Tag Archives: fulfillment

writing

Day 350: Writing, The Way to Fill Life With Purpose

It is not strange that many feel purposeless and lost. This tends to happen when we loose touch with the physical reality, with our genuine self-expression, and our focus becomes more and more zoned into what happens within our minds. I have noticed, for myself, that the experience of being purposeless and lost goes hand in hand with my own relationship with myself – and interestingly enough – this relationship has been very much dependent upon writing.

Some weeks ago I made a decision to write more for myself. I have usually written about once a week, though now, I decided to write once every day or once every other day. The effects of applying this decision were immediate and positive, especially with regards to how I experienced myself in relation to words such as purpose, direction and movement. Because in when moving, working and living within the system on a daily basis, it is easy to forget what matters. If we do not nourish our relationship with ourselves properly, soon enough we will begin to feel empty and lost. And that is when it is easy to believe that we need a energy to feel alive and on track – that we need some form of personal reinvention – for example – a new hobby, a new car, a new girlfriend or a new job. However it is never about what to do, experience, achieve, get, own, out there – it is always and only about ourselves.

When I started to write more regularly, I noticed that my mind became more quiet, and the experience of being without purpose that had been stirring within me for a while, it was not there anymore. I was surprised, because I initially thought that I had to establish some form of direction in relation to the world system, to direct my experience of being without purpose. That was not the case, because purpose, is not something that can be achieved out there – purpose is something that we live within and as ourselves – it is all about who we are.

Yet, why is it that writing is such a powerful tool when it comes to establishing purpose? I see it the following way. Purpose, which is a clear sense and understanding of what I am doing here and to what end, is dependent upon inner clarity, that is the ability to see ourselves and our life clearly. And writing is one of the most effective tools for establishing clarity, because when we place down words before us, and through that with awareness design our understanding/seeing of reality and ourselves, we create clarity. Seeing clearly is thus a matter of having a clear and solid vocabulary, with which we have clearly defined and made sense of the world we interact with on a daily basis.

Writing is how we investigate, expand, move and create ourselves and our lives. In placing words, we design ourselves, and that brings through clarity, which in turns enables us to live with purpose. And purpose is simply to be clear on what we are doing, live with a reason, and have a clear direction – and with writing – we are able to establish that direction – re-focus our attention on what we want to create/expand/move/direct. That is why writing is so important, and why everyone interested in finding stability and purpose in their lives should use writing daily to expand their relationship with themselves.

Day 344: Removing Projections

Future projections and dreams, if I have realized one thing in this process, it is how easily we can deceive ourselves by accepting and allowing ourselves to participate in the idea of a more fulfilling future. It is soooo easy – one moment when we lose touch with our breath – and a imagination regarding future comes up – and whoop – we are gone with the wind. The treacherous thing about future projections is that they are usually accompanied with some form of positive experience. Hence it is easy to believe that future projections is a positive/good/empowering pattern within ourselves. However, that is not the case, because the consequence of future projections is: Waiting instead of acting, not committing to what is here, not participating with what is here, and hoping instead of living. Basically, future projections makes us slave to a mental projection in our minds, and does not support us to LIVE.

Let me give you a practical example from my own life. During my university studies I found within me a deep and passionate love for learning. I enjoyed to read, to take in information, and to push myself to excel in my studies. However, while I was doing this, at the same time, there was within me a projection, an idea of where I was supposed to go in the future. Without me seeing it at the time, I was through holding unto that projection, my idea of what profession I would enter, what future I was supposed to have, and what I wanted to experience, already conditioning my relationship to my studies. I developed a tendency of only committing myself to certain parts and aspects of my studies that I deemed to be worthwhile in consideration of how I would best be able to realize my future projection. Through doing that, I missed out on a lot. Because there were many aspects of my studies that I could have committed myself to walk and get to know even better, if I had not held unto that future projection.

