In my life lately I have had some conflicts related to a contractor and the work that he has done. In summary – he did not do his job properly and I have been trying to come to an agreement with him on how to proceed. It did not work out – and I decided to move on without him. The entire situation has been a learning experience. At first – I viewed everything from my own individual stance. In that sense, it felt like I had been unjustly treated, harmed and that I held a right to be angry, frustrated and resentful towards the contractor. However – I worked with reactions and as I did the point of wanting to see and understand the greater pattern opened up – how this tendency of conflicts between contractors and consumers exists in society at large.
In my line work, I see this problem a lot. There are many problems that can arise when buying cars, houses or when you are building your house and hiring a contractor to do it. Massive faults and errors can occur shortly after the purchase. And oftentimes the only way for the disfavored party to get some money back is to sue or threaten to sue. However the court procedure is awfully ineffective and very expensive. Lawyers cost a lot of money and a good case does not necessarily mean that you are going to win. Hence – you are thrown into a form of casino.
I looked at why this pattern exists and I could see that the contractor is motivated by his own self-interest and fear of survival to take on as much work as possible, even though he is not qualified, and even though he might not have the time or interest to do it properly. The money system as it exist also push the contractor to be dishonest and make sure he or she receives the most amount of money for the least amount of cost/work – which then also create a imbalance towards the consumer that gets lesser quality compared to the value of his money. The consumer on the other exist in the different spectrum. Because of the money system and the survival mechanisms it exists within, the consumer will push the price as much as possible, so that he can get as much value as is possible for the money he puts into the purchase. In that sense, the consumer is equally trying to harm the contractor. It becomes a game of winning and losing – and sometimes you are on the winning side and other times you are on the losing side.
The consequence is that distrust and fear is created between people in the system. Everyone thinks that nobody cares about another – that it is every man for himself – and then they act the same. The fear of survival is a dangerous experience that cause people to act without integrity or humanity. And still we believe that fear of survival and the competition it creates is good for the economy – that it is good for economic growth. Nothing could be farther from the truth. For the average man on the street, this competition creates the world into a casino, where every larger transaction can either become a failure or success.
In a system where money would be ensured this problem would not exist. Imagine having no fear in the world that the contractor would not do his job to the best of his ability – and imagine being reassured that even though something went wrong – you would have plenty of help. In a system of true care and support – the situation that someone is left to their demise would not exist. And such a world is possible. We do not have to be satisfied and content with what is currently here. It is possible to create world that is best for everyone – where the contractor would have no fear of survival and express himself because building is his passion – and where the consumer has no fear of survival and plenty of money to support the contractor to become the best that he can be.
Thus – what I have learned is not to blame or get caught in the individual situations that occur in this world system – because the problem is always much bigger – it is systematic in nature. Looking at things as an individual limits us from seeing what is best for everyone – and from seeing solutions that will benefit everyone. It instead puts us in a state of survival – where we will do everything to win – at all costs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at the system from a individual perspective – and the points that open up in my life as ‘my problems’ and thus react in blame, fear, anxiety, distress, anger, and want to win and fight for my existence – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a step back and view the systematic error – to look at how the problem has been created and what is the actual cause and how it can be changed into a support for everyone – and thus approach things within oneness and equality instead of fear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in blame because of the perceived injustices in my particular case, where I feel like I have not received that which I paid for – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dissatisfied, angry, and resentful, and only see things from my own limited perspective, instead of expanding my perspective, to view everything from a perspective of oneness and equality and what is best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in blame and resentment because I feel like I have not been respected properly, and I have lost the game of the money system, and now I am the loser – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the focus on me personally, to take it personally, to react personally, and forget about the other party, forget about the small situations and decisions that led up to this point, to not look at the system in its entirety and how it is designed to create situations as this one, because it is not built to facilitate mutually beneficial human relations
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards and define the word loser as something bad and negative, and react when I perceive myself as being a loser, thinking that it is something shameful and bad, and that I have to immediately take back the ground lost by attacking and moving myself fast to destroy the opposition so that I can feel like a winner again – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remind myself that winner and loser, these are human concepts, based on the notion of competition and that it is possible to put a value on someone based on the outcome in the competition – however in reality we are all equal in flesh and blood – and we are all of the one and same substance – the dirt of the earth – and thus the idea of a competition and the notion of a winner and a loser is a mind fuck
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not find a solution that benefits everyone – and to even though there has been many ripples, conflicts and emotions, to find a way out that is best for all, a direction that works – and to use this as an opportunity to practice my ability to forgive, to embrace and to let go – because I see, realize and understand, that I can only ever hold something against myself
I commit myself to embrace the world, to embrace the fucked up situation that exists when it comes to contractors and consumers, to embrace and forgive, and move in this world, but not of this world – and to find solutions that works and that brings through the respect for life that is equal in everyone – and thus I commit myself to stop taking things personally – to forgive and let go – and instead build on solutions that are best for all
I commit myself to make decisions in stability – to not accept and allow myself to become worked up and haste – but to slow down and to find solutions and ways to go about the situation that is effective and that creates a mutually effective outcome that is best for everyone involved
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