Tag Archives: power

money

Day 357: Money and Dis-empowerment

After listening to the Eqafe Interviews Power Play With Money and Freeing Your Mind From Money, in which it was suggested to write about money and its relationship to the emotion of dis-empowered, I have decided to do just that.

Money, either we have it, or we do not. And when we have it, the world is our oyster, and when we do not, there is nothing we are able to do, as everything in this world requires money. This is a polarity in itself, where money either gives us opportunities, or completely removes them. Hence, it is not strange that the lack of money is linked to the emotion of dis-empowerment, because without money, we are dis-empowered to realize our desires, dreams and hopes.

However, the way I see it, the lack of money is but part of the problem. Because as important as the negative polarity is to look at, let us not forget, that when we do have a lot of money, this is accompanied with feelings of great joy and feeling empowered to take on the world, and do whatever it is that we want to do. We have thus separated ourselves from the word empowered and dis-empowered and we have defined these words in relationship to money. And that is obviously a problem, because how can we ever stand stable, consistent, and directive within our lives, if our underlying strength comes from money. The moment money is gone, then so will our strength, fortitude, and momentum.

It is not unusual that people commit suicide due to financial losses and maybe the reason for that is what I mentioned above. When the money leaves our world, so does our will to live, our directive principle, our desire to move, motivate, create and expand – and the only option we seem to have would be to commit suicide. Though, obviously, this is experience is artificial. It is not natural or sane to base our character, our deepest convictions, and reason for living, on the abundance or lack of money. And hence, if we really want to stand and make the most of ourselves, this is a point that must be changed. We must make sure that we are not controlled by money, but that money is a tool that we use and nothing more.

If we base ourselves, our life, on that which is not dependent on the fluctuations and changes of the world system – then we will empower ourselves to stand through the worst, and be stable in facing the best. Jesus put it nicely when he said:

“Everyone therefore who hears these words of mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man, who built his house on a rock. The rain came down, the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat on that house; and it didn’t fall, for it was founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of mine, and doesn’t do them will be like a foolish man, who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat on that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”

— Matthew 7:24–27, World English Bible

This shows that when we create and define our character, not by measuring ourselves in relation the ideals of the world system, but instead by our own, inner commitment, devotion and steadfastness, and by living/creating/standing by our own self-created purpose and direction, then having less or no money will not be experienced as an emotion of dis-empowerment – as we will instead look for solutions and how to best handle the upcoming situation. Hence, our life will be built on a rock. Because we are only dis-empowered when we accept and allow ourselves to be dis-empowered – as long as we are HERE – we have a varying range of things we can do to direct our lives the way we want them to be – that is not dependent on money – unless obviously – we make it so.


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work

Day 343: Taking Charge of Work

It is not necessarily fun or enjoyable to work. In a very real sense, we are slaves to money, and we must work if we wish to survive. From that perspective, work is simply something we must do in order to get to and have time for the good things in life. Usually, the good things would be hobbies, family, friends, partying, traveling, and similar things. However, if we look at the time spent in the various compartments/dimensions of our lives, work is definitely one of the things we do the most. The majority of people spend their entire lives working, and have only a small amount of time left each day to spend on themselves. And when this is the case, it does not make sense to look and relate to work as something we have to get by and move past with as little involvement as possible – because – if we do – we will MISS OUT.

Work, even though we have to do it, it can become a rewarding, challenging and fascinating experience. What I have seen since opening this point up is that when we react to, and define work as only that ‘thing we just have to get through’ – we miss the countless of dimensions that exists within work where we are able to improve and expand. And it does not necessarily have to be about the work, meaning the physical action or actions we are involved within that defines our work. Instead, the the point of expansion can be found in unpredictable places and towards things that we would normally not pay any attention to.

For example, for me, what initially opened up as a challenge, and point within which I could expand, was living the word thorough. And this is because, in my line of work, being thorough is very important – and if one point is missed – this can have big repercussions. When I had mastered thoroughness, what opened up for me was balance, from the perspective that in order for me to be the best me, I had to develop and maintain a balance between leisure time, and time spent working. Recently, what has come up has been the word structure, which I am practicing through making daily to-do lists, following and developing effective routines, and before I begin with something, to slow down, and look at how I can approach the task in the best manner possible.

