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Day 384: Expansion and Opportunity

Expansion and opportunity – for me these are words connected with movement, the future, dreaming, challenges, distant countries and places and discovering things. I tend to look at expansion and opportunity as a point that is not yet here – however it could be here if I just participate in that thought, vision, imagination and idea of the future – then my life could be filled with expansion and opportunity.

The consequence of this kind of thinking is that everyday life lacks expansion and opportunity – because these experiences/words are projected into the future/mind. Instead of having my focus HERE and spotting where there is room for expansion and where there are opportunities opening up – I am wandering in my mind looking at the illusions of opportunities presented.

However – the thing with the mind is that it never gets real. And when we are able to realize our dreams and imaginations it is never the way we imagined it – and that is because the mind is not designed to be a guide to reality – it is designed to be a trap – a place where we forget ourselves and our lives to be entertained by pictures, feelings and emotions.

I used to go online and search for and read about online courses. Sometimes I would apply and get admitted – though usually I would remain at the level of only reading. I realized that this behavior was an addiction. I was addicted to the energy of imagining myself learning and expanding in a new education. It was not about actual expansion, it was about the idea of expansion. Real expansion happens in a real time moment. It happens here. Thus what I have started to do is to move this energy of expansion into my physical life here. When this desire to imagine comes up within me, I move myself back here, and look at how I am able to expand what I am doing right here, and right now. And regardless of where I am, or what I am doing, there is always something to expand upon.

For example, cooking, it is something that I do many times a day. Usually I have not given it much thought or energy – I just go through the motions and try to achieve a meal that is good enough to be eaten. Though I realized that the time I spend cooking is a moment that I can use to expand. I am able to improve on my cooking skills. I can learn to chop vegetables better, I can learn more about the nutritional value of the ingredients and how they effect my body. There is a ton of dimensions to cooking that I have not yet developed a relationship with. Hence – I started to expand this relationship. I started living expansion for real in my relationship with cooking – and that was a big difference.

Thus, it is easy to through the mind create an experience of expansion, or dream about expansion. That feeling will never get real. To have expansion in your life as a reality – you have to push yourself to make something more out of the daily and recurring events in your life.


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Day 363: Self-Expansion, What is it?

Self-expansion, what does that mean? How are we able to live self-expansion in our lives in a practical, concrete and simple way?

These are questions that I will be walking for the coming week, as I will delve into and practice making the SELF-EXPANSION part of my daily life. Thus far I have seen that living self-expansion in a moment can be about making a decision to walk a different path than what I have done before. This point opened up to me as I was talking to my partner. I could sense that our discussion was moving towards subjects that we usually disagree on, and that a part of me was already preparing and bracing for a coming conflict. In that moment, I decided to change my approach. I decided to not participate in the discussion from a starting point of conflict, but instead look at how I could expand myself as well as my partner through the way I was communicating and sharing myself. I could see that there were many points of potential expansion hidden behind the veil of emotion that a conflict situation usually brings about. Hence I pushed myself to open up and communicate about those points of expansion which I could and it changed how I experienced myself – and instead of having a conflict that would harm both me and my partner – I was able to expand.

Hence, what I am able to see thus far about the word SELF-EXPANSION is that it is ALWAYS here, and the situations/circumstances/parts of our lives that contain most of these self-expansion opportunities are those where we have accepted some form of emotional or feeling possession to take control. In those moments, when we notice that an emotion or feeling is on the rise, a supportive correction is to stop up and instead ask: ‘How am I able to EXPAND in this moment?’ – and then actively look for ways in which to change the direction of the moment, from walking the normal, trite sequence of events, that we know all to well where they will lead us – to instead deciding upon a new path for ourselves.

I find that self-expansion is similar to what Neo faced in first movie in The Matrix trilogy, where Neo initially wanted to bail, and Trinity said the following to him: ‘Because you have been down there, Neo. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends. And I know that’s not where you want to be.’ The same is true with the decision we make in the moment to expand ourselves, because we do have a choice, to either go down the same path that we have done before, and we know where it ends, and that we are never satisfied with the results it brings, OR – to make a decision to create something NEW – to deliberately MOVE ourselves into SELF-EXPANSION.

