Tag Archives: life

Day 449: Taking My Surroundings For Granted

I talked with a neighbor not so long ago. He shared some of his history to the place where we are living. He said that he felt so privileged to be able to wake up each day and interact with this environment. As I listened to him I could see what he was saying and also that I have been taking my house, my environment, the basics of each day, for granted in may ways. Thus, my neighbor inspired me to look into this tendency of mine, to take things for granted.

I have realized that my tendency is to take the basic things in life for granted. Such as the environment where I live. I live far out on the country-side – our house is surrounded by fields and trees, and not so far away is a fresh water lake. It is marvelous and it has been very supportive for me to live here. It has assisted and supported me to slow down, to ground myself, to become more stable. And, it has offered me many opportunities to expand on my interest in nature and in handcrafting. However, even though it is pretty amazing, I still take it for granted from time to time.

The primary reason that I have found as to why I take it for granted is because I become too involved in the thoughts in my mind, the useless, daily conversations taking place inside of my head, that lead nowhere. Instead of smelling the fresh air, and allowing my eyes to seep in the colors, and my ears, the sound, of this rural environment, I start to think about shit, that is of no relevance. An example would be, how I start to think about my job; am I doing it good enough? Or that I start to think about my future; am I at the right place in life? Should I be doing something different? Am I doing enough? Am I missing something?

There is really SO MUCH shit that we can spend our time thinking about. And it is quite fascinating that we do not see how insignificant and pointless these processes of thinking are. Where do they lead? Seldom anywhere, because just after we have started up one line of thinking, a new oe will appear, taking us into a different direction. There is really no coherence, consistency or common sense in how the thoughts in the mind move – it is a constant chatter – that have no practical value when it comes to living and participating in reality.

Thus, I want to push myself to not accept and allow this mind chatter, to not accept and allow this mind chatter to get in the way of me enjoying and participating in the beautiful place where I live. Because it is not possible to make the most of where I am at, if my attention is elsewhere, if I am instead in my mind, trying to figure out the next step, or the ‘right’ step. Fact is that, in my life at the moment, everything is set up for me to be able to slow down, and start enjoying/living/being part of this world. Thus, it is fascinating to see how small things become enlarged in the mind, how perspective is lost, and that what matters, and what is important becomes forgotten or diminished.

And then, what can be asked, is where I do the same in relation to other responsibilities/aspects/parts of my life? Where do I accept and allow irrelevant issues to cloud my clarity, my direction, my experience and living/taking part of my life fully. Small shit takes too much time, too much energy, too much life – it takes us too much away from life HERE – and it is HERE where our attention should be. Life is HERE – and it will not emerge suddenly, one day, when we have been able to find solutions to all of that clutter. Life is HERE and it will emerge when we make the decision, and decide to walk the process to make it happen.

 


Learn more about this way of living

Advertisements

Day 440: Changing Insecurity Into Security

This week I have looked at the word insecurity and how it plays a part in my life. Initially, I did not consider insecurity as a major influence in my day-to-day living, however, I have noticed that insecurity takes on many shapes and forms.

One point that I had not seen as insecurity before is my tendency to desire positive feedback from superiors and older colleagues, and to have someone who I perceive to be higher up in the hierarchy give me direction. Without the affirmation, I tend to doubt myself, and without someone that I perceive to be higher up than me, I tend to change my decisions, because I become fearful and worried that I am not doing the right thing. Thus, for me, insecurity is connected with doing the RIGHT thing – and somehow I have concluded that I cannot be the one that decides that what I am doing is the right – I have to be approved.

Insecurity is limiting, and from what I am able to see, insecurity is in its essence about not not seeing myself as an equal individual, but instead trying to have others approve of me, and using the small bursts of energy that arise from such occasions to build up an illusion of security. Though, fact is, that when the support is removed, when the feedback becomes negative, when the superiors and those I have used to create the feeling security change how they look at me, then it all comes crashing down. Then, I experience fear and anxiety instead, that which I otherwise would try to hide by getting the approval.

However, insecurity does not only take the shape and form of following and relying on the judgments/opinions/ideas of others, it also comes through in stubbornness – in wanting to blow myself up and build up a facade, an illusion, to make myself and others believe that I am secure. This arise from the mistake of believing that being secure means that I always know what to do, have the solutions, and see the right way ahead. However, self-security is not necessarily about knowing what to do, or about taking the lead, or about always being certain and doing things my way. Rather, self-security is that deep and untouchable comfort and calm, stemming from knowing that regardless what comes my way, it will not change who I am, it will not change my base values and principles, it will not sweep my off my feet.

