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Day 261: Creating Movement – Part 5: Practical Solutions for Resistance

In this blog we are going to look closer at some practical solutions for resistance, that I have found works effectively. There are four applications that I have discovered helps a lot when that resistance comes up from within – and I will be walking through them in order.

Be clear on you new direction

The first solution is to be clear on your direction. In order to be able to walk through that tough, and difficult moment, when the resistance comes up, and you do not feel like doing anything, it is important that you have your direction in place. Basically this means the following: You know WHY you are changing, you know HOW you are going to change, you know WHAT will happen if you do not change (consequences) and you know WHAT will happen if you change (rewards).

If you are not clear on these points within yourself, you are going to find it much easier to give in, and give up when the resistance towards movement comes up from within. The reason for this being that you have not established a purpose, and reason for yourself, you are trying to change something, yet you are not entirely clear on why, how and what you are changing. Thus, my suggestion is that you sit down with yourself, and write out your reasons for changing.

Lets take an example from my own life, my law-studies. Now I experienced resistance towards studying and reading the course literature, though I knew that I had to do it in order to be able to pass my exams. Thus, I wrote about the point and established the following: I am changing this resistance into actually reading my books BECAUSE (why) I want to be able to earn my living as a lawyer. I will change this resistance through (how) sitting down and reading my books for two hours every day. If I do not do this for myself, I might not be able to pass my exams, and thus I cannot become a lawyer (consequence). Though if I do sit down and read the literature, I will pass my exams, and be able to have a enjoyable and challenging job in my future (reward).

Placing it before myself in this way I was able to clearly see the value in changing myself, and why I had to do it – and this helped me to push through in those moments when I did not feel like reading or putting down any time in my education.

Stick with your body

The next solution is to Stick With Your Body. Now, what does that mean? Well, look at it this way: Resistance is a energy that comes up from within, telling you to act and behave in a certain way – and this energy will feel real and overpowering when you go into it, start feeding it, paying attention to it, and change yourself according to it. But, if we take a look at your physical body – you will see that regardless of the resistance that comes up within you, it will still be there, the heart will still be beating, lungs and breathing working perfectly – most parts of the body will be stable, still and the same as before the resistance – and this is important to notice.

Resistance as such does not affect the body and instead the body moves itself on the basis of practical considerations, and if it would not do that – we would be dead a long time ago. Thus, if you, instead of going into the resistance energy, place your focus and attention on your breathing, and the sensations of your physical body – this will allow you to use the body as a point of grounding/stabilization. And when you stand with the body, on the ground, you are going to notice a fascinating thing: The resistance does not have power over you – it is only a energy – and regardless of its intensity you are still able to decide on how you move within and as your human physical body.

To sum it up: The body/physical matter transcends resistance – and when you stand with the body – you will be able to use its stability and groundedness to support yourself to move through the resistance and come out on the other side.

Know your enemy

The third solution is to know your enemy, and with this I do not mean that you should go into war with resistance and your mind – no – what I mean is that it is important to understand how resistance moves, and when it moves. My observations on this point is that resistance moves in quickly, and will peak after a while, but if you continue to move through the resistance, it will run out of fuel and die out. As such – resistance does not last – it has a due date and if you stick to your guns, and continue to move, resistance does not stand a chance.

Accordingly it has been supportive to me to, every time a resistance comes up within me, say to myself that: ‘Okay, here are you resistance – though you will not be here for ever!’ – and then I continue to push and walk through the experience. This helps because you get to understand that even though it feels overwhelming and tough, there will come a moment when the resistance is going to dissipate and you will be home through.

And then – its also supportive to know WHEN the resistance usually arise, because then you will be prepared, you will know what is coming, so that you can implement your new direction immediately as you sense that lingering urge to just not do whatever it is that you are supposed to be doing.

Just do it

The last point, and possibly the most potent of all the solutions I have walked through, and by far the most simplistic, is to: Just do it. No rocket science here – though fascinatingly enough – we tend to forget this fact and instead of moving, and directing ourselves in the physical, we start asking ourselves why we do not change, if there is something we have missed, or if there is something wrong with us, because we just cannot seem to change. I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you; all you have to do is to do it. When you resist something, you take a breath, and move yourself to do it. It cannot be simpler.

So, when you find that you are wondering, or looking at potential reasons as to why you are not becoming more disciplined, then you know that ‘Shit! I am not actually DOING it!’ – and this serves as a nice alarm to know that its now time for you to get on with the doing – stop thinking about it – Just do it!