In the dictionary – Expand is defined as:

Become or make larger or more extensive

If we then add SELF before expansion – this adds up to SELF in a moment becoming larger or more extensive – and obviously it is not about body mass. It is about enlarging and expanding our own stand – allowing ourselves to become MORE than what we have been – to expand and guide and move ourselves to be able to live in a way that is BEST.


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Day 356: Creating Time, or Chasing Time

There is time, and then there is the perception of time. Usually, the latter will be emotionally charged in some way – for example – with stress. Problems arise when we define our relationship with time through the perception of time, instead of seeing time exactly for what it is. Recently, I have started to look into and challenge my own perception of time – and I have seen a couple of interesting things.

First point: When I am on my way to work, or when I am at work as well, sometimes I get an urge to listen to some music, read a little bit in a newspaper, chat with a colleague, or do something that is not ‘productive’ in the sense that it does not relate to my work responsibilities. In such moments, I have noticed how I put myself off, through reasoning with myself that I do not have enough time. For example, I will not take up my phone and listen to music, because I think that the process of grabbing my phone, plugging in my headphones, and finding a song, will take too much time. Or, I will not stop to chat with a colleague, because I believe that I am then wasting my time, missing moments that I could have applied to get things done in my work. Hence, I will not give myself that small moment of pleasure and believe that I am through being strict with myself in this way save a lot of time.

Second point: My workload can be divided into two categories. Either it is work that have been planned since some time back, that I am able to foresee, or it is work that comes at a moments notice, that must take priority and get done before any of the planned work. Obviously, the unplanned parts of my work then ripples into the planned parts of my work, and disrupts the latter. Each time this happens, I have become tense, stressed, and anxious, that I will now not have enough time to complete the planned parts of my work. The thought comes up within that I do not have enough time! What I have done to solve this point is to start cutting corners, and obviously that is not supportive.

Now, here the turnaround. Lately I have begun to experiment with changing my relationship to time. To for example, give myself a moment to talk with my colleague, or listen to that song, or enjoy and push myself to walk through the unplanned parts of my work with diligence and detail. I have realized an interesting through doing this: TIME is usually not an issue! Yes, it is fascinating. I have found that usually, even though I give myself these moments, there will be sufficient with time for me left to get done what is needed to get done.

This goes to show two points: Firstly, we cannot trust our perception of time – that is to say our emotional relationship to time – because that is not a clear relationship and does not give us a true representation of time. Secondly, we actually use our time more effectively, and we are more productive, when we are not constantly chasing time, trying to save time, and make sure that we have the time that we need. Because if we do that, we will create imbalance, and that will in turn lead to us not being as focused, and as deeply committed and present to what we are doing HERE as we would be otherwise.

Thus, in giving ourselves time to ‘smell the roses’ of life – we are actually supporting ourselves to be a lot more effective in our day to day living – really – when we GIVE ourselves time – suddenly we have MORE time – is not that interesting? And when we chase time, we feel as if we have less time. It is all about perspective, where we can either approach our reality with a lack-perspective, and thus also create that lack – or we can approach our reality with a clear starting point where we USE our time to CREATE and GIVE ourselves and others moments of SUPPORT, ASSISTANCE and ENJOYMENT.

I find it very fascinating to see how the creation process of our daily living is so connected with WHO WE ARE on a beingness level.


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Day 332: Facing The Dark With A Smile

Relationships, often portrayed with positive words such as love, appreciate, protect, secure, adore, etc., however, the truth of a relationship is something different. In Sweden, my country of birth, the divorce rate is at 50-55 % in relation to the amount of people getting married, and the median marriage lasts for 10 years. From those numbers it is not a big leap to say that the portrayed image of relationships is not wholly accurate. And expressed coarsely, the image broadcasted of relationships is outright deceptive. Without a doubt, the major part of any relationship consists of conflicts, misunderstandings, compromises, emotions, competition, and all other forms of dysfunctional human behavior that we all inherit and learn as we come of age. That is not strange considering that we always bring our baggage as we enter into a new relationship, it is thus, impossible to create a lovely and peaceful paradise on this earth – UNLESS – we have created OURSELVES as that in our individual capacity.

There is though ways to deal with the ‘human element’ that we unfortunately bring with us as we enter into a new relationship. In this blog I am going discuss one important tool to use in the creation of a comfortable and supportive relationship – HUMOR – or – the ability to be CAREFREE in the face of adversity. This point opened recently for me as I have noticed a tendency that I have to take things very seriously. For example, I will have a discussion with my partner that then becomes more of a intense disagreement, where emotions arise within me. Instead of looking at the reason for the conflict, and why I reacted, and how to solve it, so that I do not need to walk through the same conflict situation again – what I have done is that I have focused on the idea that it is WRONG to have conflicts/arguments. And instead of expanding myself, approaching conflicts from this judgmental vantage point results in suppression of what is really going on within me.

Suppression is and has been the modus operandi of us human beings when it comes to dealing with difficult shit since ages back, and it is so clearly visible in our society. What is prison, punishment, and social exclusion but a suppression mechanism, where we remove the ‘bad’ and ‘unwanted’ dimensions of our communal experience and put it away, far away and hidden from our immediate sight, instead of looking at WHY, and HOW it happened, and what SOLUTION there is to deal with the problem once and for all? The technique of suppression is also readily applied in parenting. When children cry, or behave ‘badly’, we look at ways to suppress the behavior, either through rewards, such as praising, or sweets, or through punishments, and consequences, though seldom, we look at the cause and origin of the troublesome behavior – and hence we miss out on the opportunity to create a sustainable and long-term solution.

The question to ask ourselves is thus, WHY do we have such a difficult time in looking at the DARK, MALEFICENT, HORRIBLE, and UNWANTED within ourselves, our relationships, and society? From what I have already touched upon above, one of the reasons for this is because we JUDGE it, we are too uptight about it, we take it personally, react to it, believe it is something bad, and that we must just, immediately, without further consideration, put it away – far away.

Hence, getting back to relationships, what is then the solution for this way of looking at the dark within ourselves? How can we assist and support ourselves to ease up and be less serious about the shit that is going on both within and without? The way forward as I see it is HUMOR – because it has the property of taking the edge of things, to make things seem silly, and remove that big, heavy reaction of something being sooo BAD. And here, I am not saying that humor should be the end point, because obviously, we have to learn from our mistakes, reflect and look at them, in order to move forward – however – if we look at our mistakes in a state of reaction – our focus will become misplaced. Instead of unconditionally looking at ways to improve, our focal point will be on determining how bad we have been, and how we must now punish ourselves, to apparently through that, motivate ourselves to not be bad again. Though, it is not important to determine how bad, and wrong we have been, that which is of real substantial value is to find a lasting, sustainable solution for the future, so that we are able to prevent further consequences.

HUMOR sounds like YOU-MORE – because through humor we are able to get back to that CAREFREE state of looking at things unconditionally – and thus we are able to SEE more of ourselves – see the reality of things – because humor disarms, it cuts through the defenses, and it allows us to get a glimpse of what is actually going on, which then puts us in a position to implement changes.

Hence, conflicts, disagreements, and in general, shit that happens in a relationship, a way to disarm the seriousness of it all is through HUMOR – through seeing the stupid shit that we do and that it is many times totally insane – how can we fight and argue about such pointless things and believe that it is absolutely a matter of life and death to get our version of the story heard? It is insane, and that is what makes it so HILARIOUS. Humor, hence, is an important tool in the creation of a effective relationship with our partner, and ourselves.

And how to then practically apply humor in a moment? Well, let us say that we are in a situation where I am having a disagreement with my partner about whether or whether not to tidy up after myself when I have used the kitchen, where I will then go to great lengths to explain, and win my partner over, to my way of dealing with the kitchen, where apparently my way of doing things is of great practical value. Instead, I could in that moment see how ridiculous it is that I am standing here, talking about such a absolutely insignificant thing as to how to clean the kitchen, defending my way of doing things with all I got, when it really has no value or importance to me at all.

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Day 302: The Starting Point of Self-Improvement

Self-improvement, a word that holds a positive charge in the current system and usually this word is defined as an individual experience. In-fact, much of our system is based on self-improvement, where each individual strives to improve themselves in some facet or area of their life, and oftentimes, from within and as the starting point of competition. This is what I have seen for myself, looking back at my life, I can see that my drive to improve myself has been competition, and my satisfaction, as to whether I feel that I have been able to accomplish an improvement or not, has been the feedback and positive critique from others, mainly teachers.

