Tag Archives: good

Day 5: Slow Down Man

For some weeks now I’ve been practicing some pieces on the guitar that are particularly difficult – for example: one song that I am practicing is made by Jimi Hendrix – and as most know – he was a very technically distinguished guitar-player – and as such it’s been hard for me to imitate and learn the particular playing techniques.

Though, in walking this process of learning some difficult songs I’ve realized one important point – that I’ve seen is a key in terms of really being able to learn a difficult song – and play it without mistakes and with the same technical mastery as it’s original creator – and this one point is – take it slow.

So – when I am learning a song I am pushing myself to practice, and rehearse the particular section of the song, the particular notes that I am to play – very slow – and in this I am allowing my fingers to become comfortable with the particular technique, and way of playing – and then slowly I am increasing the speed – and putting more effort into practicing the parts that I find especially difficult – slowly but surely building a physical comfortableness towards being able to play the song – fast – and accurate – and at the same time effortless.

Within doing this I’ve made some interesting observations about myself, and about how process functions – and is to be walked. What I’ve seen in terms of myself is that – I’ve had a tendency through out my life to walk points FAST – walk them NOW – get them DONE – here – okay done! Next point! And within this I’ve not allowed myself to learn a particular skill solidly – in really cementing that particular skill in the very cells of my physical body – I’ve not allowed myself to build a steady foundation before I move unto the more advanced stuff.

For example – I could see that how I’ve not done this in relation to my guitar-playing – and accordingly my guitar-playing is generally filled with many small technical mistakes – when I play fast on the guitar I tend to miss notes, and I miss strings with my plectrum – or I hit a wrong note – and that is because I’ve not slowly, but surely practiced my speed – and made sure that I have a solid foundation of having a effective technique on the guitar – before I move on to play faster on the guitar.

Now – in terms of process – I can see how the exact same principle applies here as with the guitar playing – and how I’ve done the exact same thing in relation to process that I’ve done in relation to my guitar playing. Process is best walked SLOWLY wherein – I allow myself to build a foundation, and slowly but surely accumulate knowledge – understanding insight – and how I then form a foundation – and I begin to practice this knowledge in practical living – doing it slowly – being specific – noticing where my technique is not perfect – and then going back to re-establish my foundation – and then slowly but surely perfect my technique.

As a practical example – I notice that I react in fear when I meet a certain individual in my world – I mean – then the slow approach would be to first sit down and write about the point – not react in judgment towards the point – not feel that I “have the correct the point now!” – but instead taking my time in accumulating my understanding, and insight in relation to the point – then – when I have all the information – I apply self-forgiveness – and commitments – and then I walk the correction – and I observe my application – and if there are still reactions – I go back to the drawing board – and I yet again sit down to investigate how it is that I am still holding unto some part of the mind – the key here being to let the process of stopping a particular pattern take the time it requires – to not try to force it – but to walk it through from the foundation – to perfecting my application – and doing that in such a way that I really do get to a state of being perfect in my application.

So – looking at it like this – the process of learning to play guitar – and becoming a excellent guitar player – is the same process as learning to live – and becoming a living expression – as a living and breathing human-being here – what’s important is to walk it slowly – and get the foundation built meticulously and with specificity – and then when the basics are settled – to then start to move myself into the more advanced stuff.

This entire point of taking it slow – and taking my time – and being patient – and walking every moment – this is something that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to give to myself in my process – or in my life in general – instead my life has been like a fucking race to try to get somewhere – and within this I’ve compromised myself – because I’ve not allowed myself to develop a effective foundation – and get to perfect the basics – before I set myself to perfect the advanced.

In looking at where this comes from – I can see that I’ve through-out my life always strived to be the best – and feel like I am the best – and as such I’ve never wanted to settle with only knowing the basics – because I’ve wanted to immediately become more – and get to that place – get ahead – and become more advanced – what I didn’t see was how this type of mentality and attitude really in-fact backfires – because sure – you’ll be able to do the advanced stuff – yet it won’t be particularly good – it won’t be particularly effective – and there will really be more mistakes done – than things being done correctly.

