Tag Archives: relationship

Day 433: Chasing Self vs. Self-Creation

I listened to this interview a couple of days ago: Chasing Self vs Self Creation – Atlanteans – Part 476 – and it was very enlightening. Especially one point opened up within me, and that is making work/career something more than just being about money.

In the interview it is among other things explained that we tend to make work/career all about money. We go to work for the money, we remain in that bubble throughout the day,  ‘working for money’ – and then – we eventually get home and feel as if we have ‘wasted’ our entire day because it has just been about money. However, it is suggested to make work something more – not only about money – but to utilize the office, the job, to grow and expand living skills, expressions, applications, to not accept and allow work to be only about survival.

I myself recently acquired my degree, and I have only been working full time now for about two years. However, I have already seen how work have weighed down upon me, become a problem, something that I am ‘forced to do’ and that my only escape are the weekends and the occasional vacation. And I see that this is a big problem for many. It is not uncommon for people to feel depressed, sad, bored, unsatisfied with their work and having to spend time in the office. Hence, changing who we are in relation to work, that will have a big effect in our lives, because working, that is something we will spend most of our time on. Hence, it makes sense that we should make work something supportive, something that assists us to grow, expand, and become MORE.

How am I then able to change my relationship to work so that it becomes a time where I can grow/expand/accumulate my process of self-creation?

What I see is that I can use my work to practice planning, structuring and to make sure that I follow through on my commitments. I can practice precision, specificity and attention to detail, by for example, making sure that I am focused and HERE in what I am doing. I can push myself to interact, to develop my social skills and learn to communicate clearly and effectively. I can develop movement, direction, leadership and decisiveness. I can practice placing myself in the shoes of others and learn to see the world their way, hence, live empathy, understanding and compassion. And I can investigate being fearless, having self-confidence and self-trust.

My work offers a multitude of opportunities – though I have to be HERE to see them. And I must make sure that it does not become about CHASING other than what is here in my life at the moment. It is never about something more, living life effectively is about creating and moving forward with what is already HERE. Thus, instead of looking forward to what is next, my main practice should be to ask myself: ‘Okay, what can I create with what is already here? How can I use the resources at my disposal to expand and live my full potential?’. And really, is chasing something more, not but an excuse to actually LIVE here fully?


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Day 393: Talking Back

In my experience, one of the more destructive patterns in a relationship is the desire/urge to TALK BACK when feeling mistreated/hurt/diminished/unjustly treated. It is a problem to talk back in such instances because I am not entirely stable – and hence my words will be smudged with energy – some of them will not make sense – and they will result in a counterattack from the opposite side. For me, it is has felt like talking back is something that happens automatically, it is something that I really cannot help, or something that I just have to do in order to make sure that I protect myself effectively. These are the justifications that I have used to accept and allow talking back – because really – talking back is a very obvious phenomenon – with clear consequences – it is easy to see when I am talking back and all that would be required is to STOP.

However, I found that even though the pattern of talking back is obvious, it is difficult to stop, and the main reason for this I have found is COMPETITION – I do not want to lose! I do not want to be the one that falls flat on the ground. The problem as such is not talking back in itself – the problem is that I am competing and believe that the words of the other person has real impact, real weight, real power over me and my value as a person, and that I have to ‘strike back’ in order to make sure that the field is equalized and that I am not fighting from a position of inferiority.

Thus – a solution in these moments when I experience an urge to talk back it to remind myself that there is NO competition – the idea that there is a competition only exists in my mind – and as such – I do not have to shape my life around this misconception. I do not have to defend and protect myself when it comes the words others use – it is most definitely an illusion that there would be such a need. And hence – instead of talking back – I can breath – ground myself in my physical – and VOICE myself. And the focus of my VOICING would be to remain stable and calm – and to stick with common sense and with what I see is best – and not for a moment accept and allow myself to fall into the quagmire of competition.

