Tag Archives: flexible

Day 388: Is It Possible To Be Too Ambitious?

Since becoming a father, one of the ways in which my life has radically changed has been that I have a lot less time at my disposal. On a usual weekday, I am able to get home from work, deal with my responsibilities, and then there might be an hour left for me to do with as I decide. Naturally the weekends has come to represent the ‘time’ when I get to really have time for my projects and more time consuming responsibilities. Because of this the weekends are usually packed with things that I have planned that I am going to do. Unfortunately, because I have planned SO many things during the weekend, my schedule tends to become too ambitious. The consequences thereof is that I haste through my tasks, that I become frustrated when things take longer than what I initially planned, and that I become stressed when I see the clock moving forward with unbreakable determination.

I discussed this with my partner, and she brought up the point that I might be too ambitious with my activities/projects/things I desire to be done during the weekdays and weekends and that this then causes me to become/live in a state of stress pressure – and where my responsibilities become burdens/shackles – and not something that I am doing/taking part of as an expression of myself. I can see that she has a point. Instead of realigning my plans when things get too tight, I try to squeeze everything in there through forcing myself to move faster, think faster, do things faster. Hence, from my perspective, I can benefit from approaching this point in a wholly different way – and some of the alignments that I see I have to do is to be less ambitious with my planning – and also – to practice becoming more flexible and easy-going when I see that my plans will not hold up – and that there is a lack of time.

Thus, two words comes up for me that I want to look at/redefine/live in my life to solve this problem of mine: Realistic and Flexible.

Redefining words

Realistic

What is interesting about the word realistic is that, from my perspective, it should be natural to be realistic, considering that we have grown up in a world, that is realistic, and that we are continuously throughout our days faced with a REAL reality. Hence, the reason why I have had difficulty to be realistic is because I have obscured my clarity with feelings and emotions, in this case, particularly hope and fear. Fear being the central point of motivation, where I fear not getting done certain things, and then hope, as the energy that I use to suppress my fear and fool myself that I am able to do and get to more things than what I am actually able to handle.

To live realistic practically would thus be to FORGIVE and LET GO of my fears, and then to proceed making decisions about my day without hope. Instead, I will practice myself to see my reality for what it is – simply for what it is – nothing more than – nothing less than – instead PHYSICAL reality – what is ACTUALLY here for real.

Flexible

Flexible, being able to change direction, change plans, change mindset on the go. This is important, because when something is not working, when there is in-fact to little time for me to walk through an ambitious schedule, that is when it is important to notice this, and allow myself to change direction. Hence to live flexibility with regards to this point would be the ability to act in the moment and dare to change and veer of path when I see that this is the best direction to go.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on too much, to be too ambitious, to try to do too much, and because of that, stretch myself thin, and become stressed and worried, because suddenly, I am not anymore in control, and what seemed to be so simple and easy to get done in my mind, is not as simple and easy in real life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a ‘minor value complex’ – where I believe that the way I prove my value and worth is by making sure that I can recognition from others because of how many things that I am able to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to establish my value in life by actions and by showing how good I am at what I am doing – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pressure myself to do too much – and to because of that – become locked into a trapped in a state of fear and anxiety – because no matter how much I try to do – there is always more to be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn how to relax and settle down and be realistic and easy going with my demands, with my schedules and plans for what I am going to do and achieve with the time I have at my disposal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be flexible and realistic when it comes to what I have to do, the time at my disposal, and what I am able to get done without placing undue strain on myself – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – to bring myself back here – and make sure that I am realistic, calm and flexible, so that I can approach responsibilities and projects with stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan for too much, and then become stressed and anxious when my plans do not match my reality – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in my tendency of planning for, and doing too much, not remaining practical and grounded with my plans, and seeing what could work, and also, not placing any value into how much I get done, but instead doing as much as I am able to in any given moment, and not defining myself as less than or more than depending upon how much I am able to achieve

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create too much to do in my mind from a starting point of fear of not getting enough/sufficient with things done – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and contain myself into and as a state of stress/anxiety/wanting to get things done – and constantly strive to get more things done – because constantly feel that I am not doing enough things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be realistic/practical/common sensical when I make plans/decisions as to what I am going to do throughout my day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be realistic/specific and use my experience as to how much time a certain point takes to bring through and complete when I make plans – and then if I notice that I have more or less time – to be flexible and change my plans according to what is required

