Tag Archives: hope

Day 358: From Dreaming To Self-Creation

There is a big misconception in society. That dreams are meant to be followed and fulfilled, that dreams are something positive that we should have in our lives and that will motivate us to move forward. This is not true. In-fact, dreams most of the time cause a devolution to happen, instead of a evolution. The reasons for this are easy to see. Firstly, dreams are always created/experienced/felt within the mind. Hence, following and valuing dreams automatically causes a rift, where self gets separated from the physical living that is here. And instead of living, interacting, and expanding with what is HERE and REAL – self becomes consumed by the dream – and pursues a direction that is only based on this image.

It is similar to a drug addiction. The addict will be motivated by his urge to consume drugs and he will easily forget his reality in order to fulfill his desires, and according to the addict, what is of primary importance is to realize his addiction. In this state of mind, responsibilities, consideration and care for others as well as self, will be given secondary importance. The consequences of such a behavior is obvious – most of us have seen what drug addiction does to a human being if the addiction is allowed to continue for a prolonged time. And even though the addiction to dreams does not have the same visible and consequential outflows as drug addiction, dreaming still seriously impacts our ability to live effectively and consider the life of others.

However, there is another thing about dreams that is not understood. Dreams are not meant to be followed, in-fact, the function of dreaming is to be a way sign, a way to navigate and look at what is currently amiss within self as a living expression. The solution to dreaming is thus to learn to decode the dreams and see what they are showing about self and in that answer the question, what is missing within self that causes this dream to exist?

An example from my own life would be the following. I dream/desire to get a new power tool that would allow me to perform a new woodworking technique, and hence support me to expand and challenge myself in my hobby of woodworking. Looking at the content of the dream, the words that come through are NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE. Thus, what the dream is showing, is not that that I must have a new power tool. Rather, the dream indicates that I am not practicing living the words NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE in relation to my hobby of woodworking. And looking at my relationship with woodworking, I can see that this is true, and that instead of moving myself to take on new projects, I have accepted and allowed myself to wait, and hold back, believing that with the last project I finished, I was now allowed to feel satisfied with myself and put my woodworking hobby to the side for a moment.

The trick is thus to make the substance and essence of the dreams/desires that come up within us PRACTICAL and LIVABLE here – to make them concrete and put them into action – in such a way that we are able to live what our dreams show us instead of trying to align our reality to the visual content of the dream – because it is NOT about the visuals – it is about OURSELVES and our SELF-EXPRESSION.

To summarize and conclude: We look at the RESONANCE and SUBSTANCE of the dreams – the WORDS that can be read in between the lines – and put those words/expressions into PRACTICAL application in our Daily Living – that is the solution.


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Day 335: Slowing Down

Of all animal species on earth, human beings is the only one capable of creating a dream/goal/vision, and then, walk through life with the sole focus of fulfilling that future point of creation. All other types of animals lives and creates in the moment with no particular idea of how they would like their future to look like. As much as this skill we have is what makes us powerful, extraordinary and capable of building magnificent things, it is also our greatest weakness, in particular when our drive/desire to bring something into creation ‘out there’ gets in the way of living and experiencing life on a day to day basis HERE.

To better understand this point I will share an example from my own life. All since beginning my university studies some 6 years ago, I have been very motivated to get through them and to dive into the world system and start applying myself in my area of expertise. This focus of mine was initially very supportive, because I was clear and determined, I knew where I was going and had a general idea of how I was going to get there. However, when I was about to finish my studies, and I applied for the last advanced courses, a doubt and insecurity started to creep up within me. I had achieved excellent marks and before me was a world of opportunities, though the problem was that I had no particular interest or passion in any field or area. For me, all the various focuses that I could decide to move into where the same. On top of this, there was a conflict within me, as to whether I should choose a focus where there was more money, or a focus that was more aligned with what I enjoyed to do.

This uncertainty grew within me and continued for a long while after I was done with my university studies. I just did not feel comfortable in deciding on a focus, on a direction, and on where I wanted to take my life. I felt like it was too much of a decision, because, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I after several years realized that I had moved in the wrong direction? What was I supposed to do then? At that point I would have wasted all of these years, when I instead could have made the right decision immediately. Hence, what became my focus was what I wanted to do in the future, not, what I wanted to do, and what I was already involved with HERE. Because, as I was having these uncertainties about my future, I at the same time enrolled in a advanced class, and I continued to pursue hobbies and leisurely interests – yet always with this little voice deep inside my mind reminding me that I did not really know what to make of myself in my future.