And let us say that I fall and notice that I begin to talk back –  here I still have an opportunity to stop – I still have an opportunity to ground myself – to remind myself that it is about MYSELF and that talking back is completely meaningless – because – what I am I trying to accomplish? If I now manage to win this illusory competition – will I get a price? Hardly. Will I feel better about myself? No, because there will still be a on-going conflict between me and the other person. Hence – if I want to WIN for REAL – the solution would be to stick with my stability – stick with my common sense – remain stable – and VOICE myself – standing as an example in that moment of dealing with a conflict situation in a mature way.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to protect myself in situations of conflict – to believe that I have to defend myself and push the other person away in situations of conflict – to believe that I have to use words to convince myself and the other person that I am not losing – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain stable – breathing – understanding that words cannot bring me down

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk back trying to win in a illusory competition in my mind – where I think that the words of another can diminish and dis-empower me and that I hence need to be prepared and ready to fend of any attacks and injustices with voicing myself loudly – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in fending of – that in fighting – that in trying to win and protect myself – I am entirely missing the point of finding and establishing a solution – and obviously that is where my attention should be at – what is the solution in this conflict? What is the direction ahead? How can we move forward in order to create a sustainable solution that is best for all? Those are the questions that should be asked within me – and answered in how I voice myself in that moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not place my attention and focus on SOLUTIONS – what is the SOLUTION? How can I move forward? And hence – deliberately and actively move myself away from thinking that I am in a competition and that I need to fight – to will myself to win – to defeat all competition – and to understand within this – that the solution is to make sure that I am stable and that I look at what is best for all and do not lose myself in self-interest

Self-commitment statements

When and as I am in a conflict-situation and I want to talk back, or I have already begun to talk back, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that talking back will not solve anything, talking back will not protect me, talking back will not give me anything, talking back will not produce anything of value in my life – rather – in order to have value within me and my life – I require to remain grounded and speak COMMON SENSE – speak what I see is best for all – FOCUS on solutions – and understand that words cannot harm or hurt me – and hence I COMMIT myself to VOICE myself – to share solutions of common sense – and to stick with my stability – and to STOP speaking if I notice that I am talking back – and then remove myself – and stabilize myself – and then return to the topic at a later stage – if necessary – within stability

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Day 386: HEa(LL)th and Investigating the Limitations of Defining Self According to Body Image

Body image, we give it so much value, even though it is not that important, because at the end of the day how much of our self-experience is dependent upon what we look like? Not much. In-fact, because we obsess about our body image, we miss the qualities/characteristics that are of real importance in our life’s. Skills such as communication, trustworthiness, understanding, empathy and various other types of expressions – that is what determines our life – and unless we develop those – we will not be able to experience life or ourselves to its fullest.

Lately, I have faced my body image ideas/judgments more intensely – and in particular in relation to how I have connected body image to the word health. I am in this blog going to investigate, through self-forgiveness, my relationship with body image and health – and how I have come to limit these two words by defining/seeing superficially and only as an observer.
Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define health as having a body that is fit, athletic and thin

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define health as looking good, as having a perfect body image, as looking perfect, looking nice, looking beautiful and getting positive attention because of that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define health as being accepted by others and noticed by others because of how I look like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and judge my body according to its image and define it as either healthy or unhealthy depending on the image – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose touch with my body as the physical matter that is beyond looks

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the better I look the more healthy I will become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the better I look that the happier I will be, and the better sex I will have, and the more peaceful I will be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the outcome of my life is dependent upon how I look

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the outcome of my life, my future, my process, is dependent on how I look