Though, what I mentioned above, that is only the bigger processes that I have walked. I have also worked with experiences in relation to colleagues, the pressures related to work, expectations that I have placed on myself, desires, inferiority, and more. What I want to say is that, if we are open to changing and developing ourselves to reach and stand as our utmost potential, work is a supreme location to be at – it is where we want to be – because we will face life straight head on – and it is in that face-to-face contact – that we have the opportunity to live – design – and create ourselves.

Instead of reacting to work, we should actively ask ourselves, what is it that I can do expand myself when I am working? Where can I push myself? Where can I develop myself? What can I learn from my colleagues? Where are my weaknesses and how can I turn them into strengths, and how am I able to strengthen my strengths even further?

Seen this way, working becomes something more, it becomes a place of creation, and not merely that place where you go to earn money, to afterwards go home, and only then do what you enjoy to do. Really, we should not have any separation in our lives, where we see one part of our existence as a prison where we cannot do anything but wait till we are released, and another part as our personal heaven where we want to spend every single minute. Regardless of where we are at, we have an opportunity to expand, create, move, and go beyond our limitations. And that must always be a part of our awareness. Hence it should not be our environment that creates us, we should do that, with our decisions, and the words we live.


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succesful

Day 329: Redefining Successful

Redefining the word Successful

How I have lived the word up till now

Undoubtedly, success for me has been deeply connected with receiving recognition from others and thus my primary relationship with the word has been in relation to fame and the desire to become famous. Throughout my life I have many times ventured and taken on new hobbies, because they have held an opportunity for me to get famous. There has been music, making movies, writing, and more, hobbies that I have pursued hoping to become widely known and appreciated. Thus, success has not been something present in my personal relationship with myself – success has been something to achieve for someone out there.

Current definition

Dictionary definition

  1. The accomplishment of an aim or purpose: the president had some success in restoring confidence.
    • the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status: the success of his play.
    • [ count noun ] a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains fame, wealth, etc.: to judge from league tables, the school is a success | I must make a success of my business.
  2. archaic the good or bad outcome of an undertaking: the good or ill success of their maritime enterprises.

Etymology

1530s, “result, outcome,” from Latin successus “an advance, a coming up; a good result, happy outcome,” noun use of past participle of succedere “come after” (see succeed). Meaning “accomplishment of desired end” (good success) first recorded 1580s. Meaning “a thing or person which succeeds,” especially in public, is from 1882.

The moral flabbiness born of the bitch-goddess SUCCESS. That — with the squalid interpretation put on the word success — is our national disease. [William James to H.G. Wells, Sept. 11, 1906]

Success story is attested from 1902. Among the French phrases reported by OED as in use in English late 19c. were succès d’estime “cordial reception given to a literary work out of respect rather than admiration” and succès de scandale “success (especially of a work of art) dependent upon its scandalous character.”

Sounding of the word

Suck-cease

Suck-see

Suck-test

Search-for-the-best

Sit-on-end-of-test

Suck-tease

succeed

succession

Creating writing

The current definition of successful is actually grounded and specific in comparison to how I have thus far understood successful. Being successful is not about ‘competing’ or ‘winning’ – it is not about proving oneself to another – it is actually about realizing a plan/idea/manifesto into reality – it is about walking a process of creation into the physical. My definition of successful has been that it is something ‘good’ that happens, particularly related to money, career, studies, sports, competitions, and foremost in comparison with others – a success is only a success if it implies that I am better than or more than others.

However, this is not the essence of success – because in the word we have the sounds of succeed and succession – and it also comes through in the etymology of the word – success is something that comes after – it is outcome of a process of creation – where a goal has been established and then a process has been walked to realize this goal – and hence – the outflow is success.

New redefinition

Walking the creation of a goal/vision/idea/principle into physical creation/completion.

Day 277: Performance Paranoia

Today’s blog will be about performance paranoia. Now, what is then performance paranoia?

Well, performance paranoia is that voice that can come up in your mind, that movement of fear in your chest, that slight perspiration forming on your forehead, and that increase of your heart rate, that happens when – you in some way or another have to perform.

