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Day 385: Structuring Life, What Have I Realized Thus Far?

I have now for a while been practicing living the word STRUCTURE. Thus far I have come to see, realize and understand a couple of things in relation to living this word. Firstly, in order to be able to live structure it is important to follow through on my plans – because structuring my life through using timetables, calendars and to-do-lists is only worthwhile if I actually commit myself to follow these. Hence, the word/expression ‘follow-through’ I have found to be very important.

Closely related to ‘follow-through’ is discipline. I have realized that it takes discipline to live structure. For me, this is because I have a tendency to become too impulsive and spontaneous, and sometimes, motivated by stress/anxiety to try and take on and do all things at the same time. Utilizing discipline however, I can push myself to remain consistent and true to my plans – which helps me to remain earthed/practical/rational with regards to how I use my time. With Structure, I can create an overview, however it takes discipline to then stick to the small steps which I have mapped out from that ‘overview’ position – because when I am in the middle of everything – it is easy to get sidetracked and digress.

Living and standing as the word structure is thus a combination of many different words and expressions. This is what makes it challenging to live structure – and especially for me – the challenge has been remain true to my initial commitments. Hence, when I have noticed that I digress, I have applied a technique where I stop up, slow myself down, and breathe for a few moments, and then I return to that point of having a overview, and from there, I look at what is required to be done next. And usually, what causes me to digress is some form of feeling or emotional, where suddenly, I experience something different as very relevant to pursue, though when looking at the point objectively, with clarity, that urge/stress is in-fact not real.

I have also found that structure is not only about time, planning and what happens in my external reality. Structure can also be applied within me. For example, making a decision to always apply self-forgiveness upon, and direct internal experiences as they arise, that is a type and form of structure/platform. Or, simply writing a self-commitment statement, where I specify how to deal with and direct myself in relation to a certain point, that is a form of structure. Thus – structure is an expansive word – that can be lived in a variety of ways – and thus far – I have primarily explored it in the context of work/career – however I do see a lot of potential with regards to living the word in other parts of my life as well.


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Day 349: Taking Care of Plants

A while ago I decided to take some potted plants to my office in order to make my working environment more comfortable and supportive. However, now, one of my plants have almost died due to dehydration and the other has been affected by dehydration – because I did not water them properly. Knowing that my external environment shows me who I am within, I decided to look at what I can learn about myself from this.

The word that popped up within me was nourish. I could see that the plants died because they did not get the proper nourishment, water. And it is not that I do not care about the plants, because I do, the problem is that when I am at the office, I usually get so caught up in a high strung energy of fast and efficient movement, that I get tunnel visioned and only see my work, and what task that I should get to next, and I do not take in my environment as a whole. Interestingly enough, I did not initially see that my plants experienced a tough time, as I was so completely invested into my work.

Obviously, this is not cool, and it is something that I want to change. I would want to be stable and have oversight, be calm and capable of nourishing myself and my environment, regardless of whether I am at work, or being at home relaxing. Instead of existing in a tunnel vision, I would want to have a expansive awareness of all the various lives that touch mine on a daily basis, so that I am able to support, nourish, and give as I would like to receive.

The solution is to ground myself using breath, and then deliberately expand my awareness through looking at and noticing what is going on around me – and then deliberately push myself to give time and attention to the lives around me – because another problem is that I will sometimes notice someone or something – yet not feel that I have the time to invest myself in their lives as I am so much into my own thing.

Thus slowing down and expanding my awareness to what is around me and pushing myself to invest time and effort into the lives that touch mine – to actively participate and give support and nourish – and see, realize and understand that it is not that I do not have time in-fact – it is that I am too fearful of losing time that makes me unable to effectively give as I would like to receive.