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the body image all important, to define myself according to body image, and to worry about body image, not seeing, realizing and understanding that body image does not determine who I am, body image does not determine whether I am healthy or not, and I cannot, by merely looking at myself in a mirror, establish a relationship with my human physical body – and hence I see, realize and understand that, that solution is in embracing the physical – my human physical body – without reference to the image – to breathe and ground myself into the very cells, into each and every breath, into my muscles, into my bones, and to feel my body – and to discipline myself to only relate to my body through this depth of connection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand, get to know, become intimate with my human physical body, through connecting with my body in the depths of its existence – through connecting with my body in each and every breath – where I breathe in and feel all of my body as how it really feels like beyond image, looks, and judgments – and thus I commit myself to BREATHE – I commit myself to each time I want to relate to my body through judgment – to take a deep breath and instead move myself inwards – move myself into my body – into the flesh of my physical body – and see, realize and understand that this is where the solution lies – that is where I can establish a real, sustainable and deep relationship with my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the beliefs of my parents and friends, thinking that I can determine the nature and condition of my body by merely looking at it, not seeing, realizing and understanding that as with all things, in order to understand them, I have to immerse myself, I have to get my hands dirty, I have to move inwards and look at the point from within as how it really exists, one and equal – and thus I commit myself to through effective BREATHING, through progressive muscle relaxation, and through reading up on and studying the functions of the physical body – practice and build a relationship with my human physical that goes beyond image and looks and that is deep, fulfilling – and based on UNDERSTANDING

 


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Day 379: Investigating Glee

In Sweden there is this saying, ‘glee is the only the real form of happiness that there is’. For me, this statement has held some truth, because for some reason, I have had a tendency of enjoying the displeasure/harm/discomfort of others a lot – sometimes a lot more than other forms of humor. I have not seen this as a problem, because I have felt as if the laughter coming from within and as glee has been unconditional and innocent – something I cannot really help – it just happens. However in looking deeper at this point, I have come to see that this laughter is only a veneer that covers deeper and at times more malicious intentions.

In looking at the general context in which I experience glee, I have been able to locate a couple of recurring elements. Firstly, the person at which the glee is directed (the trigger person/point) is showing something that I perceive to be a emotional or physical weakness, secondly I feel empowered/superior to the ‘trigger person’ because of this weakness. When these two elements come together at the same time I experience a intoxicating and bubbly feeling, that emerge from my chest, and that come through as laughter. The sound of the laughter is monotonous and more high pitched than my normal natural laughter.

Because the glee has come through physically as laughter I have justified its existence thinking that I cannot help myself, it is a natural expression, part of who I am, and I cannot do anything to change it. However, I am able to see that it is not innocent. It is a form of separation, where I am not emphatic with the person that triggers the glee. I do not see what he or she is going by standing in their shoes, I rather see the situation as entertainment and as something that empowers me. And obviously, when someone is having a difficult moment, this does not make me more than in anyway what-so-ever – and neither is the situation/moment entertaining.

The solution that I can see is to be emphatic and push myself to see the situation through standing in the shoes of the receiving person (‘trigger person/point’) – hence see it through their eyes and not my own – to allow myself to experience what they are going through and not watch it from a starting point of separation.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience, go into, and express glee when people in my life show what I perceive to be emotional or physical weaknesses

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relate to others and their difficulties from a starting point of oneness and equality – but to see myself as separate – and see their plight as entertainment – instead of standing one and equal and seeing the situation by standing in their shoes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand in the shoes of another and experience life from their perspective – to thus stop viewing life as separate from me, to view people as separate from me, to view the system as separate from me, and apparently there for my entertainment and my pleasure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become gleeful when things go badly for others instead of seeing the consequence as them – seeing the situation as them – and within this seeing their pain as my own – and relate to the situation from such a starting point of oneness and equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become gleeful instead of being emphatic and seeing the situation as a part of myself and not as something separate that is here to entertain me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the misfortunes of others as entertainment – instead of standing as empathy and relating to the people – seeing them as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empowered and superior when and as I perceive that another is showing emotional, physical or feeling weaknesses

