Tag Archives: safe

Day 368: Trying To Relieve Stress for Money With More Money

It is not possible to achieve a state of fearlessness and comfort in using money through making more money – however – this is a belief that I have held and one of the prime driving forces that have motivated me to expand in relation to money. This is not a sound relationship to have in relation to money as is shown in THIS interview. An effective relationship with money is practical – money is something we earn to be use – to fulfill certain needs that must be directed to create an effective life – and that is it.

Money in itself does not cause stress – lacking money does not in itself cause stress – and having more is thus not something that will relieve stress – the ONLY solution is to look within and establish the actual cause of the stress – forgive it – and commit to change into a more effective way of life.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to relieve anxiety and stress in relation to money through making more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that more money will not relieve stress, rather me dealing with and directing my money fears will relieve fears – and thus I see, realize and understand – that in order to be effective with money – I must release and let go of all of these money fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money because I believe that money is god over my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to serve my god, to serve my fears, and in the belief it will help me to retain and keep money in my life – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the solution is not more money, the solution is to transcend and move through my money fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money, and fear the system of money, and believe that I am inferior to money, and that a good way of ensuring a stable relationship with money is to fear and experience anxiety around money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that instead of fearing money, a more effective strategy to effectively work with money, is to learn about money, to develop practical money strategies and tactics so that I can use money more effectively in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that money is a tool, and as with any tool, I have to learn how to use it effectively – and when I have any form of reaction or experience in relation to the tool – it will make me less efficient with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money, not seeing, realizing and understanding that money is not dangerous – and that in-fact – it is not money I fear – I fear what I have projected into money – which is that my life will fall apart – that I will lose control and fall

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use my fears in relation to money to investigate and see myself – to get to know all my hangups so that I can transcend them – and move through them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior in relation to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as incapable, and thus believe that I am incapable of getting money, and that I am incapable of handling my life without money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money is the key to peace – and to believe that when I have achieved a certain amount of money, then I will be able to let go, to finally walk this earth without fear, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am in-fact limiting myself extensively by projecting my desire, and my want for peace into money – which cannot ever give me that – because with peace – I have to give it to myself through actually transcending and letting go of my emotional bodies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the power I have to create, and that I have projected this power unto money – believing that money is the source of my inner and outer reality and that as long as I fear money – I have money under control and will thus be able to bring it into my existence on a regular basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself for fearing money – take charge of my relationship with money – and define this relationship as a practical and physical relationship – based within the practical premises of the physical – where there thus is nothing more or less than me handling and using money in the physical HERE

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into fear in relation to money, and motivating myself to have more money, through believing that I can get to a point of peace that way, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that it is not a solution to get more money as that will not give me peace – and it is not a solution to strive for peace through trying to achieve and get more material possessions – and in-fact it is not a solution what so ever to believe that something external can give me what I need on a internal basis – and thus I commit myself to bring my attention back HERE – to look within me at what is stirring – and immediately push myself to do self-forgiveness – apply corrective statements – and then live these in my physical reality – thus creating peace for and as myself

I commit myself to use money practically – and to develop a practical, physical and simplistic relationship with money – where money is a tool that I use – it is not more than or less than that


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Day 327: What Are We Living For?

What are we living for? Looking at how we live on a day-to-day basis, it is clear that this point have not been investigated sufficiently. The tendency we have is to place primary value on our external lives. When we have a job, we have a house, and we have a partner, then our life is functional and apparently fulfilling. However, when we are not able to find work, we struggle to survive, and we cannot find a partner, only then we feel that there is something wrong. This is a generalization, but most us seem to have these variables existent within when it comes to determining what is a successful and enjoyable life and what is not – it is all about what goes on around.

Oftentimes, what disappears and lose importance as we tend and care for our external life is our internal realities. Our inner life does not at all have the same standing and priority as our external reality. For example in Europe, many of us view it as a sign of weakness to go visit a psychologist to have your mental status evaluated. And when we look at ‘what we do’  and ‘who we are’ – what emerge within is pictures, remembrances, and memories of the various roles we are and have fulfilled in the system, people, relatives, animals, colleagues, and similar. Apparently, we are the employee, the graduate, successful, the animal owner, the friend, the father or mother, though, what is missing within this is OURSELVES – our inner life – our inner environment – the truth of who we are – that is not defined or limited by the physical reality we move within.

Words such as purpose and meaning also comes through, limited by this one dimensional  view of life. It is about career and family, yet seldom anything more than that. It is as if we have forgotten OURSELVES in the midst of everything, as we come of age and we are forced to face life and what comes with it. Maybe this is why we have had such a difficulty in creating any lasting change in this world. When we do not even know what motivates us, why we feel and experience ourselves the way we do, why we dislike some people and like other, how can we expect to have any significant impact? How can we change, shape, and form our lives in a way that is best for all, and best for ourselves, when we do not know who we are to begin with? When we have forgotten the experiences, inner monologues and decisions, that throughout our lifetime molded us into who we are at this moment, it is not possible to make life something more.

