Tag Archives: persist

Day 451: Why I Persist

One thing that I have found in my process is that they key to self-change is found in the basics. And with the basics, I am referring to the basic tools of self-change presented by Desteni: Writing, self-forgiveness, self-commitments, breath and corrective application. These are the five most potent tools that exist for self-change. They might seem too simple, however, that is what makes them effective. These tools can be applied almost everywhere and at any time – and with them the depths of self can be explored in detail. This is the reason why I have continued to use these tools now for soon a decade. With them I can change and become what I see is BEST for all – and consequently best for ME.

Unfortunately, many who join Desteni and begin to use the tools, have a expectation to achieve noticeable results faster than what is possible. The Desteni process and the offered tools however is a long term process. It will not move fast due to the simple reason that real and substantial self-change takes a lot of time. It also takes much discipline and effort. And regrettably, process is mostly not what I would call fun – it is not entertaining – it is instead challenging. Thus to stick with process and use the tools for the time required to see lasting results, for me, that has required a clear goal. I have derived the contents of my goal from a remembrance of my years as a young child. During those years I experienced myself fulfilled and free – and since I became older – I have desired to go back to that state of innocence and self-confidence. I realized early on that by using the Desteni tools I would be able to remove the emotional/feeling clutter hindering me from yet again returning to that state. Thus one of my goals, and what has pushed me to continue and return to the basics, has been that I have wanted to return to innocence – and live a free and fulfilled life.

Another goal/vision that I have held within me and that have motivated me to stick with the tools has been my desire to have a world that is best for me, best for all, and my desire to be part of creating that new life. This desire to achieve a significant change is something that I have returned to when things have gotten tough. I do not want to settle for what works. I want what is best – and giving myself to the purpose of creating what is best brings me real satisfaction. Living a life where only I, alone, reap the benefits is for me empty and without substance. To only care about what success I am able to achieve, it does not mean anything to me. I prosper when I am able to feel that what I am doing is contributing to upgrading life, and that I do when I sit down to write, when I apply self-forgiveness, and when I implement my forgiveness through correcting myself in a real time moment. That is having DIRECT effect.

The big difference, when comparing the Desteni process to other tools/theories/processes for self-change available, is that the Desteni tools are practical and concrete. In spirituality, issues are many times given a abstract solution. For example, lets say that a person suffers from social anxiety. In spirituality, a solution given could be: ‘You need to open yourself up more to the love in others and not fear meeting the unknown’. Though here it becomes problematic when applying this solution in physical reality – because how do you practically live ‘opening yourself up’ – how do you practically ‘not fear meeting the unknown’?

Here the Desteni tools, when used properly, instead give a practically applicable solution. To deal with social anxiety the following solutions could be applied: Write about the fear, investigate how it was created and apply self-forgiveness on the memories/energies associated with interacting with others. Then, to change the fear practically, start looking into the eyes of others, walk with a straight back, push your chest outwards and your shoulders slightly back, and breathe deeply and practice relaxing your muscles when fears comes up in social situations and start talking/interacting with the people there. There is a clear difference between spiritual/soft solutions and the direct concrete solutions that can be realized by utilizing the Desteni tools. And I have experienced marked sense of self-empowerment each time that I have been able to solve my issues, not only mentally, but also change my practical reality by changing how I interact with it.

And these are some of the reasons as to why I have kept on using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements, and self-corrective application, why I have persisted and stuck with the Desteni process, throughout the years. It has been a way for me to make the best of my life – and I am convinced that these tools would be able to benefit everyone and assist and support in expanding LIFE and in realizing our full potential.


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Day 240: What Is Real Independence?

independenceIf you who are reading this have reached an age above 18, I’m quite certain that you can relate the phenomenon called teenage rebellion, or the ‘breaking away from your parents’-phase. My own breaking-away period was to put it mildly, very aggressive and destructive, and the fascinating thing is that I did it in order to prove to my parents that I was now independent. Though, was I really ever independent when I had to PROVE my independence to someone else?

Nah, not really, because real independence has nothing to do with your parents, or anyone else for that matter, real independence is about yourself – and who you are in relationship to your own mind. Real independence is something that we are able to live regardless of where we are, with who we are, regardless of what we are doing, or when we are doing it – because real independence is the point of us STANDING as the SELF-DIRECTIVE principle within ourselves – which means that we direct ourselves in every waking moment according to COMMON SENSE as what is best for all.

Now, today I wish to write about my experience of moving back to my mother at the mature age of 28, something that in my own culture, is looked upon as a regression, and seen as a failure to ‘create your own life’ – because apparently – creating your own life means living in your own apartment, having your own job, your own friends, your own stuff, your own dreams, and so on. Though, let’s take a closer look on this cultural belief system – does it stand a thorough common sense investigation? Let’s see shall we.

Does having your own job, or being self-employed mean that you are ‘independent’? No – because your still connected to your employer, or customers – and obviously still dependent upon the monetary system to continue functioning properly. And with having your own apartment – that doesn’t really make you INDEPENDENT – but rather dependent on your apartment. So let’s face one often missed fact about this physical world – it’s based on relationships of dependency – there is not one single point in this world that stands independent. You can have millions of money and your bank-account and still – you and your life will be dependent upon a myriad of other beings and creatures in this world.

So, if independence can’t exist in this physical world? Then where can it be found? Well, independence is about WHO YOU ARE within yourself – it’s about how you approach things – being independent could for example entail having a ability to effectively assess information as to whether it’s reliable or not, and thus not allow yourself to be swayed by reactions and opinions of others. Or it could entail an ability to set goals for yourself, and move towards these, and in this process – not accept and allow yourself to change and compromise on the basis of what others would like your life to become. This would be real and practical examples of independence lived in the physical – coming from the internal and expressed in the external.

Thus, me moving home to live with my mother, does this say anything about my state of independence? No – because me as the expression of independence is something that I can live, walk and create each and every day regardless of my environment – because independence is about WHO I AM – and not WHERE I am. The fact of the matter is that moving home to my mother, out on the countryside was a specific, well planned, and thought through decision – something that I realized I wanted to do, because I have an affinity for the country side – thus actually a independent decision.

We can conclude with the following – in this physical external world it’s not possible to stand as a point independence – because all points affect each-other – and rather – embracing dependence and realizing how your actions and life will affect that of another is a key for the human race to move forward towards a better world for all. Though, independence can be lived internally, as WHO WE ARE, as HOW we approach things, as HOW we live – in this realm within ourselves we are able to stand independent and let our thoughts, words and actions be genuine representations of WHO WE ARE in-fact – where we do not anymore hide but instead express our individual and unique beingness expression – and live that which we’ve decided that we will accept and allow – and stop participation in that which we’ve decided that we will not accept and allow.

Day 119: Filthy Weaknesses

weaknessWeaknesses – looking at my own current definition of weaknesses I see them as being something that is wrong and that should and must be fought, pinned down and destroyed. This approach of mine to the point of weaknesses is something that I have recently begun to take note of, and I have seen that it pretty much comes through in most dimensions and aspects of my life, living and process. I tend to zone in on what I perceive to be a weakness, judge the weakness, and then vehemently fight the weakness – which is a form of suppression because no actual self-change is taking place – obviously because I am to busy fighting that which I perceive to be a weakness within me.

This point opened today in regards to me becoming nervous, as I had to perform in the art of public speaking. What I saw is that I immediately as this nervousness came up within me, I judged it to be a weakness, and in that I began to fight it – I didn’t want it to be in me because apparently I should be past that point, I should be stable, and I should be able to comfortably and calmly do public speaking. When I noticed I couldn’t win the fight towards this nervousness, I instead went into a state of a more passive, failure and self-judgment mode – perceiving myself as a failure because I couldn’t stop remove this apparent weakness and speak the way I wanted to speak.

Thus – I am able to see that this relationship that I have created to the point of weaknesses isn’t assisting and supporting me, because fact is that I never go to the point of developing my weaknesses into strengths – I instead stop at that point of fighting the weakness, and feeling like a failure because I have that particular weakness – when I could instead utilize those moments to assist and support myself to transform the weakness into a strength and build myself to become more effective in my application.

Really, the entire idea within me that weaknesses are bad is thus off the mark – because weaknesses are merely weaknesses, they are nothing more and they are nothing less – and a weakness is mostly a point that can be corrected and directed into and as a strength – and a strength is neither more or less – it is merely a strength – something that I am good at and that I can do effectively and effortlessly.

To be effective in actually supporting myself to stand up and direct my weak spots I require to recognize them, understand them and allow myself to accept that they are here and that they won’t go away through my trying to fight them off – instead I will have to change them as myself – and this can not be done through a process of judgment – but must be done through a process of understanding – understanding how I have created the weakness, exactly how I have become this weakness – because in that I can correct myself to step out of the weakness and make it a strength.

Thus, today I am going to walk a self-forgiveness process in relation to my definition of the word weakness.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight weaknesses and define weaknesses as shameful and embarrassing, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my time judging, fighting and resisting my weakness instead of practically assisting and supporting myself to transcend and walk through my weakness, and develop my weaknesses into strengths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that weaknesses are something that I should hide from myself and from others, because they are shameful and inherently bad, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I notice that I have weaknesses, instead of practically assisting and supporting myself to transcend and walk through them, judge them, fight them, and resist them, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is not a effective way of dealing with weaknesses, because common sense dictates that what I resist persist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I see a weakness in my application it doesn’t mean that I am failure, and that I have done something bad, it merely means that there is a weakness in my application, and that it’s as such an opportunity for me to develop this weakness into and as a strength – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the opportunity of self-expansion that weaknesses presents to me – and that I could really change my relationship to weaknesses and have fun changing them – experimenting with them – designing solutions and working with how I am able to support myself to stand up and walk the weakness into and as a strength

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t change weaknesses and that the best I can do is to fight them, resist them, and suppress them, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the opportunity to be unconditional with myself, and to intimately explore all my flaws and mishaps – and in this place myself into a position wherein I am able to expand myself – because I know myself – I see what I am doing – and within that I see the solution as to how I am able to redesign myself and develop my weaknesses into and as strengths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an expectation upon myself that I should be without weaknesses – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a state of conflict and resistance when I notice a weakness within me – and not want to recognize this weakness – but instead attempt and try to fight it off – and get it away from me so that I can be strong again – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this is not an effective way to deal with weaknesses – because the reason there is a weakness is because I have not defined for myself an effective practical living – which is something that I am able to design with the use of words – and that I can investigate how I can assist and support myself to stand up and stabilize myself and walk myself from weakness into and as strengths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that I am to be without weaknesses – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this is a unrealistic expectation, because it is quite obvious that I will have weaknesses due to how I have lived my life, wherein I have never actually paid attention to, and supported myself in corrected weak spots in my application, as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of this expectation that I should be strong, that I shouldn’t have any flaws, that I shouldn’t have any weak spots, so that I can get to know myself unconditionally, and from thereon assist and support myself to stand up and develop my weaknesses into and as strengths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others that I perceive to not have the weakness that I possess, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having that particular weakness – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I can’t compare myself with another – because I have not lived the life of another – I have not walked the processes of another – and thus it’s a point of ignorance to judge myself for not being effective in points that I perceive others to be effective within – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to accept myself unconditionally – and accept and allow myself to recognize my weak spots – and within this accept and allow myself to unconditionally work with these weak spots and develop them into and as strengths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I should be effective at everything that I am doing, and if I happen to have a weakness, and something that I am bad at, to think and believe that this is some form of mistake that shouldn’t be there, and that I must eradicate this mistake, fight it and resist it, and make sure that I ban it from my world – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be gentle in my approach to myself when I work with my weak spots – and in this making it enjoyable and fun to work with and develop my weaknesses into and as strengths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to except that my weaknesses will go away when I judge them – and when I am hard on myself and complain within myself that I have a particular weakness – and within this I forgive myself that I that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this is not a solution – because in complaining, judging, and being hard on myself, I am not actually assisting and supporting myself to find a solution, and to define for myself a way that I can practically walk this particular weakness into and as a strength – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work with practically assisting and supporting myself to walk weak spots into and as points of strength – and doing this in a gentle manner wherein I am unconditionally accepting myself as I currently exist – and then I walk from this starting point – accepting and allowing myself to make the process of changing a weakness a point of self-exploration, self-enjoyment, and having fun with myself – wherein I am able to experiment with various different ways as to how I can practically support myself to change the particular weakness into and as a strength

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am judging, resisting, and fighting a weakness that I see within myself, and in this attempt and try to suppress this weakness, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body, and I see, realize and understand that weaknesses aren’t anything bad or wrong, it’s merely points that I require to assist and support myself within and as, and that I am able to have fun changing, and directing; as such I commit myself to formulate practical solutions for myself to develop my weaknesses into and as strengths – and have fun and enjoy myself in the process of redesigning myself

When and as I see that I am being hard on myself for having a weakness, and I perceive that I am a failure, and inferior to others, due to this weakness, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that a weakness is a weakness, nothing more or less, I am thus not a failure, I am thus not less than, I am thus not worthless – I simply require to change this weakness which I am able to have fun doing – as such I commit myself to assist and support myself to unconditionally uncover and explore my weak spots and from there formulate practical solutions so that I am able to change and redirect my weaknesses into and as strengths

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