Tag Archives: hobby

Day 460: Then, Now, and What’s to Come

I have been listening to two newly released interviews on Eqafe which I found to be very supportive:

Then, Now, and What’s to Come – Reptilians – Part 585
Then, Now, and What’s to Come: Consequence and Creation – Reptilians – Part 586

One of the solutions suggested in the interviews, when facing difficult and challenging experiences, is to, when the challenge opens up, to immediately ask: What can I learn from this, how can I substantiate my being from this, what word can I apply and live here? And then, answering those questions in the moment, and pushing oneself to live the answers. The focus hence being on real time living and real time change.

For myself, I have practiced real time living for many years. It is difficult. One of these difficulties is to break through justifications. Because seeing that real time change is possible, which opens up in a moment, is usually accompanied by a justification of some sort, as to why it is not possible to live that solution immediately. An example would be that I have a moment of conflict with my partner regarding who is to do the dishes. During the conflict I am able to see that a solution would be to slow down, and instead of approaching it subjectively, to look at what can be done to prevent this conflict in the future, and hence suggest that we establish a schedule as to who is to be responsible for the dishes. Then, the justifications will come through as follows: ‘Why should I be the responsible one? She would not listen anyway, there is no meaning. It will not help establishing a schedule, we will not follow it anyway’.

A justification has the following definition in the dictionary ‘the action of showing something to be right or reasonable’. I recognize a justification by its argumentative style – its a reason that apparently make sense as to why I should not apply/live the solution I have identified. The best way I have found to not give into the justification in those moments is to simply not give it any room within me, but immediately act on the solution that I have seen. When I act immediately, there is no time or space to construct and follow a justification. Hence, immediacy is a effective tool to counter justifications – and this is something I will continue to practice – so that I can master the skill of moving pushing myself when challenges open up to EXPAND and LEARN.

Another point mentioned in the interviews is that what will now start coming through more and more is our own voice of reason and our ability to see and recognize what is best for us. However, the challenge that we will still face is to pull this reason through into reality. An example might be that we see for ourselves that it would be supportive if start working out regularly or that we start writing a dairy on a recurring basis. I see, for myself, that learning how to act on and will that voice of common sense into life will be a key skill to develop in order to make my creation process more effective. It is definitely something that I am going to pursue in the coming year.

Thus, what am I able to learn, what points do I see that I want to create after having listened to these interviews?

What I see as a priority for me is to create within me is to take on the challenge of the points that I find to be really difficult – and instead of reacting and going into a state of victimization – to push myself to ask what I am able to learn, how am I able to expand, and how I am able to move forward with this point? To not accept and allow myself to give up and believe that it is impossible for me to change what I am facing only because it is difficult. To not accept and allow any justification to hold me back, but to make the decision, to look at and live the solution.

I also want to manifest/bring into my life, my voice of reason. Here, I do see that there are a couple of interests that I have desired/considered taking on that I have let slide. I will also push myself to pursue those interests, because I know that they have something to offer – there is something for me to learn within them. Thus, instead of waiting for my interests to come to me, I will start actively engaging in all of the interests/projects that caught my eye.

To summarize – what I will focus on is Creation and Movement instead of waiting, hoping, and giving up – I want to bring INTO reality.



2012 A Nerd For Life

The nerd symbolizes the personality traits of being held back, introverted, highly skilled in a particular field, insecure, and as an outsider. The nerd is normally regarded and seen by the general populous as something inferior, a laughingstock, somebody that doesn’t know what’s in, what’s hip and cool – and how you impress the ladies. Yet, it is this generally accepted view of the nerd as inferior real, and true? Or is it yet another scheme of a system that in every way attempts to cripple, and diminish actual greatness, and integrity from being birthed in this world?

I remember when I grew up, I particularly enjoyed to play computer games, play with small cones – I equipped the cones with small wooden twigs, which then became the weapon of the cone, and then I waged grand-scale cone wars, having my twig-equipped cones ravage each-others sand houses, and fight each other out, and that game I really enjoyed. Yet, it was never something that I would tell any of my friends that I enjoyed, as I was about 12 years old and still played this game with myself, while the popular guys in school, now had decided that playing games wasn’t anymore cool; what was cool now was instead smoking, having sex, and drinking alcohol.

So, why did I fear so much to show to others who I really was? What I actually enjoyed and found fulfilling to do? The truth is that I feared to be an outsider, and I feared to be called a nerd, and so I gave up upon myself as my nerdy sides, I hid them from the world and instead desperately tried to fit myself into the various “cool” things that was suggested for a “cool” and “normal” guy to do. Obviously I found all of these “cool” things to be utterly boring, yet I still did these things, only in order to fit in and hide myself in the masses, so nobody would see that really – I was actually a nerd.

A real nerd wouldn’t have done what I did, a real nerd would’ve stuck with his hobbies and interests, and in the face of a crowd of people all doing the same thing, saying the same thing, thinking the same thing, the nerd would’ve stood out as a complete freak of nature – as someone that has an interest that isn’t one of alcohol, sex, drugs, money, or “being cool” – as someone that really is a actual being, and not a copycat.

Living in such a way, wherein you stick with what you enjoy to do, and continuing to stick what the interests that stimulate you, that is actual integrity, and such a way of living is in every way superior to living as a copy, attempting to impress other copies, that you’re the best and most popular copy. Nerds are in-fact people that have chosen to walk life in a way that isn’t mainstream, and for this they are judged, bullied, and shunned – while in reality they should be saluted as courageous human-beings that dare to stand by a principle they themselves have designed, and not by a principle that someone has given to them, saying: do this and you’ll be cool.

And while the popular people walk through their school years focused upon sex, alcohol and being cool, a nerd walk through his school years taking part in the education that is offered, learning new things, reading, exploring this reality for himself, getting to know himself, and being content with himself. As such a nerd, as someone that dares to stand on his own, that lives not from the fear of being disliked, and shunned, but from within his own interests and passions, truly expands, and develops himself in the school years, while his peers remain stagnant in the search for popularity.

It’s fascinating that the general and accepted view of nerds is that they are inferior; while truly they are very effective beings, with a self-image, that isn’t based upon what others think of them, but upon what they like to do.

In order to truly understand the greatness of a nerd, I suggest that you listen to this interview – as it explains, from the perspective of a nerd, how he instead of getting caught in the matrix of partying and sex – instead decided to use his youth in order to educate and develop himself, and enjoy himself within playing video games. That is real integrity, and real popularity – as your doing something for yourself, and as such you make yourself popular to yourself – and that is real courage, as daring to stand by yourself, when everyone else around you give in to the addictions, and the accepted ways and woes of this world – that is being self-honest.

Thus – I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become a nerd once again, now standing here pursuing in life that which I find enjoyable, and meaningful, and not that which others tell me is enjoyable and meaningful – and within this I’ve come to appreciate myself, and be content with myself – seeing and realizing that most things that are termed enjoyable in this world, are truly bullshit – and that the only real way to live, is in-fact living from within me, within this getting to know me – the actual nerdy me.