Tag Archives: fully

Day 391: Living COMPLETELY

During this week I have focused my application on the immediate living of words in the moment. When I have had a reaction, I have applied a line of self-forgiveness within me, and then I have immediately proceeded to see what word would be supportive for me to live in order to walk through and transcend the reaction. I allowed myself to be unconditional when I looked at the words, to just see what came up, and thus far a couple of interesting words have arisen that I had not applied/lived before – such as the word COMPLETE. And in this blog I am going to expand upon my understanding and application of the word complete.

This word came up within me one morning as I had just woken up, I was preparing to go to work, and I was noticing how stress was building up within me. The stress was primarily about getting to work in time, accomplishing my work, thinking about what I am going to do later in life in terms of work, thinking about whether or whether not I will be able to live in my current house later in life or not; to sum it up – FUTURE ANXIETY. I applied self-forgiveness and looked at what word that could be lived – and then COMPLETE came up within me.

I proceeded to take COMPLETE – I placed it within me chest – and then practiced immediately embodying the word. I could immediately feel a shift in my body – my stance became more upright, stable, certain, yet still, my muscles relaxed and my posture became more natural and balanced. My awareness shifted into what was HERE around me – I was making coffee for myself – hence – I observed and partook in the process with full presence – which was very cool. Then I realized the power of living the word COMPLETE – and how this is a word we as human beings have been really bad at living.

I realized that when living COMPLETE – meaning – I AM COMPLETE HERE – the notion of running, stressing, racing towards or after something becomes ludicrous and nonsensical – what is there to race after if I am COMPLETE here? Why should I think about, constantly strive towards, and attempt and try to achieve something more than myself, when I am COMPLETE?

I then asked myself, if I would consider my current state of living complete, at least in the sense of material standards, who would I be? Would I still be thinking about what kind of job I would have in the future? Would I still be thinking about where I am going to live in the future? In a way, such considerations and thoughts are immaterial – or put differently – unimportant under the circumstances – and if it would so happen that I would die after having made this cup of coffee – then would I ever regret not having lived in a different house? Surely not. My regrets would rather be about who I was as a person, the relationships I was able to create with people in my life, the value and worth that I was able to contribute into the lives of others, the value and worth that I was able to contribute into the life of my own – that would be of importance – that would be relevant – that would be material – and that thus forms a integral part of living the word COMPLETE.

Because living COMPLETE – means that I am COMPLETELY here – and that I make the most – the FULLEST – in every moment to live myself as a COMPLETE person – complete in the sense that I am not separated – spread thin and wide in my mind – where my attention is scattered between all kinds of irrelevant things/ideas/beliefs/emotions/feelings. Standing as the word COMPLETE is thus a completely different experience in comparison to living life from a starting point of inadequacy and feeling incomplete – which so many of us do. And then we try to find completion in our careers, in partners, in children, in all kinds of external manifestations – while all the time missing the point – the living COMPLETE is a matter of principle – a DECISION – that we do and must stand by – and implement in every moment.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word COMPLETE – as being COMPLETELY here in this moment – being COMPLETELY present – completely directive – completely taking part in my process of self-creation and thus not accepting and allowing myself to be separate – separate from the physical – separate from what is real through having thoughts, images, pictures, fantasies, all kinds of distractions in my mind – take me away from what is real HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that completion is not something that I will be able to attain through my external reality, that it is not something that I will be able to earn as money, or acquire as friends, recognition, power or importance – rather – it is something that I must live and apply in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will never be able to attain completion – it must be a decision that I make – I must LIVE completion in order to bring it into manifestation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the word COMPLETE – and accept and allow myself to be scattered into a million of small pieces in my mind – hence forgetting that what is real is HERE – forgetting what I knew and could see as a child – that reality is HERE – and that there is in-fact nothing more to attain/achieve – than what is HERE in a moment – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in a linear way of looking at my life – where it is all processes that goes from A to B – and where there is always a movement from A to B – and thinking that I will only ever be able to relax when I get to B – not seeing, realizing and understanding – that COMPLETION is always HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from COMPLETE – thinking that it is a too good a word for me – and that I will never be able to live or stand as complete – because I have not earned it – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must earn living COMPLETE – that it is something that must come into my life after a long process of showing that I have earned it – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is a word – and that I can make a decision to live it HERE

