Tag Archives: movement

Day 420: Last-Chance-U

I have been watching a Netflix series called Last-Chance-U for a couple of a weeks now, and wow, what an awesome show. The series, which is a documentary, follows various persons involved in the junior college football team Mississippi East, and the Mississippi East community college. Its a wide range of personalities, from apathetic teenagers seeking a better life, to those seeking fame and fortune and hope to reach the NFL, to the trainers and coaches, some of whom, lives and breathes football.

Not only is the show really good, in the sense that it documents, and follows the involved participants without trying to impose upon them any kind of moral or ethics, or ‘make a point’ – it also gives a very interesting view into the human psyche. And since watching the series I have utilized the insights I gained through the show to reflect it back on myself.

There is especially one point that is prominent and general throughout the series, and that is how much all the involved persons rely on emotions to move themselves. The coaching of the players is built around the philosophy that you ‘have to be hard, else the players go slack, and they will not push themselves to their fullest’. Hence, the coaches, on many occasions, will scream, shout, attack personally, call out players, telling them they are bad, they are not doing right, they do not understand, and that they will ‘removed from the team unless they get their shit together’. It is quite clear that the intention of this approach is to generate a emotional response, and the idea behind it, is that this will then stimulate the players to do better.

Many of the players also have academic difficulties. And one of the more common problems is lack of movement. Few have the discipline and commitment required to sit down and study for longer periods of time. And hence, what many players tends to do, is that they wait, until consequences start emerging, then they will react in a emotional response of fear, and start moving themselves. Only when a emotion arise do they move themselves, thus similar to how the coaches rely on instigating emotions in their players to generate movement.

Thus, the idea that we need emotions to move ourselves, that is the general theme I picked up on. Though why do we believe that? Through my own process, what I have learned is that emotions, sure they can motivate me to move, however, the movement will seldom be as effective as it could have been, mostly because emotional movement lacks rationale and is not logically sound. It is just a movement, intense at best, however, as the emotion fades away, so does the movement, and then, another crisis or difficult experience is required to generate the next batch of emotions to fuel movement. And obviously, life becomes stressful and pressured, because movement goes from crisis to release, from crisis to release, from crisis to release, over and over again – WHEN – instead movement could be achieved through a DECISION.

Yes, it can be that simple. All we require is a decision. For example, to decide, that I will commit myself to study intently, with dedication and focus, until I am able to graduate from this school. There is no emotion required to make such a decision. There is no emotion required to see what is best for us, what makes sense, what is COMMON SENSE, and then to act upon it. All we need is our reasoning skills, and our body, and the rest, well that is up to us – if we will actually do it or not.

This is called SELF-MOVEMENT and when people realize how it works, it will undoubtedly revolutionize sports as well as our education. Because, we really do not need to invoke that deep passion for winning or the fear of losing within us, in order to do our best, and in order to perform outstandingly, all we need is ourselves.


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Day 419: Natural Movement

Living close to my mother now for about two years has been challenging, however also, very, very revealing, in the sense that I have learned SO much about myself from observing my mother, and then bringing it back to me. It is fascinating, because what I have found is that we are so similar in many ways. And this has been shared by Desteni for a long time already; we are copies of our parents – and hence our experiences, reactions, observations and relationships towards and with our parents – they can become a great source for self-reflection.

One point that I have observed in my mother is the following: She is driven, ambitious and motivated – and many times this drive will cause her to take on more than she is able to handle. The consequences is that my mother feels forced to run through many things in her life, just push through, get to the other end, be done with it and move on – which in turn leads to less effective results and that she does not get to be fully part of that particular process/aspect of her life. And – big shock – I do exactly the same.

For my summer vacation I had quite a number of projects planned. Though, as anyone with experience in building and construction can vouch for, it always takes way longer than what you initially planned! Same was true for me. And little by little, my projects, instead of being a enjoyable hobby, became a weight, a fight against time and space – where these existential phenomenons always seemed to scheme against me. I started to become stressed and anxious, and noticed that I was hurrying and rushing to get things done. After some time, I felt as if I did not have time to go out on walks with my partner, go bathing, and hang around with summer visitors, because, I had to get my projects completed!

