Tag Archives: problem

Day 365: Solutions Instead of Defeat

Today I listened to the following interview on Eqafe: Interview Request – Polar Bears, Ice Melting, and Manifested Consequence. And as is always the case with Eqafe interviews, they assist and support me in opening up new insights and realizations.

When I listened to this interview, what opened up was the point of how I tend to feel defeated when I look at the world and the problems we are facing. It is not only because of how big the problems are, but because there seems to be only a minority of people that cares about finding solutions, and a majority that prefers to live in ignorance. There is however a alternative to defeat. That is changing my focus, from seeing the problems, to instead seeing the solutions. And I find this to be true not only in regards to world problems, but also in relation to my own personal issues – I often forget about the SOLUTIONS.

It is as if our minds are addicted to the problems and to the experience of defeat. We like to find the problems, to talk about the problems, to become stressed about the problems, and to give up in the face our problems. Finding solutions to the problems, that is secondary, and many times, nonexistent. That is the case with environmental issues such as the melting of the ice caps or global warming. We become stressed and emotional, and then we give up – we accept defeat and that it is too late to do anything, that is, before we have even begun. The proper response would have been to USE that stress as a motivation to get off our asses and start doing something about it.

And with regards to our personal issues. When a point opens up that seems to be too big, we easily accept defeat. Or, when we have tried a couple of different solutions, we stop pushing tell ourselves that it is no use. And then we come up with a justification as to why we are not continuing to push. This has happened to me several times – I will face a difficult point – and when I notice that it is going to take a lot out of me to change the point – accepting defeat is not far away. Though, I do have examples from my life where I have not accepted defeat. In those moments, what I have done, is that when I have been at the brink of giving up, I have taken a deep breath and re-focused my attention. I have then again looked at what it is that I want to achieve, and why I want to achieve it. I have reminded myself of my goals – and after pausing for a moment – I have moved myself to continue.

The trick has been to move beyond the point of feeling defeated. And this way I have been able to learn many skills that I initially perceived as impossible for me to acquire. One example is playing guitar. When I began, I could not fathom that I would one day be able to play the songs of my favorite bands. But I kept on practicing, I kept on looking at tips for how to improve on my technique, and then, at some point, I was suddenly able to play the songs I wanted to. It was a process of accumulation, where I day in and day out practiced a little, grew a little, moved a little – and in time – those small moments accumulated into a big change/movement – I learned to play guitar!

In this process of moving beyond defeat, solutions are essential. If I keep my focus on the problem, I will create more of it, get deeper into it, loose my sense of clarity and direction. I might even forget what it is that I WANT to happen, what is my goal? And then all I do is to try and find ways to cope with what is happening, instead of actively finding ways to definitively solve the problem. Understanding the problem is only the first step, the rest of the steps is about establishing a solid and sustainable change – and that is where the focus should be: What is that I want to create?

I will continue to practice this point of moving past defeat and creating solutions. Especially when a emotion comes up within me, presenting me with a problem, to then convert that emotional energy into a movement within me to instead look for a solution to the problem that I face. To not accept and allow myself to get stuck in a quagmire but to keep on moving – to keep on expanding – to keep on CREATING.


 

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Day 443: First World Problems

I recently listened the following interview on Eqafe: The Hereafter and the Next Phase of Existential Process (Part 1) – Life Review – and it was a fantastic recording. It opened up a few realizations within me which I am going to discuss in this post.

Being a first world citizen, complaining about the small shit in life, like, the fact that I have to work a couple of hours each day, that I have to cook food when I get home from work, which means that I cannot pursue my hobbies to the extent that I would have liked to, or that I have to do household chores every weekend, like cleaning and tending to my house, that is being spoiled. And man, have we not become spoiled in the first world. When something goes bad, we face difficulties in our relationships, at work, or we fail somehow, what do we tend to do? We give up.

It is interesting, because we, first world citizens, without a doubt have the most opportunities. Yet, what is it that we do with our lives? Not that much really. Most of it we spend lurking about in our emotional and feeling experiences. A question we should ask ourselves is, what could we accomplish if we would stop giving so much attention to these thoughts, emotions and feelings, that move about up there in our minds, what potential is yet to be unlocked?

For example, with my work, I can see the difference so clearly. When I am lost in thoughts, when I accept and allow myself to be preoccupied with feelings and emotions, I only function on half or less what I am capable of. On the other hand, when I make sure to be HERE, to live in the physical, then I can achieve impressive results. The human physical body and our minds have so much potential that we have yet to access, because we have used most of it to fuel completely pointless and illusory experiences and images in our minds. And not only that, we have then as well, made these illusory experiences real by accepting and allowing ourselves to act according to them. And thus, when we feel depressed, we believe that is real, and we decide to act depressed – when really – we are able to make a DECISION that we are not going to accept and allow this depression to get the better of us.

One thing that I could see for myself when listening to this interview is how important it is to make it a point in my life to SHARE and GIVE – to not become lost in all of the crap that can be thought-up about what is the right, or the wrong direction, about what is good, and what is bad, but to instead use the time to do something constructively that will SUPPORT life. And it does not have to be big things. Really, life is made up out of small actions, small deeds, that accumulate and becomes a culture, a way of living, the society and life we create together. Hence, when we accept and allow ourselves to feel like shit, to throw a tantrum because of some apparent problem in our privileged first world lives, then we create and impulse that culture/way of living into the world. And, when we do that, can we expect to have any different results? Can we expect that something is going to get better?

Life on earth is only going to get better when we as individuals get better. Thus, the primary responsibility for all of us, is to make sure that we are the best that we can be. When we are the best version of ourselves, already having that point in order, we are imprinting into the world, the system, a new pattern, a new direction, a new momentum and way to live.

I am not going to waste my life by accepting and allowing thoughts, emotions and feelings, that I have not chosen, to be the guidelines of my life. And I am not going to fall into the trap of complaining and pitying myself because there are things that I have to do in life, in order to survive. Because, as a first world citizen, I have everything at my disposal. I have water, food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, access to transportation, and the possibility, to now and then, go on a vacation – AND – I have the TIME that I need to walk my process – to write – and to now and then post a blog. Under such conditions, complaining is simply not acceptable.


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Day 332: Facing The Dark With A Smile

Relationships, often portrayed with positive words such as love, appreciate, protect, secure, adore, etc., however, the truth of a relationship is something different. In Sweden, my country of birth, the divorce rate is at 50-55 % in relation to the amount of people getting married, and the median marriage lasts for 10 years. From those numbers it is not a big leap to say that the portrayed image of relationships is not wholly accurate. And expressed coarsely, the image broadcasted of relationships is outright deceptive. Without a doubt, the major part of any relationship consists of conflicts, misunderstandings, compromises, emotions, competition, and all other forms of dysfunctional human behavior that we all inherit and learn as we come of age. That is not strange considering that we always bring our baggage as we enter into a new relationship, it is thus, impossible to create a lovely and peaceful paradise on this earth – UNLESS – we have created OURSELVES as that in our individual capacity.

There is though ways to deal with the ‘human element’ that we unfortunately bring with us as we enter into a new relationship. In this blog I am going discuss one important tool to use in the creation of a comfortable and supportive relationship – HUMOR – or – the ability to be CAREFREE in the face of adversity. This point opened recently for me as I have noticed a tendency that I have to take things very seriously. For example, I will have a discussion with my partner that then becomes more of a intense disagreement, where emotions arise within me. Instead of looking at the reason for the conflict, and why I reacted, and how to solve it, so that I do not need to walk through the same conflict situation again – what I have done is that I have focused on the idea that it is WRONG to have conflicts/arguments. And instead of expanding myself, approaching conflicts from this judgmental vantage point results in suppression of what is really going on within me.