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself longing, looking at, fearing, worrying about, the future in some way or another, where I project a complete version of myself somewhere out there, that I will only be able to attain after a long and arduous process, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring that point of COMPLETION here – and I see, realize and understand – that COMPLETION is a decision that I live and not something that I can wait for – and it is not something that I will get from my external reality – it will be something that I create/manifest/life as a decision – and hence I commit myself to practice living COMPLETE – to bring all of myself HERE into the physical and to stand FULLY and COMPLETELY here – and to use moments of falling to learn and become better at standing as a COMPLETE and FULL version of myself HERE

 


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Day 389: Using My Time To Do What Matters

With having children one thing that I have realized is the amount of time I used to have at my disposal – BEFORE – having children – which is similar to the realization I had when I started working full time – only then did I understand how much time I had when I did not work full time. It has put into perspective how I use my time. Now, when I sit down to watch a television series, it is not anymore something that I just do. Now is it a decision within me, where I know that if I use this time to look at this series, it will not come back, and I that I will not be able to do the other things I considered. Hence, what having children has opened up has been my relationship to time and what I spend it on.

Because, time is a resource, which only becomes visible and valuable when there is little of it. When people face terminal illnesses, the time left at their disposal becomes invaluable. Or, when a father or mother gets a days vacation, without the presence children to be cared for or household chores to be done, that day becomes precious. Now when I have a child, I understand. I understand why people look and meticulously plan for and dream about their summer vacation – it is all about time. However, what I cannot help to ask is why we do not learn and push ourselves to develop this respectful relationship to time regardless of how much of it we have at our disposal. Would it no have been awesome if we as children and young adults would have used and cherished all that time we had and used it constructively to support ourselves and the building of our future? I say that it would have been.

Unfortunately I cannot go back in time, thus I will have to make due with what is here, and currently there is very little time at my disposal. Hence, what I can do is to push myself to really use, cherish, and hold this time tightly, to make sure that I do not waste a second – where wasting would be to drift off in my thoughts, to remain in a emotional experience, to feel bored, depressed, or listless – MAN – there is no TIME for such nonsense! Because life is meant to be SENSED – and we are meant to ACTIVELY engage with life on all levels of creation. And I find that small children do this very well. They are very attuned to their physical surroundings and live in every moment – FULLY – that is what I mean with USING time – living FULLY – and that is what I want to do and experience with my life.

Hence – I will make sure that I do utilize all of my life – all of my time fully – to not remain in the backseat accepting and allowing things to proceed as they have – on routine – no – I will push myself to life and engage with life actively at any opportunity I get.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in automation mode – and to believe/act is if I have all the time in the world – and as if there are no consequences to wasting my time – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here and actively push myself to live actively – to live in the moment – to use my moments to support myself – to if I have a moment – some time available – to make sure that I utilize it in a way that is supportive and that moves me forward – and that I do not fall into the trap of entertainment and existing but only to be distracted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become distracted and lose my connection with physical reality through thinking – through imagination – through spending my time/my breaths in my mind instead of being HERE within and as physical reality – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am losing my connection with what is real – here – when and as I accept and allow myself to become obsessed about external points – or entertainment in the form of thoughts arising in my mind – and hence I see, realize and understand that the solution is to breathe and to make sure that my focus – that my attention – that my HERE – my presence and living is HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that in order to live fully, I require to let go of my distractions, let go of my mind, let go of my fantasies, let go of me wanting to exist and remain within and as a state and condition of inner experience/feeling/happiness – where I utilize my thoughts to drug myself into a state of non-recognition – where I am not really here with the physical – and thus I commit myself to effectively in every moment bring myself back to life and living by breathing and remaining practical/physical here – as I see, realize and understand that this is the solution – this is the way forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize my time effectively – and hence I see, realize and understand that utilizing my time effectively means that I live/create/move myself in every moment – that I do not wait or postpone or make myself dependent upon my mind for me to create and live – but that every breath is a moment of creation – a moment of bringing myself back here – a moment of grounding myself into what is real – into physical living and participation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not in every moment remind myself what is real – that it is not the thoughts racing around in my mind – but that it is my breath – that it is my physical, grounded stability here – that is what I am able to trust – that is what I am able to stand by – that is what I am able to hold within me – as I see that this is what I can always fall back upon when things get tough – that my breath is a sacred place of movement and expansion – that here I am able to return in every moment to seek support and assistance and to find direction when there is seemingly none to be found – moment to moment