Thus, this all goes to show the importance of not conditioning our current expression, movement, and direction, that takes place in each and every moment of breath, according to a idea, a future projection, an illusion of where we are supposed to go. There is SO much to learn, so many areas of life in which we are able to expand, improve, and practice changing ourselves to the better – HOWEVER – when we close ourselves off to that part of life through constantly thinking about and looking at some distant future that is not here – we will not give ourselves access to that eternal well of expansion that is always HERE.

This also brings me into a different though closely related point – TIME – and how we use our time on this earth. When we always strive for something different to what is here – then we are NOT using our time effectively – because – we are not IN TIME – moving WITH TIME – but rather racing towards a time somewhere in the distant future. Life, reality, relationships, developing and creating ourselves – that is a process that will only always be HERE. If we are not HERE – then that process will be out of our reach. Thus – the importance of pushing presence – awareness – and HERE-living.

Now, how do we change from living in the future, in a projection, to instead, living HERE? One solution that I see, is to give myself FULLY to the MOMENTS of my life. Lets say that in one moment, I am participating on a chat. To then give myself FULLY to that moment would be to go into and participate in that chat with presence, awareness and vigor – it would be to have my mind and my attention placed fully here on what I am doing – not being separated through for example – thinking about what I am going to eat after the chat – but committing myself FULLY – FULLY living – FULLY communicating – FULLY relating – FULLY interacting – FULLY responding – being FULLY here – and not split in a millions pieces within myself as thoughts, and projections, as ideas of where I should go, who I should be, what I should do, and what not.

The solution to the illusion of a fuller life out there – is to become that FULL life HERE through FULLY living – and FULLY living being – to take part FULLY in every moment with ALL of MYSELF – and not half-arsing my way through life believing that such a participation is in anyway resembling what real living expression is all about.


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childhood

Day 331: Why We Should Reinvent Our Childhood

“Compared with adults, children do not yet have the ability to see a self that extends temporally into the future. This, however, is not a liability, but rather an asset that allows them to view their future without gloom and fully enjoy the present feelings of happiness. That is why the children of the world can look happy so long as they are happy in the present.”

― Yoichi Sakakihara, M.D., Professor of Ochanomizu University

Childhood, I remember that as a time in my life that was thoroughly enjoyable. Obviously, that is not so for everyone, as childhood can also be a terrible experience. However, as children, undoubtedly we do have an ability to live in the moment that surpasses that of any adult. I remember when I used to visit new places as a child, for example a forest, being sensitive, attuned, and completely in the present moment, it was an adventure without comparison. All my senses were active in experiencing and interacting with this new environment – and that ability to be FULLY here in the moment was what contributed to creating that almost magical feeling of adventure and astonishment at the small moments, that by adults were perceived as insignificant or completely missed.

This skill disappears as we age, and that is sad, because obviously, we as adults also need that sense of adventure and fulfillment in our lives, else, we simply become like robots, walking around to our next appointment, doing our thing, without really knowing why. From my perspective, and from what I have found, the reason why we loose this ability to be in the present moment is because we compare what is here to what has been, we actively use our experiences and memory-bank to define and give points to our current reality. This use of memory to interact with reality also dulls our senses and makes us less sensitive and attuned to the present moment. We thus miss so much of reality, because we are busy in our mind evaluating what is here, instead of LIVING with what is here.

One clear example of this is how adults tend to judge weather such as rain, storms, cold, and similar, as ‘bad weather’ and enter a gloomy experience, and oftentimes complain at the weather. What children do with bad weather is that they embrace it and allow themselves to experience and be part of and explore that particular moment of weather. For example, rain becomes an adventure without likes, as rain offers pools of water, and different animals come out from their hiding places to get moisture and look for food. Children hence know and apply one thing in their lives that we adults tend to miss, it is not about where we are, not about what we are, not about when we are, it is about WHO WE ARE – basically meaning that – we DECIDE what our present moment will be like – either a moment of presence/interaction/connection with the physical – or a moment of existing in our mind comparing what is here to what we would like it to be like.

