Tag Archives: frustrated

Day 262: Finding a Solution

a puzzle piece made of grassWhen I turn on the television and look at the conventional newscasts that are aired every night, most often what will be shared is problems. There are problems with schools, problems with politicians, problems with money, problems with crime, problems with jobs, problems with immigrants. Seemingly millions of problems, yet, what is very, very rare is the sharing of a solution. Why is that?

To answer this question, let us take a look at our own lives, and how we approach difficulties, issues, conflicts, and other tough points that arise in our day-to-day living. Because where is our focus? We look at the problem – and over, and over again we regurgitate in our minds how big our problems are. And what we many times miss is to actively look for the SOLUTIONS. So, in this blog I am going to share a practical living application that has assisted and supported me to be more immediate, and direct when it comes to handling problems that open up in my world – and walk them into a SOLUTION.

I will share a short story from my own life that will serve as an example of this practical application: I am at the moment building an expansion to my mother’s farmhouse. The plan is that my partner and I are going to live here, and share the spacious farm environment together with my mother. It is really a fun process to be part off. Though, when it comes to building, and acquiring a house like this, it requires a lot of capital, and because of this my partner and I have had to take on a loan. And today is I was looking at the building site, and the development of the expansion, a anxiety come up from within, and it went like this: “Oh, we are taking on so much debt to be able to do this! Shit! I could have decided to live more cheaply! Man, now I will be stuck with this for a long time!”

When that thought, and energy came up within me, initially I went into it. Then I applied self-forgiveness, and instead of continuing to exist in a state of worry/anxiety I began to look at a SOLUTION. Hence, I asked myself, what is the solution to this problem I am facing? And I realized that, instead of worrying about what this project costs, I can appreciate the fact that I do have the opportunity to do something like this in my life, and really involve myself in the construction of my future abode. And instead of looking at the debt as a point of pressure, see that me taking on this debt does allow me to walk, and experience a cool process of creation together with my partner. Thus I am in an optimum position to actually create, and be part of building the future of my life from the ground up, because an important part of my future will be my house, where I am going to live.

When I realized this, I could see that it was up to me to define WHO I AM in relation to this project that I have committed myself to walk. And I understood that I must make the decision, and unless I do that, my circumstances will do it for me. But do I want to walk through my life and feel pressured just because I have debt? No – I want to be able to live, and appreciate the environment and the life I am creating for myself. Hence the solution to my problem is to live this appreciation, this enjoyment, and push myself to explore and participate in this adventure that is unfolding day by day.

This is thus an example of the practical application of how we are able find SOLUTIONS to the inner conflicts we face. I have practiced the point of immediately as a reaction comes up within me, apply a self-forgiveness statement, and then look for, and live a solution. It is not as easy as it sounds, but developing such a skill is priceless – and really – it is what we as humanity needs to create. We are too much in love with our problems and it is not good for us – thus as a rule of thumb – I suggest that we place the focus in our minds 90 % on solutions, and only 10 % on finding and gauging problems.

Day 135: Withdrawal Symptoms

Some days ago I quit smoking and today I’ve been experiencing some withdrawal symptoms, which have taken the form of irritations, and frustrations coming up within me.

One particular instance of frustration that I recall from my day occurred as I was driving, and I was about to enter the highway. Upon entering the highway it’s regulated that you should speed up hastily on the approach in order to be ready to enter to traffic flow on the highway. Though, today as I was preparing myself for this speed increase, it just so happened that there was this severely slow car before me. It drove at least half the speed of the normal speed cars tend to have, and in that moment I got annoyed.

I imagined that there was probably some old person driving the car before me, and I thought that immediately as I got up on the highway, I was going to race ahead of this car, and leave behind me.

Looking at this pattern, I am able to see that I got frustrated because this car was disturbing my plans and projections, as how I’d imagined myself, hastily, and effectively driving on the approach and enter the highway. When this didn’t happen, but that it was instead a very slow acceleration, I got irritated, because my projection wasn’t satisfied.

Though, I am able to see that this irritation I experienced wasn’t only in relation to this car – rather it’s more about the fact that I am quitting cigarettes, and I experience this as a loss, and as if a rite that have served to stabilize me, have unjustly been removed from me, making my life ‘just hell’ – thus the problem I see that I require to work with today, is that I am reacting to the physical withdrawal symptoms such as feeling fidgety.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, annoyed, and irritated when and as I stop smoking, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am at a loss, and that a big and important part of my life have been removed from me, when I am now not anymore allowed to have access to cigarettes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally, and interpret the physical withdrawal symptoms of my body as anger, irritation, and frustration, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotions when and as I stop smoking, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the process of removing smoking, is the process of re-directing the body, and changing physical habits, and routines, and that it involves a little pain, yet it doesn’t have to be in anyway emotional

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed, and demotivated, when and as I look at my night, because I don’t have access to smoking, and I feel that there is no drug that is able to saturate and satisfy my demand for relaxation, enjoyment, and comfort, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my access to relaxation, enjoyment and comfort to be in relation to smoking, thinking, perceiving and believing that I require, and must have access to smoking, and nicotine, in order to be calm, relaxed, and at ease with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally to the physical withdrawal symptoms of stopping smoking, becoming agitated that I don’t experience myself as being physical calm, and at ease – and begin to look for someone, or something to blame for my physical experience – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will have this physical experience of discomfort, but that it’s simply withdrawal symptoms, and nothing more, and that I do not have to create in anyway, a pattern, or experience towards these withdrawal symptoms, but that I am rather able to use breath, and my physical body, to support myself, and walk through the symptoms in stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assist, and support myself to walk through the physical withdrawal symptoms, through drinking water, through accepting and allowing myself to go out and walk, and move my body, and be active – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become agitated that I experience withdrawal symptoms, and want that there shouldn’t be any such symptoms within me, but that I should rather be able to walk away from cigarettes without a single experience, blaming my body, and my surrounding environment for me experiencing withdrawal symptoms

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that withdrawal symptoms is nothing more, or less but withdrawal symptoms, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make more of reality than what it is – to project my own issues, and my own desire to have things move fast, and painlessly, unto my human physical body, that in-fact simply express itself as withdrawal symptoms – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my body for experiencing withdrawal symptoms, instead of accepting and allowing myself to take a breath, and realize that this is what is here, and that these symptoms will go away with time, and that I am able to support myself with breath, physical movement, food and water

Self-commitments

I commit myself to support myself to walk through the withdrawal symptoms of stopping smoking through engaging myself in physical exercise, breathing effectively, eating nourishing and effective food, and drinking – and as such I commit myself to stop blaming my body and my environment and smoking for having these withdrawal symptoms, instead of me realizing that this is how it works, and that it’s neither good, or bad, it’s simply what it is – and as such I commit myself to walk through without judgment reality as what is in-fact here

When and as I see that I am becoming angry, agitated and annoyed, because I am reacting to the physical withdrawal symptoms of stopping smoking, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that it will not assist, and support me to walk through this physical experience, becoming angry, and that I can instead assist and support myself, and my body to make this experience and process easier for myself; and as such I commit myself to stop – breathe – and look for a solution – as to how I am in that moment able to support myself and body to let go of the physical withdrawal symptoms and support myself and my body to get through them

Enhanced by Zemanta

2012 Bring it Back to Self

In the beginning as I started to walk process I couldn’t fathom or understand the statement “the world reflects you back to yourself” – or “the world is a mirror of yourself” – because from my perspective what I saw in this world was in no way me; I didn’t have any shit in me! If I was seeing someone that looked grumpy, and depressed – or fearful and nervous – I would be completely certain that what I was seeing was the other person, and not myself. And the same with actions that others took, if I would see someone that forgot to clean their dishes after themselves after they finished eating, I would become angry and think, “but how irresponsible and inconsiderate they are!” – never would I start to consider that what I was seeing was actually myself.

It was the same with how situations played in my world with other human beings – one situation might’ve played in such a way that the person I was participating with became angry and frustrated, started to scream and rant – I would in such a moment naturally think that this had nothing to do with me, this they were doing towards me! How I participated in that moment, within and without, that was in no way related to how this person was behaving now… obviously!

I am now glad to announce that the understanding of the above mentioned statements – “bring it back to self” – have dawned upon me, as I’ve through walking the agreement course been assisted to apply the practice of “bring it back to self”. So, let me explain how this functions and what this tool of “bring it back to self” entails.

In the agreement course, the first “truth” so to speak that’s underlined and learned, is that the functionality of all self’s agreements has it’s origin in the agreement self has with self – thus if self has a functioning, effective, and caring agreement with self – this is how self’s agreements with external points in this world will form – if self has stopped all conflicts within self – this is how self will participate, interact and experience others in his world – one and equal. Now – within this “truth” is implied that any bullshit self experience in his world is – all about self – it’s not about what’s out there, it’s not about fixing or changing anything else – but self – as all of self’s external reality is shaped, experienced and formed by how self interacts and stands in relation to reality, and this interaction is one and equal as how self interacts and stands in relation to self’s internal reality – as self = the self-agreement.

Following these principles is then in the course introduced and taught the importance of the practice of “bringing it back to self” – as this practice allows one to stop projecting, and looking outside of self for the problem, the issue, or the solution – too instead see and realize that what self is seeing to be existing out there, is in-fact existing within self.

As an example I will use how I’ve walked through points of being attracted to my partner due certain character traits my partner has – now what I realized that I was attracted to within my partner is her ability so share herself with her world confidently, and to interact with people that she haven’t met before, with no fear or anxiety – and so I was attracted to this point because I thought and believed that I couldn’t give this to myself, and that I required in order for me to experience this point, and have it my world, I needed to create it in my external reality – as then spending time together with my partner.

Though, through the application of “bring it back to self” – I realized and saw that this point of attraction that I experienced towards my partner wasn’t in-fact about my partner at all, it had nothing to do with how my partner expressed and experienced herself with other people – no – the attraction that I experienced was in-fact me showing to myself that – “hey! Here is a point that you’d like to live as yourself, that you aren’t yet allowing yourself to live! Saddle your horse and integrate that point as yourself! You know you want to!” – and so as I brought it all back to myself, this allowed for me to re-view my application and experience together with people, and within this I saw how I often feel shy, nervous, and uncomfortable to speak with people that I don’t yet know, or that doesn’t look like they would like to have anything to do with me – and from within me seeing that I wasn’t living as I’d like to live (being all shy and fearful) and experience myself with people, I was then able to apply and direct myself to become and manifest myself as that which I saw in my partner as what she was giving to herself and allowing herself to live – as accepting and allowing herself to be confident, and comfortable with herself speaking and being together with people she haven’t met before.

So – the point of bringing it back to self has really been an eye-opener, that have allowed me to effectively self-reflect and introspect – and apart from me applying this technique with what I’ve been attracted to within my partner, I’ve also applied it to what I’ve become angry and frustrated with in relation to what my partner is doing – as for example not emptying the bin – but instead “leaving it all up to me” – and within this I’ve seen that I am not in-fact frustrated with my partner, the frustration is really me being pissed of at myself ­– because as I’ve brought the point back to myself, I’ve been able to see that I’ve been living exactly the same behavior of sloppiness and carelessness that I saw in my partner, but in other parts of my world and in different ways. Thus I through bringing it back to myself effectively exposed to myself what I’ve in-fact been doing towards myself – this through having my partner function as a mirror to myself, and within this I opened up the opportunity for me to direct, learn and change myself, something that I obviously wouldn’t have ever done if I’d gone with my initial reaction as feeling that – “my partner is so sloppy! I got to tell her to stop this sloppiness, because obviously this not about me, I always empty the bin!”

Really – since I began to seriously apply this method of looking at my reality, the reactions, experiences, and thoughts that I have about others in my world have become my greatest source of information, and my greatest teacher, in terms of showing to myself how I am really living and existing – and how I could exist instead, if I’d allow myself to change. I could instead of being sloppy – take responsibility for myself and my world every time and every day – I could instead of being unconfident and afraid of other people – be confident and comfortable in my application with others – I could instead of isolating myself, and waiting for others to make contact with me – direct myself to interact with, and communicate with others, and within that accept and allow myself to have some fun – be daring – and explore the reality that is here; thus me bringing everything of my experiences of this reality back to myself has opened up a big treasure chest, filled with opportunities of self-change, and self-realization – that I am really grateful for finding!

So, for anyone else there that is struggling with his or her reality, feeling that “nothing is working out” – and “nobody is doing anything right” – my one and only suggestion is – bring it back to self! Hell – bring everything, each and every point back to yourself, and allow yourself to realize how little you really know about living, and first and foremost, about yourself!

And if you want effective support within this process of learning how to bring everything back to yourself – check out the agreement course, and DIP.