In my life at the moment, performance paranoia has come through strongly when it comes to work, and wanting to show my bosses and co-workers that I can do the job effectively, precisely, and without making mistakes. Thus, I have wished to perform before my colleagues, and this have caused performance paranoia, because the moment there is something I want to achieve from/through another, what happens? Fear is created.

So, if we look at the polarity construct of performance paranoia, it consists of, on the one hand the desire to be liked/accepted/validated, and on the other hand, the fear of reprimands/being disliked or pushed away. There is thus always a conflict going on when an action is motivated from within and as performance paranoia – the conflict between the desire to be liked and the fear of not being liked. That is obviously not a very cool way to live, and fascinatingly enough, such a mind pattern actually decreases and diminishes one’s capacity to perform. Because where is our attention? Not on what we are doing HERE – rather it is on what we should NOT do, and what we SHOULD do, and how others might, or might not potentially react to our actions.

What is the missing puzzle piece here? Why does performance paranoia exist to begin within? If we look at what is the underlying desire within performance paranoia, which is to be accepted/liked/valued/included, we can conclude that the root cause of this polarity construct is that self has not yet lived self-acceptance and self-love – and here I mean an unconditional self-acceptance, and a unconditional self-love. And further, self as not yet developed an ownership in relation to work and careerseeing, realizing and understanding that work and career are actually parts of self and not something that is to be achieved and created ‘out there’.

Thus, solution: Develop self-worth, self-value, self-acceptance, and self-love, particularly in relation to the work environment.

And now for the more difficult question, how is this practically done?

Well, one point that I see immediately is to stop harassing and judging myself when I make mistakes. Mistakes must be embraced and seen as a natural part of self-development – a natural part of any process of learning. Hence, even though another might become irritated and judgmental because I have made a mistake, I cannot accept and allow myself to be like that with myself. Regardless, I must stand within acceptance and self-love, and embrace the mistake. Though, that does not mean that I should simply accept myself as bad at something, no, it simply means that the self-development and improvement, where I push myself to excel, that movement must be birthed from within and as a sense of genuine joy, creativity, exploration, and desire to improve on myself – not from within and as a starting point of lack.

Another solution would be to give myself ownership of my work, to instead of ‘doing it for them’ – start doing it for me. And within this start pushing myself to really excel, be precise, specific, and detailed in all aspects of work, for myself, that is something that I do to challenge myself, and to become more effective at what I am doing – and within this make the starting point in this creation process that genuine joy that exists within challenging myself and expanding myself in skills and abilities.

The rewards of this would naturally be that work becomes something real, something I do for me, a place where I go and where I develop, expand, and push myself for myself, and not to be liked, or appreciated by another. And where work is not a place where I fear to be judged, because I have stopped self-judgment, and hence, work instead becomes a playground of exploration, where I have the opportunity to push and develop certain skills and abilities, and refine myself, and my capabilities in my chosen field even more.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have to change my relationship to work, that I cannot expect my bosses or colleagues to make my work rewarding, enjoyable, fascinating, and developing, I must create and build that myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to do that – I must claim ownership of my work, and my career, to within this see that my work, and my career is a part of me, and thus something I have to develop and create within me, and something that will reflect my relationship with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my relationship with work is my responsibility, and that I cannot give that over to anyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to live fulfillment in my life, I must fulfill myself, and this is something that I do through a process of self-creation, where I actively, in all parts of my life, create myself, see how I can develop and expand myself, see how I can push my skills and abilities even further, see how I can become more effective, more stable, more directive, and learn more, and thus constantly push myself to expand – and I see, realize and understand, that this is the joy of living, working, and walking a career path, that there is constantly room for expansion and improvement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I actually enjoy my work – a lot – yet – when I accept and allow myself to become influenced by others, and their negative experiences to work, this causes me to lose sight of myself, and my own relationship with work, where I actually enjoy getting into specifics, details, reading, and pushing myself to develop myself intellectually – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that in order to really enjoy work, I require to open the flood gates of self-expression, and vest myself in my career, and my work, to get into it, and not hold back, to accept and embrace it as a part of me, and a part of my life, and thus something that it is my responsibility to create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is a truth that goes in all aspects of my life, that it is up to me to create them, it is up to me to define them, it is up to me to find that within them which I can use to support, enhance and create myself – nothing will just happen – nothing will just come and find me one day – no – I must be the creator and create that which I want in my life – be the directive principle – be the movement – the initiator – the shaper of my own life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to except things to change, to expect things to happen, to expect things to become better, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it will not – I will have to make that change – I will have to make that improvement – I will have to create that change – it will not come by itself – it will not magically appear – either I create it – or it will not be here

