Tag Archives: fulfilling

Day 361: Experiencing Real Life Versus Walking Process

With process, I have noticed that it can be easy to create a rift between on the one hand walking process and on the other hand, enjoying and living a fulfilling life – where the belief that is created is that these two points are mutually exclusive. In the beginning of my process, this rift was more pronounced, however as I have continued to walk my process, what I have begun to do is to INTEGRATE my process into my DAILY LIVING.

What I have seen is the following: There are certain tools that must be used to walk process effectively, among these we find writing self to freedom, self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements. In that way, process is confined to certain physical positions and movements. We must either sit behind a computer or with pen and paper in order to write, and sounding self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements, that usually requires that we are in alone. Those are the only parts of process that are bound to a certain time and space – because the REAL CHANGE process – that is walked IN daily life.

Thus, it does not make sense to separate walking process from living within and participating in our daily routines, walking our hobbies, interacting with friends, traveling, exploring, and experiencing the various opportunities of expansion that exists within life. Process should be a part of life. What I have seen, realized and understood is that if there is a sense of resistance/discomfort towards process, and feeling in a way, trapped by challenge that process represents, then there is a separation between walking process and the rest of our life – and the solution thus is to integrate process into all parts of our life.

Integrating process into our lives is simple, yet it requires us to be aware, ready and present – and open to challenge ourselves and how we have decided to live. This way of looking at and approaching process can open up new worlds to explore. For example, going to work, such a menial point, mostly seen as something undesirable, can become a way to get to know self and expand. It is thus all about WHO WE ARE within what we do – not about what we do.

This also relates closely with the point of future obsession and how it can be easy to get stuck in projections of the future and loose touch with the present. In-fact, it is not that important what we decide to do, what is important is WHO WE ARE – what we decide to do and who we decide to be within ourselves. Process, self-creation, self-expansion, and moving beyond what we considered possible for ourselves can thus be a integral part of all areas of our lives – and that is also the solution to stop separation – to stop the constant experience of conflict and separation that other wise reigns within us as we try to reach and attain the most luscious pasture that we can graze.

Thus, walking process is never something that is easy. It requires effort, dedication, diligence and movement – HOWEVER – we do not have to limit process to only certain actions and parts of our lives. Rather, process should be HERE regardless of where we are at, with process meaning that we at any given moment strive to improve, further, drive, and move ourselves to become MORE, BETTER and reach our utmost POTENTIAL.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my future, my purpose, my direction very, very seriously, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about life HERE, and that it is never about what I do, it is about WHO I AM – and that I can do all the apparent right things yet never move an inch within myself – because I have not actually moved WITHIN myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring my attention/focus/direction back HERE to myself – and place my attention on WHO I AM – place my attention on self-development – self-creation – and self-expansion in every moment of breath – to look at my daily living and see the obvious points of expansion that I can take on and begin to push those

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that a consequence of placing attention on the future, of creating conflict in relation to the future, conflict in relation to what I should become, how I should be, how I will experience myself in the future, is that I will loose touch with the physical HERE – loose touch with what is important and significant – which is my daily movement and direction HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to live an interesting and fulfilling life if I make process part of my daily living – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that this is an illusion that I have created, a belief that my life will become less if I decide to integrate process as part of my life – while this is not true – and in-fact – only an excuse and a justification for me not to live and create fully – completely – and with all of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the more I integrate process into my daily living – the more I expand – the more I am able to see – the more fulfilled and stable I become – and in-fact – I miss out on nothing at all – life thus is not supposed to be separated from process – because what is life without the drive and push to change and move self to become the best self possible?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will loose myself if I make process a part of my daily living – a part of my every moment application – not seeing, realizing and understand – that I will not loose anything – but rather CREATE a new SELF – that will be able to walk through and do something worthwhile with life – instead of going through the motions and then ending up not doing anything at all

