Tag Archives: fears

Day 399: Directing Fear

Having a career can be pretty stressful. To me – the stress is primarily related to three aspects. One aspect is performance anxiety or in other words – the fear of making mistakes. The second aspect is the fear of not being successful. The third aspect is the responsibility that a position of influence/power entails. In my line of work – If or a moment take responsibility for important parts of someone else’s life – and hence – I can cause major consequences if I am not thorough and specific.

All three of these aspects are part of the anxiety I at times experience towards my work. And the fact is that I enjoy my work a lot – it fits my character and skill set perfectly. Thus – when I am able to let go of tensions and get into my happy-place – work is fun, challenging, stimulating and interesting. However – when I get caught in the mentioned fears – work becomes a weight on my shoulders. It is fascinating to see just how much perspective and my emotional participation in relation to a point in my world changes the way I experience that point. It is literally like two different worlds – even though it is the same kind of work.

My conclusion is that I have to let go of these three fears. And in this blog my aim is to design corrective solutions to each of these fears.

Fear of making mistakes

Finding a corrective statement to the fear of making mistakes is pretty easy to me. I already clearly see that unless you dare to make mistakes – you will not progress. Mistakes, failures, mishaps, difficulties, problems, that is fertile soil for growth, development, expansion and movement. If everything is just perfect all the time – we are either not sufficiently critical or – we do not challenge ourselves enough. Both are pretty bad. Thus – a healthy portion of mistakes is an indication that we are in a challenging position and that we have an opportunity to improve. Obviously though – making the same mistake 2-3 times might indicate something different – such as arrogance for example.

Thus – when I become anxious and worried that I am making, or I have made a mistake, I instead change into looking at how I am able to improve and expand. I look at what I can learn and become better at – and allow myself to be grateful that I have seen that there is something I have to practice and expand upon. And I dare myself to go for it – and understand that mistakes is a natural part of growth – and that what matters is that I learn from my mistakes and correct myself.

Fear of not being successful

The fear of not being successful is interesting. It is like the fear in itself hinders success – because what will that fear create? It will hesitation, doubt, worry, insecurity – characteristics that does not induce success. To be successful – I have to be bold. I move when see that there is an opportunity and do not hold myself back – and if failure strikes – no need to become emotional – I simply re-aim and yet again focus on what I want and where I want to get to.

Success requires me to be determined, patient and motivated – and I have to keep my focus on what I want to achieve. Each and every fear energy that comes up within me will only cause me to shift my attention and focus from what I want – to a pretty worthless experience that I simply do not need. And if I do not manage to reach success – well there is nothing to do about it. In all cases – I would not have achieved success if I was afraid of not achieving it. Hence – my corrective statement will be to go forward boldly – to move, act, walk, and direct – to grab the opportunities and keep the momentum – and keep in my vision the future I want to create.

Fear of responsibility

The fear of responsibility is an interesting one – because it is not necessarily the responsibility that I fear – it is rather what happens if I do not handle the responsibility in such a way that everyone involved are pleased. Thus – it is the fear of being the target of criticism later on. And not because I fear criticism from others – it is because I tend to judge myself harshly when I do not meet my own standards. Hence the real face of the fear is that of fearing my own judgment.

However – what I can see is that responsibility is a skill – it is something that I will learn, become more comfortable within, and get better at doing as I practice – and as is the case with so many other things – I will naturally fail sometimes as it is a part of the expansion. And it does not help anyone that I judge myself when I fail. I need to be able to stand and look at my mistakes objectively, learn from it and enhance my ability to take responsibility for the life’s of others – just as I must learn to expand this responsibility towards my own life.

Thus – what I will state to myself when this fear arises is that I am going to push myself to take responsibility – and I am going to learn from my mistakes and failures and expand. And I will stand and practice to stand as this responsibility naturally and comfortably – and understand that this is simply me extending my responsibility unto others. Hence – it is nothing to fear – nothing to judge – it is a learning process.

Conclusion

Fears are interesting – they always indicate a misalignment – a point where I have not sufficiently created and directed myself. Hence – fears are show us opportunities for expansion – where we exist in a state of being diminished and where we are able to go beyond our beliefs. It is problematic when we fear our fears – however easy to understand. Fear is an uncomfortable experience – and easily convinces us that something is TERRIBLY wrong. Though – if we would slow down, take a breath, and study the nature of the fear – there are definitely many gifts to be found.


