Tag Archives: movement

Day 441: Making Plans and Following Them

I like making plans. In-fact it makes me excited to consider the potentials of the future, what I can do with it, what goals can be realized and what directions can be taken. Though, what is more difficult for me is to stick with the plan. It is also harder for me to plan my day-to-day life – you know – the small apparently insignificant things we have to tend to. To me, this indicates one thing, and that is that planning is not yet a word/expression that I am living as a grounded and realistic approach to life. It is still more of a form of entertainment rather than a practical tool to be used in making myself and my daily living more streamlined and effective.

One example that comes to mind, that exemplifies my tendency to ‘winging it’ instead of structuring my approach, is that I do not tend to look in my almanac throughout my week. And that in itself is a tell, because guess what, I usually sit down and map out my week, in my almanac. Though when it comes to applying it throughout the week, I rely on my good memory, and improvise a lot as well. However, this causes me to forget what I have planned, miss responsibilities and ‘to-do’s’.

Though, there is yet another reason why I do not tend to look in the almanac throughout my week, and that is a underlying stress, a sense of urgency, where I do not feel as if I have the time to stop up and make any plans, or for that matter, check up upon and follow the plans that I have already made. However, I do understand on a theoretical level, and I have also seen it in practice, that when I plan and streamline my day, this helps me to be more efficient with my time, to get more done, and to move more smoothly through my day.

Thus, the points I want to work with regards to the word planning/structure is to be realistic when I make my plans, to push myself to plan, and follow my plans, with regards to my day-to-day living.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I make my plans, and to make them too ambitious, too lofty, where I become excited over the fact that I can plan, imagine and think things up, however, not considering the practical living of the plan – and also taking into consideration WHO I AM as a person, and what would be realistic for me to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through on the plans that I make, because when it comes to following through, I no longer have that exciting energy within me, and now, it is all physical, and it is all about discipline, and it as all about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire my plans to live for me, to hope that when I have made a plan, that it is enough and that I do not have to do anymore, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire plans so that I can feel comfortable in knowing that I am going to go forward with my life – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that plans are only what I make of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that plans are a direction in and as themselves, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the direction, the movement, it will always be ME – plans is only ever a tool that I am able to use in order to structure and create an overview in my life and make it easier for me to stand as the direction and stand as the movement in my life – and stand as the way forward – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use plans as a support tool and not something upon which I rely to move myself forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my plans are my guide, that my plans are what should move me forward, that my plans are what will move me through life, that I can place trust and reliance on my plans – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited and joyful when I make plans because I believe that they are actually going to be realized automatically and that I am going to achieve everything that I think about and look at – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that my plans will not do such a thing, that I will have to stand as the point of direction in my life and my life forward – no plan will do that for me

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to live the word planning through structuring my daily living in a realistic and grounded way, where I plan and streamline my day-to-day commitments and responsibilities in a supportive manner

I commit myself to follow through on what I have planned, to actively look at my calendar and my to-do list, to use it as a support and a reference point, from which I move myself

When and as I see myself going into a state of ‘winging’ it – a state of stress and anxiety, where I do not want to spend time on planning, referencing my plans, or following my plans, because I feel that it takes too much time, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that planning does take time, though it is something that will pay back, because when I plan, I create a overview, and I create a foundation for efficiency and expression – because I know where I am, where I am going and what is required to be done – and thus I commit myself to stop up, take a breath and commit time each day to planning my movement and my time


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Day 435: Changing The Small Yet Significant Points

When I look at what change, revolution, momentum and creation means to me, I see that I have given these words extensive, BIG definitions. For change to be important, it has to be BIG, unless it is a massive movement in the right direction, it means nothing – apparently. I have realized that this way of thinking has many times caused me to glance over what is HERE, taking the opportunities in my life for granted, and not effectively using the opportunities in my life to CHANGE.

The fascinating thing is that change many times is impossible in the big, that is, unless the small has been changed first. Because the big is constituted by the small. Our money system for example is constituted by many, many small/individual human beings, all with their own lives, and all contributing in some way or another to our current way of handling money. Thus, to try and change the big, which in this case would be the money system, and expect it to work, without as well having changed the small, the individual human beings relationship to money, that is not possible. And in my personal life, the same reasoning can be applied. If I want to really contribute to a life that is best on a big, global scale, then I must first walk it in the small. Can I even hope to make a difference in the big, which without a doubt will pose more of a challenge, if I have not even changed the small for myself? No – not possible.

This week I have pushed myself to become aware of the small points in my life and experience of myself that I want to change. It is things like changing how I wake up in the morning, how I walk to work, how I dress for work, how I am with my daughter when changing her diapers, how I am with myself. It is things like how I engage and participate at work, at home, and with friends and family. Do I really move myself, engage and flow as much as I could do, or is there an unexplored potential to be found?

When change is brought back to the small, it is easier to see what points there are that needs direction. If I look at only the big, out there, change becomes cumbersome, uncertain, because, what to change? Where to focus? Where to go? It is so big, where should I direct my attention? While, when I bring my attention back to the small, it is clear what must be changed – because it is right here in front of me – it is easy to see what I can do for myself that would make my life and that are part of my life a whole lot better. And then, what is missed when the focus gets placed on changing the big, is how, when I become and feel better, this will influence the people that I am in contact with in my life.

The small, the apparently insignificant, the points that are taken for granted, that is where change happens – and that is where I have a direct access to self-change. It is in the small moments where I am able to build and work towards creating the big moments, and hence, it is important to remember, that anything big, is made up out small parts.

The solution for myself is the following: When I notice that I am judging my environment/where or with whom I am with – because I feel as if it does not offer the opportunity for change that I want – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to focus on creating and building/moving change in the small and the apparently insignificant – I commit myself to be attentive to all parts in my life – to be attentive and look at the small that I want to change – to recognize these parts and to push myself to change them – and thus – accumulate a change in the big through committing to and changing in the small.


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Day 425: Revisiting STRUCTURE

This week I have returned to look at the word STRUCTURE and one person that supports me a lot when it comes to practically applying and living this word is my partner, because in many areas of her life, she is very structured – and one such area is cooking.

When I was younger, my way of cooking used to be very chaotic. Let us say that I were supposed to cook beef, potatoes and some sauce. I would then throw myself into it without prior considerations, and probably, begin frying the meat, while at the same time trying to peel the potatoes and stirring the sauce, hence creating a very chaotic environment for myself – thus no structure.

Through my partner, I have come to appreciate planning, preparation and considering the process of cooking before embarking on the journey. Hence, what I do now, is that I will prepare all the raw material, before I begin to do something with it. Hence I will peel all the potatoes, I will cut the meat, and I will pick out the ingredients for the sauce. By doing this, I have been able to create a much more relaxing and rewarding relationship with cooking, and obviously, I have become a better cook. Though, there are still points that I want to improve and expand upon in relation to my cooking.

The first point is to learn to slow down to read the recipe, preferably two times, so that I make sure that I know the steps needed to be walked to cook the dish. This practice of slowing down and looking/investigating/researching before I move and act is actually something that I would like to integrate in other parts of my life as well – because I have a tendency of moving too fast. When I get excited about something, I want to move NOW – however – the problem with this is that I will then many times miss points and make unnecessary mistakes, that could have been easily prevented with a little bit of forethought.

Another cool example of living structure that I realized as of late had to do with removing rust on my car. I had been thinking of removing the rust for a while, however, I had only thought about it, and not really planned how I would do it, for instance, where I would park the car, what kind of materials I would use, how long it would take, etc. Then one day, I just began, I put the car outside and started removing the rust spots, and naturally, it began to rain as I was applying the new coating. I stopped, and looked at what I was doing. I could see and feel that I was moving in a state of stress and excitement, I wanted to move, move, move, and get done, move ahead, apply – however – in that state of stress/excitement – I was missing to PLAN and take into CONSIDERATION my environment – and effectively preparing myself and my surroundings so that I would be able to walk through my project successfully.

I then decided to change direction. I used about two hours to clear out the garage, to prepare a work bench, electricity and effective lightning, preparing my environment for the operation I was about to commence, until I satisfied and content. Then I began anew with my project, and this time it flowed A LOT better.

Thus, similar to cooking, in making minor reparations on my car, it is very supportive to prepare, plan, look ahead, and structure my movement and my environment, before moving on to the actual production. Though, it is fascinating, that at times, this preparatory phase does not feel as real, as important, as significant as the actual ‘production’ phase – and I will actually resist spending the necessary time, preparing the point. However, this is a faulty proposition, because ALL parts of the project, is in-fact, however indirectly, connected to the actual production, and will all have an influence on the finished result. And it is the same with cooking. The cooking process will be a lot less stressful, and hence, there will be more time to direct the specifics, and make sure that the details are in place.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to jump immediately to the ‘productive phase’ of a particular project/expression and not prepare or structure my movement beforehand, and hence, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how it is that I am in-fact compromising the finished result, compromising my expression, because structuring, and preparing, are actually important aspects of the process and indirectly impacts the finished result of whatever it is that I am participating within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that by placing focus on the finished result and the direct actions that result in the finished result, and not looking at the entire process of creation as a whole, I am limiting myself and my movement within the point, and I am compromising the finished result, as I am not allowing myself to structure my movement, to create a sound foundation from which I am able to move and create myself and express myself within the particular project that I am taking part in

Self-commitment statement

When and as I feel stress, excited and anxious to get going, and I want to move on a project without structuring it, preparing for it, and considering the walking of the project, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that I have consistently proven to myself, that I will do a lot better, and the finished result will be much more effective, when I take time to structure my movement, when I take time to look at what is required and needed, and how to best facilitate my movement, and then, when I have made that plan, move myself forward – thus I commit myself to practice preparation, structure, slowing down, and using the time that I need, in order to walk a point of creation methodically and slowly, to get it done in the best way possible.


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Day 420: Last-Chance-U

I have been watching a Netflix series called Last-Chance-U for a couple of a weeks now, and wow, what an awesome show. The series, which is a documentary, follows various persons involved in the junior college football team Mississippi East, and the Mississippi East community college. Its a wide range of personalities, from apathetic teenagers seeking a better life, to those seeking fame and fortune and hope to reach the NFL, to the trainers and coaches, some of whom, lives and breathes football.

Not only is the show really good, in the sense that it documents, and follows the involved participants without trying to impose upon them any kind of moral or ethics, or ‘make a point’ – it also gives a very interesting view into the human psyche. And since watching the series I have utilized the insights I gained through the show to reflect it back on myself.

There is especially one point that is prominent and general throughout the series, and that is how much all the involved persons rely on emotions to move themselves. The coaching of the players is built around the philosophy that you ‘have to be hard, else the players go slack, and they will not push themselves to their fullest’. Hence, the coaches, on many occasions, will scream, shout, attack personally, call out players, telling them they are bad, they are not doing right, they do not understand, and that they will ‘removed from the team unless they get their shit together’. It is quite clear that the intention of this approach is to generate a emotional response, and the idea behind it, is that this will then stimulate the players to do better.

Many of the players also have academic difficulties. And one of the more common problems is lack of movement. Few have the discipline and commitment required to sit down and study for longer periods of time. And hence, what many players tends to do, is that they wait, until consequences start emerging, then they will react in a emotional response of fear, and start moving themselves. Only when a emotion arise do they move themselves, thus similar to how the coaches rely on instigating emotions in their players to generate movement.

Thus, the idea that we need emotions to move ourselves, that is the general theme I picked up on. Though why do we believe that? Through my own process, what I have learned is that emotions, sure they can motivate me to move, however, the movement will seldom be as effective as it could have been, mostly because emotional movement lacks rationale and is not logically sound. It is just a movement, intense at best, however, as the emotion fades away, so does the movement, and then, another crisis or difficult experience is required to generate the next batch of emotions to fuel movement. And obviously, life becomes stressful and pressured, because movement goes from crisis to release, from crisis to release, from crisis to release, over and over again – WHEN – instead movement could be achieved through a DECISION.

Yes, it can be that simple. All we require is a decision. For example, to decide, that I will commit myself to study intently, with dedication and focus, until I am able to graduate from this school. There is no emotion required to make such a decision. There is no emotion required to see what is best for us, what makes sense, what is COMMON SENSE, and then to act upon it. All we need is our reasoning skills, and our body, and the rest, well that is up to us – if we will actually do it or not.

This is called SELF-MOVEMENT and when people realize how it works, it will undoubtedly revolutionize sports as well as our education. Because, we really do not need to invoke that deep passion for winning or the fear of losing within us, in order to do our best, and in order to perform outstandingly, all we need is ourselves.


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Day 419: Natural Movement

Living close to my mother now for about two years has been challenging, however also, very, very revealing, in the sense that I have learned SO much about myself from observing my mother, and then bringing it back to me. It is fascinating, because what I have found is that we are so similar in many ways. And this has been shared by Desteni for a long time already; we are copies of our parents – and hence our experiences, reactions, observations and relationships towards and with our parents – they can become a great source for self-reflection.

One point that I have observed in my mother is the following: She is driven, ambitious and motivated – and many times this drive will cause her to take on more than she is able to handle. The consequences is that my mother feels forced to run through many things in her life, just push through, get to the other end, be done with it and move on – which in turn leads to less effective results and that she does not get to be fully part of that particular process/aspect of her life. And – big shock – I do exactly the same.

For my summer vacation I had quite a number of projects planned. Though, as anyone with experience in building and construction can vouch for, it always takes way longer than what you initially planned! Same was true for me. And little by little, my projects, instead of being a enjoyable hobby, became a weight, a fight against time and space – where these existential phenomenons always seemed to scheme against me. I started to become stressed and anxious, and noticed that I was hurrying and rushing to get things done. After some time, I felt as if I did not have time to go out on walks with my partner, go bathing, and hang around with summer visitors, because, I had to get my projects completed!

So, this is where I stepped in and started question my approach. Firstly, I could see that I had taken on too much, and that my hobbies had become a burden – I had been too ambitious – similar to my mother. Secondly, I could see that I was creating these arbitrary deadlines, and ideas of what had to be done and when, in such a way, that I was actually making it difficult for me to use my vacation to replenish and refresh myself to stand and walk in the system for another year in my profession – and that I was not anymore allowing myself to pursue and do the small points of enjoyment that I otherwise love to pursue and be part of – such as taking a walk and going for a swim.

Thus – what I have been able to take from this sequence of events is the following: To calm down with my projects, to not bee overly ambitious, but to have a balance in my life, to practice not taking on too much, but considering to overall context of my life as it currently is when I make decisions as to what I am going to do. Then, I have learned that, it is not quantity that matters, it is quality. When I give myself the time and space to commit to a point, and fully walk it, using the time required, then hell, I usually enjoy it a lot, and the results become really good. It is a completely different thing compared to taking care a of chore from the starting point of thinking that I do not have enough time, and that I need to rush through it as fast as possible.

Because of this I have deliberately practiced slowing down, allowing points to take time. For example today, I had planned to go out and remove a saw blade from my mitre saw. I envisioned that it would take about half an hour. However, it took about two hours, because the blade would simply not come loose. I became stressed, though, I slowed myself down, and gave it the time it required, and later, the bolt eventually loosened and I was able to pick the blade off the saw.

Hence, this is what I will continue to practice – FLOW and NATURAL MOVEMENT – to not try to force movement – to rather focus on doing a few things fully than a lot of things with only some of me taking part and the rest of me already in the new project.


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Day 417: Challenging Status Quo

There is this tendency within me, and seemingly humans in general, to accept what is currently here as the unchangeable truth. Let us take money for example and how it functions currently. Each time I consider and look at money, I do that from the premise of how it is working currently; thus in my mind – I am limited in how I am looking at an relating both to myself and this world – because – I accept what is here without question and more importantly – without seeing, realizing and understanding that I have the power to change it.

I would say, that this tendency of mine, to accept what is in my external reality, is a mirror image of how I relate to patterns on a internal level. Hence, what I want to develop within myself is the skill to actively question, reconsider and assess both myself and my external reality. Is what is here currently the BEST it can be? Am I currently the BEST that I can be? And if that is not the case, then what can I do to bring myself to that state of being the BEST that I can be? What patterns within myself have I recognized, however accepted and allow to remain as is, because, I believe that they cannot be changed?

It might be that we feel safe with the status quo. When everything is as it used to be, then at least, we have a form of safety in that. However, why not instead strive to make ourselves, and our lives the best that they can be? What is it that stands in our way but ourselves?

I will push myself to actively challenge and question both my inner and outer reality, and simultaneously look at solutions that I can apply to bring through what is BEST.


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Day 416: The Concrete Floor

Because I still have my holidays I have had time to commit to a couple of carpentry projects on the farm where I live. Some of them, I am really satisfied with, others, I am not. A few days ago I completed one of those projects which I am not satisfied with, at all.

The project was about casting a new concrete floor in the carpentry cabin on the farm. The floor was definitely in need of a remake, because it had a big hole in one section, a oil spill in another, and looked generally, quite rough. On my mothers initiative, it was thus decided to recast the floor. And I was on board and excited about the project, because I have never worked with concrete on my own before.

However, this excitement, and throwing myself into the project, was also, partly what caused me to in the end, be dissatisfied with the results. Because, without doing much research, my mother and I bought some bags of concrete, and without doing much research – except for making a few calls to check in with a couple of retailers – then I threw myself into blending, meshing and throwing the concrete.

