Tag Archives: movement

Day 449: Taking My Surroundings For Granted

I talked with a neighbor not so long ago. He shared some of his history to the place where we are living. He said that he felt so privileged to be able to wake up each day and interact with this environment. As I listened to him I could see what he was saying and also that I have been taking my house, my environment, the basics of each day, for granted in may ways. Thus, my neighbor inspired me to look into this tendency of mine, to take things for granted.

I have realized that my tendency is to take the basic things in life for granted. Such as the environment where I live. I live far out on the country-side – our house is surrounded by fields and trees, and not so far away is a fresh water lake. It is marvelous and it has been very supportive for me to live here. It has assisted and supported me to slow down, to ground myself, to become more stable. And, it has offered me many opportunities to expand on my interest in nature and in handcrafting. However, even though it is pretty amazing, I still take it for granted from time to time.

The primary reason that I have found as to why I take it for granted is because I become too involved in the thoughts in my mind, the useless, daily conversations taking place inside of my head, that lead nowhere. Instead of smelling the fresh air, and allowing my eyes to seep in the colors, and my ears, the sound, of this rural environment, I start to think about shit, that is of no relevance. An example would be, how I start to think about my job; am I doing it good enough? Or that I start to think about my future; am I at the right place in life? Should I be doing something different? Am I doing enough? Am I missing something?

There is really SO MUCH shit that we can spend our time thinking about. And it is quite fascinating that we do not see how insignificant and pointless these processes of thinking are. Where do they lead? Seldom anywhere, because just after we have started up one line of thinking, a new oe will appear, taking us into a different direction. There is really no coherence, consistency or common sense in how the thoughts in the mind move – it is a constant chatter – that have no practical value when it comes to living and participating in reality.

Thus, I want to push myself to not accept and allow this mind chatter, to not accept and allow this mind chatter to get in the way of me enjoying and participating in the beautiful place where I live. Because it is not possible to make the most of where I am at, if my attention is elsewhere, if I am instead in my mind, trying to figure out the next step, or the ‘right’ step. Fact is that, in my life at the moment, everything is set up for me to be able to slow down, and start enjoying/living/being part of this world. Thus, it is fascinating to see how small things become enlarged in the mind, how perspective is lost, and that what matters, and what is important becomes forgotten or diminished.

And then, what can be asked, is where I do the same in relation to other responsibilities/aspects/parts of my life? Where do I accept and allow irrelevant issues to cloud my clarity, my direction, my experience and living/taking part of my life fully. Small shit takes too much time, too much energy, too much life – it takes us too much away from life HERE – and it is HERE where our attention should be. Life is HERE – and it will not emerge suddenly, one day, when we have been able to find solutions to all of that clutter. Life is HERE and it will emerge when we make the decision, and decide to walk the process to make it happen.

 


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Day 447: Self-Determination

Today I want to open up the word self-determination. In international law there exist a right of self-determination. It is defined in the context of the right for a group of people to decide their own direction/destiny. For example, the right for Swedish people to decide their own direction and not be bothered by other countries stepping in, and making decisions for the Swedish people.

In the context of SELF – self-determination, as I see it, is about me deciding WHO I AM. And this is not a right, it is a decision. The decision must be made in every moment, because otherwise, someone or something else will determine me. Especially in today’s world, where there a literally billions of distractions/temptations that all want a piece of our attention/life, it is important to be self-determined.

What does it mean to be self-determined? An example would be, that if I walk into a room, and in this room there are a couple of angry people that start to yell and scream at me – the principle of self-determination would be lived out through me deciding what word I am going to live and thus not accepting and allowing myself to REACT to the reactions/energies of the people in the room. Hence, it is about ACTING instead of REACTING.

And what does it mean to act instead of react? To act is a movement that comes from within self – there is clarity and understanding – acting is an expression of and as self and not merely something that is motivated and driven from within and as a energy. Hence, there is a distinct difference between acting and reacting, between self-determination and weak-mindedness. The difficult part of self-determination is pushing through those moments of reaction that will occur, because the reaction is tempting, it is the easy way, what feels right. If someone says or does something mean unto us, hell, we want to get back, because, it is the right thing to do? It is the just thing to do? However – it is clearly not the BEST thing to do. A self-determined act is thus never about making things even – it is about acting from the heart – seeing what is best – and realizing that potential practically.

