Tag Archives: learning

Day 309: Learning Cooperation

Since childhood I have experienced a resistance towards helping others when they ask, especially if I am at that moment doing something that I enjoy. For example, I might be sitting down writing, or playing guitar, and then someone comes into my room and asks me if I am able to run an errand for them. I will experience resistance in that moment; and usually what happens is that I will tell the person ‘not now!’ – and then continue doing what I am doing.

This way of approaching favors, and services has its roots in my childhood. When I was young I had many experiences where I would sit in my room, back then, primarily playing video games, and my parents would come storming in, often irritated, and demand of me that I do some form of chore in the house – and if I did not do it immediately they would threaten to turn off my computer, and sequester it until I do. These events were traumatic for me, because I would in one moment be sitting with and enjoying myself, then in the next moment everything would change and instead I would be demanded to do something I did not particularly want to do – NOW; and this created an experience within me of feeling invaded.

Now, I am soon thirty years old, and still I experience this feeling of being invaded the moment someone enters into my life and, while I am busy with other stuff, asks me to do something. And another interesting thing is that I will most of the times believe that they want me to do something NOW, while they sometimes do not have a specific time in mind.

I have realized that this pattern and experience of feeling invaded each time someone asks me to do something for him or her must now be directed. It influences me not only at home, but also at my work, where I will feel slightly aggravated and annoyed with each assignment or task that is added to my plate. It is common sense that we all have to do things we do not necessarily like, and that we had not initially planned on doing. Things can come up, and tasks might be proving to be too big for one individual to deal with by himself or herself. There are a myriad of reasons as to why someone would need my help; and it is not an invasion that is happening – it is simply someone asking me to do something for them.

I do not loose myself by for a moment, stopping what I am doing, and then moving myself to do something else, which I might not necessarily want to do, but that I see is important and relevant. I can always get back to what I was doing later on, and if I do have a tight schedule and I am sitting with something that I must get done now, I can communicate this, and then make a plan to help out later on. For communities to effectively work we MUST help each other, I have skills that others does not have, and they have skills I do not have, some are strong, some are intelligent, some are fast, others not, and when we share our skills and time with one another, we create added value for each other. If we only tend to our own interests, projects, and desires, the consequence is that we will limit ourselves. Cooperation is one of those awesome expressions that will add value to everyone involved. Together we can do more than we are able to do alone.

Another aspect of this is that many times what is asked of me, it does not only concern the other person but also me. For example, cleaning the house, this is something that will support me as well. Feeding the cats and making sure that they have sufficient with food and water, this is something that must be done, and it does not matter who does it. Feeling invaded and attacked clouds me from seeing the positive effects that can come out of taking the action asked of me, and how it can influence my world positively as well.

I can conclude that helping each other out is really important, being able to work together is important, and that cannot happen if one of the parties feels invaded every time a favor is asked. However, this does not mean that I should do EVERYTHING asked of me – it is important to make sure that I do have the practical space and time required to deal with my own responsibilities as well. It is not worth it to compromise my own commitments; a solution here would instead be to, as I shared earlier, make a plan and schedule a time for helping later on when this do not compromise my other responsibilities.

Solution

What are then the solutions? I have already touched on them: It would be to stop this experience of feeling invaded the moment it comes up – simply STOP – then to instead listen to what is asked of me, and unconditionally assess whether I am able to, or not, at this time, assist and support. And if I am able to, I have the time, to simply get up and move myself to help, remembering that I will be able to return to what I was doing later on – and that I am adding value to my life and the life of another. If I however do not have the time, then I can schedule one, and also explain to the person why I cannot help them at this moment.

Day 265: Knowing and Not Knowing

i-knowIn conversations with others, these following words are quite common: ‘I know’ and ‘I don’t know’ – and usually they will arise within self as a reaction. With this I mean that the statement will not be an actual, factual, and objective statement that we make in a moment, instead our words will come from within and as an energetic movement in our solar plexus.

