Tag Archives: purpose

Day 417: What Difference Between Yes and No?

What I like about children is that they do not define themselves according to the past, neither do they define themselves according to the future, neither do they define themselves according to what they do. For example, if you ask a child what he or she is doing, he will answer that is doing whatever he is involved with in that moment. He will not explain what kind of career he aspires to have, what future he hopes for, what kind of hobbies he is involved with. He will share himself – and as a child his attention is completely HERE.

I miss that ability to be completely engulfed in living as it takes place HERE – with such an intense presence that the past and the future dissolves. Because as an adult, I have become so used to pursuing plans, goals, careers, ideas, various abstract structures, that are helpful and do have a natural place in life, but that can block my life force when allowed to be in the foreground. Plans, goals, the past, and the future, that is not life – these are tools to live LIFE – and as tools – I decide when to use them. If my plans and my goals constantly arise within my inner mind throughout my day, and take focus from my present moment, then I am not in control, and then I have lost my childish innocence and ability to be present here.

There is a really good quote from Lao Tzu on this point:

“Stop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes and no?
What difference between success and failure?
Must you value what others value,
avoid what others avoid?
How ridiculous!

Other people are excited,
as though they were at a parade.
I alone don’t care,
I alone am expressionless,
like an infant before it can smile.

Other people have what they need;
I alone possess nothing.
I alone drift about,
like someone without a home.
I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty.

Other people are bright;
I alone am dark.
Other people are sharp;
I alone am dull.
Other people have purpose;
I alone don’t know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind.

I am different from ordinary people.
I drink from the Great Mother’s breasts.”

What I take from this quote is that there is great peace, joy and calm in living completely HERE and not defining oneself according to the changes that is a constant in reality. And it makes sense – that if I do not define my reality as positive or negative – and I do not define the changes that occur as good or bad – I will simply deal with whatever comes my way without any particular instability. When there are no expectations, no fears, no hopes, no desires – I will be able to live without constantly looking for something more and reacting to what comes about.

When it comes to purpose, I also enjoy this quote. Some days ago I heard a philosopher that talked about purpose. He said that if you lock yourself into a room for a month, then after a while, you will get an urge to do something, and that which you want to do, that is your purpose. What I saw however was that such an approach to purpose is limiting. Purpose is not something that is supposed to control us – and purpose will change from moment to moment. It does not make sense that we have one interest, hobby or passion that is to be our guiding beacon in life – and that we are supposed to arrange everything according to this experience. Because if that is the case, we will miss everything else! There is so much to life and to ourselves, and each moment holds a gift – a present to be unwrapped.

I do not want to have one purpose – I want to be purposeful – and repurposed for each and every moment to be the best that I can be. If my daughter needs some from me – my purpose is to be there for her. If I require to do something at work – my purpose is to get it done. If I am by myself with nothing in particular to do – my purpose can be whatever I wish – I can give myself the purpose to utterly relax and let go – and for a moment – allow my body to regain its energy. And living like this can probably be seen as an aimless drift – however there is a structure and a direction – it is in every moment – it is flexible and embracing – the same as water – and shifting with whatever is required. Water can crash, it can pour gently, it can find its way through small cracks or move around objects – it always works in symmetry with its environment.

I will be like water and practice living in every moment come what may – and stop valuing what others value, or make differences between yes and no, success and failure – all of it is still only different nuances of the present moment.


Day 391: Create Purpose In Everything

I have spent much time looking for a purpose – THE purpose – THE direction – THE way forward. In everything from work, to leisure time, partner to involvement in organizations – I have wanted to find THE right way forward – that which I was meant to do. I have believed that this purpose of mine was already designed – ready for me to step into – my only task was to find it. It is in design similar to religion and faith.

Because I was looking for THE purpose – I was always in a state of doubt. Many opportunities came my way – and I grasped some of them – however – always with a nagging emotion of doubt deep inside of myself. I thought to myself: ‘What if this not the right way? What if this is wrong? What if I should be doing something different?’. And that is the problem with relying on someone or something else to create a purpose for me. How do I know that it is the right one? I might step into the wrong one – and what will I do then?

This is why I have decided to let go of this limited definition of purpose. And it is suitable that recently in the Desteni group a new definition of purpose has opened up – ‘Mini-Purposes’. The meaning of ‘Mini-Purposes’ is that everything in our lives can potentially be directed into something supportive that allows us to expand and grow – and to help others do the same.

Let us take a normal weekday. We get up, go to work to make money and long to get home the entire day. Then we go home, cook food, and long to be able to sit in the couch and look at TV for a moment before we go to bed. Then we sleep, wake up and restart the process. Our entire day has passed without us engaging at all. We just moved through it all without effort or direction – doing what we always do – thinking what we always think – longing to be somewhere else. And what is funny is that – part of our day – we might have spent looking at and imagining what our purpose might be.

Now compare this to living a weekday in the following way. We get up, and use those moments of waking up to check in with our body, take some deep comforting and relaxing breaths – and we make breakfast as a moment of enjoyment and pleasure. Then we go to work – where we push to develop an aspect of ourselves – for example – learning from colleagues – looking at what are their strengths and how we are able to emulate such expressions to empower ourselves. Then we go home – and push ourselves to be present and develop a connection with our family members. And then we go to bed – and before we fall asleep – check what we can change/strengthen till our next day.

The latter way of living is purposeful – it is living a weekday with passion, fire and effort – striving to make that which might seem ordinary – to our story of movement and expansion – where we learn and inspire others to become the best that they can be. There is so much potential to be harnessed – and part of what makes it difficult to grasp this fact is that we believe that purpose must be something grandiose and big – out there! No – that is not true – there is purpose in everything – however we must design it – we must create it – we must give ourselves purpose within our lives.

The difference between living a fulfilled life and a unfulfilled one is that in the former – we decide to FILL our lives with DIRECTION and PURPOSE. Nothing is there only by coincidence – nothing is there only as a chore and trite requirement of survival – it is what we make of it.

This also brings up the point that creating ideas of a purpose out there can be very limiting in terms of actually beginning the process of living purpose. Looking at myself – many of my purposes have been conditioned by location, time, by a variety of external factors being fulfilled. For example – at one time I wanted to become a movie director – and all of my energy and effort was directed into this dream. However – during this process of becoming and reaching my purpose – I neglected the life that was around my – I became monotone and lost track of my Mini-Purposes – my opportunities to create Mini-Impacts and Mini-Ripples – and to live a fulfilling life here instead of waiting for life to happen.

Dreams of the future can be useful in terms of creating a direction – however – they can never substitute real fulfillment – because that will only always be developed, expressed and experienced HERE. The challenge is thus to develop our Mini-Purposes and LIVE them in reality. To make everything matter – and stop waiting.


Day 460: Then, Now, and What’s to Come

I have been listening to two newly released interviews on Eqafe which I found to be very supportive:

Then, Now, and What’s to Come – Reptilians – Part 585
Then, Now, and What’s to Come: Consequence and Creation – Reptilians – Part 586

One of the solutions suggested in the interviews, when facing difficult and challenging experiences, is to, when the challenge opens up, to immediately ask: What can I learn from this, how can I substantiate my being from this, what word can I apply and live here? And then, answering those questions in the moment, and pushing oneself to live the answers. The focus hence being on real time living and real time change.

For myself, I have practiced real time living for many years. It is difficult. One of these difficulties is to break through justifications. Because seeing that real time change is possible, which opens up in a moment, is usually accompanied by a justification of some sort, as to why it is not possible to live that solution immediately. An example would be that I have a moment of conflict with my partner regarding who is to do the dishes. During the conflict I am able to see that a solution would be to slow down, and instead of approaching it subjectively, to look at what can be done to prevent this conflict in the future, and hence suggest that we establish a schedule as to who is to be responsible for the dishes. Then, the justifications will come through as follows: ‘Why should I be the responsible one? She would not listen anyway, there is no meaning. It will not help establishing a schedule, we will not follow it anyway’.

A justification has the following definition in the dictionary ‘the action of showing something to be right or reasonable’. I recognize a justification by its argumentative style – its a reason that apparently make sense as to why I should not apply/live the solution I have identified. The best way I have found to not give into the justification in those moments is to simply not give it any room within me, but immediately act on the solution that I have seen. When I act immediately, there is no time or space to construct and follow a justification. Hence, immediacy is a effective tool to counter justifications – and this is something I will continue to practice – so that I can master the skill of moving pushing myself when challenges open up to EXPAND and LEARN.

Another point mentioned in the interviews is that what will now start coming through more and more is our own voice of reason and our ability to see and recognize what is best for us. However, the challenge that we will still face is to pull this reason through into reality. An example might be that we see for ourselves that it would be supportive if start working out regularly or that we start writing a dairy on a recurring basis. I see, for myself, that learning how to act on and will that voice of common sense into life will be a key skill to develop in order to make my creation process more effective. It is definitely something that I am going to pursue in the coming year.

Thus, what am I able to learn, what points do I see that I want to create after having listened to these interviews?

What I see as a priority for me is to create within me is to take on the challenge of the points that I find to be really difficult – and instead of reacting and going into a state of victimization – to push myself to ask what I am able to learn, how am I able to expand, and how I am able to move forward with this point? To not accept and allow myself to give up and believe that it is impossible for me to change what I am facing only because it is difficult. To not accept and allow any justification to hold me back, but to make the decision, to look at and live the solution.

I also want to manifest/bring into my life, my voice of reason. Here, I do see that there are a couple of interests that I have desired/considered taking on that I have let slide. I will also push myself to pursue those interests, because I know that they have something to offer – there is something for me to learn within them. Thus, instead of waiting for my interests to come to me, I will start actively engaging in all of the interests/projects that caught my eye.

To summarize – what I will focus on is Creation and Movement instead of waiting, hoping, and giving up – I want to bring INTO reality.


 

Day 446: Finding Passion and Purpose

Passion and purpose. Things that I have had a tendency to look for out there. I am confident that I am not alone in that. It is like the words passion and purpose in themselves have a energy of exertion – towards/against something/someone else but self here.

Though, I have realized a couple of interesting points for myself as of late. I sat down to write on the words of passion and purpose and I ended up asking myself the following question. Is it even possible to SHARE/GIVE passion and purpose towards the world out there if we have not yet given ourselves these words within ourselves in our relationship towards ourselves?

I would say, NO, it is not possible. And the world as well as history is literally full of examples. People that have moved themselves arduously to create/manifest a particular outcome/goal that would empower/enrich humanity in some way – but that along the way forgot COMPLETELY about themselves. Let us look at the main character in the movie Kinsey, which is based on Alfred Kinsey, the famous sexologist who founded the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex. In the movie, Alfred Kinsey is depicted as utterly and wholly passionate with his project of mapping the sexual inclinations of the American people. Again and again, his stout determination comes through. He lives focused and purposefully.

Though, he might have been passionate and purposeful with his project to map out sex. However in the movie, he is depicted as having many character flaws and problems. One example being, that he works too much, and that he does not have time for his spouse and his children, or that he lets his work take over and change the way he relates to his family – making everything about what he is currently researching at his work. At the end of the movie, it becomes clear that he has worked too hard. His body is frail and he over exhausts himself. His purpose, his passion, becomes a drug – a way to hide from himself – and not a point of GIVING.

The movie Kinsey nicely exemplifies what I touched upon above. That real purpose and passion, it always begins from within. You cannot go out into the world and believe that you are going to make a lasting impact, unless you have effectively changed your own flaws. The same goes in relationships and agreements, you cannot attempt to support another to change, unless you have walked through and supported yourself to change that point. The within reflects the without.

I have realized that finding passion and purpose is the wrong way to look at it. Rather, the point is to CREATE passion and purpose, and begin living these words in the SMALL for and as myself – in my small world. Then, when I have established the words as a consistent part of my daily living – I can expand – and take on a slightly bigger point.

Hence, trying to find purpose would be a dead end alley. The point is rather to CREATE self in all ways – when that is done properly – purpose – or rather – a clear direction – will emerge naturally. And it is thus important to remember, that when we start to look for something to give us direction out there, it means that we have not yet given direction to our own process of self-creation.

 


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Day 398: Purpose Has Left The Building

What is my purpose? Am I on the right track, or… have I missed my purpose? Have I failed to do what I should in my life? Is it too late for me? This feels so right, is this my purpose? Where is my purpose? Who is my purpose? What should I do to understand and learn about my purpose?

Recognize yourself in these? I do – these questions above are what have been circulating over and over again each time I have tried to open up and develop the point of purpose to a grounded and practical living application. Due to the extensive usage of purpose in our world, where this word has been given, almost, magical attributes, and where we are from a young age trained to look out our lives in terms of finding ‘our way’ – ‘our career’ – ‘what we are going to do when become old’ – it has been very difficult for me to use the word purpose effectively. It became such a big thing for me – so important – so grandiose – I just had to select ‘the right’ purpose – and obviously that felt extremely difficult because that purpose would apparently ‘define the rest of my life’.

Hence – PURPOSE has played its part to describe living in meaningful and fulfilling life through daily practical application – and another word has entered into my life – MATTER.

It was through listening to the Eqafe interview Purpose Has Left The Building that I could see and understand that purpose was not the word I needed to bring out the best in myself – and hence I suggest for anyone interested in reexamining their relationship to meaningful living to take a listen this interview. Because in looking for purpose – we miss the very point of LIVING with purpose – which should be about living in a way where ALL the small moments of LIFE are given attention and recognition – where our life MATTERS – and each moment MATTER – and is used/lived in a way that is meaningful.

Is it not, that all we are looking for in our lives when we try to establish our purpose, is fulfillment and meaning? We want there to be something MORE but only ourselves, and our own small petty problems/desires/wants/wishes/hopes – we want LIFE to MEAN something. Though, why do we first need a purpose to give LIFE and ourselves MEANING – when we can simply make the decision HERE – to MATTER? It does not make sense – and hence I will stop looking for my purpose and instead – through living the word MATTER – make my life purposeful.


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Day 395: The Power of Writing

How to remain self-honest and walk process, how to not get distracted and lost in the entertainment offered within the system, how to keep one’s focus and chosen direction in life even though so much time goes into working, money, and other forms of responsibilities that must be handled in order to survive?

These are questions I have been looking at recently, because in acquiring a full time job, getting access to more money and a easier, more comfortable life, it is easy to forget what is important, it is easy to forget one’s purpose, and forgetting that, so many people in this world are without their basic necessities, living in unacceptable conditions, in a system that does not cater to the needs of everyone. What I have found as a solution to this problem is WRITING – the WRITTEN word – that has become my sanity and point of grounding. When everything spins fast, sitting down by my computer, and establishing the words I want to live and stand as within my life helps a lot. In writing, I am able to reaffirm my purpose, direction, movement – I am able to remind myself of what is crucial and what I want to do with myself – because with writing – I have a moment with myself where I am able to deliberately choose my WORDS – and my words become my WORLD.

If we take a look out in the world – we are constantly bombarded with words; advertisements, newspapers, television programs, books, music, conversations with other people – there is a on going soundboard of words entering our worlds daily. Hence – it is not strange that if we ourselves do not take responsibility to design ourselves according to the words we see are best – that we will slowly but surely loose focus – start to slip – forget – become led astray – because we begin to live and integrate words that others have put out into the world – instead of sticking with our own words – that we have decided upon because we see that they are best for us.

Because of this I have decided to put in some time to write most mornings before I leave for work – I use a pen and a paper and I allow it to take time required. However, with writing, I have found that it is not the amount written that matters, it is the principle, the direction, the clarity, the intent, the decisiveness in the words. I can write for an entire day – though if I am not self-honest – it will mean nothing at all. Same is true the other way around, I can write but one sentence, however with that sentence I can change my entire day – I can make a clear decision as to who I am going to be and live that day and then apply it – and through that make a directive and supportive movement in my life.

Hence – with writing – the power lies in writing words that MATTER – writing words that come from the HEART – and then – through writing – looking for and establishing solutions that can be lived PRACTICALLY – PHYSICALLY – HERE. It is through process of placing words that matter that I have been able to support myself to remain grounded and focused on my direction – and hence it is something that I would suggest for anyone interested in supporting themselves to make and create something more with their lives – a life lived from within and as principle – and not moved from thought to thought without any plan or goal.

 


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Day 350: Writing, The Way to Fill Life With Purpose

It is not strange that many feel purposeless and lost. This tends to happen when we loose touch with the physical reality, with our genuine self-expression, and our focus becomes more and more zoned into what happens within our minds. I have noticed, for myself, that the experience of being purposeless and lost goes hand in hand with my own relationship with myself – and interestingly enough – this relationship has been very much dependent upon writing.

Some weeks ago I made a decision to write more for myself. I have usually written about once a week, though now, I decided to write once every day or once every other day. The effects of applying this decision were immediate and positive, especially with regards to how I experienced myself in relation to words such as purpose, direction and movement. Because in when moving, working and living within the system on a daily basis, it is easy to forget what matters. If we do not nourish our relationship with ourselves properly, soon enough we will begin to feel empty and lost. And that is when it is easy to believe that we need a energy to feel alive and on track – that we need some form of personal reinvention – for example – a new hobby, a new car, a new girlfriend or a new job. However it is never about what to do, experience, achieve, get, own, out there – it is always and only about ourselves.

When I started to write more regularly, I noticed that my mind became more quiet, and the experience of being without purpose that had been stirring within me for a while, it was not there anymore. I was surprised, because I initially thought that I had to establish some form of direction in relation to the world system, to direct my experience of being without purpose. That was not the case, because purpose, is not something that can be achieved out there – purpose is something that we live within and as ourselves – it is all about who we are.

Yet, why is it that writing is such a powerful tool when it comes to establishing purpose? I see it the following way. Purpose, which is a clear sense and understanding of what I am doing here and to what end, is dependent upon inner clarity, that is the ability to see ourselves and our life clearly. And writing is one of the most effective tools for establishing clarity, because when we place down words before us, and through that with awareness design our understanding/seeing of reality and ourselves, we create clarity. Seeing clearly is thus a matter of having a clear and solid vocabulary, with which we have clearly defined and made sense of the world we interact with on a daily basis.

Writing is how we investigate, expand, move and create ourselves and our lives. In placing words, we design ourselves, and that brings through clarity, which in turns enables us to live with purpose. And purpose is simply to be clear on what we are doing, live with a reason, and have a clear direction – and with writing – we are able to establish that direction – re-focus our attention on what we want to create/expand/move/direct. That is why writing is so important, and why everyone interested in finding stability and purpose in their lives should use writing daily to expand their relationship with themselves.