Tag Archives: expression

Day 457: Work Is Pretty Fun

Something I really feared and resisted, especially in my teens and early twenties, was to get a regular full time job. I saw it as a form of death – and I did not want to become anything like my parents. I perceived both of them as working too much, and as having lost that playful and youthful expression that could recognize in my peers and myself. Back then, I thought the problem was work.

I found various ways to avoid becoming part of the work force – until – I realized that this was a limitation I had created for myself. Once I understood that it was not work that was the problem, and that rather it was WHO I AM in relation to work, my entire perspective changed. I decided to pursue a university degree and from then on I have been committed to learning a trade and acquiring the necessary skills to become effective within it.

Fact is that work now offers one of my primary sources of learning and expansion in life. Obviously, this does not happen automatically. If I just go to work, and sit there, wait for the time pass, then I will be awarded with very few moments of expansion. However, if I make sure that I make work an equal part of my life, where I push myself to learn, expand, and move, then that is what I will receive in equal measure. Expansion does not happen by itself – it must be directed – it requires discipline and effort. Oftentimes there is a wall of resistance that must be broken down. And when I move beyond the resistance, there is a new world opening up.

It is this new world that I have come to enjoy so much in my work. Because it is not necessarily about the work in itself – it can be about the skills I develop that are indirectly related to my work. At the moment, I have been pushed to develop intimacy, empathy and social skills – and not directly in relation to the work I am doing – but rather as something that exist on the side and as a consequence of my primary work responsibilities. That is not something I would have been confronted with had I not been working.

I sometimes hear people complaining about their work and how they do not want to be there but rather be at home living and fulfilling their private interests. This is a limited way of looking at work. The solution is to make sure that regardless of where we are at, that we find ways to discover and empower ourselves. There are opportunities everywhere, however, in order to see them, we have to be OPEN and RECEPTIVE – and in order to ACT on them – we have to be DISCIPLINED and READY. To be able to master this approach we cannot accept and allow ourselves to remain in a state of whining and complaining. We have to be on our toes and READY to embrace whatever might come our way.

Today, I enjoy going to work most of the days in the week. The days where I do not. I see those days as my challenges. They challenge me to go beyond that emotion of resistance, and to make something out of myself and my day, even if I do not feel like it. Because if it is one thing that I have understood, it is that I can never wait for my mind to give me the get go. My emotions and feelings will never be ready. No, I have to make the decision – PHYSICALLY – through acting in the physical – through changing myself with actual acts in matter. Thus, instead of remaining in that state of depression and tiredness – I protrude my chest, I straighten my back, I push my shoulders backwards, breathe deeply, and start to look at what I can do to make the most of where I am – and I PROMISE – there are ALWAYS ways to move beyond the obvious.

Concluding: Work – a challenge and a gift to be lived and experienced fully – and today it is a opportunity that I am grateful to have in my life.

I have used the Desteni tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to manifest this change for myself. And through this process, what seemed to be dry and meaningless, has become a well of inspiration for me. For anyone that wants to know what is possible to be created – I suggest that you investigate Desteni.



Day 414: Redefining: Physical

After listening to the Eqafe interview Location of Existential Physical Process I have decided to redefine the word PHYSICAL.

How have I lived the word?

Physical, is a word, that I primarily see as a noun or adjective – hence not an action – but rather a passive object or description. Obviously you are able to use the word as a verb, such as: ‘Let’s get physical’ – though that is about the only example I know. Hence, to LIVE the word PHYSICAL – is something I have yet to explore.

However, I have since starting the Desteni I Process been continually practicing physical presence, being AWARE of the physical. I have done that through pushing myself to breath with awareness, and through being aware of my body, from the tip of my fingers to the tip of my toes – and that is something that have challenged me a lot – at the same time it has also been very enjoyable. This is the closest I get to living the word PHYSICAL.

Otherwise, physical, is something that I see as what I can tangibly touch, see or smell – it is something that interacts with my physical body or in my physical body – something that I am able to sense and experience with and through my body.

