Tag Archives: reach

Day 369: Comparing Your Reach

I recently listened to two Eqafe interviews that I can warmly recommend:

These interviews covered the topic of wanting to have a impact, wanting to influence, wanting to be noticed/seen by others and what consequences this behavior can cause. The example used in the interview was that of social media; when we spend most of our time trying to share what is going on in our lives in a interesting way, so that we can in turn receive the attention we desire. I suspect that there are many out there that are able to relate to this.

Personally I do not have issue with social media – however – that does not mean that I have been spared from the desire to achieve fame and have a impact. For me, this desire has taken other shapes and found its way into my work and my decisions in terms of hobbies and interests. One example of how this desire have limited me is the following: By nature, I am a eclectic. I enjoy variety, pursuing new interests, paths, and testing out new things. And often I discover new avenues that I would like to discover. However, the aforementioned desire has from time to time limited from moving forward on those avenues. Because in the back of my mind there has been this voice asking: Who will notice/be effected if I decide to pursue this point? Hence, I have evaluated my ideas on the basis of what kind of reach/effect I would be able to achieve. And if my evaluation ended up in the conclusion that I would not be able to achieve any noteworthy impact – then I would withhold myself from pursuing the point.

By listening to these interviews, I have again become reminded of how important it is to not compare myself with anyone else. It does not matter what anyone else is doing, it does not matter how many people I reach, what is important is that I walk by my own self-honesty, and that I give effort into my life that is already here. Because fact of the matter is that I do already have a certain reach. It might not be global and it might not touch that many – though even still I am important and I do have a significant impact – people, animals, plants, things – there are many that are dependent on me. And if I am busy trying to increase my reach – obsessed and lost in the desire to achieve fame and notoriety – then I will miss and forget these points in my life which I do already have a responsibility towards.

Hence – instead of increasing my reach – my focus should be on perfecting the influence/impact I already have – to thus make sure that I am living what is best, and giving what is best, for the people, animals and plants in my life, that are dependent on me. And that is what I will focus upon whenever this desire to acquire a broader reach comes up within me – FOCUS on what is HERE already and build on that.


Day 445: When Competition Puts Us Off Course

Competition is a strange thing. Especially the kind of competition that just happens. For example, the competition that exists at the office, where one guy gets the promotion, the other does not, the next guy gets close to the boss, and the third does not. When a lot of people come together, such as in a organization, there is bound to be some competition.

For myself, I have found, that when I give into and become engulfed in competition, I lose my direction. What used to be important becomes less so, and what takes its place is the DESIRE to WIN, to reach that position/point/top that everyone else seems to strive towards, and hence, that must be really worthwhile. Though it is not even about the position. It is about proving to everyone else, and to myself, that I could reach that position, and nobody else could. Thus, it is a complete illusion, based solely on wanting to become someone to someone other than me, to feel better, and it has nothing to do with what I actually want to do – that which is my REAL expression.

Competing this way is not constructive, rather it is destructive. Instead of strengthening our own individual unique expressions, we all strive towards the same goal, the same achievement, and all try to climb the same ladder. It is unfortunate, because what is a genuine success/achievement for one person might not be so for another. Accordingly it does not make any sense to set ourselves and our lives up with the intent of winning – because at the end of the day – if we have given up on everything that is unique and individual about ourselves to reach that position/status/goal – then have we really won? Have we not in-fact lost a part of ourselves – that unconditional drive and movement within us that acts/express without wanting rewards – but where the expression in itself is enough to be wholly fulfilling.

I have tried to walk both paths in my life. Getting lost in the wheel of competition, striving towards something more, without really understanding why – and then also – moving myself to fulfill myself through doing that which I really enjoy/love. And with the latter, I have found that it does not even have to be something that I love/enjoy – the difference is all in HOW I approach the point. In my work for example, that occasionally can be less than stimulating, I have found pleasure and drive in practicing being thorough, structured and specific. I have practiced living those characteristics without aspiring a position or a certain status, I have done it for MYSELF.

I do recognize that it can be easy to lose oneself in these games of competition that is played in all parts of life in some way or another. And, everyone else seems to be in it, so why should not I do it as well? And if I do decide to walk my own path, will I miss out on something? What if that grand-prize at the top of the ladder is worth it all? There are definitely fears associated with deciding upon and walking the path less traveled – and there are far less that travels the path of self-expression compared to the path of competition. However, only because the mass of people does something, it does not mean that it is right for ME, it does not mean that it is supportive, and it does not mean that it is BEST.

