Tag Archives: rush

Day 453: Missing What Is Here

When I look back at what I regret, one point that stands out is not allowing myself to be comfortable and enjoy the life that I have. I have tended to feel stressed, hurried, and driven to move forward, fast, towards the new and unexplored, and that has left me with a sense of having left behind possibilities that I could have explored, if I had not been so stressed about moving forward.

And that is one of my greatest challenges at the moment, to let myself rest with my current situation. To allow myself to be here, to explore my current life, the relationships in it, the hobbies, and interests I have, the moments that arise during my day, and not be in such a hurry to move along. And my greatest teacher is my daughter. She is amazing at remaining in the present. She has no conception of time, to her, the only time that matters is here and now – and that is what I want to create for and as myself. The complete amalgamation with the current moment.

What stands in my why is this undercurrent of stress and anxiety – the belief that I must somehow speed myself and my life up to be able to attain and reach the possibilities – while the opposite is really true – I need to slow myself down – put myself to rest – in order to see what I can create in this moment. Creativity is really only possible in this moment here – because creativity needs spontaneity, it needs connection to be expressed, otherwise it becomes a reasoned, rational and logic plan – but not a moment of expression.

Thus how to live this more in my life?

Breathing and grounding myself physically here is important. When I notice I go astray in my mind, I need to bring myself back to what I am doing in this moment. And then it is important that I listen to my heart and open myself open to the creativity of the moment. I must practice seeing the possibilities, the potential that is here and that my heart is showing to me – that are ripe and that I only but need to step into.

Thus each time I have a thought of a future projection, I will change that future projection into a present projection, by looking at what I can create do HERE in this moment, to express myself in a way that will support myself/others. I will look at how I can transform that drive to create in the future, to how I can create/express HERE in this moment. And I will push myself to walk through laziness/resistance towards creating HERE – as I see that this is also a tactic used by the mind to keep my preoccupied with what I should/could be doing – instead of what I am doing here.

Day 335: Slowing Down

Of all animal species on earth, human beings is the only one capable of creating a dream/goal/vision, and then, walk through life with the sole focus of fulfilling that future point of creation. All other types of animals lives and creates in the moment with no particular idea of how they would like their future to look like. As much as this skill we have is what makes us powerful, extraordinary and capable of building magnificent things, it is also our greatest weakness, in particular when our drive/desire to bring something into creation ‘out there’ gets in the way of living and experiencing life on a day to day basis HERE.

To better understand this point I will share an example from my own life. All since beginning my university studies some 6 years ago, I have been very motivated to get through them and to dive into the world system and start applying myself in my area of expertise. This focus of mine was initially very supportive, because I was clear and determined, I knew where I was going and had a general idea of how I was going to get there. However, when I was about to finish my studies, and I applied for the last advanced courses, a doubt and insecurity started to creep up within me. I had achieved excellent marks and before me was a world of opportunities, though the problem was that I had no particular interest or passion in any field or area. For me, all the various focuses that I could decide to move into where the same. On top of this, there was a conflict within me, as to whether I should choose a focus where there was more money, or a focus that was more aligned with what I enjoyed to do.

This uncertainty grew within me and continued for a long while after I was done with my university studies. I just did not feel comfortable in deciding on a focus, on a direction, and on where I wanted to take my life. I felt like it was too much of a decision, because, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I after several years realized that I had moved in the wrong direction? What was I supposed to do then? At that point I would have wasted all of these years, when I instead could have made the right decision immediately. Hence, what became my focus was what I wanted to do in the future, not, what I wanted to do, and what I was already involved with HERE. Because, as I was having these uncertainties about my future, I at the same time enrolled in a advanced class, and I continued to pursue hobbies and leisurely interests – yet always with this little voice deep inside my mind reminding me that I did not really know what to make of myself in my future.

It is fascinating to look back and see how this pattern of wanting to know and be clear on who I am going to be, and what I am going to do in my future plays out, and what that consequences flows from this mind design. In trying so desperately to know what we going to create with our lives, we miss out on the actual real life process of creating and building ourselves, our days, our interests, our careers, and all of the various things that are included in this thing we call life. Instead of creation being HERE, in the moment, in the physical, something that we express naturally as WHO WE ARE, life then becomes mechanic, where we fill ourselves up with logical assessments and attempts at making final and conclusive decisions as to where we are going, FORGETTING that, life can only be effectively lived in the moment – and while it is possible to have a plan and general outline of where we are going – it is not possible to decide upon where we will end up eventually.

