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Day 375: Opportunities

This past week I have been working with opportunities. A tendency I have is to compare my life to that of others. Naturally, it always seems as if I am worse off, which in turn can make me feel depressed. I will then stagnate and move my attention/focus unto what I should have done and what I have missed because I did not do it. This is problematic because it causes me to miss the life that is right in front of me.

That is why I have been practicing recognizing and moving on opportunities that come through. In can be small things. Still, if I am in my mind, I will miss them. For example, it can be that I meet someone that I have not seen in a long time. I then have the opportunity to do something more out of that interaction, which could be done by for example eating a lunch together. However the opportunity can be much more vague and difficult to spot. It can be a idea to do something that comes up while I drive my car. If I am not on my toes its easy to dismiss such things as daydreaming. Though it can be a worthwhile notion to move on. Who knows? That is why it is important to not worry about the life of others and compare myself and what I am doing with what others are doing.

The biggest issue that I have had with comparison have been in relation to my work. And this has been a reason as to why I have not dared to commit to any one direction or focus. I want to keep all roads free, because what if I make the wrong decision? What if I do not make the right choice, and then at the end of the day, I will compare my choice and realize that I was wrong? This fear inhibits my expression of moving on opportunities, interests, what fascinates and intrigues me, because I can never be sure where these will take me.

Where does comparison come from? From what I am able to see, comparison is a type of insecurity. It is cultivated with self-judgment, doubt, anxiety, and desires to be successful and famous. When I was a child I had no issues with comparison because all that existed was my life HERE. The decisions I made where fully my own. I did not care about whether someone else did the same or something different compared to me. My presence and enjoyment in the moment encompassed all of my inner reality – there was no room for comparison – every inch of me was needed HERE to express and live. And that is an important thing to take with me. That comparison cannot exist when I am FULLY engaged and present in the moment and in what I am doing.

The solution to be more awake and ready to move on the opportunities that present themselves is to be fully breathing – fully living – fully HERE. Comparing my life to that of others is really only a symptom of not living fully here – it shows me that I am accepting and allowing myself to do things halfheartedly, without intensity and passion – it shows me that I am thinking too much and not living. It is thus a opportunity in itself to investigate where it is that I am holding myself back and correct it.


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Day 372: Bringing Life Here

When things get too much, then focus on the small. One thing at a time. That is how movement is accumulated – we do one thing – then we do the next thing. Sometimes it is not possible to have overview, it is not possible to be in control over a series of events – however – we are always in control in THIS moment. In this movement we can decide who we are – and we can decide to move ourselves into the direction that we want to go.

I cannot walk my life effectively trying holding a image/projection in-front of my eyes, believing that I need to manifest that projection into reality – moving with that picture as a target my decisions become inflexible. I miss what is HERE in-front of me and start to move with a erratic frenzy. Life is HERE and hence it must be DIRECTED here – it cannot be lived as a picture – because that is not the nature of LIFE.

Goals can be defined and plans can be scripted – though it will only remain a plan and a goal – not LIFE. It is important to not confuse a goal and a plan with life. The former is used to find direction – the latter is what it is all about and cannot be defined within the limited confines of a goal and a plan. Hence it is important to never have the plan and the goal supersede what is happening in this moment – because it can all change – in one breath.

Real stability, clarity and overview is in the moment – it is HERE – it cannot be placed on a paper – it cannot be constructed – it must be LIVED – one moment – HERE – I see. And this is cool – because whenever stability, clarity and overview is missing – it does not mean that we have to arduously walk a long process until these points can be brought here – rather we can bring stability, clarity and overview – HERE – by making a decision to do so. And sometimes it might not be possible – and we need the tools of support such as writing and self-forgiveness – other times it is possible.

Because my life is so busy, with things, responsibilities, points to handle and direct constantly, I do not have the time to bring stability and clarity here through writing – I have to live it in the moment. Why wait for these things to come to me when I can decide to live that now?

 


Day 391: Living COMPLETELY

During this week I have focused my application on the immediate living of words in the moment. When I have had a reaction, I have applied a line of self-forgiveness within me, and then I have immediately proceeded to see what word would be supportive for me to live in order to walk through and transcend the reaction. I allowed myself to be unconditional when I looked at the words, to just see what came up, and thus far a couple of interesting words have arisen that I had not applied/lived before – such as the word COMPLETE. And in this blog I am going to expand upon my understanding and application of the word complete.

This word came up within me one morning as I had just woken up, I was preparing to go to work, and I was noticing how stress was building up within me. The stress was primarily about getting to work in time, accomplishing my work, thinking about what I am going to do later in life in terms of work, thinking about whether or whether not I will be able to live in my current house later in life or not; to sum it up – FUTURE ANXIETY. I applied self-forgiveness and looked at what word that could be lived – and then COMPLETE came up within me.

I proceeded to take COMPLETE – I placed it within me chest – and then practiced immediately embodying the word. I could immediately feel a shift in my body – my stance became more upright, stable, certain, yet still, my muscles relaxed and my posture became more natural and balanced. My awareness shifted into what was HERE around me – I was making coffee for myself – hence – I observed and partook in the process with full presence – which was very cool. Then I realized the power of living the word COMPLETE – and how this is a word we as human beings have been really bad at living.

I realized that when living COMPLETE – meaning – I AM COMPLETE HERE – the notion of running, stressing, racing towards or after something becomes ludicrous and nonsensical – what is there to race after if I am COMPLETE here? Why should I think about, constantly strive towards, and attempt and try to achieve something more than myself, when I am COMPLETE?

I then asked myself, if I would consider my current state of living complete, at least in the sense of material standards, who would I be? Would I still be thinking about what kind of job I would have in the future? Would I still be thinking about where I am going to live in the future? In a way, such considerations and thoughts are immaterial – or put differently – unimportant under the circumstances – and if it would so happen that I would die after having made this cup of coffee – then would I ever regret not having lived in a different house? Surely not. My regrets would rather be about who I was as a person, the relationships I was able to create with people in my life, the value and worth that I was able to contribute into the lives of others, the value and worth that I was able to contribute into the life of my own – that would be of importance – that would be relevant – that would be material – and that thus forms a integral part of living the word COMPLETE.

Because living COMPLETE – means that I am COMPLETELY here – and that I make the most – the FULLEST – in every moment to live myself as a COMPLETE person – complete in the sense that I am not separated – spread thin and wide in my mind – where my attention is scattered between all kinds of irrelevant things/ideas/beliefs/emotions/feelings. Standing as the word COMPLETE is thus a completely different experience in comparison to living life from a starting point of inadequacy and feeling incomplete – which so many of us do. And then we try to find completion in our careers, in partners, in children, in all kinds of external manifestations – while all the time missing the point – the living COMPLETE is a matter of principle – a DECISION – that we do and must stand by – and implement in every moment.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word COMPLETE – as being COMPLETELY here in this moment – being COMPLETELY present – completely directive – completely taking part in my process of self-creation and thus not accepting and allowing myself to be separate – separate from the physical – separate from what is real through having thoughts, images, pictures, fantasies, all kinds of distractions in my mind – take me away from what is real HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that completion is not something that I will be able to attain through my external reality, that it is not something that I will be able to earn as money, or acquire as friends, recognition, power or importance – rather – it is something that I must live and apply in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will never be able to attain completion – it must be a decision that I make – I must LIVE completion in order to bring it into manifestation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the word COMPLETE – and accept and allow myself to be scattered into a million of small pieces in my mind – hence forgetting that what is real is HERE – forgetting what I knew and could see as a child – that reality is HERE – and that there is in-fact nothing more to attain/achieve – than what is HERE in a moment – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in a linear way of looking at my life – where it is all processes that goes from A to B – and where there is always a movement from A to B – and thinking that I will only ever be able to relax when I get to B – not seeing, realizing and understanding – that COMPLETION is always HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from COMPLETE – thinking that it is a too good a word for me – and that I will never be able to live or stand as complete – because I have not earned it – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must earn living COMPLETE – that it is something that must come into my life after a long process of showing that I have earned it – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is a word – and that I can make a decision to live it HERE

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself longing, looking at, fearing, worrying about, the future in some way or another, where I project a complete version of myself somewhere out there, that I will only be able to attain after a long and arduous process, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring that point of COMPLETION here – and I see, realize and understand – that COMPLETION is a decision that I live and not something that I can wait for – and it is not something that I will get from my external reality – it will be something that I create/manifest/life as a decision – and hence I commit myself to practice living COMPLETE – to bring all of myself HERE into the physical and to stand FULLY and COMPLETELY here – and to use moments of falling to learn and become better at standing as a COMPLETE and FULL version of myself HERE

 


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Day 354: Nostalgia, Why Does It Exist?