So, this is where I stepped in and started question my approach. Firstly, I could see that I had taken on too much, and that my hobbies had become a burden – I had been too ambitious – similar to my mother. Secondly, I could see that I was creating these arbitrary deadlines, and ideas of what had to be done and when, in such a way, that I was actually making it difficult for me to use my vacation to replenish and refresh myself to stand and walk in the system for another year in my profession – and that I was not anymore allowing myself to pursue and do the small points of enjoyment that I otherwise love to pursue and be part of – such as taking a walk and going for a swim.

Thus – what I have been able to take from this sequence of events is the following: To calm down with my projects, to not bee overly ambitious, but to have a balance in my life, to practice not taking on too much, but considering to overall context of my life as it currently is when I make decisions as to what I am going to do. Then, I have learned that, it is not quantity that matters, it is quality. When I give myself the time and space to commit to a point, and fully walk it, using the time required, then hell, I usually enjoy it a lot, and the results become really good. It is a completely different thing compared to taking care a of chore from the starting point of thinking that I do not have enough time, and that I need to rush through it as fast as possible.

Because of this I have deliberately practiced slowing down, allowing points to take time. For example today, I had planned to go out and remove a saw blade from my mitre saw. I envisioned that it would take about half an hour. However, it took about two hours, because the blade would simply not come loose. I became stressed, though, I slowed myself down, and gave it the time it required, and later, the bolt eventually loosened and I was able to pick the blade off the saw.

Hence, this is what I will continue to practice – FLOW and NATURAL MOVEMENT – to not try to force movement – to rather focus on doing a few things fully than a lot of things with only some of me taking part and the rest of me already in the new project.


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Day 417: Challenging Status Quo

There is this tendency within me, and seemingly humans in general, to accept what is currently here as the unchangeable truth. Let us take money for example and how it functions currently. Each time I consider and look at money, I do that from the premise of how it is working currently; thus in my mind – I am limited in how I am looking at an relating both to myself and this world – because – I accept what is here without question and more importantly – without seeing, realizing and understanding that I have the power to change it.

I would say, that this tendency of mine, to accept what is in my external reality, is a mirror image of how I relate to patterns on a internal level. Hence, what I want to develop within myself is the skill to actively question, reconsider and assess both myself and my external reality. Is what is here currently the BEST it can be? Am I currently the BEST that I can be? And if that is not the case, then what can I do to bring myself to that state of being the BEST that I can be? What patterns within myself have I recognized, however accepted and allow to remain as is, because, I believe that they cannot be changed?

It might be that we feel safe with the status quo. When everything is as it used to be, then at least, we have a form of safety in that. However, why not instead strive to make ourselves, and our lives the best that they can be? What is it that stands in our way but ourselves?

I will push myself to actively challenge and question both my inner and outer reality, and simultaneously look at solutions that I can apply to bring through what is BEST.


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Day 416: The Concrete Floor

Because I still have my holidays I have had time to commit to a couple of carpentry projects on the farm where I live. Some of them, I am really satisfied with, others, I am not. A few days ago I completed one of those projects which I am not satisfied with, at all.

The project was about casting a new concrete floor in the carpentry cabin on the farm. The floor was definitely in need of a remake, because it had a big hole in one section, a oil spill in another, and looked generally, quite rough. On my mothers initiative, it was thus decided to recast the floor. And I was on board and excited about the project, because I have never worked with concrete on my own before.

However, this excitement, and throwing myself into the project, was also, partly what caused me to in the end, be dissatisfied with the results. Because, without doing much research, my mother and I bought some bags of concrete, and without doing much research – except for making a few calls to check in with a couple of retailers – then I threw myself into blending, meshing and throwing the concrete.

The first thing that happened, was that we had not bought enough concrete. Hence, we were only able to cast roughly one fifth of the surface, and then we had to wait for a couple of days, until we were able to buy more concrete. Because of this a part of the new floor got a different color compared to the rest, and a slightly different height. Obviously, I was not very satisfied with that.

Then, the rest of the floor, because I had not done my research, it got a rough surface, not the floor-like, normal surface that I am used to. Further, the floor height was raised about 25-30 mm which made the height of the ceiling, in some areas, too low. All this because, I did not consider, reflect and look on the point beforehand. It was done impulsively, on a whim, and the results were equal and one to that.

When I looked how this happened, how I got carried away, I see that it has to do with the excitement I was experiencing in relation to the project, and also, a form of anxiety/fear of not being productive. The excitement point, well that is easy to understand, I was excited to get started and begin working. The anxiety/fear of not being productive, has to do with the belief/idea, that what counts is the finished product – and the physical labor that is put into creating that physical product. I have seen that my mother has the same belief. And the consequence of following/living according to this belief, is that the process of consideration/looking/preparation/planning will take a backseat – and the ‘doing’ will be placed in the forefront – causing unnecessary consequences – such as in this case. Because if I would have slowed down, and meticulously planned the point, undoubtedly the results would have been a lot better.

That is the lesson to be learned. However, instead of simply learning, and moving on, I got stuck in a loop of judging myself, where I thought that I could have known, that I should have slowed myself down, that I should have pushed myself to do the necessary planning. It was a form of torment within myself. When I looked at the point I realized that the origin point of this judgment was actually not that I was dissatisfied with the result – but that I had caused a ‘loss of money’ and time. According to the capitalistic mind-set, this project and the execution of it could be defined as a waste – however – for me it was not – because the process of walking the point – what I learned from it all – WHO I WAS within the execution – all of that is still with me – and that is not something that can be defined utilizing money or used time as a marker.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself, and to feel bad, and become obsessed within myself of thinking that I should have, and could have created a better result, if I would have prepared myself more and done things differently, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself this character, thinking that it was a great loss, because I lost money, and I lost time, and apparently, I need to utilize these two resources to produce and manufacture, and create monetary value, so that I am able to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money and time, and see money and time, as things that I have to be careful with, because I might waste them, and think that what must be done with this resources are to generate more monetary value into my world – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fearful, anxious, and judgmental, when I perceive that I have used these resources to something ‘unnecessary’ and something that did not produce the necessary ‘monetary value’ that I believe is important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn from my mistakes, and then empower myself through this learning, and do that without judging myself, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I learn better, that I learn more, that I learn faster, when and as I am judging myself – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that no, I do not learn more only because i judge myself, this is an idea that I have created, and in-fact – I do not need any emotional experience within myself to SEE, UNDERSTAND and move on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become carried away by a rush of wanting and desiring to complete and produce and see the final results – instead of pushing myself to remain methodical, structured and calm – to slow down – and to allow each point in the process to take its time – to see, realize and understand that the value of life/living/expression is not in the finished product but in the process of movement/application/walking – and within and as WHO I AM in the moments of life/living/expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that from my mistakes, I can learn a lot, and I can do that without judgment, simply by seeing and recognizing what I am dissatisfied with, and then taking that with me, and changing myself – hence – it does not have to be – in anyway a emotional or reactive point – it can simply be me learning and then moving forward to apply what I have learned

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming carried away, excited, and wanting to move ahead to the execution phase in a project, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that a project is not only about the execution, that I have to see the entirety of the point, slow down, look at it, consider, prepare, and plan – that in physical reality, when doing things that I have not done before – things will move a lot smoother, and without as many problems and issues, if I give myself time to consider and look at it – and thus I see, realize and understand that each point has its time to be created – and that there is no meaning or point in trying to stress and force a project to move forward – thus I commit myself to take the time required and needed for me to walk a point of creation with the necessary attention to detail and preparation that is required for me to be able to walk the point effectively and manifest my vision into creation – there is nothing wrong about something taking a lot of time to create – in-fact all things of value and substance do take time to put into creation

When and as I see myself judging myself for having made mistakes, for having moved to fast, without consideration, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand, that I can learn from my mistakes without judging myself, and that it is not ‘the whole world’ that I loose money and time because of mistakes and things that could have been avoided, its simply a consequence, and I can learn from it – and hence the time has not been wasted, the money is not wasted – because it is all about WHO I AM within and as the project/expression and what I take with myself


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Day 414: Redefining: Physical

After listening to the Eqafe interview Location of Existential Physical Process I have decided to redefine the word PHYSICAL.

How have I lived the word?