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself having resistance towards process and applying myself because I rather want to get on with my life and just experience it, I take a breath and bring myself back here – I see, realize and understand that this separation between process and life is an illusion, something that I have created in the belief that there is something more to be experienced but myself HERE – and thus in a way trying to run away from myself – and thus I commit myself to make process part of my everyday life – through integrating process in my life in moments and in parts of my life where I see that I must expand/move/direct myself – and in the parts where I see that I am already strong – by enhancing those strengths even more – thus actively making process a part of myself and my life


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Day 221: Giving Life To What We Do

As I’m now reaching the end of my law-studies, I’ve begun considering what to do next, where to place myself in the system, where to go, and who to be. In doing this I have walked what can be called a process of getting to know myself, because in order to answer the questions I have been asking myself, I had to see as well as understand myself and who I am – my strengths, my weaknesses, my inclinations and aversions.

Though I have experienced conflict with this decision, and this has had to do with whether I should venture into the business side of law, or the humanitarian side of law. My initial decision, and also the area in which I chose specialize myself during my education was contract and procedural law. This decision though have slowly been uprooted and lately I have been questionsng whether this direction is really ‘me’ so to speak. The reason being that I do enjoy the humanitarian and societal side of law a lot more, this aspect of the judicial system fascinates me. I also have talent for analyzing and reflecting on the daily human interactions in society, and I’m captivated by seeing and understanding the various social undercurrents of our world system.

Thus I’ve been questioning why I decided to give up on this side of law so early, and instead head into the business side. And I see that the reason behind this is MONEY – though – it’s not ACTUALLY about money in itself, rather it’s about the FEAR of not having money. Because without investigating the point clearly, I’ve assumed that there is no money in the humanitarian side of law, and that I must head into the arena of business. Mostly this is a decision I’ve come to through looking at what direction my classmates where going into, and most of them made the decision early on the head into business.

I am able to see that I have in a way lost myself through giving to much attention to what my classmates where doing, or rather, I hadn’t ever actually established myself and MY DIRECTION. WHERE it is that I wish to go and WHY? Thus I have now decided to reevaluate my starting point towards where I’m to place myself in the industry of law – and enquire into where and how it is that I can place myself in the system so that I can make an effective impact in this world, and where it is that I can grow the most as a being and living person. Thus – even though money plays an important role in our lives, it’s as important to make sure that we don’t become these wandering zombies – that only live to survive – but that we have a clear purpose with what we’re doing and ourselves. Because without that life becomes empty and incomplete – because SELF isn’t here actually directing, living, motivating and creating – as fear have instead taken the driver seat.

So, with this I don’t want to say that we should always go with what we ENJOY to do, because at all times, practical reality must be priority – which means that our ability to cover our expenses must be directed. Nevertheless when that point is covered, our focus should shift into creating something more of our ourselves and our lives – and here the point that I see is important is that if we have the ability to do so, we select a profession and a direction in life that we’re passionate about – OR – that we FIND and CREATE such passion towards what we are walking. That we do the research and find ways to contribute to life, society and other people through our expression in our profession – so that our daily living isn’t about just surviving. Meaning – that we instead give life and purpose to what we do – because nothing will do that for us – WE must instead be the directive principle that breath LIFE into our work, profession and other responsibilities in the system – that’s the simplicity of the point.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not gift myself the courage to recognize myself, where I see I will be effective in this life, where I see that I can place myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way lose myself through looking at what others are, or aren’t doing – and comparing my potential future with the potential future of others – and believe that my future must resemble and be just like the future of another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that regardless of the position I place myself within, the one point that remains the same is that I must gift life into my position and placement, that I must breath life and create my living and that nothing and no one will do that for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must gift life to myself and my choice of work – that I must establish a passion for life and create with myself and my living something that is beneficial and supportive and that gives life – and thus create my purpose and not accept and allow my life to merely be for the sake of survival – but to instead clearly establish within myself a directive as to where I am going and why – and make the directive within the principle of oneness and equality as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must accept and allow myself to trust myself when making the decision as to where I am to place myself – that after I’ve looked through the information, looked at myself, and established WHO I AM in relation to the point – then I must accept and allow myself to trust myself – to move forward and create myself in life – and in this I can’t wait for trust to come – I must decide to trust myself and then move ahead and create my life and purpose in relation to the point – to bring in life, passion and care into what I am doing – and to see how I’m able to re-design the point to be a gift that I give to myself as well as others that support life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that regardless of where I will place myself in this world, the thing that is going to remain the same is that I will be the breath of life that either drives, or demotivates the particular point – that I will either be the point that create and moves forward – or the point that will make the work or placement I’m within feel constricted, limited and boring – because I am creating it to be that way – instead of looking at gifts and opportunities that I can take and then learn from and create from – and build life from within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that through deciding on doing business law – not giving humanitarian law a change at all – I actually limited myself and my life – and I made a decision where I didn’t look at where I would grow the most – where I would fit and be effective – and where I would enjoy myself – and thus I made a decision as to where I am going to place myself on the basis of comparing myself with what others are doing – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, get to know myself, to see where in-fact I’d like to place myself, to review myself, reflect and ask myself the difficult questions – and then answer them – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that only making decisions on the basis of money is not effective – because an effective decision must consider ALL aspects and dimensions of a point – and here money is but ONE and not ALL

