Tag Archives: state

Day 337: How To End Rear View Mirror Living?

When you build something big, such as a house, there will (unless you are MacGyver or some other perfect individual) be mistakes made, things missed, points forgotten, or not considered sufficiently. I know because I have been there, it is not possible, or at least, close to impossible to build the perfect house, or the perfect what-so-ever. In the end, there will always be things that could have been better. For me, it has been sometimes difficult to come to terms with these mistakes, that after the house has been finished, each day openly and glaringly stares me in my face. The emotion is there, that deep urge, and desire, to be able to turn back time and make a different decision, the right one. And even though it is of no point to go in my mind go back in time, and consider these things, the experience driving this thought-process is an experience that it could potentially change something, there is that nagging experience, that maybe, maybe if I stick with it, and look at it once more, it will change.

This way of approaching life – which I coin Rear-View-Mirror-Living – is a real party killer. The consequences of ‘Rear-Mirroring’ (the verb conjugation of my new word) is that I will not give the necessary attention to my life HERE, I will not focus on improving and pushing my daily living forward, but my thoughts, and my considerations will remain in the past – LIFE here will become but a empty narrative – bereft of substance – because all of my being will be in the past. The main problem thus is that no CREATION will happen as all attention is gathered on what has already been created – and the faults/mistakes of that particular creation – it is a form of regret. And we, sane people, can all agree that living in regret is no way to live, though few of us are able to use that regret, the Rear-Mirror-Living, as keys to self-expansion and building a better life for ourselves. In other words, making the enemy our friend.

What we see in our rear view and that bugs us will be consequences created by aspects of ourselves which we are able to change in the present. Unfortunately however, what we see in our rear view, such as regrets, will often end up as an emotion a – a state of dissatisfaction and a point that we continuously go back to in order to ponder – only serving our mind and not our physical creation. Hence, what is missed in that state of pondering about the past is that we can instead look at HOW we created the particular situation that is now a point of regret within us; What about our character was responsible for creating the situation/point we now experience a regret towards? Because, if we are able to see HOW we created a particular point in the past, we can identify where we are creating the same in our present reality, and thus how we are able to assist and support ourselves to change, and realign, to NOT recreate the past.

A part from us being able to shift the tendency of Rear-View-Mirror-Living into a present and future oriented CREATION living – what is important when it comes to stopping our ‘looking back phenomena’ is to dare to NOT think – having the courage to simply STOP. I have noticed that at times, I have felt compelled to think about something, and oftentimes the illusion is that I am able to reach some form of conclusion or state of release by thinking, thus making me anxious of stopping my thought process, because what if I then miss out on this great realization I am apparently about to have? However, I have realized that, thinking about these things, without exception, always leads to an even more unstable and conflicted state of mind. Release only comes through letting go of the process of thinking, and that takes some courage, because it implies letting go of the problem/issue/experience that is the foundation of the thought pattern. And because we let go of a foundation, we now have to create our own self – our own direction/movement/future – that is why it is so scary – we are entering into the unknown.

Let us look at another perspective on this point: When someone goes of rambling about mistakes they did in the past, it is easy to attempt and try to comfort them by telling them that things are not as bad as they think. This however is not an efficient way of approaching the Rear-View-Character – what instead should be brought to their attention is that by looking at the mechanics of HOW their past moment was created – and HOW those mechanics are still a part of their present life – and as such – they will be able to stop themselves from recreating their past. Hence their focus and effort should be placed on aligning and changing these inefficient traits, memes and quirks (their current self-mechanics) so that they can walk into a better future. When we look at the past pro-actively – it can be a GREAT source of knowledge that we are able to use to get to know ourselves better.

To sum it up. Rear-View-Mirror-Living (do I have copyright on this term now?) is in its essence an addiction to thoughts – we want to think about our past – feel good or bad about it – continuously assess, value, pinpoint, and define with our minds. This is a LIMITATION – because by existing in a Rear View State – we miss out on CREATING our life HERE. This brings me into the solution – which is to CREATE: CREATE our future – CREATE our character – CREATE our skills, abilities, our integrity, our state of mind, our WHO WE ARE – and NOT leave anything to to chance. In that process of CREATION – we are able to use our inner Rear View Mirror to LEARN about ourselves – to see where we need fine tuning, and to understand, what consequences our characters and patterns have the potential of creating. However – the Rear View must never become a purpose in itself – we USE it to expand – not to be in a constant state of looking back.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 109: Living Up To My Ideals

Today I would like to write about self-judgment. This is a point that during the last days have been accumulating within me.

