Tag Archives: living

Day 401: The Less Walked Path

My wife and I are in the process of arranging how we are going to move forwards with our daughter in terms of daycare. It is not a easy process – because the system is designed to facilitate a type of daycare that neither of us are satisfied with. And to do something different – a lot of effort is required. This is what I would like to explore in this blog – how the system as it currently functions has certain known paths that are a lot easier to move upon – and that there are alternative paths but that these are more difficult. And a weakness I have noticed in myself is that I will rather pick the easy path instead of picking the path I want – because the easier path is predictable and safe – while the difficult path requires effort, courage, determination and steadfastness.

I have several reasons why I tend to pick the easier path. One is that it makes me feel comfortable – I think that if everyone else does it – then it must be okay – because everyone else cannot be wrong, right? Though deep down I do understand that the mass is many, many times completely out of touch with reality. This is for example what happens in the creation of financial bubbles. A lot of people come together and form a belief that some form of asset is really valuable and that it will continue to raise in value infinitely. And then the price of this asset is pushed up until people start to question the value of the asset, or some other event occurs, that suddenly implodes the belief that the asset is infinitely going to raise in value. Then it drops, fast, and many lose their money in the process.

Thus far in my life I have made a couple of decision where I went against the grain and it has been difficult each time – primarily because I doubted myself. An interesting point however is that I am now very satisfied with these decisions and how they have played out. Because when I went against the grain I made sure that I did the research and that I knew what I was doing. That was something I needed to do as I could not rely on this feeling of safety that I am able to derive from seeing many others doing the same thing. Obviously that feeling of safety is irrational and deceptively reassuring. The only way of achieving real certainty with a decision is by doing my own independent research.

It is also not possible to trust the decisions that others make because many times they themselves do not know what they are doing. Outwardly they can present a cool, collected and rational facade – however internally – they can be driven by a variety of desires, fears, anxieties and or the deceptive feeling of safety that following the herd can create. Very few people make extensive research before committing. An example of this would be the current tendency to move to bigger cities and leave the smaller countryside cities. Many do this in the belief that it is going to provide them with a better quality of life. However – the facts in my country of origin indicate the opposite – which is way I decided to position myself in a smaller city. I doubted that decision a lot – though in retrospect I am able to see that my estimations were correct.

If we go back to the reasons as to why I tend to pick the easier path. A second of these is that it does not require much effort. When I go with the flow, there is already a system in place, I do not have do any creative work, as everything is already developed and streamlined – all I have to do is step into the stream and it will take me where I wish to go. Hence – I can sit back, relax, and not have to worry – and rest in the false belief that everything is taken care of. That is not how it works when I decide to go against the flow. Then I have to work to find solutions, I have to put in effort and move through physical and mental barriers to reach my goal. And many times I cannot be sure on the outcome. Even though I put in the hours – it does automatically imply that I will succeed. And that is also something that I fear. I do not want failure, mistakes and falling in my life – though that is what I am at risk of experiencing when I decide to travel upon the path least chosen. I will not be certain until I reach my destination – whereas when I chose the path of least resistance – I can rest in the comfortable feeling that everything will be all right.

I do understand that my reasons for wanting to pick the easier path are irrational and primarily based on desiring an easy life. Though what if I decide to be satisfied with an easy life and just following the path of least resistance – where is that going to leave me? Is it ever possible to be genuinely satisfied if I just do what comes naturally and easy for me? Will I ever feel as if I have created something if I go into an already established structure? I will have to say that I need challenges to grow and that there is no reason for me not to try to create the life I really want instead of settling for a mediocre existence that feels safe. The notion of safety is very deceptive as well – because even though I might feel safe, comfortable and secure with my decisions – everything can change in an instance. My house can burn down, war can erupt, nature catastrophes can strike – hence we are never really safe and secure – there is always a risk.

Thus – the path less walked will be my route of choice – challenging myself, doing new things, and venturing into new directions, that is what makes life exciting. And failures will be a part of a new direction – that is inevitable. And thus – we should never view failures as something negative and bad – it is simply part of the learning process, part of the expansion, and it shows where we are not yet mastering our new direction.


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Day 438: Practical Care

The word CARE. The past week I have practiced living this word and had a couple of realizations in the process.