I had a chat with a friend of mine during the time when my uncertainties reached a peak, and she shared with me the following:

We often think that things only get moving THERE in the FUTURE – when all the while, to create that future – starts with EVERY DAY, that little you do to get things moving and building on it however much you can with each passing day.

This statement has been the SOLUTION for me to move out of my inner madness of continuously wondering about, considering, and looking at what I should do – and instead embracing what is HERE.

I find it fascinating how it is so, so easy to become overwhelmed and lost within feelings and fantasies of what we should be doing, want to do, feel like doing, resist doing, hope to do, dream about doing, instead of focusing on WHAT WE ARE DOING and what is POSSIBLE in the life we already live here. It is so easy to get lost in thoughts about doing and experiencing things that are not a practical or a realistic option, and at the same time, completely forgetting and missing what is right in-front of us.

Now, creation starts HERE, with the small and seemingly insignificant acts that things moving in the direction we have foreseen. If you have an urge to learn a new language, however, you have looked at it and realized that there is no time to do to pursue a course or travel a country where that language is spoken – then – instead of getting stuck in that state of wondering – look at of the box – what small thing are you able to do in your everyday life that will bring you closer to the goal that you have set for yourself. Maybe, one such act would be to buy a audio beginners language course and then practice and  learn the new language while driving to work?

When we SLOW the fuck DOWN – stop rushing and looking at what we must reach out there in the future – and bring our focus BACK HERE – that is when shit starts to make sense. Whatever it is that we want, on some level, it is already here and ripe for the taking – we just need to open our eyes – see it – and act.

Learn more about this way of living:

Day 311: Inspired to Calm Down!

At my job, I find it interesting, that the people with the most responsibility are often those that have a significantly laid back and relaxed attitude. Or, at least this is the case where I am working, and it is one person particularly that lives the words calm/relaxed. He is fascinating to observe and I see that I can learn a lot from him in terms of how to approach work.

For example, I have never seen him stress, or walk fast through the corridors and each day he takes time to talk with his co-workers. He seems to be enjoying life and is not stuck up, stressed, or anxious about his work. I on the other hand, I often experience anxiety and stress when I am in the midst of working. It has become a habit to work in a particular pace, to do things ‘fast’ and ‘efficiently’ – and while this is cool in certain areas of life – other areas require pondering, prudence, patience – and all of those words have a relationship to CALM and RELAXED. Because, how can you ponder something, if you are already rushing to the ‘solution’? And how can you be patient if you have already moved to act? And how can you be prudent if you do not take time to look at things, investigate, introspect?

Recently I have had this insight open up within me: What is it that I am working so hard towards? Where is it that I am trying to go? When will I ever be satisfied and relaxed with where I am at? And I could see that I will never be relaxed, satisfied and at peace unless I make the decision to LIVE those words in my life. And I will never be content and calm with the way things are moving unless I make the decision to LIVE those words. Hence, it is a complete illusion that I can apparently achieve calm, relaxation, and some form of future fulfillment through working ‘hard’ now – running and racing towards a specific outcome in the future – it is not real! However, what is real, is what I have here now. And what I do have is a job that I enjoy, it is challenging and interesting, and it offers me much opportunity for expansion. Though, if I never accept and allow myself to slow down, to relax, and allow myself to be calm, then I will not be able to fully SMELL THE ROSES and ENJOY what is here now – and FULLY live and participate with what is here now.

This what I have described, I will call the racing-character – because this pattern has the resonance of trying to get somewhere – fast – efficiently – NOW – to achieve something so that I then – at some point – can relax and let go; a COMPLETE illusion and falsity.

Another characteristic that I see in my colleague is that he is relaxed about mistakes, about things going wrong, and not working out, when it does, he looks for a solution, and then he moves on. And this I also see as being a characteristic of calm, because when I am calm, mistakes are not that bad, as there is sufficient with time for me to look for a solution, to learn from the mistake, and then to move on.

So, how can I live the word calm in my life, what can I learn from my colleague?