The context of this self-judgment, as it comes up within me, is that I will have, during my day, said or done something which I in hindsight believe haven’t been up to standards – it was the wrong thing to say, it was stupid to say, to was ridiculous to say – and the thought coming up within me in the moment, as I look back on the event – is a big NO – I shouldn’t have said or done that!

In connection with this thought an experience of embarrassment together with anxiety arise within me, and I can see that I am within my mind, looking at myself from the perspective of how I believe others see me – I look at myself from a third person view, and create these various thoughts towards myself, as I see myself act and behave and speak.

When I look at how I’ve behaved and acted in self-honesty, I am able to see that there isn’t necessarily anything wrong or bad with what I’ve said or done – mostly it’s these very minor mistakes, or errors, as I perceive them; such as for example: yesterday I was in school, and decided to speak on a particular subject, yet the point didn’t come out very clearly, and I also became nervous and shaky in my voice as I shared the point – I mean, looking at this, it’s obvious that this is not in anyway severe or bad and something that I in the future, in all ways should attempt and try to avoid – it was simply me not being clear on a point, and then as I shared it, my communication and sharing of the point reflected how I wasn’t yet effectively standing and being clear as to what it was I communicated.

What I see being the solution, is that I must be more gentle with myself, and accept and allow myself to make mistakes – also as experiences come up from within me, what I tend to do is that I judge myself for having these experiences come up within me, instead of accepting and allowing myself to be gentle and patient, and get to know the points, get to know myself – and change myself – not from a starting point of blame and self-judgment – but from within and as a starting point of being gentle with myself.

I can also see this point of hardness not only coming through within, but I also express it outwardly, and it reveals in how I deal with, and direct relationships in my direct world – I tend to be very harsh, brutal and inconsiderate – and the motto I hold is the one of “Do it now, and do it right!” – instead of realizing that with some points, this stance isn’t very effective at all – because some points do require another approach – a more gentle, considerate and soft approach – which is something that I will work with; to allow myself to be gentle with myself and others in my world.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself, judge myself, be angry at myself, and frustrated when I perceive that I am doing mistakes, when I am faulting, and when I am not behaving as I perceive that I should behave and experience myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be gentle with myself, to not be more soft in my approach with myself – and within this accept and allow myself to make mistakes and not judge myself for doing such

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself and judge myself when I make mistakes, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect from myself that I will always do everything perfect immediately, and I will not in anyway fail, and make a mistake – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be inconsiderate towards myself, wherein I am not taking myself into account, but simply expecting of myself that I will do what is necessary to be done, not questions asked, I will get the point immediately, no questions asked – and if I don’t – well then I am apparently a complete failure who must be punished

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself within myself, to go into and as these punishing sprees within my mind, wherein I am berating myself, thinking that I am not good enough – why didn’t I immediately walk through this point, why do I experience myself like this, why haven’t I yet changed this particular point? And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be gentle with myself, and accept and allow myself to move slowly, to open up one point at a time, and to when I make decisions in my world, to take myself into account as who I am here – and not as the idea of who I want to be that exists within my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea in my mind of who and what I want to be, that I compare myself with, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be gentle with myself, be caring and loving towards myself, wherein I do not accept and allow myself to be harsh and judgmental with myself, but wherein I instead take things slowly, walk points as fast as I am able to walk them, and I do not expect more of myself than what I am currently able and capable of walking effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect more from myself than what I am able to practically and effectively walk, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be caught in a state of expectation, that I should be, express and experience myself as I see in my mind, as the idea I’ve created of who and what I should be, instead of accepting and allowing myself to be HERE with myself, and realize that this what I am here in this moment, this is what is real, this is what is of actual physical reality – and the ideals existing in my mind – that is not real – that is a idea of who and what I should be and not what and who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk practically, physically here in this physical world, and thus work with myself on a very simplistic, basic, physical level – working with myself as I am here in this moment, and thus not expecting of myself that I should be or experience myself as something more than what I am here – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto this perception and idea that I must behave as this self-realized human being, that exists in my mind, and that I must also experience myself as this self-realized human-being that exists within and as my mind – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I am limiting myself, and creating consequences for myself when I expect myself to be and behave as something that I am not yet able to stand and live as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should be able to stand and live as the idea of myself that I’ve created in my mind, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I am limiting myself, and create huge consequences for myself, when I constantly go and hold unto this dream image of who I should be – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself here – and live in a idea of who I should be – instead of seeing who I am here – and working with who I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that judging myself for mistakes that I’ve made is irrational, because it implies that I am holding unto a idealized version of myself in my mind that apparently shouldn’t have made the mistake that I did – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I did do that particular mistake, and that this is the reality of who I am, and that it’s nothing bad, or wrong – it’s simply the reality of who I am here – and thus I am able to take this point – work with it – and instead push myself to in practical physical reality stabilize myself and learn from my mistakes and upgrade myself in real-time application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto a ideal of who I should be that I compare myself with, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when it is that I do not stand and live up to this ideal existing within and as my mind – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of all ideals, let go of all desires of who and what I should be, and instead work with who I am here – bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – to breath – to being here with myself – and realize that this is what is real – and thus this is what I must work with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my ideals of who I should be aren’t real, but are in-fact only existing in my mind, as ideas, as believes, as hopes, as experiences – and thus to compare myself towards these is simply irrational – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when and as I make a mistake, that this is nothing bad, it’s nothing to judge, it’s nothing to put blame on myself for – it’s simply is what it is – and it’s a opportunity for me to correct myself, to get to know myself better, to make my application more effective, more specific – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here to myself – and accept and allow myself to work with myself as what is here

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am judging myself, through comparing myself with an ideal in my mind of how I should be, how I should behave, how I should experience myself, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself and creating consequences for myself, because I am trying to live up to something in my mind that isn’t real and practical – and thus I commit myself to work with myself directly here – and not exist in my mind in ideas of who I should be – but instead breath and be here with who and what I am here for real

When and as I see that I am going into judgment, and comparison – and I think that I’ve made a terrible mistake, a terrible error, because I’ve not lived up to the ideas I have of myself in my mind, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that these ideas of myself aren’t real, and only serve to create friction within me, wherein I attempt and try to live up to something, and create myself as something, that isn’t in-fact practical and real; thus I commit myself to be with myself here – to work with what is here as myself in-fact instead of judging what is here as myself

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Criminals Aren’t Criminals

Recently I’ve had the privilege to look at some sweet documentaries about prison, which as been done by Louis Theroux. In these documentaries, basically, Louis takes you on a tour through some of USA’s big prisons, wherein he meet’s convicts, talks with them, and get’s to know them; and this is one thing that is so cool about the documentary, the convicts really open themselves up and you can actually get a glimpse as to the day to day reality and thinking of an average inmate.

So, a sweet documentary that shows that sour and bitter reality that we’re faced with in terms of our justice system, as our prisons. When watching the documentaries it becomes obvious that most inmates have either committed a crime due to poverty, or due to an ineffective childhood education, wherein they have been smitten with delusional and violent behavior from their parents, or peers. These are the two most frequent topics that arise as Louis goes through the prisons, interviewing its inhabitants.

What strikes me is the complete mental torture that a prison is seen to be, I mean, here several men spending time with each other in a very small space, most of them testosterone-junkies with no ability to express themselves in a vulnerable and intimate way; what do you think is going to happen? Yes – obviously they will fight with each other as crazy, and they’ll further enhance with each other behavioral dysfunctions such as violent characteristics. To be in a prison, in no way, supports anyone to become a more responsible, fulfilled and self-independent human being – all it does is to pit men together in a hierarchal struggle for survival – forgotten and pushed away by the rest of society as ‘the criminals’.