Physical, is a word, that I primarily see as a noun or adjective – hence not an action – but rather a passive object or description. Obviously you are able to use the word as a verb, such as: ‘Let’s get physical’ – though that is about the only example I know. Hence, to LIVE the word PHYSICAL – is something I have yet to explore.

However, I have since starting the Desteni I Process been continually practicing physical presence, being AWARE of the physical. I have done that through pushing myself to breath with awareness, and through being aware of my body, from the tip of my fingers to the tip of my toes – and that is something that have challenged me a lot – at the same time it has also been very enjoyable. This is the closest I get to living the word PHYSICAL.

Otherwise, physical, is something that I see as what I can tangibly touch, see or smell – it is something that interacts with my physical body or in my physical body – something that I am able to sense and experience with and through my body.

Sounding the word

Fuse-The-Cell
Fuss-In-Call
Fuse-Call
Fusion–Call
Cyst–In–All
Fuse–All
Fuse–I–All
First–I–All
First–I-Call

Etymology

early 15c., “of or pertaining to material nature” (in medicine, opposed to surgical), from Medieval Latin physicalis “of nature, natural,” from Latin physica “study of nature” (see physic). Meaning “pertaining to matter” is from 1590s; meaning “having to do with the body, corporeal” is attested from 1780. Meaning “characterized by bodily attributes or activities” is attested from 1970. Physical education first recorded 1838; abbreviated form phys ed is from 1955. Physical therapy is from 1922. Related: Physically.

Creative Writing

Physical – when I take this word within me and look at it – I get the sense of and endless ocean of darkness – silence – there is a deep and contented steadiness to the word – and it feels as if the word is solid – manifest – complete – the foundation from which everything springs and moves. The physical is not only about what can be sensed – it is about that deep connection within the human physical body – that goes deep, deep, into a dark and timeless calm.

Standing and living as the word PHYSICAL – would thus be to bring that deep and timeless calm up within me – and practicing that stance/living/expression within me as I go through my days – seeing, realizing and understanding that these shallow, hasty, rushes of positive and negative energy, that moves about, they are not relevant, neither are they of any consequence, in comparison to the endless depth of the PHYSICAL. Hence – bringing this word up within me can be of great support when I notice that I am loosening my balance and direction – and where I notice and see myself – falling into the trap of some experience or energy.

Redefining the word

The deep and timeless matter from which all originates


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Day 413: Putting Ourselves Out There

Lately I have met many interesting people, with new views and perspectives on reality, that would assist and support if they became common knowledge. However, a point that I have realized as of late, is the importance of making sure that one share those ideas/perspectives in some way with the world. And there are unfortunately only a few of these people, with valuable insights and knowledge, that share themselves with the world, in mediums that will be accessible for many people, or in some other way make themselves known in a way that would affect a larger mass of people.

The perfect example of this I would say is politics. Many of us see parts of society that are able to be improved, we see solutions and we see new ways of tackling long standing problems. However, few of us bring that knowledge/insight into the public sphere – into the sphere of politics. Instead, we blame the current politicians for not solving the problems. And instead of us contributing, we stand back, and feel good about ourselves for being able to see the problems, while not standing up, to offer and work on tangible, concrete and long-term solutions.

It is thus a fascinating pattern of self-sabotage, our tendency to stand back, not share ourselves, not put ourselves out there, and then to blame others for not doing, what we see we could do, if we would have stood up and moved ourselves. Fascinating, and also, unnecessary and very destructive. Because how much could we not have changed, if all those capable, would have stood up and moved themselves?

Hence, what I have come to see, realize and understand in my process of self-change, is the importance of taking part, participating in the world and the current system, regardless of how it is done. To make sure that I do not isolate myself in a group where my sphere of influence remains limited, but that I push myself to move outwards. And that is something I do through blogging, though it does not really matter how it is done, it could be through vlogging or meetings in the physical, and it can be done anonymously – the point of importance is to is to in some way GET OUT THERE and BE an active PARTICIPANT in the shaping and creating of our current society and world.

