Tag Archives: rule

Day 6: Leave Me Be – I Am Depressed!

A character that I took note of yesterday was the depression-character – and this is a character that I’ve noticed I am holding unto even though I can clearly seen when it is that I go into this character, or way of being.

depression2I have seen that when I go into the depression character – I become less communicative, I become passive, held back, and I generally feel like everything is a drag – something that I am forced to participate within even though I don’t really want to. What I’ve seen is that I will have within me an awareness that “oh – how quiet I suddenly became, and how strict, and tense I became in my participation – there must be something going on here!” – yet my self-honesty stops there – because there problem is that I am not in that moment saying to myself – “ok – shit – now I’ve gone into the depression character – let’s move myself out of this crap!” – and the physically moving myself out of the state of being through deliberately pushing myself to be physical in the moment – which might include communicating with people, or if I am by myself in my apartment – leaving my apartment to take a walk – or apply self-forgiveness on the point.

The consequences of me existing in this character is something is that not only me – but my entire environment become affected – if I am around people I am able to see this the most clearly. People around me become more silent, introverted, and seemingly fearful of communicating and interacting with me – which is probably because I look pretty down so to speak – and as if I am at the verge of a breakdown, ready to attack any poor soul that dare to disturb me in my moment of grief.

I can also see how this character affects me personally – the consequence of me participating in this character is that I miss out on a lot of opportunities to have fun – to interact and express myself – and I instead up feeling that “everyone else but me is having fun!” – “what about me!” – when it’s really myself that have placed me into the experience of the depression – and it’s me that have decided that apparently I am not capable of moving myself out of the character as I see that I become possessed within it.

The point to apply self-forgiveness upon is thus justifying holding unto the depression character, and also justifying not taking action when it is that I see I enter a specific character – and also clearly see the solution in the moment.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the depression character – and within me seeing that I am going into the depression character – justify why I should remain in the depression character – through thinking that I am not able to change the depression I experience into and as self-expression here – and that this depression character is apparently something that is superior to me that I am not able to do anything about – or change – or direct in anyway what-so-ever – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am able to change my experience of myself as the depression character – and I in-fact see the solution – which is physical self-movement in the moment

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of justifications when I enter the depression character – instead of going into immediate self-application – in changing the character immediately as I see I become this character in my physical living – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how simple it is to change a character in the moment – and that all it takes is a clear decision – and then living that decision into and as the physical – and as such pushing change – bringing forth change through a directive statement of who I am in the moment – and I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that – sure – this takes somewhat more effort than remaining in the character – yet within me pushing myself out from the state of depression – I am in-fact opening up the possibility for myself to enjoy myself and have – which is much better than being stuck in a character – and in always worth the effort

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to endorse the characters coming up within me – and hold unto the characters – thinking that the characters are a part of me – and if I was to let them go – and change them – then this would mean that I also disappear – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand – that this is merely a justification that I use in order to not have to go through the effort of actually changing myself in a moment – when it is that I see a transcendence point is emerging and coming into my awareness here – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself through the resistance – and see that there is absolutely nothing to fear in letting go of characters – and that what I experience is merely some birth pains that will subside when I am done with the birthing process

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice, and perfect the skill of immediate self-change – wherein I accept and allow myself to in the moment that I notice I go into a particular character – to immediately formulate a directive statement within me as to who I am – and how I am going to live in that moment – and what will be my expression in that moment – and as such immediately change myself from existing as a limited energy junky – as a character – into living within oneness and equality with my human physical body here

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel, think and believe that characters are superior to me – and utilize this feeling, these thoughts, and these beliefs – in order to create an experience within me that I am really inferior to the characters coming up within me as conglomerations of thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures, memories, and other mind components – not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am really in-fact – deliberately – inducing this state of feeling and experiencing myself as less than within myself – so that I can have something to blame – so that I do not have to change myself in-fact

6. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize energy, and experiences to make myself inferior to the thoughts coming up within me mind – and to the physical characters that activate as I move through my day – and believe that this experience of inferiority is real – is relevant – and that is a point that I should honor within and as my participation and movement of myself within and as this world – not seeing, realizing and understanding that this experience of inferiority is in-fact a lie – a lie that I use in order to keep myself stuck in my mind – in fear of coming out into the physical and really living – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not get out in the physical to really live – to see that there is nothing to fear about letting go of the mind – I mean – sure it’s a new experience to live here with the physical – but it is in itself absolutely nothing to fear – it’s merely a new experience – and a new way of living – as such something that could be fun – and enjoyable to investigate if I simply accepted and allow myself to live that enjoyment

7. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be strict, and disciplined with myself – in terms of pushing myself to participate here within and as breath – and to utilize each moment as a opportunity for change – and not use a moment as a opportunity to remain stuck in cycles of past moments – as points that I’ve made to be memories within me – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that – it’s simply a point to practice – to change myself here immediately – and to see each moment as a opportunity for change – and that it’s not something to fear – not something to live up to – and to something to resist – it’s merely a point of change that is lived here – one decision – and then it’s done

8. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the resistance I experience towards changing myself – is in-fact fear – fear of becoming real – fear of being real in this world – and reality – and fear of getting out of my mind to face in real time the shit that I’ve accepted and allowed to exist here – and to really see – understand – the mess that I’ve placed myself into – and the severity of the situation – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that really – it’s nothing to fear – because whether I avoid seeing what is here or not – the shit is still here – thus – it’s for more effective to simply decide to get out of my mind – to then apply that point – get out of my mind – and get back here – and start walking through the shit that I’ve manifested and created in this world – and then be done with it – instead of hiding in resistance – and fear – which really does nothing at all but postpone the inevitable of facing the consequences that I’ve accumulated here

Self-commitments

1. When and as I see that I am justifying why I should remain in the depression character – through thinking that I am not able to change the depression I experience into and as self-expression – here – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – this is me lying to myself so I won’t have to change – which is really stupid – because changing myself is far more better than remaining as a mind – secluded and limited to only exist within and as energy constructs of the mind; as such I commit myself to stop justifying not changing myself – and immediately commence to take action – through physical self-movement here – doing what is I see is required to get me back here

2. When and as I see that I do not go into immediate self-application as I notice that I go into the depression character – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – hey – this depression character really isn’t fun to exist, and live as – really – it sucks, it’s boring, it’s uncomfortable – and I already know exactly where the road ends – as such I commit myself to act – and push myself to live immediate self-correction as I see that I go into a point that is compromising for myself or another

3. When and as I see that I am using fear – as the fear of loosing myself – to hold unto characters of the mind and justify why I do not change myself; I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – sure it will take effort to change myself – but it’s gotdamn worth it! I mean – I’ve already proven this to myself countless of times in regards to the points of my living that I’ve already changed; as such I commit myself to stop postponing change through going into fear – and then only when I’ve seen that the fear is not real – to then change – but to immediately go to change without first going through the entire and unnecessary experience of justifying myself existing as the character

4. I commit myself to practice, and perfect the skill of immediate self-change – as the point of when I see that I go into a character – to immediately in that moment make a directive statement of who I will accept and allow myself to be – and then live that physically – practically – here – as such short-circuiting my process – not having to go through an entire process of going into the character – seeing that I have subdued to the character – and then justifying me remaining in the character – and first then – considering changing and moving myself out of the character

5. When and as I see that I am thinking, and feeling that the mind-characters that comes up within me – are superior and better than me – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that the characters coming up within me are not superior or better than me – in-fact this experience that I am having is merely an attempt from me to not have to change myself – because apparently it is to much work – and it takes to much effort – not realizing that this takes the same amount of effort for me to justify me remaining limited – and fighting me changing myself; as such I commit myself to simply change when I see that the moment of change has opened up and is here – and let myself walk the change without sabotaging for myself through creating all of these insane and unnecessary experiences

6. When and as I see, and notice that I am believing that the experience of inferiority coming up within me towards the thoughts coming up within me, and the characters that activate through-out my day – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – I am not inferior to the mind and the points coming up within me – this is only a convenient truth that I’ve created for myself – convenient because it implies that I am not able to change myself – and that I have not responsibility in terms of what is going on within my mind; as such I commit myself to see the real truth – which is that I accept and allow what goes on within me – and that at the end of the day – I stand responsible for each point that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as through-out my day – I can’t blame the mind – and I can’t blame anyone else – because it’s only me that is existing within me

7. I commit myself to be strict and disciplined with myself in terms of utilizing each moment of breath as a opportunity to change – as opportunity to stabilize myself and to take a breath and be here with and my human physical body – and equalize, and amalgamate myself with the physical – and not go into the mind

8. When and as I see, and notice that I experience fear/resistance towards changing myself – and directing myself – stopping my habitual participation in the mind and getting back into the physical reality – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath – and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – really – there is nothing to fear about becoming real – and seeing for real what is going on here – and taking responsibility for what is existent in myself and in this reality as a whole – in-fact it’s much worse to wait – and pretend to be a slave to my mind – and exist in a state of postponement – because that implies suffering – while changing implies – suffering yet going towards a brighter tomorrow; as such I commit myself to dare myself to change myself – and to dare to be self-honest – and face the music that is here – and go into the darkest and deepest pits of the mind – and unravel the shit – and re-create myself into a living being of integrity that stands for a world that is best for all

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The Justice of Money

 Problem

The law is often portrayed in the symbolism of a woman that is holding a scale in one hand, a sword in the other, and her eyes is covered with a cloth – this symbol is commonly referred to as Lady Justice. The meaning of this symbol – that by the way represents the legal system – is that justice is blind – which would then imply that the law does not place any sort of value unto the person that uses the law to make themselves heard – this person can be of any cultural heritage, rich or poor – this would not matter because apparently the law treats everyone the same.