One point that I realized was that in living care in relation others is that the focus must be how to give/share of myself in such a way that is supportive to another. That cannot be done effectively if I hold unto my own preferences and desires. An example is the following: I sat in the dining room at work and was talking to a colleague of mine. In the past, I have not bee able to talk with this person very well, because I judged their ‘taste’ in what subjects they want to discuss as boring/uninteresting. This time however, I had my eyes set on living the word care. I began to talk with my colleague, and I deliberately opened up and shared myself in relation to topics that I knew my colleague enjoyed to talk about. Further, I asked this person questions – questions I would have normally considered boring – however now – I asked them because I knew that they enjoyed this form of communication. And this was how I applied CARE in this moment.

On a similar note, I have also during my week, when I have heard friends, colleagues or family sharing with me a issue or problem that they have encountered, pushed myself to genuinely consider and look at their difficulty/issue/problem. And then I have communicated with them, and when I have been able to, shared a perspective/solution on the point to support them. Hence, when I have lived care in my communication, what I have done is that instead of me wanting something out of the discussion/interaction, I have instead pushed myself to give and share what I could see would be supportive to the other individual.

When it comes to living CARE towards myself, I have looked at listening to and being attentive to the needs I or my human physical body has in a moment. One way that I have practiced caring for myself in a practical tangible way is through for example, when I have found myself in a state of emotion or feeling, to give myself the time, a moment, to slow down, apply self-forgiveness, make a commitment to myself, and let the reaction go. Hence, giving myself that moment to recognize where I am at, how I experience myself, and assess what would be a supportive course of action to ameliorate the experience/state, has been supportive. Especially while at work, I have found resistances towards giving myself this moment of self-introspection, due to believing/experiencing that there is too little time, too much to do, and that I have to push/will myself to continue working, else I will fall behind. Though, this experience is only an illusion, because I only need a moment to stabilize, a couple of minutes, and then, its done, and afterwards, I will be able to continue with what I was doing, however be far more effective than what I would have been if I had just let the experience continue to mull around inside of me.

I will continue to work with this word in the week to come. I want to expand my application more when it comes to practical care, which I see, is connected with my ability to see/hear what would be supportive to others, and then push myself to give that. Usually, practical care when lived in this way, in some way or another, contradicts my own self-interest in the moment, hence, it is a matter of pushing through the resistance towards giving as I would like to receive, and doing it even though I might not get what I want. Though, not getting what I want, does not necessarily mean that will lose or miss out on anything. Caring and being genuinely concerned for the well-being of another, it is has a value and a sense of fulfillment in itself. It is satisfying to do/live unto another as I would like them to do unto me, and it is satisfying to also, care for myself, and give to myself what I know is best for me.

I will return to this topic in future blog posts and share my findings when it comes to living the word CARE.


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Day 432: Success, It Is About Starting

Yesterday I read a great blog on the topic of success called A New Dimension of SUCCESS, in which a cool definition of success was brought forth:

Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something

This definition of success does not target material wealth, the result, rather it is about ACTING – and I find that empowering. I have many times feared walking into new ventures and directions, because I suspected I might not be able to make them successful and worth my effort, and due to this I have stopped myself from having new experiences. And I have also seen how I evaluate past projects on the basis of how much wealth I was able to produce, or time I was able to save, or how much attention I received from others, or how close to my initial goal that I came. The problem with evaluating my projects through such quantitative measurements is that I will miss MYSELF within all of them, and miss that, regardless of the outcome, I actually walked a process, I did something, and if I look closely, I will see that I learned something as well.

Defining success as the actual decision to DO something, that supports growth and movement, it supports courage and direction, it supports creativity and inventiveness – it is a EXPANSIVE definition – where the goal is the PROCESS, the JOURNEY, the DECISION, and not the actual outcome in itself.

However, there is something missing from the definition, and that is the point of OTHERS/EXISTENCE. Because, there is more to this life than myself, and real success is only real when everyone benefits. The principle of what is best for all is a essential component in success, for success to be substantial and worthwhile.

Thus – I would like to change the definition above to the following:

Success is the ACT of moving myself to accomplish a goal/direction/project that benefits/supports life in some way, and it is also my EXPERIENCE of the creation process, and it is what I LEARNED through doing it

With this redefinition of success, what is accentuated is the point of making sure that my direction/project/goal actually brings through some sort of value/support in life – if what I do is harmful/self-interested only based on what I want with no regard for another – its not SUCCESS. Further, with this redefinition, the process of creation is placed in the limelight – what is important thus is the MOVEMENT – to actually do something – to not let it remain on a idea level. Ideas/projects/potentials – they are meant to be EXPLORED and MOVED. Hence – if there is an idea – and I want to bring it through – then next point is to PLAN and then DO – it is as simple as that. And – regardless of the outcome – there will be things I have learned, an experience that I can take with me – and that is SUCCESS as well.