Let us begin with the statement ‘I don’t know’ – now for me – this many times comes up almost automatically, immediately. If someone asks me a question that I cannot answer, without for a moment, stopping up, and looking at it within me, then I will say ‘I don’t know’. Though the truth here is not that ‘I don’t know’ – what I am really saying is more: ‘I do not want to/feel like looking more deeply at this point’ – and then I use the get out of jail free card: ‘I don’t know’. Hence, the statement ‘I don’t know’ is actually something that I use as a excuse, to not stop up, and look deeper at a point – to not for a moment introspect and be truly inquisitive and investigate the why/how of something.

A way to correct this relationship with ‘I don’t know’ is to instead, as we want to speak these words, stop for a moment, and really allow the question asked to sink in, and see whether we are in-fact able to find the answer. If we after that process of self-investigation say ‘I don’t know’ – it will be the genuine truth of ourselves. Though if we do not push ourselves to walk that process of self-investigation, then our words ‘I don’t know’ will be as false idol – and not the actual representation of ourselves in a moment.

When it comes to the words ‘I know’ – there is an interesting difference. Often we speak these words when we feel that we already know what is being shared with us. Then even though the other person has only but begun talking, we interfere and exclaim that ‘I know’! Here as well it is a matter of speaking words that are not a real representation of who we are in a moment – because is it true that we know? Well, we might feel like we know, yet how can we possibly see what another will share/speak before they have been given the time to finish what they started?

Hence, the words ‘I know’ is actually a form of resistance, and when I speak these words, it is because I feel distressed and bored with having to hear something that I feel/experience I have already heard and established within myself – not understanding that there might be something new to be learned/realized – that I am now missing out on because I exist within and as this state of resistance/fear.

Thus, to redefine ‘I know’ into something supportive, what we can do is to, as someone is speaking/sharing something that we feel familiar with, give ourselves the time to really listen, and the person the time to really share themselves and their point until they are finished. And then when we have listened to the entire story, we can with clarity establish within ourselves, whether, or whether not we already know this. We might not even feel the need to share with the person that we ‘already know’ – we can simply conclude within that this information is already firmly established within self and thus nothing that I require to hold unto.

What is common ground with these two SOLUTIONS is the fact that they involve taking a moment to stop, to breathe and release the need to haste, and stress to the next moment – to instead be HERE and look more deeply – penetrate what is apparent and reveal that which is under the surface. It is fascinating how such a small moment of change/alteration can have a big impact within ourselves/lives – though really – what is life but these small moments of change/direction – that is what constitutes who we are – and through changing these small building blocks of life – we are actually changing ourselves/our world/this world system.

Day 185: Changing In The Physical

2078766_cesar-millan_xiofoybapldfn74hi3lfpem6lhncurxrbvj6lwuht2ya6mzmafma_610x360I’ve recently been watching a television show called ‘the Dog Whisperer’ that stars Cesar Milan – and it’s about the rehabilitation of dogs and the training of human beings (owners) to enable them to effectively care for their dogs. What is fascinating about this show is that Cesar Milan is very perceptive and works with that which we in Desteni refers to as ‘resonance’ or ‘presence’ – and the basic principle he shares throughout the shows is always the same – you create your relationship with your dog in quantum timemeaning: What you think, feel, or perceive in your relationship with your dog is not the creative force – instead you create the relationship immediately with WHO YOU ARE – you create with your very beingness presence – the HOW – of your approach to a particular situation.

Let me give you an example: In one of the shows Cesar Milan is sent to assist and support a woman that have difficulties with her dog – the problem being that her dog is very fearful and nervous around people. The story is that she saved the dog as a puppy from the streets – and ever since she took him into her care – he’s been nervous, fearful and had difficulties bonding with and trusting other people. When the dog meets someone new – he’ll most cower or try to run away.

When Cesar Milan first enters the situation he asks the owner some questions and looks at the basic physical relationship between the human and the dog – and in this show he could see that the reason the dog was afraid was due to how the owner felt guilt and remorse that her dog experienced fear – as well as due to the fact that her dog had spent the initial parts of it’s life on the streets. What this created on a quantum physical level was an acceptance and nourishing of the dogs current state of being – and instead of supporting the dog to be fearless – the owner supported the dog to continue it’s obsession with fear – simply because the owner accepted and allowed that behavior and supported it through the behavior of validating it as a real and valid cause of living insecurity and fearfulness.