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming distracted by thoughts, or distracted by pictures/movements in my external reality, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that I am in this moment separating myself from the physical, separating myself from what is real, accepting and allowing myself to become passenger to my mind instead of actively creating myself – and hence I commit myself to take a breath and bring myself back here to actively and fully create myself – and to do that through breathing, coming back to my breath, back into my physical, back into my grounded stability, and that I then proceed to move from HERE and forward into life

 


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Day 344: Removing Projections

Future projections and dreams, if I have realized one thing in this process, it is how easily we can deceive ourselves by accepting and allowing ourselves to participate in the idea of a more fulfilling future. It is soooo easy – one moment when we lose touch with our breath – and a imagination regarding future comes up – and whoop – we are gone with the wind. The treacherous thing about future projections is that they are usually accompanied with some form of positive experience. Hence it is easy to believe that future projections is a positive/good/empowering pattern within ourselves. However, that is not the case, because the consequence of future projections is: Waiting instead of acting, not committing to what is here, not participating with what is here, and hoping instead of living. Basically, future projections makes us slave to a mental projection in our minds, and does not support us to LIVE.

Let me give you a practical example from my own life. During my university studies I found within me a deep and passionate love for learning. I enjoyed to read, to take in information, and to push myself to excel in my studies. However, while I was doing this, at the same time, there was within me a projection, an idea of where I was supposed to go in the future. Without me seeing it at the time, I was through holding unto that projection, my idea of what profession I would enter, what future I was supposed to have, and what I wanted to experience, already conditioning my relationship to my studies. I developed a tendency of only committing myself to certain parts and aspects of my studies that I deemed to be worthwhile in consideration of how I would best be able to realize my future projection. Through doing that, I missed out on a lot. Because there were many aspects of my studies that I could have committed myself to walk and get to know even better, if I had not held unto that future projection.

Thus, this all goes to show the importance of not conditioning our current expression, movement, and direction, that takes place in each and every moment of breath, according to a idea, a future projection, an illusion of where we are supposed to go. There is SO much to learn, so many areas of life in which we are able to expand, improve, and practice changing ourselves to the better – HOWEVER – when we close ourselves off to that part of life through constantly thinking about and looking at some distant future that is not here – we will not give ourselves access to that eternal well of expansion that is always HERE.

This also brings me into a different though closely related point – TIME – and how we use our time on this earth. When we always strive for something different to what is here – then we are NOT using our time effectively – because – we are not IN TIME – moving WITH TIME – but rather racing towards a time somewhere in the distant future. Life, reality, relationships, developing and creating ourselves – that is a process that will only always be HERE. If we are not HERE – then that process will be out of our reach. Thus – the importance of pushing presence – awareness – and HERE-living.

Now, how do we change from living in the future, in a projection, to instead, living HERE? One solution that I see, is to give myself FULLY to the MOMENTS of my life. Lets say that in one moment, I am participating on a chat. To then give myself FULLY to that moment would be to go into and participate in that chat with presence, awareness and vigor – it would be to have my mind and my attention placed fully here on what I am doing – not being separated through for example – thinking about what I am going to eat after the chat – but committing myself FULLY – FULLY living – FULLY communicating – FULLY relating – FULLY interacting – FULLY responding – being FULLY here – and not split in a millions pieces within myself as thoughts, and projections, as ideas of where I should go, who I should be, what I should do, and what not.

The solution to the illusion of a fuller life out there – is to become that FULL life HERE through FULLY living – and FULLY living being – to take part FULLY in every moment with ALL of MYSELF – and not half-arsing my way through life believing that such a participation is in anyway resembling what real living expression is all about.


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