For those interested on further perspectives on SUCCESS I suggest listening to the following interviews:

Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 571

More Dimensions of Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 572

Practically Working with Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 573


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Day 405: Practically Living Care

Today I practiced living the word CARE – and my starting point within it was that I wanted to find practical and concrete ways to live the word. I found a couple of ways to live this word that I had not considered or related to the word care.

The first thing I did was that I, when it was lunch time at work, went to the grocery store and bought some really nice coffee beans, bread, butter and liver pate. Because I really like to ground my own coffee and drink it right away after my lunch – however I tend to procrastinate going to the store and buying the coffee when I have run out of it. However, as an act of care for myself, I decided to go out and buy it as soon as I ran out of it. And because of this I could prepare a nice cup of coffee and drink as an addition to my meal.

As I shared above, I also bought bread, butter and liver pate. I did this because I have for a long time considered having a small storage of light food at work to eat during the afternoons. Usually when I get home from work I am really, really hungry, and hence it was suggested to me to eat a small portion of solid food a couple of hours after lunch. However, I had not, until today that is, realized this idea. For some reason, I had accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate and wait, and now as I write this, I can see within me, that a reason as to why I waited, was because I thought/considered that it was going to get better (by itself) at my next job.

Though, the thing is that my job, my position, will never alter or change WHO I AM at work – that is something that I will change and bring through by my decision and by living it. That is what I did today – so at roughly three o’clock – I prepared a couple of sandwiches for myself and I sat down to eat them. It was great to have some time for myself at the end of my day, to slow down, to restore my blood sugar levels, and to support myself to get through the rest of the day. And when I got home later during the evening – I was not as hungry as I use to be.

So, these might seem as some very simple points – however – for me they were acts of CARE. And I am beginning to see, more and more, that implementing words in my life, in a way that is concrete and practical, begins with changing the small, simple, rudimentary things and parts of my life – such as for example – making sure that I am adequately nurtured throughout my day by having proper access to food.

 


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Day 391: Living COMPLETELY

During this week I have focused my application on the immediate living of words in the moment. When I have had a reaction, I have applied a line of self-forgiveness within me, and then I have immediately proceeded to see what word would be supportive for me to live in order to walk through and transcend the reaction. I allowed myself to be unconditional when I looked at the words, to just see what came up, and thus far a couple of interesting words have arisen that I had not applied/lived before – such as the word COMPLETE. And in this blog I am going to expand upon my understanding and application of the word complete.

This word came up within me one morning as I had just woken up, I was preparing to go to work, and I was noticing how stress was building up within me. The stress was primarily about getting to work in time, accomplishing my work, thinking about what I am going to do later in life in terms of work, thinking about whether or whether not I will be able to live in my current house later in life or not; to sum it up – FUTURE ANXIETY. I applied self-forgiveness and looked at what word that could be lived – and then COMPLETE came up within me.

I proceeded to take COMPLETE – I placed it within me chest – and then practiced immediately embodying the word. I could immediately feel a shift in my body – my stance became more upright, stable, certain, yet still, my muscles relaxed and my posture became more natural and balanced. My awareness shifted into what was HERE around me – I was making coffee for myself – hence – I observed and partook in the process with full presence – which was very cool. Then I realized the power of living the word COMPLETE – and how this is a word we as human beings have been really bad at living.

I realized that when living COMPLETE – meaning – I AM COMPLETE HERE – the notion of running, stressing, racing towards or after something becomes ludicrous and nonsensical – what is there to race after if I am COMPLETE here? Why should I think about, constantly strive towards, and attempt and try to achieve something more than myself, when I am COMPLETE?

I then asked myself, if I would consider my current state of living complete, at least in the sense of material standards, who would I be? Would I still be thinking about what kind of job I would have in the future? Would I still be thinking about where I am going to live in the future? In a way, such considerations and thoughts are immaterial – or put differently – unimportant under the circumstances – and if it would so happen that I would die after having made this cup of coffee – then would I ever regret not having lived in a different house? Surely not. My regrets would rather be about who I was as a person, the relationships I was able to create with people in my life, the value and worth that I was able to contribute into the lives of others, the value and worth that I was able to contribute into the life of my own – that would be of importance – that would be relevant – that would be material – and that thus forms a integral part of living the word COMPLETE.