Sounding the word



early 15c., “of or pertaining to material nature” (in medicine, opposed to surgical), from Medieval Latin physicalis “of nature, natural,” from Latin physica “study of nature” (see physic). Meaning “pertaining to matter” is from 1590s; meaning “having to do with the body, corporeal” is attested from 1780. Meaning “characterized by bodily attributes or activities” is attested from 1970. Physical education first recorded 1838; abbreviated form phys ed is from 1955. Physical therapy is from 1922. Related: Physically.

Creative Writing

Physical – when I take this word within me and look at it – I get the sense of and endless ocean of darkness – silence – there is a deep and contented steadiness to the word – and it feels as if the word is solid – manifest – complete – the foundation from which everything springs and moves. The physical is not only about what can be sensed – it is about that deep connection within the human physical body – that goes deep, deep, into a dark and timeless calm.

Standing and living as the word PHYSICAL – would thus be to bring that deep and timeless calm up within me – and practicing that stance/living/expression within me as I go through my days – seeing, realizing and understanding that these shallow, hasty, rushes of positive and negative energy, that moves about, they are not relevant, neither are they of any consequence, in comparison to the endless depth of the PHYSICAL. Hence – bringing this word up within me can be of great support when I notice that I am loosening my balance and direction – and where I notice and see myself – falling into the trap of some experience or energy.

Redefining the word

The deep and timeless matter from which all originates

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Day 362: It Is Not About The Plan, It Is About Who We Are

Today after I had waken up, I gave myself a moment to just sit, breath, drink my coffee and map out my day. It was restful, and any thought, projection, or inner vision that came up, I stopped it and brought myself back to breathing. At one point I had an experience of stress arise within me, and together with it a line backchat: ‘I cannot sit here and waste away all my morning just breathing, I have to get up and do stuff’. I breathed and let go of the stress, and brought myself back here.

Afterwards I felt relaxed and clear within me, and with ease I flowed into the rest of my day, and began taking care of my responsibilities and commitments. I experienced myself differently than otherwise, I was more stable, I moved slower, and fascinatingly enough, I was a lot more effective than normal. Things seemed to do themselves when I was around – and I moved myself from task, to task, until, I was done.

Reflecting on my day I can see that the reason as to why I had such a smooth and easy experience, and why I could move myself with ease, yet still get a lot done, was because of how it all started. I allowed myself to begin my day in stability, with clarity, grounded HERE in my human physical body – and that set the tone. I find it very interesting that things we perceive to be a waste of time, might actually be that which will make us more effective and get more things done – that which will fuel us to keep moving, and keep our focus and direction. Efficiency is not necessarily fast, it can also be slow, methodical, relaxed – a state of being that allows for physical energy to be used in a sustainable way. From a different perspective it is obvious common sense, because how can we expect to be efficient, if we have so much going on within ourselves that demands our attention.

This also exemplifies another point, we cannot beforehand judge a particular activity as either being supportive or not. Even though we might have a lot to do, many responsibilities that needs tending, it might be beneficial to sit down, and for a moment do nothing at all. Thus, we cannot judge activities based on our inner preconceived definitions and ideas, our own pre-programmed value system – because living effectively is not about following the norm – it is about creating a new supportive way of living and standing as an example for others so that we are able to change life on this earth as an express of who we are.

Another interesting point is that I was a lot more effective when I was silent, moved slowly, and took time for myself to stabilize before I took action. The same goes for walking any point in the world system. If we try to take action and make a difference out there, without first having done that for ourselves, without first having stabilized, cleared and supported ourselves to become stable, then we will face a lot of conflict. This happened to me, where I for example, was not even able to make a proper decision as to selecting a direction for myself in the world system, because I still accepted and allow too much fear within me in relation to my future.

Self must come first, then we can begin to walk our outside world. Our standing must be clear and stable, then we can begin to impart our awareness unto those around us. If there is conflict in our world in some way or another, the first thing that should be looked at is self – what is going on within? Is there a misalignment, a reaction, a program that has been allowed to run unchecked? Because even though we might believe that our world is separate from us – on a physical level that is not true – we do impact and move our reality in many ways – and the key to stability begins with clearing and correcting the inner reality.

