Tag Archives: life

Day 436: Learning From Death

This week one of my close relatives died. It was expected since long so there was no immediate shock involved. However the event still brought up emotions within me, however more importantly, it instigated realizations. What became obvious to me is how much value and importance we give to moments/experiences in life that are of no consequence in the long term and how many of us live our life only partially – myself included. When we are able to survive and find basic pleasure in life – we tend to become complacent and give up on fulfilling our dreams. And here we are not even getting started on creating something of importance/value on a ‘best-for-all’-level – that is something very few people manage to do – because oftentimes there are no energies/experiences connected to such decisions. It is all about physical movement.

When I saw my relative I thought about how many people that die that have only lived their life partially. And how many that are pushed into situations of survival and that lose their spark of life. It is tough to be in this world and remain connected to yourself and your source. Everything is set up to take you on mental journeys away from your source – the earth – the physical and your physical body. And thus – instead of our life being an opportunity for us to express our own unique beingness and to explore the physical – we become subdued into comfort or fear of survival – and then all of our time and energy goes into aspects of our life that are of no importance or consequence.

Thus – for myself – I saw that I wanted to make a couple of changes. One of my current issues that I have a lot to do – all the time – which makes it difficult for me to invest time in some of my favorite activities that also strengthen me the most – which is writing, opening new relationships with people, and spending time with my hobbies. However – I do see this lack of time has a lot to do with how I approach my life and how I expect things to be. For example – to take part in one of my hobbies, carpentry, I imagine that I must have about an hour of uninterrupted time. That is seldom possible. And thus I do not use the small moments to do open up to invest myself in this hobby – because I think that it is not enough time. However – I can see that this is in-fact an excuse. And that it is possible to participate for small amounts of time – and still be able to get something out of the activity. It is not about for how long I do something – it is about WHO I am within what I do. And if I am focused, present and here in my participation – I can get as much out of fifteen minutes, as I would get out of several hours of inattentive participation. My insight is thus that if I have some time available, even though it is not much, it is definitely worth it, to start up and activate myself – and do those things that I really enjoy and that help me grow. Tomorrow never comes – and that is why it is better to do a little today – than doing everything tomorrow.

Waiting always sucks and that gets very clear when death approaches – suddenly there are no more excuses. Death is the final – if you have not done what you wanted at that point – you will never do it. Possibly that is why we fear death so much – we know that it is a point of no return – and that we have limited time to express – and silently we carry the knowing that we are not living our full potential. Because death shows us that we cannot wait for ever – if we want the prize – we have to go for it – and that means stepping out of our comfort zone. Hence – death is also supportive – it stops us from keeping on living a life in auto-mode going nowhere. What is the point with living like that? Where is it going to get us? Nowhere but back to the same place where we started.

If we had a different money system in place that removed fear of survival I foresee that many more would die in peace – knowing that they had really lived. Fear of survival, fear of not having money, holds so many of us back. There are a myriad of dreams/visions/potentials/talents that are never realized because of fear of survival. Parents tell their children to take the safe route. If your child happens to enjoy arts – then you are in bad luck – because that will not bring them any money at all – better break their hopes down as soon as possible! And that is what parents do – they teach children to be afraid, to follow their fear, and to follow their survival instincts – and after a while children forget what it means to follow their life instincts.

I want a world where children are supported to follow their desire to live and express – in that world I do not think anyone would be afraid of death. Because why fear leaving earth if you have lived fully? You are done – and ready to go. I wish everyone had that opportunity. Part of the solution is an equal money system – or a basic income guarantee – something that removes the pressures of survival so we can instead invest our time and energy into living.


Day 416: Children of the Future

This week I have begun my mornings by stating:

“I am mother earth, I am father sky, and I am the children that will become the future of this world”

Stating this each morning has helped me to be more stable in the face of the current situation in the world – because it is easy to lose hope – it is easy to lose interest, faith, creative juice, desire and want to change and to make a imprint on this existence. It is easy to think that I am only one person, and what can one person do? Because it feels like the world is so, so big, controlled by such powerful interests, and that I am so, so small, insignificant, and unworthy.

However – what I have realized is that I am the future – in each breath, with each word, with each action, I am involved in this world, and I am involved in creating the future. It might feel as if it something that is beyond my grasp, though it is not, it is right here. And each morning when I wake up, I can either approach my day within this stance, that I am here to create a better tomorrow, or I can approach with a sullen indignation and hopelessness, thinking that there is nothing to be done. For me the choice is easy, I want the former approach. I want to make this life count, and I want to make myself count, one voice, one vote, for a better me, a better future, a better reality for everyone.

It is important to not become engulfed in the state of the world as it exist at the moment. What is here is not the end, it is the beginning. What is here has been created over centuries, and it will take a long time to change – however as with all journeys – it begins with a single step. And if there is a clear decision, a steadfastness and consistency, then time does not matter – the point has already been created and what is left is to walk it into manifestation. It is similar to making a movie – when the script is done it is only a matter of shooting it.

To be the children that brings the future – one point that must be practiced is being open, receptive and interested in solutions. I see many that loose themselves in a state of complaining, diminishing, finding fault in others and themselves and criticism. And many times they can clearly see and outline the problems – however – they do not script a solution – the remain at the stage of seeing – and that is not enough. What matters is what we do when we see. An effective response would be to investigate what we are able to do to change and bring through what is best – and then act on that. Children do not hold preconceived notions. When they see a problem, they find a solution to it – and they are open to the fact that every problem have a solution – there is nothing that cannot be solved and directed. And whereas we as adults might give up before we have even tried, because we push ourselves down harshly within our own minds, children go for it. And that is something I want to emulate. To approach the world fearlessly and without beliefs as to what is possible and what is not. Change within and change on a global level is not a dream – it is a possibility – and to get there we must begin walking.

However it is true that change will not come through by waiting for external forces to move – and why should we wait? The future is created in the small and seemingly insignificant actions that make up a usual day. We might not see it, but each day holds potential for movement, exploration, creation and expansion. The challenge is to see and even create those moments and to act. Too many adults become dull and boring – they loose touch with their wit, strength, power, playfulness and drive. For them life becomes a series of uneventful days all about survival and making it through to the next day. Their eyes become hazy and unfocused, and their voices become monotone and slack. Children are not like that. They are bustling, feverish, intense and driven, they explore and are curious about the world around them, and they make sure that not a moment is lost. They are hungry for the life that is here to be experienced and lived.

Thus, we adults, we must embrace and live the fact that we are the children that will bring through the future in this world. And each day adds a brick, in the brick wall, that is the world we share together. And either, we can approach as adults, believing that there is no chance in hell that can we do anything, or we can approach it as children, with the understanding, that what we do will ripple out into the world and have an effect. We are not alone in this world, we are all dependent on each other, and what we do, will have an impact. And even if we are not yet able to see it, and perhaps, will not be able to see it in our lifetime, the ripples are there, undeniably. As children, we must be unconditional, and create our ripples, and not accept and allow our motivation to become bound to external events – we must move from within that deep, bountiful, limitless playfulness that is the hallmark of children everywhere. That is where we will find the patience, steadfastness, drive and motivation to last for a lifetime.


Day 396: Satisfaction and Success

As of late I have listened to a podcast with some highly successful Swedish entrepreneurs. It is both inspiring and fascinating to hear them speak – because just as much as they share relevant principles and understandings – they also share fear-based misconceptions of reality. Whenever I  find new information – the principle that I stand by is to take the information that makes sense to me – regardless of the source. I care about the content – not the persona. Hence there is a bit of sifting required.

I realized and was also reminded of a couple of points by listening to the interviews. One point I was reminded of is that there is no objective definition of success. For some people – success is to have a lot of money. For other people – success is to be able to live on the vegetables you have grown yourself. Success is not meant to be one thing – because we are all different. However – one important aspect that we tend to forget implementing into our definitions of SUCCESS is that of GIVING to others. Success is mainly seen through our own individual experiences – however – what kind of success is it when it only impacts ourselves? Real success is when that forward motion can be shared and help empower others as well. And that can be done regardless of our base definition of success. If our definition of success is to make money – then how about showing others how to make money – and make sure that all involved in your success gets a sufficient piece of the cake – SHARE the success with the world. And if our definition is to grow veggies – then how about SHARING the veggies, and showing others how veggies are grown and the pleasure and joy that can be found in such a simple act.

Thus – what has become clearer to me is that success in its limited individual definition is empty. And perhaps that is why many of those that have reached a significant monetary success never feel satisfied – they always strive for more. It is as if there is a deep hole that cannot be filled – and so to avoid seeing and experiencing that hole – they have to constantly move forwards – constant and continuous motion. The hole can then be filled – albeit momentarily – with adrenaline and other chemically induced experiences – such as dopamine. There is a constant and never ending chase for more. The reason for this – as I understand it currently – is because there is a lack of a higher purpose. Especially in the western world we live in tightly structured highly individual bubbles. We have ourselves and maybe a few other people that are really close to us. And our lives circle around gratifying the needs of those few people – and our compassion, our love, aspirations and meaning also many times exist in that isolated zone. And it makes sense that when we do not have any value or meaning to the world – and when the world does not have any value or meaning to us – that we are going to feel empty – because hey – we are actually leaving out the ENTIRE world from our lives.

In comparison – take a look at nature, or the lesser developed countries of Africa, or the clan societies of the middle east. What we can see there is that the individual acts in awareness of his context – and he is connected to that context. A bird for example lives in a balance, harmony and equality with its surroundings. It is specialized to its surroundings and perfectly created to relate, to take, and to give, in that particular environment. It exists in a greater context. And the same is true with lesser developed societies – where the family is still very important. Here the individual exists in the context of his family – and that is what is important. Your life is only as valuable as the value you are able to share with your family – and in turn you receive the same gifts. There is a balance, a equality, a receiving and a sharing – and that gives meaning, context, and equality.

Unfortunately, that type of relationships are mostly gone in the western world. What has replaced our close bonds, or dependency on the family and each other, is the state, the big governmental agencies – the impersonal , cold, bureaucratic  and distant treatment – or the monetary institutions – the corporations. And this kind of structure makes it possible for us westerners to create isolated lives where the our individual needs/wants/desires takes the front seat. We have the ability to cut off all relationships and still be able to survive and flourish. Both young and elderly are put into institutions so that our focus and intention can be placed on supporting the system – that in turn – supports us to retain our individual lifestyle. Because without the system – our immediate relationships would take on a completely different meaning. Here retaining the family and our close intimate relationships would become a matter of life and death – and hence our purpose, focus and intention would be to support the family unit – and not that of striving for our own individual success.

Giving oneself a purpose that is based on one’s context and especially as to how one is able to give and share with one’s society/world is however possible even though we in the western world for a long time has been phasing away the notion of contextual/relation-based living. And my experience is that giving oneself a purpose/direction that is based on an assessment as to what is best/needed in relation ALL is far more satisfying than living a isolated individual lifestyle. Actually – I will say that it is only from such a way of approaching life that we are able to experience lasting satisfaction and enjoyment. And this is what modern entrepreneurs and others trying to achieve success tend to forget. We put all our focus on OUR success – without making sure that our success is defined in the context of the world – in the context of what is BEST for everyone.


 

Day 372: Bringing Life Here

When things get too much, then focus on the small. One thing at a time. That is how movement is accumulated – we do one thing – then we do the next thing. Sometimes it is not possible to have overview, it is not possible to be in control over a series of events – however – we are always in control in THIS moment. In this movement we can decide who we are – and we can decide to move ourselves into the direction that we want to go.

I cannot walk my life effectively trying holding a image/projection in-front of my eyes, believing that I need to manifest that projection into reality – moving with that picture as a target my decisions become inflexible. I miss what is HERE in-front of me and start to move with a erratic frenzy. Life is HERE and hence it must be DIRECTED here – it cannot be lived as a picture – because that is not the nature of LIFE.

Goals can be defined and plans can be scripted – though it will only remain a plan and a goal – not LIFE. It is important to not confuse a goal and a plan with life. The former is used to find direction – the latter is what it is all about and cannot be defined within the limited confines of a goal and a plan. Hence it is important to never have the plan and the goal supersede what is happening in this moment – because it can all change – in one breath.

Real stability, clarity and overview is in the moment – it is HERE – it cannot be placed on a paper – it cannot be constructed – it must be LIVED – one moment – HERE – I see. And this is cool – because whenever stability, clarity and overview is missing – it does not mean that we have to arduously walk a long process until these points can be brought here – rather we can bring stability, clarity and overview – HERE – by making a decision to do so. And sometimes it might not be possible – and we need the tools of support such as writing and self-forgiveness – other times it is possible.

Because my life is so busy, with things, responsibilities, points to handle and direct constantly, I do not have the time to bring stability and clarity here through writing – I have to live it in the moment. Why wait for these things to come to me when I can decide to live that now?

 


Day 371: Making The Ordinary, Extraordinary

This week I have been working with giving/creating purpose in my life – asking myself WHY? I learned this application in the following Eqafe interview:

In the interviews, the question is asked, what does it mean when we are depressed, demotivated and apathetic? It means that we are not giving purpose to ourselves and our lives – we are not making it MORE – but instead accepting and allowing it to just be handed to us – lived in a flow – and comfortably we swim with the stream. However – in swimming with the stream – we miss that point of making something MORE out of ourselves – and this is where the question, WHY, comes in.

An example from my own life is in the work I do. The WHY of my work is firstly, to earn money to support my family and I, secondly to support the people I encounter, and give them the best possible service and advice, so that they can create their lives to be the best that it can be, and thirdly, to learn more about this world, the system, and life in general – that is why I go to work. When I keep that in mind – the WHY – I become different – I act with more confidence, stride and direction.

Asking WHY is helpful especially with things that have become a routine, mundane and that we take for granted. Why are we in the relationship that we are in? Why do we have the hobbies that we have? Why do we eat a certain thing in the morning? Through questioning ourselves and our life we are able redefine and rediscover our purpose within it all – and it is by living with a purpose that we are able to establish substance, wealth, and greatness within ourselves and our life

However it does take discipline to question self and that which we have taken for granted. It is easy to fall into old tracks, and just go along with what is working – that is not the road the excellence. In order to attain excellence, depth is needed, it must be personal, it must be intimate and real – not just something that is done on a surface level. And that is unfortunately that is the case when I approach a part of my life without a clear purpose/direction/understanding within, my participation becomes surfaced.

Hence, is it is important to establish WHY – and not only walk through the motions of everyday life without any life movement/direction/creation. There is nothing wrong or bad about routines, though, when they become a purpose on their own, that is problematic – because that means we are not anymore directive.

What I do is that I make sure to make of all my routines/moments in my life. expansive and life-giving – I find the little seed of life and I nurture it. Regardless of what I am doing, there is always space for movement. Hence, when I drive, I use the time to introspect and apply self-forgiveness. When I take a shower, I push myself to be present in my body, explore breath, the physical sensations and enjoy the moment. Nearly moments, and everything we do on a daily basis, it can all be redesigned to have a supportive meaning that assists and supports us to grow. That however requires from ourselves that we are on our toes, present, here, and that we actively push to make something extraordinary out of the ordinary and trite.


Day 366: What is success to me?

What is success to me?

It is an important question, because unless I know and I am clear on what is success for me personally, then how will I be able to achieve it? It is not possible. I will instead chase mirages, success as defined and seen by others, and not live according to my self-honesty.

The question has arisen within me due to reactions that have come up within when I am confronted with friends, acquaintances, that I feel have begun to climb the ladder of success, and that has achieved positions of high stature. It could also be that they have achieved fame or notoriety in some other way. The reaction is still the same, it is that of jealousy and fear. Jealousy that I have not achieved their position, and fear that I might have wasted/missed my opportunities to place myself in such a successful point.

Thus, the fascinating thing is that my desire is not directed towards achieving their position from a point of wanting to have their experience, as could be the case if someone has a job that I would like and find interesting. My desire more has to do with gaining the position in order to impress upon and show others that I have been able to achieve such a position/standing of success. That is what it is all about, wanting the positive attention that I perceive someone is receiving in the particular position.

In analyzing this desire/jealousy and bringing it back to myself, I can conclude that I would not have experienced jealousy/desire if I would have felt that I am receiving a sufficient amount of attention/validation/confirmation in my current position. That begs the question, why is it that I feel I need my success/live/movement in this world to be validated by others? That is in-fact a serious limitation, as I will continuously only pursue that which I suspect I will be able to get my validation and attention. And when those things have subsided, I will drop my venture, and yet again go searching for a way to achieve the attention/validation/respect I feel that I deserve. I have played this loop out a couple of times.

The solution is to define my own success and to practice validating myself – to stop myself from comparing my life – what I do – my skills – my future – to that of others – as it will only ever cause me to go astray and miss what is important to me – what is my success. And there will obviously still be the temptation to continue in old tracks. Though it is clear that when I am constantly looking out there at what everyone else is doing, then how will I ever be able to focus at what I am doing? How will I be able to focus at where I want to go, what I want to do? It is not possible – hence the importance of letting others do what they are doing, and developing within me the skill of validating and recognizing myself.

What is success to me?

To me success is to care for myself and others. It is to choose a direction in life based on where I am able to best support myself and others to be the best they can be. Success to me is also to challenge the status quo and to contribute to a change in how the system operates. Further, it is a success for me to dedicate myself to my process of self-creation – to stick to this process, to continue to develop myself, to expand, to move and to walk it until it is done.

When I live these words in my life – that is success to me.

 


Day 363: Putting Some Color In Daily Living

Life is a lot about routines. It is a lot about doing the same thing over and over again with very little variance – unless – it is done differently. And this is what I want to pursue the coming week – create variance/exploration in the small and mundane – in that which recurs day after day, week after week.

What I have realized is that it is not possible to escape routine – it is a cemented part of daily living. We have to eat, we have to shit, we have to sleep. And then you have to survive, and there are many routine actions connected to survival; working, cooking, cleaning and so on. Then there are a few breaks from the routine. There are moments that can be spent on a hobby, on traveling and exploring, on moving out from the routine – though – seen as a whole – those moments are few and far in-between.

The main stream opinion is that routines are bad, limiting, confining, and that we need to escape them from time to time. Because the general view on routines are negative, a lot of people live out their lives in a fight against the routine that floods their lives. We sit by our desks at work the entire week longing to go somewhere else, and then when Friday arrives, we finally feel FREE – and we go out and party to break the monotonous daily struggle. Alcohol and other drugs are used to feel free, excited, special – something MORE than what we normally experience throughout the week.

In this blog however, I am going to advocate a different solution to routine. Firstly, I want to stress that routines are not bad. It is not the routine in itself that makes a moment uneventful and unexciting. Routines are merely, a part of life, and actually, they offer opportunities for us to practice and create INTEREST – real INTEREST – in the sense that we literally have to decide to be interested and present in what we are doing.

Secondly, it might be that it is exciting to do something different and live without routines, though routines do have a quality in that they bring stability and clarity. With a good routine, we can put our attention unto more important things. An example would be, that if we have a good routine when it comes to waking up and preparing for work, then we can instead put our attention/effort into being aware of the environment ad being more physical and grounded. Routines thus, are effective in establishing a solid structure, that can be used as a support to start developing internal living skills, such as presence. Having routines also makes life predictable. And while that might not be good every time, it is supportive when it comes to relationships and communication. Because with a good routine established, everyone involved knows what to do and what to expect – there are no surprises.

Thus, routines are cool – however – there is a problem if we accept and allow ourselves to become mentally and physically limited by our routines . When we do not allow ourselves to test something new, or when we are faced with something new, but we stick to our routine anyway, that causes problems, instead of being flexible and tackling the new issue with a new solution. Routines must not become a comfort zone and that can easily happen when we begin to trust our routines more than we trust ourselves. In such instances it can be scary to push beyond a routine and try something different – here its important to remember that it was us that created the routine and as such we are also able to create something new in its place.

For me lately I have faced the point of judging routines, and feeling limited, confined and held back by them. Obviously, this has to do with the point that I have recently become a father. My baby is very much bound and supported by having routines – which is why I have adapted and begun to create more of them. It is challenging in the sense that life without routines feels exciting, fresh and rejuvenated. Life with routines on the other hand can easily feel stuck, uninspiring and trite. What I have realized is that we do not have to experience routines like this. We are able to use the supportive stability and structure that routines offers while at the same time being inspired, refreshed and new. It is all a matter of changing our approach – our STARTING POINT to life – to routines as a matter of fact.

An example would be the following: I wake up on a Monday morning. My routine is to get out of bed, make breakfast, shower, dress and get to work. It is basically the same every day. However, each of these moments in my morning, even though I have lived them countless of times before, offers and opportunity for me to create something new. Let me take the first moment in my morning, get out of bed. That can be done in many ways. What I have done as of recent is to remain in my bed for a while after I have and give myself a moment to feel my body. To breathe, relax my muscles, and prepare myself for the day to come. To check in with myself and decide upon what words/expressions that I am going to push/pursue in the coming day.

Then with preparing and eating my breakfast. Here, what I have done is that I have covered myself with a blanket and eaten the breakfast in the sofa and pushed myself to relax and enjoy my breakfast. A moment of silence, breathing and preparing myself to go out into the world. At work, I have pushed myself to start taking walks each day after lunch – as a way to stretch my legs and support my general well being. And this is something I have had to will myself to do – because my tendency have been to feel that I do not have enough time to go for a walk. It is interesting how the mind works in this regard. The only thing that is seen as adding to productivity is that which is seen to have a direct connection with manifestation of a project/task. However, all of the soft values, such as feeling rested, replenished and rejuvenated, stretched and content in my body, those are not seen as important. That is obviously a mistake. For me, I can clearly see the difference in how I am a lot more efficient when I am rested and refreshed, compared to when I am stressed and strained.

Routines thus, they are meant to be redirected and walked within awareness. Supportive habits could be one of the most empowering things that I have experienced. Things that I do on a daily basis that supports the well being of me and others. Hence, I will not judge routines anymore, but rather learn to live with them and make the most of them.