It is fascinating to look back and see how this pattern of wanting to know and be clear on who I am going to be, and what I am going to do in my future plays out, and what that consequences flows from this mind design. In trying so desperately to know what we going to create with our lives, we miss out on the actual real life process of creating and building ourselves, our days, our interests, our careers, and all of the various things that are included in this thing we call life. Instead of creation being HERE, in the moment, in the physical, something that we express naturally as WHO WE ARE, life then becomes mechanic, where we fill ourselves up with logical assessments and attempts at making final and conclusive decisions as to where we are going, FORGETTING that, life can only be effectively lived in the moment – and while it is possible to have a plan and general outline of where we are going – it is not possible to decide upon where we will end up eventually.

I had a chat with a friend of mine during the time when my uncertainties reached a peak, and she shared with me the following:

We often think that things only get moving THERE in the FUTURE – when all the while, to create that future – starts with EVERY DAY, that little you do to get things moving and building on it however much you can with each passing day.

This statement has been the SOLUTION for me to move out of my inner madness of continuously wondering about, considering, and looking at what I should do – and instead embracing what is HERE.

I find it fascinating how it is so, so easy to become overwhelmed and lost within feelings and fantasies of what we should be doing, want to do, feel like doing, resist doing, hope to do, dream about doing, instead of focusing on WHAT WE ARE DOING and what is POSSIBLE in the life we already live here. It is so easy to get lost in thoughts about doing and experiencing things that are not a practical or a realistic option, and at the same time, completely forgetting and missing what is right in-front of us.

Now, creation starts HERE, with the small and seemingly insignificant acts that things moving in the direction we have foreseen. If you have an urge to learn a new language, however, you have looked at it and realized that there is no time to do to pursue a course or travel a country where that language is spoken – then – instead of getting stuck in that state of wondering – look at of the box – what small thing are you able to do in your everyday life that will bring you closer to the goal that you have set for yourself. Maybe, one such act would be to buy a audio beginners language course and then practice and  learn the new language while driving to work?

When we SLOW the fuck DOWN – stop rushing and looking at what we must reach out there in the future – and bring our focus BACK HERE – that is when shit starts to make sense. Whatever it is that we want, on some level, it is already here and ripe for the taking – we just need to open our eyes – see it – and act.


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Day 320: The Solution to Negativity

Put on the news for a while, and then analyze the content for yourself, was it negative or positive? Then, do the same with your inner backchat, observe it for a while, and then see if it is more negative than positive. Most likely, what you will find is that there is a lot more negativity than positivity. This is nothing wrong per say, it is simply how we have set up our minds, and thus our external reality, to function. However, this way of looking at life does lead to consequences and does create limitations. Most importantly, being caught in the negative precludes an active search for SOLUTIONS and it causes us to forget our POTENTIAL and the OPPORTUNITIES that are here which can be utilized to enhance our lives.

In order to expound on this point I am going to utilize an example from my own life, where I could clearly see, that my way of approaching the situation in a state of negativity, further cemented and procreated that negativity, in the other words, a form of snowballing. I moved to a farm situated on the countryside about a year ago and I do enjoy many aspects of the rural life, though from time to time I have missed living in a more populated area. This conflict was intense as I first moved here, and I had a tendency on only focusing on what was bad with the countryside; it was far to the nearest shop, there were few career opportunities, there were no people around with interest similar to mine, and I had many more responsibilities to handle when compared to living in a small apartment. I thought to myself that I had made a big mistake.

Then, slowly, I started to open up to the countryside, and I naturally acquired new hobbies that are connected to living on a farm, such as gardening, maintenance and upkeep of machines and houses as well as learning about animals and plants. I decided to explore bees and applied for a bee-keeping course, and got to know a lot of new people living in my neighborhood, many of them interested and passionate about plants and insects. A new life started to take shape, a life that I was curious to explore and get to know, and that I actually experienced more passion and interest towards if compared with the hobbies I had while I was living in the town.

This process of growth and expansion took place naturally as I started to embrace my new living situation and push myself to interact and participate physically – HERE – instead of being in my mind thinking about what could have, or what should have been. Hence, as I embraced life HERE – I began to see the opportunities right in front of me – I began to see a future and a potential for myself on the farm – something that was here all the time but that I had not had the ability to create or walk into before as I was too much in my mind.