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Day 336: Aligning Self To Reality

What I have liked to do in my life when it comes to interests and hobbies is to commit myself a 100 percent to them. I have enjoyed making one sole point the center of my existence, pushing that one point as far as I have been able to. This way of immersing myself in interests have allowed me to develop skills and abilities fast, and reach goals that I had set for myself. I loved and still do love the process of taking on something new, a to me completely unknown technique, and then putting in the time to master point. The process of learning and expanding I find to be very rewarding and fulfilling, and it is fascinating to look back and see the progress that has happened.

However, growing up in this world, having to survive and make a living for myself, things change. It is not anymore possible for me to dedicate all of my time and energy to only one particular aspect of my world, as I have many other responsibilities and commitments that needs to be cared for daily. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it simply means that things have changed, my life is not anymore the way it was ten years, and because of that, the way I approach interests and hobbies must align as well. And this is what I would like to discuss in this blog, how we tend to limit ourselves in our self-expression through attempting and trying to re-live memories of the past instead of looking at the possibilities and state of our current life, and aligning our self-expression to the new conditions.

This is an example picked from my own life. Before I started to work, and before I moved to a big farm property, when I was still studying and living in a small tenant flat, I used to love recording music. I would sit for hours and play with sounds, record segments, and practice my instrumental parts to perfection. I experienced these moments as deeply fulfilling and enjoyable. However, as is the case with must students, my university studies got to an and, and a new chapter began in my life, where I now had to go out and find work for myself. Hence, this is what I did, which decreased the time I had available for music drastically. Then, as I have touched upon above, I moved to a big farm property, which for those that are not aware comes with a great amount of maintenance work, thus further decreasing the time I had available.

I realized that I did not anymore have the time necessary to sit down and pursue my interest for music in the same way as I had done in my past. My life had changed, yet my interest and desire to express myself within making music had not. This initially created a lot of conflict within me, and I blamed my work, where I live, and the amount of time that I had to place into ‘survival’ related points. The problem was that I could not fit in my hour long sessions the way that I had done before, and that made me feel limited, and constricted. There simply was not time for it.

At first, I believed that the solution to my problem was to move to a smaller property, and to decrease the hours I worked. I thought that if I managed to pull that off, I would have time again to do what I love. However, I could soon see that neither of those options were practical. Because fact is that I had made a decision to move to a farm property, than in terms of living space, comfortableness, and compatibility, is by far the best place I have ever lived at – and fact is that I did walk through my education and the job that I managed to get is directly related to my studies and a very good foundation for my future life – and fact is that this job is demanding and time consuming. Thus, I could see that even if I did not like it, my life had changed, and changed in such a way that it was not practical for me to redirect my focus and change the path I had started out on. I saw that it made sense to stick to my decisions and keep walking. Though, the problem still remained, I did not have time for my music.

At this point insights started to open up . I understood that I did not have a choice and that instead of attempting and trying to reinsert my past way of living into my new life – I had to restructure the way I approached things and align them into my current state of life. This is when I saw that instead of recording music for hours, I could take my guitar, sit down to sing and play some 10 to 15 minutes when I saw I had a moment to do so. Because that way of inserting music into my life did work with the conditions I was faced with – and within this I could also see, realize and understand – that what I was missing was not specifically the recording of music – it was instead my expression that I had accessed and lived while practicing music. Hence, I realized that I could bring through this expression in small bursts, when there was time for it.

This is what I mean with aligning myself to reality, instead of trying to align reality to my memories and ideas, where I try to impose and enforce a particular outcome, because I am too stuck in my mind, and not HERE – with the PHYSICAL. The solution is thus to embrace our current set of circumstances, work with what is here, be creative, and not accept and allow ourselves to believe that there is only one way to do things – because there is not!

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Day 324: Did I Do Something Wrong?

In this blog I am going work on the following mind pattern: Some days ago I faced a situation in which I thought that I was given a spare part to my tractor by a friend of mine. However, my friend clarified that he was not giving me the part but expected to get money in return. In that moment I felt embarrassed, and vulnerable, and thought to myself that I should have known! How could I have expected him to give me this part! Throughout the rest of that day I returned to this moment in my mind, and each time, what came up within me was this experience of embarrassment, ridicule, and feeling stupid. Several times I thought that my friend must think that I am an ass, that expected to get this part for free.

I am going to look at this pattern through asking myself four questions: How am I? What am I? Why am I? Who am I? – and through these questions walk the mind-pattern, and define a practical solution for myself that I can apply real-time.

How am I?
In the situation that I described above I felt nervous, tense, inferior, and vulnerable. I believed that the people around me thought badly of me, that they did not like me, and that they saw flaws in me. I was worried they were going to spot a weakness and use that to their advantage, speak about me behind my back. I judged myself because I did not have a casual and relaxed approach to my friend wanting money for the spare part.

What am I?
In the situation, I am not expressing myself to my fullest potential, rather I am standing as an example of a reaction, of holding back, and not accepting and allowing myself to live fully.

Why am I?
I am here on this earth to learn about myself, to see, understand and correct my patterns, and hence, this situation is an excellent opportunity for me to expand me insight and self-knowledge. I am here to live fully, and hence, I see, realize and understand, that this small moment, and my reaction within it, is insignificant in the large picture, and thus not something that I should make a big deal out of within myself.

Who am I?
To correct this pattern, I am to live self-acceptance and light-heartedness – allowing myself to NOT take things to seriously – allowing myself to not be right – to do something that is seen as socially unacceptable or bad – and still – accept and LOVE myself. Thus – the solution is to stand unconditional in my self-love – and to live that practically through STOPPING the judgments – and instead SMILING at the point – and accepting and allowing myself to let it go through relaxing myself with my body – relaxing my muscles and bringing myself back here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too serious about how I am perceived by others, and judge myself when and as I perceive that others have created a negative judgment about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value what others think of me, and define myself according to how I believe others see me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a demand unto myself – that I am to be calm, stable and relaxed when it comes to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that I have perceived to be greedy or misers when it comes to money – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will judge me the same way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be judged as a miser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving the impression that I am a miser – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over-compensate through being generous to the extent where I am compromising myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to have a good impression of me and like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to love me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort, acceptance and value in others – and not trust myself – and stand by myself regardless of what might play out in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand by myself – but abandon myself when I perceive that others are against me – and then fight with myself – instead of accepting myself – and loving myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as flawed and inferior – and thus seek others approval in the belief that this will raise my value – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself unconditionally – and understand that my value is constant HERE – that nobody outside of me can determine my value – because my value is HERE as me by the fact that I am here within and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for approval in others instead of approving myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace that I have a problem with money when it comes to giving and receiving – and that this is not something to judge – but instead something to understand – so that I can correct the point and develop a common sense – equal and one relationship with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my problems – the things I have to work on within myself – and understand that they are not bad – but simply weak spots that I require to understand and correct – and hence I commit myself to LOVE myself unconditionally – through NOT judging my weak points

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself judging myself, because I have reacted towards either giving, or receiving money, in fear, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I do have problems with money – and this has got nothing to do with others – and the reactions I perceive they have towards this point is not relevant – what is important is that I understand my issue and move myself to direct – for myself – and thus I commit myself to UNDERSTAND my problem with money – to FOCUS on MYSELF – and to approach my issue within unconditional self-acceptance

I commit myself to be curious about my issues and investigate them unconditionally – to not judge – instead LEARN and UNDERSTAND

I commit myself to replace judgment with curiosity and interest towards learning more about myself and the issues I have – in this case with money

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Day 238: Self-neglect – and how to correct it

A couple of awesome and inspiring interviews have been released from Eqafe in the last few days covering the subject self-neglect. Here are links to the products:

Self Neglect: How you Neglect Yourself – Atlanteans – Part 307

Self Neglect: Changing the Pattern – Atlanteans – Part 308

Self Neglect: Awareness Emerges – Atlanteans – Part 309

NeglectedWhen I listened to the interviews I was amazed, because I could clearly see how I had been neglecting myself, my body, my process, and in short myself. Before I couldn’t see my self-neglect – it had become part of me – and in this world the generally accepted way of moving through life is within and as self-neglect. In some ways it is actually demanded of each human being to neglect him or herself – neglect is a part of the survival system – where we have to neglect that which is best for all in order to survive in the world system.