It is hence interesting to see that I have come to define my strengths and weaknesses on the premise of whether I have felt that I have been more improved in comparison others, and been successful in achieving notoriety in competition with others. For example in school, the subjects that I pushed myself in, and within which the teachers and my parents gave me positive recognition, that was also the subjects I was able to do better than others, where I could feel like a winner; a process walked solely for my own gain. And when I succeeded to do something better than another, that would signify that I had reached my goal and that I could now be satisfied. As such, I would push a subject until I achieved that point of recognition, then I would let it go. I did not consider, that perhaps, if I just do enough to win, I will never really be able to discover and see my full potential. Because, fact is that in order to achieve real greatness in any given subject, skill or ability, I cannot accept and allow myself to compare and compete – because then I will stop pushing myself the moment I feel that I have won – though perfection is not something that can be reached only because I have won.

And this brings me back to self-improvement, because I want to discuss a new and expanded definition of self-improvement, where self-improvement is not done for self, or at least, not only for self, but rather for the benefit of everyone – and hence – is not limited by winning or losing. As such, the drive to improve is not anymore to succeed against others, the drive to improve is instead to be able to give more. An example would be a carpenter that is pushing his professional skills, and he does that because he sees that as a master carpenter, he will be able to produce better houses that will be more supportive to its inhabitants. As such, his starting point for mastering carpentry is so that he will be able to give back – he does not want to win, or prove himself – he wants to be able to give the best that he can be – to as such enhance this world and make it better. From within that starting point, there is no limitations, because only the carpenter can decide when he has reached his full potential.

Instead of walking self-improvement from a starting point of self-interest, it can be something we do as a way of contributing to what is best for all. Accordingly, we would also celebrate anyone that is able to improve themselves, as opposed to feeling threatened by them, as we would see/understand that when someone improves upon themselves and becomes better, this is something that will impact positively on everyone. Competition thus, should be seen as the way which we spur each-other to improve, though not for the sake of winning, but for the sake of being able to contribute more, to make more of a difference, and to be a part of creating a world that is truly supportive for everyone.

This is the solution I see that I am going to apply in order to stop myself from getting stuck in a state of competition, and in that only take my skills and abilities to the point where I feel like I am winning – I am going to push myself to improve, expand and grow, because I see, that the more I grow as an individual, the more I will be able to give back, and that in turn will impact on this world positively.

Day 283: I Do More Than You!

Living on a farm implies taking care of stuff, and if you live on a farm that accommodates animals, taking care of stuff, implies taking care of animals. This is that situation that I am in at the moment, living on a farm with animals, and having responsibilities to tend to the animals.

However, in my situation there are some unusual variables to take into account. The animals, chickens in this case, are not legally ‘owned’ by me and another person has the more dominant, ‘ownership’ role in relation to the chickens. My responsibility to tend to the chickens was initially someone else’s idea, and the plan was that two persons were to clean the chicken coupe each weekend. These variables are important to consider, as they are an important of the reactions that have come up within me in relation to this responsibility.

So, as for the reactions, I have had thought of seeing myself as being jailed and used as a chicken caretaker, because recently, due to various reasons, I have had to clean the chicken coupe by myself, and still, I do not feel as if I am given any influence and power of the chickens as a ‘owner’ – and hence the backchat have come up: ‘I am the one doing all the work, yet I get nothing in return, people are just using me, I should not stand for this!’ – ‘I do not get anything out of this, why should I have to care for the chickens?’. Now, the emotional experience is unfairness, and resentment, and on a deeper level, it is all blame.

However, as I have walked this point, and become aware of these reactions, I have started to question this unfairness, and the concept of ‘ownership’ and ‘control’ – and why there must be an aspect of remuneration involved for something to feel as if it is ‘worth it’. As children, we were part of numerous projects, and responsibilities, yet seldom was there are sense of having to claim ownership and gain a form of reward because of our participation. It was a lot more natural to give, and receive, without thinking about who is getting more, who is gaining, who is loosing, etc.

I looked at the point today, and I realized that there are many people benefitting from the chickens that I care for. This benefit has no monetary implications for me; there are no rewards, though I can see, that what I do gives people nourishing and healthy eggs. Further, I take pressure of the actual owner of the chickens, as she does not have to give as much time and energy into caring for them. Moreover, it is actually supportive for me on a physical level to be outside, breathe some fresh air, and move my physical body around.