What I have come to realize through this process is the importance of WHO WE ARE within what we do – it is not about whether we live in a town, or on the countryside, and it is not about whether we got the we always dreamt of, or are able to pursue the hobby we always desired – it is about what we do with it – it is about HOW we approach it, how we RELATE to it, WHO we decide to be; that is what makes all the difference. The fact that I have been able to expand and embrace the countryside has nothing to do with where I live, it was because I stopped thinking about where I lived, and placed my attention on CREATING my potential. And the nice thing about our potential is that it never goes away, it is always here, within us, ready to be developed and realized and put into manifestation regardless of where we are or what we do.

What we can all learn from this is that when we feel negative, depressed or hopeless about our current situation and environment, instead of going into that experience, we can realign our focus and look at and hold within us, our POTENTIAL. To see our potential, we must come back to reality, we must let go of that murmuring backchat in the mind and embrace what is physically here, and then, when we are here, we can begin to see how we are able to create ourselves within the given circumstances in a way that is best for ourselves, and . And sure, it is important to recognize that which we are dissatisfied with, however, it is equally important to take that dissatisfaction into a physical movement, of changing and directing ourselves, and our lives, to become better. There is always a potential, a best practice, and our job is to find it, hold it, and not let it go from our sights until it is HERE as a physical manifestation. This way we are actually doing something productive with our negative state, as we utilize it is a force of creativity, to push ourselves to make the best of ourselves.


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Day 258: Creating Movement – Part 4: Learning To Handle Resistance

In my past blogs in the Creating Movement Series I have gone into my own history with laziness, and also looked at some of the causes behind this particular mind construct. In this blog I will start to go through the practical solutions that I applied to walk through and direct laziness, and transform it into motivation, discipline and steadfastness. From my own experience, in order to change laziness, one of the most important points to get to grips with, and become comfortable with directing is resistance – because when you decide to change laziness into something more productive – you will face resistance and lots of it.

The usual and learned response to resistance is to simply back off – if we resist something it means bad news, discomfort, and pain. This is unfortunate, because as a matter of fact, any form of change is nearly always accompanied with resistance. In-fact this resistance can be seen in nature, as a natural law, when a object is in motion, and you try to stop it, and move it in another direction, you will experience that physical force fighting with you, until you stop it, and then move it in the direction that you want it. All motion has a force to it, and when we try to change it, there will be a period of discomfort – the same goes with changing laziness into motivation, self-discipline, and steadfastness.

Thus, the first point to master is resistance. And in the beginning of my process of changing laziness I experienced immense amounts of resistance the moment I stood before an opportunity to act, or I faced a responsibility that I had to tend to. There was not a single cell in my body that wanted to move forward, and with each step that I took, my body felt heavier, and heavier. It felt as if the only right thing to do was to go back to the sofa or bed, to simply not change this laziness, because the thought emerged: How can I ever push through this resistance, how can I ever become effective, and productive, when this heavy experience is following me with every step that I take?

Resistance however, even though it might feel intolerable, and create the illusion that it is impossible to go any further, will pass; it will lessen, and eventually disappear. This is due to the nature of resistance, because in essence resistance is energy – and no energy has a substance and solidity that can be compared with that of the human physical body. Thus physical self-directed movement will always come out on top of the resistance, though to reach that transcendence – you will have to walk through the moment when it feels impossible. The fascinating thing is that when you push through that experience of ‘it is impossible – I can not go on any more!’ – you will see that it is only a thought, only a illusion conjured by the mind, and that it is in-fact possible to move forward, to move ahead, even though it feels impossible.

So, when the resistance comes up, it helps a lot to have this understanding, that eventually the resistance will settle, and then you will be able to do what you set out to do without any experience hindering your progress. It is so fascinating to look back at my past, and see how much it was that I resisted: I resisted cleaning, resisted writing, resisted school, resisted reading, resisted exercise, resisted being social, etc. Today, there is none, or very slight resistance towards these things – why? Because I consistently pushed myself through the resistance, I consistently reprogrammed myself, and decided for myself that resistance is not going to hold me back – I will push through it when it comes up – and thus resistance lost its meaning and purpose – there is no room for resistance anymore because I have replaced it with words/expressions that are beneficial for myself, and others – such as motivation, self-discipline, and steadfastness.