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give upon myself in terms of creating a life for myself within the category of humanitarian law – thinking that such a prospect will not work effectively for me – and that I will not be able to attain a sufficient amount of money directing myself in such an area of expertise – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve limited myself before even looking any further, or making more extensive investigations into the point – and that I’ve just assumed a direction – and moved within a particular trajectory just because everyone else was doing it – instead of me seeing and finding myself – and me considering who I am – where I’d be effective – where I’d actually enjoy my work and my profession – and towards what I do have a genuine passion that I can expand upon and use a support when I move myself to become more specific and effective in what I’m doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not keep my eyes open, and not unnecessarily close any doors on myself, believing that I have to go into a particular direction in life, just because others are doing that – and also to believe – that because I’ve selected upon a particular direction, then I must always go in that direction, and that there is no room or opportunity for me to change, and move a different way, and in a different direction – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in fear when making decisions as to where I’m to place myself in the future – to limit myself in fear through fearing that I’ll have to stick my decision for the rest of my life – and that it will be wrong – and that I’ll have to pay for that mistake forever – instead of me trusting myself and my stability here – my groundedness – and that I bring life and my stability into what I do – instead of expecting what I do to bring life into me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that my life and reality, and that my profession, and my direction in life is going to bring me passion and zest for life – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I can’t expect what I do to make me alive – and rather I must make what I do come alive – that I must be the point of creation that takes responsibility and brings something to life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it really doesn’t matter where I am, or what I do – because what matters is WHO I AM within and as what I am doing – and whether I’m actually giving myself the point – or whether I’m holding back and accepting and allowing myself to wait for the point to give itself to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hesitant towards and fearful of committing and giving myself to a certain point – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my direction in life to come to me, to want my future and my decisions to already be created, to already be set out and clearly defined – so that I just have to walk into my future – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect and want things to just be there for me – and to believe that what I do is going to complete me – instead of realizing that it will be me completing myself through me accepting and allowing myself to give myself unconditionally what I am doing and walking

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I’m expecting my future to unfold, expecting my profession, my work, and my direction to give me life, and that a creation will just unfold before me – I stop – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I will have to give life to what I do – that I will have to bring purpose, meaning and substance into my profession, my work and my direction – that it will be ME and my decision to gift life that will make all the difference – and thus I commit myself to gift life into what I do – to give myself to my responsibilities, commitments, my profession and direction – to commit myself and really give as I’d like to receive

I commit myself to stop waiting for a direction or profession in my life to give me enjoyment, and to give me purpose and a trajectory – and thus I commit myself to gift this to myself – to see, realize and understand that regardless of where I stand in life – regardless of position – regardless of environment – it’s my responsibility to see the gifts, to see the potentials and to take these – enhance them and create with them something that will be a support for all of life – and all of existence and for myself

Day 220: Changing the Starting Point of Purpose

In my process of creating a purpose for myself in this life, I’ve noticed one quite interesting point – it’s that the point of purpose has become monetized – so immediately as I think about or consider my purpose, this will be followed with thoughts, and experiences of how I can further myself in my career, or create more money for myself – thus the purpose in essence being something that I’m doing only for myself – and more precisely – for money.

