Tag Archives: rust

Day 380: True Detective Season 1 and What I can Learn from Rust and Marty

I have been watching the TV-series True Detective season 1 for the second time this week. It is a great show with so much depth. The dialogue is amazing and the interaction between the two main characters is both humorous and intriguing.

What struck a chord with me this time around was Rusts (one of the main characters) elaboration on his views of humanity. He thinks that we are all searching to create fictional stories to reinforce our idea of ourselves as a person. We will buy a particular type of car, in order to reinforce an image of ourselves. We will go into a particular type of relationship in order to reinforce an idea of ourselves. And we will seek solace in religion and money in order to not have to look at the frailty of it all and that we are in essence flesh – all equal and one. There is nothing special about me or you, because as everyone else, we will die, our bodies decompose, and our sense of individuality will be lost.

In many aspects I agree with Rust. We have become too obsessive and concerned about our image/personality. There is too much focus on ourselves as an individual and what we personally project externally. What is lacking is a care/concern/empathy for/with all. It is accepted as natural to only fight for ourselves and our own life’s – and we also believe that it can be done without consequences. Unfortunately – when everyone only chose to care about themselves and a select few people on top of that – what will develop in the world is a general lack of care and consideration. Survival of the fittest becomes the directive principle – instead of making sure that everyone leads a dignified life.

The mistake Rust makes is that he becomes complacent, resentful and bitter. He blames the world and the people in it for not being better and rejects everyone. He lives austere and abuses his body by over consuming alcohol and drugs. At the same time as he understands some of the key problems in humanity, he is still a part of it and does not do anything to change them.

The other main character of the series is called Marty. In contrast to Rust, Marty is a hedonistic, plain and pretty shallow person. However, he has a big heart and enjoys getting to know and developing relationships with people. The dialogue and interaction over-all between these two characters is one of the best I have ever seen. Rusts austere and fatalistic view of the world becomes a fascinating contrast to Marty’s simple, and according to himself, normal way of looking at life. Obviously they clash. Marty simply cannot understand why Rust must be so gloomy and dark. Rust on the other hand finds Marty’s plain and shallow views and erratic pleasure driven decisions to be immature and bothersome. Even though they are so different, together they become a strong team.

Rust and Marty balance each-other out. Rusts dark and rational understanding reality, his rugged and austere determination brings the case and plot line forward, while Marty’s warmth, his social skills and joy, allows for the team to network and get into the right places.

I can relate to both Rust and Marty and I see that I can learn things from both of them. I enjoy the depth and clarity of Rust, however I also enjoy the warmth and life of Marty – and both of these skills/characteristics are needed in order to be effective at changing/creating self and walking this process. We have to be able to see the depth of the shit, however, we must also bring through the passion and drive, and create something new in its place. We must be able to destroy the old, and then build the new. It is not enough to see what must be changed, we must also make the determined decision to do something about it – and shape life the way we see is best. It is so easy to give up and believe that life just sucks and there is nothing to do about it. It is not true – we determine what is possible to be created.

Day 426: Planning/Structuring My Next Move

Creating a structure, a plan, a way to go, it takes time, it takes effort, and sometimes, it feels like its not worth it. Hell, why not just go for it immediately? At least, that has been the case for me. Well, I have now come to see things differently.

I am actually in the midst of removing rust from my car. It has not been a particularly difficult process, until that is, I got to the part where I have to varnish the car. Then things started to become complicated, because in order to have the reparation blend in with the old varnish, there are certain techniques that must be used. Unfortunately, I learned these techniques AFTER I had begun with my project, which again shows the importance of STRUCTURE and PLANNING. The natural progression in my case would have been that I first sat down to do research on the techniques of how to remove rust and the varnish the car effectively. And then to go out and apply it in reality. However, because I was so eager, excited, and also, a bit arrogant, I went out and into action without hesitation.

However, there have been more complications. In the middle of varnishing the car, I ran out of color. And now, I have two spots on the car where there is no varnish, and usually, it takes a couple of weeks for the color to arrive when ordered, and hence, I might have to abort mission in the middle of the process, and then return to it at a later stage to do it again. If, I would have prepared all the ingredients, all the tools, all the things I need, BEFORE, I started the project, and hence committed myself to following a STRUCTURE, I would not have this problem.

These are all examples of why structure is important, and also examples of situations where structure has not been applied sufficiently.

Thus – the solution – to SLOW DOWN – and BEFORE I begin the ACTION part of a project – to do my research – to prepare – to plan – to consider the application and movement to come – and THEN – to go into ACTION. And obviously – with some things, there is not much to be planned or considered, and with other things there are many points to contemplate, especially those that I am not familiar with.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist applying structure, because I feel that it is boring, there is no ACTION in it, I do not get anywhere, it is just discussing and planning, looking at the point, no MOVEMENT, and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define action and movement as only being the part of a project where I DO something PHYSICALLY that has an immediate and direct impact on the point I am walking – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that a successful project, a successful application, has many other dimensions to it, that impact on a indirect level, such as for example an effective STRUCTURE, an effective PLAN

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to apply structure, consideration, planning in my life – to push myself to before I begin something, to plan and structure my actions, to while I am in the middle of a project, to push myself to structure and plan my actions, to not go wild into spontaneous action believing that this is the most effective route to go, because I see, realize and understand, that many times it is not – and in-fact – I will have to re-do the project – or I will end up dissatisfied with the results – because I have not applied myself to the level that I am capable of doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that even though creating a structure and a plan takes time, it will show in the final result, it will show in how I walk the point, because when I plan, when I use a structure, I am able to be more relaxed and confident, because I know where I am going, and I know where I am, and I am able to see as well when things do not progress as I see is best – and then act

Self commitment statements

When and as I see myself resisting to sit down and plan, structure and consider a project/movement/direction that I am intending to walk – I stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I take the time to plan, structure and consider my movement, and prepare myself beforehand – I always end up with better results – I am more satisfied and more content with myself – and when I am done – I know the project has not been walked haphazardly – and hence – I commit myself to PLAN, STRUCTURE, PREPARE and CONSIDER my movement/direction/application within a project BEFORE I move into the ACTION-phase – to as such support myself to achieve the best results possible

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Day 163: Consequences of making assumptions

For the last week I’ve been busying myself with my car, taking care of rust that have begun developing, sanding, and repainting, so that the rust won’t continue eating away at the metal. In order to make the reparations simpler, I placed my car at a parking lot that wasn’t my own, and I assumed that somebody didn’t own this particular parking lot, because there were no cars around.

This morning as I walked down to continue the reparations, I found my car vandalized. One viper had been ripped off and the other bent, and one of the side rear-view mirrors had been torn off. My immediate reaction was that of anger, and indignation, I could feel that adrenaline flow through my body, as I continuously asked myself how somebody could be so irresponsible, and careless as to make a conscious decision to destroy parts of my car.

After this initial reaction, I looked more deeply at the point, and found some fascinating dimensions, that I realized had caused this particular play-out. Firstly, I became relatively certain that someone who owned one of the parking lots that I had claimed was responsible the destruction, and secondly, I realized that in my decision to place my car at this particular spot, I’d made some careless assumptions.

I saw that when I placed my car at this, seemingly, abandoned parking lot, I’d only considered my own self-interest, which was to make the reparation of the car more simple, and I’d quite arrogantly, and hastily looked at the point as to whether someone else might be the owner of one of the other lots. I simply assumed, that because no car was there at the time when I was there, then the lots probably didn’t have an owner, instead of realizing that the lots might be owned by someone that begin their work early mornings, and come home late at the night, or that the owner was on a vacation and thus unable to claim their lot as normal. Obviously, my initial assumption as ineffective, and it resulted in consequences for me, as well as another – because due to my initial faulty judgment, someone had been without his or hers parking lot, and on top of this, my car had sustained some heavy damages.

So, WHY did I make an initial faulty assessment of the situation?

Actually, I saw that I wasn’t innocent in my assessment of the situation – I made the assumption because it was easy, and comfortable – as it would’ve taken more effort for me to make certain that the parking lots really were unused, which would’ve entailed me calling the company that are responsible for the lots, and checking whether there is a user for the parking lot I planned annexing for a moment.

Thus, what am I able to learn from this? Obviously, to never make assumptions, but to make sure that I do have all the information relevant in order to make a informed decision, and also, realizing that whenever I tamper with points that influence the world of another, that this can have unpredictable, and harmful consequences, because the mind as it exists in this day and age is not stable, and clearly, there are people in this world who are in such a state of possession of anger, frustration, revenge, and other harmful emotions, that their actions are dangerous – thus, I realize that I must be careful and make sure that I am much more specific with how my actions influence the lives of others, and that when I make a decision, that I am clear on the consequences that this might have, and that I know what I am deciding upon, so that it’s not merely an assumption.

This point can be extended into other points in my world as well, for example, when deciding to eat food, to make sure that I am not arrogant in eating something which date of last use have lapsed, or when making decisions in regards to my future, or life in general, to make sure that I am informed, and that I don’t assume that things will go the way I hope, but that I make sure that I know what I am dealing with.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that my actions will not be harmful to others, and assume that things will work out, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume instead of considering all dimensions of a decision, all possible contingencies, all possible outflows, and in this push myself to make an informed decision, and make a decision that I am sure as to how it will flow out in my physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become upset, and blame another human being for what happened to my car, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am equally responsible for the event, and that I could’ve prevented the point from occurring, had I been more aware, more attentive, and consider my decisions more deeply, and thoughtfully, instead of going with the first thing that comes up in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that I know, and that I have control of a situation, and make the decision that is the most comfortable for me, instead of pushing myself, when and as I make decisions, to look at all possible outflows, and all contingencies that might manifest, and flow from my decision, and my movement, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of superiority, and feeling better, and more than others, and think that I am control, and I know what is happening, and I know how this moment is going to flow, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that I really don’t, and that I am making an assumption, and that this might have dire consequences for me as well as others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for my car being vandalized, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this point was a point that I was directly involved in creating, and that I could’ve prevented, if I’d accepted and allowed myself to look at the moment, and the decision unconditionally, and without trying to protect my self-interest and have my way, and have things go as I want them to go and flow, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have only myself to blame, and that sure, another might be possessed within his, or hers mind, yet I was the point that triggered this possession, which I did through not being specific, considerate, and present in my decisions, and in my movement in my world and reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into blame, and a self-defense mechanism, of wanting to prosecute, and bring the perpetrator before justice, and have my right, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility in realizing that I create the outflow of this moment, that I am responsible, and that this situation and outflow shows me an important point about myself that I’ve not yet corrected, or worked with sufficiently, which is to be considerate, thoughtful, and open to looking at a decision from a multidimensional perspective, when and as I make decisions

I commit myself to when and as I make decisions, and move myself in my world, to consider my actions, my decisions, and my movement from a multidimensional point, and ask myself, what consequences will this create for others, and what will, or might this point lead to in the life of another, and how I am able to make decisions that will prevent unwanted outcomes and results

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that its immature to blame another for the consequences that occur in my life, because when I look at it, and I am completely self-honest, I see that I am the cause, I am the creator, and that as such, these consequences would’ve not happened unless I made them happen, and that I could’ve prevented this point through playing out my decision in my mind, with the information I had access to, and realized that this was a potential outflow

I commit myself to not make decision in a haste, or without consideration, because I realize that when I do, I tend to assume, and when I assume, I care consequences for myself, and an outflow that will not be effective – and as such I commit myself to stop assuming and instead push myself to gather all the relevant information, and make a decision that takes all possible outcomes and contingencies into consideration, and from this decide upon a route that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the mindset of another, and to blame another for not taking responsibility for their mind, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself in realizing that in almost 100% of the cases where people have possessions around me, or towards me, that I’m part of the problem, and that I have played my part in creating that particular point of conflict

I thus commit myself to be considerate, careful, and specific in my dealings with other people in my world, and push myself to take into account how I am affecting others, and realizing that this might have consequences not only or me, but for the other person as well – thus I commit myself to stop blaming and I instead stand as the change that is required in order to prevent situations like the one I’ve walked through from ever occurring – the solution being to make sure that I consider others when I make decisions and that I stop making assumptions and favoring my self-interesting in a state of arrogance and belief that I am in control