Tag Archives: rushing

Day 335: Slowing Down

Of all animal species on earth, human beings is the only one capable of creating a dream/goal/vision, and then, walk through life with the sole focus of fulfilling that future point of creation. All other types of animals lives and creates in the moment with no particular idea of how they would like their future to look like. As much as this skill we have is what makes us powerful, extraordinary and capable of building magnificent things, it is also our greatest weakness, in particular when our drive/desire to bring something into creation ‘out there’ gets in the way of living and experiencing life on a day to day basis HERE.

To better understand this point I will share an example from my own life. All since beginning my university studies some 6 years ago, I have been very motivated to get through them and to dive into the world system and start applying myself in my area of expertise. This focus of mine was initially very supportive, because I was clear and determined, I knew where I was going and had a general idea of how I was going to get there. However, when I was about to finish my studies, and I applied for the last advanced courses, a doubt and insecurity started to creep up within me. I had achieved excellent marks and before me was a world of opportunities, though the problem was that I had no particular interest or passion in any field or area. For me, all the various focuses that I could decide to move into where the same. On top of this, there was a conflict within me, as to whether I should choose a focus where there was more money, or a focus that was more aligned with what I enjoyed to do.

This uncertainty grew within me and continued for a long while after I was done with my university studies. I just did not feel comfortable in deciding on a focus, on a direction, and on where I wanted to take my life. I felt like it was too much of a decision, because, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I after several years realized that I had moved in the wrong direction? What was I supposed to do then? At that point I would have wasted all of these years, when I instead could have made the right decision immediately. Hence, what became my focus was what I wanted to do in the future, not, what I wanted to do, and what I was already involved with HERE. Because, as I was having these uncertainties about my future, I at the same time enrolled in a advanced class, and I continued to pursue hobbies and leisurely interests – yet always with this little voice deep inside my mind reminding me that I did not really know what to make of myself in my future.

It is fascinating to look back and see how this pattern of wanting to know and be clear on who I am going to be, and what I am going to do in my future plays out, and what that consequences flows from this mind design. In trying so desperately to know what we going to create with our lives, we miss out on the actual real life process of creating and building ourselves, our days, our interests, our careers, and all of the various things that are included in this thing we call life. Instead of creation being HERE, in the moment, in the physical, something that we express naturally as WHO WE ARE, life then becomes mechanic, where we fill ourselves up with logical assessments and attempts at making final and conclusive decisions as to where we are going, FORGETTING that, life can only be effectively lived in the moment – and while it is possible to have a plan and general outline of where we are going – it is not possible to decide upon where we will end up eventually.

I had a chat with a friend of mine during the time when my uncertainties reached a peak, and she shared with me the following:

We often think that things only get moving THERE in the FUTURE – when all the while, to create that future – starts with EVERY DAY, that little you do to get things moving and building on it however much you can with each passing day.

This statement has been the SOLUTION for me to move out of my inner madness of continuously wondering about, considering, and looking at what I should do – and instead embracing what is HERE.

I find it fascinating how it is so, so easy to become overwhelmed and lost within feelings and fantasies of what we should be doing, want to do, feel like doing, resist doing, hope to do, dream about doing, instead of focusing on WHAT WE ARE DOING and what is POSSIBLE in the life we already live here. It is so easy to get lost in thoughts about doing and experiencing things that are not a practical or a realistic option, and at the same time, completely forgetting and missing what is right in-front of us.

Now, creation starts HERE, with the small and seemingly insignificant acts that things moving in the direction we have foreseen. If you have an urge to learn a new language, however, you have looked at it and realized that there is no time to do to pursue a course or travel a country where that language is spoken – then – instead of getting stuck in that state of wondering – look at of the box – what small thing are you able to do in your everyday life that will bring you closer to the goal that you have set for yourself. Maybe, one such act would be to buy a audio beginners language course and then practice and  learn the new language while driving to work?

When we SLOW the fuck DOWN – stop rushing and looking at what we must reach out there in the future – and bring our focus BACK HERE – that is when shit starts to make sense. Whatever it is that we want, on some level, it is already here and ripe for the taking – we just need to open our eyes – see it – and act.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 131: Hastiness

Today I was studying and within doing that I noticed an interesting movement within me. It was a feeling of hastiness – I wanted to get through what it was that I was doing and go to the next thing on my ‘to-do-list’. I realized in that moment that in living from this starting point of hastiness I can’t experience and live the word fulfillment – because living fulfillment required that I live each moment FULLY here – doing what is here completely and with no agenda or future projection of wanting to get to or do something else.

Thus I see that I must practice physically slowing myself down in these moments – and walking the particular point I am involved within slowly, precisely, and specifically – being fully immersed and involved within what I am doing.

Self-forgiveness

hastinessI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from a starting point of hastiness, wherein I am trying to get ahead of myself, trying to get to the next moment, trying to get to a place where I’d rather want to be than being here with what I am doing – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from this moment here – and to not accept and allow myself to live FULLY – here – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to live fulfillment practically – I require to slow myself down and move with each moment of breath as breath here – as such not trying to haste myself to get to a future moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to haste myself through particular responsibilities that I have within my world because I perceive them to be boring, tedious, and not produce a result that I feel good about – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions as to what I am going to do – and how I am going to do it – on the basis of how I feel about it – instead of making the decision of what I am going to do – and how I am going to do it – upon the basis of what I see is practical – effective – and creates an outcome that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to haste through certain responsibilities in my world – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a future projection in my mind as to where it is that I want to get to – and how I want to experience myself in getting to that particular point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down – and let go of these future projections – and instead accept and allow myself to be fully and completely here with and as my breath – my body – and the responsibility that I am walking here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize my world into things that I like doing – and things that I don’t like doing – and as such create a relationship to responsibilities in my world where I am hasting through them – just to get them done – so that I can get to the things that I like doing and that I have a positive relationship with – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that regardless of what I do the common denominator is the physical – and breath – and this point is equal and one in all of my world – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself with and as this breath – and walk my responsibilities as breath – and stop polarizing my world into things that I like and that I don’t like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am creating conflict within myself when I am polarizing my life into things I don’t like and things I like – and that the consequence will be that I am going to the things I have defined as me not liking – less effectively than what I am capable of – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and stabilize myself here – and equalize myself in all of my world – so that what I do is physical – it’s nothing more and nothing less – and I do not have a particular experience towards what I am doing – it’s simply a physical action that I walking in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace all my responsibilities and realize that there is enjoyment to be found within and as all points of my life – responsibilities and entertainment – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have to stand as that joy – as the point of fulfillment – as me immersing myself in what I am doing and allowing myself to become it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and haste through certain responsibilities in my world instead of embracing them – and learning and practicing to enjoy myself within walking them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how the solution is not to haste through responsibilities, but to investigate, and correct, the initial resistance I have towards such a point – I mean – why does resistance comes up? Why is it that I don’t want to do this? And why is it that I want to do some other things? What is it that attracts me or retracts me? What is it that is controlling me? And as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my relationship with things that I like and things that I don’t like – for granted – instead of realizing that the reason I move myself towards certain points – and resist others – is because of my emotional and feeling-based definition of these points – and how I have limited them in my mind to be subject to experiences – instead of walking and interacting with them physically here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the primary point of motivation that exists within me in regards to moving myself – is positive experiences – it’s a stimulation that I am seeking to have – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to fulfill myself and find meaning, purpose, and substance, through having events and situations fill me up with energy – instead of me practicing self-stimulation – and self-fulfillment – as my living principled here – and me creating myself in awareness – in realizing that I do not need external stimulation – I require but myself here within and as stability of breath – moving myself according to what is practical – and what is common sense

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am resisting a responsibility, and I am hasting through it, to get to something I feel that I can enjoy, and feel pleasured within, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am in this moment limiting myself and holding myself back into and as energy – being dependent on energy to direct me and decide who I am – and as such I commit myself to make a decision as to who I am – and stimulate myself – fulfill myself – and motivate myself – and do this through living fully in awareness HERE – and immersing myself in the responsibility that I am walking

When and as I see that I am rushing through a particular responsibility, trying to get it done as fast as possible, so that I can get to something that I feel good about, and that make me feel happy, and pleasured, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am compromising my responsibility through moving myself in this hastiness and rush – and that I am not allowing myself to honor myself as life – as the physical – and that I am not realizing the consequences I am creating for myself due to me not handling the responsibility effectively; as such I commit myself to move myself here in breath – and slow down physically – and immerse myself in the responsibility – and as such remove the projection of a future moment apparently more satisfying and pleasurable than the one here

I commit myself to push through and move myself through the energetic illusion of like and dislike – and rather – instead – walk and live according to what is here – be fully HERE in the moment and as such have no room for dislike or like – as I am simply here – with what is here

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