Tag Archives: loser

Day 310: Reinventing The Wheel

Ever heard of the expression ‘There is no need to reinvent the wheel!’. For those that have not, this expression implies that it is completely unnecessary to come up with ‘your own way’ of approaching and directing a specific point if a solution has already been found – thus also implying that there is no value in coming up within things yourself – the value is instead in the solution itself and the practical outflows that comes from applying that solution.

I want to write a blog about this point because it has recently opened up in relation to my job. Basically, this is what happened: I had been given a task to write a piece on a specific topic. I sat down and started to sketch out how I would approach the point, only to realize that, there were some things off with the topic. I began making my own inquiries, and sat for some hours doing research. After a while I was satisfied, and also proud over myself that I had found that answers I was looking for. In my mind I imagined myself receiving some sort of praise or recognition from my superiors.

Later during the day I approached my boss and showed him what I had been working on. To my surprise he said; ‘Oh yes, that kind of problem, we deal with it like this, you can do the same here’ – whereupon he showed me an existing template of how the problem could be directed. I experienced a sense of disappointment, because I had hoped that my efforts would be rewarded with praise and attention, and now, it seemed that all my work had been in vain. This led me to ask myself the following questions: ‘Why did I not ask for someone’s perspective before I started to dig into this work?’ – ‘How can I avoid repeating this mistake in the future?’ – ‘How come it is that I place receiving attention and praise as a priority over practically getting things done in ways already tested and trialed?’.

In looking at this point I realized that the reason as to why I wanted to reinvent the wheel was because it would make me special, unique, and more in the eyes of others – through it I would be able to differentiate myself as more than. Though, the consequence of this was that I put in several hours into something that was not required, because the wheel was already invented, I could just have asked, and then solved the task within a matter of minutes.

Hence, this stands as a fitting example as to why wanting to be special, unique, new and the first is a limitation – because in that we are not working with COMMON SENSE – but trying to realize a dream/feeling/hope. And this feeling of being special, it is not even real, because physical creation is but that – it is a physical practical creation – and who created what or when – that does not matter to physical creation. For example, does it matter to a house or those living in the house, that the carpenter who built that house came up with and applied a new idea? Most likely no. And further, being special limits us from copying and using what is good and effective in the way others live their life’s – because we do not want to be a copycat. Though, what is wrong with being a copy cat when what is copied works and is of benefit to everyone?

Instead of wanting to be special, what should be the primary focus is to be of utmost value to ourselves and others in our life – and to be that it is not required for us to be unique – however we do need effective living techniques and in the process of establish such we can learn a lot from others. Hence, the solution that I see for myself when it comes to my job is to develop communication, openness, and also, completely let go of the desire to be special, and replace it with the desire to be effective/of benefit to myself and others. To instead of striving to be recognized, strive to do the best work that I can do.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special instead of equal with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more than others and be recognized as special – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss out on myself – where instead of my focus and direction being to create what is best for all – to be of benefit and support to others in my life – my direction becomes about wanting and desiring recognition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire recognition – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and my physical reality in order to achieve recognition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice self-recognition – in the sense that I recognize myself as being of value and a asset to others and myself – and push myself to stand as such a force in my life – where the purpose of myself and my future as such is not to become someone in the eyes of others – but instead to become a trustworthy companion that is able to walk this physical reality and give and share what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to invent something unique and out of this world – to want to do something nobody has ever done before so that I can feel special and good about myself in what I am doing – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let this desire take the drive within me – and want it to push and drive me through my life – in the belief that I require and need this something – to make a mark in my life – to have done something with my life.

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself doing something because I want to be special – something that is not really practical or necessary and where I am trying to reinvent the wheel – I stop myself – I take a breath – and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that in wanting to be special and get recognition I am compromising my effectiveness and my ability to contribute and give to others what is best – and hence I see that there is no practical value in being special – there is no practical value in being unique – and this physical reality does not care about who does what – and hence I commit myself instead practice being of value to myself and others in my world through practical living – where I push myself to take actions that make sense and have results – instead of taking actions in hope of being special.

I commit myself to practice the word simplicity – to embrace simplicity in my life – to embrace simplicity as myself – to see, realize and understand that I do not need to be special in my life – that I do not need to be someone or something to others – that all I need is equality – is to embrace and push me to stand as an equal participant – in that live value – live equality – live contribution – to push myself to be a giving participant that makes a difference through practical – basic – daily actions

Advertisements

Day 302: The Starting Point of Self-Improvement

Self-improvement, a word that holds a positive charge in the current system and usually this word is defined as an individual experience. In-fact, much of our system is based on self-improvement, where each individual strives to improve themselves in some facet or area of their life, and oftentimes, from within and as the starting point of competition. This is what I have seen for myself, looking back at my life, I can see that my drive to improve myself has been competition, and my satisfaction, as to whether I feel that I have been able to accomplish an improvement or not, has been the feedback and positive critique from others, mainly teachers.

It is hence interesting to see that I have come to define my strengths and weaknesses on the premise of whether I have felt that I have been more improved in comparison others, and been successful in achieving notoriety in competition with others. For example in school, the subjects that I pushed myself in, and within which the teachers and my parents gave me positive recognition, that was also the subjects I was able to do better than others, where I could feel like a winner; a process walked solely for my own gain. And when I succeeded to do something better than another, that would signify that I had reached my goal and that I could now be satisfied. As such, I would push a subject until I achieved that point of recognition, then I would let it go. I did not consider, that perhaps, if I just do enough to win, I will never really be able to discover and see my full potential. Because, fact is that in order to achieve real greatness in any given subject, skill or ability, I cannot accept and allow myself to compare and compete – because then I will stop pushing myself the moment I feel that I have won – though perfection is not something that can be reached only because I have won.

And this brings me back to self-improvement, because I want to discuss a new and expanded definition of self-improvement, where self-improvement is not done for self, or at least, not only for self, but rather for the benefit of everyone – and hence – is not limited by winning or losing. As such, the drive to improve is not anymore to succeed against others, the drive to improve is instead to be able to give more. An example would be a carpenter that is pushing his professional skills, and he does that because he sees that as a master carpenter, he will be able to produce better houses that will be more supportive to its inhabitants. As such, his starting point for mastering carpentry is so that he will be able to give back – he does not want to win, or prove himself – he wants to be able to give the best that he can be – to as such enhance this world and make it better. From within that starting point, there is no limitations, because only the carpenter can decide when he has reached his full potential.

Instead of walking self-improvement from a starting point of self-interest, it can be something we do as a way of contributing to what is best for all. Accordingly, we would also celebrate anyone that is able to improve themselves, as opposed to feeling threatened by them, as we would see/understand that when someone improves upon themselves and becomes better, this is something that will impact positively on everyone. Competition thus, should be seen as the way which we spur each-other to improve, though not for the sake of winning, but for the sake of being able to contribute more, to make more of a difference, and to be a part of creating a world that is truly supportive for everyone.

This is the solution I see that I am going to apply in order to stop myself from getting stuck in a state of competition, and in that only take my skills and abilities to the point where I feel like I am winning – I am going to push myself to improve, expand and grow, because I see, that the more I grow as an individual, the more I will be able to give back, and that in turn will impact on this world positively.

Day 78: You Know I Am Right, Right?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to be right, and wanting to seem like I am right, and wanting to present myself as if I am right, in order to feel good about myself, and in order to be able to define, and see myself as special; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as a desire to stand out and to be remarkable in comparison with others, so that I am able to think about myself in my mind that I am remarkable, and that I am more than others

keep-calm-you-know-i-am-rightI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow myself to participate in discussions, and communication with others from within and as a starting point of wanting to win, and wanting to prove myself as being remarkable, and being more than others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I am walking, and participating from within and as a starting point of wanting to become more than, I am in-fact accepting and allowing myself to by implication say that I am less than others, and that I require and need another to affirm me that I am good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as a desire, and a need to get approval from others, and to be noticed by others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, take myself back here, and realize that this search for approval is completely non-sensical – it’s completely stupid – because I am accepting and allowing myself to squander my moments of breath, and my moments of participation here, in being caught in this experience of wanting to become, instead of simply being, and living here, and realizing that I don’t have prove to anyone that I am here – because I am already here within and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as the desire of wanting to be a star, and be noticed as a intelligent, and insightful, and as having the perfect perspective, the perfect knowledge, the perfect understanding – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine, and to think about, and fantasize about what others might think about me, and how others might see me, and how others might consider and define me; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself, and not accept and allow myself to be naturally comfortable with myself – and to be authentic within and as my expression, and direction because I want and desire to get something out of life that is more than me being here and living, and participating here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to become a super-achiever, and to be noticed by others as being a great achiever, as being more than, completely unbeatable, completely unstoppable, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live for the cause of evolving myself, and becoming more than, and improving myself, so that I can feel superior, and better than others, instead of accepting and allowing myself to live HERE within and as breath, and to participate not from a starting point of evolving myself as energy, but instead develop my ability to interact, and live, and participate here without being possessed and controlled by and through thoughts, and feelings, and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to gain recognition as being insightful, knowledgeable, and intelligent; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, and suppress myself as my natural movement, and my natural communication, and my natural discussion here, through wanting and desiring to be something to others – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and bring myself back here – and within this see, realize, and understand that I do not require, and need to be approved, and to gain recognition – I mean: why do I even believe that I would gain some type of satisfaction with actually reaching a state of recognition? There is nothing saying that I would – as such I commit myself to instead find recognition in me learning to recognize what is real and what isn’t – what is physical practical actuality and what is simply irrelevant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest with myself in establishing when and as I am participating in a discussion from within and as a energy of competition as wanting to prove myself, wherein I want and desire to make an impact in order to feel a particular way about myself, and in order to define myself as being more than others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this particular way of being is something that I’ve created because I in-fact feel insecure, and afraid of being rejected, and disposed by others; as I commit myself to stop relying upon others to stabilize myself – but that instead stand up and walk stability unconditionally here within and as breath – through not accepting and allowing myself to give into emotions, and feelings, but that I instead walk here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I have discussions with another, wherein I am not clear, and I do not specifically know what I am doing, and why I am doing it, then this suggests that I am participating from within and as ego, as wanting to create an experience for myself – because common sense dictates that if I am not creating a practical solution, what is it then that I am looking to create? energy possibly? As such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here, and deliberately stop myself from communicating when I see that my starting point is energy and not working towards a solution that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stuck in competition, in believing that my sense of worth is based upon whether others agree with me, or not, and that my self-direction, and self-application is based upon whether others agree with me, or not – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my time searching for others to recognize me, and agree with me, thinking, and believing that this will stabilize me, and that this will develop a certainty within me, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding it’s a completely illusory idea that I will be able to gain something from another; it’s just energy that I experience and it holds not actual substantial worth, and value, because energy will simply go away after a while and then I am here as I was before