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Day 333: The Lack Perspective

The lack perspective, this is a way of viewing myself and my world and that has begun to open up and become more clear to me as of late. Seeing things from a starting point of lack is basically how the world currently operates, and most people use lack as their motivation to get things done. An example would be our economy, that is measured and valued in growth, and where stagnation, or shrinkage, is seen as a failure – hence – the point with our economy is to move away from apparent lack and into growth. The same goes with education and children, where the standard way of viewing children is to see them as lacking character, experience, and perspective, and that society hence need to fill them up, push that lack away, and make the children useful and valuable.

Lack, what is missing, what is not here at the moment, this is how we have come to determine value, where hence value is created by fighting and suppressing the existence of lack, wherever it rears it head. It is however interesting, to see, realize and understand, that this lack perspective is not based on common sense, and it is not natural. Because is there in-fact lack? Or is it rather our judgment of what is here already? Where we see that things ARE NOT the way we want them to be (aligned to our ideals) and thus strive to mold, force, design our reality to fit our ideas, and in that completely missing what is here in this moment – and how we thus – do not work WITH what is here but instead FIGHT it.

I will give a practical example from my own life. A year ago I moved from a bustling and vibrant university town, where my days were filled with studies, and time for myself to bicycle, write, swim, and pursue other leisurely activities, to a small provincial town, where I started my first real full time job. On top of moving to a town with a different character, and now having most of my time occupied with the responsibilities of work, my partner and I built a house, and we are now on our way to have a child together – to put it mildly – my life changed quite drastically – from simple, easy, entertaining, to being challenging, and very, very different. I could no longer take my bike and ride the 3 kilometers into the town center to attend my lecture, as I instead had to take my car, and drive 30 kilometers into town, to work an entire day.

I have experienced this change as a form of limitation, where my life as it used to be, with all its ease and comfortableness, was gone, and that I am now stuck in a set of circumstances that are less than optimal. This is what has triggered the thoughts such as: ‘It was better where I used to be!’ – ‘I had everything going for me before, now I am having this life, which limits me!’ – this in turn have generated the experience within me of LACK – which is basically an emotional experience that feels like a empty whole – combined with a sense of longing and desire for something MORE – something BETTER – something DIFFERENT – and in this case – with me – longing back to the place where I used to live in the belief that this would sort out my issues.

Thus, the experience that came up within me, and that I have for a moment gotten myself trapped within, is LACK, and this emotional experience is combined with constant mind-chatter, dreams, projections, imaginations, of how I could have lived and experienced myself if I had been anywhere but here. I had gotten possessed by LACK – and this is where I began to see, realize and understand the deceptive nature of the lack-experience and how it pulled me into a particular way of viewing the world that was actually limiting me.

Furthermore, what is interesting is that I have actually been creating LACK by placing my focus on the emotional experiences of lack/missing/longing, because what am I doing in that? I am going into and accepting and allowing a mental state to become the starting point of my life – instead of CREATING my life here in the physical, moving myself here, and instead of going into lack, asking myself; what am I able to create with what is ALREADY here?

The solution to lack is thus to embrace self-creation as the constant movement and flow of expression that comes through when I push myself to remain here, to remain physical, alert, ready, directive, sharp and aware of what is going on in every moment – thus ready and able to act and create when and as I see that it is required. And self-creation happens HERE – in every moment – it is not something that I am able to access when I am in a lack experience – as then all my focus and energy goes into LACK – instead of CREATION.

Lack is self-created – it is something we bring through by placing our attention on what we do not have instead of focusing on what we have and what we can do with it.

The solution: Work With What Is HERE.

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Day 322: Research, Planning and What Goes On Behind the Scenes

Since some weeks I have been laying concrete tiles where I live and through this I have reached a couple of insights when it comes to creation in the physical. Initially, when I first made the decision to lay concrete tiles, I did not know what it entailed. I did not have any previous knowledge and as such I was required to do the necessary research. I read up on the process and realized that the tiles in themselves is only the esthetic part of the structure – what makes the tiles effective is what is under them, which is various types of tightly packed and crushed rock and sand. In-fact, if the ground work is not done effectively, which is the process of packing the rock and the sand, the tiles will begin to shift, and change their positions only after a couple of years. Hence, the quality of the tiles, and how they will look, it is all dependent on structures that you cannot immediately see when you look at surface.