To not be so serious, to face problems and issues with a light heart, look for solutions, learn from mistakes, and not make it a process involving fear, anxiety and stress – AND – to not stress and rush to achieve a specific outcome. I find it is cool to have goals, because this makes it easier to make decisions, though that goal must never take away focus from life HERE and the point of WHO I AM within what I do. In-fact, it is possible to live such words as calm, satisfaction, ease, and relaxed, while at the same time, with discipline and direction, moving myself to create a goal/result that I would like to see in my life – the words are not mutually exclusive.

Hence, I commit myself to practice, for the coming days, to apply these words in my work, and in particular when it comes to being hard on myself for mistakes that I do, and becoming stressed and anxious about creating a particular result in certain frame of time – instead I will push myself to walk my life in CALM – and utilize my colleague as a inspiration.

Day 301: Making Decisions In A Rush

Lately, a couple of events have played out in my life of a similar theme. This theme is making decisions in a rushed state, which leads to consequences. Let me begin with an example from my life. At the moment I am in the process of building a house, and as such, this requires many decisions to be made. One of these decisions have involved whether or whether not an old staircase should be removed. Initially, I decided that it was to be removed. But some days ago, I started to think differently. And this is where it started to get interesting.

During the course of a morning I changed my mind, I now wanted to keep the staircase. Looking back at my line of reasoning, it was based on but a few of all the relevant dimensions to take into consideration – and this happened because I moved too hastily in my decision making. Though, the idea of wanting to now keep the staircase came up fast within me, and I jumped on the bandwagon. Without sitting down to consider the point and look at it more deeply, I decided, and then started to look for ways to implement my decision. What is fascinating is that this decision was made within and as a rushed state. I felt like I had to make a decision immediately, and then push it into creation as fast as I could; I felt that else I would potentially loose out on something. Hence I contacted the workers, and shared the new set of directions.

All good, until the next day, when I started to consider removing the staircase. Also this time, there was this rush in me, to immediately make the decision. Though, now I could see how irrational this decision making process was. In just the span of two days I had felt a rush, and impatience to make two complete opposite decisions. How is that even possible? Fact is that it is not practically possible, and that makes sense because this rush and impatience is not practical – it has nothing to do with the actual decision to be made. Instead, these experiences are behavioral patterns that I have created in relation to decision making, and these sabotage my ability to make clear, well-researched and sound decisions that are best for all. Because the latter decision making process requires that I slow down, that I for a moment stop, silence myself, and look within me, to in this process investigate the pros and cons of the point.

The solution that I see with regards to this point is to apply patience, and to slow myself down, to allow decisions to grow forth and take the time they need – because it takes time to look at and consider all dimensions of a decision – it does not and cannot happen in the blink of an eye. And if it does happen fast, well, most likely important aspects and dimensions has been overlooked. What I see that I can do to help me with slowing down in my decision making process is to sit down with a piece of paper, and write the pros and cons of the decision I am looking at. Perhaps, make some coffee for myself, and make it a moment of meditation, where I can also challenge myself to look at as many dimensions as possible – hence allowing for decision making to become a process of expansion.

In terms of the initial example I gave, I can see that if I would have allowed myself to sit down, and consider all the dimensions of removing, or not removing the staircase, I would not have had to go through the entire experience of rushing, of running to various persons and changing my decision. Instead, I would have looked at the point once, and then established, what is the best direction that I can take, and then stuck with that.

So, really, what I can also learn from this is that taking things slow makes things go faster in the long run, as I am that way able to avoid many mistakes and errors that I might have otherwise created for myself. Hence, do it once and do it properly, instead of doing it incompletely five times.


Day 295: Preparation and Planning – then – Execution

Today at work, I had a moment of epiphany. Now, for some context, in my line of work; precision, detail, thoroughness, and specificity are very important. An entire body of work can in practice be ruined if some small details are missed. That is why, in order to do the work effectively, one requires the abilities and skills of patience, structure, and precision. Without those it is hard to produce quality work.

So, back to the situation at my work. I had been given a task, and I was eager to get it done. And more specifically, I was in a slight rush. In my mind was circulating things like; “better get this thing done now, as I will not have any time tomorrow” – and “I must move and be productive” – so there was a movement within me of wanting to get to the state of execution – and be over and done with this project.