As such – we are all able to push through resistance. Though, it does take practice, and I myself have fallen many times, given up, given in, went to bed, slept over, because I felt overpowered by the resistance. And here is another thing to remember, that it does not help to be hard on yourself when you fall, rather, stand up again, look at why the fall occurred – and move forward. Eventually you will not fall anymore, though there is a process to be walked until one is able to get to that point where the trust exists within self that each time resistance comes up – I will push through.

In my next blog I will walk through the Practical Solutions that I have found for handling and directing resistance.

Creating Movement – Part 1: Introduction
Creating Movement – Part 2: How laziness is created – external causes
Creating Movement – Part 3: How Laziness is Created – Internal Causes
Creating Movement – Part 4: Learning To Handle Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 5: Practical Solutions for Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 6: Baby Steps To Change
Creating Movement – Part 7: The Rewards

Day 224: Seeing The Opportunities Here

For some months now I’ve been in the process of contemplating and looking at where I’m able to go with my career and how I can define and move it in such a way so that I can create an outcome that would not only be best for me – but best for all. This have been an interesting journey, because I’ve had many realizations as to what it really does mean to move myself within this world to create an effect and have a influence.

The most prominent realization I’ve had is that the opportunity to create a position for myself in the world system, a direction and purpose that I’m able to walk and through that have an effect, is not something that is existent OUT THERE in the future – rather – the opportunities to create value in the lives of others is a prospect that is existent HERE. I’ve found that I wanted to have this perfect point in the system, for example to work as a humanitarian lawyer, and in that promote change – and immediately – from the get go – be in a position that would allow me to voice the message of creating a better life for all of humanity – though – this is NOT how it works.

Because the things is that we exist in a system that for such a long time have only functioned within and around very primitive motives and drives – most of the organizations out there have a limited starting point; such as helping societies outcasts to achieve food and a roof over their head, or supporting impoverished children to achieve an education, or collecting funding for some new vaccine – there is almost NO group that focuses on a solution that would correct the origin problems of our society. THOUGH – the thing is that when we walk out into the system, and place ourselves in a position – we can’t expect that point to immediately be effective and aligned according to the principles we see would bring a permanent change – rather – we must CREATE that position to become that change.

So, with regards to a career and placing myself in the system, what I see is that regardless of what point I place myself within – it’s going to be up to me to change and direct that point to become a life-supporting and nourishing complement to this world – it’s not going to be that from the get go – I must build it, will it, and bring it into fruition.

And thus – it’s not about the career, the profession, or where I place myself in the world, it’s about WHO I AM within what I do – and thus I can place myself in for example, the position of the corporate lawyer – and from within that point find directions, loopholes, and potentials that I can start to build on – support and enhance to be able to bring through a more supportive and effective existence. For example, as a corporate lawyer, one could make it a purpose for oneself to assist and support new and upcoming businesses free of charge, seeing that such businesses hold potential and value that will assist and support humanity as a whole – thus changing the profession, directing the career, molding it according to WHO I AM instead of wanting the career and profession to give all the answers and already be a pre-set route where it’s all already done.

This realization has been important to me, because now I’m able to see that the stress, and doubt I’ve experienced towards making the decision of where I’m to place myself isn’t in-fact relevant – it takes my focus away from that which is important – which is ME and WHO I AM in every moment of breath. Because WHO I AM is the in-fact the foundation of everything that I do in my life – and it will determine the outcome of all points that I decide to take on and walk into. Thus – to select a path is a point of practicality and also of seeing where one have the necessary skills to be able to walk one’s career effectively – though the point of using that career and path to make a difference in this world – that is a matter of WHO I AM – a point of being CREATIVE and OPEN to possibilities and to see things from new perspectives – and not get caught up in the idea that I can only affect change through these select few and limited professions and career paths – CHANGE is something we bring into this world because WE decide to do so – not because our professions makes it possible for us to do it.

And maybe that is the true meaning of the word activist – someone that is ACTIVE in creating their life and purpose regardless of the position they find themselves within in this world.

Day 209: The Fountain of Life

Since I began opening up my point of purpose a couple of interesting realizations have emerged – and one of these are in relation to my choice of career – my decision of what I am going to do in this life in order to make money.