I am now soon finished with this project, and I am satisfied with the results, which I know is the outflow of having committed and pushed myself to walk all parts of the creation process with specificity. And what I learned from this process is how important thorough research and planning is when it comes to living and creating in this physical world; how are we able to expect that things will turn out fine if we do not put in the time to get to know the variables of physical creation? It is impossible, and still, this has been my customary way of approaching creation – just winging it. And is not this the way we tend to approach creation in other parts of life as well?

Let us look at relationships for example. How many sit down to plan their future relationships? What words they want to be expressed and lived in the relationship, what they want out of it, and how they want to experience themselves? Very few, and still we expect that the relationship will magically turn out great. And the same goes with where we decide to live, what careers we take on, the future we walk into, how many of us actually sit down to research and plan a direction for our lives?

To learn to research and plan in all parts of our lives is empowering – because in becoming efficient, thorough and specific with these skills, we are able to establish a direction for ourselves – where we KNOW what path we are heading down – we know what we are creating, what we want, what we need, what we will accept and allow and what we will not accept and allow. And one person that I have learned a lot from in this regard is my partner. When we built our house together she was adamant about doing extensive research and having a well thought plan with regards to each small aspect of our future home. It was fascinating to see, but at that stage, I was not ready for it, and did not appreciate the skills properly. I saw my partners passion for perfection as being overly ambitious. Though, as the house stood complete, I could see the fruit of my partners specificity, and also the consequences of my own lack of specificity, because certain parts of the house that I had been in charge of did not turn out the way I wanted.

When looking at the word PLAN – it is similar to the sound of PLAY  – and PLANT – the sound of the word thus implying that planning is about PLAYING out scenarios – using our minds constructively to simulate a situation before we walk it for real – and PLANT – showing that planning is about PLANTING the seeds that will become our future. And if we for a moment take a look, a seed is basically a blueprint, that given certain conditions, will begin to grow and realize itself into manifestation. Thus, if we want to be a part of deciding our future, we have to plan, because in that we PLANT our seeds, as the words we place, which eventually, as we live and walk these words, will become our reality – that is how creation works.

It is the same things with MANIFESTOS – because what is a manifesto but a plan? A sequence of words placed unto paper describing a desired condition – and through living manifestos, we are able to MANIFEST our words into reality. Though, to know what to manifest, we have to do the research.

Now, what I have found fascinating in uncovering how important research and planning are when it comes to any form of self-creation, is that this part of creation is not necessarily visible. For example, I today live in a home that I love, that is effective, and practical, however, for my home to become this way, there has been A LOT of time and effort invested into coming up with, and preparing this creation – what can be seen as the finished house is only a minuscule part of the entire creation process. And thus, what I would like to highlight with this is the importance of learning to see beyond the immediate picture that we are faced with. Everything is not what it looks like, and even in the simplest of creations, there are most often a significant amount of preparatory labor and effort invested. And this is something I will take with me when I in the future will look for and decide to take on new projects, to take into consideration that I will not only have to do visible physical creation, but also the time required to efficiently plan and prepare for the executive phase.

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Day 252: How You Make Something More Out of Your Life

actionWhat is your definition/understanding of someone that is making something more out of their life? Do you see before yourself a president, or an important statesman? Maybe you see a big-shot international human rights lawyer that is fighting for the rights of ethnic minorities? I would say that there is a high probability that the person you envision holds some form of a important position, or at least, what we in mainstream society consider to be important.