Next blog

So, these are my four practical solutions for dealing with resistance. Test them out, play around with them, and see what works for you. Maybe you will find that a combination of the applications or slightly changed application will work better for you. Transcending and learning to direct resistance is a personal process, and thus what works for me, does not necessarily have to work for you – though at least you know have some basic tools that you are able to start with.

In my next blog I am going to go into and explain the Rewards that come when you start moving through resistance, and begin your life of self-creation – it is a truly remarkable experience and the blog will definitely be worth reading.

Creating Movement – Part 1: Introduction
Creating Movement – Part 2: How laziness is created – external causes
Creating Movement – Part 3: How Laziness is Created – Internal Causes
Creating Movement – Part 4: Learning To Handle Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 5: Practical Solutions for Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 6: Baby Steps To Change
Creating Movement – Part 7: The Rewards

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Day 201: Studies and Self-Worth

The season of exams usually comes with stress and anxiety for me – though this time around I’ve been willing myself to consistently utilize the tool of self-forgiveness and breathing to bring myself out of this worrisome state of mind.

In going deeper into these reactions I’ve realized one fascinating thing – that often the reason that I am anxious and worried is because I want to receive a good mark, and excel in the course – though – and here is the interesting part – it’s not actually for ME. I’ve found that the reason I want to excel, the reason I want to get great marks is because I want OTHERS to like me, to be impressed by me, to find some worth and value in me – and so this shows an interesting separation in my starting point in regards to studies – that there exist a point of wanting to prove myself to others, and build my self-value and worth through the reactions, and experiences others have towards me.

I’ve seen that there are some primary persons that I desire to impress, and included in that number is my parents, and my family – even though I am soon in my thirties this point exist within me – that I want to show how good I am to my parents and through that gain a feeling of value and worth. Otherwise there is no actual person I want to impress, rather it’s me wanting to be impressive in general, and to be that I require to be in some favorable and highly regarded position in the system – where I will be seen as a winner, gain the respect and admiration from others, and apparently within that be valuable.

Thus – the point I want to reach is to get back to myself – and do my studies for ME – set high standards and far reaching goals for MYSELF – and not to impress another – and in this be unconditional with myself – and if I happen to fail in reaching my goals or living up to my standards – to then assist and support myself to enhance myself – and not judge myself, or go into worry, fear, and anxiety – rather push myself, will myself, and drive myself – yet without a energy driving me forward.

So, I see that when I study for my exams, and when I do my exams, I can transform this desire to be approved, to instead utilizing these situations as challenges, where I push myself to remain stable in the face of adversities and challenges – and where I push myself to reach my goals, and apply myself to the best of my ability – and not accept and allow anything less of myself than what I know am capable of – and where I take into account that my studiousness will pay off in that it will be a stepping stone into my future – thus I take the point back to myself – and make studying something I do for myself – make exams something that I do for me – make schooling and education something that I do for me – something that I walk and that I can utilize to challenge myself, grow and expand.

Thus – instead of anxiety and stress – rather look with excitement and thrill towards placing myself in a situation where I will be challenged mentally and physically – because there I know that I can push myself, will myself, and expand myself beyond what I thought myself capable of doing – as such I walk into the system realizing that it’s an adventure that will challenge me in a multitude of ways – and that even though it might be physically arduous and tough – I can still enjoy and utilize the process as nourishment in my self-growth – because I decide to do that.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change and transform the challenge of walking in the system, the difficulties, that hardships, into points that I use to grow, to expand and to develop myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make schooling, exams, and university studies an expression of myself – something that I do for myself – something that I will myself to excel within and create the best possible outcome within – as a personal challenge for me to expand myself – as well as realizing that it’s through this process that I am setting the bedrock for my future in the world money system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the challenge, the difficulty, and the arduous process of creating a life for myself in this world, and this system – and see, realize and understand that even though it can be physically and demanding – that I don’t require to burden myself emotionally – but that I can walk through it and remain within and as the stability my human physical body provides – and utilize my life as a platform upon which I create the character of life I see have the potential to live – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my exam that I am going to have tomorrow – to embrace all possible outcomes – to embrace all possible outflows – and to stabilize myself within and as my human physical body and remain stable throughout the event

