Tag Archives: participate

Day 413: Putting Ourselves Out There

Lately I have met many interesting people, with new views and perspectives on reality, that would assist and support if they became common knowledge. However, a point that I have realized as of late, is the importance of making sure that one share those ideas/perspectives in some way with the world. And there are unfortunately only a few of these people, with valuable insights and knowledge, that share themselves with the world, in mediums that will be accessible for many people, or in some other way make themselves known in a way that would affect a larger mass of people.

The perfect example of this I would say is politics. Many of us see parts of society that are able to be improved, we see solutions and we see new ways of tackling long standing problems. However, few of us bring that knowledge/insight into the public sphere – into the sphere of politics. Instead, we blame the current politicians for not solving the problems. And instead of us contributing, we stand back, and feel good about ourselves for being able to see the problems, while not standing up, to offer and work on tangible, concrete and long-term solutions.

It is thus a fascinating pattern of self-sabotage, our tendency to stand back, not share ourselves, not put ourselves out there, and then to blame others for not doing, what we see we could do, if we would have stood up and moved ourselves. Fascinating, and also, unnecessary and very destructive. Because how much could we not have changed, if all those capable, would have stood up and moved themselves?

Hence, what I have come to see, realize and understand in my process of self-change, is the importance of taking part, participating in the world and the current system, regardless of how it is done. To make sure that I do not isolate myself in a group where my sphere of influence remains limited, but that I push myself to move outwards. And that is something I do through blogging, though it does not really matter how it is done, it could be through vlogging or meetings in the physical, and it can be done anonymously – the point of importance is to is to in some way GET OUT THERE and BE an active PARTICIPANT in the shaping and creating of our current society and world.

Being an active PARTICIPANT – that is what I see as living with PASSION = Pass-It-On. Living with passion entails making sure that my strengths are shared with the world, that I pass them on, that I show and stand as an example. Because that is what I would have liked others to do for me. If I have a weakness, and someone else is strong in that area of their life, I would have wanted them to make sure that they share themselves and through that, show me, how I am able to transform my weaknesses into a strength.

Because fact is that no man is an island. We do live in a community, we are dependent on each-other, and hence, as a community, we will only ever be as strong as the weakest among us. That is why we ourselves also have an interest in making sure that we are heard, that we share ourselves and that we voice ourselves – because at the end of the day – that will also benefit us.


Learn more about this way of living

Day 293: Being Social and Outgoing

Being social and outgoing, for some that might be easy, for others, me included, it is difficult and oftentimes something connected with resistance and insecurity. For me, I have felt comfortable standing more in the background when it comes to social interactions, and especially in group contexts. My preference have been, and still is, to interact with, and get to know people on a one on one basis and move forward in a slow tempo. However, in this world, that type of interaction is many times not possible, and in the professional world, we are many times expected to be outgoing, social, look happy, and pleasant. And unfortunately, we tend to judge on the basis of first impression, and then create our relationship with each other on the basis of that, instead of getting to know the other individual on a more deep, and intimate level, which always takes time.

So, in the professional world, and generally speaking, creating relationships in the world system demands that we develop and utilize the skill of creating a positive first impression. Not that much is required for a successful first impression, it is usually just being dressed properly, smiling, asking how the other person is doing. Though for me, this has been hard, because I feel like a sell out – because inside of me I am not really feeling/living that happiness/smile – or that real interest when I am asking how the other person is doing – it is currently an act made from a starting point of survival.

Now, I do see that there is a potential to change this interaction with other people, from being survival driven, to instead be self-driven – where the starting point is not ‘making a good impression’ – but rather sharing myself with another person in a moment – hence – giving of myself to another person in a moment through my words, my actions, and my behavior – showing to them that I am there with them in that moment and that I am meeting them – seeing them in that moment – recognizing them and allowing them into my world.

Thus, what must change within me is WHO I AM when approaching another person, and instead of being self-conscious, and worried about how the other person sees me, to instead be open, and comfortable, and sharing myself with the other person, giving that person a moment of my time where my presence and awareness is fully HERE – where they can feel that I am present – I am here – and that I am meeting them.

Why? Because that is how I would like another to meet me. I would like them to see me, and recognize me as an equal, and that they would take some time to get to know me, to ask me some questions, and open up a line of communication. There are very few people that are able to do this, and those few that are, I am immediately able to notice it in how I relax with them, and naturally open up in my expression – because I can see that they accept me and allow me to come into their world for a moment and take up their attention.

There is a potential to create these unconditional moments of meeting other people everyday in the world system. It is all a matter of how we define the relationship. If we label it as only being a professional relationship, then that is all it will ever be. If we however are open and unconditional, and we give of ourselves, maybe that relationship will develop in another direction. I have been able to see this for myself, where I have initially created a label for a relationship such as being professional, and then, as I have communicated more with the person, the relationship have changed, opened up, and become a lot more deep and intimate.

It is really cool what can develop if we are open, and if we give of ourselves through being present, here, aware, and make an effort to get to know others, communicate, see others, and recognize them for their skills, and unique potential. Though, it does not come by itself, as I mentioned, it requires effort and a push – especially if we have a tendency to withdraw – then there must be a daily pushing outwards until that point of unconditional giving in social situations is established.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change socialization, meeting new people, interacting, and speaking into a self-expression – a moment where I give of myself to another unconditionally – where I am present and aware as I for a moment meet another – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to corrupt this meeting of another human being into being only about survival, about fitting in, about being accepted – instead of seeing it as a moment of connecting with another universe and the opportunities such a connection can provide

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that every meeting with a new human being – is an opportunity to expand myself – and an opportunity for me to get to know someone else – to get a new and fresh look on life as I look on life through the eyes of someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that in order to change my relationship with meeting new people, I will have to push through my comfort zones, and I will have to push the point of being HERE and OPEN and PARTICIPATE in the moment – pushing myself to be a part of the moment instead of withdrawing into myself and holding myself back in my zone of comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that meeting another, and creating relationships is an opportunity for me to expand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see relationships and meeting new people as a nuisance and as something that I do not particularly enjoy to do – yet something that I must force myself to do so that I am able to fit in – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change this to instead being ME – GIVING of myself – GIVING of myself as my self-expression – as my unique way of interacting with and looking at the world – and that I am as such able to assist and support others to expand equally as they are assisting and supporting me to expand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people based on first impression, to judge them on the basis of memories, and ideas of how people should behave, and to judge them on the basis of how I feel about them, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this judgment is not real – that it is an experience and not an actual knowing of the other person – and thus I commit myself to make the effort to get to know people for real through communicating with them – through being present and aware with them – through being HERE and not in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know someone when I have an experience about that person – and when I have seen how that person interacts in one situation and in one moment – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot know someone, and judge someone on the basis of one moment – and that people are much more than only one character in one moment, and that I can get to see this when I make the effort to get to know people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not show myself, and open myself up to people when I am interacting with them – to stand in my physical body in such a way that I am HERE and that I do not accept and allow myself to withdraw myself and go into a state of hiding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself out into the physical – through my body language – through my voice – through how I am standing and interacting here in this moment – to push myself outwards into this physical reality and stand

Self-commitments

When and as I see myself going into a state of hiding, through the way I place my body, with my shoulders slouching, looking downwards, and wanting to escape into myself, I stop, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is not a solution – and in order to get to know my reality, to get to know people, to expand – I must face it – be part of it – stand and move in it – and that is done through coming out of my body – out from hiding – and standing in the middle of it all facing life – and thus I commit myself to push myself to stand in my chest area – and push myself out into physical reality through my voice, my body language, and my presence

I commit myself to make the effort to get to know others through communication, interaction and participation – and I commit myself to create the comfort zone with others – where I can be myself – through consistently pushing myself to communicate and break the ice – break the isolation and the fear – and establish that real comfort zone – where I am comfortable in being with another and being myself – because I have created that comfort in my relationship with another person through communication and interaction

I commit myself to push through resistance and awkwardness that might come up as I make an effort to communicate, participate and interact – and I commit myself to see, realize and understand that it is a matter of practice

I commit myself to present, aware and here – and make the focus of a moment with another – that I GIVE myself unconditionally – that I SHARE myself unconditionally – and do not accept and allow myself to remain withdrawn and hidden far back inside of myself

Day 169: I Look Like an Actor!

Today I faced a reaction that played out in a humorous way. So, the context was the following: I was hanging out with some people, and we were discussing, interacting and participating – suddenly one of the individuals points out that I look a lot like an actor – and in that moment I immediately reacted in feeling boisterous, and swell – “HAHA I look like an actor!” – was my initial thought; that must mean I look really good!

Then the humorous twist entered into the picture, because the individual then proceeded to show me a picture of the actor I looked like, and to my disappointment the actor was an man in his fifties that wasn’t at all particularly attractive or good looking – and when I saw that I had this strong reaction of embarrassment as well as disappointment. What came up within me was also a form of tension in my chest area – and that was fear – the fear of being laughed and ridiculed in-front of others as not being attractive – but instead looking old and ugly.

Thus, in this blog I will work with this particular reaction that came up as anxiety, fear and embarrassment.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to how I look, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire others see me as beautiful, as a movie-star, as something that stands out as having a unique appeal, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become happy, and feel excited when and as I believe that someone is commenting on my appearance positively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as fear, anxiety and embarrassment when and as someone points out that I don’t have that picture perfect appearance and that I instead look old, and ugly, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to have others see me and value me according to my appearance, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my appearance is my everything, and that what people think of me is the most important thing in my life and that I as such require to look like a movie star and have people in my world think positively of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire that others are to comment upon me positively – and to speak of my looks positively – and to when and as they look at me – they are going to be impressed with me – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed within and as my desire to impress upon others with how I look

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto a memory of my past wherein my mother commented upon how I looked, and she said to me that I was beautiful and more so than others, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this memory, and think of myself that because my mother defined me, and told me that I was beautiful, and I had a positive experience in relation to this, that because of this it meant that I require to search and walk in my life in search for attempting and trying to re-create that experience and again have someone speak to me and tell me that I am beautiful and attractive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to have others care for me, and like me through me being attractive, and likable, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a positive experience, to search for a positive energy confirmation wherein my appearance is confirmed by another as being attractive and sexual, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself self-care, and self-love, and give to myself this point of being calm and at ease with myself regardless of how I look, or how others perceive me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need and require another to make me whole and to give me a warm feeling of care, and comfort, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto a memory of my mother commenting on my exterior, and saying to me that I am attractive, and beautiful, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed and controlled within and as this desire to be accepted and hold by another and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hold myself – and comfort myself – and accept and allow myself to stop searching for someone to comment upon me and create a feeling within me of me being whole – and that I instead in every moment breath myself back into my body and realize that I am here – that I am whole – that I am already what I require and what I need and that I don’t have to have someone comment positively on my physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried, concerned and nervous as to how others judge my exterior, as to how they judge how I smell, as to how they judge how I move myself, participate and speak – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as, and be on a constant search, and mission to attempt and try to be accepted by others, so that I can feel comforted, and cared for – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not comfort, and care for myself – and give myself that unconditional acceptance – that unconditional love of not anymore trying to fit in and be accepted and gain attention for something in my life – or how I look – or what I do – but that I am instead worthing myself unconditionally and that I stop trying to fight in order to become someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to how others look, and go into and as a competition with others, specifically males, wherein I want to show and prove to others that I have the most attractive exterior and appearance, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my value will come from me being seen as attractive, and as having a beautiful appearance, and having someone comment upon that – and that this is the only way that I’ll be able to stand up in this world and make something out of myself – through proving and showing to others that I am the most beautiful – and that I am the most attractive – and that I am the most desirable – in believing that my value is relative to the value I believe others have assigned to themselves

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am defining myself according to how I look, I stop, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am not limited nor defined by how I look – I decide my value, my worth and my purpose, not how I look – and thus I commit myself to breath myself back in my physical body – and be here physically with my touch, with my breath, with my senses, and feel my physical body and realize that this is what is real – not the image and the experience of my image that I have coming up in my mind

I commit myself to stop searching for someone to notice me and I commit myself to apply this point of me noticing myself as who I am – as a being – as someone that goes beyond looks and exterior appearance – and see that there is more to me than this – and thus I commit myself to value myself as how I express myself and how I walk and participate physically here – and not define myself through an image

Witnessing Isn’t Enough

Many of the religious ‘new age’ doctrines that arrive from the fear east, among them Buddhism and ‘Oshoism’, holds the view that in order to transcend ‘life’ you’ve to let go of yourself completely, let go of your awareness of yourself in this reality and simply become ‘a witness’; wherein you’d then witness yourself, your participation, and what’s going on in this reality – completely listless and indifferent to what’s happening here – then you’d apparently ‘transcend’ reality.

Though, what’s the problem within such a starting point of living? What are the implications of having one’s participation in this reality being that of ‘a witness’?

Well – it’s quite obvious that the outflow of being but a witness in this reality – is that reality will take whatever road it choose to take; while one merely ‘witness’ what’s happening. And then reality might become a place of horror, dread and suffering – yet to the ‘New-Ager’ this isn’t a problem what so ever – as he’s simply ‘witnessing’ reality – not being apart of it – only witnessing it.

The problem is obviously that when one applies, and lives as ‘a witness’ – reality can turn into a complete shit-hole, and that is obviously not acceptable. And even though one would like to see oneself as ‘only a witness’ – starvation, and physical abuse do affect even those that ‘only witness’ – the physical reality as what is here is in-fact real – which is shown by the fact that you experience pain and pleasure – comfort and discomfort – what is here as this physical reality do have consequence as to how you will experience yourself.

Thus – what have Buddha and Osho missed? One cool point that they both understood and realized, which was the same point that they also fell upon –  was the point of developing the ability/skill to remain silent and clear no matter what situation one is facing – this they then referred to as ‘only being but a witness’ – what they missed then was that you’re in-fact able to be ‘a witness’ as calm, stable and clear in your self-application – and still participate and act/live in the benefit of all – and actually having an impact upon this reality, while still not being ‘lost’ in and as the relationships and dramas of the social constructs of and as human beings in this reality.

Meaning that  you in-fact enable yourself to act, live, care, consider, and ‘feel’ – even though you do not define yourself according to what is here – you act according to the principle of what is best for all, and as such you’re a participator and make a impact, and a difference – yet still remaining uninfluenced and untouched – acting from within and the starting point of breath, and physical considerations – equal and one.

As such we live without any experience – yet still we participate fully here as breathe – moving and applying ourselves in order to manifest what is best for all as living and breathing participators – but still remaining objective and clear without loosing ourselves in any form of experience.

Thus – the realization to be made is that there is no ‘point to reach’ such as ‘transcending reality’  – too then apparently reach the ‘final stage’ of ‘but being a witness’ – what’s instead to be understood is that reality is here as a opportunity for us to collectively, and individually manifest heaven on earth, both within and without, through and as the practical physical application of ourselves – as such there exist no such point as reaching a state of ‘witnessing’ and then you’re apparently done, clear, and there isn’t anything left for you in this life.

No – the point is that one make oneself in this life an effective participator that live and apply what is best for all in every moment of breath – moving oneself one and equal here as breath, and acting from a clear and sound starting point – and as such – breath by breath manifest a world, and a experience of self that is truly divine. But to do such – we must act – we must live – and to but be a witness isn’t enough – instead we’re to become an objective participator that stands by a principle – being in this world, yet not off this world – but still living in such a way that one take responsibility for what is here and live in a way that is truly supportive for self and everyone else.