About two years ago, just about as I finished my university degree, I decided to move back to where I grew up, to the rural parts of Sweden. This went against what everyone of my classmates decided to do. Most of them went to the capital city to get the top tier jobs. And since I moved, I have had this nagging fear/stress that I might be missing out on something. I have sometimes started to make sketches in my mind of moving back to the big city, to find myself a top job, and create my success story. Though part of me has been drawn to the country side, the quiet, the opportunities that exist in immersing oneself in hobbies such as gardening and carpentry. This to me perfectly exemplifies the effect that competition can have on my mind – and on a mind in general. Because when I look at it, there is no objective, quantifiable and practical benefit to moving back to the city and acquiring a ‘top job’. I have everything set where I live in terms of money and shelter – and I am very satisfied with my daily routines. Hence this begs the question, why this urge to move upwards in the ladder of success? Why this urge to give up that which I want for myself, to do what I perceive everyone else wants, values and desires? It makes NO sense.

And that is where I would like to end of – with the conclusion that: competition makes NO sense. Competition is not rational, it is not practical, it is not thought through and it is not supporting us to fulfill our utmost potential. Giving into competition dehumanizes us, makes us machines racing to prove our value to some unknown force, while at the same time devaluing and losing our own unique potential, our own individual point of expression that cannot be measured in terms of winning and losing.

Hence – instead of competing – we should embrace our own VALUE, our own UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL expression – that which cannot be compared and measured in relation to another – because that is where we will find real and lasting fulfillment.

Learn more about this way of living

Day 298: Cooperation, The Antidote To Fame Issues

For some time now I have been facing two conflicts in me. One of these has been in relation to purpose, were I have experienced that the way I approach purpose is forced, and instead of it coming naturally, it has been a constant point conflict. An example of how this conflict would play out was through me doubting what purpose I should pick for myself, what direction that I should place my focus unto, etc. The other point of conflict has been in relation to career, and work, where I have been conflicted about what direction to go into.

So, through communicating about these points with a fellow destonian, I was able to see that these conflicts stemmed from believes, as well as a desire – more specifically – the desire to become famous. I was assisted to find a word that would support me to step out of this programming and hence the word cooperation opened up. This made sense to me, because in cooperation, there is no one individual that is winning or being more than any other. When cooperating it is instead a common goal, and a common direction that takes precedence, and what is important is how well the cooperation is working, not whether one individual is doing more, or being better than any other.

Hence, in this blog I will redefine and establish the word cooperation within me – how I can live and apply this word in my life and utilize it to support me through the desire for fame.

My current understanding of and how I have lived cooperation

The way I have lived cooperation up to this point in my life has been primarily in relation to work. At work, I have enjoyed cooperation, and finding ways to work together as a team with my colleagues – and fascinatingly enough – at work I am not that worried about me not becoming recognized, or seen because of my efforts. Instead I have put in my work load, because I want to do my part for the team.

At home however, I have been less effective when it comes to cooperation. Often, I have tried to get out of undesired responsibilities and commitments that I have been asked to assist with, and I currently view household work, not as a cooperation, but more as something that I have to get done as a individual effort.

I do however enjoy cooperation when I give myself to it and allow myself to unconditionally assist and support another in their efforts. Then I see the work done as a cooperation – something done together to achieve a commonly desired result.

Dictionary definition of cooperation

  • The action or process of working together to the same end.
    • Assistance, especially by complying readily with requests.
    • Economics; the formation and operation of cooperatives.

Sounding of the word


The direct translation from swedish is ‘to-work-together’.


late 15c., from Middle French coopération, or directly from Late Latin cooperationem (nominative cooperatio) “a working together,” noun of action from past participle stem of cooperari “to work together” from com- “with” + operari “to work”

Being creative; looking at how this word can be lived

In sounding the word, the sounds CO and OPERATION comes through – hence the sounds are clear – cooperation means working together. In swedish the direct translation of cooperation is ‘working together’ – and thus there is really no conundrums with this word. The meaning is clear.

A different thing to look at would be how to live this word. In looking at my own life, I see that I can implement cooperation into how I look at for example household responsibilities, and living together with others, and also when it comes to bringing through a change in this world. Because, when I look at changing this world, usually I see this as being only my responsibility, and a feat that will be accomplished by primarily my efforts – however in looking at world change through cooperation – it is clear that I will only but play a part. There is none more or less important, as we will all stand a particular point in the process of change – it will as such be a collaborate effort – a cooperation.