As adults we look for life in all the wrong places, because we have forgotten that point of presence which we embodied as children. Life will not ever be born through realizing a dream or reaching a goal, such points are merely moments of satisfaction, and enjoyment, though not the same thing as the constant and fulfilling approach to reality that children master. Hence, the secret to life does not exist in changing our material physical world, it is instead within us, in our approach, and in essence, in our relationship with ourselves. If we want to have fulfillment, adventure, and enjoyment in our lives, this is where we should look, and not make the mistake of believing that the problem is our physical reality.

The above though is only true to some extent. We do undoubtedly have physical needs, we have to eat, drink, shit and piss – and if our basic needs are not fulfilled effectively – then it is not possible, or at least very difficult, to embody presence and live fully in every moment. This is why we require a new economic system with an equal distribution of resources – to make sure that everyone has to opportunity to discover and live their unconditional and childlike expression in this world.

What is then the solution? How is it that we return to our childlike selves? I find the following quote very supportive in this regard.

“Stop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes and no?
What difference between success and failure?
Must you value what others value,
avoid what others avoid?
How ridiculous!

Other people are excited,
as though they were at a parade.
I alone don’t care,
I alone am expressionless,
like an infant before it can smile.

Other people have what they need;
I alone possess nothing.
I alone drift about,
like someone without a home.
I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty.

Other people are bright;
I alone am dark.
Other people are sharp;
I alone am dull.
Other people have purpose;
I alone don’t know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind.

I am different from ordinary people.
I drink from the Great Mother’s breasts.”

― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

The solution to stopping our continuous adult contemplation and replace it with LIFE is to STOP thinking. Thinking not only steals our attention from the present moments, it also becomes the building blocks of our life, and the problem here is that we have not even investigated the consequences of our thoughts; what does our thoughts really create? We must remind ourselves that the future will only ever be an abstract concept, something we use to make sense of time and space, however, LIFE will only ever be HERE. Thus, when we think about the future it should only be to organize and plan for our life HERE, yet that plan must not, and in reality cannot, take precedence of what is HERE. Hence, a plan, or a goal, will never in itself fulfill us, give us peace and joy – if we want to experience such words for real – they must be created HERE in our everyday life – in the mundane and recurrent. And in doing that, what we will discover and understand, which children already see, is that life HERE is not mundane, it is a constant flow of new moments that we can only ever really see if we stop thinking and instead place our full awareness in the present.


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Day 327: What Are We Living For?

What are we living for? Looking at how we live on a day-to-day basis, it is clear that this point have not been investigated sufficiently. The tendency we have is to place primary value on our external lives. When we have a job, we have a house, and we have a partner, then our life is functional and apparently fulfilling. However, when we are not able to find work, we struggle to survive, and we cannot find a partner, only then we feel that there is something wrong. This is a generalization, but most us seem to have these variables existent within when it comes to determining what is a successful and enjoyable life and what is not – it is all about what goes on around.

Oftentimes, what disappears and lose importance as we tend and care for our external life is our internal realities. Our inner life does not at all have the same standing and priority as our external reality. For example in Europe, many of us view it as a sign of weakness to go visit a psychologist to have your mental status evaluated. And when we look at ‘what we do’  and ‘who we are’ – what emerge within is pictures, remembrances, and memories of the various roles we are and have fulfilled in the system, people, relatives, animals, colleagues, and similar. Apparently, we are the employee, the graduate, successful, the animal owner, the friend, the father or mother, though, what is missing within this is OURSELVES – our inner life – our inner environment – the truth of who we are – that is not defined or limited by the physical reality we move within.

Words such as purpose and meaning also comes through, limited by this one dimensional  view of life. It is about career and family, yet seldom anything more than that. It is as if we have forgotten OURSELVES in the midst of everything, as we come of age and we are forced to face life and what comes with it. Maybe this is why we have had such a difficulty in creating any lasting change in this world. When we do not even know what motivates us, why we feel and experience ourselves the way we do, why we dislike some people and like other, how can we expect to have any significant impact? How can we change, shape, and form our lives in a way that is best for all, and best for ourselves, when we do not know who we are to begin with? When we have forgotten the experiences, inner monologues and decisions, that throughout our lifetime molded us into who we are at this moment, it is not possible to make life something more.

We have forgotten what is important and real, and our focus/emphasis have been located to some very few areas of life, and this has caused us to become blind. We are not able to see how creation works in our external life, as we have not yet investigated and seen it works internally. Accordingly, what should have been a natural part of our education and upbringing, the process of learning about ourselves, does not yet exist.

This is why, if we want to change this world to become a better place, we have to engage in a process of re-education, because the one most important variable of creation that is still not understood is SELF. The result is that we create our lives without self-intimacy, self-love, without understanding what would be best for us, without principles or a clear direction – life seemingly happens – and most of us have no idea what is really going on. Only several years later down the road do we look back and conclude that there was no real plan, intent or meaning with ourselves – that things only happened and we followed along – BECAUSE – we did not know what we wanted and what would have been the best for us – even less so – what would have been best for everyone.

Thus, asking the question ‘what are we living for?’ is important, because it displays the gaping holes existent within our current definition of meaning, expression and life. Are we living for a career? To what purpose? To have money and manifest positive experiences for ourselves and then die? Are we living for our family? For what reason? To feel we belong somewhere, that we do something good, and that we feel happy? But what about OURSELVES? Should not our lives have more depth, more meaning, more reflection, more prudence and consideration, where we SLOW DOWN – and instead of rushing into things – first ask ourselves – is this what is BEST for me? Will this decision, walking this path, support ME in my process of SELF-CREATION? In my process of LIVING my utmost potential, and sharing this expression with others in a way that is best for all?

We as individuals are the only ones able to give our lives meaning, depth, intimacy, something MORE above and beyond the obvious and instantaneous image we see. We are not limited by the appearance of things, by the job we have, the family we live with, the relations we have and roles we step into, we are capable of MUCH MORE – and all of that does unfold as we investigate and open up our relationship with ourselves.


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inspiration

Day 308: The Art of Becoming Inspired

Do you feel inspired? Do you sometimes look at people in your world, amazed at how they can express themselves, and from that start practicing that expression yourself? Do you get inspired by the words of others? So inspired that you decide to go and write a blog about the subject, just so you can expand and develop the concept and perspectives even further?

I would say that most people do not allow themselves to be sufficiently inspired by the life that is around them every day. What I have noticed is that we tend to make our daily living a routine, and the people in our environment but roles that play a part in the show called ‘our life’. We consider our weekdays and the job we have to do boring, a chore, something we have to do so we can do what we enjoy, so how can we then be inspired? What is there to inspire us? And why should we become inspired by having to wake up to face another day and do the same thing as the day before?

Does this reasoning sound familiar? I myself have had, and to some extent still do have this way of looking at parts of my life. For example, my job and the colleagues interact with on a daily basis, this environment I defined as being my ‘work’ – and apparently – when I am at office – I work – and that is the only thing I can do. And I have thought that, because work is something I do for my survival, I cannot possibly make anything more out of it than that; I just have to suffer through the time and get it done. Though I have realized that this is a very, very limiting way of considering work – and for that matter – it is very, very limiting to create any form of rigid idea and concept in relation to a particular environment, role or position that we interact within on a regular basis.

Hence, what I have done to create inspiration in my life, is to push myself to be inspired. The sound of the word inspired is IN-SPY-READ – and in context of being inspired by people – this is basically SPYING on others and READING them to see their skills, abilities and expressions and then – make them my own. What I have realized is that becoming inspired is not something that just happens by itself. As a matter of fact I have had to sit down with myself to take a look at the people in my world, for example my colleagues, to see what particular expressions/words they are living. Only when I did this did it become apparent to me that there were things I had missed in my colleagues, I had not seen their individual expressions and strength’s – because I had existed in my idea of work as only being WORK. However, work can be so much more, it can be an environment of inspiration, through me allowing and pushing myself to be inspired by others. And this goes to prove one thing. It is not about where you are, what you are, when you are – it is about WHO YOU ARE.