Now, I did execute the task, finished it, and it unfortunately turned out there were some mistakes in my work, which were pointed out to me as it was sent back to me for editing. So, in that moment I looked within me and asked myself how it is that I am creating these moments for myself, where I miss points and err because I have not paid attention, not seemingly been able to identify the mistakes at all. This brought me to the realization that I have a tendency to want to force execution – or force the ACTION stage in the process of creation.

I could see, that in my line of work, and in many other areas of life as well, the act of creation is a two-step process. First step is the planning and preparation phase. This is the phase where the point to be created is researched, the information is gathered, and the execution is planned. Basically the following questions are asked; what is going to be created, how is it going to be created, why is it going to be created, and when is it going to be created? These questions are important to answer, because when entering the phase of execution, if there is no plan, no clear direction on where I am going, it is easy for me to loose my overview, and get lost in the experience of creating.

I could see that what happens to me, and that results in these errs that I tend to make, is that I many times skip, or rush through the phase of planning and preparation, and enter prematurely into the execution phase. And then I will move around in the execution phase, in a state of forcing myself forward, trying to reach a result, leaving a sloppy trail of small errors in my wake – which will then come back to bite me in my ass later, because I have not taken the time to prepare, to execute, and then, also to cross-reference my creation. All in all, the process of creation has been rushed, which creates the consequence of a imperfect result.

I could see from my life that when I had planned and prepared effectively before proceeding into the execution state, most of the time my creations had been satisfying. For example, my most recently bought car, I am very satisfied with this purchase. This is no coincidence, because before the purchase, I put in a lot of time into researching what car would be best for me, that would fit my needs. I took myself the time to ask the questions, what is it that I want? What is it that I require? What is important and what is not? And this resulted in me buying a car that effectively satisfies my needs and requirements.

Then I have examples from when I did not plan or prepare effectively. I recently bought a couple of expensive shoes, with a leather sole. I bought them because I did require shoes to fit with one of my suits, though, I had not investigated the brand of shoes I bought, or the characteristics of leather sole shoes. And I had not really shopped around to see if there was something better out there. After I bought the shoes, which happened impulsively, I realized that these type of shoes are very sensitive to the Scandinavian climate, and can barely be utilized as outdoor shoes. And that is not very good in my situation, because what I require are shoes that can be used both outdoors, and indoors. Hence, I bought a couple of shoes that does not fully suit my needs, and the consequence of this is that I will have to purchase another couple of shoes that do fit my requirements.

Hence, planning and preparation are very important aspects in the process of creation. Without planning and preparation, there is a much greater likelihood that the phase of action will be filled with errors, mistakes and unwanted outflows. What I will practice is thus to walk through the two steps of creation with patience, specificity, and calm – not rush the process of creation – instead walking in the tempo of breath – one breath at a time. And when I am satisfied with my preparation, then I move into action, and fulfill the process of creation.

Day 240: What Is Real Independence?

independenceIf you who are reading this have reached an age above 18, I’m quite certain that you can relate the phenomenon called teenage rebellion, or the ‘breaking away from your parents’-phase. My own breaking-away period was to put it mildly, very aggressive and destructive, and the fascinating thing is that I did it in order to prove to my parents that I was now independent. Though, was I really ever independent when I had to PROVE my independence to someone else?

Nah, not really, because real independence has nothing to do with your parents, or anyone else for that matter, real independence is about yourself – and who you are in relationship to your own mind. Real independence is something that we are able to live regardless of where we are, with who we are, regardless of what we are doing, or when we are doing it – because real independence is the point of us STANDING as the SELF-DIRECTIVE principle within ourselves – which means that we direct ourselves in every waking moment according to COMMON SENSE as what is best for all.

Now, today I wish to write about my experience of moving back to my mother at the mature age of 28, something that in my own culture, is looked upon as a regression, and seen as a failure to ‘create your own life’ – because apparently – creating your own life means living in your own apartment, having your own job, your own friends, your own stuff, your own dreams, and so on. Though, let’s take a closer look on this cultural belief system – does it stand a thorough common sense investigation? Let’s see shall we.