It’s thus fascinating to see, that what comes up within me when considering giving myself purpose, giving myself direction, and a objective that is greater than me, is that I only tend to care about MYSELF – the consideration only stretches as far as me look at what I would feel good doing, what I would be able to use to get a greater and more lucrative career. Though, there is a quite obvious problem with this starting point in relation to purpose = it won’t ever create any form of change in this world – it’ll only ever create my life to be slightly better, slightly more enjoyable, and with more finances to it – but that shouldn’t be the point of purpose!

The word PURPOSE implies something more than me only looking at myself, my life, my preferences, hopes, and desires – it implies looking at others as well, looking at life, looking at the world – looking at where it is that I can contribute, where I would be able to place myself that would have an effect – an actual effect in the lives of others, where their lives would become measurably enhanced by the point that I am walking and placing into creation.

Yet in my process of selecting a purpose of myself, the one greatest point that has stood in my way has probably been that of wanting, and desiring to find an extravagant purpose – something extremely great, something totally enjoyable, something that I just KNOW is what I’m supposed to do and create for myself in this lifetime – though – creating and finding a purpose is not about something OUT THERE – a purpose can exist even in the smallest of points – it’s important to not THINK something up – rather what I require to look at myself, my life, and see what is and has been significant to me personally – NO MATTER how small or simple it may seem.

For me, this has been quite difficult, because the purpose I’ve seen for myself has been one of these small and apparently insignificant points – one of those very personal aspects of life that many probably wouldn’t consider as having any impact or value whatsoever – and due to me having an idea of what purpose SHOULD be – and also relating purpose to MONEY and INCOME – my process of finding a direction for myself became convoluted, complex and filled with labyrinthine paths stretching from here to there – yet never really coming to a conclusion HERE. This also a fascinating point – that we believe that to change the world, and stand by a greater purpose – we’ve to become some form of a revolutionary, and daring activist, with this enormous, massive and flaunting purpose – whereas the reality of the situation is that we might be able to contribute the most through for example sharing with the world, how we’re able to live self-discipline and self-motivation effectively – meaning showing and giving to others how to improve on one small aspect of life, living and self-creation.

So, what I’ve seen is that in order to really find YOUR purpose, or in this case MY purpose – there can’t be any comparison, there can’t be any money-issues involved, there can’t be ideas of what the purpose should be like, because then the point of having a purpose is missed – then purpose instead of being an expression of myself, becomes a point of showing off and trying to display a picture to others of how cool, interesting, and fascinating my life is – and that is not the point – the point is to share myself with the world, share a point of myself that I’ve walked, and give that to others, seeing that it will contribute to their lives, that it will enhance their lives, that it will give something to them that they are able to use for the rest of their existence.

Thus purpose is not something you LOOK for OUT THERE – you have to LOOK INSIDE, yourself, your life to SEE it – PURPOSE must be something personal that you can stand by for yourself and even if for example Desteni wouldn’t be here – a point where you can source from the principle / process of Desteni but where you stand in and as a way where it still supports others in such a significant way as it did with you

Concluding – purpose is not about success, purpose is not about self-importance, purpose is not about becoming noticed, purpose is not about becoming seen by others, purpose is not about becoming special, purpose is not about money, purpose is not about fame, purpose is not about looking outside of yourself – purpose is an act of SELF-INTIMACY – it’s an act of SELF-KNOWING – seeing WHO I am – and WHAT I’ve lived – and WHY I’ve lived – and WHAT of my existence, life, expression that is personal to me – that I can voice and share with others – and in that stand as an example of how you create, change, improve and update your life – similar to the way I’ve done with the particular point that I’m walking.

Thus – finding/seeing purpose is actually very simple – because it involves recognizing the value a point that’s always been here – though as many do know – often what is the most glaringly obvious is also the point we’ve got the most difficulty to see – maybe because we’ve simply gotten used to it?

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become uncertain and doubtful of my purpose through looking out there, and comparing myself with others, and trying to attain and create a purpose for myself that I define and see to be extravagant, great, and formidable, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loose touch with myself, with the simplicity of breath, the simplicity of being here with and as my human physical body, and in self-intimacy seeing what I’m able to bring to this world, to show and extend to others as a gift that I’ve created for myself and that I’m now able to show others how to create, build and implement into their lifestyles

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate purpose with creating something great, magnificent, and fantastic – and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself for granted, to take my skills, my process that I’ve walked, and my life in this world for granted, and believe that it’s not worth enough, it’s not worthwhile, it’s not good enough, and that I apparently require and need to keep looking, to keep investigating, to find that apparent great, fulfilling, and complete purpose of myself – instead of recognizing and seeing myself – and accepting and allowing myself to move, create and walk what is already HERE – what I’ve already done and seen in my life that I’m now able to gift to others as I’ve gifted to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself for granted, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, and participate within and as an idea that I require to bring something more to the table, something better, something more extravagant, something deeper, with more impact, with more power to it, with more worth to it, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the problem I’ve had – is that I’ve not been willing to recognize the value and worth in myself and the life I’ve walked thus far – and thus I commit myself to recognize and value myself – the process of walked thus far – to see the greatness of what I’ve been able to create for myself that could really make a difference in the life of others – and thus stop trying to make something more out of myself in the belief that I’m not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make something more, better, and greater out of myself and my life – in the belief that it’s not enough – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge simplicity, to judge the small aspects, and skills that I’ve been able to walk, and create for myself – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason I’ve had a difficulty to see what I can gift to the world, is because I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to recognize my value, to recognize my skills, to recognize what I’m able to gift, to recognize what are my strengths, what are my potentials, and what I’m able to walk and stand as an example of and as in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself into a time-loop and mind-fuck through thinking about what should be me purpose, through judging the purpose I initially selected and defined for myself as not being sufficient, and not being enough – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this time-loop I’ve dragged myself into is in-fact indicatory of my approach to myself and life in general, which is that I don’t accept and allow myself to value and recognize the small, to value and recognize myself and who I am – and what I’ve walked and created within and as my lifetime

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what I’m facing within is the consequences of judging myself as not being good enough – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how this a pattern that is present in many areas and aspects of my life – that comes through in me constantly wanting, and desiring to something more, something different, something better – instead of recognizing myself HERE – what it is that I’m already walking and applying myself within and as – and thus developing the points I’ve already committed myself to walk – and recognizing the value, and worth of those points that I’ve committed myself to walk

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to value and recognize myself, the life I’ve walked, the processes I’ve walked, that skills and abilities that I’ve developed, and the gifts that I’ve given to myself – to recognize these points and realize that this is what I can gift to the world – and that it doesn’t have to be a magnificent, powerful and apparently great purpose that I give to myself – it must be something that I’ve lived and walked personally that I can share with others and gift to others – and stand as an example of and as in the lives of others

When and as I see that I’m going into doubt, and uncertainty with regards to the purpose I’ve selected for myself in this lifetime, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this doubt and fear that comes up within me is in-fact originating from within and as me not accepting and allowing myself to value and recognize myself – and thus I commit myself to as self-correction – state within me that I value and recognize what I’ve walked for myself – and the importance of standing with and as the purpose I’ve selected for myself – because I see the difference that it’s made to my life – and thus I understand what difference it can do in the life of others – and thus I see it as my responsibility to gift that point to others – and stand as an example of that point in the lives of others

Day 81: Projections and Fear

Recently as I’ve begun to write this terms paper in relation to my law-studies, I’ve begun to face more, and more anxiety, and fear, and this is particularly in relation to failing with the course, and not getting the best possible grade.

future-of-innovation-management-five-key-steps-for-future-successThe reason this fear comes up is because of fear of the future, and it’s in relation to how I’ve dreamed up this particular idea of how well it should go for me in the future, what type of life I should have, and how me getting the best grade on all courses would allow me to get this particular life that I desire, and that I’ve imagined in my mind.

