Tag Archives: live

Day 423: Changing our Patterns, Changing our Future

Some days ago I was hanging out with my daughter, she is close to two and a half years old at the moment. I could see the kind of person she is developing into – and it made me proud. I really enjoy seeing her expand – and I realized one thing: that this growth is not an accident – it is the result of my partner and I spending time and sharing the best of ourselves with her. Two and a half years might sound like a short time, though for a child, there is an amazing development. From being a piece of flesh, my daughter can now speak, do basic reasoning, create and maintain relationships, and share her likes and dislikes. In that moment I could see the result of our efforts – and it yet again brought forth the understanding within me that change/movement/creation comes through in the small moments accumulated over time.

It is easy to forget the power of accumulation and instead start to believe/think that there is more power in taking great strides. Small actions, when executed, feels easier, less impactful, and without as much meaning as putting in long hours of work into something. However, when that small action is done over and over again, consistently, over a period of time, it will start to have great and lasting impact. That is the secret of creating anything in this world – consistent – persistent – principled action. And this phenomenon is always part of reality. Each morning everything begins anew. Each day we have an opportunity to reinforce some form of pattern – and it is the quality of these patterns that will determine the result, the quality of our life. If we have a lousy quality on our patterns – then the result will be lousy. If our patterns are effective – we will have great results.

Walking the process of self-forgiveness is to learn to redesign our patterns into supportive and expansive structures that help us move forward. An easy example of how this works is the following. Let us say you have a pattern of going into fear of survival when you buy things, causing you to compromise yourself in terms of the goods and services you purchase. A redesign of such a pattern would be that you create a pattern of trusting yourself with money to buy what you require to be the best you can be. Such a pattern in relation to money will make you self-empowered with money.

All our life consists of these patterns – and they come through in child rearing. What most parents tend to do is to share/live patterns that are ineffective. An example of such a pattern is becoming angry when the child displays some form of destructive behavior instead of explaining what was wrong with the behavior, why it was wrong, and supporting the child to create a more effective way of relating to the world. And because we have dysfunctional patterns, our children gets a dysfunctional education, and they start breaking down in various ways. And this can all be avoided – when we walk our process – and change our dysfunctional patterns into patterns that supports equality, life and what is best for all.

My partner and I have walked this process of self-forgiveness – we still have a long way to go – however already – I can see the effects of our own personal changes in our daughter – and it is awesome. I wish I could have grown up the way my daughter grows up. She has two parents that want the best for her – and that have understood how unwanted patterns are created and how they can be directed. Everyone should know about this – especially those of us that are or that aspire to become parents.

We are all programmable and we live in a programmable world. This is the key to self-creation and supporting a child to create themselves. Everything can be directed with consistent and persistent action.


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Day 375: Opportunities

This past week I have been working with opportunities. A tendency I have is to compare my life to that of others. Naturally, it always seems as if I am worse off, which in turn can make me feel depressed. I will then stagnate and move my attention/focus unto what I should have done and what I have missed because I did not do it. This is problematic because it causes me to miss the life that is right in front of me.

That is why I have been practicing recognizing and moving on opportunities that come through. In can be small things. Still, if I am in my mind, I will miss them. For example, it can be that I meet someone that I have not seen in a long time. I then have the opportunity to do something more out of that interaction, which could be done by for example eating a lunch together. However the opportunity can be much more vague and difficult to spot. It can be a idea to do something that comes up while I drive my car. If I am not on my toes its easy to dismiss such things as daydreaming. Though it can be a worthwhile notion to move on. Who knows? That is why it is important to not worry about the life of others and compare myself and what I am doing with what others are doing.

The biggest issue that I have had with comparison have been in relation to my work. And this has been a reason as to why I have not dared to commit to any one direction or focus. I want to keep all roads free, because what if I make the wrong decision? What if I do not make the right choice, and then at the end of the day, I will compare my choice and realize that I was wrong? This fear inhibits my expression of moving on opportunities, interests, what fascinates and intrigues me, because I can never be sure where these will take me.

Where does comparison come from? From what I am able to see, comparison is a type of insecurity. It is cultivated with self-judgment, doubt, anxiety, and desires to be successful and famous. When I was a child I had no issues with comparison because all that existed was my life HERE. The decisions I made where fully my own. I did not care about whether someone else did the same or something different compared to me. My presence and enjoyment in the moment encompassed all of my inner reality – there was no room for comparison – every inch of me was needed HERE to express and live. And that is an important thing to take with me. That comparison cannot exist when I am FULLY engaged and present in the moment and in what I am doing.

The solution to be more awake and ready to move on the opportunities that present themselves is to be fully breathing – fully living – fully HERE. Comparing my life to that of others is really only a symptom of not living fully here – it shows me that I am accepting and allowing myself to do things halfheartedly, without intensity and passion – it shows me that I am thinking too much and not living. It is thus a opportunity in itself to investigate where it is that I am holding myself back and correct it.


Day 385: Structuring Life, What Have I Realized Thus Far?

I have now for a while been practicing living the word STRUCTURE. Thus far I have come to see, realize and understand a couple of things in relation to living this word. Firstly, in order to be able to live structure it is important to follow through on my plans – because structuring my life through using timetables, calendars and to-do-lists is only worthwhile if I actually commit myself to follow these. Hence, the word/expression ‘follow-through’ I have found to be very important.

Closely related to ‘follow-through’ is discipline. I have realized that it takes discipline to live structure. For me, this is because I have a tendency to become too impulsive and spontaneous, and sometimes, motivated by stress/anxiety to try and take on and do all things at the same time. Utilizing discipline however, I can push myself to remain consistent and true to my plans – which helps me to remain earthed/practical/rational with regards to how I use my time. With Structure, I can create an overview, however it takes discipline to then stick to the small steps which I have mapped out from that ‘overview’ position – because when I am in the middle of everything – it is easy to get sidetracked and digress.

Living and standing as the word structure is thus a combination of many different words and expressions. This is what makes it challenging to live structure – and especially for me – the challenge has been remain true to my initial commitments. Hence, when I have noticed that I digress, I have applied a technique where I stop up, slow myself down, and breathe for a few moments, and then I return to that point of having a overview, and from there, I look at what is required to be done next. And usually, what causes me to digress is some form of feeling or emotional, where suddenly, I experience something different as very relevant to pursue, though when looking at the point objectively, with clarity, that urge/stress is in-fact not real.

I have also found that structure is not only about time, planning and what happens in my external reality. Structure can also be applied within me. For example, making a decision to always apply self-forgiveness upon, and direct internal experiences as they arise, that is a type and form of structure/platform. Or, simply writing a self-commitment statement, where I specify how to deal with and direct myself in relation to a certain point, that is a form of structure. Thus – structure is an expansive word – that can be lived in a variety of ways – and thus far – I have primarily explored it in the context of work/career – however I do see a lot of potential with regards to living the word in other parts of my life as well.

 


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Day 349: Taking Care of Plants

A while ago I decided to take some potted plants to my office in order to make my working environment more comfortable and supportive. However, now, one of my plants have almost died due to dehydration and the other has been affected by dehydration – because I did not water them properly. Knowing that my external environment shows me who I am within, I decided to look at what I can learn about myself from this.

The word that popped up within me was nourish. I could see that the plants died because they did not get the proper nourishment, water. And it is not that I do not care about the plants, because I do, the problem is that when I am at the office, I usually get so caught up in a high strung energy of fast and efficient movement, that I get tunnel visioned and only see my work, and what task that I should get to next, and I do not take in my environment as a whole. Interestingly enough, I did not initially see that my plants experienced a tough time, as I was so completely invested into my work.

Obviously, this is not cool, and it is something that I want to change. I would want to be stable and have oversight, be calm and capable of nourishing myself and my environment, regardless of whether I am at work, or being at home relaxing. Instead of existing in a tunnel vision, I would want to have a expansive awareness of all the various lives that touch mine on a daily basis, so that I am able to support, nourish, and give as I would like to receive.