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh, enjoy myself, and amuse myself at the expense of another, when and as I perceive myself to be more powerful than another, due to a perceived emotional or physical weakness in another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself justify laughing and amusing myself within and as glee thinking that laughter and amusement is always innocent, is always trustworthy, and it is something that I can always do without harming or influencing another negatively – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question myself, to question all of my experiences, all of what I am, seeing, realizing and understanding that I will only ever know what is real, if I question and then see the very origin of the point within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify laughing and amusing myself at the expense of another thinking that it is innocent and without a ulterior motive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify glee thinking that it is innocent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow glee in my life, as a normal part of my life, because in my family, glee was a normal part of life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot use my family as a benchmark for what is acceptable and what is not acceptable – because my family has not proven themselves in writing – showing that their nature stands within and as the principle of what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop glee within me when it arise and instead apply empathy – to see the pain, discomfort of another as one and equal and not as a separate point of amusement or entertainment – but as a part of myself – and thus approach from within the context of looking at how I am able to ameliorate and move this pain into a solution

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming gleeful, as I am faced with a trigger point, such as a person that is exposing something that I perceive to be a emotional or physical weakness, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand – that gleefulness is not supportive – it me using the pain and discomfort of others as entertainment and to feel empowered – obviously that is not a supportive solution and it does not change a thing for the person experiencing the discomfort – and hence – I commit myself to change this point to instead stand as empathy – to see the point of perceived weakness as my own – to not separate myself from it – and then move myself to find solutions to direct this weakness into and as a strength – and move the moment to become a moment building towards a world that is best for all


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Day 332: Facing The Dark With A Smile

Relationships, often portrayed with positive words such as love, appreciate, protect, secure, adore, etc., however, the truth of a relationship is something different. In Sweden, my country of birth, the divorce rate is at 50-55 % in relation to the amount of people getting married, and the median marriage lasts for 10 years. From those numbers it is not a big leap to say that the portrayed image of relationships is not wholly accurate. And expressed coarsely, the image broadcasted of relationships is outright deceptive. Without a doubt, the major part of any relationship consists of conflicts, misunderstandings, compromises, emotions, competition, and all other forms of dysfunctional human behavior that we all inherit and learn as we come of age. That is not strange considering that we always bring our baggage as we enter into a new relationship, it is thus, impossible to create a lovely and peaceful paradise on this earth – UNLESS – we have created OURSELVES as that in our individual capacity.

There is though ways to deal with the ‘human element’ that we unfortunately bring with us as we enter into a new relationship. In this blog I am going discuss one important tool to use in the creation of a comfortable and supportive relationship – HUMOR – or – the ability to be CAREFREE in the face of adversity. This point opened recently for me as I have noticed a tendency that I have to take things very seriously. For example, I will have a discussion with my partner that then becomes more of a intense disagreement, where emotions arise within me. Instead of looking at the reason for the conflict, and why I reacted, and how to solve it, so that I do not need to walk through the same conflict situation again – what I have done is that I have focused on the idea that it is WRONG to have conflicts/arguments. And instead of expanding myself, approaching conflicts from this judgmental vantage point results in suppression of what is really going on within me.

Suppression is and has been the modus operandi of us human beings when it comes to dealing with difficult shit since ages back, and it is so clearly visible in our society. What is prison, punishment, and social exclusion but a suppression mechanism, where we remove the ‘bad’ and ‘unwanted’ dimensions of our communal experience and put it away, far away and hidden from our immediate sight, instead of looking at WHY, and HOW it happened, and what SOLUTION there is to deal with the problem once and for all? The technique of suppression is also readily applied in parenting. When children cry, or behave ‘badly’, we look at ways to suppress the behavior, either through rewards, such as praising, or sweets, or through punishments, and consequences, though seldom, we look at the cause and origin of the troublesome behavior – and hence we miss out on the opportunity to create a sustainable and long-term solution.

The question to ask ourselves is thus, WHY do we have such a difficult time in looking at the DARK, MALEFICENT, HORRIBLE, and UNWANTED within ourselves, our relationships, and society? From what I have already touched upon above, one of the reasons for this is because we JUDGE it, we are too uptight about it, we take it personally, react to it, believe it is something bad, and that we must just, immediately, without further consideration, put it away – far away.

Hence, getting back to relationships, what is then the solution for this way of looking at the dark within ourselves? How can we assist and support ourselves to ease up and be less serious about the shit that is going on both within and without? The way forward as I see it is HUMOR – because it has the property of taking the edge of things, to make things seem silly, and remove that big, heavy reaction of something being sooo BAD. And here, I am not saying that humor should be the end point, because obviously, we have to learn from our mistakes, reflect and look at them, in order to move forward – however – if we look at our mistakes in a state of reaction – our focus will become misplaced. Instead of unconditionally looking at ways to improve, our focal point will be on determining how bad we have been, and how we must now punish ourselves, to apparently through that, motivate ourselves to not be bad again. Though, it is not important to determine how bad, and wrong we have been, that which is of real substantial value is to find a lasting, sustainable solution for the future, so that we are able to prevent further consequences.

HUMOR sounds like YOU-MORE – because through humor we are able to get back to that CAREFREE state of looking at things unconditionally – and thus we are able to SEE more of ourselves – see the reality of things – because humor disarms, it cuts through the defenses, and it allows us to get a glimpse of what is actually going on, which then puts us in a position to implement changes.

Hence, conflicts, disagreements, and in general, shit that happens in a relationship, a way to disarm the seriousness of it all is through HUMOR – through seeing the stupid shit that we do and that it is many times totally insane – how can we fight and argue about such pointless things and believe that it is absolutely a matter of life and death to get our version of the story heard? It is insane, and that is what makes it so HILARIOUS. Humor, hence, is an important tool in the creation of a effective relationship with our partner, and ourselves.

And how to then practically apply humor in a moment? Well, let us say that we are in a situation where I am having a disagreement with my partner about whether or whether not to tidy up after myself when I have used the kitchen, where I will then go to great lengths to explain, and win my partner over, to my way of dealing with the kitchen, where apparently my way of doing things is of great practical value. Instead, I could in that moment see how ridiculous it is that I am standing here, talking about such a absolutely insignificant thing as to how to clean the kitchen, defending my way of doing things with all I got, when it really has no value or importance to me at all.

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Day 304: Scripting Care

When we enter into a relationships, most of us foolishly believes that our partner understands us and that we put the same meaning and value into the words we speak and behaviors we embody. This is however not the case. Even if we are similar to our partner, we must consider that we have grown up in different families, been exposed to different life circumstances, participated in different thoughts, and built our inner coping mechanisms in a variety of different ways. As such, when we look at the details of two individuals, regardless of how much in love they might feel, they are very different.

This is in itself not a problem, unless we assume that our words mean the same as our partners words, and we furthermore take for granted that no work or effort must be invested into establishing an equality and mutual understanding when it comes to words and their meanings. Recently I have faced some conflicts in my agreement due to how I have had one definition/application/understanding of the word CARE and how my partner had another. The fascinating thing about this conflict is that we simply could not understand one another. While I acted/lived in one way, and thought of this as normal, my partner would interpret and see this behavior a completely different way – and the reason? We had not created an equal understanding/application/definition of the word care.

Now, in looking at the word care I realized a peculiar thing. I have not ever had care expressed/lived in my world the way in which my partner has. For me, the word CARE did not imply, for example, hugging, being concerned, being affectionate with physical touching, and I interestingly enough had NO reference at all to this word and HOW to live it in the physical – I felt like a blank slate. And this is important to realize with physical living – we are only that which we have programmed/designed ourselves to be. If we have not consciously made an effort to develop ourselves as a certain word, and we have not been exposed to that word during our developmental years, we will most likely NOT be able to live/understand/express that word effectively in thought, word and deed. This is why parents hold such an important responsibility to effectively develop and expand themselves in their application and living of words, as they will transfer these skills/abilities to their children. And this does not happen consciously – it happens on a quantum level – immediately – as children are like sponges – sucking up all the information in their environment and then form their own personality designs using this information.

As such, because I had not been exposed to the word care, because my parents had not effectively developed the expression of CARE to its full potential, I could not understand what my partner was telling me, when she asked me to become more caring. Words are powerful tools, and when developed, expanded and refined, they are the building blocks of a successful human being – and this goes with all areas of life. From relationships to career – it is all a matter of the words we live and understand.

Because I was a blank slate with regards to the word CARE – I have now pushed myself to redefine, live and expand my application in relation to this word. And here, the process of creation is similar to that of acting. In order to change my living behavior, I require a SCRIPT – and this SCRIPT must be designed to be initiated through certain CUES – thus giving myself CLUES as to WHEN it is effective and supportive to apply/live/express myself as the word care. For example, when I can see that my partner is stressed/anxious/worried – this is a CUE to instigate the SCRIPT of CARE – where I for example – decide to sit down and communicate with my partner to hear her out – or where I go and hug my partner to offer my physical presence as a point of stability. Hence, to create myself as a new word, I require to DEFINE for myself what that word is, how it is applied, and lived IN THE PHYSICAL – this becomes my SCRIPT – that I then put into creation when and as I see that it will lead to a supportive outcome that is best for all. And this is the fascinating, and empowering process of self-creation using words. And when partners do this together, the relationship will flourish, expand and become fulfilling.

For anyone wanting to create their lives and themselves to be the best I suggest investigating the process of redefining words – it is a essential life skill to learn in order to build sustainable, effective, and stable life structures. Check out the School of Ultimate Living for courses on redefining words.

Some suggested reads:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-116-re-defining-words-to-living.html

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/day-5-in-beginning-was-god.html

Day 293: Being Social and Outgoing

Being social and outgoing, for some that might be easy, for others, me included, it is difficult and oftentimes something connected with resistance and insecurity. For me, I have felt comfortable standing more in the background when it comes to social interactions, and especially in group contexts. My preference have been, and still is, to interact with, and get to know people on a one on one basis and move forward in a slow tempo. However, in this world, that type of interaction is many times not possible, and in the professional world, we are many times expected to be outgoing, social, look happy, and pleasant. And unfortunately, we tend to judge on the basis of first impression, and then create our relationship with each other on the basis of that, instead of getting to know the other individual on a more deep, and intimate level, which always takes time.

So, in the professional world, and generally speaking, creating relationships in the world system demands that we develop and utilize the skill of creating a positive first impression. Not that much is required for a successful first impression, it is usually just being dressed properly, smiling, asking how the other person is doing. Though for me, this has been hard, because I feel like a sell out – because inside of me I am not really feeling/living that happiness/smile – or that real interest when I am asking how the other person is doing – it is currently an act made from a starting point of survival.

Now, I do see that there is a potential to change this interaction with other people, from being survival driven, to instead be self-driven – where the starting point is not ‘making a good impression’ – but rather sharing myself with another person in a moment – hence – giving of myself to another person in a moment through my words, my actions, and my behavior – showing to them that I am there with them in that moment and that I am meeting them – seeing them in that moment – recognizing them and allowing them into my world.

Thus, what must change within me is WHO I AM when approaching another person, and instead of being self-conscious, and worried about how the other person sees me, to instead be open, and comfortable, and sharing myself with the other person, giving that person a moment of my time where my presence and awareness is fully HERE – where they can feel that I am present – I am here – and that I am meeting them.

Why? Because that is how I would like another to meet me. I would like them to see me, and recognize me as an equal, and that they would take some time to get to know me, to ask me some questions, and open up a line of communication. There are very few people that are able to do this, and those few that are, I am immediately able to notice it in how I relax with them, and naturally open up in my expression – because I can see that they accept me and allow me to come into their world for a moment and take up their attention.

