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Day 383: Projections and Imaginations

I find it easy to become distracted by material things. For a while I have becoming increasingly enthusiastic, and equally anxious about changing/altering/refining certain parts of my living quarters. From being an innocent hobby, it has escalated, and moved, and now, I am basically daily imagining and fantasizing about new projects. The problem is that it is done, usually, from a starting point of anxiety, from a starting point of lack, where I perceive that there is something amiss in my life at the moment, and that I desperately need to direct/change/alter the point in order to streamline my life. Hence, the problem is not the actual changes, alterations I want to make, the problem is WHO I AM. I see this experience as symptomatic – and fact is that I suspect it actually originates in a different part of my life – and that it then moves itself into for example the dimension of my life where I deal with hobbies.

Thus – the problem I would say – the actual deep rooted problem – is my habit of approaching things from within and as a starting point of lack/anxiety – because if I would have not done that – then the projects I see around my home would simply have been that – projects – that I might or might not get to one day that does not change WHO I AM in anyway what-so-ever. That is the point that I want to get to. Because I do not want to distract myself, and exist in this state of continuous fear/lack/anxiety that I am missing something, or that there is something I should be doing, that I am not doing. I will thus push myself to live the word abundance – to embrace the abundance that is all around me in my life in the form of the physical with all its various expressions – nature, breathing, sensations, physical relationships, I mean there is so much to be aware of and discover, that disappears when I accept and allow my mind to be cluttered by anxiety/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on new projects in my mind, and then become stressed when I notice that I do not have the time to fulfill/walk them completely, and then become stressed and anxious, because I still try to walk and complete them – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this behavior – to not question why I feel that need and urge to continue walking and pushing myself to complete and fulfill a particular point even though I notice there is not enough time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with taking on and moving new points into and as a form of fulfillment and completion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to make my environment, my life, and my world seem perfect, and then create, and form all of these projects in my mind that I perceive I have to get to and finish for my life, and world to become what I want it to become, instead of remaining stable, and questioning this way of approaching life, questioning, why the hell I get this experience within me, and why I feel there is such a shortage of time, and why I require, or feel the requirement, and need to push myself so severely, and harshly, to ‘get by’ and ‘make it’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with achieving perfection in my outside world and reality – not seeing, realizing and understanding how this is literally a distraction – something that captures the attention of my mind – a point that I get focused and hooked upon – where I then lose touch and connection with reality because all of myself – all of my mind – is caught up in this state and experience of wanting to achieve perfection – picture perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to achieve material perfection through altering and changing my life to make sure that all parts of it works – and is perfect – that there is no flow – no mistake – nothing in my life that in anyway gives away that there is a problem and difficulty in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this way of becoming obsessed with the material side of my world as a way to escape and distract myself from walking my inner process of self-change and movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand what this tendency is showing to me – is that I too serious within myself when it comes to material success in this world – and that I am accepting and allowing myself to be all too possessed with making sure that I acquire material success and notoriety – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – and smell the roses – to push myself to walk in the moment and not be so serious and determined to reach some kind of future that is not even here – to reach a future that I am not even able to at this moment clarify to myself exactly where it is that I am going and why

When and as I see myself going into a imagination, looking at, projecting myself into the future, from a starting point of lack/anxiety/fear – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this way of approaching life is not realistic – it is based on a idea of lack and that I have to fight/move/push hard in order to stabilize my value and get to a point of equality – instead of embracing my equality HERE – embracing the abundance that is HERE – seeing, realizing and understanding that I do not need nor do I require to accept and allow myself to limit who I am according to what I am able to produce and build, create, in the external – and thus I commit myself to breathe – to let go of material possessions and the anxiety/fear related to these – and I commit myself to live abundance within and as every moment of breath – to use each moment to integrate and stand with and as my human physical body – and the abundance that is HERE

 


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Day 300: Living The Word Thorough

I have now pushed myself to live and apply the word thorough for about a week. During this time I have realized that living thoroughness is about pushing through in the small moments, in those moments when I would like to ‘just move on’ – ‘to get done’ – ‘to leave it as it is’ – and instead, then,  give that little extra of myself to finalize and complete the task at hand so that the result is not only good, but the best that it can be.

What I have found in this process is that the number one enemy to thoroughness is stress, impatience and laziness. Being thorough is closely connected to patience, and patience cannot come through when I stress. Because living thorough means taking a point through, from beginning to end, walking each part of the creation into completion, not jumping ahead, or skipping steps, but walking all steps as is required to fulfill the creation. And when I stress, that is not possible, as I will try to gain time by jumping ahead, by moving fast and without precision, and that means I will miss steps in the creation process. Thus, not walking each part of the creation into completion.

To effectively live the word thoroughness, what is required hence a silence and stability within and as myself. Without that silence and stability, thoroughness is very difficult if not impossible to embody, as my thoughts will jump all over the place, and my mind will not be able to focus on the creation process that is HERE and right before me. And this is yet another key to living thorough – FOCUS – because in being thorough, there is a attention on this moment here, and the part of creation that is walked here – as such the attention cannot be split into the future or past at what could and what could have been – that will compromise the creation taking place in this moment. What comes through in the sound of thorough is – THROUGH heremeaning that is through being HERE that creation can be taken into perfection.

This hit me today, how much of our lives we do on auto mode, and how much we miss because of that. Consider for example, how few people get really good at cooking. Yet still, this is something we do nearly each day. What differs those becoming really good from those that do not? One thing is presence and awareness, those that learn and evolve in a particular skill are ACTIVELY engaging with reality – actively pushing themselves to learn more, enhance their skills and abilities – and as such they are FOCUSED on reality – and thorough – making sure that they are aware and attentive of each step in the process of creation. Hence, living thorough is a way of getting to that point within self of actively participating and engaging with reality, where things are not left half-done, or average, but where each step is pushed and finalized; as they say – The Devil is in the Details.

Day 278: Giving

I woke up this morning and noticed that there was a form of stress or anxiety present in my chest. I took a moment and looked within me to see where this stress and anxiety came from. What I could see was that this stress and anxiety was connected to debt, to money, and to survival. It is easy to fall into the trap of survival fear – and then remain stuck in such an experience. When in survival mode everything is about the mere continuation of one’s life, which is the drive, which is the force and momentum that push points forward.

What is unfortunate is that when stuck in this state of survival, tunnel vision sets in, and one’s world gets smaller. It gets small in the sense that the only thing that matters is survival, not seeing anymore that there are more points to living in this world, and most of us understood this as children, when we could live in this world without being governed by fear of survival.

Hence, fear of survival is that limiting experience where all focus and attention goes to achieving the basic minimum, just getting by, just making sure that one get through this day. In that there is no will, or drive to move and expand, to give of oneself, to create something extraordinary and out of this world, something awesome that would be of benefit to many people. The will to live is sucked dry by the fear of survival.

However, it does not need to be this way. Money, or rather the lack of money does not have to define who we are as beings, and what we decide to live, and what we decide to stand for and as. Our expression and commitment to life can be created to go beyond money, and that is what I am going to write about in this blog, how I have waited with standing as life in certain parts of my life, due to connecting that will to stand to money, and having a lot of money.

One point that stands out here is the point of living HERE, living HERE and not accepting and allowing fear to creep up on me. Because, one justification that has been common is that ‘Oh well this fear is valid, because I do not have any money’ – hence procrastinating stopping and changing my self-experience until I feel that I have enough money to let go of my fears. Obviously, this is not effective, because fact of the matter is that I might never have enough money to feel comfortable in letting go of my fears, and fact of the matter is that I might never feel that source of income I have is sufficiently certain for me to feel comfortable in letting go of stress. This means that if I want to live without stress and fear, and stand up as my real potential, I must take a leap of faith, and simply stop these experiences – not accept and allow them to exist within me – regardless of where I stand in relation to money and income.

What does it then mean to live without fear of money/survival, and what I can replace this fear and survival with? What expression can I live instead that will support me to become a fulfilled and effective human being in this lifetime that is contributing to a life that is best for all?

What I see is that the word GIVING is a important part of me changing myself to live my utmost potentialGIVING is important in me walking from survival and into self-expression – and within GIVING – also words such as CARE, CONSIDERATION, EQUALITY, and SUPPORT – basically – placing value and significance on my fellow human beings and looking at how I can in my life GIVE to others of myself in such a way that it will support them and enhance their lives.

And I see that this word GIVING can be applied in many contexts. I can pursue GIVING in my work environment, GIVING through placing a focus on the organization that I work for as a whole – instead of only seeing it from my perspective, and from my desires and wants. And GIVING through actually caring for others, placing them within me, and when I speak, and interact with them, recognize the other person as an equal to me – see them – hear them – and be here with them. And GIVING through when I have time and opportunity to do so, assist and support others in their work.

And then GIVING can be applied at home through assisting and support with the household work, taking on responsibilities, and taking part in caring for the environment.

And basically, what I see, is that GIVING implies giving up my self-interest, to instead consider the whole, and see what I can contribute to the whole, instead of what I can get and take from the whole. Seeing how I can support myself and my world to expand, instead of looking for opportunities for me to get my next fix of energy – it is thus a shift in perspectives – a shift in how I look at things.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the antidote to self-interest is giving, being generous and including others into my life and supporting not only myself but everyone to create a enjoyable life for themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason as to why this world face so much consequence is partly because we are just all the time taking, we all the time want things, seldom are we giving back – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make it part of my life to give back

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I only think about myself, that is when fear starts taking a hold – thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop thinking – and apply the solution of GIVING and being generous with myself, my time and my money – and hence not anymore accepting and allowing myself to be a miser that walks in this world only to have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that giving is what has been missed in this world – we humans have not considered the point of giving and within that receiving – but instead looked at this world as a place were we must do what it takes to survive – not seeing, realizing and understanding that by having that initial perception of this world – we have created it

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to develop the expression of GIVING in all parts of my life

I commit myself to investigate what it means to GIVE and how I can live the word GIVING in my life in such a that I support what is best for all

I commit myself to place myself in the shoes of another and ask myself how I can GIVE to their life in such a way that I will assist and support them to expand

I commit myself to embrace GIVING – to embrace that we are here in this world together – and that no one is free until all are free – and that hence – there is no point to only caring about myself – my life – and my future

I commit myself to push GIVING – to push through the moments when I feel that I have given to much – or I give without ever receiving – to stop feelings of fair and unfair – and instead take responsibility in this world through giving and making sure that I contribute to building and shaping what is best for all

Day 152: The End of Waiting

Today I will expand on and how I’ve lived and applied in my life, the principle of:

We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

Throughout my process I’ve come to understand a fascinating thing about the human-being, and correspondingly also about myself – and this particular aspect of the human experience most clearly comes through in the industrialized and so called developed countries – where most are able to have somewhat of a decent lifestyle – where they are able to eat, have a roof over their head, spend time on some form of hobby, have children, and build a life for themselves – in other words: They have access to money.

Now, this particular point that comes through is the way of living where the total behavior of the human being becomes centered around one thing – and one thing only: ME – or rather – the illusory experience of ME in the form of feelings and emotions – that tend to take the shape and form of how the person spends all of their time doing what they like to do, what they feel like doing, what they prefer doing, and where they consequently suppress and shut out all the possibilities of life that require self-movement and self-direction.

Real change is such a point that requires, in order to manifest and tangibly come through, self-movement, self-direction and self-willed ambition as a self-motivated drive to create something extraordinary and concrete that will stand the test of time. Fascinatingly enough, change and the motivation to change doesn’t ever come naturally or by itself – change must be specifically directed and willed – and if this is not done – what will happen is that a form of complacency will develop; in other words, a form of waiting. This is the decease that has grabbed a large extent of the human population – resulting in a world of waiting – where nothing really changes – nothing really moves – and nothing really come to a conclusion – there is no momentum.

Though there is a remedy for this decease: When we loose everything, and there isn’t anything left to live for, no money to use to preoccupy ourselves with, no entertainment, no friends, no lovers, no home, and no food – at that point – we tend to realize that something must change – that there is something wrong with this system we live in and with the way that the world is construed – the problem is that at this point – its in most cases already too late – the consequence is already here.

Just as I’ve observed this pattern in others, I’ve observed and seen it in myself, this fruitless waiting for something better to manifest while spending most of time doing nothing of substance, value, or importance – and because I’ve clearly seen and understood this point and how severe the consequential outflows of this point is – I’ve decided to change this – the simple reasoning behind this being that: If I were in the shoes of one of those that do live a life of poverty, suffering, in inhumane conditions, what I would’ve wanted of myself, is that I give this one lifetime, making sure that change comes through in substance – and because this is what I would’ve wanted from another if they were in my position, this is what I will myself to live.

How is it then that I am living this point practically?

I’ve constructed some basic guidelines that I apply consistently in my life that have allowed me to stop waiting – and instead move myself to create something of actual substance – for example:

Firstly, I make sure that I give myself the time required to assist and support myself to walk out of a emotional or feeling possession, when I notice that go into one of those – and this I give to myself through applying the tools of writing myself to freedom, self-forgiveness, and self-commitment statements – and as such – I push myself to be a beacon of change, where I show that its in-fact possible to stand and walk in this world without feelings and emotions – remaining objective and instead being guided within and as the principle of what is best for all; because I understand that the root cause of suffering is the separation from reality that we human beings create through a self-generated artificial and disconnected fantasy world in our minds – resulting in a rift between humans and the physical substance of this world – which makes us unable to recognize the physical and the equal nature of all other expressions existent in this world.

Secondly, I make sure that I each day push myself to contribute in someway to a solution that is global, and that will have a definitive impact in all people’s lives – and this I do through standing with and promoting the implementation of a Living Income Guaranteed – an economic model that will allow for all to have a decent life and have their basic human rights be a given.

Thirdly, I make sure that I align myself with people that also care about creating a world that is best for all – and I make sure that I learn from them, that I allow myself to be supported by them – and that I walk with them and through group efforts make an impact that far supersedes the influence that I as single individual can have in this world – and I make sure that I don’t accept and allow myself to go into a state of superiority in wanting to bring forth change by myself – because I realize that in walking with a group I become stronger – and that the group will become stronger when I stand and walk with it.

The one principle that arch’s over and permeates these practical lifestyle directions that I’ve made is the realization that unless I act – and unless I move – nothing will move – and within that comes the question: Would I be satisfied with myself, when I die and look back at my life, and realize that I did nothing, that I was waiting for something to occur instead of everyday, making sure that something will occur, and that something will happen? I answered this question with a resounding: No!

What would your answer to this question be?

WeWikipedia: We is the first-person, plural personal pronoun in Modern English.