Hence, what I can see is that there are many positive effects flowing from my participation. And the experience I have of unfairness, well, it is just that, an experience, and it has no physical standing – because what does unfair really mean? That it feels as if everything is not equal for everyone? Why should it be exactly the same for everyone? We all have different schedules, different preferences, and different lives; hence, it is obvious that all things cannot be exactly the same for everyone.

Instead of looking at the experience of unfairness, what I should instead look at is physical, practical, cons that flow from this current setup. And here I can only see one, that I loose time. But time is something I do have, and caring for the chickens’ causes no buildup of pressure, and time constraint in my life – I have the opportunity to clean the chicken coupe without detrimental effects. And that means, that the only negative of this setup, is that it feels unfair, and as if I am being used – there is actually no real physical con.

This is a cool example of how something that feels like a big problem, in reality is no problem – and how it is easy to be fooled by the emotions of the mind when making decisions – believing that only because there is a emotion coming up, and this emotion is very intense, that it must mean that what the emotion is conveying is correct. A rule of thumb should thus be to wait with making any decisions until all emotions have been cleared – and the real, physical pros and cons of the decision have been established.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am facing a conflict within me, to place my focus on what I feel, instead of looking at the practical pros and cons of the situation, to look at what is a problem here in this physical reality, and not on what I feel is a problem in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that unfairness, and something not being just, are not acceptable reasons for deciding to not do something, because unfairness and injustice, both of these points are mental, meaning that they exist separately from this physical reality, and have no connection to what is needed, and what is best on a physical level – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain in the physical through looking at the physical pros and cons of a particular decision that I am facing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that it is unfair that I have to clean the chicken coupe even though I do not own the chickens, and I do not get to take part of all the perks of being the owner of the chickens, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loose myself in the idea/experience of ownership, and control, and make that point more relevant, and prevalent in my mind, than looking at what the actual benefits are of my participation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with and as backchat of how I feel that I am being used for the benefit of someone else, and that I am not getting to, or receiving all the perks that I see/feel someone else is, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my focus and attention on this point of unfairness, and enlarge it in my mind, to such an extent that I cannot anymore see the benefits flowing from the point, and where it is all about how I feel that it is unfair, how I feel that it is not equal, and that it is not good, and that it should be different

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be content with assisting and supporting a point in my life because I see that it is of benefit to others, and understanding that I do not need some form of leadership position, I do not need some form of special position, I do not need all the perks, what I require is that the physical pros of a point exceeds the cons, because when that is the case, it is best for all the apply myself in relation to the point, and when something is best for all, that is all the reason I need to get going

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that the solution is, to instead of thinking about, looking at whether the point is fair or not, to look at whether the point is best for all or not, because when a point is best for all, benefitting me as well as others, well, then there is no reason why I shouldn’t push myself and walk the point, and then it doesn’t matter who is in charge, who owns what, and what is where, because the point I am participating within will have a positive outflow effect unto others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is what it means to participate and live this life without ego, to be able to walk in this world and look at all points from a starting point of seeing whether it is best for all or not, and acting according to that, hence, not looking at points from within the question: ‘Does this serve me?’ – or – ‘Is this fair/just?’ – rather from the question: ‘Does this point support life’? – and if it does – there is sufficient reason to walk the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this not see, realize and understand, that when unfairness comes up within me, it is an indication that I have not yet established clearly my starting point, and that I have not yet looked at, considered whether the point that is before me is best for all, and whether there is as such a benefit in my walking/taking the point on – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not broaden my view, and way of looking at my life, and the points I participate within, to ask myself, is this best for all, does this support life, and is this supportive for me? And on the basis of the answer I receive on this question – ACT and move myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am reacting in a emotion of unfairness, resentment, and feeling that something is unjust, because I have to help with something, or do more than another, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this unfairness exists within me because I have not yet established how I am in relation to the point that I am facing, I have not yet discerned where I stand, and thus I commit myself to ask, what the pros and cons of the point are, and if the pros outweigh the cons, to then make the decision to participate in the point, and do so unconditionally, because I see that it is best for all – and in this understand that unfairness is a limited concept not taking into account that what is best for all does not need to be fair or just

