Having a career can be pretty stressful. To me – the stress is primarily related to three aspects. One aspect is performance anxiety or in other words – the fear of making mistakes. The second aspect is the fear of not being successful. The third aspect is the responsibility that a position of influence/power entails. In my line of work – If or a moment take responsibility for important parts of someone else’s life – and hence – I can cause major consequences if I am not thorough and specific.
All three of these aspects are part of the anxiety I at times experience towards my work. And the fact is that I enjoy my work a lot – it fits my character and skill set perfectly. Thus – when I am able to let go of tensions and get into my happy-place – work is fun, challenging, stimulating and interesting. However – when I get caught in the mentioned fears – work becomes a weight on my shoulders. It is fascinating to see just how much perspective and my emotional participation in relation to a point in my world changes the way I experience that point. It is literally like two different worlds – even though it is the same kind of work.
My conclusion is that I have to let go of these three fears. And in this blog my aim is to design corrective solutions to each of these fears.
Fear of making mistakes
Finding a corrective statement to the fear of making mistakes is pretty easy to me. I already clearly see that unless you dare to make mistakes – you will not progress. Mistakes, failures, mishaps, difficulties, problems, that is fertile soil for growth, development, expansion and movement. If everything is just perfect all the time – we are either not sufficiently critical or – we do not challenge ourselves enough. Both are pretty bad. Thus – a healthy portion of mistakes is an indication that we are in a challenging position and that we have an opportunity to improve. Obviously though – making the same mistake 2-3 times might indicate something different – such as arrogance for example.
Thus – when I become anxious and worried that I am making, or I have made a mistake, I instead change into looking at how I am able to improve and expand. I look at what I can learn and become better at – and allow myself to be grateful that I have seen that there is something I have to practice and expand upon. And I dare myself to go for it – and understand that mistakes is a natural part of growth – and that what matters is that I learn from my mistakes and correct myself.
Fear of not being successful
The fear of not being successful is interesting. It is like the fear in itself hinders success – because what will that fear create? It will hesitation, doubt, worry, insecurity – characteristics that does not induce success. To be successful – I have to be bold. I move when see that there is an opportunity and do not hold myself back – and if failure strikes – no need to become emotional – I simply re-aim and yet again focus on what I want and where I want to get to.
Success requires me to be determined, patient and motivated – and I have to keep my focus on what I want to achieve. Each and every fear energy that comes up within me will only cause me to shift my attention and focus from what I want – to a pretty worthless experience that I simply do not need. And if I do not manage to reach success – well there is nothing to do about it. In all cases – I would not have achieved success if I was afraid of not achieving it. Hence – my corrective statement will be to go forward boldly – to move, act, walk, and direct – to grab the opportunities and keep the momentum – and keep in my vision the future I want to create.
Fear of responsibility
The fear of responsibility is an interesting one – because it is not necessarily the responsibility that I fear – it is rather what happens if I do not handle the responsibility in such a way that everyone involved are pleased. Thus – it is the fear of being the target of criticism later on. And not because I fear criticism from others – it is because I tend to judge myself harshly when I do not meet my own standards. Hence the real face of the fear is that of fearing my own judgment.
However – what I can see is that responsibility is a skill – it is something that I will learn, become more comfortable within, and get better at doing as I practice – and as is the case with so many other things – I will naturally fail sometimes as it is a part of the expansion. And it does not help anyone that I judge myself when I fail. I need to be able to stand and look at my mistakes objectively, learn from it and enhance my ability to take responsibility for the life’s of others – just as I must learn to expand this responsibility towards my own life.
Thus – what I will state to myself when this fear arises is that I am going to push myself to take responsibility – and I am going to learn from my mistakes and failures and expand. And I will stand and practice to stand as this responsibility naturally and comfortably – and understand that this is simply me extending my responsibility unto others. Hence – it is nothing to fear – nothing to judge – it is a learning process.
Fears are interesting – they always indicate a misalignment – a point where I have not sufficiently created and directed myself. Hence – fears are show us opportunities for expansion – where we exist in a state of being diminished and where we are able to go beyond our beliefs. It is problematic when we fear our fears – however easy to understand. Fear is an uncomfortable experience – and easily convinces us that something is TERRIBLY wrong. Though – if we would slow down, take a breath, and study the nature of the fear – there are definitely many gifts to be found.
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