Suppression is and has been the modus operandi of us human beings when it comes to dealing with difficult shit since ages back, and it is so clearly visible in our society. What is prison, punishment, and social exclusion but a suppression mechanism, where we remove the ‘bad’ and ‘unwanted’ dimensions of our communal experience and put it away, far away and hidden from our immediate sight, instead of looking at WHY, and HOW it happened, and what SOLUTION there is to deal with the problem once and for all? The technique of suppression is also readily applied in parenting. When children cry, or behave ‘badly’, we look at ways to suppress the behavior, either through rewards, such as praising, or sweets, or through punishments, and consequences, though seldom, we look at the cause and origin of the troublesome behavior – and hence we miss out on the opportunity to create a sustainable and long-term solution.

The question to ask ourselves is thus, WHY do we have such a difficult time in looking at the DARK, MALEFICENT, HORRIBLE, and UNWANTED within ourselves, our relationships, and society? From what I have already touched upon above, one of the reasons for this is because we JUDGE it, we are too uptight about it, we take it personally, react to it, believe it is something bad, and that we must just, immediately, without further consideration, put it away – far away.

Hence, getting back to relationships, what is then the solution for this way of looking at the dark within ourselves? How can we assist and support ourselves to ease up and be less serious about the shit that is going on both within and without? The way forward as I see it is HUMOR – because it has the property of taking the edge of things, to make things seem silly, and remove that big, heavy reaction of something being sooo BAD. And here, I am not saying that humor should be the end point, because obviously, we have to learn from our mistakes, reflect and look at them, in order to move forward – however – if we look at our mistakes in a state of reaction – our focus will become misplaced. Instead of unconditionally looking at ways to improve, our focal point will be on determining how bad we have been, and how we must now punish ourselves, to apparently through that, motivate ourselves to not be bad again. Though, it is not important to determine how bad, and wrong we have been, that which is of real substantial value is to find a lasting, sustainable solution for the future, so that we are able to prevent further consequences.

HUMOR sounds like YOU-MORE – because through humor we are able to get back to that CAREFREE state of looking at things unconditionally – and thus we are able to SEE more of ourselves – see the reality of things – because humor disarms, it cuts through the defenses, and it allows us to get a glimpse of what is actually going on, which then puts us in a position to implement changes.

Hence, conflicts, disagreements, and in general, shit that happens in a relationship, a way to disarm the seriousness of it all is through HUMOR – through seeing the stupid shit that we do and that it is many times totally insane – how can we fight and argue about such pointless things and believe that it is absolutely a matter of life and death to get our version of the story heard? It is insane, and that is what makes it so HILARIOUS. Humor, hence, is an important tool in the creation of a effective relationship with our partner, and ourselves.

And how to then practically apply humor in a moment? Well, let us say that we are in a situation where I am having a disagreement with my partner about whether or whether not to tidy up after myself when I have used the kitchen, where I will then go to great lengths to explain, and win my partner over, to my way of dealing with the kitchen, where apparently my way of doing things is of great practical value. Instead, I could in that moment see how ridiculous it is that I am standing here, talking about such a absolutely insignificant thing as to how to clean the kitchen, defending my way of doing things with all I got, when it really has no value or importance to me at all.

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Day 262: Finding a Solution

a puzzle piece made of grassWhen I turn on the television and look at the conventional newscasts that are aired every night, most often what will be shared is problems. There are problems with schools, problems with politicians, problems with money, problems with crime, problems with jobs, problems with immigrants. Seemingly millions of problems, yet, what is very, very rare is the sharing of a solution. Why is that?

To answer this question, let us take a look at our own lives, and how we approach difficulties, issues, conflicts, and other tough points that arise in our day-to-day living. Because where is our focus? We look at the problem – and over, and over again we regurgitate in our minds how big our problems are. And what we many times miss is to actively look for the SOLUTIONS. So, in this blog I am going to share a practical living application that has assisted and supported me to be more immediate, and direct when it comes to handling problems that open up in my world – and walk them into a SOLUTION.