Cesar Milan then showed the woman (owner) how she could re-create the relationship through standing as a point of support for her dog – stable, calm and directive (calm assertive as Cesar puts it) – and in that state of being taking the dog out and assisting it to challenge it’s fears – and this approach turned out to be very effective.

So, what I could see here and also relate to is that we create our world through WHO WE ARE – it’s the presence of ourselves – that presence which we resonate and live that creates our lives – and this is also something that can be applied to process and what we’re walking in relation to the mind. Because an interesting point that I’ve noticed – is that we sometimes expect the mind to change because we ‘say it in our minds’ – for example “stop now!” – when obviously – the mind can’t be directed and moved in that dimension of words spoken in the mind – real change takes place when we literally STAND as the change within ourselves – when we LIVE the change – and STAND as the word which we see must be developed within ourselves for us to move forward and transcend a particular point.

Let’s take the example of fear – in directing an experience of fear it’s not enough to just say ‘stop’ to the fear – because we’ve trained our physical bodies and ourselves on a physical level to respond to and be conditioned within fear – thus what we’re not immediately aware of is that when we go into fear – our shoulders will start slouching, our head will nod downwards slightly, and our muscles will constrict in certain parts of our body – and if we want to change the fear experience within ourselves – what is required is not only that we change what comes up in our mind – but also that we direct and re-align our very physical expression and participation in the moment; that we straighten up – pull our shoulders back – and that we dare to look up – face and walk through the moment as it presents itself here. How we really live and exist is thus not something that we’re able to see only through observing what we think – we must also pay attention to and observe our physical actual participation – the resonance and presence we stand as in the moment – and in order for the change to be genuine – we must ‘believe’ or ‘live’ the change in us and then take it through into real physical expression; Meaning it’s not enough to merely change how we move physically – we must also stand as that word within ourselves (for example self-confidence) and then express it through our physicals – thus re-aligning our presence and our way of dealing with and moving with life utilizing the stable assistance and support of our human physical bodies.

Thus – in stopping a particular construct and aspect of the mind – it’s important that we take into account and look at the three ingredients of self-creation; Thought, Word and Deed – our Thought being our inner process of self-correction where we change how we think about the point – our Word being the direction and movement of ourselves in the moment – the Who We Are – and the Deed – being us living that Who We Are into the physical – standing as the word we see would assist and support us in walking through and transcending a particular pattern.

Cesar Milan effectively shows how through aligning and changing our Deeds – we’re at the same time able to change the Thoughts and the Words we live – when we step into a new way living – and push ourselves to physically live and create ourselves as a word – and within that deliberately re-create our physical presence and participation – we equally support ourselves to transform on a inner level – which shows the principle: As within so without – and equally – so without so within.

 

Day 183: Learning To Love Studies With Self-forgiveness (Part 2)

For context – here is an excerpt from the last blog:

In the next blog – I am going to continue with how self-forgiveness assisted and supported me to learn to enjoy learning, studying and education – and how I within that came to develop a fondness for reading, writing, and the dry subject of law.

Many that are introduced to self-forgiveness have difficulty in understanding why they should forgive themselves? Because from their perspective, they’ve not done anything bad, or wrong in their life, then there shouldn’t be anything to forgive, right?

Though, what must be understood is that self-forgiveness is not about right or wrong, good or bad, correct or incorrect – self-forgiveness is the process of establishing a relationship with yourself – it’s the process of getting to know yourself and seeing the potential that you have within yourself to create a life for yourself and those in your world that is optimal – that is best for all.

