Tag Archives: future

Day 383: Projections and Imaginations

I find it easy to become distracted by material things. For a while I have becoming increasingly enthusiastic, and equally anxious about changing/altering/refining certain parts of my living quarters. From being an innocent hobby, it has escalated, and moved, and now, I am basically daily imagining and fantasizing about new projects. The problem is that it is done, usually, from a starting point of anxiety, from a starting point of lack, where I perceive that there is something amiss in my life at the moment, and that I desperately need to direct/change/alter the point in order to streamline my life. Hence, the problem is not the actual changes, alterations I want to make, the problem is WHO I AM. I see this experience as symptomatic – and fact is that I suspect it actually originates in a different part of my life – and that it then moves itself into for example the dimension of my life where I deal with hobbies.

Thus – the problem I would say – the actual deep rooted problem – is my habit of approaching things from within and as a starting point of lack/anxiety – because if I would have not done that – then the projects I see around my home would simply have been that – projects – that I might or might not get to one day that does not change WHO I AM in anyway what-so-ever. That is the point that I want to get to. Because I do not want to distract myself, and exist in this state of continuous fear/lack/anxiety that I am missing something, or that there is something I should be doing, that I am not doing. I will thus push myself to live the word abundance – to embrace the abundance that is all around me in my life in the form of the physical with all its various expressions – nature, breathing, sensations, physical relationships, I mean there is so much to be aware of and discover, that disappears when I accept and allow my mind to be cluttered by anxiety/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on new projects in my mind, and then become stressed when I notice that I do not have the time to fulfill/walk them completely, and then become stressed and anxious, because I still try to walk and complete them – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this behavior – to not question why I feel that need and urge to continue walking and pushing myself to complete and fulfill a particular point even though I notice there is not enough time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with taking on and moving new points into and as a form of fulfillment and completion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to make my environment, my life, and my world seem perfect, and then create, and form all of these projects in my mind that I perceive I have to get to and finish for my life, and world to become what I want it to become, instead of remaining stable, and questioning this way of approaching life, questioning, why the hell I get this experience within me, and why I feel there is such a shortage of time, and why I require, or feel the requirement, and need to push myself so severely, and harshly, to ‘get by’ and ‘make it’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with achieving perfection in my outside world and reality – not seeing, realizing and understanding how this is literally a distraction – something that captures the attention of my mind – a point that I get focused and hooked upon – where I then lose touch and connection with reality because all of myself – all of my mind – is caught up in this state and experience of wanting to achieve perfection – picture perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to achieve material perfection through altering and changing my life to make sure that all parts of it works – and is perfect – that there is no flow – no mistake – nothing in my life that in anyway gives away that there is a problem and difficulty in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this way of becoming obsessed with the material side of my world as a way to escape and distract myself from walking my inner process of self-change and movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand what this tendency is showing to me – is that I too serious within myself when it comes to material success in this world – and that I am accepting and allowing myself to be all too possessed with making sure that I acquire material success and notoriety – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – and smell the roses – to push myself to walk in the moment and not be so serious and determined to reach some kind of future that is not even here – to reach a future that I am not even able to at this moment clarify to myself exactly where it is that I am going and why

When and as I see myself going into a imagination, looking at, projecting myself into the future, from a starting point of lack/anxiety/fear – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this way of approaching life is not realistic – it is based on a idea of lack and that I have to fight/move/push hard in order to stabilize my value and get to a point of equality – instead of embracing my equality HERE – embracing the abundance that is HERE – seeing, realizing and understanding that I do not need nor do I require to accept and allow myself to limit who I am according to what I am able to produce and build, create, in the external – and thus I commit myself to breathe – to let go of material possessions and the anxiety/fear related to these – and I commit myself to live abundance within and as every moment of breath – to use each moment to integrate and stand with and as my human physical body – and the abundance that is HERE

 


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Day 375: Avoiding False Aspirations

There are a lot of highly motivated people in our world, that move themselves with determination and drive, that are entirely focused on achieving some form of goal for themselves. However, there are very few people that have actually considered and picked their goal carefully, or that have formulated their vision within the context of what is best for all. The characteristics drive, determination and focus are thus usually utilized acquire some form of self-interested success that does not hold any value to anybody else but to the one desiring it. Obviously, in some parts of our lives, our aspirations must be, to a certain extent be self-interested due to the set-up of this world system. For example, it is not possible, or at least it is very difficult, to survive, if your aspirations in terms of career are solely to benefit others. Then you will end up volunteering and it will be difficult to acquire the necessary funds to survive.