Day 352: Self-Forgiveness On Fears In Relation To Superiors

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and anxiety towards people that are superior to me in the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards, and define having more money, and a higher position in the system as being more valuable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on having a high position in the system and believe that people that have a high position in the system are better than people that do not have a high position in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people that earn a lot of money are better and more valuable than people that do not earn a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a promotion means that you increase in value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a raise means that you increase in value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a job, and having a job, means that you are valuable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a job, and having a job, and working, means that you are needed, important, and have value, and a place in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being liked by people that have a lot of money and a high position in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being appreciated by people that have a lot of money and a high position in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged and defined as having no value by people in the system with a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel, that without money, and without a high position in the system, I am nothing, and a nobody

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up, to fear living, to fear expressing myself, to fear trusting myself, thinking that, in order to do that, I require to have a lot of money, I require to be someone in the system, I require to have a high position – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the system to grant me a high position, to grant me self-trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be given self-trust by people outside of me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that self-trust cannot be given, it is something that I must create, build, and bring through as myself, through how I live, how I participate, how I interact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for self-trust to come to me, through being granted influence and power by the system, instead of me giving myself, self-trust, through me deciding who I am in every moment of breath, through me pushing and willing myself to create myself, and thus, not wait, not postpone, not hope and wish that the system is going to grant me the position that I want, but that I give myself that position within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on the system to give me the courage to stand up and live my utmost potential – instead of me standing up within myself – and pushing myself to live and create myself as my utmost potential – pushing myself to trust myself and to live my life within and as self-trust and understanding – that nothing in this world will be able to give that to me – I must give it to myself

When and as I see myself going into fear towards my superiors, I stop myself, take a breath and bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into a state of inferiority, a state of disbelief, and a state of waiting for the system to lift me up before I do, and thus I commit myself to straighten my shoulders, look up, use breath to stabilize me physically here, and live words such as confidence, trust, and self-reliance, to push myself to express myself naturally in the moment

When and as I see myself shrinking, and trembling in fear, as a superior walk by me, or talk with me, I stop, I take a breath and bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that it is up to me to change my relationship with my world, with my life and the people in it, and that I am able to change myself, my life, and my relationship with people through living words, and thus I commit myself to in that moment embrace my EQUALITY with my superiors, to embrace my ONENESS, to embrace that I am here as a physical being, and thus of equal worth and value

Day 267: Work and Money Fears

What I have noticed is that the work environment is very much associated with fears and anxieties, because within this environment, you are valued, judged, and ranked on the basis of your actions or non-actions. Your livelihood is dependent upon these reactions being positive – and when they are not – for some reason or another – fear will arise.

In my work I recently had an evaluation with my employer – and some of the things that was said made me wonder about whether I am not making a good impression on my environment – and whether I am being disliked and whether people talk behind my back. Obviously, these are only assumptions, since nothing was said to me directly, so I will not focus my writings on that, but rather on the emotions that came up within me, because this backchat started to move in my mind: ‘What are others really thinking about me?’

The emotions that came up I would describe as being a deep seated, churning anxiety, mixed together with embarrassment, and inferiority – and also a fear of the future. These experiences were mixed together in what felt like a ball rooted deep down in my chest/solar plexus area. My response to this experience was to start to think out ways in which I am able to ameliorate this damage that I perceived has already been done in my life. I began to make up various decisions, and directions that I could take, that would have people like me more – all of these ‘solutions’ obviously not valid – because what is the actual problem here? The problem is that I am reacting, and basically, that I am existing in a state of self-preservation and fear, instead of self-expression, and stability, and awareness of myself as life in every moment of breath – because that is what should be me directive principle, and what I stand by in every moment.

Hence, I find it cool that this point opened up. In a way it is similar to school, and how we during this time in our life‘s are very worried about what others think about us, who is popular and who isn’t – and what happens? No or very little focus is placed on actually studying. Same thing happens in the job environment – so much focus is placed on being liked, on fitting in, on doing a good job ‘for others’ – that no or little time is spent on actually doing, developing and progressing within one’s work.

What I see as a solution is to see, realize and understand, that what is most important is that I am satisfied in the work that I produce, that I push myself to be a effective, working cog in the machinery that is the organization for which I work. The focus must be on serving and standing one and equal with the group of people that make up the work environment, because there are a lot of people relying on the services, and products of this particular organization. The focus must be on me remaining self-honest, and placing my focus on what is actually important – and what is important is to be a supportive, reliable, and trustworthy colleague, that not only contributes to the organization, but that goes the extra mile to make work and the products produced extraordinary – a colleague that actually cares.

When the focus is to please others, to be liked, appreciated, and feel good, can there then be any genuine passion, care and devotion to ones work/labor? No – it will all be done to please others, and in this self-expression will vanish, and what will be left is a empty shell – someone that acts as if he cares, but it is all for show.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a reaction of fear and anxiety when I believe that others might dislike me, and not want me around them, because they do not see and perceive me as being a particularly good worker, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted nad allowed myself to make my focus to be about others, instead of me remaining here with and as my human physical body, and me remembering WHO I AM – and WHERE I AM GOING – and what it is that I am doing here – where it is obvious that I am not here to be liked and to please others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my priority when it comes to work, and labor is to become liked by others, and to be appreciated by others, and to have a cool, and comfortable experience with others, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that when I am at work, my priority is not to please, but to in self-honesty, walk and create the best work that I can produce – because I see that this is my responsibility and what my purpose within work in-fact is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become worried, and fearful that I am not living up to the expectations of others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume, and try to create the idea of what expectations others might have upon me, and within this also believe that my security in life is dependent upon others liking me, and me living up to their expectations, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that my focus should instead be HERE – me standing clear within myself and performing my work because I see that this is what is best for all – that I stand as an example for others as well in terms of what it means to care for – and really, genuinely, do ones work with pride and integrity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with work, where my relationship is defined within the emotions of fear, worry, and anxiety, and the purpose within my work is self-preservation, and self-interest – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can change this relationship to work, and also within this understand that what is important to direct in my work environment, is my responsibilities and commitments within my work, and not being liked and having others react positively to my presence and awareness – and thus I commit myself to make work something that exists within me as a responsibility, as a commitment, as something that I walk and express for and as myself – where I work according to my self-honesty with the purpose to create and produce the best work possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that work as been corrupted in the mind of humans to be about self-preservation, self-interest, and desire, when it could instead be genuine self-expression, when work could become that point in each human beings life, where we strive to perfect ourselves, our expression and live our fullest potential – and thus I commit myself to redefine work – to see that work can become that point in my life where I push myself to excel and become the best that I can be – where I push myself to become effective and an example as to what it means to live with integrity and truly care, and be passionate about the work one produce and create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow my main priority in life to be what others think about, I miss the fact that there is a lot more important things to be aware of, to tend to, and to make part of my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that one of these things that are so very important, is for me to express myself, and to actually care for others, and give to others as I’d like to receive – I mean – isn’t that a far more important thing to focus on than what others think about me? And thus I commit myself to realize that what others think about me is pointless – because what matters is WHO I AM in-fact – and that only I know – and thus I commit myself to live the best version of myself possible – and to develop actual genuine care towards other human beings – and real genuine integrity and passion to give – so that I can stand as an example of what it means to make work someone more than only being about money, self-preservation and self-interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution to fear is living care, and giving as I’d like to receive – to not anymore place all focus on ME, and what I want, and what I have, but to see that there is a lot more to life than ME – and thus place my focus on others – to open myself up and expand myself to take others into consideration – and to care for others as I would for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution to fear is caring for other others and more than only myself, and my life – and thus I commit myself to expand my sphere of care and include others in my world – and be/act/live towards/with them as I would for myself – and thus I commit myself to practice in my daily living – implementing and living care/consideration/giving

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into fear and anxiety in relation to work, in relation to what others think of me, and value me, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that the solution to transcending this fear is to start caring, considering, and giving to others as I would for myself – that the solution is to expand my sphere of consideration to include others as equals to me – and thus I commit myself to practice having others within me – and when I make decisions, when I live and move myself throughout my day – to have in my heart – all other participants and members of life – and thus not live but for me – but for all

When and as I see myself going into fear, and embarrassment, because I perceive and think that I am not being liked around others, and that I give off a strange, and uncomfortable vibe, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that fear is a product of self-interest, and thus I can change this through turning my attention to how I can assist and support others and be of a genuine service to others – and thus I commit myself to take this into my awareness in my daily living – asking myself – how can I be off service to life – and assist and support others to stand up and live as their fullest potential

Day 200: The Principle of What is Best For All

In my Declaration of Principle I’ve set out to Live by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all – In this blog I will expound on this point.

Living the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed is easy to say – though it’s a very tough point to actually and physically apply. I’ve seen this in particular with regards to how I think about my career, survival and money – there is such a inherent tendency in me to just consider myself – to just care about me – that it takes real willpower to step out of that fear-based mentality and start to consider that there is more to this life and world than me.