Self-forgiveness is a magnificent tool because it has no limitations, with self-forgiveness you’re able to investigate, penetrate and change all aspects of your life – education and studies being but one of these dimensions. Though regardless of what dimension that you decide to take and change with self-forgiveness – the outcome and result is the same; namely that you’re relationship to the particular aspect and dimension of your world change from being one-dimensional and based on a positive/negative feeling/emotion or both – into becoming multi-dimensional – wherein you start to approach a particular aspect of your life in looking at how you’re able to express yourself in/with that point, how you’re able to develop yourself, and how you’re able to enhance yourself through/within that point.

page_casestudiesSo, with regards to studies: As I mentioned in my last blog – studies up until I began university was mostly a struggle – it was tedious – restricted and boring – there were no challenges – and most of all – there didn’t seem to be any life in it; to me it appeared to be about learning things, meaningless things, memorizing things, numbers, events, persons, concepts, and ideas – for no purpose – no meaning – but for survival and in the hopes of one day being able to sustain myself with a job and have enough money to get through the day; and that wasn’t good enough for me. This however came to change when I began the process of forgiving myself and investigating my mind.

When I began my university studies I opted to study for law – now what is fascinating about the subject of law, is that most people that aren’t acquainted with the subject, tend to look at law as a boring, dry, unimaginative, and uninspired – it’s just these massive volumes of text that in a overly complicated manner attempt to control people’s actions – and on that basis most people will judge and shun away from it without ever having made their own investigations or made the effort the familiarize themselves with the subject – and I would’ve done exactly the same unless it’d been for self-forgiveness and the process of walking myself into the physical and developing common sense.

Because as I approached this new subject – I’d already to some extent understood the concept of ‘resistance’ – and how in experiencing ‘resistance’ towards something it mostly means that there is a point before you where you’re able to learn something and expand yourself. So, initially I experienced resistance towards studying – and primarily towards the academic language that was used in the books as it was completely new to me. Though, with understanding that these experiences are not ‘who I am’ – but that there is more to me than resistance – and that I do have the power to push through and learn – even though I don’t feel like it – or have any positive experience towards it– I managed to get myself beyond the initial tough stages of learning.

Now, the motivation that drove me forward and beyond this resistance was a direct resultant of self-forgiveness – because the purpose of me learning and mastering the material, and getting into the subject – was not about me ‘making it’ or ‘getting through the education’ – but rather there was an understanding within me that in reading these books, and attending the seminars, in taking notes, and looking for ways in which I am able to further my studies – I was expanding MYSELF and I was enhancing my relationship to MYSELF – and I was developing skills and abilities that I could take with me beyond my studies and apply elsewhere in my world – such as: The skill of self-discipline, the skill of structuring and handling information – the skill of focus – the skill of persisting and moving into new information and not accepting and allowing resistance to hamper me.

And this perspective and way of looking at studies opened up with/through self-forgiveness – because what self-forgiveness does is that it clears the smokescreen of feelings and emotions and lays bare the actual and objective reality of this physical world – thus: In my mind studies wasn’t anymore defined as only ‘boring’ – or ‘tedious’ – rather studies was studies – and I could clearly see that in devoting myself to my studies I developed and enhanced certain physical abilities and skills – and it’s important to note that this isn’t isolated to studies only – because slowly but surely – through the applying and utilizing self-forgiveness – many more dimensions and aspects of my world began to open up to me – and I began to see how all of my life in various ways represented opportunities for me to express myself.

Thus – self-forgiveness opens up self-expression – and it opens up the flow of life – and this flow is the inherent curiosity and drive that exists in each and everyone of us to expand – to experience – to develop – and enhance – it’s something that is natural within all and that come through when we assist and support ourselves to let go of the limited way of looking at ourselves our world with/through emotions and feelings as curtains before our eyes – which hampers us from seeing the potential of ourselves and our life.

As such – self-forgiveness is truly a gift that one give to oneself – that when applied in self-honesty opens up the door to life – and the interesting thing is that life has always been here – it’s just that we’ve never allowed ourselves to step in and take part of it – and the benefits and joys of education/studies is but one aspect of life that most of us have yet to experience and explore.

Day 182: Learning To Love Studies With Self-forgiveness (Part 1)

Throughout most of my life studying and education were merely obstacles and obnoxious events that cut short the time I’d available for leisure and pastime hobbies. I detested most of the subjects I had to grind my way through, and as I was entering my seventh or eighth year of education, I really began to feel tired and fed up with school.