Because living COMPLETE – means that I am COMPLETELY here – and that I make the most – the FULLEST – in every moment to live myself as a COMPLETE person – complete in the sense that I am not separated – spread thin and wide in my mind – where my attention is scattered between all kinds of irrelevant things/ideas/beliefs/emotions/feelings. Standing as the word COMPLETE is thus a completely different experience in comparison to living life from a starting point of inadequacy and feeling incomplete – which so many of us do. And then we try to find completion in our careers, in partners, in children, in all kinds of external manifestations – while all the time missing the point – the living COMPLETE is a matter of principle – a DECISION – that we do and must stand by – and implement in every moment.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word COMPLETE – as being COMPLETELY here in this moment – being COMPLETELY present – completely directive – completely taking part in my process of self-creation and thus not accepting and allowing myself to be separate – separate from the physical – separate from what is real through having thoughts, images, pictures, fantasies, all kinds of distractions in my mind – take me away from what is real HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that completion is not something that I will be able to attain through my external reality, that it is not something that I will be able to earn as money, or acquire as friends, recognition, power or importance – rather – it is something that I must live and apply in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I will never be able to attain completion – it must be a decision that I make – I must LIVE completion in order to bring it into manifestation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the word COMPLETE – and accept and allow myself to be scattered into a million of small pieces in my mind – hence forgetting that what is real is HERE – forgetting what I knew and could see as a child – that reality is HERE – and that there is in-fact nothing more to attain/achieve – than what is HERE in a moment – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in a linear way of looking at my life – where it is all processes that goes from A to B – and where there is always a movement from A to B – and thinking that I will only ever be able to relax when I get to B – not seeing, realizing and understanding – that COMPLETION is always HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from COMPLETE – thinking that it is a too good a word for me – and that I will never be able to live or stand as complete – because I have not earned it – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must earn living COMPLETE – that it is something that must come into my life after a long process of showing that I have earned it – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is a word – and that I can make a decision to live it HERE

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself longing, looking at, fearing, worrying about, the future in some way or another, where I project a complete version of myself somewhere out there, that I will only be able to attain after a long and arduous process, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring that point of COMPLETION here – and I see, realize and understand – that COMPLETION is a decision that I live and not something that I can wait for – and it is not something that I will get from my external reality – it will be something that I create/manifest/life as a decision – and hence I commit myself to practice living COMPLETE – to bring all of myself HERE into the physical and to stand FULLY and COMPLETELY here – and to use moments of falling to learn and become better at standing as a COMPLETE and FULL version of myself HERE

 


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Day 390: Not Enough Time For Process?

What I have been looking at recently is how to make sure that I am walking and moving myself in my process even though there is not as much time for writing and self-introspection as there used to be. I have found that writing is a superb technique for giving myself a moment to stop, to look, and to establish a direction for myself. However, it is not possible to do this the same way anymore, and hence revolution is required, a new paradigm must be shaped.

One way in which I have been able to incorporate process in my daily living is through applying self-forgiveness out loud every time I am driving by myself. Another way in which I have been able to do it is through applying self-forgiveness within myself each time I have a reaction. The next step as I see it, to support myself to make process even more so, a natural part of my life, by practicing the IMMEDIATE CORRECTION after I have applied self-forgiveness.

Thus far I have experimented with LIVING WORDS as a correction after I have applied self-forgiveness, which is challenging and expansive. After I have had a reaction and applied self-forgiveness, I look within myself to see whether there is a word I am able to embody that would assist and support me to change and align my inner experience. Today when I woke up, within me there was a undefined angst, I forgave the experience and looked within, and here I could see the word COMPLETION. Hence – I immediately went into application living the correction – COMPLETION – which I lived through being completely in my body – each part – being complete in myself – hence allowing myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing more I need and require to chase and achieve – I am complete in my MYSELF here – and this chase and hunt to achieve something more – it is not real.

