Tag Archives: excitement

Day 375: Avoiding False Aspirations

There are a lot of highly motivated people in our world, that move themselves with determination and drive, that are entirely focused on achieving some form of goal for themselves. However, there are very few people that have actually considered and picked their goal carefully, or that have formulated their vision within the context of what is best for all. The characteristics drive, determination and focus are thus usually utilized acquire some form of self-interested success that does not hold any value to anybody else but to the one desiring it. Obviously, in some parts of our lives, our aspirations must be, to a certain extent be self-interested due to the set-up of this world system. For example, it is not possible, or at least it is very difficult, to survive, if your aspirations in terms of career are solely to benefit others. Then you will end up volunteering and it will be difficult to acquire the necessary funds to survive.

However, in this blog I am going to discuss this tendency we humans have, that I have found in myself as well, to want to move on and manifest our desires, without ever having questioned the nature of our desires, without having looked into the value of manifesting that desire. Instead it is something that we want to do, because we feel good when we think about it, and that will be enough to propel us forward. Though, what I have seen, is that a goal should also have a value for others. It is not enough to just create things for ourselves and our own pleasure, not in a world where we are interconnected and dependent on one another.

Thus lately when I have had desires come up within me, especially desires connected to wanting to drive and move certain projects, I have asked myself: ‘Okay, cool, though what is the value that will flow from this? Why is it that I am want to do this?’ – and fascinatingly enough – many times I have not been able to pinpoint an actual value – rather it has just been a feeling/experience coming up within me connected to a dream/projection/image that I then feel inclined and motivated to move on. Before, I would have immediately moved myself into action, now on the other hand, I have been able to stop myself, look at the experience, and see the underlying energy – and through that understand that it was not even about the dream/projection/image – it was all about the energy.

Movement in the physical, decisions to create/manifest/build, I have seen that they are best made in stability. It is so easy to become fooled by an experience, and then suddenly believe that this experience is accurately depicting reality. One example of this from my own life has been how I at times have felt an urge/desire to buy books. I have been browsing the web, and checking out various titles, and then imagining how I would read the book, and how that would improve my intellect and my knowledge-bank – hence – the desire/energy/movement that has come up within has been the experience of wanting to expand/grow/move/develop. However, I have bought quite a lot of books in this state of energy, and interestingly enough, I have only but read a few of them. Why? Because reading the book was NOT AT ALL similar to the experience/energy attached to picturing myself reading the book.

What does this showcase? That the physical plays by different rules, and that what we FEEL towards something, does not indicate or reveal that ACTUALITY of that very thing – which is why I found it to be SO, SO important to clarify my decisions using COMMON SENSE. Asking myself the question ‘is this practical to do?’ goes a long way – because through assessing the point of practicality we have already weeded out the most unrealistic hopes/desires/wants – and also – removed the dreams/desires where we think we are creating a value – while in reality we are only fulfilling and following our own self-interested path of development and evolution.

Planning, deciding on goals and what to manifest/create in the future is not supposed to conjure any form of experience – it is supposed to be a physical act of looking at what is here and seeing what can be done and created with what is here in the future – and preferably – what can be created that is best for all. That way, we are not anymore as susceptible to become swept away by the grandiose experiences of hope, excitement and desire in relation to manifesting future goals for ourselves – rather it becomes practical and realistic.


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Day 250: Drive, Passion, and Excitement

Drive, passion and excitement – three words that so many of us look for in life, I myself not excluded, which is why todays writings will be dedicated to this point. To illustrate my issues with these words, lets have a look the popular TV-series: Suits.

In suits, which is about lawyers, everyone is working, basically, all the time – and each and everyone is driven forward by the desire for money, the desire for success, and the desire to win. Looking at this description of the characters lives, it does seem like they have a very bleak and colorless existence, though, in the series, the characters are portrayed as having the time of their life. They are working all the time, and exude such a drive, excitement and passion – it looks like working as a lawyer every second of every day is the best thing that ever happened to them, and what they want to continue to do forever.

So, when I look at suits, I have perceived that this drive, passion and excitement can only be experienced in relation to work, within a specific profession – as such believing that what I do defines who I am – and that if I change what I do then this will change who I am as well. Now, it’s a big mistake to believe this because what happens when we do? Well, we have to start running after, searching for, and try to get to that position and point in our lives where we believe we will feel satisfied, where we believe that we are going to find our purpose, and our passion – which in the worst case scenario might mean that we will search forever, until we die, and still not ever be able to find anything that sparks our interest.

Thus, the solution to this problem is to stop searching, stop trying to find – and instead realize that these words: Passion, Drive, Excitement – they can be lived in our personal lives – I can live them in my daily life as Who I Am – And thus not anymore be dependent upon life-circumstances to be the way I hoped and imagined that they should for me to be able to live.

How am I then able to live PASSION in my daily life?

Passion doesn’t have to be a feeling – instead it can be my focus, my dedication, and my complete commitment to what it is that I am doing in this moment – where I pass-it-on. Here I can thus live passion in my physical reality through really getting my hands dirty, and when I do something, be here fully – really do what I am doing – experience what I am doing, be intimate with what I am doing, be involved in what I am doing – which obviously requires me to be here in my physical body.

Further, passion is something that I can live when I am walking a particular point in my life, through doing it to the best of my ability, to want the best possible result and not accept and allow myself to be satisfied with something done only halfway. When I decide to walk a point – I instead commit and devout myself – push to find the best solutions, the best direction, and create the best possible outcomes – that is living passion physically in my daily life.

How am I able to life DRIVE in my daily life?

Drive is basically the same as self-directed movement – it’s when I make a decision to do something, and then I do it, and I don’t only do it to be done, and finished, so that I can move on to the next point – no – drive implies that I do it full on and that I push myself to walk the point as effectively as is possible. Drive is when I don’t accept and allow myself to be satisfied until I know that I’ve pushed myself with what I am walking, and I have given it my utmost attention. That is drive: The willingness to move forward and push for excellence.

How am I able to live EXCITEMENT in my daily life?

Excitement – is it necessary to feel excited, in order to live excitement? No – I don’t see that it is necessary – instead excitement is something that I can live and express through my willingness to commit myself to life, to the moment which I am participating in, the willingness to be here fully and exceed-my-self – basically push myself to be completely involved in this physical moment HERE – and not accept and allow myself to go off in my mind where I think about future playouts, things that might happen, things that might not happen, and so on.

So, this is how I see that I can change these words, and bring them into my daily routine, make them part of my life, which means that I don’t have to become a lawyer, or look like Harvey Spector (main character in the suits) in order to live a fulfilling life – because instead – I create myself as fulfillment – I create WHO I AM and thus within that I define my experience within what I do.

Day 112: Follow The Positive?

Many, many, many people tend to strive towards a greater position in society – some desire to be a Lawyer, another a Doctor, and someone third to be a CEO for a great company – and I’ve equally found this point existent within myself.

Reasons-Why-Its-Important-To-Follow-Your-Dreams1-300x330Now, to clarify, there are some cool and relevant points within for example, establishing oneself in a position of the Lawyer in the system, as this will imply a certain authority and influence that can be utilized in order to bring forth change. What I want to bring up, and work with in this blog, is the irrational desire to reach such a position in the system, just because “it’s a elite position in the system” and “it feels good to imagine myself in that sort of position in the system” – because this is the sort of reasoning that I’ve noticed within myself.

When I’ve planned my future, my studies, and my career, what I’ve noticed myself doing, is that I will look at these sort of elite positions, and want to attain them, not from a starting point of considering what is practical, not from a starting point of consider who I am within it all, not from a starting point of looking at what it would entail to walk into such a position – no – the only point existent within me will be this positive feeling I have – that “this is the position I want to get into” – and obviously – this is not a decision based upon common sense but rather upon information that I’ve accepted and allowed to become who I am, because it’s ideas and assumptions that have been spoken, lived and regarded as real by people around my during my formative years.

Currently, I am standing at a point in my life, wherein I’ve realized that creating an effective life for myself in this world, and within that, making sure that I have a impact in this world, is not the same as following the various experiences I have towards decisions – and here as an example I can share my first experience as I was introduced to the world of sales. My initial reaction was that sales is not as glamorous, not as elitist, and not as filled with stature as being a lawyer, and thus I felt that I shouldn’t pursue this point at all – within this only considering my FEELINGS towards the particular opportunity.

Regardless of my initial reaction, I decided to do some research on this point of sales, and also on the point of being a lawyer – in order to really for myself clarify what these points entailed and whether they where aligned with what I wanted to have out of my life – doing this research was fascinating as suddenly I was able to see that many of my initial assessments of the point was a complete falsity.

Firstly, I became aware that the position I was striving for, as being a lawyer in the system, in particular working with business law, was an extremely competitive market, wherein only the best had a chance to make it – and that those that got in faced an extensive work load and quite poor salaries during their first 5 years of labor – thus not as glamorous as I perceived it to be.

Secondly, I became aware that as an effective salesperson, you could enable yourself to earn large quantities of money – comparable to those of lawyers – without having an extensive education of law, and severely overworking yourself – thus I could within this see that my initial ideas and assumptions where of mark – and that in-fact – I’d limited my awareness of my opportunities in life through holding unto this particular idea of “this position implies greatness and wealth” – instead of remaining unconditional and doing actual research as to how the points operated in actual physical reality.

So, herein I’ve realized that it’s important to never make decisions according to how one feel about a point, whether it be a positive experience, or a negative experience, because only things that one can cross-reference in physical reality – having the FACTS – is valid – all else is really a form of ignorance and brainwashing wherein one assume instead of finding out what is really going on and how it actually functions.

I would like to end of with saying that this blog isn’t meant to be some form of suggestion as to what type of career is the best and which one is the worst, as this is something we must individually assess based upon the contexts of our lives, as to what it is that we want to achieve, and how it is that we want to live; the point I want to bring through here is to not trust anything coming up within yourself that is of an energetic nature – as it simply can not be trusted – and that we must instead learn to work with and live by facts.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to what I experience instead of looking at facts – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust what comes up within me and to believe that because it comes up within me – it must be benevolent and trustworthy and that I can build my life around it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in such a way that I resist that which I experience a negative reaction towards – and go into attraction towards that which I experience a positive reaction towards – without regard and consideration for the FACTS – the objective reality that is here which doesn’t consist out of experiences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am faced with decisions in my world – to consider what I experience – instead of considering what is here; and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I experience towards a particular decisions is more important than common sense – than assessing the point in physical reality and looking at whether or whether not I am able to stand with the outflows of making such a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can only trust facts – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not when I make decisions – accept and allow myself to do the research – to do the necessary check and assess and cross-reference my decisions with reality to look at whether the point is in-fact in aligned with my reality or whether it’s just a miscalculation and a positive feeling that I am following without any discernment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I experience fear and anxiety towards a particular point, and when I resist and experience negativity towards a particular point and opportunity, to then believe that this implies that I should avoid that particular point and opportunity, I should resist and not go to it because apparently it’s “bad”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it’s common sense that I can’t rely on my experience of points to make decisions, because what are really my experiences? Well – it’s my assumptions, the limited information that I’ve gathered throughout my life that doesn’t really have any connection to physical reality – because most of it is hearsay – most if it is things that I’ve created and made up in my mind and that isn’t really existing on a physical level; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – and make decisions based upon facts – based upon what I see – what I can cross-reference – and what I can see in my research as a matter of fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking at the facts, look at my experiences, and place more trust in my experiences, than what is here as facts – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and see, realize and understand that effective decisions can only flow from having facts – and as such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make an effort to do specific and effective research on points when I make decisions or consider making decisions and plans in my world