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relax, to take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out, when I make plans and look at how to arrange my day – to make sure that I am not driven by an anxiety or fear – but that I am moving myself within and as common sense – that I am walking and pushing myself from within and as a starting point of stability – and that I do not try to within stress/haste – grab any opportunity to make things work out because I fear the consequences if I do not

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself making plans or looking at how I am going to arrange my day from within and as a starting point of fear/stress/anxiety – I take a breath – I bring myself back here and I see, realize and understand that in making plans from this experience, I am going to make unrealistic plans, I am going to make plans that I will then hurry, fight, and be anxious/worried about completing, because there simply is not enough time to complete them within, and hence I commit myself to practice being realistic and specific when making plans – to be stable when I do them – to thus also understand that at times I will to be less ambitious with certain points – at other times I will to prioritize and not do other things – that I must weigh and consider what is most important and then learn to make a decision


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Day 191: A New Way of Doing Things

Recently I’ve been working with a state of fear that I go into quite often – most of the times I will enter into it in the morning – and then not be able to get out of it until nighttime. This is most definitely one of those points that I see I must change – and that I want to change – but that I’ve not been able to push through – and within that get to a conclusion and condition of real lasting change and transformation.

Though – today as I listened to interview called: “Insecurity: Quantum Levels – Atlanteans – Part 253” – I came to understand that one of the reasons as to why this point has felt so difficult and overbearing is because of how I’ve approached. Before I’ve immediately as the fear came up within me gone into a ‘breath through the experience’-application – wherein I’ve then pushed and willed myself to remain with my breath to get through the energy – but this have tended to exacerbate the fear-experience and placed me even further into a state of physical discomfort and energetic possession.

So, when I today listened to this interview, I realized what I’d been doing and why it’s been difficult – because in my application of ‘pushing through’ I’ve actually feed the experience through giving it attention – and by reacting to the experience as it being difficult and overbearing – thus making it bigger and more than it actually is.

I now see that I’ve to take a different approach to this reaction – and not proceed towards the experience in a state of ‘fight’ and ‘push’ mode – instead I have to be more gentle – and when I go into this point – rather place my focus and attention on what I am doing here – and let the experience come up and release – thus I will not anymore go into this state of ‘having to fix and direct’ the experience – but rather see it come up within me – then shift my attention to what I am doing HERE physically and not make the fear my focal point – rather I place the emphasis on what I’m involved with here – what project I am currently walking – what there is I must take into account in directing my physical world here – and so on.

What can be learned from this is thus that ‘pushing hard’ isn’t necessarily the solution to everything that comes up within – sometimes another type and form application is required to bring about change – it’s thus important to remain open and look for different solutions and ways of going directing one’s inner world – so that one doesn’t get stuck in this one type and form of hard-ass pushing forward application – because that will not produce effective results.

Day 133: Annoyance = Lack of Understanding

Today I reacted in irritation to a statement that was done by another – and the statement was something like this: ‘My only concern is the well-being of others’. When the statement spoken I had a judgment come up within me; I felt that this person wasn’t taking all points into consideration, and that they were being childish, and immature for only considering this one single point in their decision-making – while I am of the opinion that one should consider all points and not only the well-being of others.

If I bring this back to myself, and ask myself, why did I react to this particular statement? I see that it’s because of blame, and me perceiving myself to be effected by this person’s way of viewing things, wherein in essence, I want that person to have the same considerations and values as me.

I can also see that there is within this reaction a tinge of powerlessness, as well as arrogance. I see myself as powerless, because apparently the other persons statement controls me, and there is nothing I that I am able to do in order to direct my life according to my values, and considerations – and I see that I am arrogant because I consider their considerations and way of seeing things as being less than mine – while in reality – their concern do contain a valid point – it’s common sense that one should consider how decisions affect everyone – and a decision shouldn’t be made only from within and as what it is that oneself wants, desires, and feel is important.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the statement of another ‘My only concern is the well-being of others’ as being childish, immature, and stupid, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, and frustrated in thinking that this statement is controlling me, and that this person should have a wider array of considerations when making a decision and not only concern for others, but also concern for self, concern for money, concern for future outflows – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient, and angry, because this other person doesn’t have the same understanding as I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed when and as I perceive that another person doesn’t have the same understanding, the same principles, and the same guidelines for living as I do, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want them to immediately change, and align themselves with my understanding, and my perspective, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to without hesitation, or consideration, disregard their particular way of viewing things, and sticking to my way of seeing – without asking myself whether this person in-fact have a valid point in what they are saying