Does having your own job, or being self-employed mean that you are ‘independent’? No – because your still connected to your employer, or customers – and obviously still dependent upon the monetary system to continue functioning properly. And with having your own apartment – that doesn’t really make you INDEPENDENT – but rather dependent on your apartment. So let’s face one often missed fact about this physical world – it’s based on relationships of dependency – there is not one single point in this world that stands independent. You can have millions of money and your bank-account and still – you and your life will be dependent upon a myriad of other beings and creatures in this world.

So, if independence can’t exist in this physical world? Then where can it be found? Well, independence is about WHO YOU ARE within yourself – it’s about how you approach things – being independent could for example entail having a ability to effectively assess information as to whether it’s reliable or not, and thus not allow yourself to be swayed by reactions and opinions of others. Or it could entail an ability to set goals for yourself, and move towards these, and in this process – not accept and allow yourself to change and compromise on the basis of what others would like your life to become. This would be real and practical examples of independence lived in the physical – coming from the internal and expressed in the external.

Thus, me moving home to live with my mother, does this say anything about my state of independence? No – because me as the expression of independence is something that I can live, walk and create each and every day regardless of my environment – because independence is about WHO I AM – and not WHERE I am. The fact of the matter is that moving home to my mother, out on the countryside was a specific, well planned, and thought through decision – something that I realized I wanted to do, because I have an affinity for the country side – thus actually a independent decision.

We can conclude with the following – in this physical external world it’s not possible to stand as a point independence – because all points affect each-other – and rather – embracing dependence and realizing how your actions and life will affect that of another is a key for the human race to move forward towards a better world for all. Though, independence can be lived internally, as WHO WE ARE, as HOW we approach things, as HOW we live – in this realm within ourselves we are able to stand independent and let our thoughts, words and actions be genuine representations of WHO WE ARE in-fact – where we do not anymore hide but instead express our individual and unique beingness expression – and live that which we’ve decided that we will accept and allow – and stop participation in that which we’ve decided that we will not accept and allow.

Day 238: Self-neglect – and how to correct it

A couple of awesome and inspiring interviews have been released from Eqafe in the last few days covering the subject self-neglect. Here are links to the products:

Self Neglect: How you Neglect Yourself – Atlanteans – Part 307

Self Neglect: Changing the Pattern – Atlanteans – Part 308

Self Neglect: Awareness Emerges – Atlanteans – Part 309

NeglectedWhen I listened to the interviews I was amazed, because I could clearly see how I had been neglecting myself, my body, my process, and in short myself. Before I couldn’t see my self-neglect – it had become part of me – and in this world the generally accepted way of moving through life is within and as self-neglect. In some ways it is actually demanded of each human being to neglect him or herself – neglect is a part of the survival system – where we have to neglect that which is best for all in order to survive in the world system.

The word neglect in the dictionary has the definition: Fail to care for properly

Now this definition requires us to have a clear definition of the words care and properly – because without being clear on those two words – we are not able to see when we do not CARE for a point in our world PROPERLY – and thus neglect ourselves. And that is what these interviews assisted and supported me to see – because some practical examples are given – and being shown the nature and of neglect and it comes through – it’s easier to see the energetic signature.

For example, you can find the energetic signature of self-neglect in your self/actions/living when you rush through doing the dishes, just trying to get it down as fast as possible, and leaving behind grease, and stains of food on the plates. You can find the signature when you go to the bathroom, and as you wash your hands, you do it routinely without attentively making sure your hands are clean, rubbing the soap, and making sure that your hygiene is effective. You can also spot the energy of self-neglect when you wake up in the morning, and you start that inner rush, going into the bathroom while at the same time thinking about what you are going to do, and forgetting to make your bed, or opening the window to vent musty air from your bedroom after a night of sleep.

Basically, you will find self-neglect in the areas of your life where you have a tendency to be IN YOUR MIND, in the NEXT THING you are going to do, in the NEXT project – and this you will experience as a RUSH – a constant experience of anxiety/stress/pressure – where you will justify not living in and caring for your physical reality effectively, through thinking that you do not have the time. That is the very core of self-neglect – failing to care for your physical reality because the mind reality is seen as more important.

It’s not strange that our world looks the way it looks, with the ecosystem deteriorating, the economical system falling apart, the educational system worsening by each day, when we in our personal lives are not able to care for ourselves and our direct environment. Isn’t it obvious that this will reflect in the world system? It’s common sense that the greater whole is the sum of all the small parts – and the small parts in the context of the world system is each human beings individual life – individual actions – and individual expression.

