Tag Archives: self

Day 424: Big Changes In Small Steps

There is this notion that change must imply something big, massive – one decisive revolution – one impactful movement that puts everything on the line. What I have noticed within myself is that  this belief about how change takes place often has discouraged me from pushing to make the apparently insignificant changes in my life. When I have considered changing these aspects, or contributing to society in a small way, by for example engaging in a political group, I have thought that there is no use – it will only bring about so little – there is simply no meaning to it – hence I will not do anything at all.

This kind of thinking shows us two belief systems. One of them is that we alone are too small and insignificant to make any kind of lasting impact in the world. The other is that what we do and how we live in our day-to-day life does not matter – and that we have to become president, famous, a star, to have any form of influence. The result of living out these belief systems is that we do not do anything at all – and that we do not push for the small improvements in our life – because we believe them to be of no worth. We do not even push ourselves to correct our immediate relationships – because what is the use? It will not create any lasting change anyway.

And it is interesting as well to observe how people that have lived so called successful and influential life’s, many times have had massive issues in their private relationships. They have only been able to live their passion to improve and expand outwardly into the system, and not been able to share this process with their close ones. And many times the personal hell they created not only for themselves but also for those around them caused deep ripples. Hence – it is important to remember that all types of change for the better are important – not only those happening out in the world system.

The key is to stop valuing and comparing the movement to improve, to empower and to change. We have to understand that each and every step forward that is taken is needed no matter how small it was. And that the interesting thing about change is that it takes place in the small, in the parts that are barely noticeable, and then one day, the small parts have together formed so much momentum, that what seems to be a big and overwhelming change takes place over night. However what has been missed are the small, apparently insignificant actions, that brought about that shift. And this can unfortunately go both ways. We are also able to accumulate acts that are negative and that diminish us – and then after a while – we notice the destructive end result without being able to see how we got into such a bad situation. This is the magic of accumulation in the small.

The same principle of accumulation can be found in how what we think will eventually influence what we speak, and that what we speak will eventually influence how we act, and that our actions will eventually become our habits and our general character. In when we are at the end of such a process – it seems as if it has always been that way. For example – we have apparently always been lazy and there is now nothing we can do about it because it is such a big and general characteristic to change. However creating that laziness was a process that initially started in the small, in the minuscule, in the barely noticeable, with apparently innocent acceptances and allowances, that then got bigger, bigger and bigger.

Hence – anyone that feels that change – whether in the system or personally – is too much – and because of that does not do anything – remember that change takes place in the small and manageable. Change takes place in our sphere of influence – and unless we are HERE – PRESENT – and WILLING to act we will miss our moments of opportunity – because you will have opportunities – every day to take the path you desire for yourself, your fellow man and our common future.


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Day 394: Creating My Self-Definition

Last week I visited a convention and met with many new people that are walking a similar career path as I am. It was interesting because it revealed a pattern of comparison and inferiority within me. I noticed how I was comparing myself to others, in particular looking at the perceived status and importance of my job in relation to that of others. I had thoughts enter my mind that I should have decided to do something differently and that I should have ventured into a more lucrative and desired career. I should have apparently moved to a bigger city and gotten a job with one of the major employers – because then – I would have been successful.

When these thoughts came up – I took a couple of moments and applied self-forgiveness – and I realized some interesting points. Firstly – I can never really enjoy, explore and expand naturally if I am continuously focused on what others are doing. Because where am I in that equation? I will never be able to acquire a sense of ease, purpose, fulfillment and direction, if my inner vision is blurred by the movements of others. I need to have my eyes set on myself. I need to have my focus fastened in my life – otherwise – I will go astray – and I will start chasing mirages – things I believe to be important but that really are not.

And how many of us live our lives this way? We determine what we want by looking at what others want – and we determine what is important and what is not by looking at what is important for someone else. How can we ever live a meaningful life if we are a copycat?

I have realized that this pattern partly originates from inferiority. Somehow I have determined on a deep level within me that I am less than others – and that I thus need to achieve a position of status and value in the eyes of others in order to equalize that inferiority into a equality. And because I am inferior – apparently I need someone else to tell me and show me what I need to do to reach an equality. It makes no sense at all – and it creates the consequence that I will live my life to reach a point only to prove a point that nobody else cares about – not even myself.

When I chase after an idea I will forget about myself and what is important to me. And to me – on a deep level – I do not care about status – I know it is only a dream. What I care about is being of service to others. I find it enjoyable, rewarding and satisfying to genuinely care for and help someone else with their problem and to be a support for them in difficult times. To achieve a position in society is a learned desire – something that I have copied from others – and when I look at the point intently – I can see that it also has to do about satisfying my parents.

If I look back at my life – a tendency that I have had is to choose my direction haphazardly and mostly by looking at what my parents deemed to be the best route for me. It is not that I lacked interests and passions – I have always had many of those – rather what I lacked was the courage and the self-value to follow my interests and passions – to stick with them and make them part of my life on a bigger level. For example – when I was to choose the orientation of my upper secondary school – I did not look within me to determine my direction. I did not do any particular research. I settled for one of the established schools and choose the orientation that my parents had suggested. And it worked out fine – however – I find it problematic that I did not engage in the decision on a deeper level – and that I allowed myself to be satisfied with the ‘normal’ route that it seemed as if everyone else also decided upon – and that I choose it without any deeper self-reflection.

It is fascinating when I look back – because I can see that one of my issues was that I did not take the time to establish my self-definition. In many respects – I was a blank slate – and in such a condition – it was more comfortable to follow the example of everyone else and do what everyone else seemed to find the correct way to do it. To create my own path would have meant a lot of research and self-reflection – because understanding and seeing what is best for oneself is not something that just happens – it must be created. And if I bring this point of understanding back to my current life – I can see that this is something I have not done for myself. I have not yet established a life-plan – the direction I want to take in life because it is best for me. Creating such a plan would require me to firstly establish my self definition – who I am and who I want to become.

Thus – what I can learn from the reactions I experienced at this convention is that I have not yet clearly established my self-definition. This is something that I will put time into and refine for myself – so that I can stop desiring and wanting what I perceive others want – and instead walk the direction I have decided upon for myself and that I know is best for myself.


Day 433: Chasing Self vs. Self-Creation

I listened to this interview a couple of days ago: Chasing Self vs Self Creation – Atlanteans – Part 476 – and it was very enlightening. Especially one point opened up within me, and that is making work/career something more than just being about money.

In the interview it is among other things explained that we tend to make work/career all about money. We go to work for the money, we remain in that bubble throughout the day,  ‘working for money’ – and then – we eventually get home and feel as if we have ‘wasted’ our entire day because it has just been about money. However, it is suggested to make work something more – not only about money – but to utilize the office, the job, to grow and expand living skills, expressions, applications, to not accept and allow work to be only about survival.

I myself recently acquired my degree, and I have only been working full time now for about two years. However, I have already seen how work have weighed down upon me, become a problem, something that I am ‘forced to do’ and that my only escape are the weekends and the occasional vacation. And I see that this is a big problem for many. It is not uncommon for people to feel depressed, sad, bored, unsatisfied with their work and having to spend time in the office. Hence, changing who we are in relation to work, that will have a big effect in our lives, because working, that is something we will spend most of our time on. Hence, it makes sense that we should make work something supportive, something that assists us to grow, expand, and become MORE.

How am I then able to change my relationship to work so that it becomes a time where I can grow/expand/accumulate my process of self-creation?

What I see is that I can use my work to practice planning, structuring and to make sure that I follow through on my commitments. I can practice precision, specificity and attention to detail, by for example, making sure that I am focused and HERE in what I am doing. I can push myself to interact, to develop my social skills and learn to communicate clearly and effectively. I can develop movement, direction, leadership and decisiveness. I can practice placing myself in the shoes of others and learn to see the world their way, hence, live empathy, understanding and compassion. And I can investigate being fearless, having self-confidence and self-trust.

My work offers a multitude of opportunities – though I have to be HERE to see them. And I must make sure that it does not become about CHASING other than what is here in my life at the moment. It is never about something more, living life effectively is about creating and moving forward with what is already HERE. Thus, instead of looking forward to what is next, my main practice should be to ask myself: ‘Okay, what can I create with what is already here? How can I use the resources at my disposal to expand and live my full potential?’. And really, is chasing something more, not but an excuse to actually LIVE here fully?


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Day 430: What is Success?

When I look at what success means to me at the moment, I am able to see that it is something I define through comparison. To me currently, success is relative, and it is based upon what others think are successful, and then, through comparing myself to where others are, I accordingly position myself on the ‘success’ thermometer. However, I find that this definition is problematic, because by defining success in relation to others, I miss myself.

Hence, if I would slow myself down, and look at what success if for myself, I see that success is something very personal. What is success for me, might not be success for another – because success – has to do with my intent – and what I want to create and build in my life. Thus, in-fact, I can never become successful if I only keep striving towards that which I believe others see as being successful, as I have not even then, actually defined for myself, what is success?

Hence, if I bring the point back to myself, and look at success, what does this word entail to me?

The way I see success, it implies, actually walking through a difficulty/challenge, or walking a path, a process of creation, where I have a set goal and direction, and success, would be the point where I am actually able to reach this point. Practically speaking, success to me would mean walking this process of birthing life from the physical, diligently, consistently and really change myself. It would mean that I follow my inner voice and walk a life that is ME – and not a life where I try to be what everyone else wants to be. Further, success would be a me, doing something with my life that can contribute and support the lives of others, and where I hence, support the growth of success in a crowd of people. Further, a life filled with animals, nature and movement, that would be success to me – a life that I have created for myself because I have seen that it is best for me – I have seen that it is what I genuinely want – that is success to me.

What everyone else is doing is immaterial, and if there is a movement of jealousy or comparison within me, it is indicating that I am still not clear on what success is to me! Then I am still clouded, and really, without my own principle and direction. And that is also interesting, that when my head turns, and the comparisons start to emerge, it is showing me that I have not yet decided, I have not yet committed, I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be intimate with myself, and actually within that, commited to a direction that I want for myself. Thus, a part of success has to do with self-respect, self-awareness, and self-value – because unless I see value in myself and what I want for me – how can I ever make the decision to create and live a life for myself – that I want for and as myself – as successful?

Thus, I will sit down for myself and write out what is success for me more clearly – so that I make sure – that when I walk and live the word success – it is a word that I create and live for and as myself – and not something I do to be like everyone else.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define success in separation from myself, to see success, and strive for success, through wanting to do what everyone else defines and sees as successful – instead of asking myself – and looking within myself – what I want to do with my life – what I want to create – what is success for me? What does it mean to achieve for me? What does it mean to make something meaningful and great out of myself and my life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure success according to how I perceive others see and define success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for example – strive to have the perfect career – because everyone else seems to value that – strive to achieve and have the perfect home – because everyone else seems to value that – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself – to forget about myself – to not look within myself –  because I am too busy worrying – fearing – creating experiences about what others are or are not doing with themselves and their lives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a successful life, in the eyes of others, instead of wanting a successful life for and as myself – and thus I see, realize and understand how important it is for me to define – what is success? What does it mean to be successful for ME? How can I achieve and create success in my life in a way that is BEST for me and thus BEST for ALL?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure myself through the eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, and be intimate with myself, and embrace the point within me of creating a life and a future that is in alignment with what is best for me and not how I believe everyone else wants to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others, and want to achieve that I perceive others want to achieve, so that I can feel that in comparison with others, I am better than them, and my life is better than theirs – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what constitutes a excellent and enjoyable life for me? What constitutes success for me? What does it mean for me to live life fully? And hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here – and bring the word SUCCESS back to and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others, or see myself trying to investigate/figure out what to do, through looking at what others are doing, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that I will not be able to live success, to experience success and have success unless I redefine and create success for and as myself, through asking myself, what is success in-fact, and thus, not trying to achieve and create success in a state of competition and fear – and hence I commit myself to investigate and create success in my life and for myself and do it as an expression of myself – as something that is genuine and real – and that I do because I see it is best – not something I do because I fear I will miss out otherwise


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Day 417: Challenging Status Quo

There is this tendency within me, and seemingly humans in general, to accept what is currently here as the unchangeable truth. Let us take money for example and how it functions currently. Each time I consider and look at money, I do that from the premise of how it is working currently; thus in my mind – I am limited in how I am looking at an relating both to myself and this world – because – I accept what is here without question and more importantly – without seeing, realizing and understanding that I have the power to change it.

I would say, that this tendency of mine, to accept what is in my external reality, is a mirror image of how I relate to patterns on a internal level. Hence, what I want to develop within myself is the skill to actively question, reconsider and assess both myself and my external reality. Is what is here currently the BEST it can be? Am I currently the BEST that I can be? And if that is not the case, then what can I do to bring myself to that state of being the BEST that I can be? What patterns within myself have I recognized, however accepted and allow to remain as is, because, I believe that they cannot be changed?

It might be that we feel safe with the status quo. When everything is as it used to be, then at least, we have a form of safety in that. However, why not instead strive to make ourselves, and our lives the best that they can be? What is it that stands in our way but ourselves?

I will push myself to actively challenge and question both my inner and outer reality, and simultaneously look at solutions that I can apply to bring through what is BEST.


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Day 361: Experiencing Real Life Versus Walking Process

With process, I have noticed that it can be easy to create a rift between on the one hand walking process and on the other hand, enjoying and living a fulfilling life – where the belief that is created is that these two points are mutually exclusive. In the beginning of my process, this rift was more pronounced, however as I have continued to walk my process, what I have begun to do is to INTEGRATE my process into my DAILY LIVING.

What I have seen is the following: There are certain tools that must be used to walk process effectively, among these we find writing self to freedom, self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements. In that way, process is confined to certain physical positions and movements. We must either sit behind a computer or with pen and paper in order to write, and sounding self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements, that usually requires that we are in alone. Those are the only parts of process that are bound to a certain time and space – because the REAL CHANGE process – that is walked IN daily life.

Thus, it does not make sense to separate walking process from living within and participating in our daily routines, walking our hobbies, interacting with friends, traveling, exploring, and experiencing the various opportunities of expansion that exists within life. Process should be a part of life. What I have seen, realized and understood is that if there is a sense of resistance/discomfort towards process, and feeling in a way, trapped by challenge that process represents, then there is a separation between walking process and the rest of our life – and the solution thus is to integrate process into all parts of our life.

Integrating process into our lives is simple, yet it requires us to be aware, ready and present – and open to challenge ourselves and how we have decided to live. This way of looking at and approaching process can open up new worlds to explore. For example, going to work, such a menial point, mostly seen as something undesirable, can become a way to get to know self and expand. It is thus all about WHO WE ARE within what we do – not about what we do.

This also relates closely with the point of future obsession and how it can be easy to get stuck in projections of the future and loose touch with the present. In-fact, it is not that important what we decide to do, what is important is WHO WE ARE – what we decide to do and who we decide to be within ourselves. Process, self-creation, self-expansion, and moving beyond what we considered possible for ourselves can thus be a integral part of all areas of our lives – and that is also the solution to stop separation – to stop the constant experience of conflict and separation that other wise reigns within us as we try to reach and attain the most luscious pasture that we can graze.

Thus, walking process is never something that is easy. It requires effort, dedication, diligence and movement – HOWEVER – we do not have to limit process to only certain actions and parts of our lives. Rather, process should be HERE regardless of where we are at, with process meaning that we at any given moment strive to improve, further, drive, and move ourselves to become MORE, BETTER and reach our utmost POTENTIAL.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my future, my purpose, my direction very, very seriously, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about life HERE, and that it is never about what I do, it is about WHO I AM – and that I can do all the apparent right things yet never move an inch within myself – because I have not actually moved WITHIN myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring my attention/focus/direction back HERE to myself – and place my attention on WHO I AM – place my attention on self-development – self-creation – and self-expansion in every moment of breath – to look at my daily living and see the obvious points of expansion that I can take on and begin to push those

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that a consequence of placing attention on the future, of creating conflict in relation to the future, conflict in relation to what I should become, how I should be, how I will experience myself in the future, is that I will loose touch with the physical HERE – loose touch with what is important and significant – which is my daily movement and direction HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to live an interesting and fulfilling life if I make process part of my daily living – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that this is an illusion that I have created, a belief that my life will become less if I decide to integrate process as part of my life – while this is not true – and in-fact – only an excuse and a justification for me not to live and create fully – completely – and with all of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the more I integrate process into my daily living – the more I expand – the more I am able to see – the more fulfilled and stable I become – and in-fact – I miss out on nothing at all – life thus is not supposed to be separated from process – because what is life without the drive and push to change and move self to become the best self possible?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will loose myself if I make process a part of my daily living – a part of my every moment application – not seeing, realizing and understand – that I will not loose anything – but rather CREATE a new SELF – that will be able to walk through and do something worthwhile with life – instead of going through the motions and then ending up not doing anything at all

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself having resistance towards process and applying myself because I rather want to get on with my life and just experience it, I take a breath and bring myself back here – I see, realize and understand that this separation between process and life is an illusion, something that I have created in the belief that there is something more to be experienced but myself HERE – and thus in a way trying to run away from myself – and thus I commit myself to make process part of my everyday life – through integrating process in my life in moments and in parts of my life where I see that I must expand/move/direct myself – and in the parts where I see that I am already strong – by enhancing those strengths even more – thus actively making process a part of myself and my life


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Day 358: From Dreaming To Self-Creation

There is a big misconception in society. That dreams are meant to be followed and fulfilled, that dreams are something positive that we should have in our lives and that will motivate us to move forward. This is not true. In-fact, dreams most of the time cause a devolution to happen, instead of a evolution. The reasons for this are easy to see. Firstly, dreams are always created/experienced/felt within the mind. Hence, following and valuing dreams automatically causes a rift, where self gets separated from the physical living that is here. And instead of living, interacting, and expanding with what is HERE and REAL – self becomes consumed by the dream – and pursues a direction that is only based on this image.

It is similar to a drug addiction. The addict will be motivated by his urge to consume drugs and he will easily forget his reality in order to fulfill his desires, and according to the addict, what is of primary importance is to realize his addiction. In this state of mind, responsibilities, consideration and care for others as well as self, will be given secondary importance. The consequences of such a behavior is obvious – most of us have seen what drug addiction does to a human being if the addiction is allowed to continue for a prolonged time. And even though the addiction to dreams does not have the same visible and consequential outflows as drug addiction, dreaming still seriously impacts our ability to live effectively and consider the life of others.

However, there is another thing about dreams that is not understood. Dreams are not meant to be followed, in-fact, the function of dreaming is to be a way sign, a way to navigate and look at what is currently amiss within self as a living expression. The solution to dreaming is thus to learn to decode the dreams and see what they are showing about self and in that answer the question, what is missing within self that causes this dream to exist?

An example from my own life would be the following. I dream/desire to get a new power tool that would allow me to perform a new woodworking technique, and hence support me to expand and challenge myself in my hobby of woodworking. Looking at the content of the dream, the words that come through are NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE. Thus, what the dream is showing, is not that that I must have a new power tool. Rather, the dream indicates that I am not practicing living the words NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE in relation to my hobby of woodworking. And looking at my relationship with woodworking, I can see that this is true, and that instead of moving myself to take on new projects, I have accepted and allowed myself to wait, and hold back, believing that with the last project I finished, I was now allowed to feel satisfied with myself and put my woodworking hobby to the side for a moment.

The trick is thus to make the substance and essence of the dreams/desires that come up within us PRACTICAL and LIVABLE here – to make them concrete and put them into action – in such a way that we are able to live what our dreams show us instead of trying to align our reality to the visual content of the dream – because it is NOT about the visuals – it is about OURSELVES and our SELF-EXPRESSION.

To summarize and conclude: We look at the RESONANCE and SUBSTANCE of the dreams – the WORDS that can be read in between the lines – and put those words/expressions into PRACTICAL application in our Daily Living – that is the solution.


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