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is so, because it feels so, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow feelings to be my guide in life – and to believe that when it feels right, then it must be right; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that obviously it doesn’t have to be that way – that when it feels right, then it must be right – simply because feelings are not aligned with practical physical reality – feelings just come up in a moment – how can I then trust them to actually guide me through life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice walking as my own guide, and practice utilizing common sense when I make decisions, and practice utilizing mathematical assessments when I make decisions, and not just make decisions upon the basis that “I feel like it” – I mean – how can I trust such a point that “I feel like it” – it makes absolutely no sense at all; I mean this is how murderers, and pedophiles think – that apparently because I feel like it – it’s okay, and it’s the right thing to do – not seeing the obvious common sense that a feeling, or a emotion does not show me what is real – what is actual practical reality – it’s just a feeling, and it’s just emotion – and I give value and meaning to these points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and let go of competition, and wanting to be someone for another, and realize that in me letting go of this point, I will be able to interact with others in a much more free, and effortless manner, because I will not hold unto a point of self-interest that I am defending and wanting to bring through – I will instead be here, with and as my physical, and I am in the situation, but there is no desire, nothing I need to protect, but that I am instead able to speak, and communicate and direct the points towards a solution – and not being possessed with wanting things to go my way, and wanting my opinion to win, and wanting my idea to be recognized

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that being empty when communicating, and having no sides to protect, that is the only starting point from within which I’ll be able to be effective, and take into account what is here – and direct what is here towards a solution that is best for all; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice letting go of all desires to achieve as I communicate, and practice communicating HERE with no secret, and hidden agenda, but that I merely speak here – and share myself here – with nothing to hide, and nothing to defend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, and resist letting go of my secret agendas, in the belief that I will loose value, and be able to be “toyed with” when I let go of my secret world that I want to promote and get recognized with others – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that my secret world is simply not relevant – because it’s not even real – because it’s only a mental experience and have no physical practical relevance – as such I commit myself to take a breath and work with what is real and what has real positive impact – which is the point of practical solutions

When and as I see that I go into ego, wanting to be recognized, acknowledged, and seen as I speak, and communicate – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am in this moment accepting and allowing myself to squander a moment of full living through being possessed within and as a one dimensional perspective as a energy of wanting to be recognized, instead of participating here without a desire – without a agenda – simply interacting, moving, and directing myself HERE and not wanting to achieve any form of particular outcome; as such I commit myself to interact, communicate, and be with others unconditionally here – and not have a secret agenda to further my interests when and as I am speaking, and sharing myself with others

When and as I see that I am going into and as a state of feeling that I must convince another to take on my perspective, and think like me, and that I need my opinion to win – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am in this moment suppressing, and limiting myself – placing myself in a one dimensional energy domain in my mind wherein I want to be something unto others instead of me living and participating HERE within and as breath – being effective – specific and disciplined here – and not having a mind experience that I feel I must shove unto others; as such I commit myself to bring myself back here and to walk and participate unconditionally – without a agenda – and to instead share myself here within and as breath as life as oneness and equality here

Enhanced by Zemanta