I see, that for myself, a priority when it comes to security and living this word, is to stop comparing myself to others, and stop believing that what I want/see needs to be confirmed/accepted from another for me to go through with it. I do not need the perceived added value and weight of anothers perception for me to make a decision and follow through with it. That is not to say however, that I must now know everything myself. It is important to be able to ask for perspectives and receive input, though, the decision as to what I am going to do must be my own. If I do not stand with my decision, then when the tide turns, I will fall back on it – because it was not real – it was not actually done for me.

Security thus, would be to, among other things, trust myself to make decisions for me and to not use others agreeing or disagreeing with me as a reason to make the decision, but to rather take their perspective/information/input and to assess it independently, and then make a decision for and as myself on the basis of my own reasoning.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on others for me to make decisions, to rely on others to give me input, an opinion, a decision, so that I am able to lean upon them, instead of developing effective and self-independent reasoning skills, where the input and perspectives of others, are resources that I utilize in my own process of assessment and not reasons in themselves as to why I should or should not make a certain decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be concerned about the opinions of another, in the sense, of fearing that I will make a mistake and do something that will be considered, by another, as a bad/wrong/stupid/inadequate – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowing myself to base my sense of security on comparison – as to comparing myself with others – and if I find myself to be/do/live similar to what I believe others value positively – to then feel secure/safe/and on the right path

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that if I am to stand as my own chief and boss, as an entrepreneur, I require to change this point, and transform it into real security, real trust, real acceptance – where it is thus not about acquiring a life/way of living that I perceive to be right by comparison – but instead living a life for and as myself that I KNOW is an expression of and as myself – because I know myself – I have reasoned and concluded my own decisions – I know where I am going – and I know what I am going to do with and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that in order to make decisions that I can stand by consistently, long term, I have to make certain, that I do not base those decisions on a comparison, where I use the ideas/opinions/perceptions of another as my sole point of reason – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not developed and create my own reasoning abilities – to push myself to create self-independence within and as myself – where I am secure – in the sense that I am able to learn from and take from others what will support and empower me – however I make the decisions within me and do not accept and allow someone else to take that role within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow instead of being my own creator – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more secure in following – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that following is always a point of dis-empowering myself – where I believe – that only because I do what another tells me to do – I am safe and on the right track – because I fear listening to and trusting myself – and fear developing my own reasoning abilities and making my own decisions – because that would imply that I am fully and wholly responsible for myself – my life – my consequences – my creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to have someone make decisions for me, to want to have someone to follow, so that I do not need to be responsible for the decisions I make, for the direction that I take, for the consequences of my actions – but so that I always have someone to blame if things go wrong – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – bring myself back here – and see, realize and understand – that it does not assist and support me to follow – and that even though I follow – I will still have to walk the consequences of my actions – because even though I convince myself otherwise – its still my actions

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself moving within myself to use another as a reason for me making a decision, where I rely upon another, without me assessing and looking at the point first, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this tendency of mine, to want to follow and use others as a reason, it dis-empowers me, and sets me off, spinning around, moving in directions that are not supportive, and eventually, I do not act or live the way that is best for me, because I follow, instead of direct – and thus I commit myself to DIRECT myself – and practice developing my own critical reasoning abilities – where I make decisions for and as myself – and assess the information received by others – not use it as my prime reason to move

When and as I see myself want to follow, rely upon, move myself because of the feedback of another, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I do, I create consequences for myself – I live in a way that is not supportive to me – and I make decisions that I later fall back on because I have not made/created them for me – AND – I miss out on actually LIVING and BUILDING my life for and as me – because I instead follow – and thus I commit myself to stop following and to starting living – to stop relying upon and instead develop my own point of movement and direction – where I make decision for and as me – though obviously – utilizing the perspectives and living of others as a inspiration and point of assistance and support


Learn more about this way of living

Day 432: Success, It Is About Starting

Yesterday I read a great blog on the topic of success called A New Dimension of SUCCESS, in which a cool definition of success was brought forth:

Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something

This definition of success does not target material wealth, the result, rather it is about ACTING – and I find that empowering. I have many times feared walking into new ventures and directions, because I suspected I might not be able to make them successful and worth my effort, and due to this I have stopped myself from having new experiences. And I have also seen how I evaluate past projects on the basis of how much wealth I was able to produce, or time I was able to save, or how much attention I received from others, or how close to my initial goal that I came. The problem with evaluating my projects through such quantitative measurements is that I will miss MYSELF within all of them, and miss that, regardless of the outcome, I actually walked a process, I did something, and if I look closely, I will see that I learned something as well.

Defining success as the actual decision to DO something, that supports growth and movement, it supports courage and direction, it supports creativity and inventiveness – it is a EXPANSIVE definition – where the goal is the PROCESS, the JOURNEY, the DECISION, and not the actual outcome in itself.

However, there is something missing from the definition, and that is the point of OTHERS/EXISTENCE. Because, there is more to this life than myself, and real success is only real when everyone benefits. The principle of what is best for all is a essential component in success, for success to be substantial and worthwhile.

Thus – I would like to change the definition above to the following:

Success is the ACT of moving myself to accomplish a goal/direction/project that benefits/supports life in some way, and it is also my EXPERIENCE of the creation process, and it is what I LEARNED through doing it

With this redefinition of success, what is accentuated is the point of making sure that my direction/project/goal actually brings through some sort of value/support in life – if what I do is harmful/self-interested only based on what I want with no regard for another – its not SUCCESS. Further, with this redefinition, the process of creation is placed in the limelight – what is important thus is the MOVEMENT – to actually do something – to not let it remain on a idea level. Ideas/projects/potentials – they are meant to be EXPLORED and MOVED. Hence – if there is an idea – and I want to bring it through – then next point is to PLAN and then DO – it is as simple as that. And – regardless of the outcome – there will be things I have learned, an experience that I can take with me – and that is SUCCESS as well.

For those interested on further perspectives on SUCCESS I suggest listening to the following interviews:

Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 571

More Dimensions of Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 572

Practically Working with Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 573


Learn more about this way of living

Day 430: What is Success?

When I look at what success means to me at the moment, I am able to see that it is something I define through comparison. To me currently, success is relative, and it is based upon what others think are successful, and then, through comparing myself to where others are, I accordingly position myself on the ‘success’ thermometer. However, I find that this definition is problematic, because by defining success in relation to others, I miss myself.

Hence, if I would slow myself down, and look at what success if for myself, I see that success is something very personal. What is success for me, might not be success for another – because success – has to do with my intent – and what I want to create and build in my life. Thus, in-fact, I can never become successful if I only keep striving towards that which I believe others see as being successful, as I have not even then, actually defined for myself, what is success?

Hence, if I bring the point back to myself, and look at success, what does this word entail to me?

The way I see success, it implies, actually walking through a difficulty/challenge, or walking a path, a process of creation, where I have a set goal and direction, and success, would be the point where I am actually able to reach this point. Practically speaking, success to me would mean walking this process of birthing life from the physical, diligently, consistently and really change myself. It would mean that I follow my inner voice and walk a life that is ME – and not a life where I try to be what everyone else wants to be. Further, success would be a me, doing something with my life that can contribute and support the lives of others, and where I hence, support the growth of success in a crowd of people. Further, a life filled with animals, nature and movement, that would be success to me – a life that I have created for myself because I have seen that it is best for me – I have seen that it is what I genuinely want – that is success to me.

What everyone else is doing is immaterial, and if there is a movement of jealousy or comparison within me, it is indicating that I am still not clear on what success is to me! Then I am still clouded, and really, without my own principle and direction. And that is also interesting, that when my head turns, and the comparisons start to emerge, it is showing me that I have not yet decided, I have not yet committed, I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be intimate with myself, and actually within that, commited to a direction that I want for myself. Thus, a part of success has to do with self-respect, self-awareness, and self-value – because unless I see value in myself and what I want for me – how can I ever make the decision to create and live a life for myself – that I want for and as myself – as successful?