Thus – what I am going to practice giving to myself – and living in my life is – to take things slow – and to walk the basics – and to not stress – force points – and this applies not only to my process – but to everything in my life – from my studies – my guitar playing – in essence any form of process that I am walking wherein I am building a skill – this is where I must take into consideration the fact that I can only go to the advanced – when I’ve a effective understanding of the basics – of the very plain and rudimentary points within the skill that I’ve set myself to learn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress, and attempt, and try to force myself to get ahead – and to develop new skills – and to move faster – instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand – that I will move faster – in moving slower – that I will learn and become more effective – when I accept and allow myself to take my time and develop the basics – the very foundation upon which I am going to stand in terms of developing the more advanced aspects of the point that I am walking

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to achieve, to learn fast, and to become the best – and the ultimate – as fast as possible – instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand how this type of desire, and want is really ego – and how it’s not resulting in my actually moving myself forward – and expanding myself – but is more resulting in my time-looping – and developing a seemingly advanced expression – but it’s really just a paper-tiger – that can be washed away in one moment – because I haven’t established a effective and sound foundation in terms of what it is that I am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice walking slowly – walking with patience – being specific and precise – and developing the basics and the foundation with meticulous attention to the details – in accepting allowing myself – to take each point that I am walking to perfection – taking it slowly but surely to perfection – seeing that there is no reason to stress – or try to force a faster movement – because it won’t result in me becoming better anyway – it will only result in me accumulating my own fall at a later stage – wherein I will fall down and crumble because I didn’t effectively establish a sound foundation – and get to develop the basics effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that one of the reasons as to why this world is fucked up – and why there are so many accidents – why there are so many failed human-beings – is because the education system – and the labor system – is set up around money – wherein money demands that the human being moves pressured by time – to produce a particular result during this time – not taking into consideration that a skill can’t develop by a expectation in relation to time – but must develop organically – and in relation to my movement with and as my human physical body – which is not something that can be determined in hours, or minutes – but is something that develops HERE – in the time it takes – which might be a year – or simply some days

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself on a breath, by breath basis – in accepting and allowing myself to not move – and force myself according to time – but to instead move myself with and as my human physical body – in taking into consideration where my human physical is in this breath – and where I am within this breath – and looking at the actuality of what is here – not looking at where I apparently should be – as a expectation formulated by the idea that I should move a particular distance in a particular amount of time – and then trying to enforce this idea through moving myself in hastiness and stress – instead of taking my time – being patient – and moving myself with and as my human physical body here

When and as I see that am forcing movement – that I am trying to move myself beyond my capabilities without first establish a effective foundation, and learning – mastering the basics – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – I require to master – and get effective within the basics – the elementary – before I move unto more advanced stuff – else the advanced stuff will be crap – because I can’t handle the point; as such I commit myself to be patient with myself – to move myself in equilibrium with and as my capacity in seeing what I am able to handle – and then pushing myself gently forward – in making sure that I get all the points effectively down – before I move to the next point

When and as I seeing that I am forcing myself from a starting point of thinking that “I want to get there! I want to be the best and not only average!” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand – that I will only ever be able to truly master a point when I allow myself to take it slow – and to walk and perfect the basics – and the naturally develop the advanced stuff – and within this I also see that there is nothing to gain in being the “best” – it’s only an idea that I’ve accumulated and defined myself in relation to – and not something that is actually real; as such I commit myself to slow down – and to see that when I walk it slow – I really in-fact walk it fast – because I won’t have to back when I am at the advanced stuff – and re-build my foundation – because I got the points down during the time I walked through them – because I gave myself the necessary time

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Day 1: Negativity


Have you ever asked yourself why everyone seems to be striving for positivity? I mean – this point of positivity is mentioned everywhere – and you just need to go outside to be swarmed with messages that promote positivity. For example – take a look at commercials – bright shining images portraying the SUN – or GIRLS having FUN – LAUGHING – or – this shampoo is SO GOOD it made my day COMPLETE – in commercials it’s really evident that intention of it is to have the receiver experience some form of positive experience – and then decide to go and buy the product to materialize this positive experience.

The answer to why positivity is such a big – big thing is because – the main experience of each human being – and the current state of the world – exists as NEGATIVITY – major negativity.

Look at your day – it begins in negatively because – you’ve to get out of your bed – and – ugh – go to work! Or – ugh – take care of your responsibilities! And then – you come home from work – and ugh – you’re bored – what should you do? You want to do something that is fun – but there is nothing fun to do – and there is nothing on television – and hey – the conclusion is that this day wasn’t very fun – and so – the human being (you/us/we) go look for positivity in the form of entertainment – as consumerism – because the main experience of the human being is negativity.

Looking at the state of the world it’s obvious that NEGATIVITY rules – there are 3 billion people going starving to bed each night – there is massive unemployment – there are rapists, murders, and pedophiles – there are gang wars – there are sicknesses, there are diseases, there are terrible injuries, there is corruption – deception – fraud – lies – there is inequality – there is unfairness – there is old age – there are orphans – there are MASSIVE amounts of people suffering on a daily basis – all of them experiencing the negativity that this world have become and exists as.


So – what is then the solution? Well – what first must be seen, realized, and understood is the positivity is not a solution – positivity is like a drug that is induced – and then it takes away the negativity for a while – consider for example looking at a movie – this makes you feel okay for an hour, or two  – but then – shit! – I am back into reality!

And also – another drug is buying new things – for example – buying clothes – this also makes some people feel happy and alive for a moment – but some days after their latest purchase – oh my god! This negativity is coming back!

What is this negativity then? And how to deal with it? Well – negativity is CONSEQUENCE – it’s our accepted and allowed living over an extended period of time – wherein we’ve taken no self-responsibility – and we’ve simply let things slide – and this has resulted into an experience of ourselves, and a state of this world – that is severely diminished and dysfunctional – in-fact it’s in such a condition that we attempt to use various techniques, and behaviors to escape having to see – and face what is here in this world as ourselves – as NEGATIVITY.

Thus – the solution is to FORGIVE OURSELVES – to let the negativity go – to release ourselves from the burden of the past – and the burden of our dysfunctional living – to design ourselves and this world a new – not accepting and allowing ourselves to reside in – and accept and allow negativity to become our very nature – as what we exist as – but wherein we instead decide who we are – what we are – what we are going to live for – how we are going to live – and specifically – meticulously – design ourselves as the best we can be – and this world alike.


The reward for changing ourselves – from negativity – to life – as oneness and equality – is that we’ll finally be able to be satisfied with ourselves – finally we can stop looking for the next positive high in order to get us feeling somewhat better – and we can instead focus upon that which matters – which is changing this world – and making sure that each human being has a cool life – and that no one ends up in a position wherein they have no ability – or opportunity to support themselves and their bodies.

The reward is a new world wherein we’ll never again have to search for positivity – because positivity will seem limited in comparison to what we create – what we live – and how we’re able decide who we are in each moment of breath – who needs positivity when we instead stand as creators? Were WE decide who we are – and we don’t need a experience of positivity to tell us that – “okay – now you can feel positive” – I mean – we will decide – because we stand equal and one here – as the living word – wherein we design ourselves and the world around us with the words we speak – and live.

Thus – join the process of stopping NEGATIVITY – and begin your journey to life – of birthing yourself from the physical – and standing up to live and be a full human being – that doesn’t need positivity to feel fulfilled.

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Picking Apart Confucius

Quote: ”If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.” (Confucius)

Question to be answered: How can this statement be abused and misused?

Now – the first thing to be observed in the quote above is the two words ‘good’ and ‘bad’ – as these two words open up the backdoor to potential misuse and abuse of above statement.


Because – the words of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are based upon subjective definitions – they are in the mind of each human created as an individual experience with no actual relationship to this physical reality that we participate and exist within.

As such – ‘good’ for one might be to rape a woman – as this ‘feels good’ – while ‘bad’ for another might be to do his homework – as it ‘feels bad’ – as such it’s easy to observe that using the words of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in relation to any self-statement is risky – as the statement lived doesn’t promise a world that is best for all – but instead give room for the mind to create interpretations and to have the statement become – what the mind – as desires/wants/needs – as self-interest – would like to be.

That’s why it’s beneficial – when one write self-corrective statements – or consider taking statements and placing them into practical application – that specific practical and actual actions are used in order to create the statement – because in doing so there will be no room for interpretation – there will be no room for self-interest as only the actual physical expression of the physical will remain.

Thus – this quote above proves the problem with the new-age religions over-use of words such as compassion – love – care – consideration; the problem is that these words aren’t ever practically – specifically – and mathematically defined and brought into physical practical application – but they instead remain vague and abstract concepts that no-one really knows how to live – you only feel them.

But feeling a word is useless – as we’re not feelings – we’re beings of flesh and blood and what’s of consequence to us is our experience in this physical reality – not what we feel or think – this is proven by the fact that you die with no food – but you continue to breath and live with no thought.

As such we must create ourselves in accordance and alignment with our physical reality – as that is what will have an impact and in-fact mean something to us in our lives – we are actually physical beings. Thus – we specifically re-define each word to contain a actual and practically livable description – so that we may create a world that is actually one and equal as love and compassion – and not only energetic feelings connected to a word.

I Became a Thief for A Few Seconds

Yesterday as I went shopping with my mother I came to face an interesting part of myself. So, we where standing in the shopping queue and the cashier were registrating our groceries. I decided to go down to the end of the conveyor belt, on which our groceries slid down after having been noted; in this process I went through the ‘thief detectors’, those plastic pillars at the end of a shop, designed to react when a magnetic strip that isn’t yet deactivated by the cashier, is brought through, and obviously – the alarm went off.

Yellow light began to blink and a sharp sound went through the store. I was like, shit! Is this me doing this shit? But – I pushed myself to remain here as breath and instead of me being called to the counter – the guy next to me was called to report with the cashier. During this moment I actually reacted, but I was still able to, at least portray myself as calm – lol.

Then the moment of truth arrived as the cashier let of the man and he commenced to venture through the plastic pillars with no alarm going off – suddenly – I was the convict! So, the cashier asked me if I could go back and then enter through the plastic pillars again. As I did what was ordered of me, obviously the alarm went off, and suddenly this experience of extreme embarrassment started to raise within me – because now I was a criminal – the alarm had caught me and people now thought that I had stolen something; this was the thought pattern that went through my mind and in relation to this I felt very uncomfortable – and much like I wanted to hide or escape through the floor of the store.

But I still held myself together and I didn’t fall down upon the floor in shock as to this ‘extreme’ and ‘unexpected’ event occurring in my world. I proceeded to get myself out of this situation and so I ventured to the cashier that said to me: you probably have stuff in your pockets that make the alarm go off. This was when fascinating stuff began to happen – as I noticed that I didn’t really have any control over myself – it was like I acted in total survival autopilot – as I gave my wallet and key’s to the cashier, experiencing quite the ball of anxiety in my chest; instead of simply walking down to the pillars of plastic myself, removing my wallet and keys and walking through. It was like simply gave up all common sense and self-direction, as all I desired and wanted to do was to please this cashier and have her spare my life!

So, I gave her my keys and my wallet and she said – put them on the conveyor belt, which I did – and then I walked through the plastic pillars which where now pleased with my presence as they didn’t sound their alarm. I noticed that I feared to pick up my wallet and my keys lying on the conveyor belt, because I had been ordered to not do so, while I knew, that if I picked up my keys and wallets, now when I had received permission from the gods of plastic to exist as a free man, there was really no practical use of having my keys and wallets there – so I picked them up! And the event ended!

As it was all over I became amazed at how much I had reacted towards this point. I had reacted to the fact of being seen by others as a criminal and I had reacted towards authority through giving up all self-direction and simply following what another told me to do – in order to escape punishment. It was fascinating.

As I got home and applied self-forgiveness on the point I realized that I had separated myself from criminals, the outcasts of this world, seeing them as something shameful and inferior to the apparent ‘good’ citizen of this world – while in-fact the very existence of the ‘good’ citizen marks the creation of the ‘bad’ outcast citizen.

Thus – I realized that there is nothing immoral about stealing, there is nothing embarrassing about being an outcast, no-one is more good than me, or more bad than me – as we are all apart of and responsible for a system that supports the very existence of theft and becoming an outcast. There is no one that can be said to be moral, as either we are all moral – as we are collectively creating a system that supports everyone, or we are all immoral, as we collectively create a system wherein people are forced to crime in order to survive.

Thus – I stand one and equal as the criminal here – ending separation – realizing that if there is but one criminal, as a thief on this earth, I am as responsible for his life as he himself is – as I accepted and allowed myself to be apart of the very origin issue, as to why he became a criminal – a unequal money system!

This means that the solution to end crime and to have all people be ‘good’ – is equal money – as we end the polarity of have and have not’s and instead establish only have’s. Then morality will be real.

As to the point of authority – well – it’s a fascinating point. Seeking to be accepted, following orders without a second thought, only to avoid a possible punishment. It’s fascinating to see how automated these points are – and how much I’ve given up the ability to direct myself effectively, through wanting and desiring to have another direct me instead – within the belief that they are apparently more powerful than me; they are not! There are in-fact no authorities – there is but one authority and that is me. The fact that I perceive and act as if there are authorities outside of me – only shows to me that I’ve given up myself as self-authority.

Thus – I stand up as breath and I become the author of me once again – as the movement and direction in the moment that isn’t derived from fear – but from within and as the principle of what is best for all.

Finding Problems Instead of Solutions

I’ve had a cool realization today that I would like to share. It all began when I was with my mother in our shed. We where going to check out some windows, which we were then going to use in order to re-place our other one’s that are already installed on the house – because we’re going to take the already installed one’s down for a while, due to maintenance, and that is when we need the old windows to take their place.

So, we where in the shed inspecting windows and I noticed how dirty it was in the shed. There was shit everywhere – metal, bathtubs, toilets, building material – and I started to complain in my head that it was dirty; then I started to speak it.

I actually thought as I started to speak to my mother, about how I thought it was dirty in the shed, that I was being self-honest, thinking that I am revealing this mess that is here, I am showing this mess to my mother. But then I realized, after a while of speaking, in this starting point of pointing out the shit that was everywhere around me, that I wasn’t actually doing anything supportive at all. I wasn’t taking responsibility for the shit that was around me and I didn’t have it mind to do it either – I simply wanted to speak about it and point out the apparent badness of it to my mother.

I realized that I was doing this because I wanted to present myself as mature and as a know-it-all, as a grown-up, putting my mother on the spot through showing how badly she had things organized. It made me feel superior and strong and that is why I did it. So, I didn’t realize what I had done until I was actually finished with it. But as I spoke the last word I noticed how I felt funny inside, like almost ill, but not like a sickness, but as a feeling. And I realized this was because I had spoken and shared myself in a way that wasn’t supportive, that wasn’t what was best for all.

Though, this is only one of my realizations – in the moment just prior to my moment of apparent maturity, I had accepted and allowed myself to participate in a similar construct.

This time my mother was standing by the windows attempting to figure out how to solve the problem of closing the empty hole that would be created when we removed the windows for maintenance – as we’ve figured out that the old windows we first wanted to use was to small. My mother then asked me if I could possibly saw out a shape in plywood that would resemble the size of a window, so that we could push it into the to-be hole.

Here is where I then entered the construct, because I started to speak about how difficult this might be, and how it would probably fail – and I did this, firstly, without being completely certain that it would fail, secondly, without coming with any solutions myself – it was like I wanted to focus upon the negativity, and the prospect of a failure, simply in order to be able to feel mature and ‘realistic’ and have my mother perceive me as a experienced and sensible individual – for apparently knowing the limitations of construction work.

So, fascinating – two points of communication with my mother, where I instead of standing here as breath, working with solutions, and taking responsibility for my reality, instead went into negativity, as in wanting to find problems with my reality – so that I could feel superior and more mature than the people in my reality.

Quite the fuck-up. Time to stop this.