It cannot be stressed enough – that self-determination is a key factor in being able to stand stable and solid in this world. Without self-determination we will be thrown around on the roller-coaster of life, with ups and downs, failures and successes, highs and lows. With self-determination, the ups and downs of life are immaterial – because regardless of what happens – I DECIDE who I am – I DETERMINE who I am. And thus, in the face of successes and failures, I am determined to remain STABLE – in the face of ups and downs – I am determined to remain clear – because I decide to live/do what is best for me.

There is no life path that is going to give me a stable/easy/predictable life – if I want stability in my life – I will have to live it and determine it for and as myself.

 


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Day 446: Finding Passion and Purpose

Passion and purpose. Things that I have had a tendency to look for out there. I am confident that I am not alone in that. It is like the words passion and purpose in themselves have a energy of exertion – towards/against something/someone else but self here.

Though, I have realized a couple of interesting points for myself as of late. I sat down to write on the words of passion and purpose and I ended up asking myself the following question. Is it even possible to SHARE/GIVE passion and purpose towards the world out there if we have not yet given ourselves these words within ourselves in our relationship towards ourselves?

I would say, NO, it is not possible. And the world as well as history is literally full of examples. People that have moved themselves arduously to create/manifest a particular outcome/goal that would empower/enrich humanity in some way – but that along the way forgot COMPLETELY about themselves. Let us look at the main character in the movie Kinsey, which is based on Alfred Kinsey, the famous sexologist who founded the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex. In the movie, Alfred Kinsey is depicted as utterly and wholly passionate with his project of mapping the sexual inclinations of the American people. Again and again, his stout determination comes through. He lives focused and purposefully.

Though, he might have been passionate and purposeful with his project to map out sex. However in the movie, he is depicted as having many character flaws and problems. One example being, that he works too much, and that he does not have time for his spouse and his children, or that he lets his work take over and change the way he relates to his family – making everything about what he is currently researching at his work. At the end of the movie, it becomes clear that he has worked too hard. His body is frail and he over exhausts himself. His purpose, his passion, becomes a drug – a way to hide from himself – and not a point of GIVING.

The movie Kinsey nicely exemplifies what I touched upon above. That real purpose and passion, it always begins from within. You cannot go out into the world and believe that you are going to make a lasting impact, unless you have effectively changed your own flaws. The same goes in relationships and agreements, you cannot attempt to support another to change, unless you have walked through and supported yourself to change that point. The within reflects the without.

I have realized that finding passion and purpose is the wrong way to look at it. Rather, the point is to CREATE passion and purpose, and begin living these words in the SMALL for and as myself – in my small world. Then, when I have established the words as a consistent part of my daily living – I can expand – and take on a slightly bigger point.

Hence, trying to find purpose would be a dead end alley. The point is rather to CREATE self in all ways – when that is done properly – purpose – or rather – a clear direction – will emerge naturally. And it is thus important to remember, that when we start to look for something to give us direction out there, it means that we have not yet given direction to our own process of self-creation.

 


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Day 441: Making Plans and Following Them

I like making plans. In-fact it makes me excited to consider the potentials of the future, what I can do with it, what goals can be realized and what directions can be taken. Though, what is more difficult for me is to stick with the plan. It is also harder for me to plan my day-to-day life – you know – the small apparently insignificant things we have to tend to. To me, this indicates one thing, and that is that planning is not yet a word/expression that I am living as a grounded and realistic approach to life. It is still more of a form of entertainment rather than a practical tool to be used in making myself and my daily living more streamlined and effective.

One example that comes to mind, that exemplifies my tendency to ‘winging it’ instead of structuring my approach, is that I do not tend to look in my almanac throughout my week. And that in itself is a tell, because guess what, I usually sit down and map out my week, in my almanac. Though when it comes to applying it throughout the week, I rely on my good memory, and improvise a lot as well. However, this causes me to forget what I have planned, miss responsibilities and ‘to-do’s’.

Though, there is yet another reason why I do not tend to look in the almanac throughout my week, and that is a underlying stress, a sense of urgency, where I do not feel as if I have the time to stop up and make any plans, or for that matter, check up upon and follow the plans that I have already made. However, I do understand on a theoretical level, and I have also seen it in practice, that when I plan and streamline my day, this helps me to be more efficient with my time, to get more done, and to move more smoothly through my day.

Thus, the points I want to work with regards to the word planning/structure is to be realistic when I make my plans, to push myself to plan, and follow my plans, with regards to my day-to-day living.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I make my plans, and to make them too ambitious, too lofty, where I become excited over the fact that I can plan, imagine and think things up, however, not considering the practical living of the plan – and also taking into consideration WHO I AM as a person, and what would be realistic for me to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through on the plans that I make, because when it comes to following through, I no longer have that exciting energy within me, and now, it is all physical, and it is all about discipline, and it as all about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire my plans to live for me, to hope that when I have made a plan, that it is enough and that I do not have to do anymore, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire plans so that I can feel comfortable in knowing that I am going to go forward with my life – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that plans are only what I make of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that plans are a direction in and as themselves, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the direction, the movement, it will always be ME – plans is only ever a tool that I am able to use in order to structure and create an overview in my life and make it easier for me to stand as the direction and stand as the movement in my life – and stand as the way forward – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use plans as a support tool and not something upon which I rely to move myself forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my plans are my guide, that my plans are what should move me forward, that my plans are what will move me through life, that I can place trust and reliance on my plans – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited and joyful when I make plans because I believe that they are actually going to be realized automatically and that I am going to achieve everything that I think about and look at – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that my plans will not do such a thing, that I will have to stand as the point of direction in my life and my life forward – no plan will do that for me

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to live the word planning through structuring my daily living in a realistic and grounded way, where I plan and streamline my day-to-day commitments and responsibilities in a supportive manner

I commit myself to follow through on what I have planned, to actively look at my calendar and my to-do list, to use it as a support and a reference point, from which I move myself

When and as I see myself going into a state of ‘winging’ it – a state of stress and anxiety, where I do not want to spend time on planning, referencing my plans, or following my plans, because I feel that it takes too much time, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that planning does take time, though it is something that will pay back, because when I plan, I create a overview, and I create a foundation for efficiency and expression – because I know where I am, where I am going and what is required to be done – and thus I commit myself to stop up, take a breath and commit time each day to planning my movement and my time


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Day 435: Changing The Small Yet Significant Points

When I look at what change, revolution, momentum and creation means to me, I see that I have given these words extensive, BIG definitions. For change to be important, it has to be BIG, unless it is a massive movement in the right direction, it means nothing – apparently. I have realized that this way of thinking has many times caused me to glance over what is HERE, taking the opportunities in my life for granted, and not effectively using the opportunities in my life to CHANGE.

The fascinating thing is that change many times is impossible in the big, that is, unless the small has been changed first. Because the big is constituted by the small. Our money system for example is constituted by many, many small/individual human beings, all with their own lives, and all contributing in some way or another to our current way of handling money. Thus, to try and change the big, which in this case would be the money system, and expect it to work, without as well having changed the small, the individual human beings relationship to money, that is not possible. And in my personal life, the same reasoning can be applied. If I want to really contribute to a life that is best on a big, global scale, then I must first walk it in the small. Can I even hope to make a difference in the big, which without a doubt will pose more of a challenge, if I have not even changed the small for myself? No – not possible.

This week I have pushed myself to become aware of the small points in my life and experience of myself that I want to change. It is things like changing how I wake up in the morning, how I walk to work, how I dress for work, how I am with my daughter when changing her diapers, how I am with myself. It is things like how I engage and participate at work, at home, and with friends and family. Do I really move myself, engage and flow as much as I could do, or is there an unexplored potential to be found?

When change is brought back to the small, it is easier to see what points there are that needs direction. If I look at only the big, out there, change becomes cumbersome, uncertain, because, what to change? Where to focus? Where to go? It is so big, where should I direct my attention? While, when I bring my attention back to the small, it is clear what must be changed – because it is right here in front of me – it is easy to see what I can do for myself that would make my life and that are part of my life a whole lot better. And then, what is missed when the focus gets placed on changing the big, is how, when I become and feel better, this will influence the people that I am in contact with in my life.

The small, the apparently insignificant, the points that are taken for granted, that is where change happens – and that is where I have a direct access to self-change. It is in the small moments where I am able to build and work towards creating the big moments, and hence, it is important to remember, that anything big, is made up out small parts.

The solution for myself is the following: When I notice that I am judging my environment/where or with whom I am with – because I feel as if it does not offer the opportunity for change that I want – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to focus on creating and building/moving change in the small and the apparently insignificant – I commit myself to be attentive to all parts in my life – to be attentive and look at the small that I want to change – to recognize these parts and to push myself to change them – and thus – accumulate a change in the big through committing to and changing in the small.


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Day 425: Revisiting STRUCTURE

This week I have returned to look at the word STRUCTURE and one person that supports me a lot when it comes to practically applying and living this word is my partner, because in many areas of her life, she is very structured – and one such area is cooking.

When I was younger, my way of cooking used to be very chaotic. Let us say that I were supposed to cook beef, potatoes and some sauce. I would then throw myself into it without prior considerations, and probably, begin frying the meat, while at the same time trying to peel the potatoes and stirring the sauce, hence creating a very chaotic environment for myself – thus no structure.

Through my partner, I have come to appreciate planning, preparation and considering the process of cooking before embarking on the journey. Hence, what I do now, is that I will prepare all the raw material, before I begin to do something with it. Hence I will peel all the potatoes, I will cut the meat, and I will pick out the ingredients for the sauce. By doing this, I have been able to create a much more relaxing and rewarding relationship with cooking, and obviously, I have become a better cook. Though, there are still points that I want to improve and expand upon in relation to my cooking.

The first point is to learn to slow down to read the recipe, preferably two times, so that I make sure that I know the steps needed to be walked to cook the dish. This practice of slowing down and looking/investigating/researching before I move and act is actually something that I would like to integrate in other parts of my life as well – because I have a tendency of moving too fast. When I get excited about something, I want to move NOW – however – the problem with this is that I will then many times miss points and make unnecessary mistakes, that could have been easily prevented with a little bit of forethought.

Another cool example of living structure that I realized as of late had to do with removing rust on my car. I had been thinking of removing the rust for a while, however, I had only thought about it, and not really planned how I would do it, for instance, where I would park the car, what kind of materials I would use, how long it would take, etc. Then one day, I just began, I put the car outside and started removing the rust spots, and naturally, it began to rain as I was applying the new coating. I stopped, and looked at what I was doing. I could see and feel that I was moving in a state of stress and excitement, I wanted to move, move, move, and get done, move ahead, apply – however – in that state of stress/excitement – I was missing to PLAN and take into CONSIDERATION my environment – and effectively preparing myself and my surroundings so that I would be able to walk through my project successfully.

I then decided to change direction. I used about two hours to clear out the garage, to prepare a work bench, electricity and effective lightning, preparing my environment for the operation I was about to commence, until I satisfied and content. Then I began anew with my project, and this time it flowed A LOT better.

Thus, similar to cooking, in making minor reparations on my car, it is very supportive to prepare, plan, look ahead, and structure my movement and my environment, before moving on to the actual production. Though, it is fascinating, that at times, this preparatory phase does not feel as real, as important, as significant as the actual ‘production’ phase – and I will actually resist spending the necessary time, preparing the point. However, this is a faulty proposition, because ALL parts of the project, is in-fact, however indirectly, connected to the actual production, and will all have an influence on the finished result. And it is the same with cooking. The cooking process will be a lot less stressful, and hence, there will be more time to direct the specifics, and make sure that the details are in place.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to jump immediately to the ‘productive phase’ of a particular project/expression and not prepare or structure my movement beforehand, and hence, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how it is that I am in-fact compromising the finished result, compromising my expression, because structuring, and preparing, are actually important aspects of the process and indirectly impacts the finished result of whatever it is that I am participating within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that by placing focus on the finished result and the direct actions that result in the finished result, and not looking at the entire process of creation as a whole, I am limiting myself and my movement within the point, and I am compromising the finished result, as I am not allowing myself to structure my movement, to create a sound foundation from which I am able to move and create myself and express myself within the particular project that I am taking part in

Self-commitment statement

When and as I feel stress, excited and anxious to get going, and I want to move on a project without structuring it, preparing for it, and considering the walking of the project, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that I have consistently proven to myself, that I will do a lot better, and the finished result will be much more effective, when I take time to structure my movement, when I take time to look at what is required and needed, and how to best facilitate my movement, and then, when I have made that plan, move myself forward – thus I commit myself to practice preparation, structure, slowing down, and using the time that I need, in order to walk a point of creation methodically and slowly, to get it done in the best way possible.


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Day 420: Last-Chance-U

I have been watching a Netflix series called Last-Chance-U for a couple of a weeks now, and wow, what an awesome show. The series, which is a documentary, follows various persons involved in the junior college football team Mississippi East, and the Mississippi East community college. Its a wide range of personalities, from apathetic teenagers seeking a better life, to those seeking fame and fortune and hope to reach the NFL, to the trainers and coaches, some of whom, lives and breathes football.

Not only is the show really good, in the sense that it documents, and follows the involved participants without trying to impose upon them any kind of moral or ethics, or ‘make a point’ – it also gives a very interesting view into the human psyche. And since watching the series I have utilized the insights I gained through the show to reflect it back on myself.

There is especially one point that is prominent and general throughout the series, and that is how much all the involved persons rely on emotions to move themselves. The coaching of the players is built around the philosophy that you ‘have to be hard, else the players go slack, and they will not push themselves to their fullest’. Hence, the coaches, on many occasions, will scream, shout, attack personally, call out players, telling them they are bad, they are not doing right, they do not understand, and that they will ‘removed from the team unless they get their shit together’. It is quite clear that the intention of this approach is to generate a emotional response, and the idea behind it, is that this will then stimulate the players to do better.

Many of the players also have academic difficulties. And one of the more common problems is lack of movement. Few have the discipline and commitment required to sit down and study for longer periods of time. And hence, what many players tends to do, is that they wait, until consequences start emerging, then they will react in a emotional response of fear, and start moving themselves. Only when a emotion arise do they move themselves, thus similar to how the coaches rely on instigating emotions in their players to generate movement.

Thus, the idea that we need emotions to move ourselves, that is the general theme I picked up on. Though why do we believe that? Through my own process, what I have learned is that emotions, sure they can motivate me to move, however, the movement will seldom be as effective as it could have been, mostly because emotional movement lacks rationale and is not logically sound. It is just a movement, intense at best, however, as the emotion fades away, so does the movement, and then, another crisis or difficult experience is required to generate the next batch of emotions to fuel movement. And obviously, life becomes stressful and pressured, because movement goes from crisis to release, from crisis to release, from crisis to release, over and over again – WHEN – instead movement could be achieved through a DECISION.

Yes, it can be that simple. All we require is a decision. For example, to decide, that I will commit myself to study intently, with dedication and focus, until I am able to graduate from this school. There is no emotion required to make such a decision. There is no emotion required to see what is best for us, what makes sense, what is COMMON SENSE, and then to act upon it. All we need is our reasoning skills, and our body, and the rest, well that is up to us – if we will actually do it or not.

This is called SELF-MOVEMENT and when people realize how it works, it will undoubtedly revolutionize sports as well as our education. Because, we really do not need to invoke that deep passion for winning or the fear of losing within us, in order to do our best, and in order to perform outstandingly, all we need is ourselves.


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