There is a potential to create these unconditional moments of meeting other people everyday in the world system. It is all a matter of how we define the relationship. If we label it as only being a professional relationship, then that is all it will ever be. If we however are open and unconditional, and we give of ourselves, maybe that relationship will develop in another direction. I have been able to see this for myself, where I have initially created a label for a relationship such as being professional, and then, as I have communicated more with the person, the relationship have changed, opened up, and become a lot more deep and intimate.

It is really cool what can develop if we are open, and if we give of ourselves through being present, here, aware, and make an effort to get to know others, communicate, see others, and recognize them for their skills, and unique potential. Though, it does not come by itself, as I mentioned, it requires effort and a push – especially if we have a tendency to withdraw – then there must be a daily pushing outwards until that point of unconditional giving in social situations is established.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change socialization, meeting new people, interacting, and speaking into a self-expression – a moment where I give of myself to another unconditionally – where I am present and aware as I for a moment meet another – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to corrupt this meeting of another human being into being only about survival, about fitting in, about being accepted – instead of seeing it as a moment of connecting with another universe and the opportunities such a connection can provide

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that every meeting with a new human being – is an opportunity to expand myself – and an opportunity for me to get to know someone else – to get a new and fresh look on life as I look on life through the eyes of someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that in order to change my relationship with meeting new people, I will have to push through my comfort zones, and I will have to push the point of being HERE and OPEN and PARTICIPATE in the moment – pushing myself to be a part of the moment instead of withdrawing into myself and holding myself back in my zone of comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that meeting another, and creating relationships is an opportunity for me to expand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see relationships and meeting new people as a nuisance and as something that I do not particularly enjoy to do – yet something that I must force myself to do so that I am able to fit in – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change this to instead being ME – GIVING of myself – GIVING of myself as my self-expression – as my unique way of interacting with and looking at the world – and that I am as such able to assist and support others to expand equally as they are assisting and supporting me to expand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people based on first impression, to judge them on the basis of memories, and ideas of how people should behave, and to judge them on the basis of how I feel about them, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this judgment is not real – that it is an experience and not an actual knowing of the other person – and thus I commit myself to make the effort to get to know people for real through communicating with them – through being present and aware with them – through being HERE and not in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know someone when I have an experience about that person – and when I have seen how that person interacts in one situation and in one moment – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot know someone, and judge someone on the basis of one moment – and that people are much more than only one character in one moment, and that I can get to see this when I make the effort to get to know people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not show myself, and open myself up to people when I am interacting with them – to stand in my physical body in such a way that I am HERE and that I do not accept and allow myself to withdraw myself and go into a state of hiding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself out into the physical – through my body language – through my voice – through how I am standing and interacting here in this moment – to push myself outwards into this physical reality and stand

Self-commitments

When and as I see myself going into a state of hiding, through the way I place my body, with my shoulders slouching, looking downwards, and wanting to escape into myself, I stop, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is not a solution – and in order to get to know my reality, to get to know people, to expand – I must face it – be part of it – stand and move in it – and that is done through coming out of my body – out from hiding – and standing in the middle of it all facing life – and thus I commit myself to push myself to stand in my chest area – and push myself out into physical reality through my voice, my body language, and my presence

I commit myself to make the effort to get to know others through communication, interaction and participation – and I commit myself to create the comfort zone with others – where I can be myself – through consistently pushing myself to communicate and break the ice – break the isolation and the fear – and establish that real comfort zone – where I am comfortable in being with another and being myself – because I have created that comfort in my relationship with another person through communication and interaction

I commit myself to push through resistance and awkwardness that might come up as I make an effort to communicate, participate and interact – and I commit myself to see, realize and understand that it is a matter of practice

I commit myself to present, aware and here – and make the focus of a moment with another – that I GIVE myself unconditionally – that I SHARE myself unconditionally – and do not accept and allow myself to remain withdrawn and hidden far back inside of myself