When and as I see that am reacting in a emotion of unfairness, resentment, and feeling like I have to do more than another, while it is another that gets the most out of it, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this experience is mental, that it is a concept based on a mental picture of my life, and not on the actual physical practicalities of my life, and thus I commit myself to bring myself back to what is practical, through asking myself: ‘Okay, what are the pros and cons of this point?’ – and within this look at whether the point is best for all – and in this I commit myself – to if the point is what is best for all – and I have the possibility to walk the point – to do it – and walk it unconditionally with no ego – instead understanding that I am contributing to what is best for all and within that need fairness, justice, or sameness is required

Day 220: Changing the Starting Point of Purpose

In my process of creating a purpose for myself in this life, I’ve noticed one quite interesting point – it’s that the point of purpose has become monetized – so immediately as I think about or consider my purpose, this will be followed with thoughts, and experiences of how I can further myself in my career, or create more money for myself – thus the purpose in essence being something that I’m doing only for myself – and more precisely – for money.

It’s thus fascinating to see, that what comes up within me when considering giving myself purpose, giving myself direction, and a objective that is greater than me, is that I only tend to care about MYSELF – the consideration only stretches as far as me look at what I would feel good doing, what I would be able to use to get a greater and more lucrative career. Though, there is a quite obvious problem with this starting point in relation to purpose = it won’t ever create any form of change in this world – it’ll only ever create my life to be slightly better, slightly more enjoyable, and with more finances to it – but that shouldn’t be the point of purpose!

The word PURPOSE implies something more than me only looking at myself, my life, my preferences, hopes, and desires – it implies looking at others as well, looking at life, looking at the world – looking at where it is that I can contribute, where I would be able to place myself that would have an effect – an actual effect in the lives of others, where their lives would become measurably enhanced by the point that I am walking and placing into creation.

Yet in my process of selecting a purpose of myself, the one greatest point that has stood in my way has probably been that of wanting, and desiring to find an extravagant purpose – something extremely great, something totally enjoyable, something that I just KNOW is what I’m supposed to do and create for myself in this lifetime – though – creating and finding a purpose is not about something OUT THERE – a purpose can exist even in the smallest of points – it’s important to not THINK something up – rather what I require to look at myself, my life, and see what is and has been significant to me personally – NO MATTER how small or simple it may seem.

For me, this has been quite difficult, because the purpose I’ve seen for myself has been one of these small and apparently insignificant points – one of those very personal aspects of life that many probably wouldn’t consider as having any impact or value whatsoever – and due to me having an idea of what purpose SHOULD be – and also relating purpose to MONEY and INCOME – my process of finding a direction for myself became convoluted, complex and filled with labyrinthine paths stretching from here to there – yet never really coming to a conclusion HERE. This also a fascinating point – that we believe that to change the world, and stand by a greater purpose – we’ve to become some form of a revolutionary, and daring activist, with this enormous, massive and flaunting purpose – whereas the reality of the situation is that we might be able to contribute the most through for example sharing with the world, how we’re able to live self-discipline and self-motivation effectively – meaning showing and giving to others how to improve on one small aspect of life, living and self-creation.

So, what I’ve seen is that in order to really find YOUR purpose, or in this case MY purpose – there can’t be any comparison, there can’t be any money-issues involved, there can’t be ideas of what the purpose should be like, because then the point of having a purpose is missed – then purpose instead of being an expression of myself, becomes a point of showing off and trying to display a picture to others of how cool, interesting, and fascinating my life is – and that is not the point – the point is to share myself with the world, share a point of myself that I’ve walked, and give that to others, seeing that it will contribute to their lives, that it will enhance their lives, that it will give something to them that they are able to use for the rest of their existence.