Hence, what I want to share with this blog is that there is always room for expansion, regardless of environment. Whether we are working, whether we are with our family, whether we are hanging out with friends, the moment we interact with people, there is a opportunity to become inspired – to see another and learn. We do not have to limit learning to school, or expansion and inspiration as a thing we can only pursue in our leisure time. We are the creators, we define the playing field, we decide what our job is to be, what the relationship with our colleagues means, and we decide to get inspired.

As such, do not wait for inspiration, because it arises far to seldom. If we want to live a inspirational life, we must push ourselves to be inspired – notice the moments when we are touched, when we see the potential for expansion and creation – and ACT on those moments – put words to it – write a blog or do a vlog. That is how we bring INSPIRATION into our lives as a decision.

 

Day 269: Hierarchies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people that are above me in the hierarchy in my work place – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into inferiority, and fear when communicating with someone that have a higher and more important position in comparison with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to position, according to where I am in a hierarchy, whether I am on top, or on bottom, whether I am the most experienced, or the least experienced, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my experience of myself depending on what position I have, and what position another have, and feel/be more comfortable with myself when others have lower positions than me, and I can define myself/experience myself as having a higher position than others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to acquire a feeling of being comfortable with myself through gaining a more desirable, and attainable position than what others have, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that when another have a more rewarding position than what I have, in terms of monetary benefits, then that person is better than me, is superior to me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I do not need to define myself according to money, and define my value/importance according to money – but to see, realize and understand that all are in-fact equal – and that money/status/position doesn’t change this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for me to become more stable, more comfortable, and at ease with myself, I require to gain more money, and attain a higher position in comparison with others, and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself limit my living, and my expression of the word comfort – in thinking that for me to live this word I require to have more money than others – I must be the winner of the money competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back, and fear expressing myself when I am around others that have a higher grade, and a better standing than me in the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself, and fear being myself around others, in thinking that I will not be accepted, and that I am not liked, and that I am strange and dislikable, and that people doesn’t want to have anything to do with me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my real, genuine self-expression, in the belief that its dirty, and wrong, and that in order for me89tatus, and become someone/something in eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my stability/standing on how much money I have in the system – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the only point that I require to stand stable in the system is my trust in myself – my trust that I will stand by and with myself and walk in stability throughout my life – and regardless of what I face – always remember and remind myself of my purpose – which is to create a life that is best for all and bring through the expression of what is best for all in everything that I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my stability, and standing, on what position I have in the system, and on what career I make of myself in the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let career, money, and position define me, and set up who I am, and what I am capable of doing, and what I am not capable of doing, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget myself – and who I am – and that I am in-fact capable of standing and walking in stability throughout my life – and create a future for myself that is truly magnificent – and that is truly effective – and that is best for all – and that I do not have to limit and confine this movement of and as myself to be connected to money/position/who I am in this system

When and as I see that I am holding myself back, or waiting with living/expressing/creating my life, because I believe that I do not yet hold the necessary position to create my life, to fulfill myself, and build a future for myself and this world, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that it is up to me to create – and that I do not have to wait for anything – that I do not have to wait for me to get a particular spot in the system – that I do not have to wait for me to get a particular salary – that I can decide here that I will live fulfillment as WHO I AM – and thus not anymore wait; and thus I commit myself to live in every moment – every day – the word fulfillment – in realizing that I am full here – and that I can create and build my life here in every moment – and that waiting for that is an illusion that is not real

I commit myself to stand with the courage, and stability, to be an equal participant in this world, and understand that money, position, and career does not make me – I make/create myself – and thus I commit myself to stand equal and one regardless of what position I am within – regardless of what my duties and responsibilities are – I commit myself to remember, and remind myself – that I am here – and that my primary responsibility is to walk my process of birthing myself from the physical as life

Day 221: Giving Life To What We Do

As I’m now reaching the end of my law-studies, I’ve begun considering what to do next, where to place myself in the system, where to go, and who to be. In doing this I have walked what can be called a process of getting to know myself, because in order to answer the questions I have been asking myself, I had to see as well as understand myself and who I am – my strengths, my weaknesses, my inclinations and aversions.