Self-commitments

I commit myself to when I make decisions – look at the facts, the practical, the reality – what is here – and to forgive and breathe through any experience coming up within me whether positive or negative

I commit myself to not trust the experience, whether negative, or positive, coming up towards a decision I walk, that I’ve made, or that I am planning to make – and instead consider practical points – what is here – what I can see and touch and discern as being actual reality

I commit myself to realize that I can’t trust an experience and make an effective decision based upon experience – because experience is not in relationship to reality

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Day 44: Tips, or no tips?

Driving a taxi a re-occurring event is that I will receive some tips – and sometimes I receive good tips, and other times none at all – often my participation with the person do not influence them that much as whether they will give tips or not, because most have already decided and follow a already established pattern.

Now, the point I want to write about is a reaction that comes up just before the moment that I am to receive, or not to receive tips – meaning – just before the moment when the customer is to pay. When the customer stretches over, and hands me the money – this is when I tend to go into a reaction of anticipatory anxiety – or excited anxiety; and when this reaction comes up within me – I tend to react to this react in a fear of that this reaction will be seen by the customer and then they will feel uncertain, or decide to not tip me after all.

Thus – looking deeper at this point – what does it show me? It shows me an addiction to me – and that I am holding unto a slight excitement each time that I am about to receive money – as if money is some type of a drug that will give me more than what I had before.

I mean – it’s fascinating – I listened to this eqafe interview before that was done by a person that lived out his life as a homeless – and he shared his observations in relation to when he was begging, and how people reacted to that; and one point that he noticed was that human-beings tended to not want to give away their money because this was their access to “experience” so to speak – because with money – they could manifest all those vividly colored imaginations, and hopes in the mind into reality – and for a moment experience themselves empowered, strong, and satisfied.

This is what I am doing as well – and I am able to see that when I do receive tips, I have this thought come up within me that: “now I can go and take a coffee, or buy something to eat – because I won’t waste any money doing it” – I mean it’s fascinating – even if hadn’t received tips I’d still be able to go and buy a coffee, or something to eat – and I still wouldn’t have “wasted” money so to speak – because I would’ve gotten something practical, and necessary in return – such as a coffee, or something to eat.