Being an active PARTICIPANT – that is what I see as living with PASSION = Pass-It-On. Living with passion entails making sure that my strengths are shared with the world, that I pass them on, that I show and stand as an example. Because that is what I would have liked others to do for me. If I have a weakness, and someone else is strong in that area of their life, I would have wanted them to make sure that they share themselves and through that, show me, how I am able to transform my weaknesses into a strength.

Because fact is that no man is an island. We do live in a community, we are dependent on each-other, and hence, as a community, we will only ever be as strong as the weakest among us. That is why we ourselves also have an interest in making sure that we are heard, that we share ourselves and that we voice ourselves – because at the end of the day – that will also benefit us.


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Day 412: Potential

Today I am going to open up the word POTENTIAL.

Recently I looked at a documentary covering the campaign of the current president of France, Emmanuel Macron. It was an interesting view of the political machinery, from the inside. However, I am not going to review the content of the film, but rather my reactions towards it. The reactions that came up within me was that of stress, as well as comparison. I compared myself to Emmanuel Macron and the position he has achieved. The backchat went something like this:

‘My god, he is only 39 years old, and already president. What have I achieved with my life? I must get a move on if I am going to do something with myself.’

After a chat with my Desteni I Process buddy (she helps me a lot!) I reached the conclusion that the reaction had to do with how I had defined the word potential. The way I saw the word, it was still imbued with the various ideas marketed in the current system of what it means to be successful, what it means to achieve, what it means to become someone in this world; and those are mostly about getting money, or having influence or power. In my life, neither of those factors are particularly salient, at least not to the extent where I can compare myself to a president. Hence, in my mind, the comparison with Emmanuel Macron, fell out in such a way that I was the loser.

Thus – it is time to redefine the word potential. An interesting point to note is that I do not have difficulties in seeing the potential of others. In-fact, that is natural to me. And the potential I see within others is not limited to the polarities of the system and ideas of success – rather – I am able to see how they would be able to contribute/give/expand within their current situation and in their daily living. It is really fascinating actually. An example would for example be my neighbor, who is a farmer. Now, in his life, and profession, and because of who he is, I see the potential of him inviting young people, children, to follow him and learn what a farmer does. I can see that he would be able to give a lot of himself through such a set-up – a POTENTIAL. Though, when I look at my own life, I have experienced a lot more difficulty in trying to establish, what is my potential, and what I am able to do with myself in this lifetime to assist and support myself and others.

Let’s redefine the word POTENTIAL

Sounding the word

Potent-See-All
Potent-All
Pour-Ten-Shallow
Pool-Of-All
Pool-Of-My-All
Pour-Into-The-Shallow

Creative writing

I see that word potential is about filling and empty space. A shallow pool waiting to be filled. The pool has a certain amount of water when it is filled to its brim, its utmost. Living the word potential, is hence about recognizing the amount of water that should be in the pool, and then filling it with water – manifesting its utmost. And filling my pool with water would be the process of realizing/manifesting my potential.

In the world system potential oftentimes has a very limited definition. Mostly it is connected to either sex or money. However, there is obviously a lot more to the word potential. What I see at the moment is that most aspects of our lives holds a unfulfilled potential. For example, the way I drive my car. In certain traffic situations I might be sloppy and careless – and I see that I could do/become more in that particular context of of my life – there is a POTENTIAL for EXPANSION – a pool that is not yet filled. Hence – realizing my potential in that context would be to actually push myself to in similar traffic situations become more attentive and careful.

Thus potential is not limited to improving ourselves in our career or in our ability to acquire and hold unto a partner. Potential is everywhere – and really – our task is to learn to SEE the potential. And to be able to SEE our potential we must learn to recognize what we are dissatisfied with and want to change, learn to see and become inspired by the examples of others, so that we see that we are able to see that there is MORE, and learn to listen to ourselves and bring forth those inner visions we have, were we see we could move and expand with regards to a particular point, into the foreground of our lives, where they can become part of our daily movement and living.

Living potential is as such very much about being ACTIVE and constantly MOVING, CHALLENGING, PUSHING myself forward to see what more I am able to do, and what more I am able to become. Because really, what stands in my way most of the times is that I am not sufficiently ON THE BALL to catch and move on the potential when it opens up.

Redefinition of the word POTENTIAL

Pushing Myself To Make A Moment/Expression/Point The Best That It Can Be


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