What is my compass? My direction? My meaning in life? Why am I here?
I was asked this question and it was difficult for me to answer it. For a long time my purpose has been to walk my process of self-change – to learn to express and share myself to my fullest. And this is still true. If it is one thing I know, it is that I really want to walk my process and do that properly. Yet still, my mind is pulling me in many other directions, and one of the more alluring paths is the path of money and consumerism.
It is easy to fall into the money trap – when you have money you fall because you want more and when you have none you fall because you cannot think of anything else. And then we become blinded to what is here before us – and blinded to what matters – because all we can think of and care about is money.
For me, this drive and urge to be successful with money stems from comparison and from looking at what others do and how others live their lives. It was easier when I was younger to see and know my path because I was not as involved in the money system – I had made a decision to be an outsider and enjoy life without caring too much about it. Now I have stepped into the system and I am part of it everyday – and when I see the life of others, it influences me – or rather – I allow it to influence me.
I want to reach a point within me where I am in this world but not of it – where I can walk into the money system and earn the money I need to survive without becoming engrossed with it and compromised in my integrity. That is hard to do – and to support me I need a purpose/clarity/direction in relation to who I am and what I am really doing in the system – that can function as my compass – my map when things get blurred.
What is my compass in relation to money and the world system? The way I see it – I participate with money in order to support myself to walk my process – I need a stable environment – I need a stable world – that allows for me to focus on myself and utilize the tools of self-creation – that gives me time to write, time to introspect, time to read, and time to share my process of self-creation with others. Money supports my process.
I also participate in the world system to share myself and my expression and to give of my skills and talents to others – to share myself with the world. This is some of the most rewarding and enjoyable aspects of working – when I see I can make a difference in the lives of others.
I also participate in the money system to be able to give those closest to me a supportive, stable and enjoyable life. And to give money to organizations and groups that I believe will make a difference in this world that is best for all. Such groups need donations to flourish – and if everyone would have given some of their money to those that are in need – we would have a very, very different world.
That is my reason and compass at the moment that I will use and look back at when things get hectic and I forget what is real and what is not – and my mind starts shifting into consuming, buying and forging a lifestyle out of comparison and jealousy.
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