Tag Archives: impulsive

Day 295: Preparation and Planning – then – Execution

Today at work, I had a moment of epiphany. Now, for some context, in my line of work; precision, detail, thoroughness, and specificity are very important. An entire body of work can in practice be ruined if some small details are missed. That is why, in order to do the work effectively, one requires the abilities and skills of patience, structure, and precision. Without those it is hard to produce quality work.

So, back to the situation at my work. I had been given a task, and I was eager to get it done. And more specifically, I was in a slight rush. In my mind was circulating things like; “better get this thing done now, as I will not have any time tomorrow” – and “I must move and be productive” – so there was a movement within me of wanting to get to the state of execution – and be over and done with this project.

Now, I did execute the task, finished it, and it unfortunately turned out there were some mistakes in my work, which were pointed out to me as it was sent back to me for editing. So, in that moment I looked within me and asked myself how it is that I am creating these moments for myself, where I miss points and err because I have not paid attention, not seemingly been able to identify the mistakes at all. This brought me to the realization that I have a tendency to want to force execution – or force the ACTION stage in the process of creation.

I could see, that in my line of work, and in many other areas of life as well, the act of creation is a two-step process. First step is the planning and preparation phase. This is the phase where the point to be created is researched, the information is gathered, and the execution is planned. Basically the following questions are asked; what is going to be created, how is it going to be created, why is it going to be created, and when is it going to be created? These questions are important to answer, because when entering the phase of execution, if there is no plan, no clear direction on where I am going, it is easy for me to loose my overview, and get lost in the experience of creating.

I could see that what happens to me, and that results in these errs that I tend to make, is that I many times skip, or rush through the phase of planning and preparation, and enter prematurely into the execution phase. And then I will move around in the execution phase, in a state of forcing myself forward, trying to reach a result, leaving a sloppy trail of small errors in my wake – which will then come back to bite me in my ass later, because I have not taken the time to prepare, to execute, and then, also to cross-reference my creation. All in all, the process of creation has been rushed, which creates the consequence of a imperfect result.

I could see from my life that when I had planned and prepared effectively before proceeding into the execution state, most of the time my creations had been satisfying. For example, my most recently bought car, I am very satisfied with this purchase. This is no coincidence, because before the purchase, I put in a lot of time into researching what car would be best for me, that would fit my needs. I took myself the time to ask the questions, what is it that I want? What is it that I require? What is important and what is not? And this resulted in me buying a car that effectively satisfies my needs and requirements.

Then I have examples from when I did not plan or prepare effectively. I recently bought a couple of expensive shoes, with a leather sole. I bought them because I did require shoes to fit with one of my suits, though, I had not investigated the brand of shoes I bought, or the characteristics of leather sole shoes. And I had not really shopped around to see if there was something better out there. After I bought the shoes, which happened impulsively, I realized that these type of shoes are very sensitive to the Scandinavian climate, and can barely be utilized as outdoor shoes. And that is not very good in my situation, because what I require are shoes that can be used both outdoors, and indoors. Hence, I bought a couple of shoes that does not fully suit my needs, and the consequence of this is that I will have to purchase another couple of shoes that do fit my requirements.

Hence, planning and preparation are very important aspects in the process of creation. Without planning and preparation, there is a much greater likelihood that the phase of action will be filled with errors, mistakes and unwanted outflows. What I will practice is thus to walk through the two steps of creation with patience, specificity, and calm – not rush the process of creation – instead walking in the tempo of breath – one breath at a time. And when I am satisfied with my preparation, then I move into action, and fulfill the process of creation.

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Day 130: Planning for Failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan ahead, and make decisions for my future from a starting point of disbelief, lack and fear – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan in such a way as to avoid failure, and avoid realizing my fears, not realizing that when I plan, and make decisions from this starting point I am in-fact sabotaging myself, as I am not accepting and allowing myself to make the BEST decision, and to make the BEST plan – but I am rather making a plan that will hopefully not place me in the particular situation that I fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the starting point of my future plans and decisions to make the BEST future for myself, to make the MOST of my life, and to walk, and do that which I see that I want to do, and that which I see would contribute, and bring forth what is best for all – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in an experience of lack, fear and disbelief, wherein I do not push myself to make my plans, and decisions a expression of self-movement, and self-expansion, but rather an attempt to try and avoid that which I don’t want to happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as, and create an idea of myself that I am not good enough, and that I lack, and as such believe that my decisions, and my movement of myself, must be based upon the notion of me attempting to avoid failure, and avoid the worst case scenario, and avoid my life becoming worthless – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rather move myself in the direction that would challenge me the most, that would contribute to my life, and the life’s of others the most, that would make a difference in my life, as well as in the life’s of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in regards to my future impulsively, and to become addicted to making various decisions, and change my decisions in regards to the future, because I fear making a decision that is effective for me, and then sticking to it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impulsive in my movement in my life – instead of being determined, and patient – instead of accepting and allowing myself to make a decision and then stick with it – and realize that the fears and doubts coming up within are but fears and doubts – and do not mean that my initial decision is invalid – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work with these fears and doubts as they arise within me – to immediately take them on – and not accept and allow them to fester within me – to take hold of me – and to influence my decision making and my plans for my future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I make a decision, to immediately as information come into my world that is not aligned with my initial idea of the decision I made – to go into fears and anxiety, and doubt, and impulsively, without accepting and allowing myself to carefully consider to information, to be patient, to be steadfast, and stable in considering new information, and to as such not immediately leave my initial decision – but to accept and allow myself to cross-reference – and to accept and allow myself to make decision slowly in such a pace that is effective for me – for me to be certain that I know what I deciding and that I know where I am coming from – and I know what it is that I am creating and how I am going to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impulsive in regards to decision making – and make decisions without reflecting, pondering, and looking at the point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself when I make decisions impulsively – and be impulsively – meaning that I make a decision in a reaction, and in a experience – immediately changing my initial direction and movement – because I do not experience that as being correct and right anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and allow myself to move more slowly in regards to decisions – to realize that only because something is not as I initially imagined it to be – and as I initially saw it to be – this doesn’t mean that I have to throw away my old decisions and plans – that I immediately on the spot have to change everything that I have walked up to this point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient with myself – and to not accept and allow myself to cross-reference my decisions – to cross-reference my considerations – to as such make sure that when I make decisions – and when I make plans – that it’s specific – it’s effective – and that it’s aligned with what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as fears when I make decisions, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions from a starting point of fear of survival, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my decisions are not more effective because I make them in fears – they are not more specific – more directive – and more to the point only because there is a fear involved – rather – it’s the opposite – and that when I make decisions in fear – the decision is not based upon what is a physical fact – what is real – and what I am able to verify for myself and cross-reference with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not when I have doubts, and fears come up within me, and I feel the urge to make a decision, to then stop myself, take a breath, and bring myself back here – and discipline myself to not make a decision upon the basis of this experience – but to rather breathe through it and let it go – and within that accept and allow myself to stabilize and stand here with and as my human physical body – and let the fear and the doubt go unconditionally – and then make sure then when I make decisions and plan – that I am clear within myself – that there is no movement – that there is no fear – but that I am stable

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into fear, doubt, and anxiety, and that I want to make decisions, and plans, in order for me to avoid, and escape these fears, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that a decision based upon these experiences will not be effective – it will not be specific – it will not be aligned with and as reality and that which I am able to prove to myself is physical – stable – here; and as such I commit myself to breathe through these emotions – to stabilize myself here – and when I look at a plan or decision – to make sure that there is no movement within me and that I am stable – and to not make a decision until I am clear within myself

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