Tag Archives: planning

Day 441: Making Plans and Following Them

I like making plans. In-fact it makes me excited to consider the potentials of the future, what I can do with it, what goals can be realized and what directions can be taken. Though, what is more difficult for me is to stick with the plan. It is also harder for me to plan my day-to-day life – you know – the small apparently insignificant things we have to tend to. To me, this indicates one thing, and that is that planning is not yet a word/expression that I am living as a grounded and realistic approach to life. It is still more of a form of entertainment rather than a practical tool to be used in making myself and my daily living more streamlined and effective.

One example that comes to mind, that exemplifies my tendency to ‘winging it’ instead of structuring my approach, is that I do not tend to look in my almanac throughout my week. And that in itself is a tell, because guess what, I usually sit down and map out my week, in my almanac. Though when it comes to applying it throughout the week, I rely on my good memory, and improvise a lot as well. However, this causes me to forget what I have planned, miss responsibilities and ‘to-do’s’.

Though, there is yet another reason why I do not tend to look in the almanac throughout my week, and that is a underlying stress, a sense of urgency, where I do not feel as if I have the time to stop up and make any plans, or for that matter, check up upon and follow the plans that I have already made. However, I do understand on a theoretical level, and I have also seen it in practice, that when I plan and streamline my day, this helps me to be more efficient with my time, to get more done, and to move more smoothly through my day.

Thus, the points I want to work with regards to the word planning/structure is to be realistic when I make my plans, to push myself to plan, and follow my plans, with regards to my day-to-day living.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I make my plans, and to make them too ambitious, too lofty, where I become excited over the fact that I can plan, imagine and think things up, however, not considering the practical living of the plan – and also taking into consideration WHO I AM as a person, and what would be realistic for me to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through on the plans that I make, because when it comes to following through, I no longer have that exciting energy within me, and now, it is all physical, and it is all about discipline, and it as all about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire my plans to live for me, to hope that when I have made a plan, that it is enough and that I do not have to do anymore, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire plans so that I can feel comfortable in knowing that I am going to go forward with my life – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that plans are only what I make of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that plans are a direction in and as themselves, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the direction, the movement, it will always be ME – plans is only ever a tool that I am able to use in order to structure and create an overview in my life and make it easier for me to stand as the direction and stand as the movement in my life – and stand as the way forward – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use plans as a support tool and not something upon which I rely to move myself forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my plans are my guide, that my plans are what should move me forward, that my plans are what will move me through life, that I can place trust and reliance on my plans – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited and joyful when I make plans because I believe that they are actually going to be realized automatically and that I am going to achieve everything that I think about and look at – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that my plans will not do such a thing, that I will have to stand as the point of direction in my life and my life forward – no plan will do that for me

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to live the word planning through structuring my daily living in a realistic and grounded way, where I plan and streamline my day-to-day commitments and responsibilities in a supportive manner

I commit myself to follow through on what I have planned, to actively look at my calendar and my to-do list, to use it as a support and a reference point, from which I move myself

When and as I see myself going into a state of ‘winging’ it – a state of stress and anxiety, where I do not want to spend time on planning, referencing my plans, or following my plans, because I feel that it takes too much time, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that planning does take time, though it is something that will pay back, because when I plan, I create a overview, and I create a foundation for efficiency and expression – because I know where I am, where I am going and what is required to be done – and thus I commit myself to stop up, take a breath and commit time each day to planning my movement and my time


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Day 425: Revisiting STRUCTURE

This week I have returned to look at the word STRUCTURE and one person that supports me a lot when it comes to practically applying and living this word is my partner, because in many areas of her life, she is very structured – and one such area is cooking.

When I was younger, my way of cooking used to be very chaotic. Let us say that I were supposed to cook beef, potatoes and some sauce. I would then throw myself into it without prior considerations, and probably, begin frying the meat, while at the same time trying to peel the potatoes and stirring the sauce, hence creating a very chaotic environment for myself – thus no structure.

Through my partner, I have come to appreciate planning, preparation and considering the process of cooking before embarking on the journey. Hence, what I do now, is that I will prepare all the raw material, before I begin to do something with it. Hence I will peel all the potatoes, I will cut the meat, and I will pick out the ingredients for the sauce. By doing this, I have been able to create a much more relaxing and rewarding relationship with cooking, and obviously, I have become a better cook. Though, there are still points that I want to improve and expand upon in relation to my cooking.

The first point is to learn to slow down to read the recipe, preferably two times, so that I make sure that I know the steps needed to be walked to cook the dish. This practice of slowing down and looking/investigating/researching before I move and act is actually something that I would like to integrate in other parts of my life as well – because I have a tendency of moving too fast. When I get excited about something, I want to move NOW – however – the problem with this is that I will then many times miss points and make unnecessary mistakes, that could have been easily prevented with a little bit of forethought.

Another cool example of living structure that I realized as of late had to do with removing rust on my car. I had been thinking of removing the rust for a while, however, I had only thought about it, and not really planned how I would do it, for instance, where I would park the car, what kind of materials I would use, how long it would take, etc. Then one day, I just began, I put the car outside and started removing the rust spots, and naturally, it began to rain as I was applying the new coating. I stopped, and looked at what I was doing. I could see and feel that I was moving in a state of stress and excitement, I wanted to move, move, move, and get done, move ahead, apply – however – in that state of stress/excitement – I was missing to PLAN and take into CONSIDERATION my environment – and effectively preparing myself and my surroundings so that I would be able to walk through my project successfully.

I then decided to change direction. I used about two hours to clear out the garage, to prepare a work bench, electricity and effective lightning, preparing my environment for the operation I was about to commence, until I satisfied and content. Then I began anew with my project, and this time it flowed A LOT better.

Thus, similar to cooking, in making minor reparations on my car, it is very supportive to prepare, plan, look ahead, and structure my movement and my environment, before moving on to the actual production. Though, it is fascinating, that at times, this preparatory phase does not feel as real, as important, as significant as the actual ‘production’ phase – and I will actually resist spending the necessary time, preparing the point. However, this is a faulty proposition, because ALL parts of the project, is in-fact, however indirectly, connected to the actual production, and will all have an influence on the finished result. And it is the same with cooking. The cooking process will be a lot less stressful, and hence, there will be more time to direct the specifics, and make sure that the details are in place.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to jump immediately to the ‘productive phase’ of a particular project/expression and not prepare or structure my movement beforehand, and hence, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how it is that I am in-fact compromising the finished result, compromising my expression, because structuring, and preparing, are actually important aspects of the process and indirectly impacts the finished result of whatever it is that I am participating within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that by placing focus on the finished result and the direct actions that result in the finished result, and not looking at the entire process of creation as a whole, I am limiting myself and my movement within the point, and I am compromising the finished result, as I am not allowing myself to structure my movement, to create a sound foundation from which I am able to move and create myself and express myself within the particular project that I am taking part in

Self-commitment statement

When and as I feel stress, excited and anxious to get going, and I want to move on a project without structuring it, preparing for it, and considering the walking of the project, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that I have consistently proven to myself, that I will do a lot better, and the finished result will be much more effective, when I take time to structure my movement, when I take time to look at what is required and needed, and how to best facilitate my movement, and then, when I have made that plan, move myself forward – thus I commit myself to practice preparation, structure, slowing down, and using the time that I need, in order to walk a point of creation methodically and slowly, to get it done in the best way possible.


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Day 334: Let Me Get Organized!

The problem

There is a reason that this blog is called a dreamers journey to life. The reason being, that I am a dreamer. As a dreamer, the way I approach tasks, schedule my week, handle my work responsibilities, is many times quite chaotic. This is not because I am a irresponsible person, or because I do not care about making the best of my days, it is because I tend to be more in a state of what I next, and also because, I at the same time get very caught up in THIS MOMENT, where I start to analyze, consider, and look at what is here, to such an extent that I loose track of time. Ergo, this set of conditions have lead to the following consequences: I forget things, I handle things in a rush because there is no adequate plan and not enough time time.

I discussed this tendency of mine with a friend, and within that I could see that a appropriate word for me to practice living is ORGANIZE. Hence, in the following blog, I will redefine, and look at how I can practically live this word in my day to day living.

Redefining the Word Organize

How I have lived the word thus far in my life

My lack of organizational skills became apparent to me when I started high school. With more subjects, classes, and exams, it got increasingly difficult to have everything in my head. And then, on-top of school, I had hobbies, and leisurely interests, which I also had to keep track of. Needless to say, this resulted in me forgetting things, and because I was not used to utilizing a calendar, or a almanac – and because I did not at that point in my life regard the consequences as sufficiently severe – I simply allowed this problem to fester. I enjoyed to see myself as a free spirit, easy going, boundless, creative and imaginative, and obviously NOT tied down to boring, time-based conditions.

However, as I began university, I started to apply myself more when it came to organization. I developed time management skills, learned how to plan my studies, and make sure that I had sufficient with time to handle my responsibilities, and got quite good at it. However, only to a certain extent. I was still quite chaotic in how I approached things, and in my private sphere, where I was not forced organize in the same way, I simply did not do it.

One could thus say, that the reason I have not applied and become effective with the word organize, is because I have not practiced it enough and deliberately made it a part of my life.

Current definition

Dictionary definition

  1. arrange systematically; order: organize lessons in a planned way.
    • coordinate the activities of (a person or group) efficiently: she was unsuited to anything where she had to organize herself.
    • form (a number of people) into a trade union or other political group: we all believed in the need to organize women.
  2. make arrangements or preparations for (an event or activity): social programmes are organized by the school.
    • take responsibility for providing or arranging: Julie organized food and drink for the band.
  3. archaic arrange or form into a living being or tissue.

Etymology

Organize
early 15c., “construct, establish,” from Middle French organiser and directly from Medieval Latin organizare, from Latin organum “instrument, organ” (see organ). Related: Organized; organizing.

Organized
1590s, “furnished with organs,” past participle adjective from organize (v.). Meaning “forming a whole of interdependent parts” is from 1817. Organized crime attested from 1929.

Sounding the word

Organ-eyes

Or-gone-eyes

Organ-I-See

Or-gain-I-See

Creative Writing

An organ, which is a independent part or function within a greater whole, is part of the word organize. Further, in organize we find the words I-See, thus forming the sentence, Organ I See – and this to me goes to show that organize is about seeing various parts, how they work together, and how to direct them, in a holistic way. Thus living the word organize, is about having an overview, seeing all the various organs that form my day in my life, and each day, as a organ that form part of my life. I have the organ of waking up, the organ of eating breakfast, preparing myself for work, using my car, all of these aspects are important to take into consideration when I create my day – and if I loose perspective – and only place focus on ONE organ – such as for example one particular task that I have to get done at work – then my day will not function effectively as I will not pay adequate attention to the other organs of my life.

An important part of living the word organized is thus to remain grounded, to breath, and to not loose myself only ONE moment, but to keep an overview of where I am going next, while at the same time, placing the necessary attention on the ORGAN/MOMENT that I am participating i HERE.

Redefinition

Seeing, directing and structuring independent parts to create an efficient whole

Practical living application

How am I able to live this word practically in my day to day living?

  • At the beginning of my day, look at what must be done that particular day, walk through it in my mind, see the various individual parts, and structure them into a efficient whole
  • At the end of each week, sit down with myself and look at what must be done the coming week, and use my calendar, or almanac to see and take notice of each individual part that make up my coming week, and structure them into a efficient whole
  • When I approach a task, look at what parts the task contain, and how I am able to systematize and structure these parts to form an efficient whole
  • To ask throughout my day, stop for moments, and look ahead, to see whether there is parts in my day that I must take into consideration and act upon – and to see how I can structure them into the flow of my day
  • To use routine, and systems to make daily living easier, for example, through always putting my keys in the same place as I get home, through noting down things (parts of my day) that I suspect I will forget otherwise
  • To consistently, and persistently use to-do lists, and my almanac to structure my life, and make sure that I get to the things which I need to get to
  • To not trust that I will remember things, and instead note it down.

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Day 260: OOD = Obsessive Organizing Disorder

Today as I woke up, I knew that I had a long day of reading ahead of me – and because I know that I can focus and concentrate better when I have had some physical movement, I decided to go out and spend my morning doing some ‘farm-work’. Now, I currently live on an old farm, and my family as been living on this property for some four generations. This has caused many of the various buildings on the farm to become very, very, very disorganized. I am not sure why that is, though it might have something to do with rushing, and how we tend to disregard important points in our life, such as our living environment, because we are rushing towards the next thing on our to-do-list.

Regardless of why, it is very messy in some of the locals. And I have noticed that this messiness really gets to me – because I enjoy when points are organized, systematic, they make sense, and they have a clearly defined purpose. For example, I do not like a room where there is a myriad of things from various categories – such as a bicycle, mixed with a chainsaw, and a outboard engine. When I get into such a room I become all uneasy, and feel an urge to start organizing, and getting things into their proper place. And with some rooms on the farm I have managed to structure and organize things, though many are still left to be dealt with.

So, today as I was going about some chores around the farm, I got an idea of how to use a room, that would make sense, and that would bring more order and structure to things. In the next moment I realized that if I was going to follow through on that initial idea, the new purpose of the room that I had come up with, would clash slightly with the purpose of another room that I had thought up. Hence, I in that moment experienced a conflict of purposes – which led me to start thinking about it more, and more. Behind the scenes of this thinking process there was an emotional experience lurking – an anxiety – the driving force behind that urge to organize, to have things be systematic, controlled, specific, and aligned with their purpose.

Thus today, I am going to open up this obsessive organizing disorder-character – because this urge to organize and make things streamlined according to their purpose, it does not only come up in relation to the farm – it also comes up in my life. For example, I have noticed that it is very difficult for me to just pick up a new hobby, unless it is somehow fitted into the ‘purpose’ of my life, and where I picture myself going. And it is also difficult to ‘just do something’ without it having a goal, a purpose, an end-result in sight of what I want to achieve with this thing that I am doing. Accordingly, my diagnose is that I am obsessed with having things ‘fit into’ a scheme – a picture – a mental concept that I have created of my life – which in turn creates conflict in me when my reality does not fit into my concept of how reality should be like.

Then comes the most important question – What is the SOLUTION that I see for this pattern? As far as I see it – the solution is to accepted and allowed myself to again become a child, live like a child, and approach my day like a child – because what does a child do? A child is here in the present moment, participating in what is opening up here – and if a child one day notices how much he or she likes to ride horses – then the child will do that – unconditionally – not because it fits into the child’s idea of what he or she should do in the future. Hence, the correction is to live in the present moment – to NOT think about whether something is proper or improper – to NOT think about where something should lead me – to NOT try to organize and define everything into neat little pockets of information where I feel that I know where I am going – to be flexible and live in the moment – though still obviously – have a overview and a general sense of direction in knowing where I am going.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I constantly need to plan things beforehand, and that with all things I do and participate in, that they need to fit into a purpose, into a direction, and into a particular way of seeing things – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live in the moment, and be in the present – and approach things HERE – thus not try to fit things into, and define things, so that they are sorted and stored in a way that makes sense to me – because I see, realize and understand that things doesn’t always have to make sense – instead I can participate in something because I enjoy it, because it is here, and without having a already decided plan

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with seeing the future in everything that I do – where for me to do something – I have to see a path into the future, where this points develops, and matures, and then benefits me in my life in some way – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that not all parts and aspects of my life require to have a deep purpose and function – that sometimes – it is cool to just do something in that moment and then never return to it again – not all things require to fit in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed with organizing and moving things where I live, to fit them into a systematic organization, that I think is logical, and that is based on reason – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I do not have to organize, and systematize all things in my life – that some points I can leave as they are – and it won’t become better or worse whether I chose to organize the point or not – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to be comfortable with disorganization

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable, and cringe inside of myself when I feel that things are not organized properly – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction of immediately wanting to organize things, and put them into their correct place – and then go into a state of anxiety, and fear when I can’t seem to find a way of organization that fits into my way of logically structuring points in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to define and make sense out of everything that happens in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overanalyze situations, and what I am doing in my life – want to fit it into the bigger scheme of things – when really – sometimes there is no such meaning to a point that occurs – and sometimes there is no value in trying to define, or make sense of something – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be comfortable with not specifically knowing where things are headed, and how they might turn out in the future – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and allow myself to trust myself – and stand stable in my breath here – even though I have no clear view, or exact knowledge on how the decision I make is going to affect me and what it is going to lead to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself, that even though I might not see the full picture just yet, that when I move myself, and continue to push myself forward – that I am going to reach a point where I do see what is going on and the best decision I can make to support my life and the life of others – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the moment – living here in the present – as how children live – where there is no thought about what something should become – and rather what is important is the moment of self-expression that is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can trust myself to direct points HERE in the present as they come up and as I see that it is relevant for me to move – make a decision – and direct a particular point – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace this point of moving in the present – and practice seeing the way forward HERE – having a plan – yet not accepting and allowing this plan to overshadow my present reality and the opportunities that are opening up for me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when I get too caught up in my plans, and in what my future should be, and should become, I miss out on the physical living HERE – and I miss out on the process of self-creation that must be done in every moment of breath – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice establishing, and creating a balance for myself, between planning for the future, and remaining in the present – creating and being receptive to what is going on here

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a way of being, where I am trying to make my life fit into a predetermined planned, and define it into already specified, and purposefully arranged boxes, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I approach life from this starting point – I am going to create conflict within myself – because I will constantly think about the ideals – about how something SHOULD be – and not how things are here – and thus I commit myself to create a balance between the present and my future – where I do have a plan and a purpose for my life and future – yet where I am still accepting and allowing myself to be present HERE and receptive to what is opening up and moving in my day to day living

When and as I see that I am going into future projections, where I am imagining how things should become, how things should develop, how things should work out, and how things should be like, and what I can do in my future to make things the way I have imagined, and hoped that they should be, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I only think about what I should do in the future, and what I must do before I can begin moving, or doing something in my life, I am holding myself back, and limiting myself severely, grinding myself to a total halt within myself, because all of myself is in the future and not HERE – and thus I commit myself to create a balance between making plans for the future, and living HERE in the moment, creating and building, and shaping my life in the moment, with the resources that are at my disposal HERE

When and as I see myself going into and as a state of future planning, where I try to organize and make sense of this present moment through thinking about what I can, and should do in the future, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself by accepting and allowing myself to make sense of this present moment – that I do not need that to be stable, sound and clear, and be directive about my decision and where I am going – and thus I commit myself to trust myself to walk in the present – and trust myself that as I walk I will see the next step to take – and the next point to take on and move and direct – and thus that I do not require to use my mind to make sense of where I am and where I am going

Day 130: Planning for Failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan ahead, and make decisions for my future from a starting point of disbelief, lack and fear – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan in such a way as to avoid failure, and avoid realizing my fears, not realizing that when I plan, and make decisions from this starting point I am in-fact sabotaging myself, as I am not accepting and allowing myself to make the BEST decision, and to make the BEST plan – but I am rather making a plan that will hopefully not place me in the particular situation that I fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the starting point of my future plans and decisions to make the BEST future for myself, to make the MOST of my life, and to walk, and do that which I see that I want to do, and that which I see would contribute, and bring forth what is best for all – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in an experience of lack, fear and disbelief, wherein I do not push myself to make my plans, and decisions a expression of self-movement, and self-expansion, but rather an attempt to try and avoid that which I don’t want to happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as, and create an idea of myself that I am not good enough, and that I lack, and as such believe that my decisions, and my movement of myself, must be based upon the notion of me attempting to avoid failure, and avoid the worst case scenario, and avoid my life becoming worthless – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rather move myself in the direction that would challenge me the most, that would contribute to my life, and the life’s of others the most, that would make a difference in my life, as well as in the life’s of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in regards to my future impulsively, and to become addicted to making various decisions, and change my decisions in regards to the future, because I fear making a decision that is effective for me, and then sticking to it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impulsive in my movement in my life – instead of being determined, and patient – instead of accepting and allowing myself to make a decision and then stick with it – and realize that the fears and doubts coming up within are but fears and doubts – and do not mean that my initial decision is invalid – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work with these fears and doubts as they arise within me – to immediately take them on – and not accept and allow them to fester within me – to take hold of me – and to influence my decision making and my plans for my future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I make a decision, to immediately as information come into my world that is not aligned with my initial idea of the decision I made – to go into fears and anxiety, and doubt, and impulsively, without accepting and allowing myself to carefully consider to information, to be patient, to be steadfast, and stable in considering new information, and to as such not immediately leave my initial decision – but to accept and allow myself to cross-reference – and to accept and allow myself to make decision slowly in such a pace that is effective for me – for me to be certain that I know what I deciding and that I know where I am coming from – and I know what it is that I am creating and how I am going to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impulsive in regards to decision making – and make decisions without reflecting, pondering, and looking at the point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself when I make decisions impulsively – and be impulsively – meaning that I make a decision in a reaction, and in a experience – immediately changing my initial direction and movement – because I do not experience that as being correct and right anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and allow myself to move more slowly in regards to decisions – to realize that only because something is not as I initially imagined it to be – and as I initially saw it to be – this doesn’t mean that I have to throw away my old decisions and plans – that I immediately on the spot have to change everything that I have walked up to this point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient with myself – and to not accept and allow myself to cross-reference my decisions – to cross-reference my considerations – to as such make sure that when I make decisions – and when I make plans – that it’s specific – it’s effective – and that it’s aligned with what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as fears when I make decisions, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions from a starting point of fear of survival, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my decisions are not more effective because I make them in fears – they are not more specific – more directive – and more to the point only because there is a fear involved – rather – it’s the opposite – and that when I make decisions in fear – the decision is not based upon what is a physical fact – what is real – and what I am able to verify for myself and cross-reference with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not when I have doubts, and fears come up within me, and I feel the urge to make a decision, to then stop myself, take a breath, and bring myself back here – and discipline myself to not make a decision upon the basis of this experience – but to rather breathe through it and let it go – and within that accept and allow myself to stabilize and stand here with and as my human physical body – and let the fear and the doubt go unconditionally – and then make sure then when I make decisions and plan – that I am clear within myself – that there is no movement – that there is no fear – but that I am stable

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into fear, doubt, and anxiety, and that I want to make decisions, and plans, in order for me to avoid, and escape these fears, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that a decision based upon these experiences will not be effective – it will not be specific – it will not be aligned with and as reality and that which I am able to prove to myself is physical – stable – here; and as such I commit myself to breathe through these emotions – to stabilize myself here – and when I look at a plan or decision – to make sure that there is no movement within me and that I am stable – and to not make a decision until I am clear within myself

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