Today, I had a moment where Nostalgia arose within me. With a sense of loss I remembered passed moments in which I had lavishly enjoyed hours of making music, which stood in stark contrast with my current lifestyle, where most of my time is spent working. Instead of remaining in that experience, I stopped myself, and I gave myself a moment to question the experience.

What is Nostalgia? Why does Nostalgia comes up within me? What is the consequence of participating in Nostalgia?

One thing that I could see clearly as I asked myself these questions was that it is not like my current life is in anyway bad, or that I lack opportunities to for example, make music. In-fact, I have ample of opportunities to pursue hobbies, and thus I could see that it was not the fault of my work that I was not making music anymore. In-fact, the thing that was standing in my way of me making more music was myself – nobody and nothing else. Surely, the conditions of my life had changed since back then, though it is still a possibility for me to pursue music creation. And this then opened up another dimension of the experience of Nostalgia, with regards to the question, what is Nostalgia?

Nostalgia, it is the negative emotion, the drug of choice, that we give to ourselves to feel inferior and less than our past. It is what we use to not have to create, live, pursue, and actively expand in our current reality HERE – because when we are in an experience of Nostalgia – the past is seemingly always better and always out of reach. However, that is not true, fact is that we are still alive, and still fully capable of creating our life and future. The function of Nostalgia is thus to justify why we should not give effort and willpower into creating ourselves and our lives – why we should wait – why it is okay to be discontent with what we have here yet still remain in a experience of longing towards what we lived and experienced in the past.

The solution to Nostalgia is thus to look at where in our lives where are not living our utmost potential, where it is that we are holding back, allowing ourselves to be limited and confined, and then in that area, push ourselves to break through and live what we see is best for ourselves. Thus, it is not about recreating the past, it is about creating the future – and making sure that we always expand, move and challenge ourselves to be the best that we can become.


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Day 333: The Lack Perspective

The lack perspective, this is a way of viewing myself and my world and that has begun to open up and become more clear to me as of late. Seeing things from a starting point of lack is basically how the world currently operates, and most people use lack as their motivation to get things done. An example would be our economy, that is measured and valued in growth, and where stagnation, or shrinkage, is seen as a failure – hence – the point with our economy is to move away from apparent lack and into growth. The same goes with education and children, where the standard way of viewing children is to see them as lacking character, experience, and perspective, and that society hence need to fill them up, push that lack away, and make the children useful and valuable.

Lack, what is missing, what is not here at the moment, this is how we have come to determine value, where hence value is created by fighting and suppressing the existence of lack, wherever it rears it head. It is however interesting, to see, realize and understand, that this lack perspective is not based on common sense, and it is not natural. Because is there in-fact lack? Or is it rather our judgment of what is here already? Where we see that things ARE NOT the way we want them to be (aligned to our ideals) and thus strive to mold, force, design our reality to fit our ideas, and in that completely missing what is here in this moment – and how we thus – do not work WITH what is here but instead FIGHT it.

I will give a practical example from my own life. A year ago I moved from a bustling and vibrant university town, where my days were filled with studies, and time for myself to bicycle, write, swim, and pursue other leisurely activities, to a small provincial town, where I started my first real full time job. On top of moving to a town with a different character, and now having most of my time occupied with the responsibilities of work, my partner and I built a house, and we are now on our way to have a child together – to put it mildly – my life changed quite drastically – from simple, easy, entertaining, to being challenging, and very, very different. I could no longer take my bike and ride the 3 kilometers into the town center to attend my lecture, as I instead had to take my car, and drive 30 kilometers into town, to work an entire day.

I have experienced this change as a form of limitation, where my life as it used to be, with all its ease and comfortableness, was gone, and that I am now stuck in a set of circumstances that are less than optimal. This is what has triggered the thoughts such as: ‘It was better where I used to be!’ – ‘I had everything going for me before, now I am having this life, which limits me!’ – this in turn have generated the experience within me of LACK – which is basically an emotional experience that feels like a empty whole – combined with a sense of longing and desire for something MORE – something BETTER – something DIFFERENT – and in this case – with me – longing back to the place where I used to live in the belief that this would sort out my issues.

Thus, the experience that came up within me, and that I have for a moment gotten myself trapped within, is LACK, and this emotional experience is combined with constant mind-chatter, dreams, projections, imaginations, of how I could have lived and experienced myself if I had been anywhere but here. I had gotten possessed by LACK – and this is where I began to see, realize and understand the deceptive nature of the lack-experience and how it pulled me into a particular way of viewing the world that was actually limiting me.

Furthermore, what is interesting is that I have actually been creating LACK by placing my focus on the emotional experiences of lack/missing/longing, because what am I doing in that? I am going into and accepting and allowing a mental state to become the starting point of my life – instead of CREATING my life here in the physical, moving myself here, and instead of going into lack, asking myself; what am I able to create with what is ALREADY here?

The solution to lack is thus to embrace self-creation as the constant movement and flow of expression that comes through when I push myself to remain here, to remain physical, alert, ready, directive, sharp and aware of what is going on in every moment – thus ready and able to act and create when and as I see that it is required. And self-creation happens HERE – in every moment – it is not something that I am able to access when I am in a lack experience – as then all my focus and energy goes into LACK – instead of CREATION.

Lack is self-created – it is something we bring through by placing our attention on what we do not have instead of focusing on what we have and what we can do with it.

The solution: Work With What Is HERE.


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Day 321: My Alternate Realities

Holding on to points, this is a tendency that has opened up within me during the last week. I have encountered this when it comes to second guessing decisions I have made, where I want to hold unto the potential direction that I did not choose, and when it comes to holding unto experiences – and in particular desires/wants/urges – when these experiences come up – it is hard for me to let go.

Why is it that I do not want to let go?

From what I can see, it has to do with the idea that if I let go, I will miss out and loose something that would have made my life a lot more entertaining and effective. For example with the decisions I have made with my career, I still hold unto, and do not entirely want to embrace the direction I have chosen, because, what if, that other direction that I did not pick was the better one? And then when it comes to desires/wants/urges – it is the same thing – because usually I will have made a decision and picked a certain path to fulfill a certain desire/preference – and then the fear comes up; what if that other direction was better?

Hence, why I want to hold unto things is because I fear missing out, I fear making a mistake, I fear doing the wrong thing, I fear not being able to experience my desires/dreams the way I hoped – and hence I create a way to hold unto that potential within me. Obviously, this does not work, because in physical reality, I have already made the decision, and in-fact, I am only compromising myself and my future by holding unto a alternate reality, because how can I give myself completely to my life if I am divided within myself? A house divided will not stand.

The solution is to embrace my life as it is here – the decisions I have made – to walk them fully and see where they might take me – to not accept and allow myself to live in alternate realities – but to live in this ONE reality HERE – and make the most out of it. To live the COURAGE of letting go of any alternate reality – to remain in ONE reality and make the most of what is in-fact HERE – for REAL. Because, is there anything that I can possibly gain by holding unto a imaginary alternate reality in my mind? No, nothing, as that alternate reality is not even real, and many times, not a possibility either, as I have already committed myself to the decision I have made to such an extant that it would be ridiculous to go back on it. I see that I must EMBRACE reality as it is HERE – and work with it – and make THAT the priority – WORKING with what is ALREADY here.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in and nurture alternate realities, prospects, hopes, and unfulfilled desires, that I want to be realized in these alternate realities, and thus hold unto emotional patterns, as I fear letting them go, as letting them go, would equally mean that I let go of my alternate reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life is not created neither lived in an alternate reality, because in-fact, there is no such thing as an alternate reality, it only exists in my mind, and hence, I want to hold unto, and live for and as my mind, for the idea of a reality that exists in my mind, instead of sticking with what is REAL here, and developing myself, my life, my physical, practical living, on a day-to-day basis, to as such construct, and create something of real value, and not merely something that exists in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my emotional reactions, because I fear letting go of my alternate reality, and hence I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not make an absolute decision, in terms of making the decision completely, fully, without looking back, making my direction and clear and then moving myself, and hence not stopping up in mid-air, to look back, and see whether it might have been better to remain behind, because fact is that I am now mid-air, I have jumped, now the process and what is relevant is to direct myself HERE – and if I do not do that – I will create consequences for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have difficulty letting go of an emotion, most of the times, it is because I am protecting and defending an alternate reality, a hope, a desire, an urge of wanting my life to be formed and shaped in accordance with my alternate dream reality, and hence I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not will myself to let go of the point – and implement the direction of LIVING and CREATING – and BUILDING myself and my life HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my alternate realities, in how I want things to be, instead of living and participating HERE with how things REALLY are, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember that what goes on in my mind – in my alternate dream realities – that will not ever come real – it is a imagination, a accumulation of various believes and ideas, integrated into a false story existing in my mind, that will not ever exist, because it is not of and as physical matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace REALITY – and realize that the solution to my tendency of living in alternate dream realities, is to investing myself fully into this reality – into this life – giving LIFE my everything – and hence not accepting and allowing myself to vest my attention, focus and effort into a false reality existing only as pictures and images in my mind

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to invest myself in this physical reality – to give attention, focus and effort into living and creating myself HERE – to understand that I can only create my life here when and as I am here – and I am not split in my mind between various imaginary realities

I commit myself to embrace my life as it is HERE and make the best out of it – to give myself fully – through being HERE in each and every breath – and walking in every moment with and as breath – with and as my physical body

I commit myself to create in the physical – and stop myself when I notice myself going into my alternate realities of the mind – and to instead bring myself back here – and focus myself on creating and living HERE

Day 260: OOD = Obsessive Organizing Disorder

Today as I woke up, I knew that I had a long day of reading ahead of me – and because I know that I can focus and concentrate better when I have had some physical movement, I decided to go out and spend my morning doing some ‘farm-work’. Now, I currently live on an old farm, and my family as been living on this property for some four generations. This has caused many of the various buildings on the farm to become very, very, very disorganized. I am not sure why that is, though it might have something to do with rushing, and how we tend to disregard important points in our life, such as our living environment, because we are rushing towards the next thing on our to-do-list.

Regardless of why, it is very messy in some of the locals. And I have noticed that this messiness really gets to me – because I enjoy when points are organized, systematic, they make sense, and they have a clearly defined purpose. For example, I do not like a room where there is a myriad of things from various categories – such as a bicycle, mixed with a chainsaw, and a outboard engine. When I get into such a room I become all uneasy, and feel an urge to start organizing, and getting things into their proper place. And with some rooms on the farm I have managed to structure and organize things, though many are still left to be dealt with.

So, today as I was going about some chores around the farm, I got an idea of how to use a room, that would make sense, and that would bring more order and structure to things. In the next moment I realized that if I was going to follow through on that initial idea, the new purpose of the room that I had come up with, would clash slightly with the purpose of another room that I had thought up. Hence, I in that moment experienced a conflict of purposes – which led me to start thinking about it more, and more. Behind the scenes of this thinking process there was an emotional experience lurking – an anxiety – the driving force behind that urge to organize, to have things be systematic, controlled, specific, and aligned with their purpose.

Thus today, I am going to open up this obsessive organizing disorder-character – because this urge to organize and make things streamlined according to their purpose, it does not only come up in relation to the farm – it also comes up in my life. For example, I have noticed that it is very difficult for me to just pick up a new hobby, unless it is somehow fitted into the ‘purpose’ of my life, and where I picture myself going. And it is also difficult to ‘just do something’ without it having a goal, a purpose, an end-result in sight of what I want to achieve with this thing that I am doing. Accordingly, my diagnose is that I am obsessed with having things ‘fit into’ a scheme – a picture – a mental concept that I have created of my life – which in turn creates conflict in me when my reality does not fit into my concept of how reality should be like.