Thus, if we are serious about changing the world to become a better place, we MUST start with ourselves, and make sure that we don’t accept and allow neglect in our personal worlds. Because if we do – how can we ever expect the greater whole to change? It’s impossible!

Day 184: OUT-of-time or IN-time?

Today I listened to an interview called: “How do you see time?” – which covered ‘time’ – and I will not delve deeper into the specifics of the interview but rather share what I realized – and what I could see that I require to specify and work with further.

So – time – most of us – me included – tend to never be in-time because we’re mostly out-of-time – meaning: We’re not HERE in breath with time (IN-time) but somewhere else, struggling to create the future we want, or worrying that we’ll experience a future that we don’t want to have. This is because we tend to define the future, our fantasies, and wants within a positive energy charge – and our past within a negative energy charge – and because of that we strive towards the future and try to avoid the past.

Thus – what I will practice from here on is applying myself HERE – and pushing myself to remain IN-time – instead of OUT-of-time – to remain IN-breath – instead of being OUT-of-breath – and this is as I see it something that I simply have to practice and will myself to live until it becomes an automated state of being – and here I must will and discipline myself to really just be HERE and function with what is HERE – and remain clear within my principles and why it is that I am HERE in this life – why it is that I’ve decided to walk – live and apply myself in my life – and that I am doing it for LIFE and what is BEST for all – and in that principle – in my goals there can’t be any room for fear or desire – instead I must push myself to utilize each moment that arise HERE and make the most of my LIFE – and I am only able to make the most of my life if I live my life – and I can only live my life in this breath HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life exists in my mind and in my future – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame time – and project my experience of myself as not being grounded and stable in the physical on time – in believing that it’s time that causes me to go into and as a state of being unstable – and wearisome in this moment here – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it’s not about time – and that it’s not about my life – it’s about who I am in relationship to and as my human physical body – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not pursue and practice me grounding myself in every moment in my physical body – and deliberately bringing myself back here when I see that I’ve gone into some projection in my mind – and realize that in order to live to my fullest potential I require to be HERE – live HERE – and apply myself HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the solution for my life exists in my mind – and in reaching for and fantasizing about the dreams I have in my mind – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the solution is here – with me – with who I am in relationship to my life and my mind in every moment of breath – and thus I push and will myself – and discipline myself to remain here – to stop going into projections in the mind and to live with and as every moment here

I realize that it’s not effective living as a dreamer – and trying to prevent a future that doesn’t exist – and I instead realize that it’s effective to live every moment to it’s fullest – to direct myself in every moment and make sure that I make the most of each and every breath

I commit myself to discipline myself to remain with and as breath – and immediately stop projections as they come up within me – to breathe through fear of the future – and immediately bring myself back here – and I commit myself to make this a automated behavior and something that I apply effortlessly

I commit myself to develop courage to walk through the fear of the future – and make the decisions that I resist – walk the decisions that I resist – and face the unknown – and walk into the unknown – and not accept and allow myself to cower and diminish myself – but instead straighten out my back – pull my cheek up and walk into the future – and face it

I commit myself to develop self-discipline – and stop fear and stress as it arise within me – and instead walk my decision fully and completely – walk not for myself but for humanity and for a life that is best for all – to remove self-interest and make me and my life an instrument of life

I commit myself to remove self-interest from my decision making and instead look at what is best for all – to remove the concept of ‘my life’ and instead make my life a WE – and instrument of the WE to come to it’s fullest and most optimal expression

I stand – I apply – and I will myself to change this point and not stop until it’s done and I live courage and stability and I walk and make the most of my life in each and every moment HERE

Day 131: Hastiness

Today I was studying and within doing that I noticed an interesting movement within me. It was a feeling of hastiness – I wanted to get through what it was that I was doing and go to the next thing on my ‘to-do-list’. I realized in that moment that in living from this starting point of hastiness I can’t experience and live the word fulfillment – because living fulfillment required that I live each moment FULLY here – doing what is here completely and with no agenda or future projection of wanting to get to or do something else.