In essence, what I am able to see as the desire I have for my future is lot’s of money, and a easy life, a life where I can settle down and feel that I have stabilized myself effectively in the system, and thus nobody, and nothing can touch me, I am stable. So, it’s interesting that I am existing in a fear of the future, a fear of survival in essence, and my solution to this have been to try and acquire more money, to make it certain that I will be able make my dreams, and hopes of the future real – and within this the obvious point is forgotten; that I could give myself that point of being stable, and untouchable HERE – I don’t in-fact have to accomplish anything in this world, or acquire any particular position in the system to give myself this point of letting go of fear, letting go of anxiety, and letting go of the fear of survival.

I can also see that this fear isn’t only coming from fear of survival, it’s also coming from the fear of not being the best, and not succeeding in such a way that I am able to think of myself that I truly got out of the course, the best I could possibly get out of it. I don’t want to fail, because I don’t want others to think of me as being stupid, ineffective, and not capable.

What I find fascinating is how a small point like this is able to consume, and become my entire way of living, wherein my way of looking at things, and my way of interacting with this world becomes one-dimensional, as I lock into this one point in my mind, and I try and attempt to accomplish that one single point, forgetting that obviously, there are severely more important things to attend to in this world, than worrying about MY life, and MY desires, and MY hopes.

Isn’t this one of the reasons as to why this world is a complete shithole? We have all been preoccupied with only our own life’s to such an extent that we’ve not even bothered to pay attention to what is really going on in this world, and seeing that there is much, much more than only MY life, and MY desires, and MY hopes.

I see that this fear I hold unto can only exist when I hold unto a limited perspective, and way of viewing my life, wherein I define points like this, as what particular grade I will receive, as being a all-important, all-devouring point – and I do not push myself to see the greater picture of things, the global view, wherein people are without even the most basic necessities, the most basic points required to survive in this world; now that is a fucking problem – me getting a slightly lesser grade on a test – that is a luxury-problem and not something in-fact worthy of fearing, considering the misery and suffering that is really going on in this world on a massive level each and every day; thus the conclusion can be that when I stand on par with the real priorities of this existence – fear for my personal life can’t really exist, or at least not be as possessive in regards to these small, and in essence, completely unimportant points, such as whether I will receive the best grade, or the slightly lesser grade.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with MY life, with MY hopes, with MY interests, with MY ideas, with MY personal survival, and within this disregard, and completely overlook that there is an entire existence here, in-front of my eyes, that is in grave troubles, wherein people do not even have access to the most basic of necessities; and within this I see, realize, and understand that – sure – it’s important that I direct, and take responsibility for my personal world, and my personal survival, but within this I can’t accept and allow it to become a possession because then I miss that there is in-fact MORE than only my life, and my personal world, and my personal responsibilities, that also requires direction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that one of the reasons as to why this world is in the condition that it is, is because we as humans tend to become possessed with our own life to such an extent that we view reality as a one-dimensional movie, that we name “MY life” – not realizing that there is really not such a thing as “MY life” – because obviously all humans are interconnected with each other, and thus what I do in MY life will echo through this world, and have an impact in this world; and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the simple truth that “no man is an island” – and that this truth implies that I must motivate myself to act on behalf of all of humanity as creating a solution that is best for all, so that we do not anymore have to live in this existence of fear wherein we can’t even be sure to have access to the most basic living necessities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest with myself, in realizing and understand that, it won’t affect my life that much whether I will get the best grade, or the slightly lesser grade, and that really, the fear I experience is only a mind-job – wherein I imagine stuff in my mind, as how I want my life to be, and then fear that things will not turn out as I’ve imagined; instead of realizing that the primary point of importance in terms of my own life, is that I can assure my personal survival, so that I can walk this process, and contribute to a life that is best for all, and looking at my studies from that perspective, I see that there is really no use for fear, there is really no use for anxiety – because I will be able to place myself in effective money making position in the system, regardless of whether I get the best grades, or the slightly lesser grades

