In the next blog – I am going to continue with how self-forgiveness assisted and supported me to learn to enjoy learning, studying and education – and how I within that came to develop a fondness for reading, writing, and the dry subject of law.
Many that are introduced to self-forgiveness have difficulty in understanding why they should forgive themselves? Because from their perspective, they’ve not done anything bad, or wrong in their life, then there shouldn’t be anything to forgive, right?
Though, what must be understood is that self-forgiveness is not about right or wrong, good or bad, correct or incorrect – self-forgiveness is the process of establishing a relationship with yourself – it’s the process of getting to know yourself and seeing the potential that you have within yourself to create a life for yourself and those in your world that is optimal – that is best for all.
Self-forgiveness is a magnificent tool because it has no limitations, with self-forgiveness you’re able to investigate, penetrate and change all aspects of your life – education and studies being but one of these dimensions. Though regardless of what dimension that you decide to take and change with self-forgiveness – the outcome and result is the same; namely that you’re relationship to the particular aspect and dimension of your world change from being one-dimensional and based on a positive/negative feeling/emotion or both – into becoming multi-dimensional – wherein you start to approach a particular aspect of your life in looking at how you’re able to express yourself in/with that point, how you’re able to develop yourself, and how you’re able to enhance yourself through/within that point.
So, with regards to studies: As I mentioned in my last blog – studies up until I began university was mostly a struggle – it was tedious – restricted and boring – there were no challenges – and most of all – there didn’t seem to be any life in it; to me it appeared to be about learning things, meaningless things, memorizing things, numbers, events, persons, concepts, and ideas – for no purpose – no meaning – but for survival and in the hopes of one day being able to sustain myself with a job and have enough money to get through the day; and that wasn’t good enough for me. This however came to change when I began the process of forgiving myself and investigating my mind.
When I began my university studies I opted to study for law – now what is fascinating about the subject of law, is that most people that aren’t acquainted with the subject, tend to look at law as a boring, dry, unimaginative, and uninspired – it’s just these massive volumes of text that in a overly complicated manner attempt to control people’s actions – and on that basis most people will judge and shun away from it without ever having made their own investigations or made the effort the familiarize themselves with the subject – and I would’ve done exactly the same unless it’d been for self-forgiveness and the process of walking myself into the physical and developing common sense.
Because as I approached this new subject – I’d already to some extent understood the concept of ‘resistance’ – and how in experiencing ‘resistance’ towards something it mostly means that there is a point before you where you’re able to learn something and expand yourself. So, initially I experienced resistance towards studying – and primarily towards the academic language that was used in the books as it was completely new to me. Though, with understanding that these experiences are not ‘who I am’ – but that there is more to me than resistance – and that I do have the power to push through and learn – even though I don’t feel like it – or have any positive experience towards it– I managed to get myself beyond the initial tough stages of learning.
Now, the motivation that drove me forward and beyond this resistance was a direct resultant of self-forgiveness – because the purpose of me learning and mastering the material, and getting into the subject – was not about me ‘making it’ or ‘getting through the education’ – but rather there was an understanding within me that in reading these books, and attending the seminars, in taking notes, and looking for ways in which I am able to further my studies – I was expanding MYSELF and I was enhancing my relationship to MYSELF – and I was developing skills and abilities that I could take with me beyond my studies and apply elsewhere in my world – such as: The skill of self-discipline, the skill of structuring and handling information – the skill of focus – the skill of persisting and moving into new information and not accepting and allowing resistance to hamper me.
And this perspective and way of looking at studies opened up with/through self-forgiveness – because what self-forgiveness does is that it clears the smokescreen of feelings and emotions and lays bare the actual and objective reality of this physical world – thus: In my mind studies wasn’t anymore defined as only ‘boring’ – or ‘tedious’ – rather studies was studies – and I could clearly see that in devoting myself to my studies I developed and enhanced certain physical abilities and skills – and it’s important to note that this isn’t isolated to studies only – because slowly but surely – through the applying and utilizing self-forgiveness – many more dimensions and aspects of my world began to open up to me – and I began to see how all of my life in various ways represented opportunities for me to express myself.
Thus – self-forgiveness opens up self-expression – and it opens up the flow of life – and this flow is the inherent curiosity and drive that exists in each and everyone of us to expand – to experience – to develop – and enhance – it’s something that is natural within all and that come through when we assist and support ourselves to let go of the limited way of looking at ourselves our world with/through emotions and feelings as curtains before our eyes – which hampers us from seeing the potential of ourselves and our life.
As such – self-forgiveness is truly a gift that one give to oneself – that when applied in self-honesty opens up the door to life – and the interesting thing is that life has always been here – it’s just that we’ve never allowed ourselves to step in and take part of it – and the benefits and joys of education/studies is but one aspect of life that most of us have yet to experience and explore.