The word neglect in the dictionary has the definition: Fail to care for properly

Now this definition requires us to have a clear definition of the words care and properly – because without being clear on those two words – we are not able to see when we do not CARE for a point in our world PROPERLY – and thus neglect ourselves. And that is what these interviews assisted and supported me to see – because some practical examples are given – and being shown the nature and of neglect and it comes through – it’s easier to see the energetic signature.

For example, you can find the energetic signature of self-neglect in your self/actions/living when you rush through doing the dishes, just trying to get it down as fast as possible, and leaving behind grease, and stains of food on the plates. You can find the signature when you go to the bathroom, and as you wash your hands, you do it routinely without attentively making sure your hands are clean, rubbing the soap, and making sure that your hygiene is effective. You can also spot the energy of self-neglect when you wake up in the morning, and you start that inner rush, going into the bathroom while at the same time thinking about what you are going to do, and forgetting to make your bed, or opening the window to vent musty air from your bedroom after a night of sleep.

Basically, you will find self-neglect in the areas of your life where you have a tendency to be IN YOUR MIND, in the NEXT THING you are going to do, in the NEXT project – and this you will experience as a RUSH – a constant experience of anxiety/stress/pressure – where you will justify not living in and caring for your physical reality effectively, through thinking that you do not have the time. That is the very core of self-neglect – failing to care for your physical reality because the mind reality is seen as more important.

It’s not strange that our world looks the way it looks, with the ecosystem deteriorating, the economical system falling apart, the educational system worsening by each day, when we in our personal lives are not able to care for ourselves and our direct environment. Isn’t it obvious that this will reflect in the world system? It’s common sense that the greater whole is the sum of all the small parts – and the small parts in the context of the world system is each human beings individual life – individual actions – and individual expression.

Thus, if we are serious about changing the world to become a better place, we MUST start with ourselves, and make sure that we don’t accept and allow neglect in our personal worlds. Because if we do – how can we ever expect the greater whole to change? It’s impossible!


Day 225: A Slight Movement of Anxiety

Today I’m going to investigate a movement of anxiety that I’ve become aware of when I interact with people that I’ve already established somewhat of a relationship with.

So, for context, I was at the library studying, and then I saw one of my former classmates at the peripheral of my view – Immediately as I saw him there was a surge of anxiety that came up within me. In that moment I looked more closely at the anxiety to see where it was coming from, and I could see that it was triggered by a thought of him in someway become angry and rejecting me. So, the anxiety was about me fearing that something I would do, or not do, around this person, would cause him to feel as if I’d in some way treated him badly.

I could also see that there was a slight conflict within me that fueled this anxiety – on the one hand I feared making contact with him, and announcing my presence, and on the other hand I feared not making contact with him, fearing that if I didn’t – he would form an opinion of me as not being very sociable and nice. Thus, I was stuck in a loop within myself of two contradicting points – though the origin of the fear was the same in both cases – WHAT WILL HE THINK OF ME?

Why would I care so much about what another thinks of me?

The obvious answer to this is because what I perceive he thinks of me, means something to me, I accept and allow it to define me, and my value – that is the acceptance and allowance that exist within – that what this other person will conjure in their mind, and experience as a emotional or feeling reaction – that is the grading of me – that is my final judgment. This would indicate that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to give myself that position within me, that I DECIDE who I am, the I DECIDE my value – and that this is not determined by anyone else but myself. Because why should it? How come my interpretation of another’s reaction should be define who I am? What sort of validity does how I perceive another’s reaction have, that makes it an apparently factual assessment of me as a being in a moment?