Though I have experienced conflict with this decision, and this has had to do with whether I should venture into the business side of law, or the humanitarian side of law. My initial decision, and also the area in which I chose specialize myself during my education was contract and procedural law. This decision though have slowly been uprooted and lately I have been questionsng whether this direction is really ‘me’ so to speak. The reason being that I do enjoy the humanitarian and societal side of law a lot more, this aspect of the judicial system fascinates me. I also have talent for analyzing and reflecting on the daily human interactions in society, and I’m captivated by seeing and understanding the various social undercurrents of our world system.

Thus I’ve been questioning why I decided to give up on this side of law so early, and instead head into the business side. And I see that the reason behind this is MONEY – though – it’s not ACTUALLY about money in itself, rather it’s about the FEAR of not having money. Because without investigating the point clearly, I’ve assumed that there is no money in the humanitarian side of law, and that I must head into the arena of business. Mostly this is a decision I’ve come to through looking at what direction my classmates where going into, and most of them made the decision early on the head into business.

I am able to see that I have in a way lost myself through giving to much attention to what my classmates where doing, or rather, I hadn’t ever actually established myself and MY DIRECTION. WHERE it is that I wish to go and WHY? Thus I have now decided to reevaluate my starting point towards where I’m to place myself in the industry of law – and enquire into where and how it is that I can place myself in the system so that I can make an effective impact in this world, and where it is that I can grow the most as a being and living person. Thus – even though money plays an important role in our lives, it’s as important to make sure that we don’t become these wandering zombies – that only live to survive – but that we have a clear purpose with what we’re doing and ourselves. Because without that life becomes empty and incomplete – because SELF isn’t here actually directing, living, motivating and creating – as fear have instead taken the driver seat.

So, with this I don’t want to say that we should always go with what we ENJOY to do, because at all times, practical reality must be priority – which means that our ability to cover our expenses must be directed. Nevertheless when that point is covered, our focus should shift into creating something more of our ourselves and our lives – and here the point that I see is important is that if we have the ability to do so, we select a profession and a direction in life that we’re passionate about – OR – that we FIND and CREATE such passion towards what we are walking. That we do the research and find ways to contribute to life, society and other people through our expression in our profession – so that our daily living isn’t about just surviving. Meaning – that we instead give life and purpose to what we do – because nothing will do that for us – WE must instead be the directive principle that breath LIFE into our work, profession and other responsibilities in the system – that’s the simplicity of the point.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not gift myself the courage to recognize myself, where I see I will be effective in this life, where I see that I can place myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way lose myself through looking at what others are, or aren’t doing – and comparing my potential future with the potential future of others – and believe that my future must resemble and be just like the future of another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that regardless of the position I place myself within, the one point that remains the same is that I must gift life into my position and placement, that I must breath life and create my living and that nothing and no one will do that for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must gift life to myself and my choice of work – that I must establish a passion for life and create with myself and my living something that is beneficial and supportive and that gives life – and thus create my purpose and not accept and allow my life to merely be for the sake of survival – but to instead clearly establish within myself a directive as to where I am going and why – and make the directive within the principle of oneness and equality as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must accept and allow myself to trust myself when making the decision as to where I am to place myself – that after I’ve looked through the information, looked at myself, and established WHO I AM in relation to the point – then I must accept and allow myself to trust myself – to move forward and create myself in life – and in this I can’t wait for trust to come – I must decide to trust myself and then move ahead and create my life and purpose in relation to the point – to bring in life, passion and care into what I am doing – and to see how I’m able to re-design the point to be a gift that I give to myself as well as others that support life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that regardless of where I will place myself in this world, the thing that is going to remain the same is that I will be the breath of life that either drives, or demotivates the particular point – that I will either be the point that create and moves forward – or the point that will make the work or placement I’m within feel constricted, limited and boring – because I am creating it to be that way – instead of looking at gifts and opportunities that I can take and then learn from and create from – and build life from within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that through deciding on doing business law – not giving humanitarian law a change at all – I actually limited myself and my life – and I made a decision where I didn’t look at where I would grow the most – where I would fit and be effective – and where I would enjoy myself – and thus I made a decision as to where I am going to place myself on the basis of comparing myself with what others are doing – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, get to know myself, to see where in-fact I’d like to place myself, to review myself, reflect and ask myself the difficult questions – and then answer them – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that only making decisions on the basis of money is not effective – because an effective decision must consider ALL aspects and dimensions of a point – and here money is but ONE and not ALL

