Tag Archives: specific

Day 434: How to Create Better Solutions

When faced with a problem, an issue, a difficulty, a tendency that I have noticed within myself, is that in the effort to correct/change this point, I will use positive, strong and abstract words. An example would be the following: I see that I tend to get angry at my partner for not picking up the dishtowel and placing it where I think it should be. I decide to correct this point and create the following correction: “I will love my partner and respect her even though she wants to do things differently in the kitchen”. Hence, a positive, yet, vague and abstract sentence. Now, what I have come to realize, is that this is a problem.

What is problematic with these types of corrections is that they do not offer a concrete, direct and immediate solution – there is not a set guideline for what to do when the pattern arise – and because of that it is very easy to fall back into old behaviors. Because what does it really mean to ‘love’ my partner in this context? Should I remain quiet? Should I go and give my partner a kiss? Should I look at my partner lovingly and then proceed to simply change the positioning of the dishtowel myself? And what does it mean to respect that my partner wants to do things differently in the kitchen in this particular situation? Should I then respect it, however, still be angry about it?

Vague words creates uncertainty and indecisiveness in the moment of correction, because we do not have a clear image/vision of what we are going to create. In the world system, this mistake can be found in my places. One example is human rights. They do sound lovely; we should respect everyone, and each person is born free and with the same rights as everyone else. Though in practical terms, what do these beautiful words mean? Should everyone then have the same salary? What does it really mean? And because there is no clear and precise structure placed through the words – what happens is… nothing. Since the implementation of Human Rights, next to nothing has happened – and partially – that is because there has not been a structural and specifically defined way forward.

What is important to think about when creating a correction/solution for oneself?

There are a few guidelines that I use when I define a solution for myself – and these I have found to consistently support me to define effective and empowering corrections. Firstly, I make sure that the correction is GROUNDED, and with that I mean that the solution is a physical or mental movement that can be easily understood and acted upon. An example would be, to take a deep breath. That is simple, easy to understand and practical solution. I know how to take a deep breath every day.

Secondly, I make the solution EASY. There is no point in designing/imagining a long and complex set of movements or words that I am to speak, because later in the day, I will forget it anyway. Hence, I have realized that I need something that sticks. I need a catchy solution, a bit like a song that sticks on my brain. One solution I had, when I practiced structure and following through on plans, was to each time I noticed that I wanted to veer and digress from what I was doing, to say: ‘No, focus’ – and then I turned my attention back to the project I was doing.

Thirdly, I push myself to have the solution be SPECIFIC. The solution should be complete and finished, precise, in what I am supposed to do, when and how – when the moment comes and the correction must be applied – there should not be anything more to consider – but simply to apply.

Thus, GROUNDED, EASY and SPECIFIC, these are three guidelines I use when creating and defining solutions for myself, and they have assisted and supported me a lot in defining supportive ways for me to live and correct inefficient living patterns.


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Day 300: Living The Word Thorough

I have now pushed myself to live and apply the word thorough for about a week. During this time I have realized that living thoroughness is about pushing through in the small moments, in those moments when I would like to ‘just move on’ – ‘to get done’ – ‘to leave it as it is’ – and instead, then,  give that little extra of myself to finalize and complete the task at hand so that the result is not only good, but the best that it can be.

What I have found in this process is that the number one enemy to thoroughness is stress, impatience and laziness. Being thorough is closely connected to patience, and patience cannot come through when I stress. Because living thorough means taking a point through, from beginning to end, walking each part of the creation into completion, not jumping ahead, or skipping steps, but walking all steps as is required to fulfill the creation. And when I stress, that is not possible, as I will try to gain time by jumping ahead, by moving fast and without precision, and that means I will miss steps in the creation process. Thus, not walking each part of the creation into completion.

To effectively live the word thoroughness, what is required hence a silence and stability within and as myself. Without that silence and stability, thoroughness is very difficult if not impossible to embody, as my thoughts will jump all over the place, and my mind will not be able to focus on the creation process that is HERE and right before me. And this is yet another key to living thorough – FOCUS – because in being thorough, there is a attention on this moment here, and the part of creation that is walked here – as such the attention cannot be split into the future or past at what could and what could have been – that will compromise the creation taking place in this moment. What comes through in the sound of thorough is – THROUGH heremeaning that is through being HERE that creation can be taken into perfection.

This hit me today, how much of our lives we do on auto mode, and how much we miss because of that. Consider for example, how few people get really good at cooking. Yet still, this is something we do nearly each day. What differs those becoming really good from those that do not? One thing is presence and awareness, those that learn and evolve in a particular skill are ACTIVELY engaging with reality – actively pushing themselves to learn more, enhance their skills and abilities – and as such they are FOCUSED on reality – and thorough – making sure that they are aware and attentive of each step in the process of creation. Hence, living thorough is a way of getting to that point within self of actively participating and engaging with reality, where things are not left half-done, or average, but where each step is pushed and finalized; as they say – The Devil is in the Details.