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to excel in my studies, and get the best mark, get recognized and highly valued by my teachers, and my parents, thinking that this is how I generate value for myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally value myself – to not unconditionally give myself the piece of mind to know that regardless of the outcome of the test and my exams – I will stand by myself in stability within and as my human physical body – and not accept and allow myself to be influenced on a feeling or emotional level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nervous and anxious as to not producing the best mark tomorrow at my exam – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and define my self-value and self-worth according to the mark I receive – and according to the reactions I receive from family members and other close relatives as to my grades – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus not accept myself unconditionally – and embrace the test and all outcomes and realize that regardless of what mark I receive I will still love myself – and accept myself – and not accept and allow myself to limit my relationship with myself upon the basis of how I am graded and categorized in the system of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous and anxious that I won’t produce the best mark – that I will receive questions that are too difficult and tough to get through – and that I am because of that going to fail with my exam – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a hope and desire within me – that I am going to succeed with my exams – that I am going to succeed with my education – that I am going to be able to get a fantastic and desirable job when I am done with my degree – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto that positive self-image in my mind – and have that as a desire that burns within me and drives me forward – not realizing that this creates an equal amount of fear and anxiety that serves to stagnate me and make me mentally ineffective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value through the self-definition that ‘I am intelligent’ and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the only real value and skill that I have is that I can study effectively, memorize information, and then repeat it before teachers and get good grades in school – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my relationship with myself in thinking that all of my stability and my value rests upon my enabling myself to achieve in school – not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is not all of me – that this doesn’t signify the entirety of my relationship with myself – and thus I commit myself to accept and value myself regardless of how I am evaluated and defined through marks and grades in school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value and accept myself regardless of marks and grades in school – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that marks and grades in school is my only asset – the only thing that I have to compete with in this harsh and brutal world – and that thus I must at all stages always impress upon others – and make sure that I get the best grades – the best marks – and that I prove my excellence and capabilities to others – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and give myself the present of valuing and accepting myself unconditionally – not accepting and allowing any roadblocks within me to stand in the way of me living me life in a constant state of stability – where I don’t fluctuate or move regardless of the situation I am facing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for acceptance and stability – and expect these expressions to come through when and if I am able to effectively place myself in the world system – and create a life for myself that is stable with regards to money – and where I have a prestigious and highly regarded job – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my own salvation – to wait for my own life to happen – instead of me giving myself permission and allowance to live that here – to not anymore wait for something to manifest in my future – but instead give this point to myself here – that I am stability – that I am sound and grounded – and regardless of the outcome of my test and my exam – I will stand here grounded and stable with myself and not accept and allow myself to waver

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into the worrisome-character, as thinking about whether or whether not I am going to get the best mark in the test and exam to come, and whether or whether not I’ll be able to get a good and prestigious job in the future – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this fear and anxiety is misplaced – that I don’t require it and need to live a fulfilling life – and that I must give myself the permission to not succeed with my goals and plans – and be fine with that – and stand in such a way within me that regardless of how my physical reality moves – I remain grounded – physical – sound and stable – and nothing moves within me; thus I commit myself to breathe through these reactions – and ground myself back into my physical body – and state to myself that I am here – and I accept and value myself regardless of the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to with self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements – work with my self-experience – so that I don’t anymore go into anxiety and fear when I am faced with challenges in this world with regards to money – and thus I commit myself to practice and create a stability within me that can’t be touched – that is unbreakable – that is untouchable – and that regardless of the outcome in my world – I stand within and as this stability and move myself

I commit myself to accept and love myself regardless of the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to not base my value and worth on the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to support myself through the exam – and through writing the exam – through breathing and grounding myself back into my human physical body – and not accepting and allowing myself to make this event in anyway emotional – but rather walk through it as the physical and mental challenge that it is in-fact – and enjoy the point of seeing how effective I can be in this pressure situation – and how I can push myself to be stable and walk the point regardless of the pressure of the situation

Day 103: Real Value and Real Success

Since writing out my experiences in regards to the future I’ve noticed a definitive decrease in fear and anxiety – and this point was also present as I was writing my exams, even though I was nervous, there still was a stability within me, and I did not go into a state of acting in complete nervousness, I could still remain calm, and use common sense, and within this I am satisfied in terms of how I executed my exam.

Today I am going to continue writing on this topic of anxieties and fears in regards to career, school and exams – and today I am going to look at the point of how I am able to change and re-direct my starting point in relation to school and career, so that when I push myself to perfect myself, I do this not to gain a particular response as recognition, but I instead do it as and for myself.

This reminds me of an essay I wrote a couple of weeks ago, as I wrote it I was meticulous, I was precise, and the finished product was as near perfection as I could’ve gotten, yet still the mark I achieved wasn’t what I’d expected but lesser. I discussed what had happened with a being in my world, and she brought up the point of realizing that, in essence we’ve got no control over how others will interpret and respond to the work we produce, and that as such, the point to place value within is not how others respond, but in looking at ourselves, and whether we’re in-fact satisfied with our own creation – did we move ourselves in alignment with our fullest potential, is this work, this thing, an expression of myself, or only a robotically spit out piece of paper I’ve done just to get by?

See, the difference in the approach is that in writing from a starting point of myself, the paper I write become an expression of myself, and thus within that I can be satisfied with myself in knowing that I did push myself to make this product, this paper, a true expression of myself that I can stand by, because I can self-honesty say that I did give it my all, I did push myself to the utmost, and the creation is from the perspective, perfect; looking at it this way it obviously doesn’t matter what mark I will receive, what grade I will receive, because I know – that what I did was truly a masterpiece – a expression of myself – and this stands regardless of how I am evaluated in the system.

This point is cool, because in walking from this perspective, obviously there can’t be fear of loss, because I do not want a specific response, it’s not about how others react, it’s about me, and me pushing myself to express myself and not accept and allow anything less from myself than what and who I am.

Thus, in this I will change career, and school, from being a point of searching for recognition, to instead being a point of me express myself, perfecting myself, and becoming more effective and specific in the skills I have developed and in developing new skills.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not in terms of my commitments and responsibilities that I am walking and handling in this lifetimechange my starting-point – from wanting and desiring to be accepted and recognized, to instead walk my commitments and responsibilities from a starting point of me perfecting myself, me creating myself, and me expressing myself, and me not accepting and allowing anything less from myself than what I am able to stand as and express as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not in regards to my interaction and relationship with my school, and career, change the definition of the word success, to instead of being targeted to getting somewhere “out there” – realize that success is an expression of myself, is something that I can give myself, and that it’s not about what I become and do out there, but it’s about what I will accept and allow from myself and what-not – what I will push myself to stand, live, and walk as in my daily living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in instead of placing value in what response I receive, to place value on who I am, and how I walk, and how I apply myself in every moment, that this will remove anxiety, stress and nervousness, because then it’s not anymore about how others see me, it’s about me relationship with myself, which can’t be lost, because it’s HERE, and I have full control over this relationship, in that I decide to develop it, I decide to create it, I decide to perfect – and thus it’s not a want – it’s a simple practical point of being HERE with myself – and applying myself here to the fullest of my capabilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the solution is to shift my attention, from what I can out there, to instead see who I am here, how I walk here, and to within that, be self-honest with myself and strive to perfect myself and stand and walk to the best of my ability in every given moment

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I go into nervousness, anxiety, and fear in regards to what type of response I will receive on my application in the system, in regards to studies, career, and relationships – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that the solution is to change my perspective – and to look at, and develop my relationship with myself – to place value in who I am, in how I walk, and in how I apply myself; as such I commit myself to place value in my application of myself, and accept and allow myself to be satisfied with myself, when and as I know that I’ve walked to the utmost of my capabilities, and perfected a point – walked a point to the fullest of my potential – that is real success and not dependent upon how others respond or react to how I walk

When and as I see that I am worrying, and going into fear in regards to how other will respond to my application, on how others will see, experience and feel about my participation and contribution in regards to points I am walking in my world, then I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that real value doesn’t exist in how others respond to me, but it exists within my application, as the WHO I AM, as the what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow; and thus I commit myself to value myself, my participation, my discipline, my commitment, and my decision to walk, and how I am walking – and to develop this relationship with myself, and stop focusing upon how others respond and feel in regards to what I do

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Day 101: One Day Before Exams