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, annoyed, irritated and frustrated when and as I perceive that another is making decisions upon the basis of reactions, and experiences of worry, anxiety, and guilt, and wanting to protect and defend others, even if that compromise one’s own life – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed because I can’t understand how it is that another is going about making decisions, and considering points, and looking at points, and I feel that I am powerless to do anything about changing the situation, because I do not understand how the situation have developed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed when and as another makes a statement that they make decisions only on the basis of caring for the well-being of others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge such a decision, and the person making that decision as being stupid, thinking that they should be considering so much more, and not only whether, or whether not others are taken care of, and have their life to be as good as they want it to be, because from my perspective, I think that sometimes such well-being of others must be compromised, in order to assure access to other points that are simply more relevant to life and living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this other person have a different history, and have lived a different life to me, and that they have been raised differently, and that they have as such a completely different outlook on life than what I have, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not research, and to not investigate this other person, and understand why they are making such a statement, where they are coming from, and then within this looking at a solution to direct the point that will be effective for both me and this other person, so that all points can be taken into consideration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will go into and as annoyance towards another, when and as I do not understand this other person – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself to time, and patience, to look at the entire context, to look at this other person, to look at their statement, to ask myself – where does it come from? Is it practical, and can it be realized? Will it be an inconvenience in my life, or will it be simple to realize, and fulfill such a statement? Can I somehow direct the point? And as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the short-cut into annoyance, instead of walking a process of getting to know and understand how it is that another person operates, and how it is that another person makes decision, and moves themselves in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed, when and as I perceive that another person is sacrificing themselves in order to make others happy, and that they can’t see how they are compromising themselves, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another, instead of accepting and allowing myself to take the time to understand another, and see where they are coming from, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal and one to the various programs, and patterns that exists within and as human beings in this world, and in this accept and allow myself to investigate, to research, to get to know, to explore, and discover, and understand the programming’s of others, and as such not anymore accept and allow myself to react in anger, and frustration, but rather direct myself to understand, and then apply myself to communicate and practically direct the particular into a solution that is best for all parties involved

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not speak, and communicate with this particular person about this statement, and about this way of considering, and looking at points, to as such support myself to understand this other person, as well as ask this person why he, or she isn’t expanding their views, and the scope and ambit of their considerations, and plans for the future, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the short-cut of reacting, and becoming impatient, instead of accepting and allowing myself to walk a physical process of discovery and expansion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that my way of looking at things, my way of understanding things, my way of considering things, my way of comprehending things, that is the correct way, and within that think that other considerations but these are invalid and must be wrong, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically and reflexively judge, push away, and remove any such form of difference from my own comfort-zone – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be open and vulnerable to new information, new considerations, new perspectives, and as such accept and allow myself to be flexible – and consider all new points that opens up in my world unconditionally – and not with a knee-jerk movement – immediately judging them as invalid

Self-commitments

When and as I see, realize and understand that I am becoming annoyed with another, because I perceive that they are not taking into account points that are obvious to me, when making a decision, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am becoming annoyed because I don’t have sufficient with information about the point, and that I do not understand this other person, their motives and rationale, and as such I commit myself to be patient – take a breath – and allow myself to understand this other person – to look at why and how it is that they are saying as they are saying – and to even ask them – why is it that they consider the point as they do – and ask them why it is that they don’t consider the points that I consider – to as such clarify – and not accept and allow myself to react

When and as I see that I am reacting to a statement from another, wherein they say that they only consider the well-being of others, and I in that feel that they are limiting themselves, and making their decision making process inferior to what it could be, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am reacting in annoyance, because I am not clear on what is going on, I lack information, I lack insight, and I lack directly seeing how and what another is saying, and where it is coming from, and as such I commit myself to expand my view of the world, and my understanding of others, to be open to new information, new perspectives, and new insights, and to look at all points, and not shun, or fight anything just because I do not immediately understand it; and as such I commit myself to take a breath – bring myself back here – and look at the point without any preconceived notions of what is right and wrong – and as such ask myself unconditionally – what is the most effective way of looking at this point, and dealing with this point?

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