However, in this blog I am going to discuss this tendency we humans have, that I have found in myself as well, to want to move on and manifest our desires, without ever having questioned the nature of our desires, without having looked into the value of manifesting that desire. Instead it is something that we want to do, because we feel good when we think about it, and that will be enough to propel us forward. Though, what I have seen, is that a goal should also have a value for others. It is not enough to just create things for ourselves and our own pleasure, not in a world where we are interconnected and dependent on one another.

Thus lately when I have had desires come up within me, especially desires connected to wanting to drive and move certain projects, I have asked myself: ‘Okay, cool, though what is the value that will flow from this? Why is it that I am want to do this?’ – and fascinatingly enough – many times I have not been able to pinpoint an actual value – rather it has just been a feeling/experience coming up within me connected to a dream/projection/image that I then feel inclined and motivated to move on. Before, I would have immediately moved myself into action, now on the other hand, I have been able to stop myself, look at the experience, and see the underlying energy – and through that understand that it was not even about the dream/projection/image – it was all about the energy.

Movement in the physical, decisions to create/manifest/build, I have seen that they are best made in stability. It is so easy to become fooled by an experience, and then suddenly believe that this experience is accurately depicting reality. One example of this from my own life has been how I at times have felt an urge/desire to buy books. I have been browsing the web, and checking out various titles, and then imagining how I would read the book, and how that would improve my intellect and my knowledge-bank – hence – the desire/energy/movement that has come up within has been the experience of wanting to expand/grow/move/develop. However, I have bought quite a lot of books in this state of energy, and interestingly enough, I have only but read a few of them. Why? Because reading the book was NOT AT ALL similar to the experience/energy attached to picturing myself reading the book.

What does this showcase? That the physical plays by different rules, and that what we FEEL towards something, does not indicate or reveal that ACTUALITY of that very thing – which is why I found it to be SO, SO important to clarify my decisions using COMMON SENSE. Asking myself the question ‘is this practical to do?’ goes a long way – because through assessing the point of practicality we have already weeded out the most unrealistic hopes/desires/wants – and also – removed the dreams/desires where we think we are creating a value – while in reality we are only fulfilling and following our own self-interested path of development and evolution.

Planning, deciding on goals and what to manifest/create in the future is not supposed to conjure any form of experience – it is supposed to be a physical act of looking at what is here and seeing what can be done and created with what is here in the future – and preferably – what can be created that is best for all. That way, we are not anymore as susceptible to become swept away by the grandiose experiences of hope, excitement and desire in relation to manifesting future goals for ourselves – rather it becomes practical and realistic.


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Day 371: Chilling Out

Some time has passed since I finished my studies and got my first job – and in it has been a process with some changes. One of the biggest shifts has been that I have had a lot less time while working compared to when I was studying. This change took me by surprise and a couple of times, especially lately, I have reacted to the point that I do not have more time to my disposal. Instead of embracing the my life at moment simply does not contain the amount of leisure time that I had access to before, I have tried to handle it within the starting point of making myself more efficient. I do see that such a application is a cool way to tackle lack of time, however, it is also important to make sure that the decision to practice time efficiency is not based on fear or a reaction towards not having as much time  when compared to the past.

Last week I really pushed time efficiency, though afterwards, I could see that it was from within and as a starting point of fear – because I scurried about trying to do as much as possible without really getting anything done – and as I woke up the next morning – I could literally feel in my body how I had been moving myself too fast the day before. Another point that I could notice with how I moved myself was the way I prioritized the different activities/tasks were not effectively aligned. I felt pressured to continue certain tasks, that when looking at them objectively, were not in any way as urgent as I made them out to be.

Thus, there is a difference between being efficient with time and being stressed/uptight about time. The latter way of relating to time is when we believe that we should strive towards getting as much done as possible. Obviously, getting a lot of things done does not in itself mean that our life will be effectively organized and directed – because for us to be effective in that regard as well – we must be able to prioritize, to see the big picture, and ascertain as well as specify what order activities/tasks should be walked. When we are able to do that, as well as being efficient with our time, then we are making real progress.