Thus, I will sit down for myself and write out what is success for me more clearly – so that I make sure – that when I walk and live the word success – it is a word that I create and live for and as myself – and not something I do to be like everyone else.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define success in separation from myself, to see success, and strive for success, through wanting to do what everyone else defines and sees as successful – instead of asking myself – and looking within myself – what I want to do with my life – what I want to create – what is success for me? What does it mean to achieve for me? What does it mean to make something meaningful and great out of myself and my life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure success according to how I perceive others see and define success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for example – strive to have the perfect career – because everyone else seems to value that – strive to achieve and have the perfect home – because everyone else seems to value that – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself – to forget about myself – to not look within myself –  because I am too busy worrying – fearing – creating experiences about what others are or are not doing with themselves and their lives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a successful life, in the eyes of others, instead of wanting a successful life for and as myself – and thus I see, realize and understand how important it is for me to define – what is success? What does it mean to be successful for ME? How can I achieve and create success in my life in a way that is BEST for me and thus BEST for ALL?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure myself through the eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, and be intimate with myself, and embrace the point within me of creating a life and a future that is in alignment with what is best for me and not how I believe everyone else wants to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others, and want to achieve that I perceive others want to achieve, so that I can feel that in comparison with others, I am better than them, and my life is better than theirs – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what constitutes a excellent and enjoyable life for me? What constitutes success for me? What does it mean for me to live life fully? And hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here – and bring the word SUCCESS back to and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others, or see myself trying to investigate/figure out what to do, through looking at what others are doing, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that I will not be able to live success, to experience success and have success unless I redefine and create success for and as myself, through asking myself, what is success in-fact, and thus, not trying to achieve and create success in a state of competition and fear – and hence I commit myself to investigate and create success in my life and for myself and do it as an expression of myself – as something that is genuine and real – and that I do because I see it is best – not something I do because I fear I will miss out otherwise


Learn more about this way of living

Day 394: A Decade With Desteni

In late 2008 I found videos on Youtube which contained a young female from South Africa explaining ‘reptilian logic’. One of the peculiarities was that the female did not speak in her own personal capacity. In the beginning of the video she breathed out heavily, and then took a deep in-breath, and through this process she was able to portal various forms of expressions in existence to come and speak through her body. I had never seen such a thing up to that point in my life and naturally I was blown away. For several months I was transfixed by these videos, and there were already at this point several hundreds of them, and half a dozen of new videos were uploaded every day. This was how I found DESTENI – and this was the beginning of how I came to change my life completely.

When I found the Desteni videos I was a disillusioned, angry, and lazy young man. I was looking for some kind of adventure and purpose in my life. I really had no idea what I was going to do with myself – however – I knew that I did NOT want to become part of the system – I did not want to spend my life breaking my back in the literal or figurative coal mines of the world. I felt a great resistance towards adults and the life they led and judged them as sellouts – that had given up on their childish drive to express in order to ascertain a secure livelihood. Obviously, at this stage in my life, I was still very much immature, and had not yet understood the demands and pressures of living in this world – because I had always had my survival ensured by my parents – there were always enough money – and thus I could afford to judge and place myself outside of the current money system.

This all changed with Desteni. In late 2009 I decided to travel to South Africa to stay on the Desteni farm for three months. Here I met with Destonians from all kinds of locations and nationalities and with the founder of Desteni, Bernard Poolman. It was during my stay at the farm that I came to see that I did have some severe character problems that I had to change. One of the core issues that I identified was laziness and my tendency to move around aimlessly, without direction, without purpose, doing that which I wanted to do because I found it fun/entertaining, and not caring about contributing towards creating something substantial in my own life, let alone in the lives of others. During my stay at the farm I was encouraged to develop DISCIPLINE and to make a DECISION as to the PURPOSE/DIRECTION of my future life. I made the decision within myself to GO FOR IT – and I utilized the tools of Desteni (self-forgiveness, self-commitment statements and writing yourself to freedom) to push my boundaries and go where I had never gone before.

When I got home I decided upon my direction in life – I studied to improve my marks from college and was later admitted to the university. Here I made it my PURPOSE to LEARN and ACQUIRE as much knowledge and skill as was possible in my given field – and for a period of five years – I was completely engulfed in my studies – and recommitted myself each day to do my utmost. I graduated with grades that reflected my commitment and steadfast application – something that I would NEVER have been able to do without the assistance and support of Desteni, the courses, the support and the tools they offer. The Desteni group, that was always a part of my life, helped me as a reminder, to refocus and continuously bring myself back to that which is IMPORTANT – that which is SUBSTANTIAL – that which actually MATTERS. Because, it is SO easy to get lost in this world. There are temptations everywhere – and so many of us invest extreme amounts of energy, effort, time and money into shallow relationships, short term gratifications such as drugs, alcohol, money and sex – while missing that which is of most pressing importance – WHO WE ARE – and OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OURSELVES.

Desteni has consistently assisted and supported me to bring myself back to that which is important and significant – that which actually means something on a long term basis. Through the courses and tools offered by Desteni I have been able to empower myself in ways which I could not have imagined. It is truly fascinating to have witnessed and been a part of my own process of transformation – where I have moved myself from an obstinate adolescent – to instead wanting to and being willing to walk in this world – to integrate myself into society and the workforce – so that I am able to contribute and give as I would like to receive.

It is now a Decade since Desteni formed and began producing content aimed at supporting people to make the best out of themselves and their lives. For me, that has been part of this organization for several years at this point, I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to have been given the chance to walk with such a rock solid group of people and to have received their support and guidance. Desteni has given me the opportunity to become and do so much MORE in this life – I have grown and matured as a person which is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I now dream about a world where everyone will be given the same opportunity as I have and that is something I will strive to create. Everyone deserves the opportunity to develop themselves and their lives and make something extraordinary out of it – this is what Desteni provides.


Learn more about this way of living

Day 365: Conditioning Self-Expression

Today I took some time to direct a couple of my material belongings that had been put in storage. I approached the project with the starting point that I had to make a decision for each of my belongings as to what was going to happen to it – what purpose it was going to have for the future to come. The things which I had not used in a couple of years I decided to give away – this group of things included a saxophone and a electric drum set. The underlying principle I applied was simple, with me these possessions were not used to their full potential, and by giving them away to someone that would actually use them, that would support fulfilling both the recipients expression and the instruments potential; in other words – giving the instruments away would be what is best for all.

However, and here is where it starts to get interesting, as I had made the decision to give away the instruments, I began to have second thoughts, and the backchat that moved within me was something along the following lines: ‘What if I will miss these instruments? I might want to play them at a later stage, and then I will not have them! Man, before when I was a bit younger, I played a lot of music, now I do not anymore, I really miss that’. Thus, my initial backchat was initiated by a fear of loss, and then my mind moved to how I miss playing instruments and having music as a part of my life – that latter part of the backchat as well motivated by a fear – a fear that I had lost these expressions of myself which I had accessed when I was younger as part of playing my instruments and devoting myself to music.

The experience took me by surprise, because I had seen that I was finished with these instruments, that I had used them and that I was satisfied with what I had expressed and achieved, though now with this fear coming up, I started to doubt myself. I took a breath and gave myself a moment to stabilize – and I looked at the point within myself.

I could see that practically speaking, I did not use the instruments. Not because I was hindered to do so, but because I had moved into a new part of my life where these instruments did not have the same role to fulfill. I could see that I was satisfied and fulfilled in terms of having explored and pushed myself to develop a relationship with the instruments and that I was ready to let them go. Thus, the fear did not have anything to do with my practical reality – it was all about myself – and how I was actually afraid of moving on and embracing the new expression of myself that have started to come through within me and my life – where my relationship with music and instruments has begun to change.

Because music and the expressions that I could access and live with my instruments, they are still part of my life, however the structure of my life today is different. Now, I express myself with music by singing songs that I really enjoy out loud, together with a stereo blasting the track at the same time – and the creative part of music – which I before expressed through writing and composing songs – that has become part of my job – where I spend a lot of time writing – and my carpentry hobby – where I must use my imagination and problem solving skills to create and find solutions.

Thus – with giving away some of my instruments – I am not giving away the expressions that I have developed and lived in making music – because those expressions are a part of ME – as such I see that it is important to not get lost in the structure and picture of this world – and relate what I experience and live to the images – because it is not about what it looks like – it is about WHO I AM – and HOW I EXPRESS myself within what I do.

I have found that it is easy to forget this, because the images seems to be so important, however looking back out my life, what has always been a constant is that the images change. My world will move, transform, become different, but I remain, which also exemplifies why it is so important to place attention and focus on developing OURSELVES – and not lose ourselves in the evanescent creations/allures of money and consumerism that so easily grip our attention and that we convince ourselves is the most significant point within our lives.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 364: Developing Self-Reliance

The most recurring experience as of late has been fear – mostly fear of survival. I have been working diligently with the point and made some notable progress, there is however still a lot to be walked. One aspect of the fear that I have yet to transcend is that of fearing authorities and superiors that in some way have power to effect my ability to survive. Because they are able to influence, for example, my access to money, the fear seems to be justified and reasonable when it arise. Obviously, I am aware that this is not the case, though the fact that this experience exists within me does reveal an interesting point; that there exist a hope/desire to be taken care of and supported by authorities.

If a negative experience exists, which in this case is fear, then a positive experience will exist as well, and in this case that positive experience is security and feeling backed. Hence, for me, authorities have become a means of substantiating my own lack of self-reliance.

Apart from forgiving the fear, the solution I see is to develop self-reliance. For example, that could be done through pushing myself to take active responsibility for my work and career – and not in anyway accept and allow myself to rely upon my employer to secure my influx of money – but to make sure that I am a effective, that my skills are superior, that I am professional and able to offer a service that is needed. Thus I take charge of my own self-creation, planning and access to money, and remove the variable, of needing my employer to stand behind me as a point of security.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely upon my superiors and authorities to handle my life for me – and to blame them when things does not go the way I want – and to feel good and love them when things do go the way that I want – instead of placing reliance back where it belongs – with myself – and thus making sure that I do live in such a way where I direct my life – I create my life – and where it is not about relying on someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being abandoned and judged by my superiors in fear of loosing my access to money and security, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to when I am able to please my superiors, to feel secure, safe and well cared for – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within a polarity in relation to my superiors, and the system, where I on the one hand love it, and on the other, fear it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is to stand equal and one with and as the system, with and as my superiors, to understand that in order to be stable within me, I require to take full responsibility for myself, my future, and my direction, and my actions at work, and to make sure that I am walking and creating my life in such a way that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to be able to handle my own survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the system to deal with and secure my survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not strong enough, or developed enough, or ready yet to take responsibility for my survival – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a parent and someone to care for me in the system – to seek for someone to be there for me and show me the way – instead of me taking full responsibility for myself and the direction of and as my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define myself as inferior to the system, inferior to my employer, inferior to survival, and thus believe that I cannot rely on myself, but that I need the system to stand beside me and support me – to be there as a father figure for me because I am not able to do it by myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear developing a real and sound reliance within myself – where I do not assume that things will work out and be alright – but where I take the appropriate actions to ensure that I move myself in a direction that is best for me and others in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the system, my superiors, when things do not work out in relation to my survival, when I make mistakes, and fear arise, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that I have created the pattern within me, that I have made the decisions and that it has nothing to do with the system, my superiors, my employers – in-fact it is a pattern I have developed where I fear taking active responsibility for myself – and I place my reliance out there into something else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to care for me, to support me, to be there for me, and to make my life secure and easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to make my life comfortable, to give my life direction, to move my life in the ‘right’ direction, to secure my life – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that money is in-fact a dead object – that it is not something that can save me and my future – that is something only I can do for myself – and thus fact is that money is a tool – something that I can use that support myself – however that support will only ever be as effective as I am within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to ensure my future, to rely on money to walk my process, to rely on money to take care of me, to rely on money to make things work for me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this belief that money will take care of everything – it is just that – a belief – and fact is that real security, real safety, real direction and care will only ever arise from my own decision and movement to stand as and live those words actively within and as my life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into either a fear or desire towards money, within the context of the belief that money can care for me, money will solve all problems, money will support me, money will ensure security and safety, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is an illusion that I have created for myself – that in-fact money is only as effective as I am within myself – and that if I am not clear – stable and directive – then money will not support me – and thus I commit myself to take back directive principle – to take charge of myself and my life and actively move myself to care for myself, to solve problems, to support me and to develop security and stability in my life – as who I am – and more concretely – I commit myself to do that through continuously pursuing to make the best of my life – to look for and act on opportunities when they do arise – to push my writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and my in the moment correction – to develop a stability that stands through the difficult times

When and as I see myself going into either a positive or a negative experience in relation to an event to concerns my superior, as either feeling safe, secure and cared for, or feeling that my survival is threatened, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this polarity within me indicates that I have not yet developed self-reliance and self-standing within me – in particular in relation to survival and money – and that I still want someone to care for me – and thus I commit myself to stop – to breathe and bring me back here – and instead – in the moment – look at how I am able to improve, expand, develop myself and move – how I can learn from mistakes to become more efficient in survival and moving myself in my reality – and what I can further strengthen and improve that already works – to thus take active charge of my self-development and utilize my failures and successes to guide me forward and to improve myself

 


Learn more about this way of living: