Tag Archives: solutions

Day 365: Solutions Instead of Defeat

Today I listened to the following interview on Eqafe: Interview Request – Polar Bears, Ice Melting, and Manifested Consequence. And as is always the case with Eqafe interviews, they assist and support me in opening up new insights and realizations.

When I listened to this interview, what opened up was the point of how I tend to feel defeated when I look at the world and the problems we are facing. It is not only because of how big the problems are, but because there seems to be only a minority of people that cares about finding solutions, and a majority that prefers to live in ignorance. There is however a alternative to defeat. That is changing my focus, from seeing the problems, to instead seeing the solutions. And I find this to be true not only in regards to world problems, but also in relation to my own personal issues – I often forget about the SOLUTIONS.

It is as if our minds are addicted to the problems and to the experience of defeat. We like to find the problems, to talk about the problems, to become stressed about the problems, and to give up in the face our problems. Finding solutions to the problems, that is secondary, and many times, nonexistent. That is the case with environmental issues such as the melting of the ice caps or global warming. We become stressed and emotional, and then we give up – we accept defeat and that it is too late to do anything, that is, before we have even begun. The proper response would have been to USE that stress as a motivation to get off our asses and start doing something about it.

And with regards to our personal issues. When a point opens up that seems to be too big, we easily accept defeat. Or, when we have tried a couple of different solutions, we stop pushing tell ourselves that it is no use. And then we come up with a justification as to why we are not continuing to push. This has happened to me several times – I will face a difficult point – and when I notice that it is going to take a lot out of me to change the point – accepting defeat is not far away. Though, I do have examples from my life where I have not accepted defeat. In those moments, what I have done, is that when I have been at the brink of giving up, I have taken a deep breath and re-focused my attention. I have then again looked at what it is that I want to achieve, and why I want to achieve it. I have reminded myself of my goals – and after pausing for a moment – I have moved myself to continue.

The trick has been to move beyond the point of feeling defeated. And this way I have been able to learn many skills that I initially perceived as impossible for me to acquire. One example is playing guitar. When I began, I could not fathom that I would one day be able to play the songs of my favorite bands. But I kept on practicing, I kept on looking at tips for how to improve on my technique, and then, at some point, I was suddenly able to play the songs I wanted to. It was a process of accumulation, where I day in and day out practiced a little, grew a little, moved a little – and in time – those small moments accumulated into a big change/movement – I learned to play guitar!

In this process of moving beyond defeat, solutions are essential. If I keep my focus on the problem, I will create more of it, get deeper into it, loose my sense of clarity and direction. I might even forget what it is that I WANT to happen, what is my goal? And then all I do is to try and find ways to cope with what is happening, instead of actively finding ways to definitively solve the problem. Understanding the problem is only the first step, the rest of the steps is about establishing a solid and sustainable change – and that is where the focus should be: What is that I want to create?

I will continue to practice this point of moving past defeat and creating solutions. Especially when a emotion comes up within me, presenting me with a problem, to then convert that emotional energy into a movement within me to instead look for a solution to the problem that I face. To not accept and allow myself to get stuck in a quagmire but to keep on moving – to keep on expanding – to keep on CREATING.


 

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Day 261: Creating Movement – Part 5: Practical Solutions for Resistance

In this blog we are going to look closer at some practical solutions for resistance, that I have found works effectively. There are four applications that I have discovered helps a lot when that resistance comes up from within – and I will be walking through them in order.

Be clear on you new direction

The first solution is to be clear on your direction. In order to be able to walk through that tough, and difficult moment, when the resistance comes up, and you do not feel like doing anything, it is important that you have your direction in place. Basically this means the following: You know WHY you are changing, you know HOW you are going to change, you know WHAT will happen if you do not change (consequences) and you know WHAT will happen if you change (rewards).

If you are not clear on these points within yourself, you are going to find it much easier to give in, and give up when the resistance towards movement comes up from within. The reason for this being that you have not established a purpose, and reason for yourself, you are trying to change something, yet you are not entirely clear on why, how and what you are changing. Thus, my suggestion is that you sit down with yourself, and write out your reasons for changing.

Lets take an example from my own life, my law-studies. Now I experienced resistance towards studying and reading the course literature, though I knew that I had to do it in order to be able to pass my exams. Thus, I wrote about the point and established the following: I am changing this resistance into actually reading my books BECAUSE (why) I want to be able to earn my living as a lawyer. I will change this resistance through (how) sitting down and reading my books for two hours every day. If I do not do this for myself, I might not be able to pass my exams, and thus I cannot become a lawyer (consequence). Though if I do sit down and read the literature, I will pass my exams, and be able to have a enjoyable and challenging job in my future (reward).