Thus I see that I must practice physically slowing myself down in these moments – and walking the particular point I am involved within slowly, precisely, and specifically – being fully immersed and involved within what I am doing.


hastinessI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from a starting point of hastiness, wherein I am trying to get ahead of myself, trying to get to the next moment, trying to get to a place where I’d rather want to be than being here with what I am doing – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from this moment here – and to not accept and allow myself to live FULLY – here – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to live fulfillment practically – I require to slow myself down and move with each moment of breath as breath here – as such not trying to haste myself to get to a future moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to haste myself through particular responsibilities that I have within my world because I perceive them to be boring, tedious, and not produce a result that I feel good about – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions as to what I am going to do – and how I am going to do it – on the basis of how I feel about it – instead of making the decision of what I am going to do – and how I am going to do it – upon the basis of what I see is practical – effective – and creates an outcome that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to haste through certain responsibilities in my world – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a future projection in my mind as to where it is that I want to get to – and how I want to experience myself in getting to that particular point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down – and let go of these future projections – and instead accept and allow myself to be fully and completely here with and as my breath – my body – and the responsibility that I am walking here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize my world into things that I like doing – and things that I don’t like doing – and as such create a relationship to responsibilities in my world where I am hasting through them – just to get them done – so that I can get to the things that I like doing and that I have a positive relationship with – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that regardless of what I do the common denominator is the physical – and breath – and this point is equal and one in all of my world – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself with and as this breath – and walk my responsibilities as breath – and stop polarizing my world into things that I like and that I don’t like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am creating conflict within myself when I am polarizing my life into things I don’t like and things I like – and that the consequence will be that I am going to the things I have defined as me not liking – less effectively than what I am capable of – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and stabilize myself here – and equalize myself in all of my world – so that what I do is physical – it’s nothing more and nothing less – and I do not have a particular experience towards what I am doing – it’s simply a physical action that I walking in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace all my responsibilities and realize that there is enjoyment to be found within and as all points of my life – responsibilities and entertainment – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have to stand as that joy – as the point of fulfillment – as me immersing myself in what I am doing and allowing myself to become it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and haste through certain responsibilities in my world instead of embracing them – and learning and practicing to enjoy myself within walking them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how the solution is not to haste through responsibilities, but to investigate, and correct, the initial resistance I have towards such a point – I mean – why does resistance comes up? Why is it that I don’t want to do this? And why is it that I want to do some other things? What is it that attracts me or retracts me? What is it that is controlling me? And as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my relationship with things that I like and things that I don’t like – for granted – instead of realizing that the reason I move myself towards certain points – and resist others – is because of my emotional and feeling-based definition of these points – and how I have limited them in my mind to be subject to experiences – instead of walking and interacting with them physically here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the primary point of motivation that exists within me in regards to moving myself – is positive experiences – it’s a stimulation that I am seeking to have – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to fulfill myself and find meaning, purpose, and substance, through having events and situations fill me up with energy – instead of me practicing self-stimulation – and self-fulfillment – as my living principled here – and me creating myself in awareness – in realizing that I do not need external stimulation – I require but myself here within and as stability of breath – moving myself according to what is practical – and what is common sense


When and as I see that I am resisting a responsibility, and I am hasting through it, to get to something I feel that I can enjoy, and feel pleasured within, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am in this moment limiting myself and holding myself back into and as energy – being dependent on energy to direct me and decide who I am – and as such I commit myself to make a decision as to who I am – and stimulate myself – fulfill myself – and motivate myself – and do this through living fully in awareness HERE – and immersing myself in the responsibility that I am walking

When and as I see that I am rushing through a particular responsibility, trying to get it done as fast as possible, so that I can get to something that I feel good about, and that make me feel happy, and pleasured, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am compromising my responsibility through moving myself in this hastiness and rush – and that I am not allowing myself to honor myself as life – as the physical – and that I am not realizing the consequences I am creating for myself due to me not handling the responsibility effectively; as such I commit myself to move myself here in breath – and slow down physically – and immerse myself in the responsibility – and as such remove the projection of a future moment apparently more satisfying and pleasurable than the one here

I commit myself to push through and move myself through the energetic illusion of like and dislike – and rather – instead – walk and live according to what is here – be fully HERE in the moment and as such have no room for dislike or like – as I am simply here – with what is here

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