Then comes the most important question – What is the SOLUTION that I see for this pattern? As far as I see it – the solution is to accepted and allowed myself to again become a child, live like a child, and approach my day like a child – because what does a child do? A child is here in the present moment, participating in what is opening up here – and if a child one day notices how much he or she likes to ride horses – then the child will do that – unconditionally – not because it fits into the child’s idea of what he or she should do in the future. Hence, the correction is to live in the present moment – to NOT think about whether something is proper or improper – to NOT think about where something should lead me – to NOT try to organize and define everything into neat little pockets of information where I feel that I know where I am going – to be flexible and live in the moment – though still obviously – have a overview and a general sense of direction in knowing where I am going.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I constantly need to plan things beforehand, and that with all things I do and participate in, that they need to fit into a purpose, into a direction, and into a particular way of seeing things – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live in the moment, and be in the present – and approach things HERE – thus not try to fit things into, and define things, so that they are sorted and stored in a way that makes sense to me – because I see, realize and understand that things doesn’t always have to make sense – instead I can participate in something because I enjoy it, because it is here, and without having a already decided plan

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with seeing the future in everything that I do – where for me to do something – I have to see a path into the future, where this points develops, and matures, and then benefits me in my life in some way – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that not all parts and aspects of my life require to have a deep purpose and function – that sometimes – it is cool to just do something in that moment and then never return to it again – not all things require to fit in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed with organizing and moving things where I live, to fit them into a systematic organization, that I think is logical, and that is based on reason – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I do not have to organize, and systematize all things in my life – that some points I can leave as they are – and it won’t become better or worse whether I chose to organize the point or not – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to be comfortable with disorganization

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable, and cringe inside of myself when I feel that things are not organized properly – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction of immediately wanting to organize things, and put them into their correct place – and then go into a state of anxiety, and fear when I can’t seem to find a way of organization that fits into my way of logically structuring points in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to define and make sense out of everything that happens in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overanalyze situations, and what I am doing in my life – want to fit it into the bigger scheme of things – when really – sometimes there is no such meaning to a point that occurs – and sometimes there is no value in trying to define, or make sense of something – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be comfortable with not specifically knowing where things are headed, and how they might turn out in the future – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and allow myself to trust myself – and stand stable in my breath here – even though I have no clear view, or exact knowledge on how the decision I make is going to affect me and what it is going to lead to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself, that even though I might not see the full picture just yet, that when I move myself, and continue to push myself forward – that I am going to reach a point where I do see what is going on and the best decision I can make to support my life and the life of others – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the moment – living here in the present – as how children live – where there is no thought about what something should become – and rather what is important is the moment of self-expression that is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can trust myself to direct points HERE in the present as they come up and as I see that it is relevant for me to move – make a decision – and direct a particular point – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace this point of moving in the present – and practice seeing the way forward HERE – having a plan – yet not accepting and allowing this plan to overshadow my present reality and the opportunities that are opening up for me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when I get too caught up in my plans, and in what my future should be, and should become, I miss out on the physical living HERE – and I miss out on the process of self-creation that must be done in every moment of breath – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice establishing, and creating a balance for myself, between planning for the future, and remaining in the present – creating and being receptive to what is going on here

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a way of being, where I am trying to make my life fit into a predetermined planned, and define it into already specified, and purposefully arranged boxes, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I approach life from this starting point – I am going to create conflict within myself – because I will constantly think about the ideals – about how something SHOULD be – and not how things are here – and thus I commit myself to create a balance between the present and my future – where I do have a plan and a purpose for my life and future – yet where I am still accepting and allowing myself to be present HERE and receptive to what is opening up and moving in my day to day living

When and as I see that I am going into future projections, where I am imagining how things should become, how things should develop, how things should work out, and how things should be like, and what I can do in my future to make things the way I have imagined, and hoped that they should be, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I only think about what I should do in the future, and what I must do before I can begin moving, or doing something in my life, I am holding myself back, and limiting myself severely, grinding myself to a total halt within myself, because all of myself is in the future and not HERE – and thus I commit myself to create a balance between making plans for the future, and living HERE in the moment, creating and building, and shaping my life in the moment, with the resources that are at my disposal HERE

When and as I see myself going into and as a state of future planning, where I try to organize and make sense of this present moment through thinking about what I can, and should do in the future, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself by accepting and allowing myself to make sense of this present moment – that I do not need that to be stable, sound and clear, and be directive about my decision and where I am going – and thus I commit myself to trust myself to walk in the present – and trust myself that as I walk I will see the next step to take – and the next point to take on and move and direct – and thus that I do not require to use my mind to make sense of where I am and where I am going