We have forgotten what is important and real, and our focus/emphasis have been located to some very few areas of life, and this has caused us to become blind. We are not able to see how creation works in our external life, as we have not yet investigated and seen it works internally. Accordingly, what should have been a natural part of our education and upbringing, the process of learning about ourselves, does not yet exist.

This is why, if we want to change this world to become a better place, we have to engage in a process of re-education, because the one most important variable of creation that is still not understood is SELF. The result is that we create our lives without self-intimacy, self-love, without understanding what would be best for us, without principles or a clear direction – life seemingly happens – and most of us have no idea what is really going on. Only several years later down the road do we look back and conclude that there was no real plan, intent or meaning with ourselves – that things only happened and we followed along – BECAUSE – we did not know what we wanted and what would have been the best for us – even less so – what would have been best for everyone.

Thus, asking the question ‘what are we living for?’ is important, because it displays the gaping holes existent within our current definition of meaning, expression and life. Are we living for a career? To what purpose? To have money and manifest positive experiences for ourselves and then die? Are we living for our family? For what reason? To feel we belong somewhere, that we do something good, and that we feel happy? But what about OURSELVES? Should not our lives have more depth, more meaning, more reflection, more prudence and consideration, where we SLOW DOWN – and instead of rushing into things – first ask ourselves – is this what is BEST for me? Will this decision, walking this path, support ME in my process of SELF-CREATION? In my process of LIVING my utmost potential, and sharing this expression with others in a way that is best for all?

We as individuals are the only ones able to give our lives meaning, depth, intimacy, something MORE above and beyond the obvious and instantaneous image we see. We are not limited by the appearance of things, by the job we have, the family we live with, the relations we have and roles we step into, we are capable of MUCH MORE – and all of that does unfold as we investigate and open up our relationship with ourselves.


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Day 271: Children and Social Anxiety

Today I met a child at work. Sometimes I find myself reacting in fear/anxiety when I am faced with a child, and this was one of those times. The core fear within all of this is that the child will ‘see through’ my façade and then say something that will penetrate deeply into my very being, and upset me; basically thus, a fear of being exposed as having some form of weakness, and being bullied/attacked because of this weakness.

This fear is similar to the fear I opened up in yesterday’s blog about social anxiety and misunderstandings. The similarity lies in how both these fears comes from an interest of wanting to be liked, and a general fear of people – and what people will think about me. What I am able to see at the moment is that this fear is very limiting, and that, there is absolutely not reason for it to exist within me. Why should I be afraid of being exposed as having an emotional reaction? Why would it be a weakness to have an emotional reaction? Why should I be afraid of being teased/attacked/bullied because I have an experience come up within me in a moment? It simply makes – NO SENSE.

The question can be asked, why is it that I care so much about others and how they see me? The only answer I have to this question is because I do not value myself – somehow I have created a belief within me that I do not matter unless others say I matter – and that my self-definitions is something that must/should be controlled by others. This is not true, because why should I have less worth and value than anyone else in my world? Why is it so that I should be singled out as being of a lesser grade and sort than my peers? It is all mind illusions – fiction – created because I believe that the emotions coming up in my body are real and indicative of WHO I AM in-fact – while – it is only what I have accepted and allowed to be me – I can change – I can decide how I want to live and who I want to be.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful of being exposed by children as having some form of reaction, or experience, and being taunted, or judged by another as being weak – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of fear of showing anything that might resemble a weakness to others – in fear that they are going to expose it and use it to bully me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is what I have done in my youth, utilized the weaknesses I saw in others to bully them and gain an advantage – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here, and see, realize and understand that I will not accept and allow myself to do that again – because I see, realize and understand that it is not acceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide around others because I fear being exposed as being useless and worthless – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold in experiences of emotions – and to suppress them and hold them back – and try to control them – in fear of anyone seeing them – instead of me embracing them and accepting and allowing myself to forgive them unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is not to suppress – the solution is to forgive – the solution is to let go and to accept and allow myself to flow – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath as an emotion comes up within me – not try to fight it – but instead embrace it – and then direct it – and I see, realize and understand that what I resist will persist – and thus I cannot reach any effective conclusion within myself through and as fear/resistance/anxiety/worry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold it against myself that I react in fear when interacting with children, or other people in my life, such as colleagues, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it does not make any sense that I should exist within such a state of resentment and judgment towards myself – because it doesn’t help in anyway – what would help would be me taking a breath – and me accepting and allowing myself to get to know the experience – to recognize that the experience exists within me and that I now have to deal with the experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself – to fear being intimate with myself – to fear seeing into myself – to fear seeing what I experience and getting to know it – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be short with myself – and to not fully investigate and go deeply into myself when and as I am facing a new point within myself – and I see, realize and understand that in order to be able to transcend what is going on within me – I do require to get to know it and I do require to recognize it – and I do require to understand it – so hence – I commit myself to stop judging my experiences, and myself for having them, and I commit myself to stop suppressing them, and instead get to know my experiences