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I become overly concerned with my life, my hopes, my desires, my wishes, and my interests, this will affect my seeing of the world as a unit, and as a oneness, wherein I see that who I am in my daily life have an effect, and an impact on the whole; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here, and ground myself in the physical – and accept and allow my life to physical – meaning that I take decisions on the basis of giving life, and supporting life for all that is here in this physical reality, and not just to support my interests, desires, wishes, and fears, that come up as irrational thoughts in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear to be my directive principle in my life, and to believe that fear is a benevolent energy that makes my life easier, and that sort of warns me when things are about to go astray, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest, and to see, realize, and understand that fear only makes me ineffective, and really have me compromise myself in my life, because when I am in fear, it’s obvious that I can’t be HERE and life effectively in this moment, with and as my human physical body, as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here – and to within this not accept and allow myself to be possessed by fear, but instead merge myself with the physical and remain within and as common sense, as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I let go of fear, and instead start considering my world, my reality, and my responsibilities, from a physical, common sense starting point, that I might then completely loose myself in this world and reality, and not anymore be able to function effectively, because apparently fear is my trustworthy eyes, that shows me who I should be, what I should do, when I should do it, and why I should do it, and apparently I am completely helpless, and without any form of stability if I can’t go to my fear, and ask my fear “who should I be here?” – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and within this state that “I am my own authority as the physical here as common sense – and I don’t require fear to be effective in my life” – and as such I commit myself to not anymore accept and allow me to go to fear for guidance – but to remain with common sense – to remain with the physical – to remain with my breath and my human physical body here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that when I experience fear, that there is something that is wrong, and that there is something that might be about to go wrong, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that fear have no effective relationship with reality, and that as such fear is simply fear – and it has no deeper meaning to it that it being fear; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely upon fear, and use fear as my guide, and to believe that when fear comes up it must be because there is something I am missing; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here, and to simply let go of fear as it comes up, and stop myself from participating in it, and instead focus upon looking at reality with physical eyes – seeing the mathematical context of reality and making decisions in regards to physical points that I am able to see and prove to myself here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here, and within this accept and allow myself to let go of fear, and to realize, that really, being possessed with fear is a choice that I’ve made, and as such I am able to re-choose – re-align myself with and as the physical, and not anymore accept and allow myself to have fear be a part of my life; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am not helpless to the experience of fear, and that I am not less than fear – it’s simply that I’ve made the decision to make fear my god, but within this I see that I am able to change this decision, and re-align myself with and as the physical – with and as that which is practical and within that obviously do not contain any form of energy as fear

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into fear in regards to points in my reality, that will have some type of effect on my future, and I start to fear that my future will not be what I’ve imagined, and hoped that it would be – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that fear is not making more effective in terms of realizing plans that I’ve made for the future, it merely makes go into a panic and loose my perspectives of what is important, and what isn’t – and what it is that I am here to do in this life; as such I commit myself to bring myself back here to and as the physical – to let go of the fear and start practically working with considering my life in a mathematical and practical context – because then no fear can possibly exist as fear derives it’s existence upon ideas that are not aligned with and as the physical

When and as I am seeing that I go into fear, and that my life suddenly has become this dance of fear, wherein all my actions, and decisions are born within and as fear, and I do this to protect my life, and my interests, and my desires, and my hopes – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that fear makes me loose perspective on what is important, on what the actual state is of my physical world, and as such I start making decisions, and start looking at things in a way that is ineffective, that is completely separated from the mechanics of this physical world and reality; as such I commit myself to align myself with and as the physical – to merge myself with the physical – and to practically do this through pushing myself to when I make decisions, and when I look at my future, do this in a practical, physical, and tangible context – wherein I consider the mathematics of this world and reality and not my experience thereof

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