The answer is – there is NO reason why it should define who I am. There is NO reason why I should fear what others think of me, because it’s really NOT relevant to WHO I AM – and thus – the correction I see that I must work with is living this self-trust, and self-worth – and practice this practically through breathing through these reaction – placing my attention in the tip of my toes and fingers – stabilizing myself HERE and standing as the statement that I AM HERE – and practice standing vulnerable, open and relaxed in my human physical body – allowing my chest area to protrude slightly – thus living the statement in the physical – that what someone else think can’t in-fact define me or have an impact on me – because it’s simply common sense that I make the decisions as to who I am and I decide to be comfortable with myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to make a stand for and as myself when talking with, and facing human beings in my world – to practice standing within and as my human physical body and showing myself to this world – within the statement that THIS IS WHO I AM – and realizing that I decide and define my relationships with others – and that I decide and define my relationship with myself – and that whether another likes or dislikes me is not a point that is relevant to WHO I AM – when I decide that I will stand with myself unconditionally HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand within and as self-worth and stability when interacting with others in my life, to stand in the knowing that I will embrace, accept and hold myself regardless of what another thinks of me – that I do not accept and allow the reaction of another to define who I am – because I decide who I am – I decide how I experience myself – I decide what words to speak and what words to define me – my life and who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’m limited with regards to my interactions with others, and that my value is limited and less than the value of another – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach others from within this starting point that I’m limited, and less than – and that I hold less value than another – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding how this is in-fact an assumption that I’ve made, an opinion that I’ve created of myself that isn’t real – because the reality of the situation is that I am here as a human-being in flesh – and that another is also a human being in the flesh – and that we’re thus on that level equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’ve something to loose in the interactions with another, that I’ve my stability, my self-worth, my self-respect to lose, that at any moment these aspects of myself might become attacked and nullified by the words, and behavior of and as a another – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a stance of defense, and holding back, believing that I am in this way protecting myself – not realizing that there is in-fact nothing to protect myself from – that I am merely protecting myself from my own fears and anxieties – and that what I’m experiencing isn’t really real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the fear that comes up within me when interacting with another, seeing someone that I’ve established a relationship with, that it isn’t real – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how the coping mechanisms I’ve established, as either moving in to socialize, or rejecting and not paying attention to the other person, are both equally flawed – because what is missing is my stability, my direction and self-trust in who I am – and living that value and recognition that I am a equal human being with equal value, equal worth and equal substance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when this fear arise within me, it indicates that there is a point of separation within me, where I’ve defined another as being a decisive element in the creation of who I am – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this is in-fact an idea, that it’s a lie to believe that someone can decide who I am, that someone has the power to define my existence, and my life, and my experience of myself – because in reality that power, direction and will lies within me – and it’s simply a aspect of myself that I’ve not yet been willing to embrace and fully stand within and live as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself as self-value – and practice living this point through when meeting someone that I’ve a relationship with, when walking past them, or discussing something with them, to stabilize myself here within and as my breathe, to breathe deeply and ground myself in my physical body – and then move myself to interact and live from this deep groundedness that exist within and as me – to place my self-trust in this deep stability that exist when I push myself through my emotions and feelings and place my attention unto that which is real – that which is physical – that which is verifiable and that I’m able to see and interact with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a fool out of myself in front of another, to fear that I’ll say or do something that is going to trigger contempt in another, wherein they see me as a useless piece of scenery in their life, that doesn’t hold any value or meaning – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my relationships, put up an act, where I try to make sure that I will not be seen as a fool, but that I will all the time be nice, and be good, and be comfortable, and easy going – so that everyone will think nicely of me – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is not an effective way to live – that in being constantly nice and trying to make sure that nobody dislikes me – I’m in-fact compromising myself

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to practice living stability in my relationships with others, to live self-value, and self-reliance in my relationships with others – where I will myself to ground myself in my physical body – to trust myself and speak, interact, and move myself from this deep groundedness within and as my human physical body

I commit myself to see and understand that being nice is not an effective way to go about creating my world, and that through being nice all the time I’m in-fact setting myself up for compromise, because I’m not considering myself, only what others might, or might not think about me – and thus I commit myself to instead of being nice – be stable – HERE within and as my physical – and practice expressing myself from this equality with others – that I am their equal and they are mine – and that we share this physical reality and world – and that neither of us is the superior one

When and as I see that I go into a anxiety as I interact with another, and I begin to change myself, and mold myself, to make a nice face, and a nice character, and be easy going, to make the other person like – I stop – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understanding that in living out this nice-character, I’m in-fact limiting myself, and sabotaging my life, and my relationships, where I will do things I don’t want to do, move myself in a direction I don’t want to go, agree with things I don’t want to agree with, only to make sure that I keep face and my value up – and thus I commit myself to establish within me that deep groundedness – that deep knowing of myself – that I will stand by me as self-worth and value – and that this point is unconditional