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a fear, or some other undefined experience, and I go into a resistance/fear/anxiety and hide/suppress myself/the experience – I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that in order to transcend this experience, I must understand it, I must recognize it, I must see it for what it is, and I must allow myself go into it – and thus I commit myself to embrace my experiences – to get to know them – and from that vantage point – move myself to transcend them – and be/remain unconditional in this decision to transcend my experiences

I commit myself to remain/stand/walk into the depths of myself without judgment – and to understand how I exist – and not judge – resist – suppress parts of myself because I believe that they indicate weaknesses – that then apparently are bad

I commit myself to when I am around children, or others for that matter, to practice being open, genuine and intimate with others, to practice standing and showing myself, and who I am here, to slightly move my chest forward, and my shoulders back, to stand with a straight back, to recognize what comes up within me, to investigate it, and become comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to not anymore try to hide myself from others in the fear that others are going to judge me

I commit myself to be open with what is going on within myself and stand fearless, with courage, to be intimate with myself – to get to know myself – and to as such – not anymore fear judgment from myself or others – because I stand with and as myself and do not anymore accept and allow myself to fear sharing/experiencing/seeing who and what I am

Day 69: Leave Me Alone!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, irritated, and frustrated when and as I feel that I am being disturbed, and that I am not anymore able to focus my attention on what it is that I am doing; within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others as disturbing, and look at others as being the cause of my experience – and to not look within me at what thoughts I am accepting and allowing, and how it is that I am participating in this moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated, annoyed, and frustrated when and as I spend much time together with other human beings, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disturbed, to feel that others are intruding, to feel that I can’t get my peace of mind, to feel that I am being compromised in my presence because others simply do not move, and express themselves as I want and desire them to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire that others are to express, move, and direct themselves in my environment so that I don’t hear them, so that I don’t see them, thinking that this is a solution so that I won’t anymore experience myself as angry, and frustrated; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is not a solution because I am not dealing with, and walking with the core point, and the core issue; which is that I am not being self-honest, and I am not pushing myself to walk through my mind and integrate, and align myself here fully and completely with and as the physical; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to walk through my irritations, and frustrations; too look specifically at what it is that triggers these points and then remove, and correct these through self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed, irritated and frustrated, when I am emerged in a particular activity, and then someone comes and calls for my attention; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am being disturbed and that I then have the right to become pissed off, and angry; because apparently this other person disturbed me, and this other person made it more difficult for me to focus, concentrate, and remain here with and as breath, and with and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think perceive, and believe that when I become angry because I feel disturbed, that this because of the point that I feel disturbed me, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s not about the point that I feel disturbed me, but that it’s about me and my relationship towards focus, and concentration, and towards immersing myself in particular activities; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I immerse myself into points in my world, to do so without remaining aware and present here – but instead loose myself walk the point energetically instead of remaining here as breath – relaxed, comfortable, and present

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed, irritated, and frustrated when and as I wake up in the morning, and hold unto the belief that this is because I don’t like to be disturbed in the morning, I like to have it be peaceful around me, and to feel like I am able to relax, and that there is no point in my environment that calls for me attention; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated, and annoyed when and as there is a point arising in my world that requires direction, instead of realizing that I am able to move, and direct myself in this world – yet still remain stable, present, and relaxed; and that it’s not about what I do – but who I am within and as what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be left alone when and as I wake up, and to remain in my isolation, and not have to face anyone, or deal with anyone, and to think that “this is just the way I am” – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding, that this is a particular mind-system that is obviously completely limiting me; because in holding unto this point I am making each morning out to be this difficult, hard, and strenuous point, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am creating the point to be strenuous – I am making my morning difficult, I am making it though, and hard to be in my body; and as such I am able to assist and support myself to change my experience of myself in the morning so that I am not dependent upon energy to move and decide who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a different person in the morning than what I am during the rest of the day, and to feel that in the morning I must be left alone, and I must get my space, and I must able to do what I want to do, because apparently I need that to function properly, and to be able to make decisions, and move myself within and as this world; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, and suppress myself as my natural expression – thinking, perceiving, and believing, that I need someone, or something else, to tell me who I am; such as energy – believing that I need energy to decide who I am in the morning; instead of accepting and allowing myself to stand up within and as myself – and decide to walk my mornings here in stability, as breath, and to not have to have a particular ritual in the morning for me to be stable and not become annoyed, irritated, and frustrated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain the same person through-out my day; and thus when I wake up in the morning remain here within and as stability of breath, and walk with and as stability of breath – and to not make the morning a uncomfortable, and difficult experience that I must fight myself through; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to insist upon trying, and wanting to make the morning a hard experience, something difficult – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am able to decide that the morning is not to be hard, and difficult, and thus change my living expression of myself – and support myself to remain stable, effective, and here as I wake up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as anger, and frustration in the morning when I am facing other people, and feel that I am being pushed, and invaded, and that I am loosing my sense of self, and my privacy; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the character, and personality of being a loner, as thinking and believing that I can’t retain myself, and keep my stability, unless I am completely alone and isolated in my world, unless I don’t have any other relationship in my world but the one with myself; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that it’s not about what I do, or where I am; but who I am

When and as I see that I am going into anger, and frustration in the morning as I wake up, because I feel I have no privacy, and that I am not left alone as much as I desire and want; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t require and need to be isolated, and to be left alone, and to be alone in order to be stable, and effective, here, as I wake up in the morning – I just need ME and to make a decision as to WHO I AM; as such I commit myself to make the decision that I AM HERE as I wake up in the morning – and to simply apply myself within the same stability, and comfortableness that I walk throughout the rest of my day

When and as I see that I become angry, and frustrated because I feel that I am being disturbed, and uprooted from a particular project, or task that I’ve immersed myself into; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this point is obviously not supporting me – because in this reality I can’t expect to always be left alone, and thus becoming angry each time a event occurs that must be directed here, which means that I can’t remain immersed in a point, it’s not a very practical application to hold unto; as such I commit myself to breath – and to direct the situation that is here without becoming angry or frustrated – and within this allowing myself to immerse and get back out – within and as breath – effortlessly – here

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Day 44: Tips, or no tips?

Driving a taxi a re-occurring event is that I will receive some tips – and sometimes I receive good tips, and other times none at all – often my participation with the person do not influence them that much as whether they will give tips or not, because most have already decided and follow a already established pattern.

Now, the point I want to write about is a reaction that comes up just before the moment that I am to receive, or not to receive tips – meaning – just before the moment when the customer is to pay. When the customer stretches over, and hands me the money – this is when I tend to go into a reaction of anticipatory anxiety – or excited anxiety; and when this reaction comes up within me – I tend to react to this react in a fear of that this reaction will be seen by the customer and then they will feel uncertain, or decide to not tip me after all.

Thus – looking deeper at this point – what does it show me? It shows me an addiction to me – and that I am holding unto a slight excitement each time that I am about to receive money – as if money is some type of a drug that will give me more than what I had before.

I mean – it’s fascinating – I listened to this eqafe interview before that was done by a person that lived out his life as a homeless – and he shared his observations in relation to when he was begging, and how people reacted to that; and one point that he noticed was that human-beings tended to not want to give away their money because this was their access to “experience” so to speak – because with money – they could manifest all those vividly colored imaginations, and hopes in the mind into reality – and for a moment experience themselves empowered, strong, and satisfied.

This is what I am doing as well – and I am able to see that when I do receive tips, I have this thought come up within me that: “now I can go and take a coffee, or buy something to eat – because I won’t waste any money doing it” – I mean it’s fascinating – even if hadn’t received tips I’d still be able to go and buy a coffee, or something to eat – and I still wouldn’t have “wasted” money so to speak – because I would’ve gotten something practical, and necessary in return – such as a coffee, or something to eat.

So, I am able to see that what kicks in during these small moments of receiving tip – that is my greed, and miser-character – because I’ve noticed that I do have a tendency to be a miser when it comes to money, and feel good/safe about saving, and protecting my money – and feel uncertain, worrisome, and nervous about spending money; so when I receive those tips, or have the possibility to receive those tips – I react because then I go into my money-character – as my pre-programmed way of living as trying to protect myself through accumulating money.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as the miser-character when I am about the receive tip – as becoming excited, and experiencing anticipatory anxiety – feeling that “this is it” – now I can either enlarge my fortunes, or I can become robbed of my fortunes; and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to money – and to believe that when I save, and that when I have much money – that I am protected and allowed to feel safe, and secure – and instead of realizing, and understanding that it’s a conditional safety, and security – because as soon as my money are going – I experience myself unsafe again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a miser in relation to money – wherein I will not supply myself with points that I need, and that are effective, and useful for me to have – because I will instead think about how much money I have, how much my savings are worth, how well I will feel after I’ve purchased this product – and within this I will compromise myself because I am not looking at what I need but instead at numbers, fantasies, and ideas in my mind – that are not relevant to living here in physical reality – equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not treat myself with a coffee, or something to eat – when I am able to afford such a point, and when I see that I’d like such a point in a moment – I mean – what good are money when I am saving them, simply for the sake of feeling safe, because I have much savings – I mean – it’s insane; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and bring myself back here – and re-align money to be a practical point in my world, and reality that I utilize, and use to support myself effectively in my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself lost into a state of fear, as fearing loosing money – within this becoming blind to the opportunities that are in my life – and to the possibilities that are in my life – because everything that I am thinking about is that I don’t want to loose money – while obviously – there are severely more important things to care about, and to consider in my world – than my fear of loosing money – I mean – money is meant to be used to create a effective day- to-day living – it’s not meant to be saved in some account for no purpose – I mean – that’s what you do when you expect to live for 100 of years – and only live to survive without any form of courage to make this life something extraordinary; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push through this fear – as the miser-character – and allow myself to see money as a tool and not as something mysterious that I must fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am protecting myself by protecting my money – not realizing that my money is not me – but money is merely a invention that does not need to have food, water, and effective physical care – I mean – money is a so to speak – dead object – and I am not that – as such – when I protect my money I am not protecting myself – because protecting myself would imply that I actually care about my human physical body, and about my physical surroundings – and make these the best that they can possibly be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money protects me – and that the more money I have – the safer I will be – and the more I am able to let go, express, and enjoy myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is a faulty, and irrational idea/understanding of money – because money is not like a gun proof west that I put on – it’s merely a point that allows me to participate in this world, and reality effectively – and in some dimensions do actually support me to be safe in this world; yet – within this it must be understood that the primary point that determine my reality – as after all not money – but the human being dealing with, and using the money – which is ME; and thus – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that thinking that money will secure my future, and my safety – is really a point of blame – and simply shoving the responsibility of my life unto money – instead of me taking responsibility for myself, and my life – and making sure that I am effective in my day-to-day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a anticipatory anxiety when I see that there is a possibility that I will get new money – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that when I receive money – my life will change – I will experience myself more fulfilled, and able to deal with this world – and I will not experience as much fear and uncertainty – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath – bring myself back here – and understand that money is merely a physical object – that has nothing to do with my general movement – I mean – as to the point of – WHO I AM within and as my daily physical movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not allowed to buy a cup of coffee, or some snack outside when I am driving – thinking that this is a “unnecessary expense” – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I’ve created a very limited definition of the word necessary – wherein I’ve in essence abused myself through thinking that “no point is necessary” – and that I am in essence able to cope with bread, and water – and that I don’t require anything more but that point of bread and water – and within this I forgive myself that have not accepted and allowed myself expand my understanding of what is necessary – to also see that it’s necessary for me to live a dignified life – meaning that I do have access to these small points of comfort – and that in a way these are necessary for an effective life; so as such – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop my fear of spending money – and to stop my miser/saver-character – and instead realize that money is not something here to make me FEEL safe – but something that is here for me to use to support myself to live an effective daily physical life – here

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am compromising myself, and not buying something that I need, and that would assist, and support me in my daily living application – because I instead want to “save the money” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that saved money are really money that aren’t used – they are money stuffed away for a rainy day and as such in essence an attempt to escape death – not understanding that death is certain – and that as such – money is to be stored away merely to have them stored away – I mean it’s cool if there is a specific purpose for the storing – such as buying a expensive product that self requires; but merely saving for the sake of saving – I mean what is that? As such I commit myself to stop saving for the sake of saving – and instead use my money when I have access to money – and that there is a point I’d like to be that would enhance me and my expression of myself in daily living

When and as I see that I am going into and as a state of anticipatory anxiety as I am about to possibly receive tips – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that money doesn’t mean anything – unless I am here effective to direct and move money in my world – as such – money is secondary – and what is of primary importance is who I am; thus reacting to the point of money is really irrational because it’s giving money more importance than what it deserves and not looking at what is of real value, and importance – which is the effectiveness of my daily application in self-honesty; as such I commit myself to focus on myself – and to place value on myself – and stop valuing money more than me living effectively breath, by breath here

When and as I see that I am reacting, and going into a state of excitement, and happiness, as I’ve received money as tips – thinking that now I can buy something nice for myself, such as a coffee, or something to eat; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that I mean – I do already have money – so why must I receive tips from someone for me to allow me to give myself a treat in the form of coffee, or something to eat? I mean it makes no sense – and it comes from this miser-character, or saving-character – as valuing the point of saving simply because it feels good – not understanding the physical implications of saving in comparison to spending – I mean – in spending money I can actually bring forth products into my reality that is of benefit to me – in saving money – I mean the money is really just laying there not being used – as such not really having a purpose what-so-ever; as such I commit myself to stop fearing spending money – and to stop judging spending money, and glorifying saving money – and instead look at the practical implications of these points – and act in such a way that the best result comes about

When and as I see that I am going into a state of excitement as I receive money, feeling that I’ve now “grown” a bit – because I’ve been given these money – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I’ve not grown – I’ve not changed – the only thing that has happened is that I now hold some more money in my pockets – I mean physically nothing has changed at all – and I mean this makes it fascinating to ask – what is this excitement – is it even valid? I mean – small sum of money and I become excited – what is that about? And as such I see that I’ve placed this completely unrealistic value on money – as believing that money will in some way save me – and make safe in life – while that is absolutely not so – because at the end of the day – I stand responsible for my effectiveness in living – and as such – whether I am safe, or not – is only to a certain extent depending on money – but mostly depending on my ability, and clarify in self-direction in my day- to-day living; as such I commit myself to stop glorifying money – and I instead realize that what’s important is my daily physical movement and application of myself – one and equal as breath – that is the key to effective living – not how much money I have.

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Day 34: Working With What Is Real

In the last blog – which you can read HERE – I took a part nervousness from the perspective of seeing what positive experiences I’ve connected to me for example standing in front of my class holding a presentation, or writing my exams – and the reason for this is to remove my idea(L) that I have of myself – as to who I believe/want to be – and instead get down to the nitty gritty of working with how I in-fact experience myself when it is that I stand before many people, or I do my exams.

Thus – today I am going to work my actual physical experience when I do exams, or hold a presentation – and I will also simultaneously walk the point of stopping conflict within me – in seeing that I don’t have to fight the real experience of me because it apparently doesn’t coincide with my idea-experience of myself as how I think I should experience myself – I mean – there is no need to fight what I already exist and live as – instead it’s to understand, and get to know the real me – and then place myself in a position wherein I am able to actually and for real correct myself.

NervousnessBlogSo – how do I really experience myself in these situations? Well – I become physically tense, and go into nervousness – which results in me not being able to effectively deal with the situation. One of the reasons for this is because I don’t know who to be – I don’t know how to look – I don’t know how to present myself – I have no real foundation so to speak. This is though something I’ve already worked with when I’ve prepared myself for my exams – I’ve actually structured a systematic structure as a way which I am to answer questions – and I this was effective to keep me more stable in the moment of writing my exams. For example – in my structure I stated that I must read slowly, and be focused on the words that are written on the question I am given – I must not jump, and stress through the initial stage of reading the question because then I will miss important information; and as I applied this on my exams – I was actually much more stable.

So – establishing a foundation – a MEness – that is important because that is something I currently lack – and I see that this will be done through writing out a structured way as to how to walk the point, who I am within in, and what specifically I am going to do – and then walking this physically.

A second prominent point that comes up is fear of the unknown – because I can’t really prepare myself completely when I am facing an event such as an exam, or a presentation – because there is always that small point of a uncertainty – a probability that something might go wrong, and that I then as this happen – won’t be prepared to deal with the consequences effectively.

Thus – another important point to establish is self-trust – because I see that in standing as self-trust – I will not fear the unknown as I will trust myself to direct myself through the point of the unknown and deal with any situation that might emerge.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown, and distrust myself in the face of the unknown – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to read a situation – and understand how a situation might respond to me – and what I must say, or do for the situation to respond to me in a way that I experience as being positive – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t trust myself – and that when I trust myself something will go wrong, and I won’t be able to correct the mistakes that flows from this wrongness

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having information as to what will happen if I say, or do a certain thing – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being blind so to speak, in not being able to calculate the consequences of my actions – and how others will see, and experience me – when it is that I act and live in particular ways – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, and perceive that I require information, knowledge, and being able to calculate future consequences in order to be “safe” and trust myself

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that trusting myself is something that happens to me when I am able to know what is going to happen in the future – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone me trusting myself, and prevent me from trusting myself in thinking and believing that I must have something more – I must get something more – I must achieve something more – and I must wait before someone give me a permission that I am able to trust myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not BREATH – be HERE – and to get myself moving within and as oneness and equality as my human physical body – and stop waiting for someone, or something else to save me before I trust myself here

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that I am not yet mature enough to trust myself – and that trusting myself is something that comes, and happens with age – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of my fear, and my anxiety – and my worry, and my nervousness – and to see, realize, and understand that self-trust does not develop through waiting – but through me deciding, and willing myself to develop self-trust – through actually living and walking in such a way that I am able to trust that who I am is what is best for all – and that I will not compromise myself and fall prey to experiences, and illusions of and as the mind

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that I need, and require someone else to tell me that I am ready to trust myself – and that I am ready to go – so to speak – instead of accepting and allowing myself to say to myself that – hey! I am ready when I decide to be ready! And as such – I am able to decide here that I trust myself – and to stop fearing the unknown – to stop fearing trusting myself – and simply do it – and as such apply the statement of “just do it!” – because really that is what it all comes down to – to actually make the decision and walk the decision – and in-fact do it!

Self-commitment statements

1. When and as I feel, and experience that I can’t trust myself – because something will go wrong when I trust myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – the fact is that what I experience is – a experience! Thus – a experience indicates that what is coming up within me is coming from the mind – automatically activated without my direct movement, and decision – and thus it’s not trustworthy; as such I commit myself to not trust the experience of myself that I can’t trust myself because something will go wrong – and I commit myself to act – and decide to trust myself here in this moment

2. When and as I see, and notice that I experience fear trusting myself – because I think that I can’t trust myself if I am not able to know the consequences of my actions beforehand – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I can decide to trust myself regardless of the situation that I am in – or the point that I am facing – simply because it’s about SELF-trust – and not about OTHER-trust – and thus I commit myself to decide to trust myself – and see that it’s only me that can decide and walk this point for myself here

3. When and as I see, and notice that I think, and experience that I must wait with trusting myself – because I must have something more, achieve something more, and get someone to allow me to trust myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – it’s about me taking a decision and trusting myself – thus I can’t wait for my environment to change me – I must stand as the catalyst – I must stand as the start – and I must take the first step and not allow myself to wait anymore; as such I commit myself to practice trusting myself as a self-decision in the moment – that I walk regardless of what it is that I am facing here in this moment

4. When it is that I see I go into and as a belief that I can’t trust myself because I am not yet mature enough, and that I can’t direct myself to trust myself because this is something that happens with time, and as I grow older – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I mean – to believe that I will be able to trust myself more with time is simply an illusion – because look at most old people –they’ve also no self-trust and they’ve walked an entire lifetime in this world; as such I commit myself to stop using this excuse – to bring myself back here – and to see that I have to decide to trust myself – I have to stop waiting – and I have to actually do it because no one will do it for me

5. When and as I see that I am waiting to trust myself, because I feel that I have to have someone that tells me that – “okay, now you can trust yourself!” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this point of deciding to trust myself is something that I must give to myself, and nobody will say to me ever that “now I can trust myself” and even if they do – the decision is still MINE because there is only ME inside of ME – thus only ME that can decide who I am – and what I will live, and stand as; as such I commit myself to make the decision to trust myself HERE and without waiting and postponing

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2012 Family Law and the Nature of Marriage Revealed

I’m at the moment studying family law, and more specifically marriage law, and within this I’ve found some interesting and revealing points about marriage, as what the nature of marriage actually exists as.

Now the most revealing point as to what marriage in-fact is, because it’s not at all about love as you’ll come to see, is found within the structure of the marriage law. It consists of about 20 chapters, each containing some 10 paragraphs, and of these 20 chapters almost half of them is about the topic of how money is to be divided between the partners when they break up, and how the partners should support each-other with money, if for example one of them has been at home with the kids a lot, and as such by the time of the break up, do not have a education, or a stable income. Most of the law is as such regulating the point of how money should be divided, and shared between the partners – both in marriage, and as well when the marriage is broken up. This is revealing, because it shows that the actual point as to why people go into a marriage is not because they love each other, or care for each other, but because of the financial security it provides.

It’s also fascinating to see that lot’s of the regulations that exists in and around this topic of money is about how one of the partners is able to protect their personal wealth from being given to the other partner if the marriage would end.

What does then show?

It shows that even though it’s in this world promoted that marriage is about love, and care for each-other – it’s in essence a mechanism of survival – wherein two beings come together to as such have a financial stability. The marriage law reveals the true nature of why, and how we form relationships, and why continue to be in these relationships, and what is in-fact controlling our decisions in terms of who we select as our partner, and how we behave when we break up with our partner – it’s all about the fear of survival, which is expressed as the fear of loosing money, and the desire to have more money.

Desteni has pointed this out several times, that the physical relationships we form in our world, are almost never about anything else than our survival, and that the curvy women will seek out the males that has the most money, as such compromising themselves in order to survive; ending up with a male that they might not even enjoy to be with, only because of the point of assuring a consistent and continuous influx of money.

There is as such no real love in this world, there is only fear, and the attempt by people to escape this fear, as this gruesome and brutal reality through forming relationships, through marrying and promising each-other to financially support each other to the day that they die. That isn’t a cool starting point from which to form a actual, supportive and beneficial relationships – it’s instead a starting point from which will flow compromise, seclusion and isolation – as we give up ourselves to our fears, and live out our life’s in complete prettification of what would happen if we’d one day be without money.

Those that profess love, light and happiness – and the movies that presents the dream of the perfect marriage, are in-fact the representation of how we within ourselves lie to ourselves, as we think that what we do, and who we decide to be with – we’re doing from the starting point of love – and that we within all of this are happy; when in-fact and in actuality we making our decisions from a starting point of fear of survival and nothing else.

Within forming these marriages, we might for a while be able to escape our fears, and for a moment attain financial stability, and we as such feel safe and secure – yet the cause, and origin of our fear isn’t ever dealt with or directed, but left as it is – and this cause and origin of our fears is found in how our current money system functions.

Our current money system is a brutal monster, that allows for no one to live for what they actually love – as what we for example find immensely pleasurable doing, or being with a person that we find expand our application of ourselves, and make us more effective in daily living; no in order to exist in this reality, all decisions that are made must be made from within and as the consideration of money, no one can as such live “for themselves” as in exploring who they actually are, and how they in-fact experience themselves, as all this must be given up in order to survive.

We’ve created a system that only supports the fear of survival, as the result of not having enough money in this current system will have the consequence of death – without money you’re nothing – no food – no home – no security – no nothing – how can we then even expect that there is supposed to be any real love in this world? There can’t be.

To form marriages is but a escape, a small and isolated, secluded group-experience within this world, wherein we for a moment feel that we can relax – at the cost of giving all of ourselves up, as who we actually are – but it’s no solution. It’s not a solution because the children born in the marriage will face the same problem that the parents faced as they came of age, and realized that without finding a partner in this world, they would be far more vulnerable to the ruthlessness of our current money system, and as such the children will eventually come to follow in the footsteps of their parents, as in compromising themselves for money, in order to survive.

This entire world is the outflow of each of us individually compromising ourselves in order to survive, wherein we suppress ourselves, our individual self-expression, and we abandon our integrity, and our principles, just so that we can feel safe and survive. And because no one is willing to stand up, and face their fears, and to walk into the system alone, and bring forth a solution that would finally remove the very origin of our fears, as our fear of not having enough money to survive – the world remains at is it has remained during generations before us.

Though, we can’t let this go on any longer – human beings can’t continue to suppress, hide, and devalue themselves through accepting and allowing fear to be their god. Within accepting and allowing fear to be our god we give up upon so much, we in-fact give up upon everything, because we give up upon ourselves.

Let’s stop for a second to imagine how this world would be if money wouldn’t anymore be a issue, ask yourself the question what you would do if money wouldn’t anymore be the key to your survival, because you survival would be unconditionally given to you, and not only your survival, but all that which you need and require to really live, and become the best that you can be; would you still be living the same life? Would you still be in the same marriage? Would you still work at the same job?

See how much we are in-fact slaves – yet the slavery from past times is now only made to be more hidden, more deceptive, wherein the illusions of love, freedom, and happiness are chanted again, and again, and again, only to seclude ourselves from the obvious truth – that we’re in-fact slaves!

The proof that you’re a slave rests with your money, that is your chain, but it’s also the key – because when we change the nature of money, from always lacking, to there always being plentiful of it, for everyone in equal amounts, then suddenly we’ve made our chain into a supportive foundation upon which we’re able to stand, and explore this reality, and ourselves in this reality, living the question of who we’d like to be, and how we’d like to experience ourselves in this life, without any fear lurking in the back of our minds.

See – without money you’re nothing – and with money you’re able to fulfill all your dreams – as such realize the simplicity of the solution as implementing a new money system in this world, as a equal money system – wherein you would be given all the money you require, to buy for yourself all that which you need and require to live a perfect life. This would change everything, exactly everything – and suddenly we’d have no more marriages being formed from the starting point of fear of survival, but we’d instead have agreements being formed as a self-willed decision by two individuals to walk with and support each other in this life, to become the best that they’re able to be.

The marriage law reveals the nature of this reality, as fear of survival, which has the outflow of us compromising ourselves into relationships built upon fear – yet the marriage law also shows us the solution to our problems – it’s all about money – all about giving all that which they require in order to live effectively.

So – let’s not become trapped in our fears, and seek to continue the legacy of our parents, as in seeking out a partner in order to survive and escape from our fear – but let’s see to it that we manifest a world, and a reality that is best for all – where all have all that they require and need, so that we never again place ourselves in a position where we make a decision out of fear of survival, as the fear of not having enough money.

Sex in Relationships

Sex also plays a part in who we experience ourselves attracted to, and decide to create a relationship with – you can learn more on that topic through listening to this: