Tag Archives: excited

Day 416: The Concrete Floor

Because I still have my holidays I have had time to commit to a couple of carpentry projects on the farm where I live. Some of them, I am really satisfied with, others, I am not. A few days ago I completed one of those projects which I am not satisfied with, at all.

The project was about casting a new concrete floor in the carpentry cabin on the farm. The floor was definitely in need of a remake, because it had a big hole in one section, a oil spill in another, and looked generally, quite rough. On my mothers initiative, it was thus decided to recast the floor. And I was on board and excited about the project, because I have never worked with concrete on my own before.

However, this excitement, and throwing myself into the project, was also, partly what caused me to in the end, be dissatisfied with the results. Because, without doing much research, my mother and I bought some bags of concrete, and without doing much research – except for making a few calls to check in with a couple of retailers – then I threw myself into blending, meshing and throwing the concrete.

The first thing that happened, was that we had not bought enough concrete. Hence, we were only able to cast roughly one fifth of the surface, and then we had to wait for a couple of days, until we were able to buy more concrete. Because of this a part of the new floor got a different color compared to the rest, and a slightly different height. Obviously, I was not very satisfied with that.

Then, the rest of the floor, because I had not done my research, it got a rough surface, not the floor-like, normal surface that I am used to. Further, the floor height was raised about 25-30 mm which made the height of the ceiling, in some areas, too low. All this because, I did not consider, reflect and look on the point beforehand. It was done impulsively, on a whim, and the results were equal and one to that.

When I looked how this happened, how I got carried away, I see that it has to do with the excitement I was experiencing in relation to the project, and also, a form of anxiety/fear of not being productive. The excitement point, well that is easy to understand, I was excited to get started and begin working. The anxiety/fear of not being productive, has to do with the belief/idea, that what counts is the finished product – and the physical labor that is put into creating that physical product. I have seen that my mother has the same belief. And the consequence of following/living according to this belief, is that the process of consideration/looking/preparation/planning will take a backseat – and the ‘doing’ will be placed in the forefront – causing unnecessary consequences – such as in this case. Because if I would have slowed down, and meticulously planned the point, undoubtedly the results would have been a lot better.

That is the lesson to be learned. However, instead of simply learning, and moving on, I got stuck in a loop of judging myself, where I thought that I could have known, that I should have slowed myself down, that I should have pushed myself to do the necessary planning. It was a form of torment within myself. When I looked at the point I realized that the origin point of this judgment was actually not that I was dissatisfied with the result – but that I had caused a ‘loss of money’ and time. According to the capitalistic mind-set, this project and the execution of it could be defined as a waste – however – for me it was not – because the process of walking the point – what I learned from it all – WHO I WAS within the execution – all of that is still with me – and that is not something that can be defined utilizing money or used time as a marker.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself, and to feel bad, and become obsessed within myself of thinking that I should have, and could have created a better result, if I would have prepared myself more and done things differently, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself this character, thinking that it was a great loss, because I lost money, and I lost time, and apparently, I need to utilize these two resources to produce and manufacture, and create monetary value, so that I am able to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money and time, and see money and time, as things that I have to be careful with, because I might waste them, and think that what must be done with this resources are to generate more monetary value into my world – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fearful, anxious, and judgmental, when I perceive that I have used these resources to something ‘unnecessary’ and something that did not produce the necessary ‘monetary value’ that I believe is important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn from my mistakes, and then empower myself through this learning, and do that without judging myself, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I learn better, that I learn more, that I learn faster, when and as I am judging myself – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that no, I do not learn more only because i judge myself, this is an idea that I have created, and in-fact – I do not need any emotional experience within myself to SEE, UNDERSTAND and move on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become carried away by a rush of wanting and desiring to complete and produce and see the final results – instead of pushing myself to remain methodical, structured and calm – to slow down – and to allow each point in the process to take its time – to see, realize and understand that the value of life/living/expression is not in the finished product but in the process of movement/application/walking – and within and as WHO I AM in the moments of life/living/expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that from my mistakes, I can learn a lot, and I can do that without judgment, simply by seeing and recognizing what I am dissatisfied with, and then taking that with me, and changing myself – hence – it does not have to be – in anyway a emotional or reactive point – it can simply be me learning and then moving forward to apply what I have learned

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming carried away, excited, and wanting to move ahead to the execution phase in a project, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that a project is not only about the execution, that I have to see the entirety of the point, slow down, look at it, consider, prepare, and plan – that in physical reality, when doing things that I have not done before – things will move a lot smoother, and without as many problems and issues, if I give myself time to consider and look at it – and thus I see, realize and understand that each point has its time to be created – and that there is no meaning or point in trying to stress and force a project to move forward – thus I commit myself to take the time required and needed for me to walk a point of creation with the necessary attention to detail and preparation that is required for me to be able to walk the point effectively and manifest my vision into creation – there is nothing wrong about something taking a lot of time to create – in-fact all things of value and substance do take time to put into creation

When and as I see myself judging myself for having made mistakes, for having moved to fast, without consideration, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand, that I can learn from my mistakes without judging myself, and that it is not ‘the whole world’ that I loose money and time because of mistakes and things that could have been avoided, its simply a consequence, and I can learn from it – and hence the time has not been wasted, the money is not wasted – because it is all about WHO I AM within and as the project/expression and what I take with myself


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No One Would Sell You Anymore Shit In A Equal Money System

If you decide to take a stroll in our current money system, simply leaving your home, placing your one feet in front of the other one, exploring your township while enjoying a refreshing walk – you’ll with almost complete certainty experience and come face to face with one thing; though the requirement is that you walk in a city. This thing that you’ll experience and come face to face with is the following: people will try to sell you shit!

Yes – not only will you during your refreshing walk several times face the situation wherein someone is attempting to sell you something, either through advertisement as pictures, smells, sounds, shapes and forms, or direct selling – but they’ll also try to sell you shit – yes shit. And it’s this fascinating and particular point of shit being sold and auctioned in our current money system that I am going to place focus upon in these writings – because: why is it that we sell each other shit? Why is it that we invent shit products?

Though, obviously, as you buy the product, or become enticed to buy the product as the advertisement flash before your eyes, you don’t know that the product is shit – as the advertisement will make the product seem better than, more awesome, more fantastic than it in-fact is; thus you’ll believe that what you buy is actually cool – only to find it out that it breaks apart some months after the purchase – which is why you with a well rehearsed sigh conclude that the product was in-fact shit.

And even if the product lasts some years and you think that the product is actually good, it’s still less than how good and effective it could have been, if it was in-fact built to be sturdy, of good quality and supportive to man – but products aren’t built to be sturdy, of good quality and supportive to man – no they are built to expire and break – for the simple reason that such a construction creates a higher influx of money. As such you have no way of comparing the shit product you’ve bought, with an actual functional and effective product – as no such product currently exist – as all products that are created in our current money system are in-fact shit. Thus, you’re not able to see and understand what a cool product is, as you’ve never seen one of those ever – as they can’t exist, or be built in our current money system – only shit products are able to be created.

Why do I then say that all products created in our current money system are in-fact shit? It’s due to the simple reason that all products in our current money system are created with the sole intent of creating profit, as such the focus in the development and purpose of the product has not been it’s actual functionality and excellence – but instead how much money it would cost to make, and how much money it would generate back for it’s creators. Thus, no product is created with the intention of actually supporting and assisting man in living a fulfilling and effective life – and as such all products are shit; it’s simple mathematics.

But – there is obviously a solution, there is another way to live and exist, wherein survival would be removed from the life experience of man, wherein profit and greed would be removed from the life experience of man; and such a solution is a system, and this system is the Equal Money System. And in this system all would be supported with the necessities that are required for us to live and thrive, and as such products wouldn’t anymore be created from a starting point of survival – as wanting to make a profit, and calculating cost-factors in fear of spending to much time, and resources – but products would instead be created to assist and support mankind – wherein designs, and creations wouldn’t anymore be limited by the factor of money.

And the products produced wouldn’t be sold, due to the fact that all is available to everyone in an Equal Money System – as such all would be able to receive and have the best products possible, the products that truly would make life enjoyable, and fulfilling – not shit products that break when you just look at them.

Thus – in an Equal Money System we would for the first time experience and have access to in our reality, actual products of worth, relevance and value – and you’d never again have to set your eyes upon, or come face to face with the point of someone trying to sell you shit – as neither shit, nor selling would anymore exist = heaven on earth!

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