This idea sounds cool – because I mean – if everyone could use the law in order to make themselves heard – and the law would treat everyone equally – this would mean that people that do not really have any financial muscle could stand up and challenge organizations, corporations, rich people, or governments – when these people find themselves in a weak spot wherein they are abused and not considered as an equally valuable part of society.

But is this how it works? Does the Law treat everyone Equally?

Obviously – the answer is NO – and as such the symbolism of lady Justice is a complete and utter lie – because the law is not about equality – it’s about financial muscle – and it’s about the game of money wherein money is king – and money will buy you the result that you desire.

Consider the following – you’re a poor farmer – and you’ve bought a shit-load of seeds from a big supplier (a big corporation with lot’s of money) – as you plant these you notice that – fuck! – these seeds doesn’t seem to grow at all!

Naturally you as a farmer that is dependent upon your seeds growing up to become vegetables – become quite upset as you see what is unfolding (or rather not unfolding) before your eyes and you accordingly decide to – “sue those fuckers!” – now here the question comes into play – would you as this farmer actually be able to win such a law-suit – and what would be required for you to win a law-suit?

Well – obviously – because you as the farmer are a farmer – and have accordingly spent the majority of your life farming – consequentially you know and care – “nothing about the got-damn laws, and lawyers!” – which in turn means that you must invest in a Lawyer that knows the law – that knows how the justice-system functions – in order for you to have any form of success in a legal process – and this obviously costs – a shit-load of money.

Already at this stage you as a farmer is at a rather precarious position in relation to the corporation – because as you take a big loan to be able to afford a lawyer – the corporation use it’s money that have been specifically put aside to covering the costs of eventual legal processes – in order to hire 15 lawyers – obviously lawyers that are the absolutely best and that are able to persuade even the most resistant and stern judge that a murder should be more seen and defined like a quite upsetting insult.

So – what can be clearly seen in this example is that – the justice-system is NOT equal – the justice-system does not in-fact promote JUSTICE – it promotes what money dictates that it should promote.

In the case of you as the farmer – as you now see this massive array of lawyers amass on your opponents side – suddenly – the chances of your success might feel more distant – and maybe you will at this point begin to think about the consequences of an eventual loss wherein in the court would judge in your disfavor – because this would mean that you would have pay for ALL THOSE superbly expensive lawyers that you’re opponent as the corporation have decided to hire.

So – here we can really question whether there really is any form of chance for you as this farmer to actually be able to win a lawsuit against a big corporation?

And also within this – we should ask ourselves the question – is this how we want our legal system to function? Do we want justice in this world to be measured and defined by the amount of money that you’re able to amass?

Obviously – this is not what we want to have – not any SANE human-being want justice and morality to be in the hands of money – as that is simply psychopathic – because justice and morality are and should be expressions of honoring life – as what is best for all – in actually looking at what is FAIR – what is CORRECT – and what is BEST – and then from there making a decision – which is NOT possible in our current and money-based legal-system – because money isn’t FAIR – money is simply money and those that have it are not fair but simply want to have more of it at any cost.

Solution

What is then the solution? How are we able to give everyone a voice to be heard – so that the farmer is able to grow his crops – and he’s able to do his thing – and make money and take care of his family?

Obviously – we require to change how money is allocated in this world – and we have to make sure that no one person or organization has money to control basic necessities – and human rights – because food, water, and a home – that is HUMAN RIGHTS and should be given to everyone – unconditionally.

As such – the solution doesn’t lie in re-creating our justice-system – but the solution lie in re-creating our money system – in making sure that money is given to all equally – and that when disputes arise between human-beings in terms of how to share the resources that are here on earth – that this is sorted out through a democratic process – that is ruled not by considerations of money – but by considerations of what is BEST FOR ALL.

Reward

What would the reward be? Well – no more would anyone have to fear that their very life and existence would be uprooted and turned around – and within this that they wouldn’t have any form of chance or capability to change the turn of events – and instead each one would feel, and experience themselves safe – in knowing that – there is really JUSTICE – FAIRNESS and MORALITY in this world – and that I will not be able to become a victim to a money-driven legal system – and used as a dirty old rag – and thrown away after all my money has been sucked out of me – I would really and in-fact be protected – and I would know that regardless of what happens to me – I will be cared for and treated as an equal.