When I was done with my twelfth school year and in that finished gymnasium, I sighed in relief and assumed that I would now be able to enter freedom and leave this tedious and frigid world of schooling behind me. Obviously, that wasn’t to be the case, of which I am grateful, though the reason that I later came to appreciate education didn’t have to do with education in itself, rather it was a change that I went through that made the difference – but I revisit this later.

So, let’s continue with the story, after I was done with my gymnasium, I proceeded to investigate the world through travelling, and visiting new and exotic places, learning new crafts, talking with people, and fulfilling my lust for adventure. It was in conjunction with this part of my life that I happened upon Desteni, and the message of self-forgiveness – and this would turn out to be crucial ingredient in how I managed to change my relationship to studies – but more of this later.

During these years of adventure, I must honestly say that my life lacked any and all direction, I was just out to get my fix – the experience of freedom – which was really not freedom in-fact, instead it was a polarity reaction towards the previous years of tristesse and boredom that I’d experienced in public education. So, as a form of rebellion against the establishment, I spent some years of my life in drifting and wandering around, pursuing various dreams and fantasies, hoping to hit the jackpot of that ultimate lifestyle; which at that moment in time was becoming a musician, and earning living on what I enjoyed doing.

This though came to change as I discovered and explored the world of self-forgiveness – because with self-forgiveness I was able to let go of my inflated dreams, and start considering reality – what could I do with my life that would actually work? Where and how could I realistically place myself in this world? Obviously, I could now see that the music business was a disaster, and that even those musicians that had made a name for themselves had great difficulties with surviving. Self-forgiveness thus cured me of my illusions and served to ground me back in this world, and this physical existence – and in this newfound stability I saw and realized that I had to give myself some direction, I’d to make a decision where I should go, and in what position I should place myself.

Though it was still difficult for me to clearly see what I could do with myself and at some point a friend of mine suggested that I should study Law – so this is what I decided to do. Now, as I shared in the beginning, school was not exactly a point of pleasure for me – and my first years of Law studies also to some extent came to be colored with my remembrances of dislike towards schooling and learning. But already at this early stage, there was a definitive shift in me – and this became clearer as I progressed in my studies – what was coming through in my studies, and in me learning the subjects, and their vocabularies was a joy, pleasure and pride – studying was becoming fun!

Though, let’s slow down for a moment and look at what really happened here, what was it that changed in me, that made studying go from boredom, and tristesse, to fun and enjoyment? The key to this change is to be found in self-forgiveness – and I will not go deeper into the mechanics of self-forgiveness in this blog – rather I will share the effects of self-forgiveness. Now, self-forgiveness is an amazing tool as it opens up the door to SELF – yes – it makes it possible for me, and anyone else, to get to know themselves – and here is the most fascinating part of self-forgiveness – in applying and using self-forgiveness – you will begin developing a direct and clear relationship to YOURSELF.

But, what does this mean? Developing a relationship to yourself?

To give you an example, math was according to the younger me a particularly distasteful subject, so full of numbers, rules, and regulations, strict, empty, and pointless – and the main thing circulating my mind as I had to sit with these books was: “Why should I even learn this?” – and this very question reveals the problem – there was no clear reason, no clear why, no clear direction – instead I would just go with what I did or didn’t feel, and with what my parents or teachers told me – math was just something I did because it should be done – there was no ME – no SELF present at all.

But now, what was it that began happening after I’d been working with self-forgiveness for a while? I will give you an example: Last summer I took a course in national economics, and to my initial dread, it happened to contain massive amounts of quite complicated math – and at the outset I had no idea what to do, or how to learn all of it – the material seemed to be overwhelming, and within me I still carried the idea that “math is boring” – though it all took a very interesting turn: As I progressed with the course, I started to notice that math was not just about math – the subject math was actually a method, and tool, that challenged me to develop certain skills on a beingness and self level – it challenged me to live and apply certain words. Because to do math effectively, I realized that I had to be precise, focused, specific and detailed – I could not miss a single digit, or miss a single rule – if I did, the end result would turn out wrong and the equation would fail. Within this I found my why, my motivation, and my reason to push myself to learn and walk the course to its end – my motivation became to excel and better myself – to develop myself; and math, instead of being a necessary evil for me to complete my university degree, became a pleasure in its own right – where I could put myself to the test and strengthen my ability to live with precision and detail.

Thus, something amazing happened, I actually developed a relationship to the subject that was direct, where my interaction with the subject was not anymore about an experience, or a goal separate from me, instead my movement with the subject was based upon myself – it was based upon me seeing how in walking the course effectively and specifically, I could actually gift myself with new expressions and abilities, and enhance myself in a way that would last for the reminder of my life – AND the reason that I could do this was because of self-forgiveness; because self-forgiveness enhance and strengthen that self-relationship – and in using it over a long period time – you will through self-forgiveness cement a strong foundational relationship with yourself that will spread out into and influence all other areas of your life– making your interaction and participation with life, responsibilities, commitments, work, friends, colleagues, children and family an expression instead of a chore – where your PRESENCE and AWARENESS come through and start seeing how to build, developed, enhance, and affect through yourself in the movement of your everyday life.

In the next blog – I am going to continue with how self-forgiveness assisted and supported me to learn to enjoy learning, studying and education – and how I within that came to develop a fondness for reading, writing, and the dry subject of law.

Day 159: Up For Review

Today I am going work with a reaction I had in relation to the following situation: I had turned in an assignment for review with my boss and was hopeful as well as anxious about the results – when I got it back I became disappointed because there were some mistakes that I felt was unnecessary – and I also felt that I’d failed my boss and that I should’ve done better – along with this also came up some fears in relation to employment and becoming seen as less valuable on the job market and therefore not being able to sustain myself with money in this world.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I turn something in to my boss, or turn an assignment in at my school, or interact in some way with the system wherein I do something that will at a later stage be evaluated and given a mark, to in that hope, and desire that my product will be accepted by the person receiving it, and that I will receive praise, and approval

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others about getting the most approval for something that I’ve turned in, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self-value, and self-worth in relation to whether or whether not I am approved, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad, and feel disappointed, and miserable when and as I don’t receive the approval that I hoped that I would

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define whether I am satisfied with my application in regards to a point, or not, on the basis of whether I am approved or not approved, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent upon another saying to me that what I am doing is good, for me to trust myself to walk that point, and apply myself, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for approval and positive stimuli before I move myself and act – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait with trusting myself and relying upon myself before someone says to me that I am approved and that what I’ve done is good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire that my efforts at my work and in my school are to be recognized and that I am to be deemed a resource and not a liability – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define for myself whether I am satisfied with me and my efforts on the basis of whether I receive approval for what I’ve done or not – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my efforts and my work, and studies to be about getting approval, instead of me producing a point that I am satisfied with and that I know is an expression of myself – that I’ve put the necessary attention and detail into for it to be a cool product

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to will myself to make a product perfect in fear that I won’t be approved, instead of pushing myself to make a product perfect because it’s something that I want to do for myself, that I want to make sure because I enjoy to push points in my world to perfection and not accept and allow myself to produce points that are less than what I am a capable of – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not will myself, and push myself to at my work, and with my studies, participate from a starting point of – I am doing this for and as me – as an expression of me – and not to receive approval or praise from another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt, and worthless when and as I receive feedback on a product that I produced and it’s revealed that I’ve made some mistakes, and that the product isn’t as effective as was expected, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my stability, and groundedness in relation to work, upon whether I am approved or not, and whether the work I do receives praise or not, instead of founding my stability and groundedness within and as each and every breath I take here – wherein I am not influenced or affected by whether another likes, or dislikes what I’ve produced – I simply take it as feedback and push myself to be more specific and detailed in my work – as an expression of myself – wherein I won’t accept and allow anything that is less than my full potential

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into a state of stress and hastiness at work, or in relation to my school work, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to breathe and practice moving myself naturally with and as my human physical body in the pace of the physical – and focus on producing the most effective work that I am capable of – not because I want to be recognized – but because it’s an expression of an as myself – and the work that I produce is thus myself

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to the feedback I receive from others in relation to my work, and my school work, and instead push myself to become the best I can be in relation to the work I produce as an expression of myself – wherein I do it as a commitment that I make to myself to be the best that I can be in this life and live to my fullest potential

Day 85: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Lately I’ve been having some very specific reactions of anger in relation to certain peoples in my world. Thus, here in this blog I am going to investigate this reaction, to see how it is that I’ve created this reaction within me, and to also let it go through applying self-forgiveness, and committing myself to not anymore re-create this particular point.

Let’s get into it: the context of this reaction is that a particular person in my world, and here understand that it’s irrelevant who this person is, because it’s not about that other person, the reaction is a outflow consequence of my relationship with myself – thus the focus is me and not the other person – let’s continue: this particular person in my world acts in a way that I perceive as being disrespectful, inconsiderate, and laconic – I perceive that this person is getting a free ride on work that I am doing, when he/she is well enough capable of putting down his weight behind the carriage as well.

The primary point of the reaction is that I feel I am doing more, I am giving it my all, I am pushing the point, but this other person doesn’t.

Then comes the question, why does this make me angry, and frustrated? Is it possibly as such that I am doing exactly the same as what I perceive this person to be doing? Is it possibly as such that I am doing the least possible amount of work in certain areas of my life, just the same as what I perceive this other person to be doing?

In relation to my writings I’d like to, before I continue, interject a small notification here in relation to how I am writing out this point, observe how I am utilizing the word “perceive” when I describe what I feel in relation to this other person. This is a very specific choice of words, because within this I am in-fact making the statement that I actually don’t know what the other person is doing, and that it’s really not relevant, because what is relevant is my relationship with myself, and the reaction that is coming up within me, thus I use the word “perceive” the assist and support myself to bring back the point to myself, and make sure there is no room for blame that can rob me of my moment of transcendence.

Thus, continuing – now the cool part about life, living, and how I experience myself within that, is that EVERYTHING is a mirror reflection of myself; thus when I experience any form of reaction towards any point in this world, this ALWAYS says something about my relationship with myself. In regards to anger, the specific point that such a reaction usually tends to mirror, is that I am doing something that I don’t want to admit that I am doing, and then I am pushing this unto another so that I won’t have to deal with it.

The pertinent question is thus, am I laconic somewhere in my world? Do I give the least amount of effort somewhere in my world? Do I enjoy a free ride on others somewhere in my world? Here I am able to see that, yes, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to do this in regards to certain work-responsibilities, wherein I’ve known that I require to give more effort, time, and participate more with my work to get the results I want, but I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to do so, because I’ve rather valued entertainment, and my hobbies as being more important.

The solution is thus to correct this particular point within me, to learn to prioritize, and to make room for my hobbies, and some entertainment each day, yet not accept and allow this point to be walked at the expense of my commitments, and my responsibilities, that obviously must come first, because they are important, have a real factual impact not only in my life, but in the life’s of others, and thus it’s important that I walk such points to the fullest of my abilities, and not accept and allow myself to compromise such points, because I am not prioritizing my time effectively.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply the simple point of walking my commitments and responsibilities first, and then when I am done with these, accepting and allowing myself to enjoy entertainment, and my hobbies, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest, and self-disciplined in terms of prioritizing my time, wherein I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compromise my responsibilities, and my commitments in order to get to walk my interests, and my hobbies, and to feel, and become entertained, and within that missing the important point, that my responsibilities, and commitments obviously come before me feeling entertained, and me being able to dive into my hobbies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest in prioritizing my time during my day according to my commitments, and responsibilities, to as such make sure that I am not creating any form of consequence in my world, through not pushing myself to remain self-honest, and walk with, and work with that which is in-fact important; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that the slight guilt, and discomfort that I’ve experienced, as I’ve allowed myself to immerse myself into and as my hobbies, and interest, that this experience is specific, and is in-fact a signal to myself that I am not effectively prioritizing my time, but instead giving into my desires, and wants, instead of looking what is required to be done and acting accordingly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am really very aware within myself of when I am compromising my responsibilities, and commitments, but that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to recognize, and understand the fact that I am aware, and that this awareness of what I am doing takes form in a experience of discomfort, and guilt; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to stand, and walk in and as self-honesty in regards to my commitments, and my responsibilities in life, and as such make sure that I am first tending to points that must be walked, that must be finished, to must be taken into and as a practical solution, and then when I am doing with such points, I walk what I desire, what I want, such as my hobbies and interests; and within this I see, realize, and understand that this is the only way to walk my life that will not produce aversive consequences for myself, or anyone else in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can’t run away from myself, and that there is in-fact such a thing as integrity, and that I know when I do not stand equal to integrity within myself, and I know when I do not act, and I do not live, and I do not make decisions in consideration of what is best for all, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here – and push myself to align myself with and as integrity in every moment of breath, wherein a part of this would be that I prioritize my time according to what must be done, and is required to be done, and not according to what I feel like doing, what I desire to do, and what I experience would be the most fulfilling to do – but that I instead look at my world, and my reality practically, and accordingly make a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that there is no such thing as being able to go against what I know is best for all without consequence, I mean the consequence is always accumulating and the proof of this is that I become angry and frustrated when and as I do not act, and walk within and as what I know is best for all, and what I know is support, and assisting, for not only myself, but my world as a whole; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself within and as the principle of life, as giving as I’d like to receive, and walking this through amongst other things, prioritizing my time – and making sure that I first get to walk my commitments, and my responsibilities, and when I am done with these, that I then accept and allow myself to get into that which I find enjoyable as my hobbies, and interests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that all it takes for me to change this point, is that I change my perspective on living, and that I instead of just looking at my feelings as I make decisions, look at the practical outflows of the decisions; and within this it’s obvious common sense that the practical outflow of not accepting and allowing myself to stick with, and walk with my commitments, and my responsibilities, is that I am going to compromise my commitments, and responsibilities, and that I won’t be able to get the results that I want to have, and that I see is best for me, as well as best for my world as a whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contaminate my decision making skills, and abilities, through accepting and allowing myself to look at decisions, to look at my commitments, and my responsibilities, and the time I’ve through-out my day, through and as energy, as experience, instead of looking at what is practical, what is required to be done, what must be done, and how I am able to walk this particular point in a way that will be assisting, and supporting for all, and that will bring through this point of growth in my world, not only for me, but for all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the simplicity of changing this point, and that it’s all about making a decision, that I will simply not do that which I desire, want, and like to do first, but that I will do that which is required to be done, which is needed to be done, which is a practical responsibility that can’t be pushed away, first – and then when I am doing with that – I will accept and allow myself to give myself some time to do what I enjoy as my interests and hobbies; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice structuring my time, structuring my day, and making sure that I walk my day physically, practically, here, and not through experience

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into a desire, of wanting to do what I enjoy, like, and find pleasure in doing, even though I have responsibilities, and commitments are still required to be walked, and sorted out; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am compromising myself, and my relationship with myself, when I don’t stick to walking, and push my commitments, and responsibilities, as the points that must be walked, before I allow myself to take time to immerse myself into interests, and hobbies; as such I commit myself to make the simple decision to not follow this desire, and this energy – but instead first do what I require to do, what must be done – as my commitments, and my responsibilities, and when I am doing with that – to then do that which I like to do, and that which I have as a hobby; thus first – responsibility – then play and games

When and as I see that I am becoming angry, and frustrated at others for feeling that they are not taking care, and handling their responsibilities effectively, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is me reflecting me back to myself, and that I am really seeing myself, and that thus I require to look into my world, and see how it is that I am doing the same, compromising my responsibilities, and commitments, in favor of experience; as such I commit myself to bring myself back here – and to change myself, and walk my responsibilities, and commitments first – to get these done – and then walk what I’d like to do

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