Though, let’s look at this point in common sense: If, let us say, the definition of ‘making a difference in this world’ and ‘making something more out of yourself’ is to stand in the position of a president, and in that position make these ‘great reforms’ – how many of us would then have any capacity to really affect change in this lifetime? Not that many huh? In-fact, there is only a handful lucky enough to get into such an influential position. YET – does this then mean that the rest of the worlds population is unimportant, meaningless, and without any purpose?

The simple answer to that question is NO – it does not – and here we must re-look at, and redefine the point of ‘making something more out of our life’ and extract the true implication and meaning of this statement. What does it really mean to make a difference, to make a change, to have an effect, to make something more out of your life? Are you able to effect change, and make a difference even though you are a lowly paid worker, being a garbage man, or a worker in the grey zones of society, such as a stripper, or a prostitute? According to the dogma of society, apparently these human beings are low life scum, and they cannot contribute, and give value, because they lack education, and refinement – though I beg to differ.

What I see is that we all, regardless of where we live, regardless of our circumstances, regardless of our job, regardless of our upbringing, we all have opportunities to stand and live for a change that will have an impact. And maybe we will not be able to see the effects, the effects of our actions just at this moment in time, but only somewhere in the future – maybe not even in our lifetime. But if we act, take a stand, and if we dedicate ourselves, and our lives to bring through a change, it will create ripples, it will mean something, and it will come through in some way or another, that is certain.

But let us say we work as a garbage man, we have a low pay, have apparently no connections, and no ability to bring anything of value into this world, what can we then do? So here, we must look at the following, that even though we apparently work at the bottom of society, we have colleagues that we meet everyday, possibly we have a family that we interact with, also on a daily basis, and we have the extended family, neighbors, and the local grocery store, where that Indian guy works, where we buy our lunch each day – SO can you see? Even though we perceive ourselves to be at the low end of the food chain, we do have quite the network, quite the number of people we meet, that we influence on a daily level, where our words, and our actions will have a direct impact in the life of another.

And here lies the secret of changing the world, and making something more out of yourself, and your life, and imparting real value, and contributing to actual evolution. The secret is you – CHANGING – YOURSELF! And look – you might change a pattern within you of being irritated and frustrated in the morning, and one of your co-workers notice this about you – and he starts to ask himself – silently of course: ‘how did he (you) do that?’ Without even knowing it, you’re setting an example to a network of people in your life – and because you’re not angry in the mornings anymore – you now, by coincidence, strike up a conversation with the mail man, that you usually ignore because you are so annoyed – AND – you guys happen to be very similar and you really hit it off – things expand – because YOU expand in yourself and your living application.

This is what we need, normal people, in normal life circumstances, making the extraordinary decision to change their lives, WHO THEY ARE as a human being to become something better, to become something that they can be proud over, and in that these normal human beings, with average lives, have an effect on their environment that is truly exceptional. A human being that has changed WHO THEY ARE, that stand stable, and sound in every moment, ready to support others, and deal with life utilizing common sense, that is a resource for the entirety of humanity – and this is a gift we are able to give to ourselves, and this world – irrespective of our circumstances – we can always make, and live the decision to create ourselves to be a more enhanced and functional human being.

Thus, For those of you ready to make the commitment, to change your lives, and in that, make a contribution to this world, which remain after your death, I recommend that you investigate the following links:

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)

For your Info:
Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation

Day 233: What You Focus Upon Grows

What you place your focus upon will grow?

Hands of elderly man and baby holding a young plant against a green natural background in spring. Ecology conceptYes, that is how it works and to take an example from my own life: I had planned to start my own business for quite some time, I’d made tons of research, gotten to know all the laws, many secrets of the trade, and I felt ready to go out there – though there was one problem – each time I was about to take that step out into the reality of actually starting, there was always something new that had to be prepared for the future. New things that I had to know, learn, or acquire before I could make the decision to put myself out there.

