Tag Archives: forgetting

Day 377: Forgetting What Is Important

Having money, having security and routine, having a meaningful job, it can create the illusion that everything is alright. When that happens it is easy to loose touch with what is of real importance. Life starts to circle around entertainment, various ways and methods to find enjoyment, and what is forgotten, is that there is a lot needed to be done in this world in order to create harmony, money, security, routine and meaning for everyone. I would say that this is one of the primary problems in the world and a reason as to why this world has not changed for the better. When we achieve a comfortable and stable position in the system, it is easy to forget the struggles and hardships that exist when there is no stability, no job, no money and no opportunities.

If all of us only place attention and focus unto building our own life’s without consideration and regard for the whole, that is going to have an negative impact on a global/existential level, and eventually that will also impact our personal life’s. That is how issues and problems in society breed. Only a select few takes time away from their own personal agendas to investigate how they are able support and give back on a level that extends beyond their own desires and wants. And I can understand why. To give up personal desires and wants is difficult. What makes it even more difficult is that the work done for a greater cause is seldom recognized or appreciated. Thus the drive and passion must come from within. It cannot be dependent upon external recognition and gratification. Because if we rely on the external reality to give us the necessary support and drive – eventually the decision will fade away and be forgotten.

And I do not want to make it sound as if the only way to contribute for me or anyone else is to quit our jobs, join a volunteer organization and move to a foreign country. Even though that might be a solution for some of us, it is not for everyone, and I know it is not something for me. What I have found is the contribution is something that can be made in the small, in that which we usually take for granted. Primarily, we have the opportunity to support ourselves to let go of all the bullshit that we know compromises us. By walking a personal process of change/transformation in our everyday life – we can bring through our genuine expression – and make our life something meaningful – and impact others around us by standing as an example of what is possible.

It is all about our starting point. Either our life can flow into a direction where we live to entertain ourselves, or we can live with principles and a purpose. Principle and purpose in the sense that we actively make decisions that we know will support the creation of a better world for ourselves and everyone else. We give up one lifetime of searching for entertainment and fulfillment to manifest a change that goes deep and extends far as within as without – that can ripple through existence and create waves of movement. And that is first and foremost done by who we are in the small, the apparently insignificant – our everyday decisions and choices. Who we are when we interact with our family, who we are when we interact with our colleagues, how we look at things, how we approach and proceed to create, how we form and maintain relationships – the devil is in the details. And the real cause of problems has and will always be our tendency to limit ourselves and live but a inkling of our real potential – our real expression.

It is fascinating to see how little attention we pay to the real issues in this world compared to how much effort, attention, time and money we place on things that are but entertainment. A timely example is the World Cup in Soccer. It is a enormous event and it generates billions in profit, it is prepared in in detail, and soccer players from all over the world train for months to be ready for match day. Does that not show us our potential to create? Yet – take a look at the real problems, like starvation, lack of medical care, lack of money and jobs, how come the same attention, drive and focus are not placed on these issues? It is because giving yourself to solving a real physical issue has no feeling-reward – it is not entertaining at all – rather it is boring, tedious, difficult, met with resistant and disbelief – it is not fun at all.

Do we really need entertainment to move ourselves forward? Do we really need a carrot on a stick to make a decision as to where we want to go and what we want to do? I say no – it is not necessary to have a stimuli. We can make a decision to move and then we move – that is enough – we do not need more. When we realize that and start to live this on a bigger scale – that is when things will start to happen.


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Day 275: Paranoia – The Fear of Forgetting Things

forgetting-thingsParanoia when it comes to forgetting and missing things, that is a point that has been recurring for me recently. In my line of work, it is all about the details, and here I am not exaggerating – it is ALL about the details. Hence it is different from ‘normal’ life in the sense that, when in your normal day-to-day living, you do not necessarily have to be very focused, specific or thorough. You can get by in a state of half-awareness; do things sloppily, and half-assed – your life will still work out quite okay.

However, in my line of work, you cannot do that. This has thus been a big change for me. The way I have handled this is through paranoia, were I have basically utilized fear/anxiety to drive me to constantly check if I have forgotten something. This is not effective for several reasons, though primarily; it is not effective because I go into a emotional state, thus investing energy in being emotional, forgetting my physical living/application HERE. And also, existing in a state of paranoia makes me mentally unstable, were I am not effective/specific when it comes to directing my life, and making decisions – because what takes precedence is the experience – not my actual physical movement and participation HERE.

I have looked at solutions and found that to support myself to become more thorough, detailed and specific, and not miss details that must be remembered, I am able to: 1) Establish systems and routines for certain points in my work 2) Use stickers, notes and a calendar to keep track of times and what must be done at what time 3) Be FULLY HERE, AWARE and FOCUSED when I apply myself in my job, so that I am certain that I actually walked all the points required.

Another aspect of this paranoia is that it only comes up in relation to work/career. Fact is that I am not particularly good at remembering things, being specific, thorough and detailed outside of the office, however, because there is no money at stake in my leisure time, I do not care as much. Thus, this shows me that the real, underlying core fear is that of survival and money. I fear losing money, I fear not being able to survive, and that is the driving force. This is also interesting, that I require having money, and a fear of survival to drive me to develop skills such as thoroughness, being specific and detailed.

Another aspect of having fear of survival and money as my current motivation is that I do not approach my work in a supportive manner – because if would be no fear, what come through is a curiosity, and a desire to expand and learn – a desire to become more effective at what I am doing. Then there is no fear involved, instead it is a genuine interest to empower myself and become the best that I can be that drives me forward – and that is obviously a far more potent and healthy source of motivation than fear and stress. When I motivate myself because I want to improve, then there is no fear or anxiety that preoccupies me, instead I am clear, physical, stable – moving myself in every breath to become the best that I can be.

Hence, it is clear, that this paranoia, and fear is something that I can replace with a genuine drive and care to improve and expand myself – both in my work and home environment.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change my starting point in relation to work, so that instead of being fear driven, I drive myself forward from within and as the desire to improve myself, to become better and more effective, to enhance myself, and to empower myself in learning more skills and abilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not establish systems and routines to make sure that I do not forget anything when it comes to preparing myself and working through my responsibilities and commitments in relation to work and home life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand – that paranoia is a outflow consequence of me not being present – directive and aware – and certain in what I am doing – and that there as such is room for me to improve – so that I become thorough and specific in all and everything that I take on and walk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that all reactions of the mind have their gifts – that there is something that I can learn and take with me to expand and empower myself – and with paranoia and this process in my work – it is that I can learn to be more specific, thorough and focused – and create these skills within me – and learn how to be prepared and certain on who I am in relation to the points in my life that I have taken responsibility for

Self-commitment statements

When and as I notice myself wanting to go into a state of fear/paranoia, that I have forgotten or missed something, I take a breath, I stop, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that these experiences cannot help me in my line of work, that I will not empower myself through giving into these experiences, and that instead, I can only empower and truly create myself through physically living, and building myself as words – and thus I commit myself to live specificity within me – through double checking the informationseeing whether I have forgotten anything – and then let it go if I reach the conclusion that no I haven’t forgotten anything

I commit myself to practice using routines and systems to make sure that I do not jump a step in my work – and that I walk all the necessary steps required in relation to my work responsibilities

I commit myself to practice being thorough and slowing myself down when working with my responsibilities – to make sure that I do not miss a step

I commit myself to have my starting point and motivation be that of me wanting to expand and improve myself and become the best that I can be in relation to my work – and thus I commit myself to stop fear and instead use my desire to improve and grow as the WHY of my movement forward