I will share a short story from my own life that will serve as an example of this practical application: I am at the moment building an expansion to my mother’s farmhouse. The plan is that my partner and I are going to live here, and share the spacious farm environment together with my mother. It is really a fun process to be part off. Though, when it comes to building, and acquiring a house like this, it requires a lot of capital, and because of this my partner and I have had to take on a loan. And today is I was looking at the building site, and the development of the expansion, a anxiety come up from within, and it went like this: “Oh, we are taking on so much debt to be able to do this! Shit! I could have decided to live more cheaply! Man, now I will be stuck with this for a long time!”

When that thought, and energy came up within me, initially I went into it. Then I applied self-forgiveness, and instead of continuing to exist in a state of worry/anxiety I began to look at a SOLUTION. Hence, I asked myself, what is the solution to this problem I am facing? And I realized that, instead of worrying about what this project costs, I can appreciate the fact that I do have the opportunity to do something like this in my life, and really involve myself in the construction of my future abode. And instead of looking at the debt as a point of pressure, see that me taking on this debt does allow me to walk, and experience a cool process of creation together with my partner. Thus I am in an optimum position to actually create, and be part of building the future of my life from the ground up, because an important part of my future will be my house, where I am going to live.

When I realized this, I could see that it was up to me to define WHO I AM in relation to this project that I have committed myself to walk. And I understood that I must make the decision, and unless I do that, my circumstances will do it for me. But do I want to walk through my life and feel pressured just because I have debt? No – I want to be able to live, and appreciate the environment and the life I am creating for myself. Hence the solution to my problem is to live this appreciation, this enjoyment, and push myself to explore and participate in this adventure that is unfolding day by day.

This is thus an example of the practical application of how we are able find SOLUTIONS to the inner conflicts we face. I have practiced the point of immediately as a reaction comes up within me, apply a self-forgiveness statement, and then look for, and live a solution. It is not as easy as it sounds, but developing such a skill is priceless – and really – it is what we as humanity needs to create. We are too much in love with our problems and it is not good for us – thus as a rule of thumb – I suggest that we place the focus in our minds 90 % on solutions, and only 10 % on finding and gauging problems.

Day 256: Squabbling

a couple is squabbling with boxing mitsToday’s blog will be dedicated to looking more deeply into a word that I have run into in my daily living. This word is ‘squabbling’ and in the dictionary squabbling is defined as the following:

A noisy quarrel about something trivial: family squabbles.

Now, not too unexpectedly, this point has come up in relation to my partner, and the agreement we are walking together. What I have noticed in moments is that I will enter a ‘squabble-character’ – where I will latch unto some trivial point that my partner disagrees with, and then push that as ‘my point of view’. Most of the time that underlying drive within my decision is the desire to be right, and to ‘win’ – and sometimes it is that I want to experience that slightly tickling feeling of being in a light argument with another – the same type of tickling sensation that sometimes arise when you are teasing someone. And basically this tickling sensation would be the energy of superiority mixed together with some excitement, and some genuine playfulness.

Though, within living this point of squabbling, there are some obvious consequences: Firstly, sometimes the other person might simply not understand that I am ‘teasing’ him or her with a playful attitude – which can cause a reaction, and in the worst scenarios an explosion – thus walking into this squabbling-character is like playing with fire. Secondly, what is really the point of squabbling? Does it in anyway support, or build the relationship between two individuals? No, rather it’s the opposite – it’s instead a cesspool of conflict where oftentimes, things start out with a low voice, talking about things that are ‘funny’, to then escalate into more serious matters, and sensitive points, and then to become more or less a conflict, and a fight.

I have found that it is easy to fall into squabbling-mode, and then start talking, defending yourself, justifying, and excusing, because apparently, you have to ‘talk back’. But do I really have to talk back? Do I really have to make it known how I oppose a certain idea/opinion, and then try to prove to the other person how my idea/opinion is better than their idea/opinion? No – I don’t – really squabbling is a polarity game between two individuals where both try to convince each other that they are right, and better than the other. Hence, when one of those individuals makes the decision to stop – squabbling will be no more – because squabbling feeds on the back and forth motion of the argument.