The solution is to ground myself using breath, and then deliberately expand my awareness through looking at and noticing what is going on around me – and then deliberately push myself to give time and attention to the lives around me – because another problem is that I will sometimes notice someone or something – yet not feel that I have the time to invest myself in their lives as I am so much into my own thing.

Thus slowing down and expanding my awareness to what is around me and pushing myself to invest time and effort into the lives that touch mine – to actively participate and give support and nourish – and see, realize and understand that it is not that I do not have time in-fact – it is that I am too fearful of losing time that makes me unable to effectively give as I would like to receive.


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Day 333: The Lack Perspective

The lack perspective, this is a way of viewing myself and my world and that has begun to open up and become more clear to me as of late. Seeing things from a starting point of lack is basically how the world currently operates, and most people use lack as their motivation to get things done. An example would be our economy, that is measured and valued in growth, and where stagnation, or shrinkage, is seen as a failure – hence – the point with our economy is to move away from apparent lack and into growth. The same goes with education and children, where the standard way of viewing children is to see them as lacking character, experience, and perspective, and that society hence need to fill them up, push that lack away, and make the children useful and valuable.

Lack, what is missing, what is not here at the moment, this is how we have come to determine value, where hence value is created by fighting and suppressing the existence of lack, wherever it rears it head. It is however interesting, to see, realize and understand, that this lack perspective is not based on common sense, and it is not natural. Because is there in-fact lack? Or is it rather our judgment of what is here already? Where we see that things ARE NOT the way we want them to be (aligned to our ideals) and thus strive to mold, force, design our reality to fit our ideas, and in that completely missing what is here in this moment – and how we thus – do not work WITH what is here but instead FIGHT it.

I will give a practical example from my own life. A year ago I moved from a bustling and vibrant university town, where my days were filled with studies, and time for myself to bicycle, write, swim, and pursue other leisurely activities, to a small provincial town, where I started my first real full time job. On top of moving to a town with a different character, and now having most of my time occupied with the responsibilities of work, my partner and I built a house, and we are now on our way to have a child together – to put it mildly – my life changed quite drastically – from simple, easy, entertaining, to being challenging, and very, very different. I could no longer take my bike and ride the 3 kilometers into the town center to attend my lecture, as I instead had to take my car, and drive 30 kilometers into town, to work an entire day.

I have experienced this change as a form of limitation, where my life as it used to be, with all its ease and comfortableness, was gone, and that I am now stuck in a set of circumstances that are less than optimal. This is what has triggered the thoughts such as: ‘It was better where I used to be!’ – ‘I had everything going for me before, now I am having this life, which limits me!’ – this in turn have generated the experience within me of LACK – which is basically an emotional experience that feels like a empty whole – combined with a sense of longing and desire for something MORE – something BETTER – something DIFFERENT – and in this case – with me – longing back to the place where I used to live in the belief that this would sort out my issues.

Thus, the experience that came up within me, and that I have for a moment gotten myself trapped within, is LACK, and this emotional experience is combined with constant mind-chatter, dreams, projections, imaginations, of how I could have lived and experienced myself if I had been anywhere but here. I had gotten possessed by LACK – and this is where I began to see, realize and understand the deceptive nature of the lack-experience and how it pulled me into a particular way of viewing the world that was actually limiting me.

Furthermore, what is interesting is that I have actually been creating LACK by placing my focus on the emotional experiences of lack/missing/longing, because what am I doing in that? I am going into and accepting and allowing a mental state to become the starting point of my life – instead of CREATING my life here in the physical, moving myself here, and instead of going into lack, asking myself; what am I able to create with what is ALREADY here?

The solution to lack is thus to embrace self-creation as the constant movement and flow of expression that comes through when I push myself to remain here, to remain physical, alert, ready, directive, sharp and aware of what is going on in every moment – thus ready and able to act and create when and as I see that it is required. And self-creation happens HERE – in every moment – it is not something that I am able to access when I am in a lack experience – as then all my focus and energy goes into LACK – instead of CREATION.

Lack is self-created – it is something we bring through by placing our attention on what we do not have instead of focusing on what we have and what we can do with it.

The solution: Work With What Is HERE.


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Day 322: Research, Planning and What Goes On Behind the Scenes

Since some weeks I have been laying concrete tiles where I live and through this I have reached a couple of insights when it comes to creation in the physical. Initially, when I first made the decision to lay concrete tiles, I did not know what it entailed. I did not have any previous knowledge and as such I was required to do the necessary research. I read up on the process and realized that the tiles in themselves is only the esthetic part of the structure – what makes the tiles effective is what is under them, which is various types of tightly packed and crushed rock and sand. In-fact, if the ground work is not done effectively, which is the process of packing the rock and the sand, the tiles will begin to shift, and change their positions only after a couple of years. Hence, the quality of the tiles, and how they will look, it is all dependent on structures that you cannot immediately see when you look at surface.

I am now soon finished with this project, and I am satisfied with the results, which I know is the outflow of having committed and pushed myself to walk all parts of the creation process with specificity. And what I learned from this process is how important thorough research and planning is when it comes to living and creating in this physical world; how are we able to expect that things will turn out fine if we do not put in the time to get to know the variables of physical creation? It is impossible, and still, this has been my customary way of approaching creation – just winging it. And is not this the way we tend to approach creation in other parts of life as well?

Let us look at relationships for example. How many sit down to plan their future relationships? What words they want to be expressed and lived in the relationship, what they want out of it, and how they want to experience themselves? Very few, and still we expect that the relationship will magically turn out great. And the same goes with where we decide to live, what careers we take on, the future we walk into, how many of us actually sit down to research and plan a direction for our lives?

To learn to research and plan in all parts of our lives is empowering – because in becoming efficient, thorough and specific with these skills, we are able to establish a direction for ourselves – where we KNOW what path we are heading down – we know what we are creating, what we want, what we need, what we will accept and allow and what we will not accept and allow. And one person that I have learned a lot from in this regard is my partner. When we built our house together she was adamant about doing extensive research and having a well thought plan with regards to each small aspect of our future home. It was fascinating to see, but at that stage, I was not ready for it, and did not appreciate the skills properly. I saw my partners passion for perfection as being overly ambitious. Though, as the house stood complete, I could see the fruit of my partners specificity, and also the consequences of my own lack of specificity, because certain parts of the house that I had been in charge of did not turn out the way I wanted.

When looking at the word PLAN – it is similar to the sound of PLAY  – and PLANT – the sound of the word thus implying that planning is about PLAYING out scenarios – using our minds constructively to simulate a situation before we walk it for real – and PLANT – showing that planning is about PLANTING the seeds that will become our future. And if we for a moment take a look, a seed is basically a blueprint, that given certain conditions, will begin to grow and realize itself into manifestation. Thus, if we want to be a part of deciding our future, we have to plan, because in that we PLANT our seeds, as the words we place, which eventually, as we live and walk these words, will become our reality – that is how creation works.

It is the same things with MANIFESTOS – because what is a manifesto but a plan? A sequence of words placed unto paper describing a desired condition – and through living manifestos, we are able to MANIFEST our words into reality. Though, to know what to manifest, we have to do the research.

Now, what I have found fascinating in uncovering how important research and planning are when it comes to any form of self-creation, is that this part of creation is not necessarily visible. For example, I today live in a home that I love, that is effective, and practical, however, for my home to become this way, there has been A LOT of time and effort invested into coming up with, and preparing this creation – what can be seen as the finished house is only a minuscule part of the entire creation process. And thus, what I would like to highlight with this is the importance of learning to see beyond the immediate picture that we are faced with. Everything is not what it looks like, and even in the simplest of creations, there are most often a significant amount of preparatory labor and effort invested. And this is something I will take with me when I in the future will look for and decide to take on new projects, to take into consideration that I will not only have to do visible physical creation, but also the time required to efficiently plan and prepare for the executive phase.


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Day 252: How You Make Something More Out of Your Life

actionWhat is your definition/understanding of someone that is making something more out of their life? Do you see before yourself a president, or an important statesman? Maybe you see a big-shot international human rights lawyer that is fighting for the rights of ethnic minorities? I would say that there is a high probability that the person you envision holds some form of a important position, or at least, what we in mainstream society consider to be important.

Though, let’s look at this point in common sense: If, let us say, the definition of ‘making a difference in this world’ and ‘making something more out of yourself’ is to stand in the position of a president, and in that position make these ‘great reforms’ – how many of us would then have any capacity to really affect change in this lifetime? Not that many huh? In-fact, there is only a handful lucky enough to get into such an influential position. YET – does this then mean that the rest of the worlds population is unimportant, meaningless, and without any purpose?

The simple answer to that question is NO – it does not – and here we must re-look at, and redefine the point of ‘making something more out of our life’ and extract the true implication and meaning of this statement. What does it really mean to make a difference, to make a change, to have an effect, to make something more out of your life? Are you able to effect change, and make a difference even though you are a lowly paid worker, being a garbage man, or a worker in the grey zones of society, such as a stripper, or a prostitute? According to the dogma of society, apparently these human beings are low life scum, and they cannot contribute, and give value, because they lack education, and refinement – though I beg to differ.

What I see is that we all, regardless of where we live, regardless of our circumstances, regardless of our job, regardless of our upbringing, we all have opportunities to stand and live for a change that will have an impact. And maybe we will not be able to see the effects, the effects of our actions just at this moment in time, but only somewhere in the future – maybe not even in our lifetime. But if we act, take a stand, and if we dedicate ourselves, and our lives to bring through a change, it will create ripples, it will mean something, and it will come through in some way or another, that is certain.

But let us say we work as a garbage man, we have a low pay, have apparently no connections, and no ability to bring anything of value into this world, what can we then do? So here, we must look at the following, that even though we apparently work at the bottom of society, we have colleagues that we meet everyday, possibly we have a family that we interact with, also on a daily basis, and we have the extended family, neighbors, and the local grocery store, where that Indian guy works, where we buy our lunch each day – SO can you see? Even though we perceive ourselves to be at the low end of the food chain, we do have quite the network, quite the number of people we meet, that we influence on a daily level, where our words, and our actions will have a direct impact in the life of another.

And here lies the secret of changing the world, and making something more out of yourself, and your life, and imparting real value, and contributing to actual evolution. The secret is you – CHANGING – YOURSELF! And look – you might change a pattern within you of being irritated and frustrated in the morning, and one of your co-workers notice this about you – and he starts to ask himself – silently of course: ‘how did he (you) do that?’ Without even knowing it, you’re setting an example to a network of people in your life – and because you’re not angry in the mornings anymore – you now, by coincidence, strike up a conversation with the mail man, that you usually ignore because you are so annoyed – AND – you guys happen to be very similar and you really hit it off – things expand – because YOU expand in yourself and your living application.

This is what we need, normal people, in normal life circumstances, making the extraordinary decision to change their lives, WHO THEY ARE as a human being to become something better, to become something that they can be proud over, and in that these normal human beings, with average lives, have an effect on their environment that is truly exceptional. A human being that has changed WHO THEY ARE, that stand stable, and sound in every moment, ready to support others, and deal with life utilizing common sense, that is a resource for the entirety of humanity – and this is a gift we are able to give to ourselves, and this world – irrespective of our circumstances – we can always make, and live the decision to create ourselves to be a more enhanced and functional human being.

Thus, For those of you ready to make the commitment, to change your lives, and in that, make a contribution to this world, which remain after your death, I recommend that you investigate the following links:

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:
Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)

DIP Pro

Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)

For your Info:
Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation