Tag Archives: opportunity

Day 385: How I Make Decisions

Due to computer issues I have been away from active writing for a while. My computer is now fully functional yet again and hence my writing will resume.

In my life there has opened up a career opportunity. Looking at it objectively, it is a very good opportunity. It is a choice of career that is lucrative and does not demand too much in time and effort. The point that I have been unsure about, and that I have spent time looking at, is whether the opportunity suits me or not.

When I look at making decisions and future prospects, my aim is to firstly, remove all the feeling and emotional connotations to the point. In this instance, the opportunity triggered a sense of importance and feeling special, and also desire to have money. What also became triggered was a fear of missing out, and a fear of not moving into the direction that I initially foresaw/imagined. These experiences are not relevant, and would I keep them as dimensions to consider in the decision making process, the result will not be trustworthy. Emotions and feelings are ephemeral and mercurial. Basing decisions on such loosely defined energies will result in unwanted outcomes. This is because at some point, the feelings might suddenly disappear or shift into a different direction, and then the decision made has no validity.

The second step is to list/define all the pros and cons in relation to the decision. This is a fascinating process, because sitting down and deeply considering a decision, and its implications, will open up a range of new dimensions. The decision can have outflows and impact indirectly in other parts of my life and in ways that I did not see until I defined the pros and cons  and placed them on a paper in-front of me. It also helps slowing down and creating an overview.

Something else that can be seen is that some pros will feel more important within, and then when placed without on a piece of paper, they will seem insignificant. This is because certain pros and cons will be charged with either feelings or emotions – and those charged aspects will appear to be more important when looked at in the mind. However in physical reality, a different point, that is not charged with an energy, can be the most important. An example would be the following. A fear that is coming up within me, and a point that I have defined as a con, is that I will not pursue the type of law that I initially foresaw/envisioned myself doing. I will instead learn/apply a more bureaucratic and unpopular kind of law. This also triggers the fear that I will be unhappy in my chosen career. This point felt big and important. However when I looked at my pros and cons list – it was practically speaking not that big of a deal. What stood out to me was instead that the career decision offered me a possibility to work flexible hours and from various locations. I would not be bogged down in one office space. And I realized that for the future I want to create for myself, this is very important to me.

When the pros and cons have been listed – the next step is to weigh the pros and cons to reach a final conclusion. The result of measuring the pros and cons against each other is dependent on what principle/value system you use to determine the importance of each point. I use the principle of what is best for all. This means that the decision is not only about me. I must take into account how my decision will impact others. And with regards to some decisions, it will impact a few people negatively, while it will impact myself and a few others positively. At times it is not obvious which decision is the best. In such instances it can be of support to ask someone else for perspective or do a test-run. For example, if the decision is about moving, to then see whether it is possible to move for a short time only to experience the difference.

With regards to decision I am faced with, my family is an important dimension to look at. How does my decision and direction effect my daughter or my wife? Because even though a particular venue and career path can be my passion and hearts desire, it is not necessarily the path that will lead to the greatest and best outflows for everyone involved. Thus, I do not agree with the current popular idea that we should at all times ‘follow our hearts and dreams’ – reality and the outflows of our decision must be considered and take primacy. And even though we ourselves might feel good about the outflows of a decision – the potential physical and mental consequences we could or will inflict on others will most certainly outweigh that positive state we ourselves could reach.

When I have walked through the above mentioned steps, I am ready to make a decision. I pick the option that I see is best for all. And then comes the challenge of sticking to and living by the decision, however that topic deserves a blog post of its own.


 

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Day 384: Expansion and Opportunity

Expansion and opportunity – for me these are words connected with movement, the future, dreaming, challenges, distant countries and places and discovering things. I tend to look at expansion and opportunity as a point that is not yet here – however it could be here if I just participate in that thought, vision, imagination and idea of the future – then my life could be filled with expansion and opportunity.

The consequence of this kind of thinking is that everyday life lacks expansion and opportunity – because these experiences/words are projected into the future/mind. Instead of having my focus HERE and spotting where there is room for expansion and where there are opportunities opening up – I am wandering in my mind looking at the illusions of opportunities presented.

However – the thing with the mind is that it never gets real. And when we are able to realize our dreams and imaginations it is never the way we imagined it – and that is because the mind is not designed to be a guide to reality – it is designed to be a trap – a place where we forget ourselves and our lives to be entertained by pictures, feelings and emotions.

I used to go online and search for and read about online courses. Sometimes I would apply and get admitted – though usually I would remain at the level of only reading. I realized that this behavior was an addiction. I was addicted to the energy of imagining myself learning and expanding in a new education. It was not about actual expansion, it was about the idea of expansion. Real expansion happens in a real time moment. It happens here. Thus what I have started to do is to move this energy of expansion into my physical life here. When this desire to imagine comes up within me, I move myself back here, and look at how I am able to expand what I am doing right here, and right now. And regardless of where I am, or what I am doing, there is always something to expand upon.

For example, cooking, it is something that I do many times a day. Usually I have not given it much thought or energy – I just go through the motions and try to achieve a meal that is good enough to be eaten. Though I realized that the time I spend cooking is a moment that I can use to expand. I am able to improve on my cooking skills. I can learn to chop vegetables better, I can learn more about the nutritional value of the ingredients and how they effect my body. There is a ton of dimensions to cooking that I have not yet developed a relationship with. Hence – I started to expand this relationship. I started living expansion for real in my relationship with cooking – and that was a big difference.

Thus, it is easy to through the mind create an experience of expansion, or dream about expansion. That feeling will never get real. To have expansion in your life as a reality – you have to push yourself to make something more out of the daily and recurring events in your life.


Day 375: Opportunities

This past week I have been working with opportunities. A tendency I have is to compare my life to that of others. Naturally, it always seems as if I am worse off, which in turn can make me feel depressed. I will then stagnate and move my attention/focus unto what I should have done and what I have missed because I did not do it. This is problematic because it causes me to miss the life that is right in front of me.

That is why I have been practicing recognizing and moving on opportunities that come through. In can be small things. Still, if I am in my mind, I will miss them. For example, it can be that I meet someone that I have not seen in a long time. I then have the opportunity to do something more out of that interaction, which could be done by for example eating a lunch together. However the opportunity can be much more vague and difficult to spot. It can be a idea to do something that comes up while I drive my car. If I am not on my toes its easy to dismiss such things as daydreaming. Though it can be a worthwhile notion to move on. Who knows? That is why it is important to not worry about the life of others and compare myself and what I am doing with what others are doing.

The biggest issue that I have had with comparison have been in relation to my work. And this has been a reason as to why I have not dared to commit to any one direction or focus. I want to keep all roads free, because what if I make the wrong decision? What if I do not make the right choice, and then at the end of the day, I will compare my choice and realize that I was wrong? This fear inhibits my expression of moving on opportunities, interests, what fascinates and intrigues me, because I can never be sure where these will take me.

Where does comparison come from? From what I am able to see, comparison is a type of insecurity. It is cultivated with self-judgment, doubt, anxiety, and desires to be successful and famous. When I was a child I had no issues with comparison because all that existed was my life HERE. The decisions I made where fully my own. I did not care about whether someone else did the same or something different compared to me. My presence and enjoyment in the moment encompassed all of my inner reality – there was no room for comparison – every inch of me was needed HERE to express and live. And that is an important thing to take with me. That comparison cannot exist when I am FULLY engaged and present in the moment and in what I am doing.

The solution to be more awake and ready to move on the opportunities that present themselves is to be fully breathing – fully living – fully HERE. Comparing my life to that of others is really only a symptom of not living fully here – it shows me that I am accepting and allowing myself to do things halfheartedly, without intensity and passion – it shows me that I am thinking too much and not living. It is thus a opportunity in itself to investigate where it is that I am holding myself back and correct it.


Day 342: Creating Expansion, Movement and Challenges

A year ago I finished my education and some months thereafter I began my first job. I have now worked at this job for about a year, and up until some months ago, I found most of the activities within my job refreshing and enjoyable. Most of the things were new to me, and hence I was challenged daily, which I loved. I had to really push, and exert myself to learn and expand. Then without much warning, I was through the difficult times. I had learned the basics of the job, and I was moving myself quite effortlessly within my responsibilities.

What then opened up was an experience of boredom. I could see that I was plateauing in my growth process, however, I did not see that as my responsibility. I thought that the fault was in my job, and that I had now learned the basics of my position, and that there was thus nothing in it for me any longer. What started to come through more and more was emotions; blame, depression, tiredness, apathy and listlessness. I did not see the enjoyment in my work anymore, because the challenge was gone.

Looking back at my life, I have had a tendency of taking on a new craft or skill, pushing myself diligently to learn and master it, and then, when I started to feel as if I was plateauing, I would give up and move unto something different. The consequence of this behavior was that I did not learn something in depth – I was a jack of all trades, yet master of none. This is similar to what I have been going through recently, where my job is no longer a novelty and does not supply me with challenges, difficulties, and points to overcome. It has become a job, something I know, and have to do, and nothing more.

Now, when I look at this point, one thing that stands out is how I have approached tasks, projects, skills, and also work, within a form of laziness. Not laziness from the perspective that I  compromised my work, though laziness in the sense that I expected and wanted my work or the project to give me a challenge. Inside my mind, I viewed the point I was walking into as a ‘fun house’ that was supposed to refresh and charge me up – however when the novelty disappeared – that did not happen anymore. Hence, I was lazy from the perspective that I expected to be moved, to be inspired, to be stimulated, to be pushed, and I did not approach to point from the starting point of ME standing the point of taking responsibility for myself, that I would challenge myself, that I would push myself, that I would find ways and seek new venues and expressions, so that I could move and further myself within the particular skill/ability/project/work.

The problem thus has never been, with reference to this instance, my work – no – it has always been my relationship to work, how I decided to approach and look at work. Challenge, novelty, movement, expansion, and pushing myself, I should never have expected that my work would give that to me. Obviously, when something is new, it will for a moment be challenging, however, when that honeymoon phase is past, I must take responsibility to push myself, and expand myself within my profession. At that point I cannot rely upon my work doing anything for me. Instead, I must take matter into my own hands and actively look at where I am able to learn more, where I am able to expand, where I can push and enhance myself, and where I am able to further my expression.

It is fascinating thus to see, that so far, the technique that I have used to challenge myself, has been to look up and try to place myself in challenging environments, through changing jobs, changing education, or committing myself to a new hobby. Even though this has supported me and spiced things up, it has also been a limitation, as I have not taken the responsibility, taken matter into my own hands, and really, diligently pushed myself to expand where I was at.

And another thing to take into consideration is that I can only become really good at something, if I do it several times. If I only skim the surface, how can I then ever become an expert in my field? It is not possible. In-fact, it is not the routine and repetition in itself that has been bothering me, the big problem is that I react to routine and repetition and believe myself to be limited and contained. Though, this is not true, even though there might be routine and repetition in my life, there is always room to expand, explore, push, improve and move further.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that my job will reinvent itself, and stimulate me, and that my job is going to make my life enjoyable, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that I am not able to rely upon my job, that I am not able to blame my job when I feel that I am stuck in a rut, without expanding or improving – and in-fact – the real problem is that I have not taken self-direction in my relationship with work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be stimulated instead of taking self-responsibility and looking at how I am able to stimulate myself within what I am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect to be stimulated – and thus not push and drive myself to expand – to look at how I am able to empower myself – strengthen myself – push myself – and will myself to become more effective within what I am doing – and thus I commit myself to each day – look at how I can expand – to never be satisfied with where I am at – but constantly push myself to reach new heights of expression and direction – to not be satisfied with being ‘good’ at something – but push myself to become excellent within what I am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself to reach excellency – to use that as a motivation regardless of where I am at – to not accept and allow myself to be satisfied with mediocrity – to be average – to know something quite well – and quite effective – but to push myself to become an expert within what I am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I plateau – this is when I must push myself – to look for ways in which I am able to expand and enhance myself – to look for ways in which I am able to acquire further skills – abilities – and strengths – to look at my life and critically examine it – to see if and whether I am able to do more – to see whether I am able to acquire and expand myself within some area of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame work as boring when I know it effectively – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that work should stimulate me – instead of me taking self-responsibility and making sure that I stand as the point of stimulation – that I stand as the point of self-responsibility – that I stand as the point of pushing myself forward – placing no limits on myself – and looking at how and where I am able to expand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not develop a passion for life – in the sense of always looking at how I am able to expand and move myself forward to the next stage of development

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not develop and push myself to create a passion for expansion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to reach and build a life where I am satisfied – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that satisfaction, oftentimes goes hand in hand with complacency – where we become lazy, and stop the process of exploration and movement that we would otherwise walk – and thus I commit myself to embrace dissatisfaction – to use it as a motivation to empower and move myself – to use it as a motivation to enhance myself – and bring myself to the next level of development

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that nothing is going to come by itself – that nothing is going to happen by itself – and that if I want challenges in my life – then I must actively pursue and create them – I must actively look at how I am able to make my life challenging – through for example – in my work – looking at how I am able to expand my understanding of work – of how I am able to take on more tasks and responsibilities at work – of looking at how I am able to really expand and become effective at my work

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself blaming my world, my reality, for being boring, not challenging, routine and repetition with no movement, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I stop – and I see, realize and understand, that for movement, change and expansion to happen, I must move myself, I must push myself, I cannot expect that things will simply happen by themselves, as they will not – and thus I commit myself to be on my toes – and to continuously be on the look out for how I am able to change myself – push and expand myself – and reach the next stage of development and expression

I commit myself to take self-responsibility for making my life challenging, expansive, fulfilling, and enjoyable – through not expecting to be stimulated – but rather – pushing and willing myself to improve and expand – constantly being on the look out for opportunities – and seizing the opportunities when they arise


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 320: The Solution to Negativity

Put on the news for a while, and then analyze the content for yourself, was it negative or positive? Then, do the same with your inner backchat, observe it for a while, and then see if it is more negative than positive. Most likely, what you will find is that there is a lot more negativity than positivity. This is nothing wrong per say, it is simply how we have set up our minds, and thus our external reality, to function. However, this way of looking at life does lead to consequences and does create limitations. Most importantly, being caught in the negative precludes an active search for SOLUTIONS and it causes us to forget our POTENTIAL and the OPPORTUNITIES that are here which can be utilized to enhance our lives.

In order to expound on this point I am going to utilize an example from my own life, where I could clearly see, that my way of approaching the situation in a state of negativity, further cemented and procreated that negativity, in the other words, a form of snowballing. I moved to a farm situated on the countryside about a year ago and I do enjoy many aspects of the rural life, though from time to time I have missed living in a more populated area. This conflict was intense as I first moved here, and I had a tendency on only focusing on what was bad with the countryside; it was far to the nearest shop, there were few career opportunities, there were no people around with interest similar to mine, and I had many more responsibilities to handle when compared to living in a small apartment. I thought to myself that I had made a big mistake.

Then, slowly, I started to open up to the countryside, and I naturally acquired new hobbies that are connected to living on a farm, such as gardening, maintenance and upkeep of machines and houses as well as learning about animals and plants. I decided to explore bees and applied for a bee-keeping course, and got to know a lot of new people living in my neighborhood, many of them interested and passionate about plants and insects. A new life started to take shape, a life that I was curious to explore and get to know, and that I actually experienced more passion and interest towards if compared with the hobbies I had while I was living in the town.

This process of growth and expansion took place naturally as I started to embrace my new living situation and push myself to interact and participate physically – HERE – instead of being in my mind thinking about what could have, or what should have been. Hence, as I embraced life HERE – I began to see the opportunities right in front of me – I began to see a future and a potential for myself on the farm – something that was here all the time but that I had not had the ability to create or walk into before as I was too much in my mind.

What I have come to realize through this process is the importance of WHO WE ARE within what we do – it is not about whether we live in a town, or on the countryside, and it is not about whether we got the we always dreamt of, or are able to pursue the hobby we always desired – it is about what we do with it – it is about HOW we approach it, how we RELATE to it, WHO we decide to be; that is what makes all the difference. The fact that I have been able to expand and embrace the countryside has nothing to do with where I live, it was because I stopped thinking about where I lived, and placed my attention on CREATING my potential. And the nice thing about our potential is that it never goes away, it is always here, within us, ready to be developed and realized and put into manifestation regardless of where we are or what we do.

What we can all learn from this is that when we feel negative, depressed or hopeless about our current situation and environment, instead of going into that experience, we can realign our focus and look at and hold within us, our POTENTIAL. To see our potential, we must come back to reality, we must let go of that murmuring backchat in the mind and embrace what is physically here, and then, when we are here, we can begin to see how we are able to create ourselves within the given circumstances in a way that is best for ourselves, and . And sure, it is important to recognize that which we are dissatisfied with, however, it is equally important to take that dissatisfaction into a physical movement, of changing and directing ourselves, and our lives, to become better. There is always a potential, a best practice, and our job is to find it, hold it, and not let it go from our sights until it is HERE as a physical manifestation. This way we are actually doing something productive with our negative state, as we utilize it is a force of creativity, to push ourselves to make the best of ourselves.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 241: Existential Anxiety

Do you feel stressed? Do you have this experience of stress because you feel that you must ‘use’ life to it’s maximum, yet the time just seem to be slipping away from you? Do you feel like life is moving away day by day and no matter how much you try to retain the time, be effective with it, and do the most; it just streams downwards, days becomes weeks, weeks becomes months, and months years, and so it goes through the years?

existential_anxietyI define this type of experience that is described above as ‘existential anxiety’ – which is basically the understanding and realization that life on earth is limited in time – though instead of seeing that as a fact it becomes a point of conflict. For me the conflict exists within my desire to do and achieve things, versus the point of not being able to do so (aka death). Thus, the misalignment that exists here, and that is the cause of this existential anxiety, is the point of me defining myself according to what I want to do and achieve – instead of walking in this world but not being OF this world.

For example, one of the points that I want to manifest in my life is to become a lawyer; now this is a point that takes a lot of effort, and patience to bring into physical manifestation – many years of work. In order to walk this point you’ve to dedicate yourself – though this hasn’t really been the issue – instead the conflict has arisen in relation to me wanting to do other things with my life as well – not only lawyering. And because the point of creating a career takes up lots of space in my schedule, it becomes difficult to make time for other goals that I also wish to have manifest in my life.

Thus, conflict ensues, a conflict that has it’s roots in the unrealistic mindset of “I want/can to do everything!” – because obviously: This mindset of “I want/can to do everything” is NOT in alignment with physical reality and time – because in this world you do have a certain amount of time, and with it you can only do a set amount of things. Hence you can’t do everything you want to do, you must make some DECISIONS and then prioritize your time – and within that come to peace with the fact that you will unavoidably “miss out” on other life paths that you could’ve taken.

So, life as it’s currently set-up forces you to make decisions, to decide on a hand, and play that hand – now – this is unavoidable – and due to the nature of time you can’t play with more cards than what the rules allow – you are forced to make a decision. This is reality – THOUGH – the real question is – must we react to this reality? Must we exist within this experience of existential anxiety? Do we have to run around chasing time for us to be able to do as much as possible, and constantly feel conflicted about not doing enough?

The answer is NO – and here I will give the solution and key that we can live to transcend existential anxiety: The solution is to in our daily lives walk according to the words/phrase “be in this world but not of this world” – so, what does this phrase imply?

Well, it means that we walk in this world, we make our decisions, select our path, and our direction, and we create our reality to be a certain way – where for example I will probably experience my reality in the role of a lawyer – BUT – this role, this position, the life I lead – it doesn’t define ME – it doesn’t limit ME – instead I stand with myself, in breath, and in every moment I make sure that I express myself, which is something that I can do everywhere regardless of what circumstance or situation I find myself in. This point of expression isn’t limited to my circumstances – because expression is WHO I AM.

Thus the key is to walk, and participate in this system, yet understand that what we do in this world can’t ever define the entirety of WHO WE ARE as beings – for a moment we play a role, and go into a position, and we live out a certain life – even still – WE ARE HERE – and regardless of what I do, the most important relationship that I have to tend to and direct will be that with myself – and this will not change REGARDLESS of where I am – the questions I ask myself will always be the same: Who am I? Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I? – And these can only be answered effectively one moment at a time through me being self-honest with myself.

To summarize: Existential anxiety is something we create through defining ourselves according to what we do, and believing that we have to limit ourselves as being dependent on what job we have, what purpose we’ve given to ourselves, and what general direction we’ve decided to walk into – but the truth is that – we don’t have to limit ourselves. We can walk, and be IN this world but not OF this world – meaning that we walk this lifetime within the understanding the physical reality has certain unavoidably limitations – yet we don’t accept and allow these limitations to define who we are as beings, and how we exist within ourselves, and how we create our relationship with ourselves.

Day 224: Seeing The Opportunities Here

For some months now I’ve been in the process of contemplating and looking at where I’m able to go with my career and how I can define and move it in such a way so that I can create an outcome that would not only be best for me – but best for all. This have been an interesting journey, because I’ve had many realizations as to what it really does mean to move myself within this world to create an effect and have a influence.

The most prominent realization I’ve had is that the opportunity to create a position for myself in the world system, a direction and purpose that I’m able to walk and through that have an effect, is not something that is existent OUT THERE in the future – rather – the opportunities to create value in the lives of others is a prospect that is existent HERE. I’ve found that I wanted to have this perfect point in the system, for example to work as a humanitarian lawyer, and in that promote change – and immediately – from the get go – be in a position that would allow me to voice the message of creating a better life for all of humanity – though – this is NOT how it works.

Because the things is that we exist in a system that for such a long time have only functioned within and around very primitive motives and drives – most of the organizations out there have a limited starting point; such as helping societies outcasts to achieve food and a roof over their head, or supporting impoverished children to achieve an education, or collecting funding for some new vaccine – there is almost NO group that focuses on a solution that would correct the origin problems of our society. THOUGH – the thing is that when we walk out into the system, and place ourselves in a position – we can’t expect that point to immediately be effective and aligned according to the principles we see would bring a permanent change – rather – we must CREATE that position to become that change.

So, with regards to a career and placing myself in the system, what I see is that regardless of what point I place myself within – it’s going to be up to me to change and direct that point to become a life-supporting and nourishing complement to this world – it’s not going to be that from the get go – I must build it, will it, and bring it into fruition.

And thus – it’s not about the career, the profession, or where I place myself in the world, it’s about WHO I AM within what I do – and thus I can place myself in for example, the position of the corporate lawyer – and from within that point find directions, loopholes, and potentials that I can start to build on – support and enhance to be able to bring through a more supportive and effective existence. For example, as a corporate lawyer, one could make it a purpose for oneself to assist and support new and upcoming businesses free of charge, seeing that such businesses hold potential and value that will assist and support humanity as a whole – thus changing the profession, directing the career, molding it according to WHO I AM instead of wanting the career and profession to give all the answers and already be a pre-set route where it’s all already done.

This realization has been important to me, because now I’m able to see that the stress, and doubt I’ve experienced towards making the decision of where I’m to place myself isn’t in-fact relevant – it takes my focus away from that which is important – which is ME and WHO I AM in every moment of breath. Because WHO I AM is the in-fact the foundation of everything that I do in my life – and it will determine the outcome of all points that I decide to take on and walk into. Thus – to select a path is a point of practicality and also of seeing where one have the necessary skills to be able to walk one’s career effectively – though the point of using that career and path to make a difference in this world – that is a matter of WHO I AM – a point of being CREATIVE and OPEN to possibilities and to see things from new perspectives – and not get caught up in the idea that I can only affect change through these select few and limited professions and career paths – CHANGE is something we bring into this world because WE decide to do so – not because our professions makes it possible for us to do it.

And maybe that is the true meaning of the word activist – someone that is ACTIVE in creating their life and purpose regardless of the position they find themselves within in this world.