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give upon myself in terms of creating a life for myself within the category of humanitarian law – thinking that such a prospect will not work effectively for me – and that I will not be able to attain a sufficient amount of money directing myself in such an area of expertise – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve limited myself before even looking any further, or making more extensive investigations into the point – and that I’ve just assumed a direction – and moved within a particular trajectory just because everyone else was doing it – instead of me seeing and finding myself – and me considering who I am – where I’d be effective – where I’d actually enjoy my work and my profession – and towards what I do have a genuine passion that I can expand upon and use a support when I move myself to become more specific and effective in what I’m doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not keep my eyes open, and not unnecessarily close any doors on myself, believing that I have to go into a particular direction in life, just because others are doing that – and also to believe – that because I’ve selected upon a particular direction, then I must always go in that direction, and that there is no room or opportunity for me to change, and move a different way, and in a different direction – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in fear when making decisions as to where I’m to place myself in the future – to limit myself in fear through fearing that I’ll have to stick my decision for the rest of my life – and that it will be wrong – and that I’ll have to pay for that mistake forever – instead of me trusting myself and my stability here – my groundedness – and that I bring life and my stability into what I do – instead of expecting what I do to bring life into me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that my life and reality, and that my profession, and my direction in life is going to bring me passion and zest for life – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I can’t expect what I do to make me alive – and rather I must make what I do come alive – that I must be the point of creation that takes responsibility and brings something to life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it really doesn’t matter where I am, or what I do – because what matters is WHO I AM within and as what I am doing – and whether I’m actually giving myself the point – or whether I’m holding back and accepting and allowing myself to wait for the point to give itself to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hesitant towards and fearful of committing and giving myself to a certain point – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my direction in life to come to me, to want my future and my decisions to already be created, to already be set out and clearly defined – so that I just have to walk into my future – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect and want things to just be there for me – and to believe that what I do is going to complete me – instead of realizing that it will be me completing myself through me accepting and allowing myself to give myself unconditionally what I am doing and walking

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I’m expecting my future to unfold, expecting my profession, my work, and my direction to give me life, and that a creation will just unfold before me – I stop – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I will have to give life to what I do – that I will have to bring purpose, meaning and substance into my profession, my work and my direction – that it will be ME and my decision to gift life that will make all the difference – and thus I commit myself to gift life into what I do – to give myself to my responsibilities, commitments, my profession and direction – to commit myself and really give as I’d like to receive

I commit myself to stop waiting for a direction or profession in my life to give me enjoyment, and to give me purpose and a trajectory – and thus I commit myself to gift this to myself – to see, realize and understand that regardless of where I stand in life – regardless of position – regardless of environment – it’s my responsibility to see the gifts, to see the potentials and to take these – enhance them and create with them something that will be a support for all of life – and all of existence and for myself