So, I am able to see that what kicks in during these small moments of receiving tip – that is my greed, and miser-character – because I’ve noticed that I do have a tendency to be a miser when it comes to money, and feel good/safe about saving, and protecting my money – and feel uncertain, worrisome, and nervous about spending money; so when I receive those tips, or have the possibility to receive those tips – I react because then I go into my money-character – as my pre-programmed way of living as trying to protect myself through accumulating money.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as the miser-character when I am about the receive tip – as becoming excited, and experiencing anticipatory anxiety – feeling that “this is it” – now I can either enlarge my fortunes, or I can become robbed of my fortunes; and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to money – and to believe that when I save, and that when I have much money – that I am protected and allowed to feel safe, and secure – and instead of realizing, and understanding that it’s a conditional safety, and security – because as soon as my money are going – I experience myself unsafe again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a miser in relation to money – wherein I will not supply myself with points that I need, and that are effective, and useful for me to have – because I will instead think about how much money I have, how much my savings are worth, how well I will feel after I’ve purchased this product – and within this I will compromise myself because I am not looking at what I need but instead at numbers, fantasies, and ideas in my mind – that are not relevant to living here in physical reality – equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not treat myself with a coffee, or something to eat – when I am able to afford such a point, and when I see that I’d like such a point in a moment – I mean – what good are money when I am saving them, simply for the sake of feeling safe, because I have much savings – I mean – it’s insane; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and bring myself back here – and re-align money to be a practical point in my world, and reality that I utilize, and use to support myself effectively in my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself lost into a state of fear, as fearing loosing money – within this becoming blind to the opportunities that are in my life – and to the possibilities that are in my life – because everything that I am thinking about is that I don’t want to loose money – while obviously – there are severely more important things to care about, and to consider in my world – than my fear of loosing money – I mean – money is meant to be used to create a effective day- to-day living – it’s not meant to be saved in some account for no purpose – I mean – that’s what you do when you expect to live for 100 of years – and only live to survive without any form of courage to make this life something extraordinary; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push through this fear – as the miser-character – and allow myself to see money as a tool and not as something mysterious that I must fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am protecting myself by protecting my money – not realizing that my money is not me – but money is merely a invention that does not need to have food, water, and effective physical care – I mean – money is a so to speak – dead object – and I am not that – as such – when I protect my money I am not protecting myself – because protecting myself would imply that I actually care about my human physical body, and about my physical surroundings – and make these the best that they can possibly be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money protects me – and that the more money I have – the safer I will be – and the more I am able to let go, express, and enjoy myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is a faulty, and irrational idea/understanding of money – because money is not like a gun proof west that I put on – it’s merely a point that allows me to participate in this world, and reality effectively – and in some dimensions do actually support me to be safe in this world; yet – within this it must be understood that the primary point that determine my reality – as after all not money – but the human being dealing with, and using the money – which is ME; and thus – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that thinking that money will secure my future, and my safety – is really a point of blame – and simply shoving the responsibility of my life unto money – instead of me taking responsibility for myself, and my life – and making sure that I am effective in my day-to-day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a anticipatory anxiety when I see that there is a possibility that I will get new money – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that when I receive money – my life will change – I will experience myself more fulfilled, and able to deal with this world – and I will not experience as much fear and uncertainty – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath – bring myself back here – and understand that money is merely a physical object – that has nothing to do with my general movement – I mean – as to the point of – WHO I AM within and as my daily physical movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not allowed to buy a cup of coffee, or some snack outside when I am driving – thinking that this is a “unnecessary expense” – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I’ve created a very limited definition of the word necessary – wherein I’ve in essence abused myself through thinking that “no point is necessary” – and that I am in essence able to cope with bread, and water – and that I don’t require anything more but that point of bread and water – and within this I forgive myself that have not accepted and allowed myself expand my understanding of what is necessary – to also see that it’s necessary for me to live a dignified life – meaning that I do have access to these small points of comfort – and that in a way these are necessary for an effective life; so as such – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop my fear of spending money – and to stop my miser/saver-character – and instead realize that money is not something here to make me FEEL safe – but something that is here for me to use to support myself to live an effective daily physical life – here

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am compromising myself, and not buying something that I need, and that would assist, and support me in my daily living application – because I instead want to “save the money” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that saved money are really money that aren’t used – they are money stuffed away for a rainy day and as such in essence an attempt to escape death – not understanding that death is certain – and that as such – money is to be stored away merely to have them stored away – I mean it’s cool if there is a specific purpose for the storing – such as buying a expensive product that self requires; but merely saving for the sake of saving – I mean what is that? As such I commit myself to stop saving for the sake of saving – and instead use my money when I have access to money – and that there is a point I’d like to be that would enhance me and my expression of myself in daily living

When and as I see that I am going into and as a state of anticipatory anxiety as I am about to possibly receive tips – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that money doesn’t mean anything – unless I am here effective to direct and move money in my world – as such – money is secondary – and what is of primary importance is who I am; thus reacting to the point of money is really irrational because it’s giving money more importance than what it deserves and not looking at what is of real value, and importance – which is the effectiveness of my daily application in self-honesty; as such I commit myself to focus on myself – and to place value on myself – and stop valuing money more than me living effectively breath, by breath here