However, just scurrying about trying to do as much as possible, that is not only inefficient, it also puts a strain on the body. The body should always be considered in any type of schedule. If we do not make space and time for the body to recuperate and rejuvenate from labor we will not be effective and in time our body will show physical symptoms of our disregard. That is why time efficiency does not imply ‘doing things as fast as possible’ – rather – being efficient with time is to know the limits of the physical, to plan and organize effectively, and to prioritize, and not become stressed/anxious/worried when there simply is not enough time for certain tasks/activities. If that happens, it is better to simply let them go, and then when time opens up another day, to then pursue the point.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become winded up when I notice that I do not have enough time to do everything I have planned, and then try to force the execution and creation of my plans into reality, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that I am by doing that creating consequences for myself, I am harming myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to force my plans and visions into creation instead of walking breath by breath – HERE in the physical – not accepting and allowing myself to attempt try to skip steps and move to fast – but to see, realize and understand that my movement and creation of points will be efficient – when I walk HERE – in the physical – not trying to do more than – or less than – but remaining in the physical – doing things breath by breath – moving points breath by breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself in balance and equilibrium with my external reality – and to within this see, realize and understand – that when I try to force points from within and as a starting point of stress – I am creating consequences for my human physical body – and then – further – I am creating consequences in the sense that what I do is usually not done very effectively – because I rush through it – trying to complete it – not seeing, realizing and understanding that for an expression to come through nicely – I must invest the time and effort required – and that cannot be controlled by my stress and urge to get points done now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to force the creation of time, to force getting and having more time on my hands, and to go into an emotional turmoil and conflict when I feel that there is not enough time to do what I have planned – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is not the time that I push and change, it is rather my planning, my organization and my priorities – and also see that when I attempt and try to force points into creation – prematurely birthing them and placing them into this world even though the prerequisites for such a creation is not here – then I am creating consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not chill out – to allow myself to let go of the need, the urge, to complete certain tasks – to asks myself in self-honesty whether it is in-fact as important to complete this point that I am looking as it seems and feels inside of my mind – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, to bring myself back here to and as my human physical body, and to move with breath, to move with the physical, to move one step at a time, and to assess in each moment if it works, if I am moving myself effectively – and if I am satisfied with how the point is playing out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate getting things done with a positive feeling – to think that it is positive, it is good, it is beneficial the more things that I get done – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this premise – because why would it be good the more things I get done? There is nothing within getting things done that in itself creates a better me, or a better world, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that I have been indoctrinated into a ‘productive’ mind-set – where the production is what matters – the amount of products produced – and not the presence within that production and work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value quantity before quality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there is a value in how I get things done – to see that it is not only about producing and showing a product – it is also about who I am in the making and creation of that product – because if I am running around in a state of stress – then what does it really mean to be able to create a lot of things? Because I am not really HERE anyway – I am not really living anyway – so what does it then matter that I am able to produce and create a lot of things?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice comfortable and easy-going – chilled out – movement – to move myself breath by breath – from point to point – getting things done in a steady and consistent pace – not accepting and allowing myself to become rushed – and then attempt and try to rush the completion of what I am doing so that I can get to the next point – no – I move myself breath by breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I will get things done – maybe not now – but if I stick to the point and I move myself consistently – little by little – day by day – then I will move the point into completion eventually – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have this expansive way of viewing my reality – where I see the entire timeline of a creation stretched out into the future – and I do not accept and allow myself to become zoned in and possessed with wanting to and trying to finish and complete something HERE in this moment

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am rushing myself, forcing myself to move to get as many points done as possible, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself, and I see, realize and understand that being efficient with time, also implies moving myself consistently, with a comfortable pace for my body, taking breaks and moments to support my body – being realistic about what can be done, prioritizing and making sure that I pursue the most important tasks first and organizing and planning my time – and also having an overview – seeing that some projects and tasks will take longer to complete – and that it is nothing wrong in itself – it is simply what it is – that is how physical reality operates – certain points takes time; thus I commit myself to move myself breath by breath – and when I get stressed or I notice that I jump in my thought processes between various projects – I take a breath – I ground myself back here – and I continue to move myself in a comfortable pace with the ONE project I got going HERE

And – I commit myself to develop the skills of prioritizing, planning and organizing – to as such develop an overview of my life – and also learn what is important and what is not – to understand within this that to produce is not what matters – what matters is who I am within that – and that I am creating a life for myself and others that is effective and supportive in all dimensions and aspects of living


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Day 368: Trying To Relieve Stress for Money With More Money

It is not possible to achieve a state of fearlessness and comfort in using money through making more money – however – this is a belief that I have held and one of the prime driving forces that have motivated me to expand in relation to money. This is not a sound relationship to have in relation to money as is shown in THIS interview. An effective relationship with money is practical – money is something we earn to be use – to fulfill certain needs that must be directed to create an effective life – and that is it.

Money in itself does not cause stress – lacking money does not in itself cause stress – and having more is thus not something that will relieve stress – the ONLY solution is to look within and establish the actual cause of the stress – forgive it – and commit to change into a more effective way of life.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to relieve anxiety and stress in relation to money through making more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that more money will not relieve stress, rather me dealing with and directing my money fears will relieve fears – and thus I see, realize and understand – that in order to be effective with money – I must release and let go of all of these money fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money because I believe that money is god over my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to serve my god, to serve my fears, and in the belief it will help me to retain and keep money in my life – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the solution is not more money, the solution is to transcend and move through my money fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money, and fear the system of money, and believe that I am inferior to money, and that a good way of ensuring a stable relationship with money is to fear and experience anxiety around money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that instead of fearing money, a more effective strategy to effectively work with money, is to learn about money, to develop practical money strategies and tactics so that I can use money more effectively in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that money is a tool, and as with any tool, I have to learn how to use it effectively – and when I have any form of reaction or experience in relation to the tool – it will make me less efficient with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money, not seeing, realizing and understanding that money is not dangerous – and that in-fact – it is not money I fear – I fear what I have projected into money – which is that my life will fall apart – that I will lose control and fall

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use my fears in relation to money to investigate and see myself – to get to know all my hangups so that I can transcend them – and move through them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior in relation to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as incapable, and thus believe that I am incapable of getting money, and that I am incapable of handling my life without money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money is the key to peace – and to believe that when I have achieved a certain amount of money, then I will be able to let go, to finally walk this earth without fear, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am in-fact limiting myself extensively by projecting my desire, and my want for peace into money – which cannot ever give me that – because with peace – I have to give it to myself through actually transcending and letting go of my emotional bodies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the power I have to create, and that I have projected this power unto money – believing that money is the source of my inner and outer reality and that as long as I fear money – I have money under control and will thus be able to bring it into my existence on a regular basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself for fearing money – take charge of my relationship with money – and define this relationship as a practical and physical relationship – based within the practical premises of the physical – where there thus is nothing more or less than me handling and using money in the physical HERE

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into fear in relation to money, and motivating myself to have more money, through believing that I can get to a point of peace that way, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that it is not a solution to get more money as that will not give me peace – and it is not a solution to strive for peace through trying to achieve and get more material possessions – and in-fact it is not a solution what so ever to believe that something external can give me what I need on a internal basis – and thus I commit myself to bring my attention back HERE – to look within me at what is stirring – and immediately push myself to do self-forgiveness – apply corrective statements – and then live these in my physical reality – thus creating peace for and as myself

I commit myself to use money practically – and to develop a practical, physical and simplistic relationship with money – where money is a tool that I use – it is not more than or less than that


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Day 363: Self-Expansion, What is it?

Self-expansion, what does that mean? How are we able to live self-expansion in our lives in a practical, concrete and simple way?

These are questions that I will be walking for the coming week, as I will delve into and practice making the SELF-EXPANSION part of my daily life. Thus far I have seen that living self-expansion in a moment can be about making a decision to walk a different path than what I have done before. This point opened up to me as I was talking to my partner. I could sense that our discussion was moving towards subjects that we usually disagree on, and that a part of me was already preparing and bracing for a coming conflict. In that moment, I decided to change my approach. I decided to not participate in the discussion from a starting point of conflict, but instead look at how I could expand myself as well as my partner through the way I was communicating and sharing myself. I could see that there were many points of potential expansion hidden behind the veil of emotion that a conflict situation usually brings about. Hence I pushed myself to open up and communicate about those points of expansion which I could and it changed how I experienced myself – and instead of having a conflict that would harm both me and my partner – I was able to expand.

Hence, what I am able to see thus far about the word SELF-EXPANSION is that it is ALWAYS here, and the situations/circumstances/parts of our lives that contain most of these self-expansion opportunities are those where we have accepted some form of emotional or feeling possession to take control. In those moments, when we notice that an emotion or feeling is on the rise, a supportive correction is to stop up and instead ask: ‘How am I able to EXPAND in this moment?’ – and then actively look for ways in which to change the direction of the moment, from walking the normal, trite sequence of events, that we know all to well where they will lead us – to instead deciding upon a new path for ourselves.

I find that self-expansion is similar to what Neo faced in first movie in The Matrix trilogy, where Neo initially wanted to bail, and Trinity said the following to him: ‘Because you have been down there, Neo. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends. And I know that’s not where you want to be.’ The same is true with the decision we make in the moment to expand ourselves, because we do have a choice, to either go down the same path that we have done before, and we know where it ends, and that we are never satisfied with the results it brings, OR – to make a decision to create something NEW – to deliberately MOVE ourselves into SELF-EXPANSION.

In the dictionary – Expand is defined as:

Become or make larger or more extensive

If we then add SELF before expansion – this adds up to SELF in a moment becoming larger or more extensive – and obviously it is not about body mass. It is about enlarging and expanding our own stand – allowing ourselves to become MORE than what we have been – to expand and guide and move ourselves to be able to live in a way that is BEST.


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Day 362: Remembering Things

Sometimes I have difficult remembering things and usually it will be things like buying certain types of foods, or taking care of this or that responsibility. To prevent it I have tried various techniques, such as for example, using my calendar more effectively, using checklists and writing things down immediately. To a certain extent this has worked well, however, I still find that there is a tendency within me to forget.

Another interesting aspect of this is that I do not have the same difficulties in my job, or with points that are in the sphere of my interests and hobbies, or with other things that I care deeply about. I have thus seen that this point of having difficulty to remember certain things is not about memory in itself, it is about who I am in relation to memory and how I have conditioned myself to exist within myself in certain moments.

Let me share an example; a family member comes into my life. This person says asks me whether I am able to pick up X after work. I tell the person that sure, I can do that. The family member then proceeds the explain the details of the pick-up to me. This would then be a moment where I would start to feel slightly bored, unfocused, and zone out. Not because I have a short attention span, but because I do not value this particular aspect of my life as much as I would with for example my work. Hence, I would not put as much energy/presence/focus into this moment as I would if I had instead, as an example, received instructions from my colleague. The consequence of this pattern is that I would miss important information that my family member shares with me, or that I would only integrate the information on a superficial level in my mind, and that it would because of that disappear at a later stage.

What I have realized is that the real issue is how I value things, and in particular, that I have created a belief that I only have a limited amount of attention/presence/life to give to each part of my life – and that I am thus not able to value all parts of my life equally.

The solution is to push myself to value all parts of my life equally. Practically, this I will do by pushing myself to be present and fully here in all contexts of my life, and in particular, when there is a moment of relaying information, because then, if I am not fully here, I will miss the information and create consequences for myself and others at a later stage. I also see that part of the solution involves creating routines for writing down the things that I have to remember, and learning how to integrate and use a calendar more effectively in my daily life.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I only have so much energy that I can spend, and that I cannot be fully invested in all parts of my life, but that I need to save, and spend my energy carefully, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that when I am HERE – I have full access to the moment and there is no need for an energy/feeling/emotion to drive me – I drive myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to remain attentive, focused and HERE when it comes to planning, discussing and sharing responsibilities in my home environment – and I see, realize and understand that the solution is not complex, advanced, or difficult to apply, it simply to change WHO I AM in the moment of interaction, and instead be HERE fully

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to be effective in my life, I must be HERE, and that I will create consequences for myself by placing different values on different parts of my life – because what I am doing then is that I am separating myself from that very aspect of my life – and instead approach it within either a high strung energy or a low strung energy – instead of simply walking that part of my life as a physical being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value my home environment, my personal and family relationships as much as I do with for example, work, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is showing me something about myself, and my relationship with me, where I thus must ask myself, where am I not valuing my personal relationship with me? Where am I placing my relationship and agreement with myself second, but instead giving all of myself to for example, work?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value my personal relationship with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take my personal relationship with myself seriously

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take myself seriously

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take my relationship with my body seriously, but to instead value work more, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create these very defined, compartmentalized rooms in my life, where I place a certain value on the content of each room, instead of accepting and allowing myself to approach my life as a whole, as one, and thus not create any separation within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value myself, and believe that it is normal, and that it is good for me to place a higher value on my work for example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be HERE in all parts of my life, and to value the manifestations and expressions of my life equally, to look at all that is here as ONE, and not compartmentalize and limit myself, and believe that I only have ‘so much energy’ to spend, and that I thus must keep myself contained, limited, and held back, to be able to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my survival is dependent upon me holding myself back, keeping myself in check and in control, and to believe that I must sparsely give of myself in my life, that I must save, and not waste myself on anything unnecessary, because then, apparently, I will not have the energy to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my survival is dependent on me not squandering my attention/focus/presence on things that are not important to me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself – believing that my attention/focus/presence is limited and that I must save it – that I must keep it tight and close to my heart – because else I might spend it unwisely and then I will not have anything left for the important parts of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not place value on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the value within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize real value – to not see that I do have value – and that my value is what I gift to this world that supports life to move towards expressing its utmost potential

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself ‘zoning out’ when I am discussing responsibilities and commitments, or other things, that include a dimension of remembering something for later, I take a breath, I bring myself back here – and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that when I do this – what I create is forgetfulness – because I was not HERE – fully – completely in the moment – the information does not integrate – hence I commit myself to be BREATH and come back here in the physical and attentively listen to what the other is saying – and ask questions if anything is unclear – and then – if the point that must be remembered lies some time ahead in the future – as soon as I have the possibility to do so – I write the information down in my calendar

I commit myself to practically value all parts of my life equally, through pushing myself to be equally focused/attentive/here regardless of where I am at – regardless of whether I am at work – or whether I am at home


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Day 362: It Is Not About The Plan, It Is About Who We Are

Today after I had waken up, I gave myself a moment to just sit, breath, drink my coffee and map out my day. It was restful, and any thought, projection, or inner vision that came up, I stopped it and brought myself back to breathing. At one point I had an experience of stress arise within me, and together with it a line backchat: ‘I cannot sit here and waste away all my morning just breathing, I have to get up and do stuff’. I breathed and let go of the stress, and brought myself back here.

Afterwards I felt relaxed and clear within me, and with ease I flowed into the rest of my day, and began taking care of my responsibilities and commitments. I experienced myself differently than otherwise, I was more stable, I moved slower, and fascinatingly enough, I was a lot more effective than normal. Things seemed to do themselves when I was around – and I moved myself from task, to task, until, I was done.

Reflecting on my day I can see that the reason as to why I had such a smooth and easy experience, and why I could move myself with ease, yet still get a lot done, was because of how it all started. I allowed myself to begin my day in stability, with clarity, grounded HERE in my human physical body – and that set the tone. I find it very interesting that things we perceive to be a waste of time, might actually be that which will make us more effective and get more things done – that which will fuel us to keep moving, and keep our focus and direction. Efficiency is not necessarily fast, it can also be slow, methodical, relaxed – a state of being that allows for physical energy to be used in a sustainable way. From a different perspective it is obvious common sense, because how can we expect to be efficient, if we have so much going on within ourselves that demands our attention.

This also exemplifies another point, we cannot beforehand judge a particular activity as either being supportive or not. Even though we might have a lot to do, many responsibilities that needs tending, it might be beneficial to sit down, and for a moment do nothing at all. Thus, we cannot judge activities based on our inner preconceived definitions and ideas, our own pre-programmed value system – because living effectively is not about following the norm – it is about creating a new supportive way of living and standing as an example for others so that we are able to change life on this earth as an express of who we are.

Another interesting point is that I was a lot more effective when I was silent, moved slowly, and took time for myself to stabilize before I took action. The same goes for walking any point in the world system. If we try to take action and make a difference out there, without first having done that for ourselves, without first having stabilized, cleared and supported ourselves to become stable, then we will face a lot of conflict. This happened to me, where I for example, was not even able to make a proper decision as to selecting a direction for myself in the world system, because I still accepted and allow too much fear within me in relation to my future.

Self must come first, then we can begin to walk our outside world. Our standing must be clear and stable, then we can begin to impart our awareness unto those around us. If there is conflict in our world in some way or another, the first thing that should be looked at is self – what is going on within? Is there a misalignment, a reaction, a program that has been allowed to run unchecked? Because even though we might believe that our world is separate from us – on a physical level that is not true – we do impact and move our reality in many ways – and the key to stability begins with clearing and correcting the inner reality.


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