Last week I faced a situation at work where I had to handle a disagreement between two people. Subtly, however noticeably, I sided with one of them, because I felt/thought that they stood on a moral high ground. I decided to intervene and support them to find common ground and a solution. And here is where things go interesting. Because I was in a slight reaction of judgment towards one of the participants, I looked at potential solutions/ways to deal with the situation in a limited, one dimensional way. I wanted a fair solution, however, in only considering what was fair, I missed many other values and parameters that must be taken into account to find the BEST solution.
For example, the solution I saw within myself was the one of the persons (the one I judged) backed down from his position and agreed to a proposition, slightly different from what he wanted. And my inner motive for wanting this solution was that I thought it to be fair and right. However, by becoming focused on this one solution, I missed other values/dimensions, ways to solve the problem, that would have been better for both parties. Even though my solution helped one of the participants to ‘get his will through’, afterwards, I could see that, this was not necessarily the BEST way – and I could see, that it was not BEST for everyone to be just and fair.
And this is the point I want to get at: Fairness and Justice, even though they might seem to be ideals to strive towards, they are also one sided, impractical and by using these ideals to make decisions, we only take into account a few points out of the many, many dimensions that exist in physical reality, which must considered if we want to make good and effective decisions. And in-fact, even if I want to claim that I am impartially fair and just, at the core, there is a judgment, there is a reaction, there is a pattern that I have not yet dealt with that I require to look at.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify me becoming emotional and judgmental with thinking that I am being fair and just, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when I am emotional, and focused on what I feel is fair and just, then I am missing common sense, and I am not seeing the moment for what it is, I am not seeing ALL the parameters and dimensions of the point, and hence I am limiting myself from moving forward and bringing through and creating the BEST possible solutions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that being emotional is never a strength, even though I might claim that I am being just and fair, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not keep my cool, keep my stability, regardless of how unjust or unfair I feel that a situation is, and regardless of how much I want to go into and deal with the situation through becoming emotional, because emotions never help, they cloud my clarity, and at the end of the day, I create more problems for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empowered and strong when I access emotions, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access emotions because I believe that it is right to do so, because I believe that the situation needs it, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘force it’ – to try to scream, yell, and force myself to get power and control over a situation – instead of remaining with and as breath – remaining with and as stability – from which I can see the situation with clarity – from where I can make decisions that are best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that real strength, real power, real justice, and real fairness is to remain stable – and then to act according to what is best for all – taking into account ALL the points that are here – and when I stand with and as stability – I have the power and ability to consider ALL points – because then I am not limited and secluded into an emotional context where I am prejudiced and bound to move a certain direction because it is what I believe and feel to be right – however not necessarily what is the BEST
When and as I see myself judging, taking sides, or becoming emotional, when I am participating in a discussion, part of a conflict, or seeing others in a conflict, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I can only see with clarity, and can only establish and see ahead, what is common sense, and what is best for all, when I am stable, when I am grounded, when I am impartial, when I stand here able to view all vantage points – and hence I commit myself to stand impartial – to stand stable – to stand within and as my human physical body and see both parties – see EVERYONE involved without judgment or emotions – and thus I commit myself to push myself to select and go for the solution that is BEST for EVERYONE
Learn more about this way of living
- 7 Year Journey To Life Process: People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction
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- Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course
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- Creation’s Journey to Life
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