A fascinating point that I’ve more clearly begun to see during to last couple of days is that of how I accept and allow another’s words, actions and living effect my own words actions and living, and that this happens on a automatic basis, wherein I simply do not question or make a self-directed decision whether, or whether not I should live a particular point, or decide upon a particular point, I simply do it.
So, I mean, bringing this point back to it’s origin, I am able to see that the main problem I’m faced with is my tendency to follow energy, to follow experience, to follow the mind, instead of sticking with the physical, sticking with breath, sticking with slowing down, and considering all points here, and not accepting and allowing myself to make rash decisions based upon a experience. So, the point isn’t real about me becoming manipulated and moved by the words of another, it’s about me becoming moved and manipulated by my own mind – a energy comes up and then without question, without any form of standing aback to take a closer look at the point, I just go with it.
It’s definitely a form of impulsiveness, simply because I follow impulses, I follow what comes up within me as a experience, as a thought, as a energy, and I do not consider what is REAL, PHYSICAL, PRACTICAL, TANGIBLE – I mean I do not consider what is in-fact here.
It’s really fascinating – even more fascinating is how I can in moments believe that I am making a decision that is “good” for me, I am making a decision that is “effective” for me – but the reality is that what I am deciding upon is simply a energy, my decision has got nothing to do with what is in-fact real, and thus my decision is in essence compromised – because I’ve not looked at what is real, but I’ve only looked at what I experience.
So, it’s interesting, a good decision doesn’t necessarily feel good, I mean the obvious point to realize is that a good decision shouldn’t have any form of feeling or emotion attached to it, it should simply be a decision – I see this, I’ve considered this, I’ve looked at this, I decide – done. This form of decision-making is the only one that can be trusted, because it allows no room for energy – and the primary problem with energy is that in making decisions within a energy – you only consider the energy, the experience, how you feel – and within that important considerations are missed, important points are looked away from, and instead the focus becomes on the experience.
Here I see that the only solution is self-honesty – it’s to when one make a decision, to assess why is this decision made, is there a experience within me driving me, are there points I am not considering? Have everything been considered or am I moving myself within an energy, within an experience? The primary point being to QUESTION one’s decision – and not just accept anything that comes up within self as being real simply because it feels good, or bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in energy, in experience, in belief, wherein I look at how I feel, how I experience myself, whether I feel good or bad about the decision, whether I experience fear or a feeling towards the decision, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this way of making decisions is totally, and completely ineffective – wherein I am accepting and allowing myself to move from within and as a starting point energy, that in turn will have the effect that I compromise important points, I do not consider what is required to be considered, I just jump to conclusions and “go for it” – which obviously leads to me to make decisions that are simply not effective but rather consequential
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a “impulsive” nature – and see myself as impulsive, as making decisions fast and without really considering them, and seeing that as “who I am” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question who I am within and as myself, and to see, realize and understand that this point of being impulsive is in-fact programming, and that the consequence of being impulsive is that I make decisions that are ineffective, I make decisions that are not clear, I make decisions that are consequential, I make decisions that have an effect in my world that I could easily foreseen if I’d just slowed down and made a more substantial consideration of the point before I moved myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that going into energy, and feeling good about a decision means that the decision is good, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can’t trust what I feel – I can rely upon what I feel – and that in a making a decision what I must look at is the actual physical outflows, and that my effectiveness in foreseeing the consequences of my decision will only be as effective as my ability to research relevant information, and to analyze the relevant information, to look at how it moves, and to make predictions based upon probabilities and possibilities
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change my starting point in relation to decisions so that I make decisions that are effective in relation to what it is that I want to achieve, and realizing that all decisions must have a particular starting point else they will be hard to make – because it’s in establishing the starting point, as to what I want to achieve with the decision, that I will be able to look at my world and in reality and make a decision that will create the best possible environment for me to be able to walk through my decision into reality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as energy in relation to making decisions, wherein I make decisions based upon how I feel, be it fear, or be it feeling – not considering the consequences of my decisions, the outflows of my decisions, the actual and real part of my decisions which is how I influence my life, the life of others, how I influence life on a greater scale – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down before making decisions, to not slow myself down before participating in a particular point, to as such give myself the stability, and ability to make a decision as to who I am, and what I am – to make a decision as to whether I will participate or not – as to whether I will make a decision or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to become self-directed – meaning that I stand as the decision-maker in my life in every moment of breath, I decide who I am, I decide what I am, I decide when I am, I decide how I am – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as this decision maker within myself wherein I push myself to slow down, to consider all points, to consider myself, to look at the point and not just go with the flow, not just do what I feel, do what I experience, do what I want – but that I slow down and consider
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that impulsive decision-making have the consequence that I will create a life for myself wherein I have really no control, I have no actual insight and understanding into what it is that I am doing, I am just doing something, walking something, participating in something, without an actual sound starting point as seeing clearly what it is that I am doing; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here – and within this I accept and allow myself to slow down, to take that breath, to look inside myself, to look into myself, to question where it is that I am coming from, to question where it is that I am going, to not just accept what is coming up within me but to make sure that I am directive and stable within and as my decisions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions on a whim instead of realizing that in making decision on a whim I am not considering all relevant points, I am not considering and looking at points effectively, I am just making a decision on a whim because I feel like it – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the limited nature of feelings and emotions – and how in looking at and moving myself from a starting point of emotions as what I feel and experience the consequence is that I won’t in-fact be able to create a life for myself that is effective – all will be motivated by experience, all will be motivated by energy, and never will I’ve taken into account what is real and actual as the physical
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I make decisions, to assess decisions based on how I feel about them, to think, perceive, and believe that when I feel really good about a decision, then it means that it’s a good decisions, and to when I feel really fearful, or bad about a decision, this means it’s a bad decision; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can’t possibly evaluate the effectiveness of decisions upon the basis of how I feel about them, simply because I can’t trust what I feel about decisions, I can’t trust what I experience in relation to decisions, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to take the entire decision making process back to a physical level – wherein I look at the actual physical real time points that are involved within a decision – and then make an assessment as to what decision would be the best looking at the most effective outflows of each and every decision
When and as I see that I am about to make a rash decision, and when I see that I am about to move myself upon the basis of a feeling, or emotion, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t move myself from within and as this possession of energy because it will only create consequences, it will only create outflows as me creating a life for myself this is not effective because it’s not based upon an actual physical assessment of my situation; as such I commit myself to slow down when making decisions, and make sure that my decision is based on actual physical considerations and not upon any form or experience of energy
When and as I see that I am evaluating and looking at decisions from a basis of energy, wherein I value a decision either as positive, or as negative, depending on how I feel about it, and how I experience myself in relation to the point, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t trust my assessment of a decision when it’s done within energy, I mean the only valid point is to assess the actual physical practical outflows of a decision, the actual physical and practical implications of a decision – not the experience thereof; as such I commit myself to evaluate decisions whether they’re effective or not upon the basis of the physical effects and consequences of each decision – and not on the basis of how I feel to and towards the decision