It is fascinating how normalized our fear of survival have become – most of us don’t even question the ludicrousness of how we in our individual capacity lead our lives to create some form of personal comfort and safety – an income, a family and a home – yet in a world that is severely dysfunctional our drive for individual survival is walked in vain – and if you look at the state of this world in terms of natural resources and environmental destruction – things are only becoming worse. Thus – the solution to create a really effective life, not only for ourselves, but for all, is to make sure that in our decisions, in our personal lives, in our dreams, our goals, our visions, we take in consideration this world and humanity as a whole – and we base our decisions and what we see is best for all.

I know by experience that this is very hard to do, and when the point is walked all kinds of fears and anxieties will show up – there is this extensive fear of loosing ourselves if we don’t make sure that our life is solely lived to please our own desires and interests – and in some cases our families survival and interests – though in order to actually create a life that is worth living this is what we must step into. We must become real and living activists – day-to-day activists that make a stand in the small – that make a stand not only through giving money now and then to some NGO – but that we make our entire lives a monument of self-change – and walk that change into this world.

Thus – the way I’ve practically applied this principle is for example in relation to career: Here I’ve not looked at ‘Where I’ll be the happiest’ – I’ve instead looked at where I’ll be able to have a significant impact – where I’ll be able to actually do something that will bring through that vision I’ve of a world that is best for all – where humanity stands together. In this I’ve experienced a lot of anxiety and fear – because making this decision have forced me to step out of me normal survivalist decision mentality – to instead begin considering and seeing the whole picture – and this is a funny dichotomy: That we’ll actually only be able to make this world more safe and enjoyable when we give our lives to support the best interest of all – because only then will we remove that constant threat and pressure currently existing which takes the shape of our money system – and the relentless demands of our bank accounts to continue striving – continue surviving and continue walking. That goes to show how our fears can’t be trusted in anyway whatsoever – because they don’t give us the whole picture.

Obviously there is another way to live – and the first step we must take to get there is to start implementing this new mentality of living for ALL into our day-to-day lives – because fascinatingly enough – it’s there that real change takes place – in the individual human being – in the moment – in the small situations that then accumulate and build – and consequently influence the direction of the world as a whole. For a moment – forget about the big world change – the massive revolution – or the all encompassing shift in consciousness: LIFE will emerge in the individual – in the person – and it will then flow from there – our first priority must because of that be ourselves – and that we make sure we stand, live and walk our lives equal to our fullest potential.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving my life to what is best for all – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus and direct my life in the attempt and try to ensure personal survival for myself – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how personal survival is not a solution – how personal survival is not the way to go – and is not what will create an actual relief and release in this world – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not focus my attention and living upon creating solutions that will work – and be functional for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not living only for myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist taking others into consideration – and in my decisions, in my dreams, visions and goals, take into account the life of everyone – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become limited in fear – not seeing, realizing and understand that the solution for a world with no fear – exists within and as this point of actually giving my life for the life of all – and making sure that my priority is to create what is best for all – and everyone – because that will in turn make my life easier

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my limited mentality of ME, ME, ME – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear transforming and changing this mentality to the WE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s actually quite an easy process to walk – and what I have to do is simply to take that incessant care I’ve had for myself – and apply it for everyone – to realize that I can make that shift within myself wherein I align my thinking, my actions, and my words to be for everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I lead and create my life from this starting point – suddenly everything becomes many times more simple and easy – because suddenly there is no fear – there is just the drive and movement towards creating a life that is honorable and dignified for all human beings – for all animals – and for all life – and thus I commit myself to walk my life from this starting point of WE

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to when I go into fear, stress or worry about my own life – to in that moment stop – and bring myself back here – and re-align my priorities – re-align how I walk and direct myself – to stop caring but for me – but to expand this care and consideration to everyone – and here I commit myself to begin practicing in the small – wherein I practice this point of care and consideration with those closest to me

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that fear exists only because I am narcissistic in that I am only caring about myself – my own future – my own life – my own dreams – and my own hopes – and thus I commit myself to stop this self-masturbation and instead start opening myself up to this world – and to humanity – and birth that principle within me of actual care and consideration – of actually living for all and not but for myself – and bringing that through in thought, word and deed

I commit myself that align my thought, word and deed to be what is best for all – and make that the priority and the starting point for my decisions – for my movement – for what I do in this world