That is quite fascinating to see in the documentary, that with each other the criminals put up their ‘criminal-face’, as the hardened veteran, the tough guy on the corner, while with Louis, they sort of accept and allow themselves to let their guard down, and talk freely. And then it’s cool to see these so-called hardened villains come out and share their feelings, and their thoughts about themselves and their life. And then one see and understand that these people are in-fact not less than anyone else in society, they are not bad people, they have simply been born in the wrong circumstances. Pitted into a life of crime by their friends, family, and need – as such to give someone a sentence of 20 years for theft, or robbery, this will not remove the problem.

And as I’ve said, the problem is education and/or a lack of money. The prison neither serves to educate people or give them money, all it does is that it deals out punishment, because apparently wrong has been done, and as such justice must be delivered. But never is the origin considered, never is the reason for the crime considered, never is it considered that maybe the very existence of the laws is what creates the crime.

In many way’s prison resembles parents punishment of their children, because children do not mean to be ‘bad’, they don’t mean to misbehave – in-fact children are expressing themselves, enjoying themselves here, and then have the misfortune to break a mental boundary set up by an adult – as what is right to do and what is wrong to do. And then the parent lash out and ‘correct the kid’, without understanding that it might not be the kid that is doing something wrong, but instead the mental idea of the parent that is wrong. Or that the kid might be attempting to say something with it’s behavior, as in showing that there might be points in it’s environment that doesn’t support it to live effectively.

And what does the prison try to do with its inmates? It tries to make them pay for their crimes and not want to do them again – having them to be afraid of loosing time in ‘real life’ so to speak – having to spend all their times behind four walls. But nowadays, ‘real life’ for most people is so horrible that there are those that actually prefer the risk of ending up in jail, instead of having to work a slavery job, at a slave wage.

And obviously the inmates do not respect the authority that has put them there, they don’t see their time in jail as a punishment for something ‘bad’ that they’ve done. They simply experience their time in jail as being mistreated and misunderstood, just as children experience themselves when their parents decide to punish them, as the parents refuse to see, or understand the position of it’s child, refusing to hear them out and listen to their perspective – completely lost in the ideas of RIGHT and WRONG.

And obviously, what most laws come down to, and what most prison sentences are give to protect is MONEY. Yes, property and money. That is why most people end up in jail, because they can’t keep their hands of these things. And apparently they are then not moral, ‘hard working’, and good citizens but instead leeches – oh god – so little is understood as to how this reality functions, as to why things occur and happen as they do.

And just as a child doesn’t consider itself as doing wrong when it does what it finds fun, the ‘criminal’ doesn’t see it as wrong when it steals another’s property, I mean, the so-called criminal almost always, has no ability to attain or reach a lifestyle or position, such as those they are robbing from. To rob have become their job, and their way to earn money fast, without having to do a hard, tough physical job, that doesn’t pay good money; who can blame them?

The criminals are in-fact not criminals; they are misunderstood children that haven’t been given the proper treatment and support in life. Our governments have been all about the support of greed and ego of the few, while the rest have had to suffer, this the reason for crime; that there is no equality.

The solution is equal money for all – I suggest you investigate. Also look at the movies – I’ll post the links down-under.

Until next time!

Louis Theroux, Behind Bars (1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIfXg0dKIvM

Louis Theroux, Behind Bars (2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-JeTTZ- … re=related

Louis Theroux, Behind Bars (3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDUnahp5 … re=related

Louis Theroux, Behind Bars (4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc7CgSNX … re=related
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Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E1 P1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px2kTQKZ … re=related

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E1 P2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8Briz0C … re=related

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E1 P3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soJt7-4w … re=related

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E1 P4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl5LzES8 … re=related
_________________________

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E2 P1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQLVA6Fe … re=related

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E2 P2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXUFYYHZ … re=related

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E2 P3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivB4CCA3 … re=related

Louis Theroux Miami Mega Jail E2 P4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVW8fjf2 … re=related
_________________________

This documentary is about crime-fighting in philadelphia

BBC Law and Disorder 1of4 In Philadelphia 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSX0CXjz … re=related

BBC Law and Disorder 1of4 In Philadelphia 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2dcBIF6 … re=related

BBC Law and Disorder 1of4 In Philadelphia 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwLdHEHfnr8

BBC Law and Disorder 1of4 In Philadelphia 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fo9uDmhOYU