When and as I see that I am reacting, and going into a state of excitement, and happiness, as I’ve received money as tips – thinking that now I can buy something nice for myself, such as a coffee, or something to eat; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that I mean – I do already have money – so why must I receive tips from someone for me to allow me to give myself a treat in the form of coffee, or something to eat? I mean it makes no sense – and it comes from this miser-character, or saving-character – as valuing the point of saving simply because it feels good – not understanding the physical implications of saving in comparison to spending – I mean – in spending money I can actually bring forth products into my reality that is of benefit to me – in saving money – I mean the money is really just laying there not being used – as such not really having a purpose what-so-ever; as such I commit myself to stop fearing spending money – and to stop judging spending money, and glorifying saving money – and instead look at the practical implications of these points – and act in such a way that the best result comes about

When and as I see that I am going into a state of excitement as I receive money, feeling that I’ve now “grown” a bit – because I’ve been given these money – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I’ve not grown – I’ve not changed – the only thing that has happened is that I now hold some more money in my pockets – I mean physically nothing has changed at all – and I mean this makes it fascinating to ask – what is this excitement – is it even valid? I mean – small sum of money and I become excited – what is that about? And as such I see that I’ve placed this completely unrealistic value on money – as believing that money will in some way save me – and make safe in life – while that is absolutely not so – because at the end of the day – I stand responsible for my effectiveness in living – and as such – whether I am safe, or not – is only to a certain extent depending on money – but mostly depending on my ability, and clarify in self-direction in my day- to-day living; as such I commit myself to stop glorifying money – and I instead realize that what’s important is my daily physical movement and application of myself – one and equal as breath – that is the key to effective living – not how much money I have.

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Spiritual Food and Real Food

One way in which the complete and utter mess of this world has been hidden, and disregarded is through spirituality; because within spirituality all that people are interested in is – “to feel good” – “to filled with positive energy” – “to follow the highest excitement” – and much more that I won’t go into.

The point is that – in spirituality – the physical and actual state of this world is disregarded through placing all the focus on feelings and mental matters, and as such the believer in spirituality is able to hide from what is actually going on, and remain in a bubble of individuality, as the search for ever more positive feelings, and ultimately ascension.

And this search and separation from reality is supported by conmen – people that are able to make money from the desire of others to reach a orgasmic state of ascension – these people sell “spiritual food” – books, stones, audio-tapes, movies – all kinds of SHIT to have the spiritually involved raise his vibrations and become more spiritual.

Now – I say that spiritual food – as products sold to be consumed by spiritual people – is SHIT because it’s in-fact not food; it’s in-fact not worth anything at all – it’s in-fact made up stories containing beautiful and unsubstantial words, pooped out in a industrial mass production – and the most telling truth as to why “spiritual food” is in-fact shit is the following = you can’t eat spiritual food.

People that starve are not able to eat their feelings, or their high vibrations – they are not able to eat ascensions, or the fifth dimensions – they are not able to eat fluffy and beautiful words – starving people need actual real food to live – food that comes from the earth, that has been grown and nurtured during time, and that it has taken effort to create – physical effort and movement; such food can’t be created through feelings – or vibrations – thoughts – beliefs or knowledge – there must be actual physical self-movement.

Thus – spirituality and the industry of mass consumption that it has spawned is a complete and utter lie – it’s self-deception – spiritual believers use it to run away from this world, and conmen use their desire to run away to make tons of money – and the truth is that all of it is nothing but useless – USED LESS – as it can’t in-fact be used to create anything of substance – it’s a mental picture, a idea, and not anything of this physical and actual reality.

Real food is the food we eat – it’s breakfast, lunch and dinner – it’s the food that we cook and that someone has put time into growing – it’s food that comes from the earth; this is the food that makes our life possible and without we’d be dead – thus – see through the lie of spirituality and come back to reality and instead of spiritual food – appreciate and be grateful for the food that is here, that nourish your body, as actual, real and substantial food – from the earth.