Tomorrow I have my exams. I’ve prepared myself with discipline and diligence and I do see that I am well prepared to take the exam – still there is nervousness and anxiety within me. Thus, I will in this blog clear out any such compromising experience so that I am able to walk and take my exams tomorrow within stability and self-presence here as breath – realizing that the results on my test does not define who I am, because I decide and define who I am practically in every moment of breath through what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts that are of that nature “what if” wherein I look at my future, I look at my exam, I look at future potentials from a starting of fear, as “what if” I don’t make it, “what if” I fail, “what if” I will not get the best mark, “what if” – what will happen? As such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body and give myself a break – realizing that it doesn’t in anyway assist and support me to worry, and go into nervousness – the mind and it’s energies has no practical function but to take me into and as a experience and separate myself from this physical practical moment here – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according fear instead of in every moment standing stable here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that going into the mind, and becoming possessed with fear in the mind has no practical function or meaning, it will not change anything, if anything it will only make me less effective at recalling and regurgitating information, because I am to worried about the results, thus not effectively accepting and allowing myself to walk HERE – thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, realize that the mind isn’t support me in terms of the fear and nervousness I experience – that these experiences are in no way practical – they are only experiences – and thus won’t assist me to walk through the practical challenge than an exam in-fact represents

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I mean, looking at the situation from a physical and practical perspective, there is absolutely nothing I have to fear or be nervous about, because I have prepared myself, I have done and put in the necessary effort and work, and thus all I have to do now is simply to walk the point, to walk the exam, to walk into the unknown and trust myself that I will be able to walk it through effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overly concerned and possessed with “the results” – with “the outflow” wherein I start thinking more about what might, or might not happen, instead of me in every moment breath being HERE and walking this moment HERE – making decisions HERE upon the basis of what is here not existing in my mind trying to prevent my fears from taking place through fearing what I fear – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is a completely detrimental and irrational way of dealing with things – wherein I am going into experience, thinking that this will assist me in walking my real life, not realizing that experience have nothing to do with walking my life practically, physically and effective here – because such a point is a physical point – and thus something that I can walk without experience as I do in-fact only need myself here, my body and practically in common sense seeing what must be done and then doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be here with my physical body regardless of what challenges I am walking through, realizing and understanding that no matter what, I am here – regardless of what I face, regardless of challenges, regardless of contingencies I will still be here, and thus this is what I must develop, my ability to act, direct and move points effectively that appear and occur here – because here I have my power to direct – my power to influence – my power to move – my power to take responsibility – it’s not existent in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that for each and every time I go into my mind, and instead of participating, living and moving myself here, instead being busy and moving in my mind, I am obviously not moving myself effectively – I mean this is simply common sense – because when I am not here – obviously I can’t move and direct myself here as there must be a driver in the driver seat else the consequence will be that I create my life without awareness – without a driver in the driver seat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how when I accept and allow nervousness and fear to be the driver of my life, I create a life equal and one to fear and nervousness, due to the simple fact that I am not here in every moment – aware – stable – able – and in real-time directing my life and myself to be what I want it to be – and thus the consequence will be that my life comes to zilch – null; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here – and motivate myself in every moment to remain here – to push myself to let go of emotions and feelings – and be stable – and directive here without the mind because I don’t need the mind – I don’t require experience – I don’t require emotion – I simply require myself – HERE – in and as stability of breath – within and as the certainty that I am here – and I direct what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that even though nervousness and fear appears to be such convincing experiences, apparently indicating that there is some type of real danger, and real “what if” that I must fear – the truth is that nervousness and fear aren’t based upon facts, they are based upon construing reality – trying to make sense of it – while not look at the actual physical movement and direction of reality; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push and motivate myself to look at reality directly here – to for instance in this case see that the practical reality is that I have prepared myself – I have effectively integrated the knowledge – the point is done and complete – and as such there is no point to worry about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto this dream, which is in-fact a point of competition, that I am going to get the best marks, and within that enable myself to at a later stage become lawyer or work at the courts or something in that manner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this is a problem, because I’ve defined myself according to a dream and a plan, thinking that this plan and dream is me – instead of me being the creator and directive principle of my plans and dreams, wherein these are points that I direct and create according to what I see is practical, common sense, valid and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of the dream and hope to become a top-shot lawyer, or work in a court, and a have so-called “top position” and realize that when I accept and allow plans to control me, when I become emotionally affected and change who I am upon the basis of what I set out to do, then this is a problem, as it shows me that I am not the directive principle, I am not standing clear but I am instead allowing myself to be defined, to believe that the plan or dream “makes me” – instead of me accepting and allowing myself to create myself, for me to make a decision that “this is who I am” – and that I stand by my decision of who I am regardless of how my external reality moves – and that I stand equal and one with my external reality – realizing that moving myself in the system is nothing more but a piece of chess – that it’s about positions, it’s about planning, it’s about strategizing – which I am able to do without connecting any form of experience, dream or mental hope in relation to my direction and movement in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can obviously only be effective and live my full potential when I in-fact do accept and allow myself to have my full potential here as me in every moment breath, which implies that I don’t define or limit myself according to a plan, or a dream – believing that “I must reach this” – “or else everything fails” – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and unconditionally let my plans go from a starting point of not defining myself in relation to them – realizing that they are plans – they are mathematical equation that I’ve created and that they have a purpose that is practical – and that plans moved within a starting point of emotions are really worthless – because they are not in relation to what is real – what is practical – what is actual and what is physical – they’re simply experiences and thus obviously not in alignment with and as physical reality HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s common sense – that plans must not define who I am – because if they do – they’re no longer plans – they are my enslaver – they are my point of addiction that I follow to get a high of emotions – and not something that I move and walk towards because it makes sense – because it’s effective – because it will have an outflow that I can stand by – that I see is practical – that is relevant – that I see is cool and that I’d want for myself and others in my world; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally let go my plans as a point of me wanting to get there to experience myself a certain way, and I instead commit myself to walk HERE – practically – physically – in and as stability – as breath – walking my plans because they make sense – and if they don’t work out – I merely change the plans according to what I see is effective – practical and relevant – according what I see will work and will have a outflow which I am satisfied with it effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that nervousness and fear exist within me because I am resisting the unknown, I am resisting the realization that there is no certainty, that I can’t be assured that my plans are going to work out, that I can’t be certain that my life is going to turn out as I’ve thought, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace this unknown, to see, realize and understand that I am able to stand within this point of the unknown, that I am able to stand stable, HERE – and direct myself in every moment of breath – realizing that it’s a condition of this existence – the unknown – and it’s fruitless to fight it – fruitless to resist it – and the key is thus to understand it and learn to direct myself within it and trust myself that I will direct myself towards and as a solution that is best for all regardless of what external situations I am facing in my world and reality

