Let us face it. Some times things do not go according to plan, do not turn out the way we imagined, feel the way we hoped, or shape the way we envisioned – sometimes mistakes happens. For me, this has happened in relation to the house I was recently part of building together with my partner. We mapped everything out, planned, considered, and looked, and yet, when the finished product is manifested HERE, there are things I am not satisfied with.
For example, the shower has been located in a area of the bathroom with a very low ceiling, making it impossible for someone that is taller than 1.90 cm to use it efficiently. I am able to do it, however, if it was to be, that anyone else is will live here in the future, that is tall, they would have a problem. What has particularly bothered me about this mistake is that I did have an opportunity to intervene and direct the point. I remember that I got home from work, and my partner showed me how the carpenters had set up the bathroom, and I could immediately see that the shower room would become a problem. I said this to my partner, who told me to tell this to the carpenters so that they could change the construction. Then, I said, it is too late anyway! They have already begun to build!
And it was true, they had begun to build already, however at that time, they had only yet put up the wooden framework, and it would have been easy to relocate and change the disposition of the room. But I did not say anything, and then, layer upon layer was added, and now, it is a complete bathroom, and changing the location of the shower room now, would imply a complete re-building of the toilet – and that is NOT something I am particularly interested in at the moment.
The problem I am faced with now, is that every time I enter into the shower, I become irritated, and annoyed, and start thinking about this shower, and that it is not effectively placed, how I could have changed the outlook of it if I would have stuck to my guns, to moment, immediately as I saw that the planning of the toilet would become a problem.
Today as I walked into the toilet, and this backchat emerged within me, I decided to change it, and look at it differently. Because, instead of seeing this, according to me, badly located shower, as a thorn in my side, and a constant reminder that I did something wrong, it is instead something that I can utilize to learn and expand. And I have realized that mistakes will never cease to happen, I will not one day become sufficiently perfect to never make mistakes. Every time I venture into a new area of expression, a new phase and part of my life, regardless if that is building a house, taking on a new career, starting a new hobby, there WILL be mistakes. In-fact, mistakes is a natural part of the growth process, of learning something, finding myself within it, becoming accustomed to, and making decisions of what I like, and what I do not like, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.
Hence, this poorly located shower, it is a reminder to myself that it is important to be self-honest, to not accept and allow myself and my world to be less than what it could be, and to when I find out that something is not effectively aligned, to then make sure that I act, and that I walk the process of correcting the point. AND – that I must dare and practice the courage of SHARING myself when I am dissatisfied with something, and not assume that it is too late, or that I am wrong, or that I should not say anything, but to act, move and direct myself, to see what possible, potential solutions there are for the problem I am faced with.
Not only does this bathroom offer me the opportunity to learn something when it comes to other parts of my life, it is also a great challenge in practicing living words. Because what I noticed happens within me, when I start to become irritated as to how the bathroom looks like, is that I become hard, grave and stern. I have however asked myself, would I feel like this if I was a child and made this mistake with the shower? And the answer is NO, I would not have. The reason is that as a child, I was more in the moment, more HERE, and not as invested into my belongings, as long as the shower worked, and warm water came out, it was all to my liking. And the difference between myself now, and myself as a child, was that my focus back then was HERE on me expressing, moving, directing myself in the MOMENT – I was more light-hearted and embracing of my reality regardless of how it looked. Thus, this shower problem offers me an opportunity to practice this expression of being light-hearted, easygoing and carefree that I stood as when I was a child. I do not have to make everything so serious! It is just a shower and nothing more!
This concludes my stories with the failed shower. For anyone walking through similar issues, my suggestion is to embrace the child within you, the wild, playful, carefree, and easy-going expressions that once existed within us, and that we are able to embody and live again. Fuck-ups and mistakes is a part of life, thus, let us embrace them, learn from them, and move and to perfect our creations, and obviously, dare to make more mistakes!
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