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to make work my own, to take ownership, and to each day push myself to expand, to learn, to develop my skills, to enhance my abilities, and proceed forward in my development – and in this I see that I am myself responsible for my self-creation – and thus I commit myself to embrace that responsibility and make work my playground of self-creation – where I can expand and develop skills so that I become a better human being

I commit myself to take ownership of my process of self-creation, and see that there is a opportunity of for self-creation in all parts and aspects of my life, and that is up to me to find that point of self-creation – it is up to me to define that point of self-creation – and it is up to me to make it happen – and thus I commit myself to write a list of all points that I want to push and create in my life – and thus push my process of self-expansion and self-development – and understand that when things do not move forward – it is because I do not move forward

Day 247: What’s The Point?

In looking at the state of the world today, with so much suffering happening on many levels, more or less everywhere on earth – it’s easy to go into that experience of ‘what is really the point?’ – and also in that start to wonder, with this sentimental energy: ‘What can I do about all of this? It’s just too much! I should rather just make the most of my personal life and leave the rest be!’ – and from there it’s easy to fall into the comfort of one’s personal life, with the personal goals, the personal satisfactions, the personal experiences, where the state of the world is conveniently forgotten.

What most of us human beings tend to do, is that we live out our personal lives, we live in a very small and secluded bubble, we have limited influence and effect – we do the things we enjoy to do and we resist, and stay away from the things we dislike. For those of us lucky enough to live in the western hemisphere, we’re able to now and then, go on a vacation, have a couple of cars, a job, a family, and do something constructive with ourselves, and fascinatingly enough that is something very few have – a minority of this world. What is even more fascinating is that, instead of using these fortunate life circumstances to stand up, and dedicate our time towards producing a solution that is best for all, we squander it, and basically, our entire life end up being a self-entertainment parade – where everything we ever did or didn’t do is all for ourselves, or those closest to us. The rest of the world we don’t accept and allow into our lives – it’s them vs. me.

We see this behavior as normal, and when someone challenges this mentality, what you get back, the reasoning so to speak, is that apparently, there is no point to attempt and try to do anything with your life – it won’t lead to anything anyway – so it’s better to just enjoy the life you have and then recognize your luck to be born in a country where you’re able to at least satisfy and realize some of your dreams. Though, is this way of reasoning valid? Is it valid for us to simply live out our existence in a state of blissful ignorance while the majority of the world exists in a state of peril? How would you feel if you were the one living in dire conditions, and there on the other side of the world, millions of people with affluent lifestyles, with the time and resources to actually do something, just sat back, walked through their daily chores, tried to realize their personal goals, and dreams, and basically did nothing what-so-ever to impact this world in a positive and lasting way? Would you stand for that?

I am not saying that we have to give up our comfortable lives, sell our homes, quit our jobs, and embrace poverty – what I am saying is that our comfortable lifestyle is something that we can give to everyone. I am saying that we, that do have the resources, are responsible to create and build something more out of ourselves and our lives – we’re obligated to create something that have an impact, not only for those closest to us, but for everyone. We’re obligated to use our time to make sure that no one gets to lead an existence of starvation, and that no one gets to experience to trauma and stress of war, or migration.

Thus, if you see what I see, don’t accept and allow yourself to wait anymore – make sure that your life is not lived in vain, but that you do contribute to a lasting and sustainable solution, on a personal, interpersonal and existential level. This world can change – but in order for that change to come through – we must make the decision to act, to live, and to start working together and move towards the future, which we want to have for each other, ourselves and the children to come.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with my own life, with my own dreams, with my own goals, and hopes, and in that only think about myself, and what I can do with my life, how I can further my interests, and how I can make something for myself that will be good for me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not include the rest of the world into myself, and to within this, push and will myself to make decisions that are best for all – and that have a impact, a influence, an actual value for the many and not just for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with my own future, and in this not see, realize and understand that my future can’t be the best, unless everyone’s future is the best, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must include it into my awareness, and into my life, to contribute to the life of all, to give back, and to give as I’d like to receive, and to make sure, that in my life, I push for solutions that will have an impact on a global level, and that will benefit all people – because in that way I will produce ripple effects that are going to benefit not only me, but also future generations, nature, animals, and people living in all areas of the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what is missing in me, is the ability to be aware of the whole, and to realize that my life doesn’t extend only to my home, to my work, to the money that I earn, but that my life extends to the entirety of this existence, and thus I see, realize and understand that I have a responsibility to make something with my life that is best for all, that does produce a benefit for people, and that is something that people can take with themselves, and apply in their daily lives, to enhance themselves, and their lives, to as such in effect enhance the state of this world, and the earth that we all live upon

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel, and experience as if it’s meaningless to do anything, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s not in-fact meaningless, it just feels meaningless, but the fact is that when I act, when I am clear on what I am doing, and I am pushing forward, I am in-fact having a effect, I am in-fact having a consequence and I am moving a point forward, and even though I might not feel like it’s going forward – it is in-fact – because I am moving forward – thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become clouded by emotions instead of accepting and allowing myself to stick with physical movement, physical action, and physical direction on a day to day basis – where I move myself forward to produce a world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that if no one does anything at all, there will never be a solution to the problems that have arisen in this world – and the fact is that – unless someone take the first step and start moving themselves in the direction of change – that first step will never come – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand within and as that commitment and decision within myself to be the one that takes the first step forward – and that starts creating a life and a future that is worthwhile – that is effective – and that will be something of value which we’re able to give to our children

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the feelings of something being pointless and meaningless can’t be trusted, that even though something might be incremental in it’s change, and that only a small, and very insignificant part of the change is coming through, so little that it can’t be seen, it’s still a change, and it still implies that things are moving forward – and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stick to, and hold unto the insight, and realization, that through consistent action, through consistent movement – that I will be able to create a difference for myself as well as others – and that it’s this very point I see, and understand that I must stand by – and use as a motivation to day by day drive myself forward and build a purpose, and life for myself – that will be of benefit to all – and not but myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that change will not happen in a moment, and that it took billions of years to create the current situation on earth, and that it will take a long time to correct the current situation that is here – and even though it won’t happen – even though all attempts to correct and direct the situation on earth will fail – it’s still not a reason and excuse to stop and not do anything at all – and to sink back into a lifestyle of only living for personal enjoyment and satisfaction – and thus I commit myself to not go into emotion – but to remain steadfast and move consistently forward – towards what I see is the utmost potential for humanity and this world – which is an existence lived in harmony where all parts of life can be expressed fully equal and one

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a state of hopelessness, and that there is no point to what I am doing, and the movement I’ve committed myself to, and that I am walking on a daily basis, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that it shouldn’t matter whether, or whether not there is a change, or a movement happening due to my actions, but what is important is that I stand by and with my principle, that I decide to move, and be consistent and stable, and steadfast in my movement, and that I move with the purpose that I’ve given to myself in this lifetime, to make a difference for all, and for myself, and to give as I’d like to receive – and thus I commit myself to take a breath, and ground myself in my human physical body, and stand by the resolve, to move forward, and to continue with my self-creation, and self-realization process – to continue to expose and share what is going on in this world and the solutions that exists to create a world that is best for all

When and as I see that I am going into a state of wanting to give up, and focus on my own personal life, my own personal enjoyment and satisfaction, and leave out the rest of the world so that I can do my own thing, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is not a solution, that doing that, living but my personal life, will neither give me peace, satisfaction, or produce any changes in this world, which will just remain in status quo – and thus I commit myself to each day, will myself to create and bring something to the table, to push this world, and this existence forward – that makes this world a better and more effective place – heaven on earth – to do that through practical daily actions that I see have a benefit and produce value

Day 236: Boldness

Boldness – to be bold, to be daring, what does that mean when we look at the words from a starting point of what is best for all? That is what I will investigate in this blog.

So, for some context, I’ve been looking at the point of fearing to speaking up in moments when I see that there is something I want to say, or that I’d like to intervene – and I’ve as well looked at various fears that I have with regards to taking a stand for what is best for all, not only in some parts of my life – but in all of them – and primarily – the money-side of my life.

Concept of career and freedom with a bright open doorBecause what would it mean to live what is best for all in relation to money? Well, obviously it would mean that I don’t accept and allow myself to hold unto money as a form of security for a rainy day, as that would imply me holding unto a fear of survival – and living what is best for all would further mean that I will myself to invest and use my money in a way that I see is best for all – so that the money comes to actual use. The problem thus far has been that there have been fears towards taking the step out into self-trust, and willing myself to implement a principled, common sense relationship with money – hence I realized that it was important to look at the word boldness.

Definition

What does being bold mean? The dictionary defines bold as follows.

“showing a willingness to take risks; confident and courageous”

Sounding the word

The sound of the word reveals the following.

BOLD

BALD

BOWL

BRAWL

BOULDER

BLOW

BOLT

Creative writing

The sounding of the word shows that the word bold is very much connected to exertion, and movement – being bold is an act of forward motion, equal to a bolt being fired, or someone blowing. Though there is also a sense of stability in the sound, which comes through in the word boulder – which implies a massive, untouchable stand.

If combined what comes through is the meaning of bold, as being a movement forward that arise from a genuine stability and trust in oneself. Thus, in essence, to live bold, I can’t accept and allow any fears, or doubts to possess me, and take me over – I must instead stand HERE – be direct and immediate – and move as the opportunity open up – as the point is HERE.

Obviously, this comes with risks, though let’s be honest – there is nothing in this world that doesn’t involving risk-taking to some degree – and in order to expand, move, and challenge yourself, it’s obvious that we must take risks – which in essence mean that we must walk into the unknown and accept the fact that we might fail, that we might face a situation we can’t handle, that we might not be able to direct the point as we hoped – such unwanted outflows is part of the equation of taking risks.

Though then there is the point of taking unnecessary risks, and this would be arrogance – thus there is a thin line between arrogance and boldness – where arrogance would be when we act without evaluating, without being humble and looking at the decisions that is before us – and instead believing that we’re “so good” – and thus able to make it through.

New definition

Boldness = Taking action in the stability of breath, moving forward even though there are uncertainties and risks, and the outcome can’t be predicted

Day 227: Fear of Losing Time

Since becoming 28 years of age I’ve started to have these thoughts, and fears come up with regards to aging, and ‘losing my life’ – ‘losing my opportunity’ – and these thoughts are often accompanied with nostalgic memories, and pictures of the past – things that I did and didn’t do – and what I could, or should have done.

What is interesting is that the consequence of me accepting and allowing these thoughts is that my outlook on the future becomes colored by fear – and due to this my plans for the future tend to be made within a sort of hastiness – a feeling of lack of time and that apparently there is so much I must get before I become old and die – and unless I do them my life will not have been lived to it’s fullest potential. This is thus the design existent within me with regards to time, aging and using my breaths here on earth – it’s currently aligned within the principle of what I WANT DO with MY LIFE to make sure that MY LIFE was cool, effective, and that as I die – I can look back and feel super-content with myself.

In walking through the design of this point, one quote by Bernard Poolman comes to mind:

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to understand that any change will go hand in hand with resistance as I have to push through the automated occupation of self that is obsessed with time till I have removed this fear driven obsession with time and what I believe is important due to the effective ways I have allowed myself to become a participant in the current system of the individual self obsessed with personal achievement.” (see blog HERE).

This quote effectively encapsulates the design I’ve opened up here – it’s the design of being obsessed with time because it’s the resource I require to live out my addiction with personal achievement – and the origin of addiction is actually the want to feel good about myself – and because in achieving things in my personal capacity – more knowledge – more experiences – more money – I feel good and my self-image is upgraded. Though obviously this is not a real self-image – it’s only a façade based on energy that will disappear the instant I die.

In a blog I read recently (check it out HERE ) the point of DEATH is expounded upon – and this perspective I found to be very assisting. In the blog the realization is shared of how futile self-interest really is, how living a life in the name of self-glorification never amounts to ANYTHING at all – and that regardless of how much knowledge we accumulate, regardless of how far we reach in our careers – DEATH will always have the last say.

Thus, this begs the question – what is REAL value, what is REAL worth, what is REAL opportunity, what does it mean to REALLY live? And how do we create our lives to be of actual consequence? And there is really just one answer to that question – giving ourselves a HIGHER PURPOSE – without a HIGHER GOAL within and through we walk our daily lives to give as we’d like to receive – from the starting point of genuinely wanting to make this world a more effective and harmonious place to live in – there is practically speaking no point in living.

It’s fascinating – that in order to LIVE LIFE we have to GIVE UP our own life and open our eyes to the bigger whole – and realize that our value in this world is measured by what we’ve given – not by what we’ve received.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with my own future, my own life, and my own personal achievements, and thus fear becoming old, and aging, in fear of losing time that I can use to further my interests, desires, hopes, and wants – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this fear is in-fact valid, and believe that this worry that comes within me with regards to losing time that I could use for purposes of feeling like an achiever, is real – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this purely ego – and that the entire design is based upon fear and being obsessed with using my time to further my self-interests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that children do have something that adults lack, which is the ability to let go of the idea of achievement, and development, and rather embrace self here, and trust that self will walk what is required and necessary to be walked in the moment – and that there is really no lack of time, or grandiose project that must be completed within a certain time-space, in order for my life to apparently be successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life is HERE within and as the physical, that it exists within and as every moment of breath, that it’s not something hidden, masked and hanging in front of me like a carrot on a stick – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my time from within and as a starting point of fear – as the fear of losing my time – and losing my potential to build a particular careersfor myself, or a name for myself – to apparently within that become someone of importance, and significance in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the way I’ve approached goals, the future, my life, my daily living, has been within and as this slight undercurrent of fear, as the fear of losing my time, and spending my time on things that will not contribute to the enhancement, and creation of myself as someone that have achieved great success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and be stuck within this starting point of only caring for myself and my own success, my own hopes, and desires – and what I plan, and want to achieve in this life, that might make my future more bright than the future of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that real value, real worth, is the process of me giving as I’d like to receive – and that the effect of my life is not something that I should measure according to much I can create for myself, but rather how much I can create for life – which implies creating for the benefit of everyone – giving for the benefit of everyone – looking at what I can do and how I can move myself each and everyday that will have a lasting and positive effect on myself and others as well – and realizing that this is real value – what I leave behind in every moment that is of actual practical support for others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how death reveals the futility of self-interest, and how there is really no meaning in living only to create my own life, my own future, my own success – because eventually I will die – and then what I’ve created will not mean anything – because I didn’t give to this earth and this reality – I didn’t contribute practically and physically to actually place into this world points that will remain here after I’m gone and that will have a lasting and effective impact – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is what is important – this is what creating real value actually means – establishing a functional solution for a world that is best for all and giving this to others as I’d like to receive

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to realize that the value of my life and living is determined by what I give – and what I live that is of benefit to everyone and not only to myself – and that thus: This obsession with time, and creating my purpose and fulfilling myself – that it’s really futile – because at the end of the day – self-interest will simply not stand the test of time – and thus I commit myself to let go of this fear of not having personal achievement – to free myself from these shackles and accept and allow myself to give my life unconditionally to create – shaping – and building life in this physical world/reality

I commit myself to give myself to life – to give myself to others – to see, realize and understand that the key to a life in peace is in-fact caring for others for real – caring for this world for real – giving my life to creating life – being genuine in actually caring for and willing myself to manifest a solution because I care for life – and I care for humanity – and I want what is best for life because life is me

I commit myself to practice caring on a physical/practical basis – through genuinely asking myself what I can give to others – that will be of genuine support and assistance – and that will strengthen their lives and make them more complete and effective as beings – to thus change my starting point in life to instead give – and look at what I can do for this world – instead of looking at what this world can do for me