Self-commitments

I commit myself to not longer hold unto my plans as a emotional experience, but to instead make me the directive principle of my plans, thus allowing me to without any emotion or feeling change my plans when I see the need for it arise – because I am here and I direct myself according to what is here

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to my plans, to realize that this world does not define who I am, I define who I am, I decide who I am – and thus the results of my exams will merely be the results on the exam and nothing more and nothing less – thus I commit myself to not make me walking in this system in anyway personal or “about me” but to realize that I am really playing chess and that it’s a game of positions, strategizing, and making moves – which is nothing personal it’s just what it is

I commit myself to stop competing, to stop trying to win, to stop wanting to prove myself to be the best and instead focus upon what I am here to do, which is to create a world, a reality an existence that is best for all – where life can be lived in the full measure – where life is honored and respected – where life is cared for – where life is treated with compassion and consideration – and thus I commit myself to realize that in the big picture my nervousness and fear is irrelevant – and that I can use this time far more effectively – than existing in and being possessed with nervousness and fear

I commit myself to realize that I decide who I am – and that I decide how I will experience myself walking in this world – I decide and not a result on my exams – thus I walk here – I stabilize myself here – I stop this point of fear and nervousness and bring myself back to what is real here

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Day 14: Test-anxiety – Stress as motivation (Part 4)

How are stressed people portrayed in this world? Partly their portrayed as people that get many things done – that have lot’s of responsibilities, and are within that being productive – that’s why their stressed – their running from activity, to activity trying to get as much done as possible; but is this in-fact so? I mean – do stressed people get more things done that non-stressed people?

premed+stressHere I can take a look at myself and ask myself this question – do I get more done when I am stressed than when I am not stressed? The answer is – yes I do get more things done – but the quality of what I do isn’t very high – the reason being that when I am stressed – I in essence run through my activities in this mood of chasing the time – trying to catch, and hold the time – and I am within that not centered here in my breath, and fully into what it is that I am doing here.

Thus – stressed people (stressed me) do not get more things done that non-stressed people (non-stressed me) – this is a lie. Within this it’s fascinating to see how I’ve still adopted a belief that I need stress as a motivational force in order to get things done in my life – and that without stress – apparently I won’t get things done.

This reminds me of some interesting facts that have been mentioned to me in relation to driving. Many tend to think that when you drive superbly fast – that this will get you to your location faster than if hadn’t driven that fast – yes – this is true – yet the amount of time that you earn upon driving very fast is really not that great in comparison to the risk you’re placing yourself at when driving really fast. The same can be said about stress – when you’re stressed you might move a little faster, and tick more boxes of you’re to-do list – yet what you’ve done is not really done – but more half-done – because you hasted yourself through the process instead of being here with and as breath.

So – there I have it – proof that stress is really not this powerful tool that I’ve thought it was – it really only servers to make me uncomfortable in my body, and to have me miss important points in relation to what it is that I am currently doing. Thus – stress – go away from my life.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that stress makes me move faster, and have me get more things to be complete – and that I will be able to do more things when I am stressed – within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how stress makes me less effective in what I am doing – that I become absent minded – and that I miss important points because I am stressed and trying to get there – instead of being specific, and detailed here in this very moment that I am participating within here

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that if I let go of stress – I won’t be able to have any motivation to move myself in my reality, and complete tasks – and get things done – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that I am able to move myself by decisions – physically – and that do not require something more than me to move me – as stress – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of stress – and to move myself beyond the point of stress – in seeing that stress is really limited and not in-fact something that assists and supports me to improve, and become more effective in my day-to-day living

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist letting go of stress – in fear that if I do not anymore hold unto stress – and live by stress – and define myself according to stress – that I am then not going to have any sort of guide – knowing how fast, or slow I will move myself in my day-to-day living – within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to move me in the pace of breath – to move me in the pace of being here with my human physical body within and as oneness and equality

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify me becoming stressed within thinking that it’s normal to become stressed – and that this is something that everybody do – and not only me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others – and to use others in order to hold unto shit that isn’t supportive for me – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath – and let go of stress – and see that it’s nothing that I will miss, and nothing I will regret myself for letting go off

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that stress gifts with a ability to understand, and comprehend more information – become more effective – more strong – and more directive in my life – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in being possessed with stress – I am simply missing my life – because I am not HERE – I am always over there in the next moment – trying to get something done – trying to accomplish something – instead of being here in this moment – and accomplish what is here for real

6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move, and direct myself from within and as a starting point of lack of time – as feeling that I do not have sufficient with time – to be able to let go of stress, and fear – and apparently if I let go of stress and fear – then this will mean that I have even less time – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that time in itself doesn’t have anything to do with stress and fear – these are simply unrelated points – something that I have related in my mind through defining myself according to time from a starting point of energy – instead of being practical – physical – and standing with time from a starting point of seeing what is practical

Self-commitments

1. When and as I see that I am going into stress, thinking that stress makes me move faster – and have me complete, and get more things done – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that stress do not change time – it doesn’t give me more time – it merely makes me move more hasty and miss points in my life that are important – and within this I become sloppy; as such I commit myself to not move myself in stress – but to instead move myself in breath-awareness here – in the pace (peace) of breath – one physical foot in-front of the other

2. When and as I see that I fear letting go of stress, believing that when I do let go of stress I won’t have any motivation anymore – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am able to motivate myself – move, and direct myself – and I do not require stress to do this for me – stress is really in-fact useless – because it doesn’t serve to assist me in handling my physical world and universe; as such I commit myself to focus upon my physical directive decision movement – and perfect this – instead of thinking that stress will in anyway assist me with self-movement

3. When and as I see that I resist letting go of stress, thinking that I require, and need to use stress as some form of guide to show me how to live in my world – and that I can’t do without stress – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that stress is a useless guide – it’s simply a energy – a reaction – and not common sense – not any guide really merely a energy-indicator saying “run, run, run!” – as such I commit myself to stop relying on stress – and instead rely upon – and use common sense to move and direct myself in my day-to-day living

4. When and as I see that I am justifying become stress, thinking that it’s normal to become stressed – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that stress is not normal – it’s something that is induced into the body through thoughts – and not a natural immediate physical expression here; as such I commit myself to stop stress – and not compare myself without others – but to stick with my self-honesty – and honor that

5. When and as I see that I am thinking that stress makes me more intelligent, and intellectual – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that stress makes me less capable of integrating, and understanding information – and in-fact makes me misunderstand information; as such I commit myself to not be stressed – but to instead breath – and be here with and as my human physical body

6. When and as I see, and notice that I am moving myself from a starting point as lack of time – as thinking that the more stress I move myself within and as – that the more time I will have; I Immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – in moving myself from a starting point of lack of time – I am creating lack of time – because I do not stand equal to time – being realistic about what I am able to do within the time that I have at my disposal – as such I commit myself to be realistic with time – and to not plan millions of activities in a time space that isn’t made to handle that many activities – but understand the limits of time – and apply myself accordingly