Thus purpose is not something you LOOK for OUT THERE – you have to LOOK INSIDE, yourself, your life to SEE it – PURPOSE must be something personal that you can stand by for yourself and even if for example Desteni wouldn’t be here – a point where you can source from the principle / process of Desteni but where you stand in and as a way where it still supports others in such a significant way as it did with you

Concluding – purpose is not about success, purpose is not about self-importance, purpose is not about becoming noticed, purpose is not about becoming seen by others, purpose is not about becoming special, purpose is not about money, purpose is not about fame, purpose is not about looking outside of yourself – purpose is an act of SELF-INTIMACY – it’s an act of SELF-KNOWING – seeing WHO I am – and WHAT I’ve lived – and WHY I’ve lived – and WHAT of my existence, life, expression that is personal to me – that I can voice and share with others – and in that stand as an example of how you create, change, improve and update your life – similar to the way I’ve done with the particular point that I’m walking.

Thus – finding/seeing purpose is actually very simple – because it involves recognizing the value a point that’s always been here – though as many do know – often what is the most glaringly obvious is also the point we’ve got the most difficulty to see – maybe because we’ve simply gotten used to it?

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become uncertain and doubtful of my purpose through looking out there, and comparing myself with others, and trying to attain and create a purpose for myself that I define and see to be extravagant, great, and formidable, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loose touch with myself, with the simplicity of breath, the simplicity of being here with and as my human physical body, and in self-intimacy seeing what I’m able to bring to this world, to show and extend to others as a gift that I’ve created for myself and that I’m now able to show others how to create, build and implement into their lifestyles

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate purpose with creating something great, magnificent, and fantastic – and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself for granted, to take my skills, my process that I’ve walked, and my life in this world for granted, and believe that it’s not worth enough, it’s not worthwhile, it’s not good enough, and that I apparently require and need to keep looking, to keep investigating, to find that apparent great, fulfilling, and complete purpose of myself – instead of recognizing and seeing myself – and accepting and allowing myself to move, create and walk what is already HERE – what I’ve already done and seen in my life that I’m now able to gift to others as I’ve gifted to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself for granted, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, and participate within and as an idea that I require to bring something more to the table, something better, something more extravagant, something deeper, with more impact, with more power to it, with more worth to it, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the problem I’ve had – is that I’ve not been willing to recognize the value and worth in myself and the life I’ve walked thus far – and thus I commit myself to recognize and value myself – the process of walked thus far – to see the greatness of what I’ve been able to create for myself that could really make a difference in the life of others – and thus stop trying to make something more out of myself in the belief that I’m not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make something more, better, and greater out of myself and my life – in the belief that it’s not enough – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge simplicity, to judge the small aspects, and skills that I’ve been able to walk, and create for myself – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason I’ve had a difficulty to see what I can gift to the world, is because I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to recognize my value, to recognize my skills, to recognize what I’m able to gift, to recognize what are my strengths, what are my potentials, and what I’m able to walk and stand as an example of and as in this life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself into a time-loop and mind-fuck through thinking about what should be me purpose, through judging the purpose I initially selected and defined for myself as not being sufficient, and not being enough – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this time-loop I’ve dragged myself into is in-fact indicatory of my approach to myself and life in general, which is that I don’t accept and allow myself to value and recognize the small, to value and recognize myself and who I am – and what I’ve walked and created within and as my lifetime

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what I’m facing within is the consequences of judging myself as not being good enough – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how this a pattern that is present in many areas and aspects of my life – that comes through in me constantly wanting, and desiring to something more, something different, something better – instead of recognizing myself HERE – what it is that I’m already walking and applying myself within and as – and thus developing the points I’ve already committed myself to walk – and recognizing the value, and worth of those points that I’ve committed myself to walk

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to value and recognize myself, the life I’ve walked, the processes I’ve walked, that skills and abilities that I’ve developed, and the gifts that I’ve given to myself – to recognize these points and realize that this is what I can gift to the world – and that it doesn’t have to be a magnificent, powerful and apparently great purpose that I give to myself – it must be something that I’ve lived and walked personally that I can share with others and gift to others – and stand as an example of and as in the lives of others

When and as I see that I’m going into doubt, and uncertainty with regards to the purpose I’ve selected for myself in this lifetime, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this doubt and fear that comes up within me is in-fact originating from within and as me not accepting and allowing myself to value and recognize myself – and thus I commit myself to as self-correction – state within me that I value and recognize what I’ve walked for myself – and the importance of standing with and as the purpose I’ve selected for myself – because I see the difference that it’s made to my life – and thus I understand what difference it can do in the life of others – and thus I see it as my responsibility to gift that point to others – and stand as an example of that point in the lives of others