The problem that I’ve been facing is that of continuously preparing, changing and altering myself in order to fit into the idea of my future, and the concept of what I am going to do with my life, and the projection of how my life will pan out – thus – trying to alter and mold myself in this breath here in order to fit into a concept of a future that I’ve created in my mind – naturally this is going to cause problems.

This is not the first time that I’ve done this – creating a goal – a end-station – a point of future fulfillment and then going full on to reach that is a trait that have been with me since I can remember. The tendency is thus to formulate a final destination in my mind and then attempt and try to shape myself here – to fit into that idea of a final destination – instead of walking in the moment – within self-trust – knowing my direction and my purpose – and thus taking it breath by breath – realizing that I can only create in alignment with me and my physical if I am HERE and aware of what is going on both within and without.

Because when following a goal, a dream, a clearly defined picture in my mind – neither me as a being, nor my physical reality is taken into account – and consequently points are compromised, forgotten or missed – and the end result even though the initial goal might be fulfilled is not at all what it makes out to be – it’s rather a picture that underneath holds a lot of suffering and harm that was lived out in order to create the idea of the perfect life.

This is what I did when I decided to become a famous and recognized guitar player – I made a goal within me of what I wanted to become – then I started to shape all of my life, myself, my looks, my clothes, what I used my time for, everything, in order to attain that one singular future – obviously resulting in compromises – also resulting in me not seeing that guitar and music might not be the things that best complement my expression – not seeing that there are many other opportunities in my world that might be more relevant for me to walk into if accept and allow myself to do so.

Thus – goals, dreams, future hopes – when made into absolutes they become blindfolds and barricades that limits us from living HERE – because to live HERE we require to open to what comes our way – open to changes, new directions, new considerations, new perspectives, new people, new goals, new insights – unknown variables that we’re not able to foresee – but that unfolds as we walk the purpose and the decision we’ve given to ourselves.

As such it’s important that we give ourselves direction – to give ourselves purpose and a way forward – yet that way forward must only ever be a road sign – a sense of direction – that “Okay – I am going this way!” – not an absolute truth of how our future must turn out – not a undebatable religion that must be fulfilled at all cost – because a road sign must not determine the final destination – that must be something I do here – I am the driver and the road sign is merely a road signing pointing the direction as to where I want to go – yet I am actively creating – willing and moving myself towards the destination – as I proceed forward in life.

Here what opens up is the point of standing as the fountain of life – and making that fountain of expression that is me the point of creation from which my movement flows and moves – it’s thus a complete shift in perspective that is required – to instead of moving from the idea of where I should go – move from HERE as SEEING where I am to go next – where I am going to place my foot thereafter. Thus – making the pivotal point of movement MYSELF – SELF – the fountain of life HERE.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require the mind in order to create – and that the only way to create my future is to attempt and try to change myself here into what I believe is required and needed for me to build my future – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself within and as self-trust – and moving and directing myself in the moment to create my future and external reality with me as the primary point of creation – as the fountain of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself as a fountain of life – and as a movement and as the motivation to create and bring things into motion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead place my trust into plans, goals and techniques – and ways to reach what I believe I require and need in order to get somewhere – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself as the fountain of life – and create my life and living HERE – create my future HERE – create my career and my relationship to money HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve been limiting myself in relation to self-creation – and in relation to creating my life and my future – through giving authority to the mind – as believing that in order for me to create and build – in order for me to further myself – move myself and get ahead – I require to emulate and mold myself here – and prepare myself into a particular shape and form to be able to fit into my future and my coming life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk into the future – to walk into my life – to walk here and direct myself in accordance with what is opening up in the moment – to trust myself that I’ll be able to direct and live my life here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible in relation to creation – wherein I believe that I require to form one plan – one idea – one fix notion of what my future must become – and how my future must be – and then that I shape and form myself here in order for me to fit into my future – and fit into my becoming in this world – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk into this life and this world as the fountain of life – and trust myself that I’ll be able to open up and direct my life in each and every moment as it opens up – that I’ll be able to create myself and direct myself according to the points that emerge and that I can find solutions and ways to deal with my life as I see it develops and moves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to stand as the fountain of life in relation to money and career – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in order for me to create an effective future for myself – I must become something different from what I am here – instead of me creating my future as a expression of myself – as something that I move from here into creation – that I move from myself as the living breath and the living movement of the physical into actuality and physical manifestation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’m able to walk a purpose and a direction in my life – and that I make this purpose and direction my stability and groundedness – and that I then move from this point – yet I don’t accept and allow myself to become controlled and limited by any goal or plan – but that I remain here with myself in realizing that all creation stem from this point of HERE – and that in order for creation to be effective and potent – I require to be stable within myself – and make the movement of my life come into creation from myself as the fountain of life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a state of inflexibility, as moving myself from within and as a starting point that I must change myself, mold myself, and refigure myself in order to fit into my idea of how my future should play out – I stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I make the goal and the plan more than me – more than what is here – more than common sense in the moment – I am limiting myself and my creation of myself into the physical – and I am making myself less effective because I wait for me to change and mold myself into what I believe I must be instead of me moving and directing myself to express myself; thus I commit myself to stand as the fountain of life – and create my future – create my life – create myself HERE – and trust myself that I will walk what comes up in my world – that I will direct myself according to the points that I see are developing here and find solutions – and find the way forward

I commit myself to trust myself to stand as the fountain of life in my world – and to create my external reality equal and one to this fountain of life – and thus CREATE myself and my life – CREATE what I want my life to be – and not anymore wait for things to emerge – and hope that things are going to happen – but move myself everyday to actually will a change in my life and in myself that I’m satisfied and content with

Day 201: Studies and Self-Worth

The season of exams usually comes with stress and anxiety for me – though this time around I’ve been willing myself to consistently utilize the tool of self-forgiveness and breathing to bring myself out of this worrisome state of mind.

In going deeper into these reactions I’ve realized one fascinating thing – that often the reason that I am anxious and worried is because I want to receive a good mark, and excel in the course – though – and here is the interesting part – it’s not actually for ME. I’ve found that the reason I want to excel, the reason I want to get great marks is because I want OTHERS to like me, to be impressed by me, to find some worth and value in me – and so this shows an interesting separation in my starting point in regards to studies – that there exist a point of wanting to prove myself to others, and build my self-value and worth through the reactions, and experiences others have towards me.

I’ve seen that there are some primary persons that I desire to impress, and included in that number is my parents, and my family – even though I am soon in my thirties this point exist within me – that I want to show how good I am to my parents and through that gain a feeling of value and worth. Otherwise there is no actual person I want to impress, rather it’s me wanting to be impressive in general, and to be that I require to be in some favorable and highly regarded position in the system – where I will be seen as a winner, gain the respect and admiration from others, and apparently within that be valuable.

Thus – the point I want to reach is to get back to myself – and do my studies for ME – set high standards and far reaching goals for MYSELF – and not to impress another – and in this be unconditional with myself – and if I happen to fail in reaching my goals or living up to my standards – to then assist and support myself to enhance myself – and not judge myself, or go into worry, fear, and anxiety – rather push myself, will myself, and drive myself – yet without a energy driving me forward.

So, I see that when I study for my exams, and when I do my exams, I can transform this desire to be approved, to instead utilizing these situations as challenges, where I push myself to remain stable in the face of adversities and challenges – and where I push myself to reach my goals, and apply myself to the best of my ability – and not accept and allow anything less of myself than what I know am capable of – and where I take into account that my studiousness will pay off in that it will be a stepping stone into my future – thus I take the point back to myself – and make studying something I do for myself – make exams something that I do for me – make schooling and education something that I do for me – something that I walk and that I can utilize to challenge myself, grow and expand.

Thus – instead of anxiety and stress – rather look with excitement and thrill towards placing myself in a situation where I will be challenged mentally and physically – because there I know that I can push myself, will myself, and expand myself beyond what I thought myself capable of doing – as such I walk into the system realizing that it’s an adventure that will challenge me in a multitude of ways – and that even though it might be physically arduous and tough – I can still enjoy and utilize the process as nourishment in my self-growth – because I decide to do that.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change and transform the challenge of walking in the system, the difficulties, that hardships, into points that I use to grow, to expand and to develop myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make schooling, exams, and university studies an expression of myself – something that I do for myself – something that I will myself to excel within and create the best possible outcome within – as a personal challenge for me to expand myself – as well as realizing that it’s through this process that I am setting the bedrock for my future in the world money system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the challenge, the difficulty, and the arduous process of creating a life for myself in this world, and this system – and see, realize and understand that even though it can be physically and demanding – that I don’t require to burden myself emotionally – but that I can walk through it and remain within and as the stability my human physical body provides – and utilize my life as a platform upon which I create the character of life I see have the potential to live – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my exam that I am going to have tomorrow – to embrace all possible outcomes – to embrace all possible outflows – and to stabilize myself within and as my human physical body and remain stable throughout the event

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to excel in my studies, and get the best mark, get recognized and highly valued by my teachers, and my parents, thinking that this is how I generate value for myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally value myself – to not unconditionally give myself the piece of mind to know that regardless of the outcome of the test and my exams – I will stand by myself in stability within and as my human physical body – and not accept and allow myself to be influenced on a feeling or emotional level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nervous and anxious as to not producing the best mark tomorrow at my exam – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and define my self-value and self-worth according to the mark I receive – and according to the reactions I receive from family members and other close relatives as to my grades – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus not accept myself unconditionally – and embrace the test and all outcomes and realize that regardless of what mark I receive I will still love myself – and accept myself – and not accept and allow myself to limit my relationship with myself upon the basis of how I am graded and categorized in the system of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous and anxious that I won’t produce the best mark – that I will receive questions that are too difficult and tough to get through – and that I am because of that going to fail with my exam – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a hope and desire within me – that I am going to succeed with my exams – that I am going to succeed with my education – that I am going to be able to get a fantastic and desirable job when I am done with my degree – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto that positive self-image in my mind – and have that as a desire that burns within me and drives me forward – not realizing that this creates an equal amount of fear and anxiety that serves to stagnate me and make me mentally ineffective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value through the self-definition that ‘I am intelligent’ and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the only real value and skill that I have is that I can study effectively, memorize information, and then repeat it before teachers and get good grades in school – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my relationship with myself in thinking that all of my stability and my value rests upon my enabling myself to achieve in school – not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is not all of me – that this doesn’t signify the entirety of my relationship with myself – and thus I commit myself to accept and value myself regardless of how I am evaluated and defined through marks and grades in school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value and accept myself regardless of marks and grades in school – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that marks and grades in school is my only asset – the only thing that I have to compete with in this harsh and brutal world – and that thus I must at all stages always impress upon others – and make sure that I get the best grades – the best marks – and that I prove my excellence and capabilities to others – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and give myself the present of valuing and accepting myself unconditionally – not accepting and allowing any roadblocks within me to stand in the way of me living me life in a constant state of stability – where I don’t fluctuate or move regardless of the situation I am facing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for acceptance and stability – and expect these expressions to come through when and if I am able to effectively place myself in the world system – and create a life for myself that is stable with regards to money – and where I have a prestigious and highly regarded job – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my own salvation – to wait for my own life to happen – instead of me giving myself permission and allowance to live that here – to not anymore wait for something to manifest in my future – but instead give this point to myself here – that I am stability – that I am sound and grounded – and regardless of the outcome of my test and my exam – I will stand here grounded and stable with myself and not accept and allow myself to waver

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into the worrisome-character, as thinking about whether or whether not I am going to get the best mark in the test and exam to come, and whether or whether not I’ll be able to get a good and prestigious job in the future – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this fear and anxiety is misplaced – that I don’t require it and need to live a fulfilling life – and that I must give myself the permission to not succeed with my goals and plans – and be fine with that – and stand in such a way within me that regardless of how my physical reality moves – I remain grounded – physical – sound and stable – and nothing moves within me; thus I commit myself to breathe through these reactions – and ground myself back into my physical body – and state to myself that I am here – and I accept and value myself regardless of the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to with self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements – work with my self-experience – so that I don’t anymore go into anxiety and fear when I am faced with challenges in this world with regards to money – and thus I commit myself to practice and create a stability within me that can’t be touched – that is unbreakable – that is untouchable – and that regardless of the outcome in my world – I stand within and as this stability and move myself

I commit myself to accept and love myself regardless of the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to not base my value and worth on the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to support myself through the exam – and through writing the exam – through breathing and grounding myself back into my human physical body – and not accepting and allowing myself to make this event in anyway emotional – but rather walk through it as the physical and mental challenge that it is in-fact – and enjoy the point of seeing how effective I can be in this pressure situation – and how I can push myself to be stable and walk the point regardless of the pressure of the situation