Placing it before myself in this way I was able to clearly see the value in changing myself, and why I had to do it – and this helped me to push through in those moments when I did not feel like reading or putting down any time in my education.

Stick with your body

The next solution is to Stick With Your Body. Now, what does that mean? Well, look at it this way: Resistance is a energy that comes up from within, telling you to act and behave in a certain way – and this energy will feel real and overpowering when you go into it, start feeding it, paying attention to it, and change yourself according to it. But, if we take a look at your physical body – you will see that regardless of the resistance that comes up within you, it will still be there, the heart will still be beating, lungs and breathing working perfectly – most parts of the body will be stable, still and the same as before the resistance – and this is important to notice.

Resistance as such does not affect the body and instead the body moves itself on the basis of practical considerations, and if it would not do that – we would be dead a long time ago. Thus, if you, instead of going into the resistance energy, place your focus and attention on your breathing, and the sensations of your physical body – this will allow you to use the body as a point of grounding/stabilization. And when you stand with the body, on the ground, you are going to notice a fascinating thing: The resistance does not have power over you – it is only a energy – and regardless of its intensity you are still able to decide on how you move within and as your human physical body.

To sum it up: The body/physical matter transcends resistance – and when you stand with the body – you will be able to use its stability and groundedness to support yourself to move through the resistance and come out on the other side.

Know your enemy

The third solution is to know your enemy, and with this I do not mean that you should go into war with resistance and your mind – no – what I mean is that it is important to understand how resistance moves, and when it moves. My observations on this point is that resistance moves in quickly, and will peak after a while, but if you continue to move through the resistance, it will run out of fuel and die out. As such – resistance does not last – it has a due date and if you stick to your guns, and continue to move, resistance does not stand a chance.

Accordingly it has been supportive to me to, every time a resistance comes up within me, say to myself that: ‘Okay, here are you resistance – though you will not be here for ever!’ – and then I continue to push and walk through the experience. This helps because you get to understand that even though it feels overwhelming and tough, there will come a moment when the resistance is going to dissipate and you will be home through.

And then – its also supportive to know WHEN the resistance usually arise, because then you will be prepared, you will know what is coming, so that you can implement your new direction immediately as you sense that lingering urge to just not do whatever it is that you are supposed to be doing.

Just do it

The last point, and possibly the most potent of all the solutions I have walked through, and by far the most simplistic, is to: Just do it. No rocket science here – though fascinatingly enough – we tend to forget this fact and instead of moving, and directing ourselves in the physical, we start asking ourselves why we do not change, if there is something we have missed, or if there is something wrong with us, because we just cannot seem to change. I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you; all you have to do is to do it. When you resist something, you take a breath, and move yourself to do it. It cannot be simpler.

So, when you find that you are wondering, or looking at potential reasons as to why you are not becoming more disciplined, then you know that ‘Shit! I am not actually DOING it!’ – and this serves as a nice alarm to know that its now time for you to get on with the doing – stop thinking about it – Just do it!

Next blog

So, these are my four practical solutions for dealing with resistance. Test them out, play around with them, and see what works for you. Maybe you will find that a combination of the applications or slightly changed application will work better for you. Transcending and learning to direct resistance is a personal process, and thus what works for me, does not necessarily have to work for you – though at least you know have some basic tools that you are able to start with.

In my next blog I am going to go into and explain the Rewards that come when you start moving through resistance, and begin your life of self-creation – it is a truly remarkable experience and the blog will definitely be worth reading.

Creating Movement – Part 1: Introduction
Creating Movement – Part 2: How laziness is created – external causes
Creating Movement – Part 3: How Laziness is Created – Internal Causes
Creating Movement – Part 4: Learning To Handle Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 5: Practical Solutions for Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 6: Baby Steps To Change
Creating Movement – Part 7: The Rewards

Day 199: When Finding Solutions is a Cover Up

I’ve found that my stress and anxiety in most cases start in the morning, and that it becomes activated by a single thought – and that I then after that will substantiate and keep the reaction alive through going into backchat about the point. The backchat will be in the nature of ‘solution finding’ – which means that I will in a slight yet clearly palpable experience of stress and worry find ways out of this fear experience – I will place myself in future positions and difficulties and come up with innovative ways to deal with the point. Though – the problem is that this entire inner exploration of solutions isn’t really about solutions – it’s about stress and worry – and my continuation in this form of backchat merely puts fuel on the fire.

So, what I see is that I must become even more strict with myself in regards to not going into these inner discussions – and instead I must practice and push myself to catch that first and initial thought that arise within me that otherwise will place me in the pattern of stress and worry. Here it’s important for me to understand that thinking about these things WILL NOT HELP – it won’t make the challenges and difficulties of life go away – it will not save me from this world – because that is an idea that me as well as many of us carry around.

We somehow believe that thinking about things will ameliorate the issues, and that when we go into our minds and look for ‘solutions’ – that we’re actually creating something that will be able to utilize in the future to make our lives more effective – though in most instances the only thing we do when we visit our minds in this way is that we fuel the initial experience, the emotion or feeling that was triggered at the outset – and we don’t reach any form of conclusion or insight – we just think about the point – missing the life that is here before us.

Thus – this idea of believing that thinking somehow benefits me, and makes life easier for me, and that without thinking, I wouldn’t be able to see, and find effective solutions for myself, and direct myself in my day-to-day living – that is what I will work with in this blog – to within this develop a clear understanding that the thoughts that arise within me do only have one purpose – and one design – and that is to keep me locked into a constant state of energy and experience so that I won’t step out and see that there is another way of life possible – a way of life that is based on physical living – a life that is stable and the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that through thinking about the future, and through creating these apparent solutions in my mind, where I dwell in problems in my mind, churning them over and over again, that this helpful for me – and that this assists and supports me in life – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this thinking in-fact doesn’t lead to anything of worth and value what-so-ever – that the only thing I am producing with this thinking is more anxiety, more fear, more worry – and even more problems to take into account

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself when and as I notice that my backchat take the form of thinking about the future, trying to establish solutions to problems that I’ve imagined in my mind, problems that I fear and experience a worry towards, and then try to remove, and push away through thinking about them, and establishing these strategic plans and tactical maneuvers – so that I can avoid any such situation coming into my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that thinking about these fears will not solve the issue, because the problem must be dealt with at it’s core, and the problem that I am facing here is that I’m still carrying around with and generating large amounts of fear, and thus I see, realize and understand that the real solution must be where I target this initial origin problem, where I stop the participation in any form of thought, or backchat that lead into creating more energy, and where I as such make it a priority for myself to stabilize myself in this regard

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stressed thinking about the future and how it might possibly be difficult for me to get a job close to where I live – and get a job that I will be able to effectively sustain my life upon – and this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a character and way of attempting to deal with this – as thinking about what I can possibly do if I find myself in such a situation – how I can possibly deal with the situation – how I can possibly find a way out – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the problem at it’s core and it’s origin – which is the initial thought of worry and doubt that comes up within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ending up in a position where my life is being compromised on several levels, and in several dimensions – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to commute long distances in the future – in the fear that I won’t in such circumstances have the necessary time to devote to myself and my process – and the things in life that are my responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will in the future not have the necessary time to devote to my process – my partner – and interests as well as hobbies – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear and anxiety that my work is going to eat up my time – and that it’s going to devour and suffocate my beingness and expression – and that there won’t be anything left of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that in the future – I will end up in a position and state where I feel that I don’t have enough room – and space to develop myself – and place attention to the things that I like to do – and enjoy to do – and hope that I will be able to do in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing the freedom to choose – to fear loosing the freedom to build and create my life according to the hopes and desires that I’ve created in my childhood – such as having a lifestyle of me being FREE – of my life being easy and comfortable – and me being able to dedicate my time and effort to the things that I like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my lifestyle in the future will be rigorous – that it will require discipline – and that I am very specific with what I do with the little pastime that I do possess – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing my ability to choose and decide what to do with my life – how much leisure time that I have – how much pastime that I place into things that I enjoy and fancy doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping into the adult world of making money – having a family – and working in the system – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will loose myself in this entire process and machinery – that my beingness and expression will become lost in all the duties, responsibilities, commitments, and requirements – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach my future in fear – instead of approaching it within and as courage and stability – instead of realizing that regardless of what I will face – I do have the necessary tools – I do have the necessary skills to be able to deal with the points and establish a solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a child, and fear building my own house, and settling down with my partner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it will become a too demanding and strenuous burden – that it will suck the life out of me – suck the enjoyment out of me – and disable me from being able to do anything of significance and worth with my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a state of fear of going into and embracing my future and my life – believing that I will most certainly loose myself – instead of making the commitment that regardless of what I face – I will stand – and I will move – and I will make sure that I nourish and substantiate my relationship with myself – and that I take care of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing and leading a life that is swamped with responsibilities – commitments – duties and obligations – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing my freedom – to fear loosing time that I can use towards anything that I’d like – to fear that my life will become a prison where I can’t do anything that I’d like to – and that I can’t create and build anything that I’d like to – because there is no time – there is no opportunity – there is no freedom for me to be able to create such a point – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is in-fact a fear – and that it’s not a reality – that I don’t know what my future will bring – and that it’s as such completely unnecessary to exist within and as this constant and continuous state of fear towards it

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that a problem comes up within me, a picture of the future where I see myself being dissatisfied and out of time, stressed and having lost my freedom, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this picture that comes up within me is a thought, and that if I follow it I am going to create consequences for myself such as fear, and anxiety, thus I commit myself to push through my curiosity and desire to go into that thought, and find solutions to the apparent problem it presents – and I commit myself to stabilize myself HERE within and as my human physical body – within and as breath – and walk HERE – participate HERE – and face my future within and as breath

I commit myself to embrace responsibilities, commitments, duties and obligations – to not anymore fear loosing my freedom and ability to do what I want – but to realize that in order to have an impact I require to give up my self-interest – and thus give up my desire to be able to choose what to do with my life – and thus I commit myself to face the point of giving up my hopes for a easy life – and instead walk into a life of making sure that I do whatever is required to bring forth a new existence that is best for all

I commit myself to immediately stop when there is stress and worry arising within me, to not try to find solutions and ways out of these apparent problems, but to instead stop and then let go – to stop and then stabilize myself HERE – and thus I commit myself to trust myself that when I walk into my future I will direct the points that emerge effectively – I will trust myself and make the best of the situation – make the best of myself – thus I commit myself to stop fear and instead give my attention to living and breathing – and creating myself here within and as the physical

Finding Problems Instead of Solutions

I’ve had a cool realization today that I would like to share. It all began when I was with my mother in our shed. We where going to check out some windows, which we were then going to use in order to re-place our other one’s that are already installed on the house – because we’re going to take the already installed one’s down for a while, due to maintenance, and that is when we need the old windows to take their place.

So, we where in the shed inspecting windows and I noticed how dirty it was in the shed. There was shit everywhere – metal, bathtubs, toilets, building material – and I started to complain in my head that it was dirty; then I started to speak it.

I actually thought as I started to speak to my mother, about how I thought it was dirty in the shed, that I was being self-honest, thinking that I am revealing this mess that is here, I am showing this mess to my mother. But then I realized, after a while of speaking, in this starting point of pointing out the shit that was everywhere around me, that I wasn’t actually doing anything supportive at all. I wasn’t taking responsibility for the shit that was around me and I didn’t have it mind to do it either – I simply wanted to speak about it and point out the apparent badness of it to my mother.

I realized that I was doing this because I wanted to present myself as mature and as a know-it-all, as a grown-up, putting my mother on the spot through showing how badly she had things organized. It made me feel superior and strong and that is why I did it. So, I didn’t realize what I had done until I was actually finished with it. But as I spoke the last word I noticed how I felt funny inside, like almost ill, but not like a sickness, but as a feeling. And I realized this was because I had spoken and shared myself in a way that wasn’t supportive, that wasn’t what was best for all.

Though, this is only one of my realizations – in the moment just prior to my moment of apparent maturity, I had accepted and allowed myself to participate in a similar construct.

This time my mother was standing by the windows attempting to figure out how to solve the problem of closing the empty hole that would be created when we removed the windows for maintenance – as we’ve figured out that the old windows we first wanted to use was to small. My mother then asked me if I could possibly saw out a shape in plywood that would resemble the size of a window, so that we could push it into the to-be hole.

Here is where I then entered the construct, because I started to speak about how difficult this might be, and how it would probably fail – and I did this, firstly, without being completely certain that it would fail, secondly, without coming with any solutions myself – it was like I wanted to focus upon the negativity, and the prospect of a failure, simply in order to be able to feel mature and ‘realistic’ and have my mother perceive me as a experienced and sensible individual – for apparently knowing the limitations of construction work.

So, fascinating – two points of communication with my mother, where I instead of standing here as breath, working with solutions, and taking responsibility for my reality, instead went into negativity, as in wanting to find problems with my reality – so that I could feel superior and more mature than the people in my reality.

Quite the fuck-up. Time to stop this.