Thus, to embrace and live cooperation more in my life, I can start by looking at responsibilities, commitments, and other processes of life, from a holistic vantage point – seeing all the various lives involved in a process of creation, who benefits, what outflows there are, and understanding that it is a collaborative effort.

Another aspect of this is when looking at structures of hierarchy. In the system, the top chief, the commander, is seen as being of utmost importance. Though, for the structure (the group, or army in this case) to function and be the best that it can be, all parts of the organization must be effective and work towards result that the group as a whole wants to achieve. It is as such fuzzy logic to view only the top of the organization as important, because in order for the group to move – all the small parts and their individual efforts are equally important.

Redefining the word

Working together to achieve a commonly envisioned goal

Day 181: From ME to WE

I’ve for quite some time been walking a point that is in relation to the fear of the future, and in particular the fear of not earning sufficient with money, not choosing the right career, and more generally not being on top things – and today I am going to open up another dimension of this point that I’ve realized, and that have helped me a lot in being able to let go of worry, fear and concern in regards to my future.

So, one aspect of this career-character that I tend to go into, is that I will look at my life, my future, and my environment, only from a ME perspective, it’s all about ME, my future, my life, my experiences, my hopes, and my expectations, and what I can do and create for myself. For example in relation to career, here I’ve been struggling with a fear that I will go into the wrong direction, that I will pick a career that is not the best for me, and that I will in that not use my time effectively, and mess up my life, and the possibility for me to “make something” out of myself in this life – and I mean – looking at the origin of this fear it’s clear that there is only one concern and care – ME.

Thus, what I could see today as I applied self-forgiveness on this point, is that there exists another starting point from which I can create my life – a starting point that will not breed fear – and that is the starting point of WE – looking at my life as a tool of life to bring forth change in this world – to leave mark behind – but not as something that I do for ME personally – but something that I do as a service to life.

I could see, that when I embraced, and stood within this starting point of looking at my life, my future, and my environment from a starting point of WE, there was no fear within me, there was not concern or worry that I would make the wrong decision, because really – that isn’t relevant – what is relevant is instead that I place, direct and move myself to have an impact that can be measured, not as something that I do for myself, but as something that I do for life – thus in that – there is no self-interest that can be lost – there is no time to be lost or opportunity to be missed out upon that would harm me personally – simply because the personal ME isn’t that which is important – what is important is instead the whole, the group, humanity – everything that is here is equally important and deserve equal consideration and care.

I realized that when I look at my life from this perspective it’s much more simplistic for me to make decisions, because it’s not anymore about what I can get out of life and the decisions I make, it’s not about what I have to loose or win – it’s instead about: What will this bring that will benefit everyone? What will this do that will serve the interest of all? In this the ME is not anymore the centerpiece of my attention – and thus – all the fears and worries connected to the survival of the ME are let go – and instead focus and attention can shift into that which is of actual importance – the WE – supporting and enhancing the WE – giving my life to the support of LIFE as everyone’s LIFE.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at my life, and the decisions in my life in regards to career and future from a ME-perspective, wherein I only look at things from what I can get out of it, instead of looking at my future and life from a WE-perspective, as in seeing what I am able to bring forth, and give in my lifetime that will be to the benefit of everyone – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to align myself within and as a self-interested way of looking at my life – and in this create the consequential outflow of fear – because in only caring about ME and MY interests – there is a fear that I will loose MY interests and the life of ME

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in relation to my career, and my future, to assess where and how I’m to place myself from a starting point of ME, from a starting point of looking at what I would be excited towards, what I would feel stimulated by, what I would feel happy doing, and in this only look at my experience, and exist in this small space between my ears, where it’s only ME that exists and there is nothing more – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not expand myself – and start looking at things from a WE perspective – start looking at things from a perspective of what I am able to give – what I am able to share – and how I am able to enhance life – the physical – this world – and leave a mark behind in this world that is not for ME – but for everyone as the WE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the fear I experience is in-fact a cross-reference point that shows me that my living, my considerations, and my way of looking at things, is still more aligned to the ME than to the WE – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to align myself with the WE – to push myself to when I look at decisions, my future, what I am to do, or not to do, to bring in more considerations, more outflows, more details, how my actions will impact on a existential level, how my actions will impact those in my direct environment, what my actions will cause, and what the effect will be – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to live a peaceful life – I require to let go of the ME and embrace the WE – because only in doing that will I be able to lead a life without fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that where there is excitement there is self-interest, and that where there is fear, there is self-interest, and thus I see, realize and understand that I am able to use these experiences as references to see where I am still holding unto the obsession for myself – and the obsession of creating and manifesting MY life – and the ME – and making ME the centerpiece of this world – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question and ask myself why I have this tendency to glorify and go into a fog of self-obsession – wherein I am on a racetrack and I must reach the goal – not considering that there is much more going on here – and that when I am living my life only to pleasure myself – I am not a part of the solution – I am not a part of the new way of life – I am a part of the problem – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dedicate my life to the WE – and let go of the ME – and realize that WE comes first – the group comes first and the individual comes second – that’s the only way to make sure that no abuse takes place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I go into a fear for my own future, and my own survival, I completely disregarding and missing the fact that there are billions of people on this planet, billions of animals, and billions of beings, all of which I am not taking into account when I simply live to serve myself – instead of looking at how I am able to contribute with my life to a solution that will benefit everyone – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change – and re-direct my focus – from ME-survival – to WE-enhancement – and WE-consideration – wherein I instead of fearing for my own life – use that time and energy to live and create solutions for ALL

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to direct myself to consider the WE in everything I do – and I commit myself to practice, and change how I look at my life, my future, and how I plan and make decisions, to take into account the WE – and thus realize that ME is but a part of the whole and that a effective decision must be made within and as the consideration of the WHOLE – the GROUP and everyone that are involved and affected; and thus I commit myself to let go of the obsession with the ME and start considering the WE

I commit myself to let go of the obsession with MY own life and MY pleasure and what I can get from something – and I commit myself to instead ask myself – what can I give – what can I contribute – what can I live that will assist and support life – and how am I able to use my skills and abilities to support and nourish life – and nourish the development of the WE – of the WHOLE

Clarifying Common Misunderstandings About Desteni

The following blog is originally a comment that I made to a review of the Equal Money System and Desteni that was shared on Quora – and you can find the entire discussion here.

First I will share the original review – and after this review I will show how this review is based upon many misunderstandings – and misconceptions – and that this have resulted from not thoroughly investigating what Desteni is really all about.

Review From Quora

This looks/sounds like a scam, and is very similar to that of Scientology (don’t sue me!).

Bernard Poolman, Desteni, and the cult’s followers have the following system:

  • Bernard Poolman, at the top of this scheme, recruits “managers” who recruit other “managers’ to the system, very similar to Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) and Scientology
  • After spending a certain amount of time and money at Desteni, you get to advance to the next level in “education and advancement”
  • In essence, there is no “equality” – all people at Desteni are trying to climb the ladder to the get more “educated” and spend more money in order to do so (similar to those in Scientology who wish to learn about the mysterious alien, Lord Xenu). It is rumored that some are paid commissions in order to recruit new members as well.
  • According to several reviews from past members I’ve read/heard about, none of the senior managers even know what the “Equal Money System” is and the phrase “Pyramid Scheme” will immediately get you banned from the organization

To me, it’s Scientology with a new twist that sounds more realistic: no aliens and thetas, instead filled with anarchistic goals of a communist planet where economic fact and reason are denied, and replaced with a system that will inevitably lead to destructive failure.

Edit: I just read on their materials and official site, aliens are indeed part of this system, and supposedly one of humanity’s greatest secrets. I stand corrected: this system is crazier than Scientology. Day 185: Are we Earthlings or Aliens? Secrets of the Human Race • Desteni – Group of people exploring Equality & Oneness principles

The reason I wrote this is because I see a lot of “Equal Money System” questions on Quora lately, likely sparked from managers within the group spamming to get Quorans thinking about falling bait.

I warn all Quora Admins to do their research on Bernard Poolman, Desteni, and this system, and be on the look out for spam. I also warn all Quorans, do not fall prey to this system – it is just another scam that preys on people who are facing rough times, those with sympathy towards equalism (though they pervert this idea), and young people.

For those wondering about Xenu (Scientology), here is what he supposedly looks like:

My Comment On The Review:

So – the first thing that can be pointed out in relation to this review is that it’s based upon assumption – and that there is no clear empirical evidence supporting any of the claims that is made by the author.

I will go through all the points mentioned in this review point by point to as such exactly how – and why – what is mentioned here is fiction and not really what Desteni is about.

Bernard Poolman, at the top of this scheme, recruits “managers” who recruit other “managers’ to the system, very similar to Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) and Scientology

Bernard Poolman is not “at the top of this scheme” – Bernard Poolman is the founder of Desteni but he’s not the chief executive of Desteni – the reason for this is that Desteni is a voluntary organisation that function by the combined efforts of all it’s members – we are a democratic and logic-based organisation wherein the suggestions, and pointers of members that are the best – will receive attention and be implemented.

Secondly – Desteni is not a scheme – we are very open about what we are – we are a open and voluntary organisation that have a very clear objective – and that is to create a world that is best for all in every way – there is nothing secret about this and everything of this is already shared on the Desteni website.

“After spending a certain amount of time and money at Desteni, you get to advance to the next level in “education and advancement”

No – Desteni is a FREE and voluntary organisation – everyone can participate as much as they like without paying anything.

Though – Desteni offer certain educational courses and these costs money – which is nothing strange – universities costs money because giving a education to someone requires that you have a teacher and the necessary educational material – the Desteni education functions by the same principles.

As you complete the courses given by Desteni you will be able to go to the next stage – obviously – there is nothing strange about this either – and the same principle is used in all schools – you must first understand the basics to go to the more advanced level.

“In essence, there is no “equality” – all people at Desteni are trying to climb the ladder to the get more “educated” and spend more money in order to do so (similar to those in Scientology who wish to learn about the mysterious alien, Lord Xenu). It is rumored that some are paid commissions in order to recruit new members as well.”

Those that participate in Desteni are not there to climb a ladder – we are walking the courses by our own free-choice – and because we are genuinly interested in understanding ourselves, and how to be able to become more effective human-beings.We spend money in order to walk the courses – but as I’ve said – this is nothing strange – you spend money to get access to services in the system all the time – and it’s ignorant to believe that you’re able to give a high-quality education without asking for money in return – it’s simply not possible.

Yes – we are paid commissions in order to recruit new members – yet – this is nothing strange either – several organizations apply the same method – and most companies that are into sales will have a similar principle wherein you get paid by the amount of sales you do. It’s simply a practical point that have been implemented in order to motivate people to bring more people to study the courses offered at Desteni – completely normal capitalistic behavior.

“According to several reviews from past members I’ve read/heard about, none of the senior managers even know what the “Equal Money System” is and the phrase “Pyramid Scheme” will immediately get you banned from the organization”

This is misinformation as it’s completely false and doesn’t have any bearing at all.

Firstly – there are no “senior mangers” at Desteni – those that participate are all equal in that they participate by their own free will – and they do so voluntarily – though you will earn respect in the organization as you’re seen to place much time and effort into walking the message that the group presents – yet this will not make you more special, and it will not give you more access into the “secrets” of Desteni – simply because there are no such secrets.

The Equal Money System is shared on the Equal Money website – and everything that is written about the system there is what is the system currently looks like – thus everyone have access to see, understand, and research the Equal Money System for themselves – it’s nothing hidden at all.

“I just read on their materials and official site, aliens are indeed part of this system, and supposedly one of humanity’s greatest secrets. I stand corrected: this system is crazier than Scientology.”

Aliens are not apart of the Equal Money System – and it’s not a part of the practical message of Desteni – which is very simple – it’s to give as you’d like to receive.

Aliens have on the other hand been interviewed through the inter-dimensional portal – and they have given their perspective on the state of humanity – and also shared themselves. This I know is hard for many to understand and comprehend – thus – I will state the following: it’s not necessary to believe in the portal in order to apply the tools of Desteni.

What is important in Desteni is the message that is shared – and this is a highly practical and measurable message – that have effects which you can see in the behavior of the being that decides to walk and live the message – thus – this is what is important; whether Aliens share this message, or some other type of manifestation – it doesn’t really matter – because in the end it all comes down to self-respect and creating self to stand as a individual of integrity in this world.

So – as you can see – there is MUCH misinformation – many misunderstandings – and lot’s of assumptions as to what Desteni is – and what the Equal Money System is – my suggestion is as such that anyone interested, or curious about what we do and represent – commit themselves to do a thorough investigation of the point and most importantly – keep an open mind because the message of Desteni is hard to understand and it will challenge you on many different levels – because a message like this haven’t ever been shared in this way before.
Lastly – Desteni is not a scam – and we are not dangerous – and we are not evil – we are simply human beings sharing a message that have actually been on this earth for several thousands of years already – the message was first shared by Jesus when he said do unto another as you’d like to be done unto you – and this is what we’re all about – really simple!

Okay – I hope this cleared up some points – visit our websites for more information:
Equal Money System
Desteni Website