The first thing that happened, was that we had not bought enough concrete. Hence, we were only able to cast roughly one fifth of the surface, and then we had to wait for a couple of days, until we were able to buy more concrete. Because of this a part of the new floor got a different color compared to the rest, and a slightly different height. Obviously, I was not very satisfied with that.

Then, the rest of the floor, because I had not done my research, it got a rough surface, not the floor-like, normal surface that I am used to. Further, the floor height was raised about 25-30 mm which made the height of the ceiling, in some areas, too low. All this because, I did not consider, reflect and look on the point beforehand. It was done impulsively, on a whim, and the results were equal and one to that.

When I looked how this happened, how I got carried away, I see that it has to do with the excitement I was experiencing in relation to the project, and also, a form of anxiety/fear of not being productive. The excitement point, well that is easy to understand, I was excited to get started and begin working. The anxiety/fear of not being productive, has to do with the belief/idea, that what counts is the finished product – and the physical labor that is put into creating that physical product. I have seen that my mother has the same belief. And the consequence of following/living according to this belief, is that the process of consideration/looking/preparation/planning will take a backseat – and the ‘doing’ will be placed in the forefront – causing unnecessary consequences – such as in this case. Because if I would have slowed down, and meticulously planned the point, undoubtedly the results would have been a lot better.

That is the lesson to be learned. However, instead of simply learning, and moving on, I got stuck in a loop of judging myself, where I thought that I could have known, that I should have slowed myself down, that I should have pushed myself to do the necessary planning. It was a form of torment within myself. When I looked at the point I realized that the origin point of this judgment was actually not that I was dissatisfied with the result – but that I had caused a ‘loss of money’ and time. According to the capitalistic mind-set, this project and the execution of it could be defined as a waste – however – for me it was not – because the process of walking the point – what I learned from it all – WHO I WAS within the execution – all of that is still with me – and that is not something that can be defined utilizing money or used time as a marker.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself, and to feel bad, and become obsessed within myself of thinking that I should have, and could have created a better result, if I would have prepared myself more and done things differently, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself this character, thinking that it was a great loss, because I lost money, and I lost time, and apparently, I need to utilize these two resources to produce and manufacture, and create monetary value, so that I am able to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money and time, and see money and time, as things that I have to be careful with, because I might waste them, and think that what must be done with this resources are to generate more monetary value into my world – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fearful, anxious, and judgmental, when I perceive that I have used these resources to something ‘unnecessary’ and something that did not produce the necessary ‘monetary value’ that I believe is important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn from my mistakes, and then empower myself through this learning, and do that without judging myself, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I learn better, that I learn more, that I learn faster, when and as I am judging myself – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that no, I do not learn more only because i judge myself, this is an idea that I have created, and in-fact – I do not need any emotional experience within myself to SEE, UNDERSTAND and move on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become carried away by a rush of wanting and desiring to complete and produce and see the final results – instead of pushing myself to remain methodical, structured and calm – to slow down – and to allow each point in the process to take its time – to see, realize and understand that the value of life/living/expression is not in the finished product but in the process of movement/application/walking – and within and as WHO I AM in the moments of life/living/expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that from my mistakes, I can learn a lot, and I can do that without judgment, simply by seeing and recognizing what I am dissatisfied with, and then taking that with me, and changing myself – hence – it does not have to be – in anyway a emotional or reactive point – it can simply be me learning and then moving forward to apply what I have learned

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming carried away, excited, and wanting to move ahead to the execution phase in a project, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that a project is not only about the execution, that I have to see the entirety of the point, slow down, look at it, consider, prepare, and plan – that in physical reality, when doing things that I have not done before – things will move a lot smoother, and without as many problems and issues, if I give myself time to consider and look at it – and thus I see, realize and understand that each point has its time to be created – and that there is no meaning or point in trying to stress and force a project to move forward – thus I commit myself to take the time required and needed for me to walk a point of creation with the necessary attention to detail and preparation that is required for me to be able to walk the point effectively and manifest my vision into creation – there is nothing wrong about something taking a lot of time to create – in-fact all things of value and substance do take time to put into creation

When and as I see myself judging myself for having made mistakes, for having moved to fast, without consideration, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand, that I can learn from my mistakes without judging myself, and that it is not ‘the whole world’ that I loose money and time because of mistakes and things that could have been avoided, its simply a consequence, and I can learn from it – and hence the time has not been wasted, the money is not wasted – because it is all about WHO I AM within and as the project/expression and what I take with myself


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