Hence – even though my life has changed – even though things are different – and there is less time – it does not have to mean that there is less process. Rather – this is an opportunity for myself to push and will myself to really make process part of my entire life – and not accept and allow myself to walk and apply process in but parts of my life.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am able to apply and make process part of all my life – that only because I do not have time to write, or apply self-forgiveness out loud, it does not have to mean that I must hold back in my process of self-creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to establish ways, methods, means of walking process HERE even though there is a time constraint – to see, realize and understand that this is a new challenge – where I will have to establish myself even though I cannot walk process the way I used to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that using the excuse that I cannot walk process because there is not enough time is not valid – because the only that is needed to walk process is me – and I am here in every breath – and thus I can push and will myself to make and have process be part of my everyday life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that process is WHO I AM – that it is thus something that I can walk regardless of circumstances – and hence I push and commit myself to walk process in every moment – to walk process in every breath – to make it part of my every step – and to practice living words as an immediate correction in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need things to complete me – that I need certain things to happen in the future to complete me – that I need a certain life to complete me – that I need a certain security to complete – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider and also to not live the word COMPLETION for and as myself – as something that I do to assist and support myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself waiting for process, or defining process as writing, or as applying self-forgiveness out loud, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that process is HERE – that process is my decision to walk and transcend my mind and change myself as who I am and birth myself as a trustworthy and life-supportive individual – that process is something that I can put into and have in my daily living as a constant point of consideration – where I push myself in every breath to apply and live words; hence I commit myself to each time I have a reaction – to take a moment to apply self-forgiveness – and then find a corrective word that I can live – and then live it

When and as I see that I am waiting to be completed by something outside of me, by a thing, or a person, or a activity, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I will never be able to find and achieve that completion by taking someone or something outside of me into my life – rather completion is a decision – it is WHO I AM – and it is lived in every moment – as a decision to stand COMPLETE – to stand FINISHED – to not be separated into thoughts and experiences – but stand as one in the moment and be fully here; and thus I commit myself to practice the word COMPLETE – through bringing everything here – bringing it all back to myself into the moment – into and as my human physical body – and grounding my presence and awareness HERE


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Day 358: From Dreaming To Self-Creation

There is a big misconception in society. That dreams are meant to be followed and fulfilled, that dreams are something positive that we should have in our lives and that will motivate us to move forward. This is not true. In-fact, dreams most of the time cause a devolution to happen, instead of a evolution. The reasons for this are easy to see. Firstly, dreams are always created/experienced/felt within the mind. Hence, following and valuing dreams automatically causes a rift, where self gets separated from the physical living that is here. And instead of living, interacting, and expanding with what is HERE and REAL – self becomes consumed by the dream – and pursues a direction that is only based on this image.

It is similar to a drug addiction. The addict will be motivated by his urge to consume drugs and he will easily forget his reality in order to fulfill his desires, and according to the addict, what is of primary importance is to realize his addiction. In this state of mind, responsibilities, consideration and care for others as well as self, will be given secondary importance. The consequences of such a behavior is obvious – most of us have seen what drug addiction does to a human being if the addiction is allowed to continue for a prolonged time. And even though the addiction to dreams does not have the same visible and consequential outflows as drug addiction, dreaming still seriously impacts our ability to live effectively and consider the life of others.

However, there is another thing about dreams that is not understood. Dreams are not meant to be followed, in-fact, the function of dreaming is to be a way sign, a way to navigate and look at what is currently amiss within self as a living expression. The solution to dreaming is thus to learn to decode the dreams and see what they are showing about self and in that answer the question, what is missing within self that causes this dream to exist?

An example from my own life would be the following. I dream/desire to get a new power tool that would allow me to perform a new woodworking technique, and hence support me to expand and challenge myself in my hobby of woodworking. Looking at the content of the dream, the words that come through are NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE. Thus, what the dream is showing, is not that that I must have a new power tool. Rather, the dream indicates that I am not practicing living the words NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE in relation to my hobby of woodworking. And looking at my relationship with woodworking, I can see that this is true, and that instead of moving myself to take on new projects, I have accepted and allowed myself to wait, and hold back, believing that with the last project I finished, I was now allowed to feel satisfied with myself and put my woodworking hobby to the side for a moment.

The trick is thus to make the substance and essence of the dreams/desires that come up within us PRACTICAL and LIVABLE here – to make them concrete and put them into action – in such a way that we are able to live what our dreams show us instead of trying to align our reality to the visual content of the dream – because it is NOT about the visuals – it is about OURSELVES and our SELF-EXPRESSION.

To summarize and conclude: We look at the RESONANCE and SUBSTANCE of the dreams – the WORDS that can be read in between the lines – and put those words/expressions into PRACTICAL application in our Daily Living – that is the solution.


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