Thus, my focus was on the future, preparing myself to walk into the future, and even though such a focus is necessary to prepare a road for oneself, it becomes a problem when all the focus is on the future – when all the focus is one what must be done before I begin. Because when that happens, movement stagnates, passion recedes, and things begin to die. This is what happens to water when there is no movement, slowly but surely oxygen disappears, because there is no wind, or movement that allows for the air to interact with the water, and if on-top of the no sun reaches the water, it will be difficult for aquatic plants to do their process of photosynthesis, which compromises the living environment of the water even further.

Thus, in all living organisms, movement is natural, and in order to move, the plans for the future, must be enacted and walked. It’s not effective to only plan for something that might or hopefully come to fruition one day in the future, to be productive we must take action and get ourselves into the business of doing that which we plan.

Usually, what will hinder us from doing, and acting is fear, because fear leads to procrastination, and usually, what I’ve found, is that the fear will be irrational. For example, in terms of what I am facing in my life, the point of action that stands before me is that of putting myself out there, meeting people, and within that inevitably facing rejection – which is the major issue – fear of rejection. Though, if we take a look at fear of rejection, it’s easy to see that there is no real harm in being rejected, there is no physical, bodily harm caused when someone doesn’t want us in his or her environment. Thus, if we accept and allow ourselves to withhold our movement due to fear of rejection, that is actually equal to and the same things as putting our movement on hold, because we imagine that we are paralyzed (even though the body is perfectly fine). It’s the same principle – an illusion that we believe govern that which is physical and real.

Instead of seeing rejection as something bad, it should be seen in the context where it happens – if rejection occurs because I’ve put myself out there, made contact, and will myself to communicate – rejection is merely the mathematical certainty that of all people I will get into contact with, some of them will not like me. That will happen, and it’s simply what follows with the decision to not anymore hide behind fear of rejection. Thus, when rejection happens, it’s in-fact a proof that I did act regardless of my fears, and that didn’t accept and allow myself or my world to remain limited, and hence it’s not a situation/occurrence to judge – rather it can work as a motivation for me to become even more specific, effective, and sociable and within that to push myself to improve on my skills of approaching and dealing with people.

Day 227: Fear of Losing Time

Since becoming 28 years of age I’ve started to have these thoughts, and fears come up with regards to aging, and ‘losing my life’ – ‘losing my opportunity’ – and these thoughts are often accompanied with nostalgic memories, and pictures of the past – things that I did and didn’t do – and what I could, or should have done.

What is interesting is that the consequence of me accepting and allowing these thoughts is that my outlook on the future becomes colored by fear – and due to this my plans for the future tend to be made within a sort of hastiness – a feeling of lack of time and that apparently there is so much I must get before I become old and die – and unless I do them my life will not have been lived to it’s fullest potential. This is thus the design existent within me with regards to time, aging and using my breaths here on earth – it’s currently aligned within the principle of what I WANT DO with MY LIFE to make sure that MY LIFE was cool, effective, and that as I die – I can look back and feel super-content with myself.

In walking through the design of this point, one quote by Bernard Poolman comes to mind:

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to understand that any change will go hand in hand with resistance as I have to push through the automated occupation of self that is obsessed with time till I have removed this fear driven obsession with time and what I believe is important due to the effective ways I have allowed myself to become a participant in the current system of the individual self obsessed with personal achievement.” (see blog HERE).

This quote effectively encapsulates the design I’ve opened up here – it’s the design of being obsessed with time because it’s the resource I require to live out my addiction with personal achievement – and the origin of addiction is actually the want to feel good about myself – and because in achieving things in my personal capacity – more knowledge – more experiences – more money – I feel good and my self-image is upgraded. Though obviously this is not a real self-image – it’s only a façade based on energy that will disappear the instant I die.

In a blog I read recently (check it out HERE ) the point of DEATH is expounded upon – and this perspective I found to be very assisting. In the blog the realization is shared of how futile self-interest really is, how living a life in the name of self-glorification never amounts to ANYTHING at all – and that regardless of how much knowledge we accumulate, regardless of how far we reach in our careers – DEATH will always have the last say.

Thus, this begs the question – what is REAL value, what is REAL worth, what is REAL opportunity, what does it mean to REALLY live? And how do we create our lives to be of actual consequence? And there is really just one answer to that question – giving ourselves a HIGHER PURPOSE – without a HIGHER GOAL within and through we walk our daily lives to give as we’d like to receive – from the starting point of genuinely wanting to make this world a more effective and harmonious place to live in – there is practically speaking no point in living.

It’s fascinating – that in order to LIVE LIFE we have to GIVE UP our own life and open our eyes to the bigger whole – and realize that our value in this world is measured by what we’ve given – not by what we’ve received.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with my own future, my own life, and my own personal achievements, and thus fear becoming old, and aging, in fear of losing time that I can use to further my interests, desires, hopes, and wants – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this fear is in-fact valid, and believe that this worry that comes within me with regards to losing time that I could use for purposes of feeling like an achiever, is real – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this purely ego – and that the entire design is based upon fear and being obsessed with using my time to further my self-interests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that children do have something that adults lack, which is the ability to let go of the idea of achievement, and development, and rather embrace self here, and trust that self will walk what is required and necessary to be walked in the moment – and that there is really no lack of time, or grandiose project that must be completed within a certain time-space, in order for my life to apparently be successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life is HERE within and as the physical, that it exists within and as every moment of breath, that it’s not something hidden, masked and hanging in front of me like a carrot on a stick – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my time from within and as a starting point of fear – as the fear of losing my time – and losing my potential to build a particular careersfor myself, or a name for myself – to apparently within that become someone of importance, and significance in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the way I’ve approached goals, the future, my life, my daily living, has been within and as this slight undercurrent of fear, as the fear of losing my time, and spending my time on things that will not contribute to the enhancement, and creation of myself as someone that have achieved great success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and be stuck within this starting point of only caring for myself and my own success, my own hopes, and desires – and what I plan, and want to achieve in this life, that might make my future more bright than the future of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that real value, real worth, is the process of me giving as I’d like to receive – and that the effect of my life is not something that I should measure according to much I can create for myself, but rather how much I can create for life – which implies creating for the benefit of everyone – giving for the benefit of everyone – looking at what I can do and how I can move myself each and everyday that will have a lasting and positive effect on myself and others as well – and realizing that this is real value – what I leave behind in every moment that is of actual practical support for others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how death reveals the futility of self-interest, and how there is really no meaning in living only to create my own life, my own future, my own success – because eventually I will die – and then what I’ve created will not mean anything – because I didn’t give to this earth and this reality – I didn’t contribute practically and physically to actually place into this world points that will remain here after I’m gone and that will have a lasting and effective impact – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is what is important – this is what creating real value actually means – establishing a functional solution for a world that is best for all and giving this to others as I’d like to receive

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to realize that the value of my life and living is determined by what I give – and what I live that is of benefit to everyone and not only to myself – and that thus: This obsession with time, and creating my purpose and fulfilling myself – that it’s really futile – because at the end of the day – self-interest will simply not stand the test of time – and thus I commit myself to let go of this fear of not having personal achievement – to free myself from these shackles and accept and allow myself to give my life unconditionally to create – shaping – and building life in this physical world/reality

I commit myself to give myself to life – to give myself to others – to see, realize and understand that the key to a life in peace is in-fact caring for others for real – caring for this world for real – giving my life to creating life – being genuine in actually caring for and willing myself to manifest a solution because I care for life – and I care for humanity – and I want what is best for life because life is me

I commit myself to practice caring on a physical/practical basis – through genuinely asking myself what I can give to others – that will be of genuine support and assistance – and that will strengthen their lives and make them more complete and effective as beings – to thus change my starting point in life to instead give – and look at what I can do for this world – instead of looking at what this world can do for me