I see that there are some very effective ways of stopping squabbling – one of these is to in the moment when I notice I want to speak from within this slight movement of an urge to prove a point, or show a point, that I stop myself, breathe, and realize that I will not miss out on anything by letting this urge go. I will not miss a part of myself if I am not able to convince this other person to think like me, no, I will be just the same, like before, though, more stable, and grounded, and being able to focus on things that are of more importance than trying to convince others that I am right.

Squabbling takes time, it doesn’t produce any visible results, and slowly eats away at relationships – it’s not something supportive and hence shouldn’t exist within me – thus the remainder of this blog I will dedicate to self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements to support me to walk through this mind-pattern.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within and as a squabble character, where I am squabbling with another, and automatically disagreeing, or agreeing, from a starting point of wanting to win, and be right, and have another see things from my perspective, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to this squabbling-energy, and thus not see the consequences that I am creating through participating within, and being obsessed with this squabbling character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with squabbling, where I will talk back for the sake of talking back, and for the sake of that slight rush of energy that I feel when there is almost a conflict going on between two persons, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am limiting, and suppressing my real self-expression, my real beingness expression, because I am accepting and allowing myself to be intertwined, and sucked into this energy, where I don’t see the consequences of my actions, and the ripple effects of my words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change squabbling into stability, and communicating with a grounded stability here, where I do not accept and allow myself to squabble, but I instead remain stable, grounded, here – and have my words be a true representation of who I am as a being, and not represent a system of energy that comes up within me and demands my attention

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change squabbling into stability, and clear communication, where I as such do not accept and allow myself to voice myself, and speak from that slight urge, and desire to voice myself, and say something that I know will trigger, or set off another in some way, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am utilizing words deliberately to trigger another, to in that feel powerful, and strong, and justify this with thinking that it’s only teasing, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the underlying intent is not teasing, it is wanting to be in control, and wanting to win

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that another can’t allure me into squabbling, because it is always I that respond to a energy stimulant inside of me, and then I move myself on the basis of this stimulant, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I can change a moment, and a relationship with another, through not accepting and allowing myself to respond to that urge, and experience coming up within me, of feeling that I want to talk back, or say something that might potentially cause an experience within in another in someway or another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is not a solution to talk back, because talking back implies reacting, it implies automatically and without awareness, immediately saying something to another, without considering the effect of the words, and without considering whether, or whether not I am able to stand with these words or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that a solution is to talk – to direct – to speak to another in clarity – to thus accept and allow myself to forgive any reaction that might come up, and any urge of going into squabbling-mode – so that I am able to speak and interact with another in a clarity and comfort – in a stability – where I know who I am and where I stand – and I know where my words come from – why I speak them – and what the purpose of my words are – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be more disciplined and specific with my words and how I accept and allow myself to voice myself with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify squabbling with thinking that it’s something I need to get out in the open, that I need to rinse the air, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s not a solution to ‘rinse’ the air, because in that I am not directing anything – I am only trying to get my experience out so that I can feel comfortable and good about myself – which is not taking the other person into account what-so-ever – but is only taking myself into account and how I want to feel better through unleashing my experience within me on another

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into a state of squabbling, where I experience a urge to talk, to talk back, to get my point across, and downplay another’s, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that through going into this state, and speaking in it, I am sabotaging my relationships with another, and I am suppressing my genuine, comfortable and grounded expression, thus holding myself back form in that moment communicating, and sharing solutions, and supportive ways to tackle, and direct my life and another’s – and thus I commit myself to change my communication to being stable, grounded, and clear – and use my words to assist and support and build solutions instead of creating energy through squabbling

When and as I see myself squabbling, or wanting to squabble, which is signified by the fact that I feel this urge, desire, and feeling of need to speak, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that squabbling doesn’t lead anywhere, and it doesn’t give me what I want to have, it doesn’t create cool relationships, and it will only bring, for a moment a exciting energy experience – nothing more – and thus I commit myself to instead value and place focus on the physical – on what I am doing HERE in this moment – in this breath – and how I can assist and support myself in this moment to create my life – my world – and my physical reality to be the best that it can be through the words I am speaking and the communication I am participating within

Day 187: Embracing Creativity

I will continue to hear open up the point of fear towards the future that I’ve worked in recent blogs – and this time I am going to look at the character that I’ve noticed myself go into in regards to the future – the “I-am-not-going-to-make-it”-character.

Now, this character is signified by a cynical and fearful way of looking at the future – challenges, difficulties, problems, and issues will be perceived in a negative sense – and what will play out within me is images and backchat where I walk through the worst case scenario and find myself standing without any direction or solution.

What I thus see is a solution ­– is to redefine challenges, difficulties, problems and issues – and see that they are not something to be feared or avoided – but that they represent opportunities for me to be creative – inventive – and where I can use my artistic, musical and expressive side to move through these difficulties and find a solution. Because for example when I make music – and I run into a artistic conundrum – I never hesitate, give up, or give in – I always push through – find a way – and look for the best possible solution to the problem – and I remain with it until I got it – and this side of myself is something that I see I am able to apply in other areas of my life as well – where I’ve not yet applied the creative force that I possess and which I am actually really good at bringing through and using to take the potentials that I see into physical creation and manifestation.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize and bring forth my expression of being creative, problem-solving, and focused on finding solutions into all aspects and areas of my life – and see, realize and understand that I am in-fact good at finding ways to work with points – and to bring points to fruition – and to walk through challenges and difficulties – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must accept and allow myself to embrace this skill that I have and make use of it in all areas of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my artistic, creative, and inventive expression to only be in relation to music, writing, singing, and other artistic endeavors – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am able to utilize and bring forth this expression and momentum in all areas of my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not when I face issues, difficulties, and points that I initially do not know how to direct – to immediately go into looking for solutions – looking at potentials – looking at what I am able to utilize and bring forth in order to get through the conundrum that I am facing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I face difficulties in my life in relation to career, studies, and money – to immediately give in and give up upon myself – and think that there is no way I am able handle – walk through and direct the situation that I find myself within – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is not in-fact true – it’s just that I’ve never applied that skill I have to find solutions – to be inventive – to be creative – in those areas of my life – and thus I commit myself to bring that artistic side of myself into use in all areas of my life – and primarily begin practicing with the areas of money, career and education – and thus push myself to look for solutions – to find ways – to not give in but to work and push until I’ve found a way through

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life is not very unlike music and artistic expression – that just as in music – life is a flow of events – as music is a flow of tones – and successful improvisation in music is to keenly listen at the tones and then accept and allow myself to submerge myself in the music – and live – be creative and trust myself that I will find the tone – the melody – that way that works and that is aligned with the music – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply this realization in all of my life – and in particular in the parts of my life that concern career, money and education – and understand that in applying this skill and ability I will be able to get through any obstacle – because I won’t give up – and I will push until I’ve found a way through

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am facing challenges, and difficulties in my life – in particular in relation to money, career and education – and I go into fear and giving up – I stop – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to then bring myself into that state of creativity and finding solutions – and thus investigate – make the research – and align myself within this point of self-trust – that I trust myself that I will walk through and find a way out – and not give in or give up until it’s done and I’ve directed the situation – and I am stable

I commit myself to not give up or give in to fear when I face challenges or difficulties – but instead push myself to trust myself and face the challenge head-on – and move myself until I got it – until I am stable and my direction ahead is clear – and I’ve found a solution to the point

Day 185: Changing In The Physical

2078766_cesar-millan_xiofoybapldfn74hi3lfpem6lhncurxrbvj6lwuht2ya6mzmafma_610x360I’ve recently been watching a television show called ‘the Dog Whisperer’ that stars Cesar Milan – and it’s about the rehabilitation of dogs and the training of human beings (owners) to enable them to effectively care for their dogs. What is fascinating about this show is that Cesar Milan is very perceptive and works with that which we in Desteni refers to as ‘resonance’ or ‘presence’ – and the basic principle he shares throughout the shows is always the same – you create your relationship with your dog in quantum timemeaning: What you think, feel, or perceive in your relationship with your dog is not the creative force – instead you create the relationship immediately with WHO YOU ARE – you create with your very beingness presence – the HOW – of your approach to a particular situation.

Let me give you an example: In one of the shows Cesar Milan is sent to assist and support a woman that have difficulties with her dog – the problem being that her dog is very fearful and nervous around people. The story is that she saved the dog as a puppy from the streets – and ever since she took him into her care – he’s been nervous, fearful and had difficulties bonding with and trusting other people. When the dog meets someone new – he’ll most cower or try to run away.

When Cesar Milan first enters the situation he asks the owner some questions and looks at the basic physical relationship between the human and the dog – and in this show he could see that the reason the dog was afraid was due to how the owner felt guilt and remorse that her dog experienced fear – as well as due to the fact that her dog had spent the initial parts of it’s life on the streets. What this created on a quantum physical level was an acceptance and nourishing of the dogs current state of being – and instead of supporting the dog to be fearless – the owner supported the dog to continue it’s obsession with fear – simply because the owner accepted and allowed that behavior and supported it through the behavior of validating it as a real and valid cause of living insecurity and fearfulness.

Cesar Milan then showed the woman (owner) how she could re-create the relationship through standing as a point of support for her dog – stable, calm and directive (calm assertive as Cesar puts it) – and in that state of being taking the dog out and assisting it to challenge it’s fears – and this approach turned out to be very effective.

So, what I could see here and also relate to is that we create our world through WHO WE ARE – it’s the presence of ourselves – that presence which we resonate and live that creates our lives – and this is also something that can be applied to process and what we’re walking in relation to the mind. Because an interesting point that I’ve noticed – is that we sometimes expect the mind to change because we ‘say it in our minds’ – for example “stop now!” – when obviously – the mind can’t be directed and moved in that dimension of words spoken in the mind – real change takes place when we literally STAND as the change within ourselves – when we LIVE the change – and STAND as the word which we see must be developed within ourselves for us to move forward and transcend a particular point.

Let’s take the example of fear – in directing an experience of fear it’s not enough to just say ‘stop’ to the fear – because we’ve trained our physical bodies and ourselves on a physical level to respond to and be conditioned within fear – thus what we’re not immediately aware of is that when we go into fear – our shoulders will start slouching, our head will nod downwards slightly, and our muscles will constrict in certain parts of our body – and if we want to change the fear experience within ourselves – what is required is not only that we change what comes up in our mind – but also that we direct and re-align our very physical expression and participation in the moment; that we straighten up – pull our shoulders back – and that we dare to look up – face and walk through the moment as it presents itself here. How we really live and exist is thus not something that we’re able to see only through observing what we think – we must also pay attention to and observe our physical actual participation – the resonance and presence we stand as in the moment – and in order for the change to be genuine – we must ‘believe’ or ‘live’ the change in us and then take it through into real physical expression; Meaning it’s not enough to merely change how we move physically – we must also stand as that word within ourselves (for example self-confidence) and then express it through our physicals – thus re-aligning our presence and our way of dealing with and moving with life utilizing the stable assistance and support of our human physical bodies.

Thus – in stopping a particular construct and aspect of the mind – it’s important that we take into account and look at the three ingredients of self-creation; Thought, Word and Deed – our Thought being our inner process of self-correction where we change how we think about the point – our Word being the direction and movement of ourselves in the moment – the Who We Are – and the Deed – being us living that Who We Are into the physical – standing as the word we see would assist and support us in walking through and transcending a particular pattern.

Cesar Milan effectively shows how through aligning and changing our Deeds – we’re at the same time able to change the Thoughts and the Words we live – when we step into a new way living – and push ourselves to physically live and create ourselves as a word – and within that deliberately re-create our physical presence and participation – we equally support ourselves to transform on a inner level – which shows the principle: As within so without – and equally – so without so within.